A Different Divergent: A Better Tomorrow
by moonshine356
Summary: Tris and Tobias face off against enemies new and old in the third installment of the Different Divergent series: A Better Tomorrow. Will they find their happily ever after or will everything they've worked so hard for be ripped away from them forever. Based on Veronica Roth's characters from the Divergent trilogy.
1. Chapter 1

A contented sigh escapes my parted lips as I doze in the circle of Tobias' loving embrace, enjoying the warm late-afternoon breeze caressing my naked body. We're lying atop the large, soft, traditional red-and-white-checked picnic blanket he bought especially for our trip, a tangled mess of arms and legs, basking in the afterglow of our lovemaking beneath the massive shade tree by the big blue pond on the outskirts of Amity.

Tobias surprised me early Friday morning with an invitation for a spur-of-the-moment long weekend away to the lighthouse bed and breakfast. Of course, I couldn't say no. He _had_ promised me the remainder of our honeymoon trip at a later date and now seemed like as perfect a time as any. He took it upon himself to make the reservations after Tori, Will, and Harrison graciously offered us some much-needed time off. He even called my parents who had offered to watch Tyler and Tessa if we ever wanted to get away and took them up on their offer.

We've had very little downtime since the Maria, Erin, and Dr. Young fiasco. Instead of dwelling on what happened and what might have been, we jumped head first into work. As a matter of fact, the only reminder I have of that horrible time is the ragged, red scar that runs across my right biceps from where Dr. Young shot me. The past two weeks have flown by with preparations for initiation, which starts in eight short days. Tobias, Uriah, Christina, and I have had countless meetings trying to nail down the final details, and we've spent myriad hours in the training room preparing ourselves physically, mentally, and emotionally ... except for Christina. She, of course, has been at home with Liam. I'm confident that we're ready for what the new crop of initiates bring us.

Thankfully, we have the entire bed and breakfast to ourselves again because the first thing I did when we reached our destination was take Tobias' hand in mine and eagerly lead him directly up the seven flights of stairs to the magical bedroom in the old lantern room at the very top of the lighthouse and picked up where we had left off right before we received word that Evelyn's water had broken and Tessa was on her way. It was like no time had passed since the last time we were in that room.

With the exception of occasional bathroom breaks and infrequent meals, we didn't leave that bed until this morning. I took an invigorating shower and quickly dressed in a new sleeveless black and dark gray diagonally striped maternity sundress with a wide black belt and black ballet flats after he asked if I wanted to go pick a name for Peanut. I knew exactly what that meant, a trip to the little farm by the pond where we chose Tessa's name. He packed a picnic lunch while I packed a small bag with swimwear. Of course we haven't gotten around to using either of those two things yet. Upon entering the little meadow again, we both were overcome with memories and passion and immediately made love under the same tree we did two months ago. Everything else could wait.

I drag my tired, heavy eyelids open and take in my peaceful surroundings. It's so magical here … _special_. I can actually picture Tyler fearlessly climbing one of the hundreds of trees that encompass the wildflower-filled field while Tessa, dark curls flying in the wind behind her, chases Peanut round and round playing tag or some other childhood game I never got to play. I can see Tobias throwing a thick rope into the massive lone oak that shades the two-story house, attaching a tire swing for all our kids – three, four, five, _six_ of them to use while I float on the calm waters of our pond.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Tobias' deep voice asks as he gently strokes my back with his calloused fingertips, pulling me from my reverie. "You seem so far away." I turn in his arms and look up into his eyes.

"I was thinking about how much I love it here," I say. "I can picture it … a life with our children in this lovely little meadow. A very _happy_ life. I can't wait to bring them here one day. I'm sure they'll love it as much as I do."

"As much as _we_ do," he firmly but lovingly says. "I don't know what it is about this place but I've often envisioned us living here."

"I would love that so much, Tobias. Maybe one day it could be ours," I say, my voice hopeful.

"I would love that very much, Mrs. Eaton," he says pulling my mouth to his. He leisurely kisses me, letting his talented tongue roam over every inch of my mouth. "How about a swim before lunch?"

"That sounds wonderful," I say. It will be nice to wash off the layer of perspiration that coats my body from our vigorous morning activities. "Shall we use the suits I brought along?" He laughs heartily at my question.

"There's no need for swimsuits," he says, a gleam in his eyes. "I've seen your beautiful naked body before. As a matter of fact, I'm looking at it right now." I meet his eyes, and he's leering at me so I lightly smack him in the shoulder. I struggle out of his embrace and get to my feet. I think about running off without him but instead I hold my hand out to him and help him to his feet. We take off to the other side of the pond then run down the wide wooden plank dock and jump into the sun-heated clear water together. We both surface laughing uncontrollably. We chase each other around the pond much like we did on our honeymoon, and soon I realize just how tired I am. I swim to him and wrap my arms around his neck. He puts his lips on mine as we tread water, kissing me slowly.

"I think I need to rest," I say against his lips.

"Okay," he says releasing me. My mouth goes dry as I watch him swim to the dock and lift himself out of the pond. He sits at the end of the pier with his feet dangling over the edge, droplets of water sparkling off his perfect body, waiting for me. As I stare at my handsome husband, I wonder if my body will always respond to him in this way. One thing I know is that I never want it to stop. He beckons me with his finger, and I finally swim to his side. He easily lifts me out of the pond like I weigh absolutely nothing and sits me next to him.

"That was fun," I say moving so that I'm totally out of the water. I lie back with my arms outstretched above my head so the sun can dry me off, and he lies down beside me. Once again I feel my heavy eyelids dragging, and I turn on my side and snuggle into his hard body.

"We should get out of the sun," he says. "I don't want you to burn." This time he gets to his feet and drags me to mine. He swings me up in his arms and puts his mouth on mine. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him thoroughly while he walks us to our perfect shaded picnic spot. He slowly sinks to his knees, lies me down, and joins me. He caresses my warm cheek while gazing lovingly into my eyes then slowly lowers his mouth until his lips find mine. His tongue tastes of sunshine, pond water, and Tobias.

"We really should get dressed," I murmur against his lips.

"I'm not ready to get dressed just yet, love," he says, tenderly kissing down to my neck, his hands moving over my body.

"What if someone were to see us, Tobias?" I ask. I lift my head and let my eyes nervously scan the surrounding wooded area. "I would die of embarrassment."

"No one will find us," he says, not worried in the least.

"What if someone is out exploring like Zeke was?" I stop my statement and look into his eyes, something close to panic threatening to choke me. "Please tell me it wasn't Maria who he was out here with. I don't think I could stand that."

"It wasn't Maria," he says. "If you remember, I said his girlfriend was a fence worker. Maria was a bitch." I laugh loudly and uninhibitedly at his joke even if it was at the expense of our now dead stalker.

"Have I told you how much I love you today, Mr. Eaton?" I say after our laughter dies down, moving my hands over his body.

"I'm afraid that you haven't, Mrs. Eaton," he says, his tongue seductively stroking my name. I feel the familiar stirrings of desire deep in my belly.

"I love you more today than I did yesterday," I say.

"Hey! That's my line," he says with fake indignation.

"What's yours is mine, right?" I say, pulling his mouth to mine for a passionate kiss but the sound of his hungry stomach stops me. "We should eat. You're hungry."

"I'd much rather have you than food right now," he says, kissing the sensitive spot beneath my left ear, making me melt into him. I'm about ready to give in to the desire that's coursing through my body like a freight train, which is making it hard for me to think straight when his stomach growls again. I wriggle my way out from underneath him and sit up against the tree. He props himself up on his elbow.

"We need to eat, Tobias," I say. "I'm hungry, too." I reach for my dress and his hand captures mine.

"We don't need clothes," he says matter-of-factly, his hungry eyes aggressively scanning my naked body causing me to blush.

"Okay," I say reaching for the picnic basket. I open it and scatter its contents over the blanket between us. He packed turkey avocado sandwiches with bacon and Swiss on fresh baked honey wheat buns, sweet potato salad, a light vegetable pasta salad, melon balls, strawberry shortcake, and a bottle of sparkling cider, which had been frozen but is now thawed but still chilled. Everything tastes even better than it looks, and the icy cider is very refreshing.

"We should talk about baby names," I say after we finish our meal, remembering why it is we came here. "Do you have any ideas?"

"I have lots of ideas," he quietly says under his breath and I roll my eyes at him.

"Mr. Eaton, you seem to have one thing on your mind this weekend," I say taking his hand in mine. He rolls over on his back placing one arm behind his head and looks up at me with dancing eyes.

"I always want to make love to you and right now you look particularly scrumptious." The offer is very tempting but we came here to talk, and if we don't do it now, it won't get done.

"Baby … names," I say, enunciating each syllable.

"Okay, okay," he grumbles. "Baby names now … make love again later." His expression becomes inquisitive as he gazes deeply into my eyes. He suddenly sits up until we're practically nose-to-nose, startling me. "Tell me, love, did you have any favorite names picked out before you met me?"

"Oh, I don't know," I say with a shrug of my shoulders. He gives me a censorious look so I acquiesce. "Fine. Isabella, Elizabeth, Landon, and Logan were always my favorite baby names for as long as I can remember, although I really don't know why. I never really thought about having kids before I met you." I tweak his nose, and he grins at me. "I think I heard others with those particular names while I was growing up and really liked them."

"Do you want to stray from the T's?" he asks, his expression suddenly guarded. I'm sure if I said yes, he would go along with it but our family having all the same first initial was his idea so I know it would disappoint him.

"No," I say. "I love that our family will all have similar sounding names. We've already made that decision, let's not change our minds. Plus I'm not attached to those names."

"Okay, what are your favorite T names again?" he asks. "We should pick from your list this time since Tessa was my favorite girls' name."

"What's your favorite boy name?" I ask, suddenly curious. I remember him liking the name _Bertha_ so I hold my breath hoping it's a name I like too.

"I love the names Tucker, Trevor, and Tanner," he says. "Maybe one day we'll get to use one of them."

"Those aren't bad," I say, thankful he didn't give me names like Theodore or Terrance. "Let's see, if I remember correctly, my names were Theresa, Thea, Toi, and Taya, and the rest of your names were Taelyn, Tressa, and Tabitha. Did I get them right?" He narrows his eyes as he gazes over my left shoulder, and I can see that he's trying to remember.

"That sounds about right," he says. "But I distinctly remember saying no to Theresa the first time, and that has _not_ changed."

"Okay, no to Theresa," I say with a light chuckle. "I've been thinking about this from time to time since Isobel told me Peanut was a girl, and I have a few new ones I really like also: Trinity, Tambry, Teagan, and Tanzi."

"Whoa!" he says somewhat taken aback. "Those are about as polar opposite of Tyler and Tessa as we can get. I'm going to need to let those soak in." He reaches over and tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ear.

"Do you have any others you like?" I ask placing my hand on his knee.

"I like the name Taryn," he says.

"That's a pretty name. I would definitely consider it. I really like Taya, Thea, Taelyn, and the five new ones," I say. "There isn't a common, popular, or old fashioned name in the bunch, well except for maybe Thea. They're more like Four and Tris. If you want something tamer we could start all over again." He absentmindedly twists a strand of my hair around his finger while he processes my idea, and I run each name through my head seeing which one sounds the best with the other two but they all sound good together.

"I'm not sure I like Tanzi or Tambry," he slowly says after a while.

"Okay, no to Tanzi and Tambry," I say. "Any others?"

"I know Taelyn was mine originally but I'm not so sure about it anymore," he says. "I actually like Taryn better when I compare the two."

"Well, we're making progress. We're down to Teagan, Trinity, Taya, Thea, and Taryn then," I say with a growing smile on my lips. "Well my favorite is still on the list."

"May I ask what it is? It might make this go easier," he says. I nervously gnaw on the inside of my cheek as I stare into his loving eyes. What if he hates it? "I'll love it no matter what it is." My eyes widen at his statement. It's like he just read my mind. I lower my head and look up at him through my lashes.

"Teagan," I whisper. He puts his finger on my chin and lifts my eyes to his after I let them fall.

"It's beautiful," he says with a sincere look on his devastatingly handsome face. "It will suit her nicely. I like it."

"Like?" I ask shyly, nervously.

"I _love_ it," he says and I can't help but beam at him. "I also think I have the perfect middle name to go with it … _yours_. Teagan Grace." Hhm. Teagan Grace Eaton. Yes, that's the one.

"Yes, that definitely is our little Peanut's name," I say getting choked up.

"Aren't you going to do that shout test you did with Tessa's name?" he says with a sparkle in his eyes.

"Teagan Grace Eaton, you stop that right now," I yell and we both start laughing. "Yes, that's definitely the one. We just named our daughter." Tobias leans over and puts his lips on mine for a tender heartfelt kiss then moves them to my swollen abdomen and kisses our growing baby.

"Hey, Teagan Grace," he says as he runs his hands over my bare stomach. "Can you let Mommy and Daddy know if you like your name?" Almost immediately I feel her dancing around inside me, and tears of joy wet my cheeks.

"I think she likes it," I say putting my hands over his and moving them lower. He gasps and looks up at me with an expression of absolute amazement. I recognize that look. It's the same wondrous expression I must have had on my face when I first felt her move. I've been trying to let him feel her moving around for the past couple of weeks ever since I felt her from the outside but she would still every time he put his hands on me then start moving again once he would walk away. He started calling her our little tease instead of Peanut.

"I felt her move," he says with awe in his strained voice, tears gathering in his eyes. I sit up a little straighter and grin stupidly at him. "Oh, she moving again!" I laugh with him for a moment as tears slide down both our cheeks.

"I told you she likes her name," I say. "I'm so glad you finally got to feel her."

"I am, too," he says. He sits up, and his mouth lands on mine. His kiss is reverent and love-filled at first but then it subtly changes becoming carnal and need-filled.

"Up for round two, baby?" I scan his body when he releases me and breathlessly say with a giggle, "Oh, I can see that you are."

I reach up and cup the back of his head and once again pull his lips to mine. I kiss him slowly, thoroughly then thrust my tongue deep into his skilled mouth and mate it leisurely with his. He tightly wraps his arms around me and pulls me down on top of him then turns us so we are lying on our sides, tangled up in each other's arms.

"Here or back at the lighthouse?" he breathlessly asks once we come up for much-needed air.

"Both," I murmur against the sensitive skin beneath his right ear. I feel his manhood lengthen and harden even more against my hip at my words, and an involuntary moan escapes my parted lips.

"Both?" he murmurs, shaking his head. "You are insatiable, Mrs. Eaton."

"You better believe I am, Mr. Eaton," I say pulling his mouth back to mine for a long, slow, drugging kiss. I now know what the reference _Drunk on You_ means … he thoroughly intoxicates me. I find myself squirming almost nonstop against his body with uncontrollable desire. I push him onto his back and straddle his hips, surprising him. I sigh as I slowly grind my hips against his, feeling his massive length beneath me. I lift myself off him, firmly grasp his erection in my small hand, and say, "I want you now." I place him at my entrance and ease myself down onto every hard inch. I toss my head back when we're one and relish the feeling of having him where I want him most, deep inside of me, and he lets out a satisfied groan.

I slowly rotate my hips first one way and then the next, making more room within my depths for his sizable girth then set a hypnotic in-and-out pace. He lets his hands slowly travel from where they're resting on my hips up my body and to gently cover my swaying, engorged breasts, rhythmically caressing them. I close my eyes as I repeatedly push myself back on his steel hard shaft, enjoying the feeling of our bodies once again moving as one. I lean forward and rest my hands on his upper chest making sure my tummy isn't in the way and increase the pace of our intensely powerful mutual thrusts. He captures one breast in his mouth and teases my aching nipple with his hot, wet tongue.

"Oh, Tobias," I moan. "You feel so good inside me. I love you so much." He lifts his mouth to mine for a quick kiss, and I taste my sweet milk on his tongue then he takes my other nipple in his expert mouth causing a spasm of pure pleasure where our bodies are joined. He moves his hands back to my hips and takes over our pace, thrusting wildly into me as I rock back just as enthusiastically on his shaft.

"Tris," he gasps loudly moving us closer to shared fulfillment, our breath coming in short, heated pants. "Shit!"

" _Oh_ , _God!_ " I yell as I explode around his pistoning length causing him to tense and release himself inside my depths. We continue crashing into one another until the last ounce of pleasure is wrung out of each of our bodies then I collapse, spent, on top of him. Not wanting to hurt the baby, he immediately turns us so that we're lying on our sides still joined. We gaze into each other's eyes while we let our breathing return to normal. I can't help myself, and I yawn widely.

"I better get you back to the lighthouse," he says. "You're exhausted." I feel his lips grazing my shoulder, and I shudder at the contact.

"As much as I hate to admit it, you're right," I say, putting both hands on either side of his face. Between making love three times today and swimming, all I really want right now is to sleep. "I love you, Tobias Eaton, so much. How did I get so lucky?"

"I'm the lucky one," he says with a warm smile on his lips and an erotic look in his eyes, which causes me to blush. "You're the most beautiful woman, Beatrice Eaton, and I'm so glad you're mine. I love you so much." He gives me a tender kiss then pulls out of me leaving me empty and longing for more. He reaches for my dress and hands it to me. I pull it on over my head forgoing my bra and pull on my underwear while he drags his jeans up his body and fastens them. We finish dressing, gather up our picnic, and walk hand-in-hand back to the antique pickup truck that we borrowed from the lighthouse, which blends in with the other Amity vehicles better than our sleek new car. I slide across the faded vinyl bench seat and put my head on his shoulder. He puts his arm around me and pulls me close to his side. I try my best to keep my eyes open and enjoy the ride back to the lighthouse but the strenuous activities of the day win out, and I surrender to the darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

When I drag my heavy eyelids open, I'm surprised to find myself lying naked next to Tobias in the massive bed in the middle of the moonlit bedroom at the top of the lighthouse. I don't remember climbing the seven flights of stairs when we got back from our outing to the pond. Actually, the last thing I remember was snuggling up close to him in the cab of the pickup truck and promptly falling asleep. He must have carried me all the way up here. That probably explains the light snoring coming from his side of the bed at the moment. I sit up and slide my feet to the cool floor, my bladder threatening to burst, and head down one flight to the living room/kitchen/bathroom part of the suite. After I take care of my needs, a bittersweet melancholy washes over me. We only have a few more precious hours of our "honeymoon" left, and suddenly I'm feeling amorous again.

I tiptoe up the cold metal stairs and across the white oak wide plank wooden floor that seems washed out in the moon's pale white light that's bathing the room and slide into bed beside my husband. I stare down at this gorgeous man who I still have a hard time believing is mine for a moment, taking in every inch of his perfect form with my roaming eyes, wondering if what's going through my head is really a good idea. He needs his sleep but I'm in the mood, which is nothing new. It seems like I'm in the mood 24 hours a day lately. I battle with myself for a couple minutes but my unrelenting lascivious libido wins out. I reach out and run my fingertips lightly up his arm from his hand, which is resting on his taut abs to his strong shoulders causing him to moan softly. A smile turns up his lips but he doesn't stir. I lean over and place soft kisses below his sensitive right ear, and I see his eyelids flutter a couple times before his tired eyes find mine. We gaze at each other for a long moment, not saying a word. We just stare into the adoring face of the person we love most in this world.

"Hi," I finally say.

"Hello," he replies, cupping the back of my head with his large hand, drawing my mouth to his for a tender kiss. "Can I help you with something?" I take his hand and kiss the palm letting my tongue slip through my lips and tease him, never taking my eyes off his. He groans.

"Well, you see, I have this ... _ache_ ," I say, looking at him through my lashes.

"An ache, Mrs. Eaton? Is it serious?" he asks, sounding somber but I see his eyes dancing in the moonlight.

"Oh yes, Mr. Eaton, it's the gravest of situations," I tease back. "Do you think you can help me with it?"

"I think that can be arranged," he says. He moves so fast. One minute I'm staring into his shining, humorous dark blue eyes, and the next his lips are moving with mine with an urgency that takes my breath away.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep earlier. You know I wanted more," I pant as he trails kisses from the side of my mouth down to my left ear. _Oh, God!_ He knows what he's doing. I feel each caress in my belly ... deep, deep in my belly. " _Tobias_." It comes out barely above a whisper sounding like I'm begging. He concentrates solely on my ear; he traces every curve with the very tip of his hot, wet tongue, bites the lobe almost painfully, sucks lightly on the extra sensitive spot just beneath the ear, and kisses every millimeter of flesh. My breathing comes quicker and quicker with each ministration, and I twist the bedsheets with my fists. I suddenly realize that he doesn't have his hands on me, just his capable mouth.

"Do you want to come for me, Tris?" he asks, his lips pressed right up against my sensitive ear, his seductive voice thick with lust. I react to his words and slip over the edge of some impossibly high summit. My muscles tighten deliciously, and my entire body quivers with its release. When I become aware of my still passion-clouded reality, I can tell that he's smiling against my skin, proud of his accomplishment. I open my eyes, unaware that I had closed them, and find him gazing lovingly down at me. "God, how I love it when you come. You're the most beautiful creature on this planet, and I can't believe you're all mine." He slowly lowers his mouth to mine, claiming it like it's some grand prize to be coveted. His tongue expertly strokes mine, and I feel the beginnings of yet another explosion flame in the pit of my stomach.

When he starts kissing his way from my chin to my neck, I breathlessly say, "Maybe I want to see you come now." His head shoots up and our eyes lock. A sly grin turns up his lips, and he moves so that he is hovering over me.

"You want to see me come?" he asks, his desire-glazed eyes twinkling.

"Yeah," I breathe, putting a bright smile on my face trying to hide my concern. "I always worry about you." He groans and shakes his head.

"Tris, love," he sighs, "how many times do I have to tell you, I get all the pleasure in the world from just kissing you … being near you … being inside you … watching you come … _feeling_ you come. I don't need an orgasm to be satisfied."

"But it doesn't hurt though, right?" I ask as I reach up and cup the back of his head. "Tonight, in this bed, we're equals, Tobias Eaton. I come ... you come." I pull his mouth to mine and kiss him fervently.

"If that's what you want, who am I to argue?" he breathlessly says when we break apart.

"It's about time you stop arguing with me on this subject," I say, kissing his neck. "Are you ready, baby?" I push him until he's lying on his back on my left side so I have unfettered access to the sensitive right side of his neck. I press myself into his side, adjusting my body to make room for my expanding abdomen. My lips first find his, and I kiss him hungrily. I glide my tongue across his bottom lip, and he opens his mouth for me. He sighs when I thrust my tongue into his waiting mouth and make love to it. When we can no longer breathe, I drag the tip of my tongue to his right ear, dropping wet kisses as I go. I feel his hand leisurely roaming my body not sure of its destination quite yet. I place my small hand over his heart, feeling its rapid pace and slowly move it over the hard plains of his chest, down the tightness of his lean abdomen to his hard, virile masculinity. I wrap my glove-like fist around his impressive length and begin a gentle stroking rhythm as I kiss, lick, and suck all around his reactive ear. He responds to my hand by bucking his hips upward on each downward stroke, and I reward him by firming my grip and quickening the pace.

"Oh, God, Tris," he pants. When his throbbing manhood swells in my fist, I can tell that the sensation overload is about to be too much for him. "I'm gonna come, love." I drag my teeth down his earlobe, bite it playfully, and then release it. I lean over him, staring into his twisted face as I increase the tempo of my hand once again. I watch his face contort further with the painful pleasure of his release, coming all over his stomach and chest and my hand. I lower my mouth and scatter kisses all over his beautiful face while I continue the rhythm of my fist until he releases himself fully. I finally slow and then stop. I see the panties he took off of me Friday afternoon lying at the head of the bed so I grab them. I see that he's watching me closely with a reverent look on his handsome face as I clean us off then toss the underwear to the floor.

"What?" I ask.

"You are amazing on so many levels, do you know that? You're the most wonderful woman in the world," he says. "I often wonder how I got so lucky." I lean up and place my lips to his, and he moves us so that he's half lying on me, making sure that my growing tummy is in the clear.

"You're so sweet," I say against his lips. "I'm the lucky one though."

"We're _both_ lucky," he says before deepening our kiss. "So, love, are you ready for me to take care of you again?" His eyes are glazed over with lust, and he smiles brightly at me. I shyly smile up at him, and he runs his tongue along my bottom lip after his mouth touches mine. I sigh and he takes advantage of my parted lips and pushes his tongue into my open mouth. After we let our tongues tangle intimately, I capture it between my lips and gently suck on it. He drags his moist lips to the hollow in my neck and slowly starts kissing every inch of first one naked collarbone and then the next. I move my hands to trace the muscles of his back with my fingertips as he moves to my aching chest. He covers one breast with his hand, massaging and caressing the full, firm flesh as his mouth lands on the other, capturing the hard, distended nipple between his lips. I arch my back trying to get closer to his hot mouth and magic hand, and a low moan escapes from the back of my throat.

"Oh, God, Tobias," I murmur. I run my fingers through his hair and pull him closer to my body, relishing the feel of his mouth, hands, and skin on mine. He removes his hand from my breast and promptly takes the throbbing nipple into his mouth, sucking, licking, and biting it a little harder than he normally does, making me squirm beneath him. " _Please, baby_." He releases my breasts and continues his descent to my expanded abdomen. He kisses every inch, murmuring words of love to our daughter, then moves down further.

"You ready, love?" I prop myself up on my elbows so that I can see his eyes and nod since I'm unable to speak around my frantic breathing. He spreads my legs further, and I suddenly find myself holding my breath while he kisses first one thigh and then the next. He has that cocky grin on his face when he darts his tongue out of his mouth and licks straight up my entrance. I blow the breath out and drag in another one, anticipating his next move but he surprises me again by thrusting his tongue inside me as far as he can then moving it in and out slowly. I grasp his hair with my fingers and pull him as close as I can, then he moves his wet, hot tongue up to my throbbing nubbin and circles it slowly. My hips buck forward toward his mouth of their own accord, and he moves his arms around my legs, holding me firmly in place as he really goes to work on me. He caresses my nubbin with his tongue then sucks on it hard for a couple seconds before drawing it between his teeth and nibbling on it gently then starts the routine all over again. On his fourth cycle, I come harder than I have in a long time but he doesn't stop. He keeps up the sequence and inserts two fingers into my dripping womanhood, rapidly thrusting them in-and-out at just the right angle to make me explode a second time collapsing back on the bed.

"TTTOOOBBBIIIAAASSS!" I scream out at the top of my lungs but he still doesn't stop. He keeps going until I arch completely off the bed and spasm uncontrollably around his pounding fingers. "Stop, _please_. No more. I can't take anymore." I try to push his head away but I'm too exhausted but he stops when I beg him to and kisses his way back up my still shuddering body.

"I love you," he says in my ear. One hand is playing with my hair while the other is systematically worshipping every inch of my body. I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out. When he looks down into my eyes, I see that cocky grin of his, and I can't help but giggle and roll my eyes.

"You're so … damn proud … of yourself … aren't you?" I pant.

"Oh, you know I am, love," he says, his eyes shining. He lowers his lips to mine. I'm still too tired to lift my arms but I kiss him back with everything I have.

"Are you trying to kill me?" I ask still gasping for breath.

"You know better than that," he says. "Should we get some more sleep?"

"I'm not tired," I say even though it's a boldface lie. I'm absolutely exhausted. "You know you've created a monster, baby."

"I know I have," he says, laughing out loud. I finally find that my arms are working again so I pull his mouth to mine and kiss him slowly, letting the passion build once again. I push on his chest, and he rolls us onto our sides. When we come up for air, I push him onto his back and start kissing his neck then start my way down his body. I stop at my tattooed name, which overlies his heart and trace it with the very tip of my tongue like I've done numerous times, and he moans loudly.

"God, I love your body," I say as I kiss my way down his chiseled chest to his tightly beaded nipples. "You take such good care of yourself." I circle the bud with my tongue before taking it between my lips and sucking it deeply into my mouth. I nibble on the protrusion then capture the other throbbing peak between my lips and give it the same attention until he's groaning uncontrollably. "Do you like that?" He moans softly, and I smile around the nipple I'm teasing. "I love you, baby." I slide further down his body placing wet kisses here and there before diving my tongue into his naval, French kissing it like I do his mouth. I slide my hand down to his rigid manhood that is lying across his tight, flat belly and wrap my fingers around it. I stroke his length as I look into his face. "Tobias, I want you to look at me." He drags his eyes open, and I've never seen them as black as they are right now … black with desire for _me_. I suck in a sharp breath at that knowledge.

I keep my eyes on his and deliberately dart my tongue out of my mouth and slowly lick my lips. I notice his mouth drops open, and he starts panting loudly. I lightly lick up and down his straining sex several times then run my tongue along the sensitive ridge around the head before enthusiastically sucking him deeply into my mouth. I repeat these actions again and again then set up a coordinated rhythm between my hand, mouth, and tongue never taking my eyes off of his. He collapses back on the mattress when I increase the pressure and pace on his manhood with my mouth and hand. When I feel him swell further, I know he won't last much longer. I suck him harder still, and he explodes into my mouth, bucking his hips toward my mouth again and again as he releases himself fully. I finally release him, and he practically drags me up his body and kisses me fiercely.

"You are…" he says breathing heavily, shaking his head. It seems like he is unable to finish his thought. He kisses me ferociously once again, and I melt into him. "I love you so much. I need to be inside you, Tris. I don't think I can wait one more minute." I don't need to ask if he's ready or not because I can feel his steel-like rod pressing into my flesh.

"How do you want me, baby?" I ask, panting between overwhelmingly passionate kisses.

"Hands and knees," he roughly says, his voice full of promise. He moves out of my way, and I comply with his wishes turning over and getting on all fours in front of him. I look at him over my shoulder and watch as he runs his hands all over my body, worshipping me.

"I love you, Tobias," I whisper, emotion robbing me of my voice.

"I love you, too, Tris. God you're so beautiful," he says as he slowly sinks into me. "So tight."

" _Oh_ ," I moan, closing my eyes. There it is, that feeling of fullness that I love so much, the feeling that only he can give me. He wraps his body around mine and first kisses my Abnegation tattoo, then the Dauntless flame sending shivers down my spine. Then he starts to move. We find the perfect slow rhythm as I rock back to meet each of his stimulating thrusts. I cry out his name over and over as we increase our pace marginally. He drapes his body over mine and snakes his hand between my legs so that he can circle my throbbing nubbin with a callused finger. His other hand massages my aching breast, and I momentarily wonder how he manages to keep up the frenzied pace in this position but soon find myself forgetting everything as he leans back, puts his hands on my hips, and starts pounding into me relentlessly. "Oh, God. _Tobias_. Oh, God. _Tobias_." This has become my litany.

He leans over me, never slowing his slamming thrusts and kisses the back of my neck then puts his mouth on my left ear and says, "Come for me baby." It's amazing the power he has over me and my body. I explode around his invading shaft at his command, shattering into a million pieces. When he feels me clench down on his still hammering length, he groans in blissful agony releasing himself into my tight depths. We collapse together onto our sides still joined as one. The room is silent except for the sound of our short, raspy gasps.

"Oh, God, that was so good, baby," I pant trying to catch my breath.

"Do you have any idea how much I love making love to you?" he asks, kissing the back of my neck. "I swear I would live inside you if I could."

" _Tobias Eaton!_ " I squeal. "You're terrible."

"Just a minute ago you told me I was good," he says with a chuckle. "Make up your mind." I move myself off him, turn in his arms, and meet his loving gaze then pull his mouth to mine and kiss him deeply. I wrap my arms around his neck, holding myself close to him.

"I love you, Tobias," I say, running a hand up and down his hairless muscular chest. "I want to thank you for planning this weekend for us. It's been absolutely perfect. I couldn't have asked for a nicer end to our honeymoon."

"I love you, too, Tris, and you are very welcome," he says giving me a soft, tender kiss. "Is it selfish to want to get away just the two of us from time to time?"

"I don't think so," I say.

"Don't get me wrong, I love Tyler and Tessa more than anything … well with one exception … and I've missed them more than I thought I would these past three days but we need time to be Tris and Tobias instead of Mommy and Daddy. We can't forget that."

"Don't beat yourself up for wanting to be alone with me," I say. "I feel the exact same way. I love our growing family but I love spending time with my husband, just the two of us. I think you know that."

"Oh, I know that," he says, tenderly kissing my lips.

"Maybe you can show me again how much you like spending time with me," I say. He grins down at me and proceeds to make sweet, slow love to me once again.


	3. Chapter 3

After taking a much-needed nap this morning, Tobias and I made love one last time before saying goodbye to the intimate suite at the top of the lighthouse bed and breakfast that we have come to love so much. We had such a wonderful weekend just the two of us. I couldn't have asked for more. I'm committing every second of our impromptu getaway to mind as we head toward Abnegation, adding them to the already stored memories from our earlier honeymoon.

"Earth to Tris," Tobias says. "Where were you, love?" I can feel heat rise to flood my cheeks as I turn to look at him. He grins and shakes his head. "God, I love that blush. I guess I don't need to ask what you're thinking about."

"I was just thinking about all the wonderful time we spent together at the lighthouse," I say. "We should do that more often."

"I couldn't agree with you more," he says picking up our joined hands off his knee where they've been resting since we left Amity, placing soft kisses on the back of each finger. "I meant what I said earlier about needing to remember to be 'us' once in a while and not just Mommy and Daddy but don't think that I don't love our children. They, along with you, are my life. I never thought I wanted kids until I found you, and now I don't know what I would do without them."

"I know what you mean," I say. "And of course I know you adore the kids just as much as I do." At the mention of Tyler and Tessa, I realize just how much I've been missing them both. Of course, Tobias and I called Mom and Dad daily to check on them while we were gone and talk to Tyler but it's not the same as being with them. I can't wait to wrap my arms around Tyler, give him a big hug and kiss, and tell him how much I've missed him and hold Tessa close and kiss her soft, budding curls. Thankfully, within minutes, we pull up in front of my parents' simple home in Abnegation, and I barely wait for Tobias to stop at the curb before I jump out of the car and hurry up the short gray concrete sidewalk to the front door.

"Hi, Mom," I say when she opens the door to let us in. I give her a big hug, and Tobias places a sweet kiss on her cheek. "Thank you so much for watching the kids for us this weekend. We really appreciate it. I hope they weren't too much trouble."

"They were no trouble at all. We loved having them here," she says. "Tessa is down for her nap, and Tyler is in the front room with your father." Tobias and I walk down the narrow hallway into their living room but surprisingly Tyler doesn't notice our arrival. He's sitting on Dad's lap absorbed in the storybook that he's listening to. I look up over my shoulder at Tobias and see a huge smile on his face as he watches our son who looks very content right now. He wraps his arm around my shoulder, and I reach up and take ahold of his hand. We listen for a few minutes before Tyler looks up and notices us standing here. Disregarding the remainder of the story, he jumps down off of Dad's lap and runs to me. I scoop him up in my arms and hold him close.

"Mommy!" he happily says as he wraps his arms tightly around my neck and squeezes hard, nearly choking me. "I miss you _so_ much."

"I missed you too, buddy," I say as I place kisses all over the side of his face. I stop when he starts wriggling in my arms. "Did you have fun with Grandma and Grandpa?"

"Yeah!" he brightly says but then his face falls slightly. I recognize that face.

"Did you get in trouble while we were gone?" I ask.

"Yeah," he says bowing his head. Oh, that's new. He must have picked that up being around my parents and my old faction. "I wun in the house. I fowget." He sounds so forlorn.

"You need to do a better job of remembering. You know you're not supposed to run in the house. But just because little boys get in trouble doesn't mean their Mommy stops loving them or their Daddy, Grandma, or Grandpa for that matter. It just means we're trying to make you the best little boy you can be. Did you tell Grandma and Grandpa that you were sorry?"

"I did," he says.

"You're such a good boy," I say. "Mommy loves you very, very much."

"Love you, Mommy," he says giving me a sloppy wet kiss right on the mouth then one of his signature bear hugs.

"Guess what, buddy," Tobias says. Tyler looks his way and holds his arms out to him, and I relinquish him to his father who hugs him tightly. "Mommy and I decided on a name for your sister. Would you like to hear what it is?" I see my parents' ears perk up at this news. Tobias and I didn't talk about telling people the name we chose but I'm happy to let them in on the secret.

"You change Tess name?" Tyler asks so confused. I try really hard not to laugh at his statement but a chuckle escapes my lips anyway.

"No, no, buddy," Tobias says with an amused smile on his face. "Tessa will always be Tessa. I'm talking about the baby in Mommy's tummy."

"Oh!" he says. "What hew name?" Tobias sits down on the couch, and I join them.

"Well Daddy and I decided to name her Teagan Grace," I say.

"Tea … gan," Tyler says. He's quiet for a while and none of us say anything, letting this new information sink in. I glance at my Mom who is now sitting in her chair, and she smiles brightly at me.

"So what do you think, buddy?" Tobias asks.

"I like it," he finally says. "It weally pwetty."

"I'm glad you think so," I say.

"It's a beautiful name, Beatrice," Mom says.

"I agree," Dad says. "It sounds really nice alongside Tyler and Tessa."

"Thanks, Mom, Dad," I say. "It was my favorite name this time but Four gave her Grace as a middle name." I hear Tessa start to cry, and I automatically get up then realize I don't know where she's been napping. "Where is she? I'll go get her."

"She's in our room," Mom says with a warm smile.

"Thanks," I say then make my way up the narrow staircase and into my parent's familiar unadorned bedroom. My baby girl is lying in the middle of the travel crib we brought with us when we dropped them off, wailing at the top of her lungs.

"Hey, little one. Are you hungry?" The minute she hears my voice she rolls over onto her back, stops crying, and grins from ear to ear, taking my breath away. "You're a beauty aren't you? Maybe you're not hungry after all. Maybe you're just lonely up here all by yourself. Did you miss your mommy and daddy?" I pick her up, peppering kisses all over her little head the whole time then hold her close to my chest but she just gazes into my face with a grin on her lips. After a couple minutes of just staring at my gorgeous daughter, I check her diaper and quickly change her before taking her downstairs. "Mom, when did Tessa last eat?"

"Oh, almost three hours ago," she says, looking at the clock on the wall. I sit next to Tobias and Tyler, and she smiles at them also.

"Hi, Tess," Tyler says as he leans over and gives her a kiss on the head. She laughs out loud when she sees him coming, and we all freeze. "You laugh at me?" She giggles again and Tobias puts his arm around me and pulls us close to his side.

"Are you happy to see us, Pebbles?" he asks. "Mommy and Daddy sure missed you."

"You miss me, too?" Tyler asks with a pout.

"Of course, we missed you," Tobias says at the same time that I say, "More than you know."

"Has she been laughing like that all weekend?" I ask Mom and Dad, getting misty eyed.

"No, that's the first time she did that," Mom says. Good! I hate missing her firsts. "She's been smiling a lot and cooing some but this is the first time I've heard her laugh."

"She's growing so fast," I say, wiping the tear that escapes down my cheek. "I can't believe she's 10 weeks old already."

"You just wait until she's 17, married, has two kids, and is expecting another one in a few months then you _really_ won't be able to believe it," Dad says, returning my warm smile.

"How are you doing, Dad?" It's only been a little over three weeks since his second head injury and the minimally invasive procedure to fix the leaking aneurysm in his brain, and he's not back to his old self quite yet. He's cranky, forgetful, short tempered, and at times even standoffish, which is totally out of character for him. Dr. Wilson won't let him return to work until Choosing Day where his presence is mandatory due to his seat at the head of the council, and he's been on edge not knowing what to do with himself. Mom hoped that spending some time with the kids would help his outlook, and I think that it might have by the look on his face.

"I'm feeling better each day, Beatrice," he says. "It's been slow going but I'm just glad to still be here."

"We're all happy about that, Andrew," Tobias says. "I hope the kids weren't too much trouble for you. I know Tyler can be a bit rambunctious at times." I see Tyler look at Tobias like, who me?

"They weren't any trouble whatsoever, and it was a pleasure to have them here all weekend," he says. "We would be happy to watch them anytime you want us to. It's nice to have children around the house. It makes me feel young again."

"What are you saying, Andrew, that you're old?" Mom asks. "We're the same age, and I'm not old." He chuckles sounding more like his old self for the first time in weeks.

"You, my dear, look just as lovely as you did the day I married you," he says. "There isn't anything about you that's old but you have to admit that watching Tyler and Tessa brought back some wonderful memories, didn't it?"

"It sure has," she says. The look on both their faces makes it seem like they forgot that Tobias, the kids, and I are sitting here, and I feel like I'm intruding on a private moment.

"I hate to cut this visit short but we better get going," Tobias says, apparently feeling as awkward as I am. "I have several phone calls to make when we get home, and I have to do it before close of business."

"We understand," Dad says.

"Say goodbye to Grandma and Grandpa, Tyler," I say as I get up off the couch. He gets off of Tobias' lap and gives hugs and kisses then comes back to us, remembering not to run. While Mom and Dad help me get the kids into the car, Tobias gathers up the travel crib, bottles, and diaper bag and put them in the trunk.

"Thanks again for watching the kids for us," Tobias says, shaking Dad's hand while I'm hugging my mom. "We really appreciate it."

"We were happy to do it, Four," Mom says. "It's always nice to see our grandkids. Any time you need a sitter please think of us." Tobias, Tyler, and I say our final goodbyes and wave as we pull away from my parent's house, and before we make it out of Abnegation, Tyler and Tessa are both sound asleep.

"Who do you have to call when we get home?" I ask.

"Will, Tori, Harrison, Uriah, and Christina," he says. "I still have a lot to do before next week."

"I thought we were good to go for initiation," I say.

"We are for the most part," he says. "I'll feel more confident after one last meeting with Uriah and Christina finalizing the schedule. I'm also turning the reigns over to Tori and Will because I don't want to pull double duty the next few weeks so I have a lot to go over with them. Plus I need to schedule a briefing on what happened while we were gone. It shouldn't take me very long."

"Maybe we shouldn't have went away this weekend," I say, suddenly feeling guilty.

"Don't say that," he says, shaking his head. "We needed to get away from the monotony of every day and the stress of initiation preparation. Plus I owed you a few days away. Work will always come second to you, our marriage, and our children. It just means I have to work harder the rest of the week but I'm fine with that as long as you are."

"Of course, I am," I say. "I'm proud of how hard you work for Dauntless. I'm also proud of all the changes you've implemented. You're doing such a great job, Tobias. I love you."

"Thank you but you know it's been a team effort," he says. He looks in the rearview mirror as we pull up in front of the Pire and says, "They're both still out. I'll carry Tyler up to his room while you take Tessa in then I'll get the stuff out of the trunk after I park it in the garage." He leans across the empty space between us and places his lips against mine and kisses me softly. "I love you, too." He briefly kisses me again before we get the kids out of the car and carry them up to our apartment. Tobias takes Tyler straight up the stairs to his room while I sit down on the couch holding Tessa as she peacefully naps knowing she will be hungry when she wakes up, which should be any minute. "I'll be right back, love."

"Take your time," I whisper. He kisses my forehead then Tessa's and heads toward the door. "Hey, are you coming back here to make your calls or going to your office?"

"I'll come back here," he says. "I'll see you soon." Just as he closes the door behind himself, Tessa's eyes flutter open. Her little lips form a perfect "O" as she yawns widely then she starts crying. I put my finger up to her mouth, and she grabs onto it and starts suckling.

"My poor girl. I didn't mean to make you wait so long. Mommy's sorry," I say as I put her to my breast. She latches onto my nipple and nurses vigorously. "I sure did miss you, little one. I think you missed me, too." I watch her while she eats and wonder what it will be like when Teagan joins our family. Will I have enough time for Tyler, Tessa, and Teagan, too? Will I have enough time for Tobias? Should I go back to work? Should I stay at home with the kids? Would I be fulfilled without my work? Is it selfish to want to work? Is it selfish to want to stay at home? Is our apartment big enough for the five of us? What if we decide we want more children? What happens if there's another accidental pregnancy? "Are you ready to have a little sister when you're still just a baby?" She just smiles up at me with her eyes and continues nursing. The apartment door opening pulls me from my reverie, and I smile Tobias. I watch as he walks in, deposits the bags on the island, sets the travel crib in front of the stairway, and puts the bottles in the fridge.

"Hey, love," he says as he sits on the couch. He gives me a kiss on the temple, puts his arm around me, and proceeds to make all his calls. I tune out his conversations and concentrate on feeding Tessa.

"Your Dad seemed really good today," he says when he finishes up on the phone.

"He did, didn't he? I'm glad he's getting back to his old self," I say. "I've been worried about him."

"I know," he says. "You've seemed restless about it. Try not to worry too much."

"I know. It's not good for Peanut," I say. "I'll try not to worry." He smiles at me.

"Do you think we'll always call Teagan Peanut?" he asks me.

"Probably," I say. "That's the very first name we gave her."

"You're right," he says. I put Tessa up to my shoulder and pat her back after she loses interest in nursing.

"Hey, Pebbles. Did you finally get your tummy full?" he asks when she burps loudly.

"She sure did," I say. "I'm going to start supper. Does anything sound good?"

"Yeah," he says, his eyes brightening. "How about your delicious lasagna? We haven't had that for a while."

"I think we have everything I need," I say. "Here, take Tessa."

"Come to Daddy," he says as I hand her to him. While I'm in the kitchen gathering all the ingredients I'll need for the meal, I listen to Tobias talk to Tessa. I don't know who's laughing more. Soon Tyler comes down from his nap and joins the chorus of peals. I can't help myself, I sneak a couple of pictures without any of them noticing then I have them pose for one, which I'll have to frame. Shortly before the timer goes off indicating that supper is ready, I make a Caesar salad and garlic bread and cut up some fresh fruit.

"Supper's ready," I say. Tobias puts Tessa in her swing and lifts Tyler up into his booster seat while I put the lasagna, salad, fruit, and bread onto our plates and set them on the island. When I sit down next to Tobias, I notice a little black box next to my plate, and I narrow my eyes at him. He knows how I feel about gifts. "What's this?"

"That fwom me," Tyler happily says. I look his way, and he's wearing a huge smile on his face.

"It's from you?" I ask, stunned. He nods his head eagerly.

"Open, open!" he says excitedly. I flip the lid on the little black box and smile at the new charm for my bracelet. "Do you like?" I look at the delicate little platinum heart charm with the inscription "I love you to the moon and back" and know that I will cherish it forever.

"I love it, Tyler," I say, leaning over and kissing his head. "That was very thoughtful of you to get this for me but what's the occasion?"

"None! I see'd it and thought it was weally pwetty. Daddy tell me what it say. It what you say to me! Daddy let me buy it fo you."

"I will proudly put this on my bracelet," I say, "and every time I look at it I will think of you. I love you, buddy."

"I love you, Mommy," he says wrapping his arms around me and giving me a big hug. I put the box aside and finish my lasagna, which Hana taught me to make and enjoy supper with my family. Just as I'm finishing, Tessa starts fussing again.

"You take care of her, and I'll clean up the kitchen," Tobias says.

"Thanks," I say, leaning over and giving him a quick peck on the lips. I kiss Tyler's head and put him on his feet as I pass him and take Tessa out of the swing. "You can't be hungry again already, can you?" The minute I pick her up she quiets down. She's getting so spoiled. I change her then we sit down on the couch.

"Movie?" Tyler excitedly asks as he crawls up on the couch next to Tessa and me.

"Why don't you pick one out, and Daddy will put it in when he finishes in the kitchen," I say. He jumps down off the couch and goes to the shelves of kids' movies and stares at them for the longest time trying to make up his mind. I hold my breath hoping that he doesn't pick _Cars_ or any of its sequels when he brings Tobias the movie.

" _Madagascar_?" Tobias says. "Have we seen this before, buddy?"

"No," he says, his face so serious. "We watch it now, otay?"

"Sounds good to me," I say. I meet Tobias' eyes, and we breathe a collective sigh of relief. Neither of us want to watch _Cars_ ever again. He winks at me before putting the movie in. We all sit side-by-side on the couch, thoroughly enjoying the unfamiliar animated film. About halfway through, Tobias serves us popcorn and freshly squeezed lemonade, which is very refreshing. After the end credits, he carries Tyler, who is fighting sleep, upstairs to put him to bed, and I start feeding Tessa.

"He's sound asleep," he says when he comes back downstairs. He sits beside me, and we both once again watch as our daughter nurses.

"Everything about tonight was perfect: the meal, the movie, the company," I say. "I'm so glad we're home. I didn't know how much I missed the kids."

"I had a great time tonight watching the movie with you and Tyler. I didn't realize it would be so funny. He was so excited to give you the heart charm for your bracelet that he bought before our trip. He begged me to let him give it to you. Supper was superb but then again it always is when you cook," he says snuggling in close to me, kissing my neck. "But I know how we can make it even better. Come find me when you put her to bed." He puts his lips on mine and gives me a lingering erotic kiss that leaves me breathless then gets up and disappears up the stairs.

"Your father is a bit of a tease, little one," I say. My thoughts drift to our eventful morning while Tessa continues to nurse. About half-an-hour later she's gotten her fill, and I take her upstairs to put her to bed. After changing her diaper and putting her in a sleeper, I kiss her forehead and lie her in her crib. I switch on the baby monitor then head across the hallway and check on Tyler. I kiss his temple and tuck him in then go into the bathroom, anticipation growing by the moment. I take a quick shower and brush my teeth then head into the bedroom. I slip between the sheets and slide up against Tobias' naked body. I wrap my arms around him and recognize the smooth rise and fall of his chest. "Seriously?! You fell asleep." He doesn't stir, and I can't help but chuckle. I slide out of bed, unlock and open the door, and slip into one of his old t-shirts then get back into bed. I snuggle close to him, putting my leg over his and kiss his neck, and he moans lowly. "Good night, Tobias. I love you."


	4. Chapter 4

"Good morning, baby," I say as I softly pad up behind Tobias who is standing at the stove putting together a bacon and three cheese breakfast casserole to go into the oven. I wrap my arms around his waist, splay my fingers out on his muscular naked chest, and kiss his Dauntless and Abnegation tattoos. "Did you sleep well?"

"After I got back to sleep, I did," he says looking down at me over his shoulder with that cocky grin of his and I blush at the memory of our enthusiastic lovemaking last night. He woke me up shortly after I fell asleep, kissing his way down my nearly naked body, and we didn't get back to sleep for at least two hours. He turns in my arms and gives me a gentle good morning kiss, and I sway against him. "Are you okay?" His look goes from erotic and stimulating to serious and concerned in a split second.

"I'm fine. I promise," I say putting a suggestive smile on my face. "It's just you and your kissing skills. You take my breath away … literally." He narrows his eyes at me, and I groan and rest my forehead against his chest. "I'm a little dizzy this morning but I'm sure it's just because I'm hungry."

"Sit down and I'll bring you a glass of orange juice and maybe make you some toast," he says kissing the top of my head, ever the caretaker.

"I love you, Tobias" I say as I go up on my tiptoes and pull his mouth back to mine. He indulges me, kissing me gently for a moment then backs away with a groan.

"I love you, too, Tris. Now please go sit down." He points to the living room. "I'll bring you the juice and toast when it's ready." I'd much rather stay right where I am, pressed up against his warm body, kissing him but I relent and give in to his whim and sit on the couch, tucking my legs underneath me. After I've been resting for about 10 minutes, he brings me some wheat toast spread with a thick layer of crunchy peanut butter, a handful of dried fruit and almonds, and a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice.

"What do you have planned for today?" I ask as I take a bite of toast.

"I have a meeting with Tori, Will, and Harrison," he says. "What about you?"

"I have to go to the infirmary and have my blood pressure checked this morning since I missed yesterday. I don't want Isobel yelling at me," I say and we both chuckle knowing she would do exactly that if I were to miss another appointment. "This afternoon I thought I would drop the kids off at the daycare center for a couple hours and hit the punching bags."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" he asks. "How about we call Zander and see if someone can come here to check your blood pressure. I don't want you getting dizzy and falling off the path again. And before you argue with me, I know I'm being slightly irrational and overprotective but I love you and Peanut too much to lose you."

"I'll make you a deal, my loving worry wart of a husband," I say with a grin, "if I still feel dizzy after breakfast, I'll call Zander myself. And just so you know, I wasn't going to argue. The same thought about the path entered my mind. The last thing I want to do is fall again. But Isobel did tell me early on that dizziness is a normal occurrence during pregnancy. I just need to be careful. Please try not to worry about us."

"I will _always_ worry about my family," he says sitting down next to me. The smell of the casserole wafts through the apartment, and it makes my mouth water. I down my orange juice, and Tobias takes the glass out of my hand and sits it on the end table next to my empty plate. "Did that help?"

"Yeah, I already feel much better," I say leaning into him. I place my lips on his, and we kiss slowly, tenderly for a few minutes then he thrusts his tongue into my mouth, deepening the kiss.

"Mmm," he says when he backs away. "You taste good … like oranges."

"Mommy?" Tyler says, rubbing his eyes as he comes down the stairs.

"What, buddy?" I ask.

"Tessa cwyin' … loud."

"I'll go get her," Tobias says giving me a quick peck. I look at the monitor on the table and realize that the power light is off. _Oh crap!_ This probably isn't good.

"Come here, Tyler," I say. He crawls up on my lap and snuggles into my chest as I wrap my arms around him. I hold him tightly and kiss the top of his head. "Did she wake you up?" He nods his head and yawns widely. "I'm sorry. Did you go potty?"

"Yeah, before I come down," he says. He's been doing such a good job lately, I'm going to have to find a way to reward him.

"Good job! I'm so proud of you," I say, hugging him even tighter. "Was sissy crying long?"

"Yeah," he says. "Hew weal mad."

"Tyler isn't lying," Tobias says as he brings one pissed off Tessa down the stairs. Her face is red, she's gasping for air, and there are tears streaming down her cheeks. My poor girl. How did we not hear her? Tyler's eyes widen when he takes in his sister's state and gets off my lap. Tobias hands her to me, and she wails even louder.

"Did you think we forgot about you, my sweet baby girl?" I say. "We'd never do that. We love you too much." I get up off the couch and move around the room shushing her, trying to get her to calm down. After a couple minutes she's calmed nicely and is ready to eat. I sit in the club chair, pull down my cami, put her to my breast, and she easily latches on, suckling like she thought she'd never eat again. "Slow down, little one. You're going to make yourself sick." I caress her little head, and she moves her eyes to mine, staring at me. I can tell that she's still upset with me. "I said I was sorry." The timer goes off in the kitchen, and Tobias goes to the stove and takes the casserole out of the oven.

"Smells good," Tyler says sniffing the air with a huge grin on his face.

"It sure does," I say. "Daddy did a good job with breakfast this morning." Tyler turns around on the couch and looks at his father.

"It weady?" he asks. "I hungwy, Daddy." I smile when Tobias comes into the living room and plucks Tyler up off the couch, blowing raspberries on his tummy as he carries him into the kitchen and sits him down at the island.

"I'll get you a plate, buddy," he says, kissing the top of his head. "I'm going to put the casserole in the oven on warm, Tris. Let me know when she's almost done, and I'll get you a plate."

"Thanks but I think she'll be a while," I say. "Our poor baby's hungry."

"I could tell by the way she was screaming," Tobias says.

"Yeah," Tyler says around a mouthful of breakfast. I grin at them both and shake my head.

"You better eat, young man," Tobias says placing another kiss on his head. I put Tessa against my shoulder and pat her back. She whines until she burps then I place her to my other breast. She wastes no time latching on and nursing like there's no tomorrow. I continue to tell her that I'm sorry as she suckles away. After she pulls away from my chest, I burp her again then she finally seems content. I carry her into the kitchen and hand her off to Tobias after he places a full plate in front of me. Each bite is better than the last, and when I push my empty plate away, I wrap my hands around my very full tummy.

"I'm feeling much better now but I'm so full," I say. "I'm going to walk to the infirmary with the kids for my appointment but I think I'll stay home this afternoon instead of going to the training room. I can't believe I let her get so hungry. I feel terrible."

"The batteries in the baby monitor died," Tobias says. "I replaced them. It's okay now, and so is she." I get up from the island and go to where Tobias, Tyler, and Tessa are sitting. He takes Tyler upstairs to get ready for the day, and I put Tessa in her swing, set the timer, and proceed to clean the kitchen.

"Hey, Tessa," I say as I pick her up after I finish in the kitchen. She smiles at me, and I give her a big hug and kiss. "I love you, baby girl. Are you ready for your bath?" She coos when I mention her bath. I'm sure experts would tell me I'm crazy but I know that she understands what I'm saying, and she _loves_ bath time. I pull her tub, hooded bath towel, wash cloth, and baby soap out of the cupboard and set them up, turn on the water, and find the perfect temperature, not too hot and not too cold. I take her sleeper and diaper off and put her in the white plastic tub. She's all smiles throughout her bath, and I know that she's forgiven me. Just as I get her out of the tub and wrapped in her fluffy hooded towel, there's a knock on the door.

"Just a minute," I yell. I quickly cross the room with Tessa in my arms and open the door. Christina, Will, and Liam are on the other side. "Hey guys. Come in." I step aside and let them in. Christina sits in her favorite spot and Will gently places Liam, who is sound asleep, in her arms then sits on the edge of the couch. A streak of naked flesh runs full force at me, and I gasp in shock.

"Tyler Aaron Eaton, where in the world are your clothes?" I ask, mortified. I look toward Will, and he motions that he'll take Tessa so I place her in his arms. I pick up a naked, damp Tyler and head for the steps. "Sorry guys, I'll be right back." I ascend the staircase to find Tobias standing at the landing with his hands on his hips.

"Sorry. He got away from me," he says meeting my eyes with an apologetic look then he looks at his son with disapproval on his face. "Tyler, what do you think you're doing?"

"I want to see who hewe," he says, pouting like a champion, his bottom lip sticking out farther than it ever has.

"You don't run away from Daddy," I say, "and you don't come downstairs without clothes on." I look at Tobias, and we shrug at each other. I know I'm at a loss as to what to do. He's never done anything like his before.

"When you get downstairs you need to sit in the timeout chair for two minutes," Tobias says. "Understand?" Tyler nods then puts his head on my shoulder and wraps his arms around my neck.

"I sowwy, Mommy," he whispers. "I sowwy, Daddy."

"Why are you sorry?" I ask. I need to know if he's remorseful for what he did or if he's just saying sorry because he got in trouble and doesn't want us upset with him.

"Because I wunned away fwom Daddy with nothin' on, and I wunned in the house. I not 'pose to do that," he says with his face buried in my shoulder. I pat his back reassuringly. I find this to be one of the hardest parts of being a parent. It breaks my heart.

"Will you do it again?" I ask.

"No, I be good," he says.

"Remember what I told you yesterday? You _are_ a good boy just don't run way from either of us, especially if you don't have any clothes on," I say hugging him tightly. Wow he's getting big. I'm not sure how long I'll be able to carry him. "I love you, buddy."

"I love you, Mommy," he says puckering his lips at me and I give him a big kiss. "I love you, Daddy."

"I love you too, buddy," Tobias says.

"I'll get him dressed. Will you grab a diaper and outfit for Tessa? I just finished her bath. Will has her."

"Okay," he says giving me a quick kiss and then he ruffles Tyler's hair. I carry Tyler into his room and put him in a training diaper, black boot cut jeans, a dark grey polo shirt, and his new black combat boots.

"You look very handsome," I say. "Will you please go downstairs? I'll be down in a few minutes."

"Okay, Mommy," he says. I watch him slowly walk to the end of the dimly lit hallway, head hanging low, and disappear down the stairs. I quickly get dressed then head downstairs myself. When I reach the living room, Tyler is sitting in the new black folding timeout chair we bought, looking somewhat distraught.

"You can get up now, Tyler," Tobias says from the love seat. I join him and watch Tyler get up and walk over to stand in front of Will and Christina.

"I sowwy I come down with no clothes," he says. They both thank him for apologizing.

"Thank you, buddy," Tobias says dragging him up into his arms. "Did Mommy tell you to say that?" He looks at me, and I shake my head no.

"No," he says looking like a little angel.

"I'm proud of you for being such a big boy and saying you're sorry to everyone," he says eliciting a big hug from his son.

"Sorry for the interruption," I say to Will and Christina. "Mornings are a bit, uh, _crazy_ around here."

"I can see that," Christina says with a chuckle.

"You ready to go, Four?" Will asks. "We're late for our meeting."

"Yeah," he says. "You be good for Mommy, buddy." He kisses Tyler again and gives him a big hug before moving him onto my lap. He leans over and kisses me briefly then walks to Tessa in her swing and kisses her head. "I love you, Tris. I'll see you at lunch. Have a good day."

"I love you, too," I say. "Have a good day. See you later." He leans over and gives me a tender kiss, lingering a bit too long in front of our company but we don't care. We're young and desperately in love. We don't mind showing it. "Bye."

"Bye, love."

"Bye, Daddy," Tyler says, beaming up at his father. Tobias thinks that Tyler only has eyes for me but he loves his daddy so much. Tobias ruffles his hair affectionately. "Bye, Will."

"Bye, Tyler," Will says. "Later, babe. Have a nice morning with Tris." He leans over and gives Christina a quick peck then kisses Liam's head. "Bye, baby boy. Daddy loves you. Love you, too, Christy." She blushes when he calls her his special nickname. She says she hates it but I can tell that she secretly loves it. We all wave goodbye to Will and Tobias as they head off to their meeting.

"I hope you don't mind that I just stopped by," she says. "I've been going stir crazy at home, and I missed you. Did you have other plans?"

"I have to go to the infirmary sometime today and see Isobel to have my blood pressure checked but other than that I was just going to stick around the apartment with the kids," I say.

"How about I walk with you and the kids down to the infirmary then after your appointment we meet the guys in the cafeteria for lunch," she says.

"That sounds like a great plan. I've missed everyone," I say. "Do you want to give Will a call or do you want me to get ahold of Four?"

"I'll text Will and have him tell Four," she says. "Do you want to hold Liam?"

"I thought you'd never ask," I say, moving Tyler off my lap. I gently lift Liam out of her arms and sit on the end of the couch. I fawn over the perfect tiny boy lying in my arms who is now wide awake and looking around. When Tyler sees me fussing over him, I think he gets a bit jealous so he climbs up on the couch to sit next to us and talks to Liam. Christina pulls her phone out and messages Will and almost immediately gets his response.

"They'll meet us in the cafeteria at noon," she says, putting her phone away. "So did you guys have a good weekend? It must have been nice to get away."

"Our weekend was just what we needed," I say trying to keep myself from blushing. "It was relaxing and fun. I'm glad Will, Tori, and Harrison gave us the time off."

"I'm glad you had a good time. I can't wait until Will and I can get away for a weekend or stay in for that matter," she says with longing in her voice. I look at Tyler who got off the couch when he got bored with Liam or decided that he wasn't in jeopardy of losing my affection and is absorbed in a five pack of wooden puzzles at the base of the stairs.

"Still not having sex, huh?" I quietly ask.

"I'm hoping Isobel clears us at my next appointment early next week," she says. "We're both on edge. It's been over three months, Tris." My eyes widen at her admission. I fully understand her angst. I hope that doesn't happen to me and Tobias. I'd go crazy. "I'm feeling great. I keep telling him that but he won't go there until Isobel or a doctor says we can. What started out as an intimate evening at home last night ended with me throwing a knife at Will's head and him storming out."

"You threw a knife at Will?" I gasp, my mouth hanging open.

"It was just a small paring knife, and he has quick reflexes," she says, shrugging. "I apologized immediately when he came home, and so did he, although at the time I didn't think it was necessary. I could have killed the father of my son. What was I thinking? I'm worse than Eric."

"That's impossible, Christina. You're nothing at all like Eric. You're just frustrated," I say. "How long did Isobel tell you that you had to wait? Just call me curious."

"Between four and eight weeks," she says with a chuckle, knowing why I'm asking. "But the norm is four to six weeks apparently."

"Eight weeks?" I repeat, astonished. "I had no idea. She hasn't told Four and me any of this yet."

"She probably doesn't want to stress you out. She didn't tell us until after Liam was born," she says. "I don't think it will be any way near that long for us though. Honestly, I feel great. I'd do it this very minute if only _he_ would. I even told him … well screamed is the more accurate term … that I would go to the infirmary to get checked out so we could make love. I'm going nuts."

"I'm sorry, Christina," I say. "I'd say I know what you're going through but I don't have a clue. The longest Four and I went was nearly seven weeks." I don't have to explain why. We both remember the time before my wedding when I couldn't bring myself to be with Tobias.

"Thank you for opening up to me, Tris," she says. "There's a time when you wouldn't even consider talking about sex. It frustrated me to no end. I thought you didn't trust me."

"I trust you with my life so of course I trust you with my secrets," I say. "You don't know what it's like to grow up in Abnegation just like I have no idea what Candor is truly all about. Like I've said before, sex is a highly taboo subject in my old faction. Over the past few months, I've come to question a lot about my upbringing, and I realize that although I will always be slightly uncomfortable with the subject that I need to get over it. Just don't expect it to happen overnight and don't expect details. The details belong to Four and me."

"I understand and I'm sorry if I ever pushed you," she says.

"You be pushy?" I say with a chuckle. "That's unheard of." She rolls her eyes at me making me giggle harder bringing on her fit of laughter. When I wipe the tears from my eyes and suck in lungful's of much-needed air, Tyler is looking at us like we're crazy.

"You're so funny," she says trying to catch her breath. Liam starts rooting toward my breast so I get up and give him to his mother.

"I think he's hungry," I say.

"Can you bring me my diaper bag?" she says. "It's by the door." I look by the table to the right of the door and see her black and blue diaper bag. I pick it up and bring it to her. She covers up Liam to nurse him, and this captures Tyler's attention. He gets up and stands in front of her, staring.

"Mommy, what Chwissy doin'?" he asks with a big frown on his face.

"She's feeding Liam," I say. He stands there with his head cocked to one side looking at the blanket covering Christina's chest.

"Why?"

"Liam's hungry, buddy."

"Why _she_ doing it?" I meet Christina's eyes, and she looks as confused as I feel. Where's he going with this?

"Come here," I say. He lingers in front of Christina for another minute then comes to me. I pull him up onto my lap and give him a hug.

"Why she feedin' Liam?" he asks again. "Why not you?"

"Oh honey, I don't feed all babies just Tessa," I say. He's really testing me this morning. I'm trying so hard not to laugh. "Do you understand? Mommies feed their own babies."

"You no feed me," he says pouting again and my heart constricts painfully.

"No, I didn't," I say. "Mommy Evelyn did." He buries his head in my chest, and my heart breaks for him. He doesn't like to be reminded of her, which baffles me. I know he loved her … _loves_ her. But we can't even get him to talk about her. I'm sure one day he'll grow out of it but right now it's painful for him.

"I not you weal son," he whispers. I pull him back and look in his eyes, which are brimming with tears.

"Don't you _ever_ think or say that again, Tyler Aaron Eaton," I say. "You _are_ my son, and I love you very much. Daddy loves you, too. I'm going to tell you a secret." He wipes his eyes then hugs me again. I wrap one arm around him keeping him close and cradle his head with the other, comforting him. "I have thought of you as mine since the day you came to live with me. The thought of giving you back to Mommy Evelyn tore me apart."

"Weally?" he asks, looking up at me again.

"Yes," I say. "I've loved you since the day I met you, Tyler, and I love you a little more each day. I may not have carried you in my tummy like Peanut but I _chose_ to be your Mommy. That's what makes our relationship extra special."

"I love you, Mommy," he says. He finally relaxes into my embrace and promptly falls asleep. Poor baby.

"That was emotional," Christina says. She puts a sleeping Liam up to her shoulder and pats his back trying to get him to burp. "Has he ever talked that way before?"

"No," I say with a sigh. "I thought my heart was going to break in two when he said that. 'Not my real son.'" I shake my head in disbelief. "Poor little guy. He's been through so much. I don't ever want him to doubt how much Four and I love him." I press my lips into his hair.

"Tris, I've been around children my entire life. I've never seen a boy love his mother the way Tyler loves you," she says. "I can only hope that Liam feels the same way about me one day."

"He loves you, Christina," I say.

"He's dependent on me," she sadly says. "There's a difference."

"He knows you're his mom, and he loves you," I say. "I have a little experience in this department." Tessa starts whining so I carefully move Tyler off my lap and go to her. I pick her up, and she smiles at me. "Hi, little one." I think that she might be hungry but she's not giving me any cues. She just looks happy after her nap.

"She's so stinking cute," Christina says. "She's looking more and more like Tyler every day." I first look at Tyler who is peacefully napping on the couch and then at Tessa who is now cooing in my arms. She looks up at me over her shoulder and smiles.

"They both look so much like Four," I say. "I think we're very fortunate. Can I let you in on a little secret?" She nods her head at me enthusiastically. She loves it when I confide in her. "I'm thankful that when I look at my kids I don't see either Evelyn or Ethan. I see Four and unbelievably … _me_."

"I see you in them, too," she says. I see her glance at the wall, and I do the same. "We should be going soon if we want to meet the guys on time. I lie Tessa on her tummy on a blanket in front of the entertainment center then bring down the stroller, pack the diaper bag, and change her diaper. After getting the kids into the double-seat stroller, Christina, the kids, and I head down to the infirmary.


	5. Chapter 5

Christina is keeping Tyler and Tessa company in the waiting room while I sit on the cold metal table in a sterile examination room waiting on an infirmary nurse to take my blood pressure. I know they are short staffed since Erin and Dr. Young's arrests earlier this month so I don't know how long I'll have to wait. I hope I don't make us late for lunch. I do make a mental note of at least two jobs that will be on the available list for the initiates this year.

"Hi, Tris," Marlene says as she comes through the door into the spacious room. This is the first time I've actually seen her working as a nurse. She looks super cute in her bright orange scrubs.

"Hey, Marlene! How long have you been working here? I thought you still had more training to do at the hospital downtown?" She was only supposed to have six months of training but midway through her course load, protocols were changed, and nurses must now train for 12 months instead of 6.

"Dr. Parrish called the hospital a couple weeks ago and asked the instructors to release me," she says. "Apparently my grades were good enough by the old standards to let me start work early. I'm pretty thrilled about it. You and Four need to come to the cafeteria more often, and then you would have heard my news."

"You're absolutely right but it's been so difficult lately," I say. "We'll try harder to get down for at least lunches. As a matter of fact we'll be joining you today."

"That's great," she says. "Uriah will love to see Tyler."

"I hope he doesn't feed him too much cake," I say and we both laugh. I don't know who loves cake more, Uriah or Tyler. "I'm really glad you're here fulltime now. In case you don't know, I need my blood pressure checked for Isobel."

"Yeah, I read it in your chart," she says. "She also called in some additional tests early yesterday morning as well so not only do I need to do a blood pressure check, I need urine and blood samples." I know my face falls with this unwelcome news.

"Do you have any idea why?" I ask, somewhat concerned.

"No, I'm afraid I don't," she says. First, she takes my blood pressure, which she says is on the high side of normal. Next, she takes three vials of blood. I'm glad that it's a short walk to the cafeteria because I've already been dizzy this morning and don't need blood loss to make me pass out or something. Lastly, she gives me a specimen cup and lets me go to the bathroom. I come out after I finish and hand her the little plastic cup.

"Do you know when I'll get the results back?" I ask. "Do I have to wait for my next appointment?"

"How does she usually notify you of your results?" Marlene asks as she puts a seal on the specimen jar and sits it next to the three vials of blood.

"When I go to the clinic, she calls," I say. "When I come here, they're instantaneous."

"Well I don't see why these results would be any different than the ones you get when you're at the clinic but she didn't give me any other instructions I'm afraid."

"Okay," I say, nervously twisting my wedding rings again and again. She reaches out and places her hand over mine, and I look up at her.

"Try not to worry about things, Tris," she says.

"I know. It's not good for the baby," I sigh.

"It's not good for you either," she says patting my shoulder. "You're free to go. I'll see you in the cafeteria as soon as I get your samples to the lab." I get off the examination table and feel a bit woozy. Marlene notices, and puts her arm through mine and walks me to the waiting room, talking animatedly about the Candor or Dauntless game Saturday night. I had almost forgotten about that. Her excitement is contagious though, and now I can't wait. I thank her for walking with me, and she tells me to be careful on my short journey to the cafeteria.

"Hey, Marlene," Christina says. "Nice scrubs."

"Thanks, Christina," she says looking down like she forgot what she's wearing.

"See you at lunch?"

"Yep," she says. "I'll be there soon. See you guys later." She turns and goes back into the depths of the infirmary, and Christina, the kids, and I head for lunch. Tyler woke up while I was at my appointment and holds my hand while we make our way across the floor of the Pit to the cafeteria. We sit down at the empty table since we're the first to arrive.

"What do you want to eat, Tyler?" I ask. He doesn't have to think long about it.

"Mac and cheese," he says. I nod and get him a plate of macaroni and cheese, mixed vegetables, and fruit salad.

"If you eat everything on your plate, you can have a slice of cake before we leave," I tell him. He looks at the somewhat full plate in front of him, back up at me, and then he digs in. "Slow down. You don't want to make yourself sick." Funny, I said the exact same thing to Tessa earlier.

"Do I need to plan a Dauntless Welcome Party for after initiation?" Christina asks. "I kind of forgot about it."

"Yeah," I say with an apologetic look. I think Tobias and I forgot, too, with everything else that's been going on. "Four and I want to make it a tradition. We can put the plans together and have maintenance set everything up and the chefs cater the event. Would that be too much for you to do?"

"No, it should be easy," she says. "I have a binder at home with all kinds of ideas. Last year I had, what, a week to throw it together? Think of what I can do with all the time I have this year."

"Hey, beautiful," I hear Will say. Christina and I look his way and watch our guys walk across the cafeteria toward us. My stomach tightens with desire as I take in Tobias in his tight faded black jeans, black and red striped formfitting t-shirt, and black combat boots. God, I could take him right here in the middle of our table but that would be awkward for all of us.

"What's the blush for?" he quietly asks after a quick kiss. He slides in beside me, and I lie my head on his shoulder for a moment.

"I don't know what's wrong with me but I hope you don't fall asleep on me again tonight," I softly say where only he can hear me. "I can't seem to get enough of you, of us." I feel a growl resonate through his chest but don't hear him make a sound.

"I've noticed," he says against my ear. "You've been keeping me quite busy lately."

"Me?" I ask a little louder than I mean to, hoping none of our friends is interested in our hushed conversation but see that they're all looking at us. Tobias stares them down and they look away.

"Yes, you," he says.

"You're the one who woke _me_ up last night."

"I promise I won't fall asleep on you again tonight," he says. "We could sneak off right now if you want to."

"Four!" I say looking him in the eye. He's absolutely serious right now. I hear Tessa start to cry and know she must be hungry. "We can't do that."

"It was just a thought," he says giving me a lingering kiss.

"Hey you two, get a room," Zeke teases and I go crimson from head to toe. Tobias gives his best friend one of his scary Four looks but Zeke just grins and rolls his eyes. He loves teasing my husband. I get up and carefully take Tessa out of the stroller. Liam is lying next to her, and I don't want her to wake him up.

"Hey, little one," I say. "Are you hungry?" I cover us up and put her to my breast so she can nurse while we're having lunch. Tobias gets us each a plate of hamburgers, spring salad, mixed vegetables, and melon balls. My plate has twice the fruit on it than anyone else's because the sweet melon is so good this time of year. I can't get enough of it. Tobias brings me home container after container of it, and we have it in the refrigerator and freezer. I guess I could say that I'm craving it.

"Mommy, can I have cake with Wiah?" Tyler asks. I look at his plate, and he has a bite or two of vegetables left but he ate everything else. I meet his eyes, and he's practically begging me.

"Yeah, you can have cake with Uriah," I say. "You did a good job with lunch. I'm proud of you." He carefully hugs me knowing that I'm still feeding Tessa and thanks me. He walks around the table and Uriah picks him up, and they go to the dessert counter and decide on small slivers of carrot cake with cream cheese frosting, chocolate cake with chocolate frosting, and vanilla cake with strawberry puree filling with strawberry frosting. I shake my head and roll my eyes at Uriah. He looks at me like, what?

"Is everyone ready for the Candor or Dauntless party Saturday night?" Zeke asks enthusiastically. "Hell, I can't think of the last time we all had a night out together. It's been ages. I for one am stoked about it."

I honestly don't think that Tyler is paying any attention to anything going on at the table because of the three small slivers of cake in front of him but just in case, Tobias says, "Language, _Uncle_ Zeke."

"Oh! Sorry, Four," he says as he glances at Tyler. "Uriah, Marlene, Shauna, and I have all been working really hard on making sure that Saturday night is fun for everyone. There are so many people invited that we decided to have it in the auditorium." This gets everyone's attention.

"Auditorium?" Lynn, Ciara, and Kirsten say at the same time.

"Yep," Marlene says.

"How many people did you invite?" Will asks. I know that he and Christina are still having second thoughts about leaving Liam with a sitter so soon but they finally committed last week to attending and promised they wouldn't back out.

"A lot," Uriah says. "It's going to be the biggest C or D Party this place has ever seen."

"Who authorized that?" Tobias asks in Four mode.

"Tori and Harrison," Zeke says with a shit eating grin on his face. "Of course, I had to invite them and their guests, too, but I thought it was well worth it. Everyone is going to have a blast. I promise."

"I for one am looking forward to it," Kirsten says. "It's been too long since I've had a really good time."

"Me too," Ella says. They look at each other and grin.

"What's that look for?" I ask them. They stare at each other for another moment and nod.

"We have dates," Kirsten happily announces to the table. This is bigger news than the party being held in a public space. We haven't seen them with anyone since Dante and Samuel's executions nearly seven months ago.

"Wow," Ciara says. "You guys are dating? Why didn't you tell me?"

"We wanted it to be a surprise but we're too excited to wait anymore," Ella says. "We met some good guys this time. Their names are Stefan and Trevor Butler. They're brothers. We met at the club almost four weeks ago. Stefan asked me to dance, and we hit it off immediately. He's so sweet. Trevor introduced himself to Kirsten while Stefan and I were on the dancefloor, and although we decided to take things slowly, we've been hanging out most evenings since. It's nice to be happy again."

"That's why I never catch you guys at home anymore," Ciara says, pouting somewhat.

"We're sorry we didn't say anything, Cici," Ella says. "We wanted to make sure that there really was something there. We both got played big time in our past relationships, and we never want that to happen again." I understand their hesitation. We watched them both travel to hell and back over Dante and Samuel's betrayal.

"What do they do?" Shauna asks.

"They're both gunsmiths," Kirsten says.

"I'm happy for you," Christina and Marlene say at the exact same time and they laugh.

"So am I," I say joining the laughter. "I can't wait to meet them."

"I think I know who they are," Zeke says, looking deep in thought. "Fraternal twins a year or two older than us, right?"

"They just turned 22 about a month ago," Kirsten says. Zeke was close.

"I remember them from upper levels," Zeke says. "Nice guys. Good Dauntless members. Excellent weapon makers."

"Can I have moe cake, Mommy?" Tyler asks while everyone is congratulating Kirsten and Ella.

"I don't think so, buddy," Tobias says. "You've had more than enough cake to last you an entire week." Like clockwork, he shoves out his bottom lip, and he starts pouting.

"I ask Mommy, not you," he says, with the biggest frown I've ever seen on his face. The entire table goes silent. Did he just talk back to his father? I know my mouth must be hanging open right now.

"What did you just say?" Tobias asks, sounding too much like Four for my liking. I put my hand on his leg, and when he glances my way, I give him a warning look. This isn't an initiate or a wayward Dauntless member he's talking to, this is our two-year-old son. "You don't get to speak to me like that, Tyler." Thankfully, his tone has softened.

"What do you say to Daddy?" I look at Tyler, and he drops his head.

"I want moe cake," he sulks. Damn! What's gotten into him?

"I think someone needs to go home and sit in the timeout chair and then take a nap," Tobias says getting up from the table. Without a word he picks up Tyler, and we watch as he carries him out of the cafeteria.

"I'm really sorry, Tris," Uriah says.

"It's not your fault, Uriah," I say. "I think he's getting more comfortable with Four and me and knows that he won't be sent to live with his biological father or taken away from us if he misbehaves so now he's testing our boundaries and our patience."

"Has he been doing this long?" Shauna asks.

"The past couple weeks," I say. "We had to go out and by a timeout chair. It's never been as bad as it was just now though." Tessa pulls away from my breast, and I straighten my clothes and burp her. I check to see if she's still hungry but she seems sated now so I decide that it's time to go home and see how Tobias is dealing with Tyler. "I better go. I probably should have left with them."

"I'll walk with you," Christina says. We say goodbye to all our friends and head out of the cafeteria.

"So how's the wedding planning coming?" I ask once we're on the path home.

"Slow," she sighs. "I have quite a few ideas about what I want but I haven't been able to do anything about them since Liam was born. I just haven't had the time."

"I'm not half as good at party planning as you are but why don't you let me help you," I say. "Not only am I your matron of honor and I'm supposed to help, but I owe you one. You planned my entire wedding and made it one of the most magical days of my life. I can help you, Christina. I want to help."

"Are you going to have time for that with Four, the kids, and initiation?" she asks.

"Are _you_ going to have time to plan a wedding and take care of Will, Liam, initiation, _and_ planning the Dauntless Welcome Party?" I ask raising an eyebrow.

"Thank you so much, Tris. You have no idea how much I appreciate you doing this for me," she says with a relieved sigh.

"It'll be fun, and it will give us time to spend together," I say. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you, too," she says. We take Liam and Tessa out of the stroller and leave it at the base of the stairs that lead up to our apartments.

"Do you want to come over and talk about wedding plans?" I ask as we trudge up the stairs.

"What about Tyler?" she says, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"He'll be fine," I say. "He just needs another nap and less cake in the future." I open the door, and he's sitting on the timeout chair in front of the wall of windows. He doesn't look up when we come in, he just sits there looking miserable. Tobias is in the kitchen busying himself. I think he gets that from his Abnegation upbringing. "Make yourself comfortable, Christina." She sits in her favorite chair holding Liam as I put Tessa in her swing.

"Is everything okay?" I ask Tobias. He turns around and doesn't look very happy.

"Can I talk to you upstairs?" he says.

"Sure," I say. We head to the staircase. "We'll be right down." Christina nods our way. We head into our bedroom and Tobias closes the door behind us.

"Do you have something to say to me?" he asks. I know I look confused because I don't know what he's alluding to.

"I don't think so," I say.

"What was that look for in the cafeteria?" he asks, sounding irritated. I sigh.

"Tobias, how do I say this?" I start pacing knowing this probably isn't going to go over very well. "I don't want you talking to the kids like 'Four'. It isn't necessary."

"You don't think he needed disciplined for talking back to me," he says dumbfounded, mouth agape.

"Of course, he needs to be disciplined for that," I say. "It was totally uncalled for but I don't want you talking to him like you don't care ... kind of like you're doing to me right now." He turns around and runs his hand through his hair then turns back to me.

"I don't think I understand," he says, thankfully sounding more like himself. "You know that I love you and the kids more than anything."

"I know you do," I say. "But when you let Four take over, you shut your emotions off to protect yourself and you don't need to protect yourself from me and the kids, Tobias. It appears that you don't even realize you're doing it but we're not initiates who need whipped into shape, and we're not Dauntless members who did something wrong. We're your family."

"I'm sorry," he says, pulling me into his arms. He holds me close to him, rubbing one hand up and down my back and cradling my head with the other. "You're right. I didn't know I was doing it. I guess I have to work on it."

"What are we going to do about him?" I say.

"I don't know," he sighs. "He's never done anything like that before. I didn't like it."

"Neither did I," I say. "Did you talk to him about it on the way home?"

"No, I was too angry. I didn't want to yell and scare him," he says. "I brought him in here and sat him down and told him he couldn't get up until one of us said he could. We should go back downstairs." I lean back and look up at him. We gaze into each other's eyes for a moment then he captures my mouth with a hungry urgency and kisses me with vigor. I pull away winded and stare up into his handsome face. He kisses my neck, and I have to push him away. I can't allow this to go any further.

"Tobias, we need to deal with Tyler," I say.

"I know. I'm sorry. I got a bit carried away," he says up against my ear. I shake my head, clearing it and turn and walk down the hall. I can feel him right behind me as I descend the stairs.

"He's looked like that since we got home," Tobias whispers. I glance in Tyler's direction and see tears swimming in his eyes while he pouts. I quickly turn away from him. I've seen that face many times, and it breaks my heart every time.

After Tobias and I sit down on the couch I say, "Tyler, will you please come here?" He slowly gets up from the chair and comes and stands in front of me. "Will you please explain why you talked back to Daddy at lunch?" He looks up at me through his lashes and shrugs. I look at Tobias, and we're both at a loss. "When Daddy or I tell you to do something, we expect you to do it with no questions and no backtalk. Do you understand me, young man?"

"Yes, Mommy," he says. "I just wanted moe cake."

"Did you think I was going to reward your bad behavior with more cake after you talked back to Daddy?" I ask. I know he's young but he's an extremely smart boy. I need to make him understand that this behavior is unacceptable. He just looks at me.

"I don't know," he says.

"No cake for the next four days," I say. I started to say a week but we're having a picnic with my parents, Caleb, and Cara on Sunday and we're bringing cake. I know what would happen, we'd give into him and that would set a bad example. "That is your punishment." His eyes widen, and he bursts out in tears. Tobias gets up without a word and takes him to his room for a nap. I'm wiping the few escaped tears from my eyes when he comes back down.

"You did very well," he says. "I'm proud of you."

"I know he's just testing us but I don't like it," I murmur.

"No parent does, love," he says. "I'm sorry to leave you alone with this but I've got to go. There's so much to do before next week. I'll see you later." He kisses my forehead then turns toward the door. "You guys have a great afternoon."

"I'm sorry about that, Christina. Something to look forward to in the future, huh?" I say with a nervous chuckle after Tobias leaves. I'm worried about my son. I get up and take Tessa out of her swing. If I can't hold Tyler right now, I'm going to hold his sister. "Let's talk about your wedding. We can make a list of what needs to be done." We spend the next two hours talking about the wedding party, dresses, shoes, hairstyles, makeup, flowers, linens, place settings, decorations, caterers, menus, cakes, music, photographers, invitations, potential venues, and honeymoon destinations.

"The very first thing you and Will need to decide on is a date," I say. "Have you talked about it yet?"

"Yeah but we keep going back and forth on whether to have it sooner or later," she says. "He wants to wait until next spring, and I want to have it as soon as possible."

"Why does he want to wait?" I ask.

"He wants us to take our time, not rush in to anything. It's not like we haven't already had a baby," she says shaking her head. "I really don't understand. I just want to be Mrs. William Drake as soon as possible so we can be a real family. Do you think this is a sign of a problem?"

"First of all, the three of you _are_ a real family. Don't think otherwise. Families come in all different shapes and sizes," I say somewhat sternly but then I soften up. "Secondly, I can tell that Will absolutely adores you. Don't think anything different, okay? Under normal circumstances, I would have taken more time marrying Four but then I wouldn't have my kids."

"You're probably right," she says. I'm on the floor changing Tessa's dirty diaper when there's a knock on the door.

"Can you get that for me?" I ask knowing that I can't just bound up off the floor like I used to.

"Just a minute!" she calls out. She manages to get out of the club chair without waking Liam and answers the door. "What are you doing here?" This captures my attention. Who in the world is she talking to?

"I'm looking for ... Four," says a voice I recognize immediately. I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and shake my head. What in the world does he want? I get up off the floor with some difficulty and walk over to Christina. Just on the other side of the threshold is my father-in-law.


	6. Chapter 6

"Marcus? What are you doing here?" I ask, surprised I'm able to keep the hatred I'm feeling out of my voice.

"Beatrice," he says, respectfully nodding his head at me. _What is he up to?_ "Like I told your friend here, I'm looking for my son. I don't mean to intrude but I would like to speak with him. Is he here?" I stare at him suspiciously.

"He's at work," I slowly say.

"Of course. I should have realized that," he says. "I know he's probably busy with initiation coming next week. I remember those days. Is it possible that you could tell him I'm here?"

"Why should I do that? You've caused him nothing but heartache and trouble. I don't want him to be reminded of you," I say. He looks at me and takes a deep breath. I expect attitude but get none. Why am I so suspicious of him?

"I'm here to apologize to both of you," he says. "I won't take up much of your time if you would just tell him I'm here."

"Come in," I say. Christina and I move away from the door and Marcus walks in. I go to the living room and pick Tessa up off the floor then get my phone off the end table. I send a quick text to Tobias letting him know that he's needed at home immediately. Within two minutes I hear his key in the lock, and he doesn't look happy when he comes through the door.

"What are you doing here, Marcus?" he angrily says. "I told you I didn't want you near my family ever again."

"Four, please let me explain," Marcus says. Tobias' mouth drops open, and he stands a little straighter, stunned into silence. "I came to apologize to you and Beatrice." A noise catches my attention, and I turn to see Tyler coming down the stairs.

"Tyler, honey, will you please go back upstairs and play in your room?" I ask. "Mommy will come up and get you when we're done." He hesitates for a moment like he's going to argue but he turns and drags himself back upstairs, looking confused.

"I'm going to take off," Christina says. "We'll talk later about the wedding. Thanks for keeping me company today, Tris." She picks Liam's diaper bag up, and Tobias opens the door for her.

"Thanks for this morning," I say. "I'll talk to you later. Bye." Tobias closes the door after she hurriedly leaves.

"What's your game?" Tobias asks as he comes to stand in front of me, protective as always.

"No game," Marcus says. "Please sit down. I'm not asking for anything except for both of you to listen to me." I look up at Tobias but he's staring at his father. I take his hand and pull him to the couch. Tessa's starting to nod off so I put her up to my shoulder and rub her back. I'd put her in her swing but I can't stand the thought of putting her down right now, not with Marcus here. "I've done a lot of soul searching since the last time we talked, and I realized that I was wrong." He starts pacing back and forth in front of us, head bowed, nervously wringing his hands in front of him.

"I raised you the way my father raised me, Four. It's the only way that I knew. I pray daily that you are able to break the cycle of abuse and be a better man than your father. I blamed you for leaving Abnegation when I should have blamed myself. I understand now that you needed to distance yourself from me. I know that saying I was wrong and I'm sorry doesn't change anything and doesn't fix anything. My hope is that with time we can establish a relationship and lay our past to rest but I will leave that up to you. I only want what's best for you and your family.

"As for you Beatrice … I'm sorry, Tris, I've been unfair to you. You've done nothing except love my son unconditionally and stand up to his old man, trying to get him to realize his mistakes. Our estrangement has nothing to do with you. I've always known that but it was just easier to blame you than look inward at my responsibility. You are an amazing woman, and I'm glad my son has you.

"I've done unspeakable things to both of you, and for that I'm truly sorry. I wish I could take back every painful thing that I've ever said or done to both of you but I can't. That's all I wanted to say. Thank you for listening." He looks into Tobias' face for a long moment then meets my gaze momentarily before turning and walking out our door.

"What the hell just happened?" Tobias slowly asks.

"Marcus apologized," I say, testing the words. They leave a sour taste in my mouth.

"Do you believe him?" he asks, giving me a sideways glance.

"I don't know what to believe," I say getting up and gently lying Tessa in the bassinet. I lean over and kiss her head then join Tobias back on the couch. "He sounded sincere."

"I don't trust him, Tris," he says, pulling me close to his side.

"I don't either but what does he get out of apologizing and not meaning it?"

"I don't know," he says.

"Do you think that with time you could ever forgive him now?" I ask. "I know I've asked this question before but he hadn't acknowledged that he did anything wrong before. This has to be a big step for him."

"You're too trusting, love," he says. "I'm not sure he's being genuine. I know it sounded like it but he has disappointed me far too many times in the past. I don't know what to do."

"Don't do anything," I say. "For now just ignore it or try to forget he ever stopped by. I don't trust him one bit. He could be playing some sort of sick game but on the other hand he could be reevaluating his life and wants to right his wrongs. Let him prove himself one way or another, Tobias."

"What if he's telling the truth, what do I do then?"

"Cross that bridge when you get to it," I say. "Who knows, if he proves himself trustworthy maybe you'll want a relationship."

"Never," he mutters under his breath with a sigh. "I better go get Tyler." He goes to get up off the couch but I stop him.

"Wait," I say and he sits back down.

"He said something earlier today that worried me," I say.

"What's that?"

"He said he wasn't our real son," I say.

" _What?_ Why would he say that?" he asks with pain in his voice. "He knows how much we love him."

"I told him to never think that way, then told him I chose to be his mommy. He seemed to accept my answer but then not two hours later he was talking back to you and giving me attitude. I'm worried about him."

"I'll go get him, and we can talk," he says. Before he gets off the couch, he pulls me close and gives me an intimate kiss. We're both on edge right now because of Marcus' visit, and we need to be close to one another. Our bond grounds us. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I say. I think about what Marcus said while Tobias goes upstairs to get Tyler. I know he will never admit even to himself but he wants to be able to forgive his father. That's the kind of man he truly is. Maybe this is his opportunity.

"Hi, Mommy," Tyler says from the base of the stairs. "I sowwy I talk back."

"Come here," I say holding my arms out to him. He comes running to me, and I pull him up onto my laps. "Awe you mad at me? No want you mad." His bottom lips start to quiver, and tears well up in her eyes. I hug him close and tell him I love him.

"We need to talk to you, Tyler," Tobias says when Tyler stops crying. "Mommy and Daddy aren't really happy about what happened at lunch but we're not mad at you. We definitely don't want you to do it again. We want you to behave. That's why we give you rules. But I'm more concerned about something you said to Mommy earlier. How could you say you're not our real son?"

"I not come out of Mommy's tummy," he sadly says. "I not hew weal son. She dop me." Dop? Oh, adopt.

"No you didn't come out of my tummy but we don't care about that. You _are_ our real son, Tyler, and you're right, Mommy and Daddy did adopt you. We chose to be your mommy and daddy because we love you so much."

"You are one of the best things to ever happen to me," Tobias says. "I'm your Daddy because I _want_ to be your Daddy. I wished that you could stay with us when I didn't have the right to. I love you so much."

"To the moon and back," I say. Tyler buries his head in my chest, and I worry that he's upset but when he looks up at me he's grinning from ear to ear.

"I love you, Mommy and Daddy, moon and back," he says.

"I should get back to work," Tobias says. "Lots to do. I'll be home around 6:30."

"I'll have supper ready," I say. He gives me a quick peck then kisses the top of Tyler's head. "Hey, Daddy, will you put a movie in for us?"

" _Cars_?" Tyler asks excitedly. I fight sighing and nod at Tobias. I can tell he's enjoying this. He puts the movie in the DVD player, tells us goodbye, and then quickly walks out the door, trying to hide his amused smile. Tyler and I snuggle on the couch watching the movie until Tessa wakes up. I get her out of the bassinet and lie her on a blanket on the floor. When the movie ends, I put her in her swing and _Planes_ in the DVD player. Tyler sits quietly while I start supper knowing Tobias will be home soon. I throw together a chilled spaghetti salad with cherry tomatoes, big black olives, and shredded parmesan cheese tossed lightly with Italian dressing and cut up some fresh seedless red grapes, strawberries, and cantaloupe and toss it with vanilla yogurt after I put some chicken breasts in the oven to bake. Just as I'm putting more barbeque sauce on the chicken, Tobias walks in the door.

"Daddy!" Tyler calls out when he sees his father. He runs over to him, and Tobias scoops him up in his arms and hugs him tight. "I happy you home."

"Well, I'm happy I'm home, too. It's been a long day," he says. He sits Tyler on the couch and picks Tessa up out of her swing and comes to give me a kiss. "Hey, love."

"Hi," I say giving him a slow, tender kiss. "I know we've only been apart for a few hours but I missed you."

"I missed you, too," he says then gives me another kiss. "Wow! Supper smells delicious. I can't wait to dig in. How were things after I left?"

"Fine," I say as I take plates out of the cupboard. "No problems at all."

"That's good," he says. "How was Pebbles? She seems a bit grouchy."

"I've noticed that, too," I say running my hand over her head. "I know she's not on a traditional schedule but she's been a little off since we got home. I think it'll just take some time for her to adjust being home. Will you put her back in the swing and get Tyler ready for supper, please?" After he sets the timer on her swing, he stops Tyler's movie. To both our surprise, he doesn't throw a fit. We sit down and have a wonderful meal then I nurse Tessa while Tobias gives Tyler a bath. Tessa falls asleep while we all watch the rest of _Planes_ then we take the kids upstairs to put them to bed.

"We love you, buddy," Tobias says as I tuck in Tyler.

"To the moon and back," I finish as I kiss his forehead. "Sleep well."

"Can I have a dwink?" he asks, trying to prolong lights out.

"You just had a drink," Tobias says. "After Mommy and I tuck in Tessa I will bring a glass of water and put it on your nightstand for you. Now close your eyes. Pleasant dreams."

"'Night, Daddy," he says then yawns widely. "'Night, Mommy."

"Goodnight, buddy," Tobias and I say at the same time. I turn off his overhead light before we go across the hall to Tessa's room. I carefully change the sleeping infant out of her outfit and put her in a soft pink sleeper without waking her up. I gently lie her in her crib after softly kissing her head.

"Goodnight, little one," I say. "Mommy and Daddy love you so much."

"How about a bath, Tris?" Tobias asks after he puts a small glass of water on Tyler's nightstand.

"I would like that," I say," but are you sure we'll both fit?"

"I'm confident we'll both fit," he says. "That tub is huge." He takes my hand and leads me down the hall into the bathroom. I start stripping out of my clothes as he turns the water on and adds some coconut bath oil. I watch as he slowly takes his clothes off and drops them on the floor and a shiver runs down my spine. "Are you cold?" I shake my head.

"No," I say, clearing my throat. I take in every inch of his naked body, and he takes my breath away. He's Adonis in the flesh, and he's all mine. He steps into the bathtub then he holds his hand out for me. I take it, and he helps me step into the hot yet comfortable water. He sits down with his knees bent against the side of the tub and pulls me with him. He relaxes against the reclining back, and I settle into his hard chest, resting my feet on the edge of the tub.

"Are you comfortable?" he asks as he wraps his arms around me.

"I'm wonderful," I say, taking his hands and threading my fingers with his. "Are you okay? I'm not too heavy am I?" He chuckles in my ear.

"You're not heavy at all," he says. I close my eyes and relax as the water continues to fill the spacious tub, which does have plenty of room for the two of us. I feel his body shift, and I look up over my shoulder at him. "Are you trying to go to sleep?"

"Not really," I say. "It's just so relaxing in here with you. It's trying to pull me under but I don't want to sleep. Let's talk." He releases my hands and starts gently rubbing my belly. It feels so good.

"How's my baby doing in there?" he asks against my ear. He moves his foot and turns the hot water off with his toes as I get the cold water with mine.

"She's been very active today, moving this way and that then I swear at one point she was turning somersaults but she's taking a nap right now," I say. He moves his hands over every inch of my belly like he's trying to determine for himself if she's moving or not.

"How did it go in the infirmary," he asks. "I can't believe I haven't asked before now." Neither can I. He usually interrogates me immediately following my blood pressure checks. He must have something else on his mind.

"Marlene said it was on the high end of normal but didn't elaborate," I say. "Also Isobel ordered a few blood tests and a urinalysis. I imagine she'll give me my test results either at my next clinic visit or she might even tell me tomorrow when we meet for lunch."

"I forgot you were meeting her tomorrow," he says. "Are you taking the kids with you?"

"I had thought about it but I want it to be an adult lunch so I'm dropping them off at daycare for a couple hours," I say. "We're meeting at the Italian place downtown at noon. Sometime soon we're going to have to plan that double date with her and her husband, Carter."

"Go ahead and do that tomorrow if you want to," he says.

"I like you rubbing my tummy," I sigh. "It feels so good but can you do something else for me?"

"Anything," he says, kissing my temple. "You know that."

"If I lean up a little can you rub my back?" I ask. "I probably shouldn't be carrying Tyler around anymore until after the baby's born. He's getting so big, and my back is starting to kill me."

"Of course," he says. We both sit up straighter, and I move forward and grab the front of the tub to the left of the faucet then lean forward and rest my head on my forearms. He puts his strong hands on my shoulders and rubs them firmly but not painfully. He works my muscles until I catch myself almost falling asleep but when he touches my lower back I jump from the discomfort.

"Ow," I say.

"Does it hurt?" he asks, concerned.

"It's just sore," I say. He continues kneading the tight muscles, and the pain begins to diminish. "Oh. Just like that, Tobias. It feels so good." He continues the magical massage until I nearly pass out into the bathwater. "Thank you, baby."

"Shall we get out?" he asks. "The water's getting cold."

"Okay," I say. I stand up then he does. He hands me a towel then wraps one around the lower half of his body. He steps out onto the bath mat then sweeps me up into his arms, startling me.

"How's your back?" he asks.

"It feels really good, right now," I say. I cup his cheek and slowly pull his mouth to mine. "Thank you for the massage. I really needed that. You have a way with your hands. I'm so relaxed right now." I kiss him slowly, thoroughly, and when his tongue invades my mouth, I know he has more in mind.

"I'm going to take you in our room and make love to you," he says, his lips still moving with mine. "Are you okay with that?"

"More than okay," I say. Our lips move together intimately as he walks us into the bedroom. He pauses to close the door and flips the lock. He sits me on my feet next to our bed, and both our towels fall to our feet. He pulls the quilt and top sheet off as I turn the baby monitor on, making sure the power light is on. He scoops me up again causing me to giggle before his lips land on mine, effectively swallowing the laughter. He kisses me passionately for a couple minutes then carefully lies me near the middle of the bed. His arms are so strong. He crawls up my body placing tender kisses here and there on my heated, naked skin. He kisses and nips the inside of each of my thighs before moving up to worship my still growing bump with a reverent gleam in his eyes.

"I love you, Mrs. Eaton. Thank you for having my baby, for keeping her safe in here," he says before kissing each heaving, round, heavy breast. He teases each nipple relentlessly, bringing them to hard peaks, causing me to moan deeply. He continues to kiss his way up my body, a gentle touch exploring alongside his hot, wet mouth. He kisses my ravens, each collarbone, every inch of my sensitive left ear, then he moves his mouth to mine for a long, slow, heady kiss. I throw my arms around his neck and arch myself closer to him, needing to feel his body on mine.

"I love you, too, Tobias," I breathlessly say when we break apart. "So, so much. Make love to me … _please_." He kisses me again deeply, pulling me toward him until we are both on our sides. He then moves until he is lying behind me, spooning me. He puts his lips on my neck, kissing me tenderly and runs his big, strong hands slowly up and down my body. I feel his powerful desire against my backside, and I feel like crying from the strong emotions running though me. He lifts my leg and lies it over his then places himself at my moist entrance. He slowly sinks fully into my small body, eliciting a groan of fulfillment from me. He doesn't move, he just kisses my sensitive neck while he caresses my aching breast.

"You feel good around me," he whispers against my ear and I involuntarily clench around his hard length. "God, I love you." He slowly withdraws from my depths and thrusts back into me just as slowly then stills himself. I close my eyes and savor his every movement. He trails his hand up my body until he cups my chin and moves my head toward him. His lips lands on mine, and he thoroughly makes love to my mouth as he begins to unhurriedly move within me. I feel the familiar beginning of an earthshattering release stir deep within me with each of his slow, deliberate, and deep-penetrating thrusts. I move my hand back to his muscled backside and feel each of his measured drives. He increases our pace marginally sensing my fast-approaching peak.

"Oh, Tobias," I moan. He buries his head in my shoulder, placing heated kisses all over my neck and upper back, and I slip over the edge, shattering around his invading manhood. I quiver around his shaft and cry out his name over and over. He groans long and low into my back as he finds his own release, spilling himself into me. He slows then stops and pulls out. He gently rolls me toward him so he can look in my eyes. He lowers his mouth to mine keeping his love-clouded eyes on mine and kisses me deliberately, lovingly, and passionately.

"I am so in love with you," he says when he pulls back, emotion thick in his voice. "You've made me the happiest man in this city, this planet, this galaxy."

"I love you, too," I say, caressing his face. I hear Tessa start to whine over the baby monitor and sigh. "I think our daughter needs me."

"Go," he says. "I'll be here when you get back. Kiss Pebbles for me." Before I slide out of bed, I pull him to me and give him a tender yet deep kiss.

"Sleep, Tobias," I say. "I'll be back soon." I slide out of bed and take my robe out of the closet and put it on. When I reach Tessa she has just started to cry but stops when I pick her up. She eats a lot, and I know that she won't be up again until morning, and I silently rejoice. I love her dearly but I like sleeping too. After I change her diaper, I kiss her goodnight then head back to bed. I take my robe off and slip between the sheets, cuddle into Tobias' side feeling his bare skin against mine, and promptly fall into a peaceful, uninterrupted sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

When I woke up this morning, I had a killer headache. I even took a couple acetaminophen tablets trying to get some relief, but it only took it from throbbing to a dull ache. Knowing what I know now, I wish the medicine would have taken care of the pain fully because I have a feeling that witnessing three fear landscapes is going to bring it back full force. In past years, Lauren's fear landscape has been used for the initiate's practice run but since she's no longer an instructor, it's unethical to use her fears, so Uriah, Christina, Tobias, and I have to have our fear landscapes mapped. Since I'm pregnant, Tobias called Isobel for her okay but she won't let me take the serum so I'm stuck living three other people's fears. This is something I didn't want to do with anyone other than my husband but I'll step up and just do it.

I'm still not sure why Tobias needs to go through his fear landscape. He has at most five fears, and that number is entirely too low to be used. He joked that we could add the number of our fears together and still have less than the number of initiates. My suspicion is that he just wants to see if there have been any changes so I don't argue with him. I will admit, I'm secretly hoping that he's Four again. I don't like knowing that I've gotten into his head and caused his greatest fear.

My mind drifts over the past couple days while we get the fear landscape room ready for Uriah and Christina who should arrive at any moment. My lunch with Isobel was so much fun. We talked for nearly three hours throughout the meal and beyond, learning about each other. We really have a lot in common. She was born in Candor and has a brother who is one year older. Her husband who is two years older was born in Erudite. They met and fell in love during his final year of upper levels when he was 16 and she was 14. He always wanted to be a doctor so he knew he didn't want to leave his faction so she decided to join his. It was a very long wait for them both until her choosing day. They married three years to the day later. Her parents and brother are still in Candor, and she sees them on a quite regular basis because her father and brother both are treated at the clinic in town for diabetes. She talked a lot about her husband, Carter, and her 4-year-old boys, Jace and Alec. I can't wait to meet them. She showed me their pictures, and the twins look exactly like their father, curly blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. They're very cute. I asked if she thought they would ever have any more kids, and she blushed before telling me that she's nearly three months along and hoping for a girl to complete their family. We set up a double date for a couple of weeks after initiation begins while eating tiramisu and drinking coffee. Carter starts his vacation on the 15th so we plan on meeting here at the Italian restaurant on the 16th.

Before I left for home, I asked Isobel why she had the extra tests done the day before, and she told me that my steadily rising blood pressure has her troubled and that it's better to be safe than sorry. Well, I couldn't help myself and immediately started to fret about my baby but she reassured me and told me that it was her job to be concerned and that it was my job to keep the baby safe and healthy. She assured me that if there was anything to truly be worried about that I would be the first to know but so far all the results she's looked at have been within the normal range, which is good. I have to say, I'm trying really hard not to be apprehensive because I know too much stress isn't good for Peanut but it's really hard to know there's a potential problem and that there's nothing I can do about it.

Yesterday, Tobias and I had our first marriage counseling session with the psychiatrist recommended by Dr. Wilson. The first thing Dr. Amelia Shaw did was give us a questionnaire about the state of our marriage. After grading them, she told us that she didn't quite understand why we were seeking counseling. In her opinion, even though our relationship is young, it is very strong. We explained to her that we've had an extremely rough year. Tobias talked about Marcus' lies about his mother; learning his mother was still alive and had abandoned him; learning about the existence of three additional younger siblings; finding out where Laurel was; Evelyn's death; the custody battle; and Tessa and Tyler's adoptions. I talked about Cameron Wright's deception on New Year's Eve and the attempted poisoning; the unplanned pregnancy; the rushed wedding; the attempted assault in the training room; the kidnapping, memory serum administration, forced wedding, and rape; and getting shot. After we were ensured complete discretion, together we talked about stopping the war on Abnegation; becoming Dauntless leaders; the mess with the potential Divergent lists, although we didn't reveal that we both are in fact Divergent; the trouble with Maria, Erin, and Dr. Young in Dauntless; the mass shooting at the council meeting; Caleb and Dad's injuries; and Mom's kidnapping. After this massive list, Dr. Shaw leaned back in her chair, took a deep breath, and told us that we would definitely benefit from a few couples sessions but she thought that individual appointments would be better suited for us but we both politely declined. We will do anything for each other and our family so we're okay with discussing our shared problems and divulging secrets but neither one of us is comfortable with one-on-one sessions and talking only about ourselves. She asked us questions about a wide variety of topics ranging from our parenting style to our sex life for the remainder of our time together. When she brought up Peter, the kidnapping, wedding, and assault, I tensed up. She asked if it changed our relationship, and Tobias automatically said no but after thinking carefully about her question, I said that it did. Of course, I backpedaled a bit when I realized I hurt Tobias with my answer and let him and Dr. Shaw both know that dealing with the aftermath of that experience strengthened our bond and has given us an even better relationship. Before we left, she gave us a couple pamphlets on communication styles that she wants us to read before our next appointment in one month. We agreed to have six additional visits over the next six months since our situation isn't dire.

When we left the clinic, we didn't go straight back to Dauntless. We decided to take a short detour. First, we shared a banana split at the old fashioned ice cream parlor downtown then headed over to the Navy Pier. We rode on the Ferris wheel first. Each ride we take reminds me that this was my wedding present, and I fall more deeply in love with my husband. This time we kept the ride strictly PG and only made out … a lot! After the second time around we headed to the carrousel for a spin then walked back to the car talking about the memorial service for Evelyn, which is tomorrow morning here at the Pier. Tobias invited Jeffrey and Laurel but we decided against bringing Tyler and Tessa. Tyler doesn't do well at the mention of his birth mother, and even though he hasn't brought up his adoption again, we don't want to traumatize him any more than he already has been. I hope we're making the right decision. Tobias did get word to Edward through a go between he used to communicate with his mother, and several factionless will be there also. They apparently looked to her as a leader of sorts and have been grieving since her death in mid-April. Their presence is another reason I don't want my kids there.

"Hey, guys," Uriah says as he and Christina walk in the room. She's right behind him carrying Liam.

"Hi, Uriah, Christina," Tobias says giving Christina an odd look.

"Don't start, Four," she says. "He keeps me calm, so I want him here for after my fear landscape. Tris, can you hold him while I'm in there?"

"Uh, sure," I say. I guess I won't be attached to the program after all.

"Why do we have to do this again?" Uriah asks. Tobias closes his eyes and groans.

"You know why you have to do this, and you're not alone," Tobias says. "Christina and I will be joining you."

"I'd do it too if Isobel would let me," I say.

"I just didn't think I'd ever have to do this again," he says.

"Tell me, Uriah, is the cafeteria running out of cake one of your worse fears?" I ask with a giggle, trying to lighten the mood and Tobias nearly chokes trying to cover up a laugh. The look on Uriah's face is priceless.

"Did you tell her, Four?" he gasps.

"No, _you_ just did," Tobias says, laughing freely. Christina and I pause, give each other a dumbfounded look, and then burst out laughing. Uriah stands there shaking his head.

"I guess I walked right into that one, didn't I?" he says.

"Running out of cake is one of your _worst_ fears?" Christina says, trying to catch her breath. "That is priceless!"

"I'll kick some ass if any of you repeat that. I don't care who you are. Marlene doesn't even know," Uriah says. "You guys know how I feel about cake. Sometimes that's all I eat. I don't think I would survive if it was ever taken away." I see him shudder at the thought. He's dead serious right now but I can't stop laughing. "I thought you were my friend, Tris Prior." Oh now he's in full on pout mode much like Tyler does. I try my hardest to stop laughing but I just can't stop, and I howl until my chest hurts from the exertion. When I finally regain my senses, they're all staring at me.

"I'm sorry, Uriah," I say, wiping the tears from my eyes. "I don't know what came over me."

"I do," Christina says. "He's hilarious!"

"It's alright," he grumbles then pulls me in for a big bear hug. "I'm sure I'll get you back someday." We all chuckle at that.

"Okay then. Fun time is over. Time to get to work," Tobias says. "Who wants to go first?"

"I will," Christina says. She kisses Liam's little head before handing him to me. I automatically go into Mommy mode when he's in my arms and cradle him just so, swaying my body ever so slightly. Wow, he's so much lighter than Tessa. Maybe I'm feeding her too much. "I'd like to get this over with. This definitely is _not_ on my list of favorite things to do." I watch Tobias administer the simulation serum into the left side of Christina's neck then she walks through the door into the fear landscape room. Tobias kisses the side of my head then disappears into the attached control room leaving Uriah and me in the observation room. Christina stands perfectly still with her head down like she's looking at the floor, her arms held stiffly at her side with her hands balled into fists. The second the simulation begins, she starts to move.

I have every intention of watching what Christina does in that small room but my mind keeps wandering back through my multiple fear landscapes, and it distracts me. One minute I'm watching her looking around the room like she hears something that frightens her, and the next I'm back in my living room while Evelyn takes my beautiful baby girl out of my arms. Liam's cries pull me out of the past. My body has stilled, and he doesn't like it. I put him up to my shoulder, rub his back, and lightly bounce my body the way Tessa likes me to do, and he immediately calms down. I smile brightly realizing I'm really getting the hang of being a mother.

Christina suddenly stops, looks up, and then starts waving her hands frantically in front of her face then stops just as quickly. That must be the moths. I've teased her in the past but I'll never do it again. She looked absolutely terrified. Now I'm watching her walk around the room talking to herself but it's not obvious what fear she's facing at the moment. Even though it's worse than the moths it doesn't seem to be causing her the same type of distress. Next she looks at her hands and releases a blood curdling scream causing Uriah and me to jump and Liam to start wailing. This is probably not the best environment for an infant. I do my best to comfort the little guy but I think he won't calm down until he's safe and sound in his mother's arms. We watch Christina close her eyes, and almost instantly her heart rate goes down. Suddenly she falls to her knees and starts crawling across the floor then lies flat on her stomach until she calms down. She slowly gets to her feet, and I can see she's visibly shaking.

I can't tell how many fears she's faced but she seems to be working through them quickly. I stare at her movements trying to figure out what fears her mind are presenting now. Our fear landscapes are something we really never discussed. I know about moths and becoming factionless but other than that, I'm clueless. I don't even know what her number is. She starts looking around the room like she's lost something and bends over and picks something up and cradles it close to her body. Just as the simulation ends, I realize what that was. Her greatest fear has something to do with the boy who is still whimpering in my arms. She comes charging through the door into the observation room, tears streaming down her face, and takes Liam from me without a word. She holds him close, kissing his head and face almost nonstop. The minute she takes him from me, he calms down instantly.

"I told you he loves you," I whisper in her ear. She grabs ahold of me and cries into my shoulder until she has no tears left to shed.

"I'm sorry," she says, sniffling. "That last fear was horrible. He…" She can't bring herself to say it but I think I know by her actions. Finding Liam dead is her worse fear. Suddenly I'm very thankful for not having to go through her landscape today.

"Go home, Christina," Tobias says, sounding on edge. _When did he come into the room?_ I know it's not easy for him to be privy to everyone's fears. "That's all we need from you today. Do you want Tris to walk you?"

"No, I'm fine now," she says. "I didn't mean to lose my cool. Tell me I don't have to do that again next year." Her last sentence comes out through quivering lips, and I wonder if she's truly okay.

"No," Tobias says. "It's a onetime deal."

"Thank God!" she says. "I'll see you guys later." We watch as she quickly ducks out of the room holding Liam tight and heads toward home. I text Will telling him he needs to check on Christina sooner rather than later, and he quickly responds wanting to know what happened. I don't think I should give the details away so I tell him she had a bad fear and he needs to get home.

"What was that last fear of hers?" Uriah asks, concern on his face. I don't think any of us have seen Christina as broken up as she just was. She's always the epitome of strength, and she totally fell to pieces. Sometimes I hate that we have to face our worse fears.

"I don't think you want to know," Tobias quietly says. "I'm not sure I'll ever get that image out of my mind. I'll tell you this, I wish I could hug and kiss my kids right now. You ready, Uri?"

"Yeah," he says, seeming very stoic all of a sudden. Tobias gives him the injection then he goes into the fear landscape room.

"I'll be attached to the program, Tris. There's no need for both of us to do it," he says. "You're the only one I want seeing my landscape though. I hope that's alright." I nod at him just as Uriah's simulation begins. Tobias hurries into the control room, and I stand back and watch Uriah, trying to guess what he's afraid of. Most of the time he's pacing back and forth in a small section of the landscape room or standing as still as a statue not really giving anything away. Once, he is on his hands and knees crawling around but other than that doesn't give much away. He only makes a noise once, and that is when he screams "no" at the top of his lungs. I glance through the door at Tobias who has a smile on his face, and I know I just witnessed Uriah's true obsession with Dauntless cake. After another couple fears, according to his heart monitor, the lights come back on, and Tobias shakes Uriah's hand and tells him we're done with him today.

"Are you ready to go through yours or do you want to take a break?" I ask.

"Let's go home and grab a bite to eat," he says. "I'm hungry so you must be starving."

"Actually, I am," I say rubbing my tummy. We turn off the lights, lock up the simulation room, and walk the short distance home. It's no wonder I missed that he was going through his fear landscape almost daily earlier this year. We live extremely close. He could easily slip away for 10-15 minutes, and no one would be the wiser. I know I wasn't.

"What do you want for lunch?" he asks as he stands in front of the refrigerator, taking in the leftovers.

"How about sandwiches and soup," I say.

"We don't have any soup, and I don't have time to make any right now," he says as he takes out various ingredients from the pantry, freezer, and refrigerator.

"When's the last time you were through your fear landscape, Tobias?" I ask as I get dishes and silverware out of the cupboards.

"It's been about a month," he says. "I stopped when you asked me to. It's been tough though wondering if the fears have changed."

"It's like you're addicted to your fear landscape," I mutter. "Are you sure we can't just map your last one so you don't have to do this. No one will ever know."

"I understand where you're coming from," he says. "I really do but that isn't very ethical, and _we_ would both know. I promise I won't spiral out of control. I'll go through it this one last time, and that will be that." I put my hand on his arm, and he turns and looks at me.

"Do you promise?" I ask. He lightly caresses my cheek.

"What are you afraid of, love?" he asks. _Everything_. _Nothing_.

"I don't know," I whisper. He draws me into his arms and lowers his lips to mine. He kisses me slowly, softly. I kiss him back with an intensity that frightens me. Tears start streaming down my face.

"Hey, what's going on with you?" he asks holding me tight. I'm too emotional to speak so he just lets me cry.

"I'm sorry," I say. "I don't like that I'm in your fear landscape. I should never be a source of pain for you." He sighs.

"You're not a source of pain for me. You make me happy. I don't know what I would do without you. Please stop worrying about this," he says as he kisses my temple. "Sit down. I'll finish lunch."

"Okay." I sit down at the island and examine how I'm feeling. For some reason I'm all over the place today, one minute I'm up and the next I'm lower than I've ever been. I'm going to chalk it up to the baby hormones. I do my deep, controlled breathing and start to feel better immediately. Tobias slides a plate with a cold turkey and Swiss sandwich, potato salad, raw vegetables and dill dip, and frozen melon balls on it to me. "Thank you. This looks wonderful."

"You're welcome," he says. After he gets us each a glass of milk, he sits down next to me. "Are you feeling better?" I blush thinking about my irrationality.

"Hormones," I say, "I think. I'm really sorry."

"No need to apologize," he says. "Wow, we haven't seen the hormones for quite a while."

"I know," I say with a chuckle. I can tell by the look on his face that he isn't sure if he should have said that or not. I take a bite of my sandwich and moan. "Oh man this is good. I can't believe how hungry I am." We chat throughout lunch, and by the time we head back to the landscape room, we've forgotten about my irrational outburst.

"Are you ready?" he asks me as we're standing in front of the simulation computer entering the data for his fear landscape.

"Shouldn't I be asking _you_ that?" I ask as an illogical anxiety courses through my veins and my head starts pounding again.

"You've never done this," he says.

"You taught me well," I say. "I'll be fine." He gives me a lingering kiss before gently attaching one wire to each of my temples.

"You will be able to monitor my actions on this screen," he says pointing to the display on the left. The giant computer is as tall as it is wide and has three monitors on it. "This screen shows you my heart rate. When it reaches the acceptable level, it will flash green and the program will either move on to the next fear or end depending on which fear it's on. The last screen will give you my time. You can obviously disregard it today. Making it through in a timely manner is not the purpose of this exercise. This is the record button." He slides a finger over a worn blue square button in the center of the console. "As soon as I inject myself with the simulation serum, you need to hit this. Okay?" I nod at him. "Don't worry, Tris." He gives me another quick kiss then walks to the door and picks up the syringe.

"Good luck," I say. We both know what I mean. _Please be Four again_. He smiles and nods at me but it doesn't quite meet his eyes. I think he's anxious about going through his fear landscape again. He injects the serum into the left side of his neck like he's probably done hundreds of times before then turns his back on me. I watch him take a deep breath then disappear through the door into the fear landscape room.


	8. Chapter 8

I take a deep breath of my own and reach over and hit the faded blue record button on the fear landscape computer and see the red light turn green. _Good it's working_. I'm nervous, one, because I've never done this before, and Tobias' wellbeing has been left in my inexperienced hands and, two, I have to live his fear landscape for the second time, and I'm afraid of what I'll see. I watch him standing in the next room on one of the three massive monitors in front of me when everything shifts.

How strange. It's like I'm seeing his innermost thoughts playing out in my mind but I can still make out the computer screens in front of me. It's quite disorienting. I have to make myself concentrate. It's my job to see to it that nothing physically happens to Tobias. He no longer thinks he's standing inside the fear landscape room here in the compound. His mind has him frozen in fear 100 stories up near the edge of the roof of the Hancock Building, wind whipping violently around him. I momentarily wonder how he knows what the top of the skyscraper looks like. He's terrified of heights, and I'm confident he's never been up there. I shake the distracting thought off as I watch him pull himself together and rush toward the edge of the building and jump off. Just before he hits the ground, I see the center display flashing green, and the scene fades away, leaving him kneeling in a completely black space with his head down, trying to catch his breath.

Tobias slowly gets to his feet, obviously knowing what comes next, and I witness a cube appear out of nowhere and form around him, hugging the contours of his body. Panic quickly overtakes him, and he forcefully pushes on the walls to no avail. They don't budge. He looks around with an air of desperation on his face. _Oh, my poor Tobias_. He appears to be thoroughly freaking out right now, like he's in actual physical pain, and then I realize something. I may be _watching_ his fears in my mind but I'm not _feeling_ the same terror that I know he's experiencing at this moment. This is so strange. I watch as he shrinks down, wraps his arms around his knees, and the box contracts with him. He closes his eyes, and I see his heart rate slowly but steadily lower until the screen flashes green, and the box disappears.

"Two down, Tobias," I say, not realizing I'm speaking out loud. "Two more to go, baby. You got this." _Hopefully_. I'm shocked when the scene morphs into our apartment, and I witness me and Tobias laughing, talking, and fixing a meal in the kitchen. I examine his face and, although he looks like he's happy in the moment, I know him well enough to know that he's anxious about what's coming up next. About that time, a beautiful young girl about 12 or 13 with nearly black shoulder length curls, captivating light bluish gray eyes, and dimples I would know anywhere comes running down the stairs followed closely by a slightly older young man dressed head to toe in Dauntless black who looks nearly the spitting image of my husband with the exception of possessing my eyes. I choke back tears. It's Tyler and Tessa but as teenagers. I would recognize them anywhere. When they see Tobias they both stop in their tracks with a look on their face I never want to see again. They look terrified of their own father. I find myself on the edge of my seat waiting to see how this plays out even though he's already told me how he deals with this fear.

"W-we're s-sorry, D-Daddy," Tessa stammers, eyes wide with fear. "We w-won't run d-down the stairs a-again."

"Please don't use the belt," Tyler whimpers, suddenly looking years younger. At his son's words, I see Tobias flinch and glance toward the wall of windows, and I see it. The reflection staring hatefully back at him is Marcus, not himself. It's surreal seeing what he sees.

"I am so sorry that I ever hurt either one of you," I hear him whisper not only in my mind but over the monitor. He closes his tear-filled, pained eyes and begins deep breathing exercises to get his heart rate down, waiting for this fear to pass. I look at simulation me. I'm just standing there. I don't look content or distraught. I don't look concerned or upset. I look … _indifferent_. I know this isn't about me but does he honestly think I would just idly stand by and let him abuse my children?

The apartment quickly disappears, and I don't immediately recognize the barren space that replaces it, although I must admit it seems vaguely familiar. He scans the surrounding area slowly with the same confused look that I know I must be wearing. Are we at the hospital? Just like the confining box in his second fear appears out of nowhere, a bustling emergency room waiting room materializes around him right before our eyes. My heart starts beating in my ears wondering what comes next. Something tells that this isn't going to be good.

"Have you been briefed about their condition yet?" my mom frantically asks, rushing up to Tobias's side with my father. Caleb and Cara are right behind them, tears streaming down both their worried faces. Tobias looks lost and just stands there gawking at her. "Tobias Eaton, so help me God, how are my daughter and grandchildren?" I've only seen my mother look this way once, when she thought she was going to lose my father. She looks worse than terrible. I can tell that she's been crying, and she's trying very hard to hold herself together.

"I-I don't know," he stiffly says. His eyes consistently scan the room but he seems at a loss. He has no idea what's going on. The now very familiar set of heavy-looking oversized wooden doors marked with a no visitors beyond this point sign swings open, and Dr. Wilson purposefully walks into the waiting room, and I tense when I see his face. What the hell is this fear? Tobias has never talked about this, and I suddenly understand, he's never faced this fear before.

"Four, as you know your wife and children were brought in earlier today after an automobile accident, with particularly severe injuries," the simulation doctor says. Tobias gasps at this unexpected news. I knew this wasn't going to be good. "First, I will address your wife's condition. The trauma of the crash made an emergency cesarean necessary because the fetus was in severe distress when they arrived but I'm afraid that the injuries were too much to overcome and neither your wife nor newborn daughter made it. We did all we could to save them." Tobias stumbles backwards a couple steps until he falls onto one of the three-seat couches. He stares up at the doctor with desperate eyes but doesn't appear to be seeing him. My gaze travels along my simulation family's faces. My parents are embracing and both crying soundlessly. My brother looks lost, and Cara is trying to comfort him to no avail. They, too, are devastated. This is hard to watch on so many levels.

"Tyler and Tessa?" Tobias manages to get out barely above a whisper. I make myself look at the doctor and immediately know what's coming next.

"I'm sorry," he says. "They were both DOA." I really don't want to watch anymore of this but I don't have a choice. When I squeeze my eyes tightly shut trying to block the unfolding tragedy from my mind, it only makes the horrifying images clearer. I have no choice but to sink back into my chair and witness my husband's misery and tragic loss. Tobias puts his face in his hands and starts wailing. I've never heard such shredding pain in my life. It's ripping my still beating heart out of my chest. I look at the center monitor, and his heart rate has skyrocketed into the dangerous level. Oh, this isn't good.

"Come on, baby," I stammer. "Calm down and get yourself out of there. I can't watch much more of this. _Please_ calm down."

"I need to see them," Tobias says, regaining his voice. _No, no, no!_ I scream in my head. _I can't see my babies like that. Oh please, Tobias, don't make me witness that. I don't think I could live through that._ The doctor furrows his brows and takes a cleansing breath.

"I wouldn't recommend that," Dr. Wilson softly says, lying his hand on Tobias' shoulder. He looks up at him with wet, pleading, anguished eyes.

"That's my family in there," he whispers, his voice breaking. "I need to see them. I need to say goodbye."

"If you insist, please give us a few minutes to make them presentable," Dr. Wilson says.

"What the hell does that mean?" Tobias shouts, his voice rough with tears.

"Please calm down, son," my dad shakily says sitting down next to my distraught husband.

"I would recommend remembering them as they were, Tobias," he softly says. "No one should see their loved ones that way."

"But they're my family, Andrew. She's my wife. That's my kids, my babies." His agony is palpable. Witnessing it makes me feel like I'm going to be physically ill. I feel the hot tears streaming uncontrollably down my face and know there's nothing that will stop them. Peanut's near-constant movement is the only thing holding me together at the moment.

"I know that, Tobias," he says, trying to stay strong. "They loved you more than anything on this planet. Don't give yourself a negative image to override all the good ones. Remember Beatrice, Tyler, and Tessa healthy, happy, and smiling. That's what they would want." Tobias closes his eyes for a moment and a faint smile lifts his lips for a split second before the suffering returns.

"What about Peanut … uh Teagan?" he asks the doctor softly. "I never got the chance to meet her, hold her. Can I hold my daughter?" I cradle my growing abdomen between my loving arms and cherish every one of the kicks she's giving me.

"I'll take you to a private room so you can be alone with your daughter," he says. I watch my entire simulation family follow silently behind the simulation doctor. My heart pounds painfully in my chest. I don't want to see this.

"We'll wait out here for a few minutes," Dad says. "Give you some privacy." Tobias doesn't respond he just enters the unadorned room and sinks down into the wooden rocking chair. The door opens up and Isobel who looks just as distraught as my family comes into the room carrying a tiny bundle wrapped in a small fuzzy pink blanket.

"I'm so sorry for your loss, Four," she says as she gently places our lifeless daughter in his arms. I gasp loudly when I see her. She is so tiny and absolutely perfect. She has wisps of wavy wheat-colored blonde hair, my nose, and mouth but she has her daddy's ears and lips.

"It's nice to meet you my precious little girl, Teagan Grace Eaton. You look exactly like your beautiful Mommy." He tugs the blanket up around her face. "I don't want you to get cold, sweetheart." He sobs as he holds her tight and I sob as I observe his agony. "You're with your Mommy, brother, and sister. They'll take really good care of you. I wish we had more time but Daddy will see you soon. I promise." The door opens, and my parents walk in. Tobias gets up and gently puts the sacred bundle in my mother's trembling arms. He quickly walks out of the room, down a series of hallways, and out the front of the hospital where he collapses to his knees, running his hands through his disheveled hair. He looks so lost. He's trying hard to catch his breath but his lungs seem to be failing him at the moment. I want nothing more than to run in there and put my arms around him and tell him that it's not real, that I'm right here but I can't.

He finally gets up off the sidewalk, his Four mask firmly in place. I watch him aimlessly wander around for what seems like hours. A new dreadful thought envelopes me ... I hope you can't get trapped inside your fear landscape. Finally he finds himself back at the compound but it does nothing to comfort him. His heart rate is still in the danger zone. He winds his way down to the Pit, ignoring the numerous faceless Dauntless that pass him and stands on the edge of the chasm staring into dark oblivion. I've witnessed so much, I can't watch this too. I detach myself from the program and, thankfully, his fear landscape immediately disappears from my brain. I stare, sobbing uncontrollably at the monitors in front of me and see that his heart rate is higher than it's ever been. He's been in there for less than ten minutes but it felt like an eternity to me. I stare at him on the screen, and I know the moment the simulation ends. He makes a jumping motion then a couple seconds later he turns and quickly moves towards the door.

He comes bursting into the room and stops in his tracks when he sees me. He closes his eyes, in silent prayer maybe, then is at my side in a heartbeat. He pulls me into his arms and I'm safe, I'm home.

"I thought I'd lost you, lost them forever," he says against my ear, voice trembling. "That is the worst feeling I've ever had in my entire life. Worse than the repeated bite of Marcus' belt. Worse than the endless hours in isolation, locked in that small closet. Worse than you walking out on me." He takes a deep breath trying to calm himself. He's running his hands everywhere, feeling me, making sure I'm real. "Something happened in that fear landscape, Tris, that's never happened before. I momentarily forgot it was a simulation, and when I let myself truly feel the loss." He shakes his head and a painful expression flashes across his face. He grabs my shoulders and puts his face in mine, a look of wild desperation in his eyes. "I can _never_ lose you, Beatrice Grace Eaton. I can never lose our kids. It would kill me. I know that without a doubt now. _Please_ don't ever leave me." I run both my hands down his face and softly kiss his lips.

"Baby, I'm not going anywhere," I say, choking back a sob. "I'll never leave you ... _never_." We stare deeply into each other's eyes knowing that this is not a promise either one of us should be making. We live an uncertain life in uncertain times. Death can show its ugly face at any time. Haven't we seen enough of that this past year?

"I. Love. You," he says, each word clipped, powerful.

"I love you, too," I whisper. "Thank you for not going into that room to see them. I don't think I would have survived seeing our children..." I can't say the word. It's too horrible to think but to articulate for all to hear would be tempting fate.

He stares down into my eyes with an unfathomable look of love, and I watch as they deepen into a dark indigo. His look intensifies further and suddenly his warm lips land roughly on mine with a vigor and passion that he's never shown before. His tongue forcefully pushes through my lips and meets mine with a gusto that I willingly return. He holds me tightly, kissing me deeply, passionately as his hands roam freely over my body like he's reacquainting himself with every inch of it.

"I couldn't stand seeing you in that much pain. I wanted to burst in there and hold you," I say against his lips then deepen the kiss even more. He presses himself against me like he's trying to occupy the same space I'm in then jumps back a bit, startled, staring down. I smile.

"She kicked me," he says, disbelief clear in his voice. Newfound tears swim in his eyes. He kneels down in front of me and wraps his arms around me. He kisses every inch of my expanded abdomen and chuckles a couple times.

"I'm not exactly sure what she's doing … somersaults, jumping jacks, practicing kick boxing but she's definitely glad for her Daddy's attention," I say. I reach out and run my fingers through his hair until he looks up at me. His expression is once again unfathomable and it does something strange to me between my thighs. He slowly stands and once again his hungry mouth is on mine.

"Turn around, love," he says. "I want you right here, right now." I don't think twice. I want him. I spin on my toes until I'm facing away from him. I hear him unbutton his jeans and lower his zipper right before he bends me over until I'm holding onto the fear landscape computer. He reverently runs his hands up and down my back, over my behind, and up and down the back of my thighs then lifts my skirt up. He bends over me, molding his body to mine, and I feel his powerful erection against me. I close my eyes and revel in how his arousal makes me feel. His hands find the waistband of my black lace boy shorts, and he slowly lowers them until I feel them around my ankles. I step out of them, and he pushes my legs apart as he sinks to his knees. My entire body quakes with pleasure when I feel his mouth on me. I stiffen my legs to keep from falling to the floor and hold tight to the computer console. I hang my head while I enjoy his hot, wet tongue repeatedly thrusting back and forth into my moist heat. When he starts delicately circling my sensitive nubbin, I throw my head back and come gloriously hard, trying not to crush him with my thighs. He keeps up the ministrations until my knees threaten to buckle then he kisses his way up my back while I pant heavily beneath his magnificent body. He wastes no time in entering me, and the wonderfully full feeling threatens to overwhelm me. He slowly withdraws his manhood from my body, and I moan at the emptiness. After a moment, he enters me again then leaves me just as quickly.

"Please, baby," I pant. "No teasing. Show me how much you love me, how much you need me. God, I need you right now. Fill me, baby." I can feel him smile behind me as he once again enters me then sets a slow, steady in-and-out pace. He wraps his body around mine and circles my nubbin with his finger while he kisses my neck. I toss my head back onto Tobias' shoulder and take in all the sensation he's offering up. God, how I love this man, _my_ man. I push back harder against him, and he increases our pace, pounding into me more forcefully, making me cry out.

"I love you, Tris," he says into my ear as we move together in perfect harmony. The consistent pressure he's placing on my aching bundle of nerves has me on a fast track to my second release of the afternoon and my thoughts are scattered. "I'll never let you go." He moves his hands to my hips and speeds his thrusts further. I hear his uninhibited cry of satisfaction in my ear as I shatter into a million pieces around his pistoning length. I feel his hand move and once again his finger is on my sensitive nubbin.

"Tobias!" I shout as yet another spasm of pure pleasure rockets through me. He knows my body so well, and I'm a slave to his touch. When the final tremor ripples through my body, he stops his welcome assault. We stay as we are, letting our racing hearts calm, and our breathing return to normal.

"That was wonderful, Mrs. Eaton," he says, kissing my neck. I smile then open my eyes. What I see makes me tense immediately.

"Oh God, Tobias," I say, panic rising to a fevered level.

"What is it, love," he pants against my ear.

"We have a camera on us."


	9. Chapter 9

Holy shit! I'm pretty sure that the control room operators just got a free show. Tobias quickly pulls out of me, and we both straighten our clothes then I pull my panties back on. What the hell were we thinking? Oh, that's the problem, we _weren't_. That tends to happen when the slightly irrational, all-consuming, intense need we feel for each other takes over. We forget the time and the place, and all we see is each other. We both know the fear landscape room is monitored. Hell, we never even locked the door, so anyone could have just walked in on us. We lost our heads momentarily. Now all we can do is pray no one saw us. I hear his phone buzz in the suddenly awkward silence. He pulls it out of his pocket, looks at the caller ID, closes his eyes, and groans.

"What is it?" he roughly snaps into the receiver. "Shit! Erase it, Zeke." My eyes glance to the camera, and my entire body flushes violently. At the very least, Zeke has seen us making love. Oh, God! I fall into the chair and bury my face in my hands, humiliated. Tobias turns his back on me and lowers his voice but I can still hear his half of the hushed conversation. "I know it was stupid ... _No_ , it wasn't planned ... We got caught up in the moment ... I had a _really_ bad fear landscape, _okay_? ... _Damn it!_ I don't care. _Erase it_ ... Who saw it? ... Good. Never mention this again ... I swear to _God_ , Ezekiel Raymond Pedrad, if you do I'll kick your ass, and I'm not playing here." His tone worries me, and I look up in time to see him turn toward the camera and gives it his most frightening Four look. "Hey, that's my wife you're talking about ... She doesn't need this embarrassment." He growls into the phone menacingly. "If you _must_ know, I just witnessed my wife and three kids die in a car accident. Tris was monitoring the program so she witnessed it all, too. We were both a little emotional ... Ok _, a lot_ emotional … _What_?" He listens for a moment with a huge frown on his face, and I hear Zeke laughing on the other end of the phone. "Gee, thanks," he mutters. "Bastard." He hangs up and slowly turns toward me, his face just as red as mine.

"Who saw us?" I whisper, wanting to crawl in a hole and die. I wrap my arms protectively around myself but it does no good. I feel … I'm not sure _how_ I feel in this moment.

"Just Zeke," he softly says, sounding just as embarrassed as I feel. "He locked the camera so no one else could access it when he saw what was getting ready to happen. How he happened to be looking at that particular moment I have no idea but part of me is glad he was." He comes to my side and runs the backs of his fingers down my cheek then gently cups my face. "He did see more than I would ever want someone to see. I'm so sorry. We should have waited."

"It's both our faults. We got caught up in the moment," I say, leaning into his loving touch. "We'll just have to live with the consequences."

"My best friend seeing me make love to my wife," he groans. "Not really the consequence I had in mind."

"He watched us?" I whisper, appalled.

"No, he just kept checking the feed to see when we were finished so he could call and chew me out," he sighs.

"I'll never be able to look Zeke in the eye ever again," I mumble covering my face with my hands again. He pulls my fingers away, leans over, and gives me a soft kiss.

"If he ever says anything about it, and I mean _ever_ , tell me. I won't allow him to torture you over this." The thought makes him transform into Four momentarily before his face smoothes out, and he smiles at me then he grimaces like he forgot something. "It's bad enough that I'm never going to hear the end of this. He's already throwing jabs my way."

"What did he say?" I ask and he flushes a deeper red. Suddenly, I'm sorry I asked.

"Which time?" I gasp. "Well let's see, he offered to make us a copy, and he also said I had nice technique," he says with a shake of the head and a roll of his eyes causing me to groan and flush once again. "Come on. Let's get you home, love. You look exhausted. I'll finish up in here later."

"My headache is back, and a nap would be nice," I say. He holds his hand out to me, and I take it. After he locks up the room, we slowly walk back to our apartment in silence, stealing glances at each other from time to time.

"Are you okay?" he asks as we're lounging on the couch, unwinding. Upon returning to the apartment, he immediately went upstairs and got me some more acetaminophen for my headache. I'm leaning up against his side, both my legs swung over one of his. He has one hand resting on my bare legs and the other is playing with my hair.

"I'm thinking of never leaving the apartment ever again," I say as I look up into his face then bury my head in his neck. He kisses the top of my head sweetly.

"I actually was talking about what you saw in my fear landscape," he says.

"Oh!" I think about his question and shudder. "I'll be alright and you?"

"I'm fine now that I know it wasn't real," he says. "How did you feel monitoring me?"

"It was really weird to be able to see what was going on in your mind but still be able to keep tabs on the monitors. It was disorienting. I wasn't expecting that."

"It does take some getting used to," he says. I reach down and hold his hand.

"I tried to close my eyes to escape it but the images just became clearer," I say. "I don't ever want to do that with anyone, even you, ever again." He looks at me with furrowed brows like he's trying to make a decision but doesn't say anything for at least a full minute.

"I make this promise right now, you _never_ have to go through my fear landscape ever again because as far as I'm concerned, I'm through with them. I never want to live that kind of crippling pain ever again. I should have realized how difficult seeing my new fears would be for you. I wasn't thinking when I asked you to do that.

"But I'm not sure I'll be able to keep you from experiencing fear landscapes ever again, Tris. You're a member of leadership and an initiate instructor. Those two positions ensure that at some point in the future you will be back in the fear landscape room hooked up to that computer. But I swear it will be different than watching someone you care about. You know me, _love_ me. When you witness my fears, you live them right alongside me. I know this from experience. When I've watched your fear landscapes, I felt everything right here." He points to his heart. I never really thought about how he feels witnessing my fear, and it makes my heart ache that much deeper for him. "It isn't something I enjoy, watching you face your fears. I knew that the first time I put you into a simulation." He caresses my cheek with the backs of his fingers. "I loved you then. But with others, it's nothing more than a routine part of my job. That's not saying I don't feel for what they're going through, I'm not a monster but it doesn't touch my heart like it does with you."

"I understand," I say, resigning myself to the fact that his was not the last fear landscape I'll ever have to live through. "I shouldn't have suggested it. I know it's part of my responsibilities but what I sat there and watched you go through today nearly tore my heart out. It was awful, Tobias."

"I'm sorry, love," he says.

"I don't think it's a good idea to do it again while I'm pregnant. That was too much stress for Peanut." I rub my belly lovingly.

"I agree with you on that," he says. "We'll sit down with Tori, Will, Harrison, Uriah, and Christina when it gets closer to the second phase of initiation to see who will do what. We definitely don't want to hurt the baby." I imagine that terrible image from his final fear is running through both our minds. He leans over and softly kisses my abdomen then sits back.

"Why do you think your fears have changed so much since you met me?" I shyly ask.

"You've changed everything about me," he says. "Why not my fears?"

"I hate that I can hurt you," I whisper, dropping my eyes to my lap. "I never want to hurt you. When you're in pain, I'm in pain."

"I feel the same way," he says.

"Why do you think you're still afraid of heights and confinement?" I ask, peaking up at him.

"I wish I could answer that," he says. "I think the fear of heights is just a fear that's built into me naturally. No external source contributed to it so I imagine it will always be a part of who I am."

"Have you been to the top of the Hancock Building before?" I ask, the sudden desire to know the answer to this question flames bright. His fingers still in my hair, and he looks at me like I'm crazy. A giggle escapes my lips. "That's what went through my head when I saw you up there. I knew you were terrified, and I felt bad for you but I kept wondering if you had maybe been drug zip lining and just didn't tell me." He smiles and relaxes into the couch once he understands my question.

"I've never been zip lining even though Zeke has been relentless in trying to get me to go. Luckily, I've always had an excuse. You're the only one who knows I'm afraid of heights," he says. "As for knowing what it looks like, I've seen it more than a dozen times in initiate's simulations usually centered on a fear of the zipline breaking." He pauses for a moment then continues quietly. "What were you thinking about during my other fears?"

"Well, that box in your confinement fear is … _weird_. I don't exactly know how to explain it. It's aware, like it's breathing almost." He furrows his brows at me. He thinks I'm crazy again. "It hugs you as tightly as it can but it also moves when you move. I bet if you were to relax you could make it larger but you're so tense and afraid that it hugs your body. Of course, I didn't notice it when we were in it together. I only recognized it as an observer."

"You had other things on your mind then," he says with a trace of humor in his voice. "I remember you were trying to act nonchalant but your heart was racing, and it wasn't from fear."

"No, it wasn't," I say with a blush. "My heart was hammering in my chest because I was so close to you. That was the first time I was in your arms." He suddenly wraps his arms tightly around me and nuzzles my neck. I can't help but smile. "It was all so new and overwhelming. It terrified me. It's no wonder you were in my fear landscape at first." We stare at each other for a moment before he continues.

"What about my next fear," he says, his humorous good mood gone.

"I still don't understand this fear, Tobias. You're not Marcus. We both know it," I say with a sigh. "But do you want to know what really has me baffled and kind of pissed off?" He looks taken aback by my tone. "Do you honestly think I would stand by and do absolutely nothing and let you abuse my kids? I watched simulation me stand there, indifferent as hell while my son asked you not to use the belt on him. I was dumbfounded." My voice breaks as I remember the looks on Tyler and Tessa's faces.

"That was about me not you," he slowly says. He hangs his head looking ... ashamed.

"Are you 100% sure about that?" I ask. "Why am I even there? I know you're scared of becoming your father, which is an absolute impossibility, like I've told you _countless_ times but your mind has drug me into it. Why do you think that is?" He furrows his brows and a faraway look overtake his eyes.

"I've never looked at it that way before," he says. "I have no idea what that means. Try not to let it bother you." I sigh.

"I'll try not to," I say. "I know you can't be fearless. That's not what I want for you but I wish you would believe here," I press my hand over his heart, "that you're not your father. I wouldn't allow it."

"What about that last fear?" Remembering him cradling Peanut in his arms, so tiny and so still brings on a new wave of choking sobs. "Hey, hey! I thought you'd be happy I'm not Five anymore," he says, trying to lighten the mood but his voice breaks slightly as he pulls me into his waiting embrace. He holds me close, stroking my hair.

"I'm thrilled you're Four again," I sniffle, trying to wipe away the escaping tears but they're falling faster than I can dry them. "What do you think that fear means? Is it just about death?"

"I don't think so. I think the new fear is a combination of the two it replaced," he quietly says. Yeah, my death and my walking out on him. "I think deep down I'm terrified of losing you, Tris, and the kids." This is all my fault. I've hurt him so much. I'll never forgive myself for this. Why in the hell did I have to walk out on him like I did?

"It kills me that I walked out on you. It was immature, selfish, impulsive, and wrong on so many levels. Tobias Eaton, there is nothing – _nothing_ – you could ever do to me that would make me leave you. Do you know why? I love you entirely too much to needlessly hurt _myself_ in that way. I can't live without you. I don't _want_ to live without you. What can I do to make you believe that?"

"I _do_ believe you, love," he says. "This isn't your fault. Please don't think that."

"I swear I'll make this up to you if it's the last thing I do," I say, burying my face in his chest.

"Beatrice Grace Prior-Eaton," he sternly says, pushing me away so he can look into my eyes. Wow, it's been a while since he's used my full name and never with that tone. I drop my arms to my lap and look up at him. "We aren't going to do this to each other. We aren't going to torture each other over something that isn't even _real_. You're not going anywhere. I'm not going anywhere. I'm never going to harm our children. I'm never going to harm you. I don't know why that damn simulation keeps showing me the same shit over and over."

"You're angry," I whisper, glancing shyly up at him. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"Oh, God! I'm not mad at you, love," he says, dragging me back into his arms, looking appalled at the idea that I have upset him. "It's the damn fear simulation. I'm _sick_ of it. It's been playing with our minds for far too long. You and the kids are my life. I know you won't leave me. We have too much to lose for either of us to commit such a betrayal. I know I will never leave you because you are just too precious to me. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I didn't have you by my side in this life. I love you. I didn't know it was possible to be this consumed with someone. Please don't let this stupid simulation program make you feel so bad. My fears are not your fault." I don't know if he's lying to me or to himself but I'll let it go for now. Maybe this guilt I feel is something we can talk about with Dr. Shaw. He holds me close to him whispering that everything's going to be okay in my ear.

"My heart was aching for you," I softly say when we've been silent for a while. "I felt your pain like it was mine. When you held Peanut," I choke back a sob, "I absolutely lost it. I don't think either one of us would recover if something like that were to really happen." Tears are once again freely falling down my face. He puts one hand on my abdomen and I move it to where she's been kicking. We press our hands into my flesh waiting for her reaction but she's quiet right now.

"I'm not sure I ever want you driving anywhere," he says. "I know it's irrational but..."

"I know," I say. I lift my head until his lips find mine. He kisses me passionately.

"I was so scared," he murmurs against my lips. "I knew the minute I saw your mom, dad, and brother in the simulation that something bad was coming but I didn't want to let myself feel it." Peanut's movement parts us, and we smile at each other. He cups my face with both his hands, wiping the final tears away with his thumbs.

"When you were wandering, I got scared that you would get stuck in there," I say. "That's not possible ... is it?"

"Not really," he says. "There's a disable button but it's so rarely used that I forgot to show it to you."

"You need to show me which one it is the next time we're there," I say. He threads his fingers through mine, lifts our joined hands, and kisses them softly. "I've got to finish up in the fear landscape room. Are you going to be okay here?"

"Yeah," I say.

"Before I come home, I'll go get the kids from daycare."

"Oh, there's something I should have told you before we left," I say. "I hope I didn't screw anything up but I unhooked myself from the program while you were staring into the chasm. I'd watched so much already, I couldn't watch that too."

"It's okay," he says, running the back of his fingers down the side of my face. "No one actually has to watch the simulations. It'll be fine."

"I'd like to go with you but I need to rest and see if this headache will go away," I say. I pull his mouth to mine and press my lips against his. I kiss him slowly until the passion builds then I let him take over. He thrusts his tongue deeply into my mouth, searching mine out. We let them tangle as the power behind the kiss deepens to a new level of intensity and intimacy. He groans against my lips right before he pulls away. He rests his forehead on mine as we both try to catch our breath.

"I better go before I lose total control and take you right here on the couch." Oh! He pushes himself away from me, kisses my temple, gets up off the couch, and saunters over to the door. He opens it and looks over his shoulder at me. "I'll see you later!"

"Tease," I shout after him, shaking my head as the door closes behind him.

 **Bonus Chapter (Zeke's POV)**

"God, I'm bored," I say out loud to the four sterile white walls of my office that seem to be closing in on me today. I'm leaning dangerously far back in my rickety old office chair, tempting fate. Maybe if I crashed it would make for an interesting day. I've already checked all the scheduled outlying cameras for any signs of trouble but everything is quiet, as usual. I'm not complaining really but my time goes a lot faster when I'm scanning surveillance footage looking for a perp. I'd never tell anyone this but those months I was constantly on the lookout for Cameron or one of his goons was the best time I've had since I chose to work in the control room on choosing day nearly three years ago. I know this is an important job but nothing ever happens.

I decide to flip through the compound cameras for any signs of trouble or maybe for something interesting. Once in a while you can catch a full-fledge soap opera unfold in front of your eyes on these monitors. Most Dauntless don't know there are cameras so it makes it pretty interesting the things they do. Before I took over for Four, Dante, Samuel, James, and I would scan the feeds looking for unfolding drama, and drama we would find. I remember this one night a man running across the crowded Pit floor naked as can be, attempting to hold his pants over his swaying junk but failing miserably. The guys rewound the footage and saw him sprinting out of a hallway with what looked to be an angry husband on his heels. I nearly pissed my pants I was laughing so hard. Sometimes I miss my old carefree position.

I pick up my phone to bother Shauna, when something catches my eye on the surveillance before me, and I go back a couple screens. Tris is sitting in the fear landscape computer room by herself, and she looks like hell. _Are those tears?_ I can see that she's hooked up to the computer by the glazed over, faraway look in her eyes. That look has always given me the creeps. Suddenly, I watch as she rips the leads from her temples and cries inconsolably while she stares at one of the monitors in front of her. _What the hell is going on?_

Four comes charging into the small control room from the landscape room and stops dead in his tracks. Shit, he looks like death warmed over. I hope everything is alright between the two of them. If it's not, they have a lot to lose … their marriage, their family. No, something else must be happening. A previous conversation suddenly pops into my head. Earlier this week he told me that he, Uri, and Christina have to map their fear landscapes because they can't use Lauren's anymore for the initiates. That obviously must be today.

He quickly moves to Tris and pulls her out of the chair and straight into his arms. Damn, they're both bawling. This is so unlike Four. He's never emotional, well at least he's not in front of us. I know he's different with her, I've seen it. But this has to be out of character for him. Tris, on the other hand, has been a bit hormonal lately because of the pregnancy. At least that's what Shauna tells me it's from.

I watch as Four and Tris continue talking, and their conversation looks pretty intense. I don't know how either one of them is concentrating on what's being said though with the way he's running his hands all over her body … and I do mean all over. "Get a room," I mutter to the monitor in front of me. I notice that their deep conversation intensifies further, and I'm not surprised when I watch him grab her and shove his tongue down her throat. I know I shouldn't be watching this but I can't tear my eyes away. It's like I'm witnessing a horrific train derailment and can't stop scanning my surroundings for the gruesome casualties. I type my security code on my keyboard and lock the camera so it cannot be accessed until I think it's safe. I know he's not stupid enough to take things further … is he?

Suddenly, he jumps away from her like she shocked him, and I'm glad he's come to his senses but then he does something I'm not expecting him to do. He slowly drops to his knees in front of her and puts his arms around her waist. _You fool!_ I hope he at least locked the door. I don't want to see what's going to happen next but as I'm turning away, he surprises me by worshipping her little belly with hundreds of kisses, and I relax a bit. She's got to be the cutest pregnant woman I've ever seen, just a little round bump out in front. I've seen some who never recover. I'm never knocking my lady up, no way. Tris starts running her fingers though his hair, and he looks up at her with such love and adoration pouring out of his eyes but then the look changes subtly, becomes darker, and I know what he's thinking. _No, no, no!_

He stands up and is kissing her fiercely again. I briskly stand up, and the office chair rolls across the room and noisily crashes into the wall. He turns her around and bends her over the landscape computer. _Are you kidding me?_ I start pacing back and forth, running my hands through my hair, which is in desperate need of a cut. _What the hell's gotten into you?_ I glance at the screen and wish I hadn't. He sinks to his knees behind her, never taking his hands off her, and peels her panties off. _Seriously, Four! You go down on your girl in full view of a camera? What the fuck? My eyes, my eyes!_

No, I will not watch this. It's not right on so many levels. Hopefully, he'll give her a quick orgasm then they'll go home or somewhere where a camera isn't pointed in their faces … well _her_ face. Maybe I should call him and tell him, "Surprise! You're on Candid Camera. Put her panties back on." I pace from one wall to the next, diligently keeping my eyes away from the screen. Are they done yet? Maybe if I just took a little peek. _Oh damn!_ Why did I have to see that? Four's going to gouge my eyes out for this. She just tossed her head back and screamed out. I know what that means. Fuck, I'll never be able to look at sweet little Tris the same way again. Please be done, please be done. Just go home for fuck sake. Nope, they're not going home.

"Fuck, Four," I say out loud. "What … the … hell? You're not this stupid, right? Don't do it, man, don't do it. Oh, son of a bitch." He's screwing her in the fear landscape room. I flip the off switch on the monitor. I should have done that long ago. God, I feel like a skeevy perv. My whole body shivers in distaste. I need a shower … and maybe some hot shower sex with Shauna. _Stop it, Zeke!_ I shake that thought off. This is a horrifying experience not an arousing one. I'll never get these images of my best friend and his wife out of my head ever. _Maybe if I had a cheese grater?_ Who knew my straight-laced, former Abnegation friends are freaks. Before right now, I would have guessed missionary style, once a week, in bed, lights out. I'm going to make him talk to me about this sometime … _after_ I'm no longer traumatized by it.

After I've paced a couple minutes, I wonder if he's done banging her yet. He can't last that long. I flip the switch on the monitor. Nope. _God! He's the Energizer Bunny._ Maybe I should be jealous. Oh, these images will be seared into my brain for eternity. How the hell do I get them out? I turn off the monitor and wait. When I turn it back on it's obvious that they're done and trying to catch their breath. He says something that causes her to smile right before kissing her neck. She opens her eyes, and they lock with mine.

"Oh, that's right, sweetheart," I say, fluttering my fingers at the monitor. "You forgot about the camera." The look on her face and then his makes me feel sorry for them again but only momentarily. I wonder what the hell they were thinking. They weren't obviously. They move away from each other quickly, putting things back where they belong. I look away from the screen as she slides her underwear back on. I think this is my cue to call him. She looks at him as he pulls his phone out of his pocket. He looks at the screen and closes his eyes. I'm sure he knows why I'm calling.

"What is it?" he spits into the phone.

"Ooh, touch a nerve, did I? Well too bad," I say with a humor in my voice. "I'm not the one caught screwing my wife on camera for the entire control room to view. You worked here for two years, dude. Do you not remember the camera placements?" I'm never going to let him forget about this for as long as I live.

"Shit! Erase it, Zeke," he says. I see Tris timidly glance at the camera, and her whole body goes red. I feel bad when she falls into the chair and buries her face in her hands. I promise I'll never tease her about this but her horny husband is fair game. Four turns his back on the camera and lowers his voice. I don't think he wants her hearing this conversation.

"I'll erase it when you guys leave," I say. "You might want to clean up any _evidence_ you left behind." His back may be to the camera but I can see the humiliation he's feeling in the way he's holding his shoulders. I should give him a break but this is priceless. Mr. Perfect Abnegation himself getting caught having _sex_ on camera. I'm sure he thought the roles would be reversed someday. "You do know you're an idiot, right?"

"I know it was stupid," he says.

"Please tell me it wasn't planned," I say.

" _No_ , it wasn't planned," he says like he thinks _I'm_ the idiot. "We got caught up in the moment."

"That was a hell of a moment," I laugh.

"I had a _really_ bad fear landscape, okay?"

"And because of that you bend her over the fear landscape computer? Seriously Four! Not too smart."

" _Damn it!_ I don't care. _Erase it._ "

"I will, I will. Jeez! Keep your pants on. Oh, for the love of God! _Keep …_ your … pants … on." I see him shake his head in exasperation.

"Who saw it?" he asks.

"Relax, it was just me," I say. "I locked the camera when clothes started being displaced and checked the monitors to see when you finishes so I could call and give you some shit."

"Good," he says sounding somewhat relieved. "Never mention this again."

"Hey, I could dub you off a copy for your personal collection before I erase it," I joke. " _Four and Tris Do The Fear Landscape Room_."

"I swear to _God_ , Ezekiel Raymond Pedrad, if you do I'll kick your ass, and I'm not playing here." He turns toward the camera and gives it one of his patented Four stares but I just laugh to near hysterics. I gasp for breath and wipe the escaped tears from my eyes. _Now_ he remembers where the camera is! "Hey, that's my wife you're talking about."

"Yeah, sorry," I say remembering my pledge to not tease Tris.

"She doesn't need this embarrassment," he says. _Did he just growl?_

"You should have thought about that before slipping her your willy in clear view of a camera. Why the hell would you do that anyway?"

"If you _must_ know, I just witnessed my wife and three kids die in a car accident. Tris was monitoring the program so she witnessed it all, too," he says, distressed. "We were both a little emotional."

"I'd say it was more than a little."

"Ok, _a lot_ emotional."

"There's something I really need to say before I let you go," I say, sounding as serious as I can.

" _What_?"

"You have really good technique," I tease then start laughing like a fool.

"Gee, thanks," he mutters. I think I hear him call me a bastard as he hangs up but I can't be sure. It takes me a while to stop laughing and wrap my head around the situation. This is just so absurd. Four and Tris having sex on camera, who would have thought. When they finally leave the room, I press the bookmark key then I take the video back to Four coming out of the fear landscape room to find Tris an absolute mess and place another bookmark. With the magic of one keystroke, I erase all the footage from bookmark to bookmark. I rewind the feed again and the offending images are now gone forever. I send a quick text to Four, "Sex tape has been erased!" and look at the time. Time to go home. Oh great! Now I'm feeling horny and need to have some sex of my own with my lady. I reach into my pocket and text Shauna!


	10. Chapter 10

I lie down on the couch with a wet washcloth over my eyes in an attempt to rid myself of this throbbing headache. I'm truly surprised the sex Tobias and I had earlier didn't help but I guess the humiliation of being caught on camera actually made it worse. I fall into a peaceful sleep for about half-an-hour and finally wake feeling refreshed and pain free. I glance at the clock on the wall and know that Tobias will be leaving to pick the kids up from daycare soon, so if I leave right now, I'll be able to join him. I'm giddy at the thought of seeing my babies. It's been such a long, stressful day. They are sure to put a smile on my face.

It doesn't take me very long to make my way back to the fear landscape room. I notice that I have a trepidation I've never felt about entering this room but Tobias and I have talked about his fear landscape and how it makes us both feel enough to last a lifetime so I shrug off the uneasy feeling. I try the doorknob but find it locked. He must be in his office. I go back down the hallway I just came from and go straight to his office. I don't bother to knock, I just let myself in. He's so absorbed in whatever it is he's doing, he doesn't even notice my arrival. I lean back against the door and watch him for a time then decide to sit on the couch. When the leather groans at my weight, he looks up startled.

"Hey," he says, wide eyed. "How long have you been here?"

"A few minutes," I say.

"You look like you're feeling better," he says, running his eyes over my body.

"I took a quick nap, and it helped," I say. "What are you doing?"

"Entering the data from today's fear landscapes into the mapping program. I think we might use some fears from each of us instead of just one persons. It only seems fair to me."

"That does sound like a good idea," I say. "Can I see what you're doing?"

"Sure," he says. "Come here." I cross to his desk, and he pulls me down onto his lap. He puts his head on my shoulder and wraps his arms around me. "I'm taking all the data from today and entering it into our digital personnel files. It's mundane work but necessary."

"I could do that for you," I say turning my head to meet his steady, intense gaze. He gives me a quick peck and rubs my belly lovingly.

"That isn't necessary but if you really want something to do, you could file these," he says, leaning us forward then handing me a manila file folder. I get off his lap and flip through its contents. Its paper copies of the data he retrieved from the fear landscape computer and some miscellaneous data and notes. I read over Christina' and Uriah's fears as I'm filing them away in their personnel records. It seems Christina is afraid of needles, thunder and lightning, being attacked by a dog, large bodies of water, moths, exposure, blood, falling into the chasm, a train crash, becoming factionless, being a bad mother, losing Will, and her greatest fear is Liam dying. Uriah is afraid of being out of control, the factionless, worthlessness, running out of cake, dying, getting trapped by an earthquake, his family's death, commitment, and his greatest fear is rejection. _Commitment and rejection both?_ _How strange._

"Should you be reading those?" he asks with a grin on his face, staring at me. I blush. He once told me that it was a great responsibility being privy to others greatest fears. Now I feel like I was snooping.

"Uh … I … oh," I stutter, slamming the file folder shut.

"I was kidding, Tris," he says. "You can look at them." He gives me an apologetic smile for flustering me.

"Oh," I say smiling back at him. He draws me back onto his lap after I finish my filing. I relax in his arms. There's really no place I'd rather be. "Let me ask you something. How do you know Uriah is scared of being out of control? How does that present itself? I'm picturing him running around like a chicken that just lost its head." He wraps his arms around me and laughs rather loudly in my ear. "So glad I amuse you."

"I'm sorry, love," he says against my ear then he kisses my neck sending a shiver down my spine. "Hana gets sick and there's nothing Uriah can do for her. He has no control."

"How do you know it isn't fear of his mom getting sick?" I ask. "Or of losing her? Why control?"

"The same way I know you're not terrified of crows. I've been doing this long enough to recognize the subtleties," he says. "Plus, it isn't always Hana. It's also been Zeke, Marlene, and once even … you."

"Me?"

"I think he had a bit of a crush on you at one time," he says.

" _No_ ," I say, my mouth hanging open. "I don't believe that."

"I could be wrong but I saw how he looked at you during initiation. I think he would have been happy if you'd been interested in him," he says. I twist in his lap so that we are eye to eye.

"You sound jealous, Tobias Eaton," I say, shocked at his thinking. I take his face between my hands. "You've never had anything to be jealous of. There's only been you. There'll only ever be you. You know that." I give him a slow, lingering kiss.

"I know," he says, his lips still pressed against mine. Once he pulls away he asks, "Any other questions?" He knows me so well.

"Yeah. I do have some more questions. So when it says Christina fears exposure is that exposed as in naked? I've dreamt of being naked in upper levels a few times so I know how that goes." I shudder at the memory.

"No," he chuckles then blushes. "I haven't seen that as a fear in my two years doing this but I imagine it could pop up at some point. Like your crows, there are some fears that are subtle and harder to figure out. I'm not sure that exposure is even the correct term for what she experiences. At some point the four of us need to sit down and we need to give our take on our fears. But anyway, it's related to her childhood in Candor. She doesn't want everyone looking at her. When people do, she feels exposed. It's actually kind of strange."

"That might have something to do with not wanting to go through Candor's initiation," I say. "I think she even mentioned that it leaves you feeling exposed, like you're walking around naked."

"Most fears are transparent though," he says. He runs one hand to my lower back and starts gently rubbing it. How did he know it's hurting?

"What do you mean transparent?" I ask.

"Just that. If I say someone is scared of rabbits, I mean _literally_ terrified of cute little furry bunnies. I've seen it before, I'll see it again. Not everyone's minds works like yours or Uriah's. I've learned something about this with Tori's help. Every initiate who is found out to be divergent has less transparent fears than their counterparts. Why do you think that is?" I shrug my shoulders at him. "If you think about it, what _honestly_ was your greatest fear during initiation?" I don't hesitate.

"Being found out that I'm Divergent," I say. I furrow my brows at him then my eyes get really big. "Why didn't that show up in my fear landscape?" And why have I only now thought of that?

"It's only a theory but we think a Divergent brain protects itself," he says. "Maybe manipulating the simulations isn't the only thing we're able to do. You're quite extraordinary, being immune to most serums. We think that a Divergents brain is hardwired differently. But it's only speculation."

"You might be right," I say. "I can't believe I never thought of this before." He starts kissing my neck as he continues rubbing my back. "What are you doing, Tobias?"

"I'm trying to seduce my wife. Is it working?" God, his mouth feel so good. I close my eyes and lean into him, and I feel his lips turn up into a smile against my skin.

"We already made love today, and we got caught," I mumble. "That will _never_ happen again … _ever_. From now on it's only in our bedroom."

"I think I can persuade you," he says. I shake my head but his mouth feels so good.

"We should go get the kids," I murmur, trying to break this captivating spell he has on me. I go to get off his lap but he tightens his grip on me, keeping me in place.

"I have something else in mind, love," he says, nuzzling my ear with his nose. Damn he's good. Much more of this and I won't be able to resist. I start squirming uncontrollably in his lap when he caresses my full breast, and he groans loudly. He moves his hands to my hips and stills me. "You better stop that unless you want me inside you this instant." I gasp. "You're killing me, Tris." I feel his hardening manhood against my bottom, and a moan escapes my throat, but I shake my head and manage to clear it. We can't do this. I won't allow it.

"Tobias, no," I say, shaking my head. He immediately stops kissing me. "We can't do that here, not now. Please stop. We have just enough time to get to the daycare center and pick up the kids. Later when we get home. I promise." He stares heatedly into my eyes as he moves me off his lap. My legs feel like jelly so I clutch the side of the desk to keep from falling to the floor.

"Are you okay?" he asks, his voice husky with arousal.

"You're not playing fair. We let things get carried away earlier because we we're both feeling emotionally charged from your fear landscape and were filmed having sex. I know there's not a camera in here but I'm not going to take a chance like that for some time. I love you, and I do want you but not here."

"I'm sorry," he says, bashfully. "I'd say I wasn't thinking but the problem is I was thinking with the wrong part of my body. I'm a shit for asking you to have sex here so soon after getting caught by Zeke." He stands up right in front of me and stares down into my suddenly wide eyes. "But know this, love. I'm not giving up on our lists." Oh, our lists. I'd forgotten about them with everything that's been going on the past month or so. "The fear landscape room wasn't on mine but my office is. And one day I will make love to you on my desk." I gasp before his lips softly touch mine. He slowly moves his mouth with mine, gently coaxing it open with his tongue. We let our tongues dance then right before he lets me go, he captures my bottom lip with his teeth, giving it a playful little tug. He moves his mouth to my ear and says, "I look forward to being inside you tonight." He captures my head between his hands and gives me a swift, quick kiss. "Let's go get our kids. I really need to see them." I look up at him, dazed. I lost my ability to think straight when he whispered in my ear. He takes my hand and leads me out of his office, locking it behind us.

"Thank you," I softly say about halfway down the path. He furrows his brows at me, not knowing what I'm grateful for. "For stopping." His look becomes incredulous.

"Did you think I would force you?"

"Oh, God no," I say, appalled at the direction his thoughts took him. "I'm thanking you for not talking me into it, which you could have easily done. Maybe you don't know how much power you wield over me but I have a hard time telling you no." His look smooth over.

"I shouldn't have done that in my office … or the fear landscape for that matter," he says putting his arm around my shoulder. "And you can always tell me no."

"The problem is, I don't want to," I say. He chuckles and kisses the top of my head. I change the subject from sex and fear landscapes to our weekend plans on the remainder of our walk to the Pit, making us both a lot more relaxed.

"I can't wait to kiss the kids," he says. "Do you want to go to the cafeteria or pick up some food and take it home?" I look up at him, seeing if I can read his face. I'm not ready to face Zeke but should we really put it off? Ugh! I don't know.

"Let's grab some take out and spend a quiet night at home with the kids," I say. He smiles knowingly at me but doesn't mention Zeke or my reluctance to see him. I open the glass door to the daycare center and find Tyler pouting in the timeout chair. I take a deep breath and sigh. What's he done now?

"Hello, Mrs. Wheeler," Tobias says. When Tyler hears his father's voice he hangs his head. "Why is Tyler in the timeout chair?"

"He took toys away from Zane, Mia, Emma, and Elliott today," the daycare teacher says. "He was given multiple warnings but his behavior continued. He was told he had to sit in the timeout chair until you came to pick him up. I'll go get Tessa for you."

"Thank you," I say. Tobias and I stand staring at our son. I'm surprised when Tobias picks him up out of the chair identical to the one we have at home and holds him tight, hugging him close. Tyler clings to Tobias and starts crying. Mrs. Wheeler comes back carrying our daughter who smiles brightly when she sees me. I take her and give her a big kiss.

"Let's go home," Tobias says. "Mrs. Wheeler, we'll address Tyler's behavior with him tonight. Hopefully, we can get to the root of this problem. Thank you."

"Thank you, Four," she says, sounding relieved. I've witnessed other parents scold the daycare teachers for disciplining their children, thinking they do no wrong, and I find that behavior atrocious. Tobias and I will teach our children that their behavior, whether they are with us or not, will have consequences. We stop at the commissary's hot food counter and pick up some Chinese food. Even Tyler likes it. We don't say much on the walk home. I carry Tessa and hold Tyler's hand while Tobias carries the two bags of food. I steal glances at Tyler trying to figure out his mood but he's not giving anything away. I don't know how a two-year-old can hide his emotions so well, but ours can. I look up at Tobias, and his face is wearing an identical expression to Tyler's. I should have known.

Tessa's not hungry when we get home so I pull her swing over into the kitchen and put her in it. I set the timer, and she's out like a light in less than five minutes. We decide to eat first then talk to Tyler. We eat from a variety of dishes and savor every bite. After we put the leftovers away and clean up the kitchen we go into the living room. We usually watch movies on family night but that would be too much of a reward for Tyler so Tobias turns some music on and puts it on as background noise.

"Mommy," Tyler says, pulling on the end of my skirt to get my attention.

"Yeah, buddy?" I ask as I sit down on the couch next to Tobias.

"I bad today," he says matter-of-factly. "Mia and Emma cwy."

"Why were you acting badly today?" I ask, lifting him onto my lap.

"I wanted the toy," he says with a sigh. "They no give me when I ask so I taked it."

"Mrs. Wheeler told us that you took toys away from Mia, Emma, Elliott, _and_ Zane," Tobias says. "She also told us that you were given plenty of warnings to stop but you ignored her and had to sit in the timeout chair."

"They had the toy I want so I taked it," he repeats, pouting forcefully.

"You have to learn to share, young man," I say. "You don't take toys away from someone else no matter how much you want to play with them. That isn't being nice. How would it make you feel if Zane took the toy you were playing with away just because he wanted it?" He looks at me confused. "It would hurt your feelings or maybe even make you mad I bet."

"Did you apologize to Mia, Zane, Emma, and, Elliott?" Tobias asks.

"No," he quietly says.

"First thing Monday morning when Mommy and I drop you off at daycare you are going to say you're sorry to your friends," Tobias says. "If you forget, I'll remind you. Tyler Aaron, I don't want to walk into daycare and see you sitting in timeout ever again. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, Daddy," he says. "What I do when I want toy?" Persistent little cuss.

"You find another toy someone is _not_ playing with and play with it," I say. "There's lots of toys to play with at daycare. Or you could look at a book or color. But you must _not_ take toys away from your friends. If you do that a lot, the other kids won't want to play with you anymore, and I don't want that for you. I want you to have lots of friends." I wrap him in my arms, and we cuddle until Tessa starts crying.

"I'll get Pebbles. You stay here," Tobias says as he gets off the couch. She's still cranky after she's changed into a dry diaper and sleeper so I know she's hungry.

"Why don't you sit with Daddy," I whisper in Tyler's ear. "He had a very rough day and really missed you." He gets off my lap and waits for Tobias to hand me Tessa then climbs up on his lap. I immediately begin nursing my girl, and she calm right down.

"Sometimes I'm so jealous," Tobias quietly says. I know my eyes nearly bug out of my skull at his statement but he smiles at me. "Of you, being able to feed her. I'm not jealous of our daughter, although…" He lets the innuendo hang in the air as he stares at my naked breast, and I shake my head at him. Our long, exhausting day is starting to catch up with me, and I lie my head on the back of the couch and close my eyes. A rhythmic swaying of my body makes me open my eyes, and I find Tobias carrying me up the stairs.

"What's going on?" I ask. "Where's Tessa?"

"Tyler and Tessa are both asleep in their rooms," he says as he gently lies me on my side of our already turned down bed.

"How?" I'm so confused it's disorienting.

"I finished her feeding with a bottle after you fell asleep," he says. "You were dead to the world. She was pissed at first, and I'm surprised she didn't wake you up. You just grunted and curled up into a little ball." He gets into bed and I roll toward him, cuddling up against him.

"I should go check on her," I sleepily say with a wide yawn.

"She's fine, love. She finished eating, I gave her a bath, and I put her to bed," he says. "Go back to sleep. Tomorrow's going to be a long day also."

"What about sex?" I mumble. I'm barely conscious but my earlier promise echoes in my head, and I don't want to disappoint him.

"I'd love to have sex but it would hurt my pride if my wife passed out while I was trying to pleasure her," he says with a chuckle. I feel his lips in my hair, and I try to smile but I think I'm too far gone now. "Sleep now. I love you."

"Mmm," I murmur before drifting further into sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

"Mommy, Mommy, Mommy," Tyler quietly says, patting my cheek. I slowly pry open my heavy eyelids and find my 2-year-old's gloomy bluish-gray eyes looking at me expectantly.

"What is it, buddy?" I whisper, sleep still thick in my gravelly voice. I glance at the alarm clock on Tobias' nightstand and see that it's not quite 5 a.m., and I groan inwardly.

"I had bad dweam," he whines, a deep-set frown on his little face. "Sleep with you. _Peas!_ " Oh, my poor boy.

"Of course," I say, lifting the new lightweight sky blue blanket. It's too hot for the quilt this time of year. "Come here." He scales the side of the bed and snuggles into my chest. I smooth the blanket around us and hold him close, kissing his head comfortingly. "Mommy loves you. Go back to sleep, my big boy. You're safe now." It doesn't take Tyler long to fall back to sleep. I gently caress his hair and stare into his now peacefully slumbering face. It's such a miracle that he looks like Tobias instead of Ethan, not that that would have made me love him any less. I glide my fingertips down his cheek and wonder what haunts his dreams. I've tried to get answers before but he thankfully doesn't remember any details. He just wakes up feeling scared and comes seeking comfort from me or Tobias. Thank, God, the nightmares don't happen very often or it would kill me.

I try to go back to sleep but my mind drifts to all the things we have to do over the next couple days. I'm sure we'll have a great time at the Candor or Dauntless party tonight … _if_ we make it. We have Evelyn's memorial and the scattering of her ashes at the Navy Pier later today. Tobias has been pretty apathetic about it but I think he's just hiding his pain. If it's too emotional for him, we'll just have to bow out of the party. The kids are spending the night with Mom and Dad again tonight so we have to drive to Abnegation, and then Tobias and I are meeting up with Caleb, Cara, Mom, Dad, and the kids at the park tomorrow for a barbeque and family time. It's going to be the last time we can really get together and spend some quality time before initiation starts on Monday.

I hear Tessa's peaceful cooing turn into fussing over the baby monitor and gently move Tyler until he is snuggled up against his father. I drape Tobias' arm protectively over his son and kiss both their slumbering faces. I manage to get out of bed without waking either of them and go into the nursery. I pick Tessa up, and she's wet through her diaper and sleeper and soaked the sheet.

"Did you have a bad night, little one? I'm surprised you're not screaming your head off," I say as I strip her out of her soiled sleeper and dirty diaper. I wash her with wipes and put a clean diaper on then sit us the rocking chair. She immediately lets me know that she's hungry so I put her to my breast. "I love you, Tessa Beatrice. Eat, my beautiful baby girl. I sure am sorry that I fell asleep while I was feeding you last night. Mommy was physically and emotionally drained but you got to spend some quality time with Daddy. I bet you both liked that." She watches me as she nurses, never taking her eyes off mine. I smile and talk to her the entire time, occasionally stroking her soft curls. There have been times over the past 11 weeks that I wondered if she knows who I am but I'm now confident in our bond. She knows I'm her mommy. "Mommy and Daddy are going to say goodbye to Mommy Evelyn today. I may not have always gotten along with her very well but I'll always be grateful to her because she gave me three of the most precious gifts. She gave me your daddy, Tyler, and you." Movement catches my eye, and I look up to find Tobias leaning against the doorjamb, a look of strong love in his bright eyes.

"Good morning," he says.

"Good morning," I reply.

"There's a stowaway in our bed," he says with a smile, and I chuckle.

"He had a bad dream so I let him in bed just before 5 a.m. this morning. He fell back to sleep rather quickly after we cuddled for a bit," I say. "Hey, will you change the crib sheets for me please? She was soaked when I picked her up." He saunters across the small room and strips the mattress. He looks around and sighs. "What?"

"There's something I've been meaning to talk to you about but I've never known how to broach the subject," he says. This makes me nervous.

"What is it?" I ask. Apprehension rolls over me, making me dread what he wants to talk about. He puts the sheet in the hamper and kneels down in front of me.

"I think we need to look at getting a bigger apartment," he slowly says. My mouth pops open in surprise. "We're quickly growing out of this place, Tris. Obviously Peanut will sleep in our room for a while after she's born like Tessa did but then where do we put her? There's no way that two cribs are going to fit in here. Tyler's room is the exact same size so switching them will do no good. And what if we want another child at some point in time? Where would they sleep? I know bunk beds are an option once they get older but I think we should look for a bigger place." I can tell that he's incredibly nervous about broaching this subject. I look around the room and know exactly what he means. I've had the exact same thoughts but dismissed them as quickly as they entered my mind. This is our home. How could we leave?

"I've had the same thought about needing more space," I sigh. "I hate the idea of leaving though, Tobias. This is our _home_. So much has happened here." I reminisce about the first time I walked through the door. I immediately knew I was home, felt it in my heart. I'm sure no other place will feel like that.

"I think we should at least check out apartment 15 before we dismiss the idea all together," he says. "Maybe we can look at it before the party."

"Okay," I say. "Looking won't hurt." He kisses Tessa's head then gives me a soft, swift kiss before getting a clean crib sheet out of the dresser. "Thanks for doing that for me."

"She's my little mess maker, too," he says with a grin.

"I love you, Tobias Eaton," I say. "Are you ready for today?" He takes a deep breath then blows it out hastily. I see doubt and confusion in his eyes. "It doesn't matter what she did, she was your mother. On some level you loved her, and it's okay to grieve." He closes his eyes and for a split second I see the lost little boy standing in his father's house staring hopelessly out the window, and my heart aches for him. "I'm here for you. Whatever you need. You know that." He opens his eyes and gazes at me with a deep look of love.

"I better start breakfast," he says, shaking off the melancholy. "Are you close to being finished?"

"She's slowing down," I say. "Do you think I feed her too much? She's getting kind of chubby."

"She's not chubby. I think she's beautiful just like her mommy," he says leaning down and tenderly kissing me once again. "How do pancakes, eggs, and sausage sound?"

"You're reading my mind, Mr. Eaton," I say, my mouth watering at the thought of food. "I'm so hungry this morning."

"I'll get on it but first I'll check on the stowaway." Within a minute I hear little feet on the hardwood floors and know Tyler is awake. They must make a detour to the bathroom first because I hear the toilet flush.

"Hi, Mommy," Tyler says as he walks into the room. He comes to the rocking chair, rests his chin on his hands, and looks up at Tessa. "Hi, Tess. You eatin'?" My sweet boy sure does loves his sister.

"Yes, she's almost done," I say ruffling his hair. "Why don't you go downstairs with Daddy? He's going to make pancakes, scrambled eggs, and sausage." His eyes light up at the mention of food and turns to catch up with his dad. "Are you about done, little one? Mommy has to use the bathroom." She releases my breast and laughs out loud. "Are you laughing at me? Am I that funny?" I try to latch her back onto my nipple but she's obviously full now. I put her in her freshly made crib after she burps and run to the bathroom. I take a two minute shower after reliving myself and dress in the simple black sleeveless swing maternity dress I hung behind the door last night. I go back into Tessa's room, and she rolls over and smiles up at me, cooing contentedly the entire time. "You are quite the talented little girl, aren't you, happy baby?"

I carry Tessa downstairs and sit down at the island with her on my lap. She relaxes into my embrace and puts her hand on my tummy. Peanut has been very active this morning and picks the exact same moment to kick where Tessa's hand is resting. At first she seems startled by the movement then she starts laughing … _loudly_. Every time she puts her hand down the baby kicks making her laugh again. It's like they're playing a fun little game. Tyler takes notice and wants to feel his little sister moving in my tummy so I turn my body and put his hand where she's been kicking, and she immediately stops moving. He frowns at me. After another minute, I move his hand down a little bit and to the right and his eyes light up, and he grins from ear-to-ear.

"Baby moving," he excitedly says with wonder in his voice.

"I know," I say. "She's been practicing her kickboxing moves all morning!"

"I love you, baby," he says as he leans over and kisses my belly where his hand just was. I lean over and kiss the top of his head. Oh, how I love my family.

"Breakfast is served," Tobias says as he puts one plate in front of me and another in front of Tyler. He takes Tessa out of my arms and puts her in her swing so that I'm free to eat. Everything's so good as usual. He's such a wonderful cook. We're very lucky.

After we finish breakfast, Tyler plays with his trucks at the base of the stairs and Tobias cleans up the kitchen while I give Tessa another bath. She just had one last night but with how wet everything was in her crib this morning it just seems like the right thing to do. She's all smiles throughout her bath then I dress her in a new outfit I bought earlier this week during a free moment. She's growing like a weed and a lot of her clothes no longer fit. The white peasant dress with a pink and black floral design on the front, lightweight black denim diaper cover with ruffled leg openings, and black patent leather Mary Jane's with little heart cutouts is one of the cutest outfits I've bought for her, and when I put her hair into two little ponytails on top of her head with black Velcro bows, she looks absolutely adorable. I cuddle her close kissing her everywhere, her head, cheeks, tummy, arms, and she starts laughing again.

"I'm glad to hear her good mood has been restored," Tobias says. He must be remembering her crankiness from earlier this week. "No offense to your parents but I hope she comes home happier this time."

"It's only overnight instead of an extended weekend," I say. "She probably just missed us. I'm sure she'll be fine this time." I turn around and am dazzled by my husband in his black and dark gray various-sized-stripped fitted crewneck t-shirt, snug-fitting black jean, and black faux alligator ankle boots. I drag my eyes from the top of his head to the tip of his boots and back again. Damn he looks good. "You take Tessa, and I'll finish getting ready." He smiles at me and takes Tessa from my arms. He puts his mouth on mine and gives me an explicit I-know-what-you-were-just-thinking kiss.

"Can't wait for later," he says leaving me breathless and wanting, then he turns his attention to Tessa who is smiling up at him. "Aren't you the cutest little thing ever? I could just eat you up. Mommy did a good job with this outfit, Pebbles, and I love your ponytails." I gaze at them for a while, watching my husband talk with our daughter who is laughing at him. What a difference a year makes. I step over Tyler and make my way up the stairs to finish getting ready. I put on light makeup and style my hair before deciding which shoes I want to wear today. I finally decide on my basic black ballet flats that go with anything after trying on several pairs. Heels looked nice also but I want to be comfortable today. Well as comfortable as I can be at a memorial service for someone I despised, surrounded by several factionless. I put my charm bracelet on then think twice about it. I wouldn't want anything to happen to it so the only jewelry I have on is my engagement and wedding rings. I check myself one final time in the full-length mirror then go into Tyler's room. I pick out a new black, dark gray, and white striped polo shirt, black denim shorts, and black boat shoes for him to wear to Grandma and Grandpa's. I call out for him to come upstairs. First, I give him a bath and then help him get dressed.

"You look very handsome, Tyler," I say as I comb his damp hair. "Are you excited to spend the night with Grandma and Grandpa?" He nods his head animatedly. "Remember the rules?"

"No wun in the house," he says. "Be good boy."

"Very good, buddy," I say, thoughtlessly picking him up. I feel a strain in my lower back muscles and immediately put him down. I sit down in his rocking chair, and the relief I feel is instantaneous. "Can you do something for me?" He bobs his head up and down. "Will you come sit on my lap? I want to talk to you." He hesitates for a split second then comes over and climbs up onto my lap with a little help from me. He wraps his arms around me, and I hug him close. I've missed this, just him and me in his quiet room. We rock in comfortable silence. Lately, he only wants to snuggle like this when he's really tired or has gotten into trouble so this is a real treat. After a long silence, I pull him away from me and he looks up into my eyes. "I need to talk to you about something," I remind him.

"I in twouble 'gain," he pouts.

"Not at all," I say. "It's about Mommy and the baby." I run my hand over my abdomen to emphasize which baby I'm talking about. "I'm afraid that I can't carry you around anymore until after she's born." He frowns at this news.

"Why?" he asks pouting, his feelings obviously hurt.

"You're getting to be such a big boy. It's hard for me to carry you with the baby growing in my tummy," I say peppering his head with kisses. "Mommy's back really hurts her when she lifts you."

"You have an ouchie?" he asks, so serious. I love that he loves me but I don't need my 2-year-old needlessly worrying about me.

"Yeah, I do," I say. "But it doesn't hurt as bad if I hold your hand and walk with you instead of carry you."

"I like you cawwy me," he says, moping.

"I know you do, buddy, and I love it too but we can snuggle anytime you want. Mommy can't carry you until after your sister is born. Okay?" He lunges at me, accidentally kneeing me hard in the stomach.

"Be careful with Mommy," I say rubbing where his knee painfully connected. Little tears well up in his eyes and his bottom lip starts to quiver.

"I huwt baby?" he asks.

"Hey, hey, buddy. No, no! Oh, please don't cry," I say wiping away his escaping tears. "You didn't mean to hurt Mommy. It was just an accident. I know that but you need to be careful of your little sister in here."

"I sowwy," he mumbles, holding onto me for dear life. I hold him as he cuddles lovingly with me, neither of us saying a word, both of us drinking in the moment.

"We have to be going," Tobias quietly says from the doorway.

"Okay," I say. He eyes us suspiciously. "Is everything alright in here?"

"Everything is fine," I say. I help Tyler off my lap and slowly get up.

"Everything is _not_ fine. What's wrong?"

"I had to explain to Tyler that I can't lift him or carry him until after Peanut is born," I say. "I picked him up, I felt a sharp pain, and my back really started hurting. Sitting down helped. I think I'll have to go to the salon for a spa day. I really need a massage."

"I could do that for you," he says as he buckles Tessa into her carrier.

"I'll probably take you up on your offer sometime but I can lie flat on this special table at the salon," I say. "It's divine. I didn't know I would miss lying on my tummy but I do."

"Was he okay with your announcement?" he asks as we walk to the garage, him hauling Tessa in her seat, all coos and laughter and Tyler walking contentedly between us, happily holding my hand.

"He wasn't happy at first. I think he feels a bit left out. I see how he looks when I pick up Tessa. But when I told him my back hurts, he became very concerned and asked if I had an ouchie," I quietly say with a smile.

"He'll be fine," he says. "He looked pretty darn happy snuggling with you as you rocked him."

"I need to put him to bed more often and rock him while I read him a story or something," I say. "Maybe I should let you start giving Tessa a bottle before bed once in a while. You look a little left out yourself when I'm tending to her needs." We buckle both the kids into their car seats and head toward Abnegation. This trip has become so routine, I imagine I could drive it myself with my eyes closed.

"I'm not jealous of what you have with our daughter," he says. "But I'd be lying if I said I didn't want that closeness you have with her."

"I do 99% of her feedings, Tobias," I say. "Of course, we've bonded but I've watched her with you. You have nothing to worry about. She's going to be a Daddy's girl."

"And Tyler's already a Mommy's boy," he says.

"Mommy's _big_ boy," Tyler states quite emphatically. Oops! We need to watch our conversations if little ears are listening to us.

"That's right, buddy," I say, turning to give him a big smile. "I love you."

"Love you," he says, then goes back to his numbers picture book. I meet Tobias' amused gaze, and we both laugh lightly. After another 15 minutes, we pull up in front of my parent's place and get the kids out of the car. My father greets us before we even make it to the door and helps by getting the diaper bag and travel sleeper out of the trunk.

"Hi, Mom," I say as we come in the front door.

"Good morning, Beatrice," she says before giving me a hug. "Hello, Tyler. Give Grandma a hug." She picks him up and gives him a huge bear hug, which he happily returns full force. "I know I only saw you six days ago but I think you've grown."

"Mommy can't cawwy me," he says, pouting. Mom looks my way with curiosity in her eyes.

"It hurts my back when I lift him," I say. I hear the sadness in my own voice.

"Mommy has ouchie," he says holding his arms out toward me. I reluctantly take a step closer to him, but he only wants to he give me a sloppy, wet kiss right on my mouth. Those really are the best kind.

"Do you have any acetaminophen?" I ask my mom.

"I sure do," she says putting Tyler down. "I'll get you some. Please make yourselves at home."

"Tris, love, I think Tessa's hungry again," Tobias says, holding a very crabby Tessa in his arms. I look at the clock.

"Already?" He brings her into the living room and hands her to me. She's really fussy, trying to shove her entire fist down her throat, and now that she's in my arms, repeatedly turning toward my chest. Hhm? This dress is definitely not made for nursing.

"I'll get her a bottle," he says sensing my dilemma.

"Wait a minute," I say as Mom comes back into the room bringing me two caplets and a glass of water.

"Thank you," I say. "Four, do I have time to nurse her?" Tobias looks at the clock and nods. "Mom, can I use a bedroom upstairs?"

"Of course," she says. "Caleb's old room has a rocking chair in it."

"Thanks," I say. "We'll go as soon as she's finished, Four." I carry her up the creaky stairs to my brother's old room, happy, contented memories of my childhood flooding back. When I open the door, I halt in my tracks. Gone is his simple gray desk replaced by a small plain pine bookcase with a few games, a puzzle or two, and a smattering of gently used toys. This is so unexpected and very un-Abnegation-like. I lie Tessa in the middle of the twin size bed and never taking my eyes off of her, lift my dress off over my head. I lay it on the bed making sure it gets no wrinkles then pick up Tessa who thankfully never moved from the center of the bed. I sit in the rocker, lower my nursing bra, and put her to my breast. She starts suckling greedily like she's never eaten before. My poor hungry little one. She must not have gotten enough earlier. I hope no one comes in while I'm partially nude, nursing my daughter. That would be embarrassing. I think about getting a blanket out of her diaper bag but remember I left it downstairs. Oh well. I gently rock us as she nurses. She falls asleep after 15 minutes. I put her to my shoulder and pat her back trying to get her to burp, and finally after five minutes she lets out a burp that would make Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo blush. I lightly pinch her little cheek like Isobel taught me to do when she was newly born to wake her, and she easily latches onto my other nipple but has trouble staying awake. "Do you want to eat or sleep?" I pinch her cheek again after about five minutes but she's down for the count. I fix my bra and try to get another burp out of her but it's hopeless, she's out like a light. I lie her down on the bed, put my dress back on, and pick her back up. I watch as she desperately suckles at the air as I walk downstairs, wondering what she's dreaming about. I hope she's still not hungry.

"Is everything okay?" Tobias asks when I enter the living room.

"Yeah," I say. "Mom, if she's hungry when she wakes up from her nap, you can give her a couple ounces. She had trouble staying awake." I hand Tessa over to my mom after I lovingly kiss her sleeping face. After I hug and kiss Tyler and tell Mom and Dad goodbye, Tobias and I head to the Navy Pier. I can tell that he's nervous about this informal get together but he needs to say a proper goodbye to his mother. He wasn't ready in April when the factionless held her funeral but he needs closure.

We closed down the Navy Pier this morning so we don't have to contend with a lot of strangers. It's Tobias' intention to sprinkle half her ashes at the carrousel today and the remainder at the train yard with Tyler when he gets older. I thought that was a kind gesture; one day Tyler will want to honor his birth mother. We pull into the small gravel lot across from the Pier and park the car. Ours is the only one in the lot. When I meet Tobias at the back of the car, I feel anxiety pouring off of him in waves. I wrap my arms around him, resting my head against his chest, and he immediately wraps me up in a warm embrace. After a quiet moment I look up at him.

"I love you," I simply state as I stare into his wistful, uncertain eyes. "Anything you need, _anything_ at all, I'm here for you … today, tomorrow, forever." He releases his hold on my body and cradles my face between his hands. I tilt my chin up, and he immediately finds my seeking lips with his. Our kiss is searching, profound, adoring. I experience all the love he feels for me in this instant pouring into this kiss. He leaves me breathless and stares down into my eyes while caressing my cheeks lovingly with his thumbs.

"I love you," he softly says before his mouth finds mine once more for a slow, tender kiss. "Thank you. I think I'm ready now." He removes the small box that holds half of Evelyn's remains from the trunk, and we walk hand-in-hand to the carrousel where the small group of people we are meeting were told to be waiting for us. When we come around the corner, people are gathered around two men dressed in gray standing with their chests puffed out like game cocks, staring each other down. The tension is palpable.

"Marcus, Ethan? What are you doing here?" Tobias asks, dramatically changing into Four right before my eyes.


	12. Chapter 12

Tobias gazes harshly at Marcus and Ethan who are still standing nearly nose-to-nose, menacingly staring each other down. I'm confused by the scene unfolding in front of me. What are they doing here? I momentarily wonder if Tobias forgot to tell me he invited his father _and_ Evelyn's lover to his mother's memorial service but it seems rather unlikely.

"Did you invite them?" I squeak, my voice high with anxiety. I ask the question knowing full well what the answer will be. They obviously found out about today's events somehow and invited themselves even though neither one of them is wanted here.

"No." Tobias recovers from the shock of seeing the unwanted guests and drops my hand. He walks through the invited guests to where Marcus and Ethan are facing off and asks, "What's going on here? Why are you here?" They don't move and don't take their eyes off each other. "I expect an answer." He's playing the part of Four well on a day he shouldn't have to. I walk up beside him and put my hands on my hips like my mom does when something really displeases her.

"Ethan Black!" I forcefully say. He finally tears his eyes away from Marcus and looks at me. "Four asked you a question. What in the hell are you doing here? You of all people were _not_ invited."

"I need to be here," he says indignantly. "You know how much I loved her. She was my world. I've been lost without her. I _need_ to say goodbye." The nerve of this man. Does he even know how wrong this is? I glance in Jeffrey and Laurel's direction and wonder if they have an opinion about their birth father staying. I study their faces carefully and think that embarrassment is the prevailing emotion I see. They're so lucky to have the Walsh's. I sigh.

"Yes, I know how you felt about my mother-in-law but that doesn't give you the right to just show up," I say. "You could have called me or Four and asked if it was alright to attend her memorial service."

"You would have said no," he grumpily says. I'm immediately taken aback. The stubbornness that Tyler has just recently began to show is a trait Ethan Black exhibits freely in this moment. For the first time since I met my adorable Tyler, I see his biological father in him.

"You have no idea what we would have said because you didn't give us a chance to think about it," I say.

"You're right," he says. "I'm sorry." _You should be_.

"Does _Ellie_ know where you're at?" Tobias hatefully spits. Ethan Black is without a doubt the one man I know who Tobias hates. For as much distrust he has for his father, Marcus _is_ his father, and he loves him on some level, although I know there are days he wishes he could hate him. Ethan glares at Tobias momentarily before remembering his Abnegation teachings. He bows his head and ignores Tobias' question. That poor woman. At least she grew a backbone for one day and made sure Tyler ended up with the parents who truly loved him and not with the man who was just looking for a way to hang on to his murky past.

"Marcus?" I say, turning my attention to my father-in-law. When he looks my way his expression softens, and I furrow my brows at him. I don't trust his newfound self-awareness. Something I can't put my finger on tells me he's playing us. "Why are you here?"

"Beatrice, I came to pay my respects to the only woman I ever loved, my wife and mother of my son," he says sounding sincere. "Like I told you and Four earlier, I can't change what I did in the past but I want us all to have a brighter future. I would like to stay if you would allow it, son. Perhaps your mother is looking down on us right now in hopes that we can put our past behind us." Tobias looks at his father, legitimate distrust in his haunted eyes. He looks from Marcus to Ethan and back then sighs. I think he's going to say something to them but he turns and walks over to his brother and sister who are waiting with their family.

"Hi guys," he says. "Do you mind if my father and Mr. Black stay for the service? If their presence here is too disruptive, I can make them leave."

"I'm fine with them staying," Jeffrey says. "What about you, Laurel?"

"It's okay with me," she says, sweet as can be. He nods at them then returns to where Marcus and Ethan are standing. Thankfully now they are looking anywhere but at each other. Maybe they're embarrassed but I doubt it.

"You're both welcome to stay," he says. "I have absolutely no idea why but she loved you both at one point in time. But remember this, today is about her … _for_ her. It's not about either of you. If you make another scene, you will be asked to leave, and I won't be nice about it either." He moves away from our uninvited guests to those who were, and says his hellos. I must say I'm fairly shocked at who all is standing around us. Besides Jeffrey, Laurel, and their adoptive parents and brother, there is Edward, Myra, Drew, Molly, and several factionless I've never seen before. I'm even more surprised that Edward and Myra appear to be together once again as evident by their joined hands. The last time we saw him, he told us that he and Myra had broken up. I walk up beside Tobias, and he puts a protective arm over my shoulder.

"Hello, Edward, Myra" I say. "It's nice to see you again."

"Good morning, Tris. I was just thanking Four for today's invitation," Edward says. "You didn't have to do that but I for one am glad you did."

"You seemed to be closer to Evelyn than I was," Tobias says. "Tris and I talked it over. It seemed like the right thing to do."

"Molly, Drew, I didn't know you knew my mother-in-law also," I say, trying to be civil.

"Oh, every factionless person knew Evelyn," Molly says. "She helped with the struggle of becoming factionless after Dauntless threw us out." She sounds bitter. Part of me wants to tell her that Dauntless has changed and that if we had been in charge last year then they would have had a place amongst the warrior faction but the greater part of me knows that she and Drew were not and _are_ not the type of members Dauntless needs now so instead I decide to say nothing. From the corner of my eye, I see a man dressed in Amity colors approach us. He puts his hand on Tobias' shoulder and leans in to say something but it's too low for me to hear.

"I'll be right back, Tris," Tobias whispers in my ear, then he kisses my temple.

"Okay," I say to him. I watch him walk away with the carrousel operator.

"Can we call a truce, Stiff?" Molly asks. "I was caught up in Peter's spell and his quest to be 'king' of Dauntless," she says putting air quotes around the word king. "I lost sight of who I was and who I wanted to become. Evelyn made me see that." What the hell? Was she some sort of cult leader or guru? Why does everyone think that woman was a saint? Not me. I knew the real Evelyn Eaton. She was a hateful, vindictive woman who left her precious son with a monster to save herself. What kind of a mother does that? No, she was no saint, she was an evil witch. Nothing can ever be said to me to make me forgive her. She hurt Tobias, and if you hurt my Tobias you're nothing to me.

"Me too, Tris," Drew says. I see a ragged scar running along his left jawline from his ear to his chin and am reminded of why Myra left Edward. He nearly beat Drew to death. I wonder if this is a souvenir. "Let's put the past behind us." Funny, neither of them are actually _apologizing_ for what they put me through during initiation but I guess I can be civil for one day. Although I do have a very strong desire to punch Molly in her not so pretty face and toss Drew from the top of the Ferris wheel, I decide to shake it off for now.

"Well, we only have to endure each other's company for today," I finally say. "I can put the past behind me this morning if you're both willing."

"Thanks," Molly says eying my expanding abdomen. "Married and a baby on the way. What a difference a year makes, huh, Stiff. How far along are you?" I sigh heavily so she can tell that I'm not happy with the unflattering moniker she continues to use for me.

"Almost 26 weeks," I say.

"When did you two start dating?" Drew asks. His question makes me uncomfortable but I don't know why. He could be making simple conversation but it seems like he's fishing for information. I can't help but wonder if they're up to something. When did I become so suspicious? Oh, yeah! Probably the multiple times people have tried to kill me in the past year.

"Just after initiation ended last year," I say being cautious.

" _After_? We saw you kiss him right after the rankings were announced," Molly says.

"I figured I might as well go for it, and I'm thankful every day that I took that chance," I say. Yeah, they're up to something, and I won't have my happiness in their hands. "It could have blown up in my face but luckily he liked me, too."

"I've told her several times that she's owned my heart from the moment she jumped into that net," Tobias says, coming up beside me. He sounds too much like Four even though his words are kind so I glance up at him, and he's glaring at Molly and Drew. "I had no idea she felt the same way about me until she kissed me right there in the middle of the cafeteria. It was my lucky day. Does that answer your questions?" They both shy away from Tobias' powerful gaze, and I can't help my smirk.

"Hi, Beatrice, Four," Laurel says, coming up to our side. I turn my back on my old initiate rivals.

"Hi, Laurel," Tobias and I say at the same time. She runs her eyes over Edward, Myra, Molly, and Drew who are all dressed mainly in Dauntless black but with splashes of the other faction colors revealing their factionless status to the city.

"How are you doing?" I ask.

"I'm fine," she says. "A little sad though." She wrinkles her nose up, and it takes my breath away momentarily. Tessa makes that exact same face. "I was hoping Tyler and Tessa would be here."

"They're with their grandparents," Tobias says. "Tyler is too little to understand what's going on today, and Tessa's just a baby. I wouldn't want today's events to stress them out."

"Laurel," her mother softly says coming to our sides, "I would feel better if you would come over with Daddy and me." She looks hesitantly toward the factionless that have gathered not that far away. Tobias, Laurel, and I move to where her father and brothers are patiently waiting.

"Mr. and Mrs. Walsh, Four and I are meeting my parents at the city park tomorrow. Would you be opposed to Jeffrey and Laurel stopping by so they could spend some time with Tyler, Tessa, and Four?"

"If they want to go, I won't stop them," Mrs. Walsh says.

"Thanks, Momma," Laurel says. "I look forward to getting to know my brothers and sister better."

"I'd like that, too," Jeffrey says.

"I wanna go, too," their little brother, Aaron, says.

"Aaron can come also, if you don't mind," Tobias says.

"Please, Momma," Aaron says. "I wanna go, too."

"We'll see," she says.

"I'm sorry for the delay," Tobias says, addressing Mr. and Mrs. Walsh. "We'll be starting after I have a quick word with my wife." The entire family respectfully bow their heads at us before we turn and walk away.

"Was everything okay with the misfits?" Tobias asks as he looks towards the small crowd of factionless. Misfits! That's a great name for them.

"They were asking questions," I say. "It's possible they were just making small talk but something didn't seem right. As you could tell they were questioning when we started dating."

"Just Molly and Drew, right?"

"Yeah," I say. "We should probably get this underway. The natives are getting restless." I notice all eyes are on the two of us.

"Is it too late to change my mind and cancel?" he asks.

"You'll be fine, Tobias Eaton," I say. "Say goodbye to your mom. You need this, baby. I love you."

"I love you, too," he says, leaning over to give me a quick, tender kiss.

"Can I have everyone's attention?" Tobias says and everyone quiets down and looks his direction. He's standing stiffly in front of the carrousel holding the small box that holds half of Evelyn's ashes. He doesn't like what he deems unnecessary attention, and I can hear the nervousness in his voice, although I'm confident no one else can.

"We're here to celebrate the life of my mother, Evelyn Johnson Eaton. She wasn't perfect … far from it in fact but she was my mother. Every relationship has its fair share of good times and bad, unfortunately for us the bad outweighed the good. I was very young when my mother left me. I was misled for years and told she had passed away during childbirth. I mourned her loss and that of my baby sisters every day for seven years until one day nearly three years ago when Evelyn showed up very much alive. You see, my mother chose to leave me, to put her needs above that of her own flesh and blood. Part of me cannot fault her for that decision but the bigger part of me hated her for it and pushed her away. Seven short months ago we reconnected under unusual circumstances, and I got to know the woman who gave birth to me all over again. Secrets and lies were revealed, and I can honestly stand here right now and say that I didn't like Evelyn Johnson Eaton, the woman, for so many reasons that don't need to be listed here today.

"But even after all that … I loved her very much. I didn't think I did … I didn't _want_ to, but my beautiful wife, Tris, made me see that I do. When I was a youngster, I viewed my mother as the only beckon of light in the rocky, unpredictable sea that was my childhood. I fondly remember her bringing me to this very place to let me be a normal little kid for a few wonderful hours every couple weeks. She taught me how to turn special everyday moments, like gazing upon my sleeping daughter's peaceful face or hearing my son's magical laugh or staring into the eyes of my one true love and turn them into a precious lifetime memory. Later when we reconnected, she gave me a beautiful, selfless gift that is very precious to me – my two oldest children Tyler Aaron and Tessa Beatrice. For that I will always be grateful to her.

"We may not have had a storybook relationship but I do miss her every day. So, to honor my imperfect but cherished mother I'm spreading her ashes in a place we enjoyed together, the carrousel." Tobias turns around and we step onto the carrousel along with all our other guests. The operator flips a switch, and it slowly starts to turn. Tobias kneels down and unhurriedly empties the contents of the box, and we watch the particles drift on the wind until they all settle in their final resting place. Tobias and I sit on a refurbished pale green and blue ornate bench. He looks down at me on the verge of tears. I knew today was going to be hard for him. I pull him into my arms and he lies his head on my shoulder. He silently sobs into my neck for the remainder of the peaceful ride.

"Are you okay?" I quietly ask him before we exit the ride.

"I will be," he says. "Thank you for being here with me. I know you didn't like her but thank you for allowing me to love her."

"She was your mom," I say. A bad one but that's beside the point. "Of course you love her. I'm glad you finally admitted it to yourself so that you can grieve properly."

"I love you," he says.

"I love you," I say. He grasps my face between his large, caring hands and kisses me tenderly. He smiles when he lets me go.

After we exit the ride we go to the same tent where our wedding reception was held. We sit around listening to many heartfelt stories and humorous anecdotes about Evelyn from each of our invited and uninvited guests. People truly loved that woman. I still have a hard time understanding. After a couple hours, a simple catered lunch of baked barbeque chicken, cheesy twice baked potatoes, seasoned green beans, and fresh fruit salad in an orange-vanilla sauce is served. Once the meal is over, we send the leftovers with Edward and his merry band of misfits, and the factionless scatter.

"Will we see you at the park tomorrow, Jeffrey and Laurel?" Tobias asks. "I'd really like to get to know you both better."

"We'll be there," Jeffrey says. "And we're bringing Aaron, too, if it really is okay with you."

"Of course," I say. "That's fine."

"There's something I'd like to talk to you two about while Tyler isn't around," Tobias says, peaking my interest. "Since the adoption, he looks at me as his Daddy and not his brother, and he looks at Tris as his Mommy. I don't want to confuse him by introducing you as his brother and sister. I'll be introducing you as his uncle and aunt. I hope you understand why."

"I'm an aunt?" Laurel squeals.

"Laurel," her mother warns and she remembers herself.

"Yes, Laurel, you are an aunt," I say, "but not only to Tyler and Tessa but to this one also." I rub my hand over my tummy. She smiles brightly at me then looks at her mom.

"We need to be getting home," Mr. Walsh says.

"Thank you for letting Jeffrey and Laurel be here today," Tobias says nodding respectfully at his siblings' parents.

"Of course," he says. "We're sorry for your loss."

"Thank you," Tobias says. We watch as the obviously close-knit family exits the tent leaving us with Marcus and Ethan. Ethan gets up from the table he's been sitting at and approaches us.

"I thought maybe Tyler and Tessa would be here," Ethan says. Suddenly, I'm doubly thankful that my children are with my parents.

"We thought it would be too painful for Tyler," I say. "He's very confused about his feelings for Evelyn and no offense to you, but just the mention of your name sends him into hysterics, and I'm not going to do that to him anymore. He's _my_ son."

"I didn't mean to offend you, Beatrice," he says.

"It's _Tris_ ," I forcefully say. I don't like hearing my given name on his tongue. It makes me feel unclean. "Why are you still here? You said some nice thing about the mother of the majority of your children, the woman who is _not_ your wife. You spent some time with Jeffrey and Laurel. Why don't you leave?" I expect Tobias to say something but he just looks at Ethan Black also.

"I'm sorry I've caused any pain for you today," he says. "That was not my intention. I'll go. I do wish one day that I could see my son and daughter again." What did he just say? I open my mouth but Tobias stands up and interrupts me. He gets dangerously close to Mr. Black. I feel like I should do something but I'm paralyzed with uncertainty.

"I appreciate that you inserted your penis into my mother's vagina and made many children," he states simply, indifferently. "That being said, if you _ever_ dare refer to _my_ children as your son and daughter again, I _will_ remove your tongue. Am I making myself understood? You are nothing more than the sperm donor. _I_ am the only father they will ever know. _I_ am the man who holds them when they cry. _I_ am the man who comforts them when they're scared or hurt. _I_ am the man who cares for them when they're sick _. I_ am the man who loves them unconditionally not only when it's convenient for me." He takes a menacing step closer and Ethan Black flinches. "Are. We. _Clear_?"

"Yeah," Ethan whispers then turns and nearly sprints out of the tent. I can see Marcus sitting at the opposite end of the long banquet-style table not saying a word. He's staring at Tobias. I wonder what's going through his mind right now.

"Thank you for allowing me to take part today," he says. "I never apologized for lying about your mother. I have no excuse. It was wrong. All I can say is I was angry and bitter when she left. I understand fully why she did it. I was horrible to her but to this day I don't understand why she left you. I know she loved you. She loved you more than anything. Sometimes I was jealous of that." He bows his head. "Yet another thing I'm ashamed of."

"You said some nice things about her today," Tobias quietly says after we've sat in awkward silence for a time. "Thank you. Um, Tris and I need to be getting home. We have a party to get ready for."

"It was nice seeing you both," he says. Tobias holds his hand out to me, and I take it. He helps me to my feet then looks back at his father but doesn't say anything. I see the clear distrust on his face and wonder if Marcus can see it too.

"Goodbye," Tobias says then pulls me from the tent. I look over my shoulder and see the staff from The Crystal Gardens come into the tent to clean up. Marcus is still sitting there. I sigh. "Thinking about my father?"

"Yeah," I say. "He has me so … _confused_."

"I still don't trust him," he says.

"Tobias, I will _never_ trust him. He tried to erase us and handed me over to Peter. That's unforgivable. Part of me wants to tell you never to trust him, to run as far from him as you possibly can, but I can't do that. He's your father. All I want is for you to be happy," I say. We stop in front of the passenger door, and he puts his hands on either side of me, leaning in.

"Yes, Marcus Eaton is the man who gave me life but it takes more than that to be a father." We stare longingly into each other's eyes.

"Sperm donor, huh?" I ask.

"That's right, sperm donor," he says with a grin. He gives me a quick, powerful kiss before he pulls away and opens my car door for me.

"How are you feeling?" I ask. The ride back to Dauntless has been quiet. Even though I feel the need to talk, I've left him alone with his thoughts. "If you're not up for a party tonight, I understand." He looks at me across the close confines of the car and a blissful smile spreads across his face that lights him up from the inside out. He's very handsome but in these unguarded moments of joy, he _is_ breathtaking.

"I'm good," he says. "A party with all our friends and whoever else Uriah and Zeke invited is just what I need today." At the mention of his best friend, his cheeks flush a soft pink while I know I blush bright red but neither of us mention it. Too embarrassing. "Thanks again for standing by me today."

"Where else would I be?" I ask. "You're my husband. By your side is where I belong and where I want to be."

"Every day I'm surprised by the fact that I'm more in love with you because each day I feel that there's no room for my heart to expand but then I wake up the following day and find that I love you that much more. You amaze me," he says as he parks the car in the underground parking garage. I unbuckle my seatbelt as he takes his off. We both turn in our seats facing each other. We reach out for each other at the same time, and we hold each other close. I feel the familiar flames of desire ignite deep inside when his lips gently meet mine. He kisses me tenderly until it deepens and my body is yearning for the feel of his.

"Take me home," I say against his parted lips.

"Anything you want," he breathes. He gives me another passionate, heated kiss then lets me go. We hurry out of the car and rush hand-in-hand up the crowded path to our apartment. The minute we lock our door behind us we're in each other's arms, enthusiastic, engulfing kisses overwhelming us. I close my eyes and luxuriate in the feeling of his kisses when he takes his mouth off mine and moves it to my neck.

"The kids aren't here," I moan breathlessly.

"I know," he roughly says against my ear.

"Any surface in our apartment is fair game," I huskily say. He stands straight and looks down at me, his eyes glazing over with lust. "We can make love on the couch," I go up on my tiptoes and kiss the tip of his nose, "or the hallway floor," I run my tongue up his neck and kiss his right ear, "or how about the stairs." I press my body against his, teasing the hollow at the base of his neck, and I feel his rising excitement against me. "Then there's always the island and kitchen floor and bathtub and bathroom sink and powder room sink and…" I giggle freely as his mouth lands on mine. I expect it to be a hard, savage kiss but it's slow … soft … erotic. His tongue makes slow, sweet love to my mouth as his hands explore my body, and I melt further into him.

"You're so beautiful," he says into my ear. "What you do to my body." His words arouse me, and I take his hand and pull him to the sofa.

"I think I want you on the couch," I say as I push him down onto the soft cushions. He sits a little straighter as I straddle his lap.

"I like having you in dresses," he says as he unhurriedly runs his hands up and down my bare thighs. "Easy access." He chuckles at this little joke but I can't. The feel of his hands moving over my suddenly overheated skin has me gasping for air.

"I love you," I say as I move myself as close as I can to my loving, sexy husband. I'm pressing my growing belly into his hard abs, and every time Peanut moves, I'm confident he can feel her, too. "I love how you make me feel. I love how you feel. You're so hot and hard. I just can't get enough of you. I want to feel your body on mine. You make me feel sexy and wanted. I know it's just the pregnancy making me want you like this. No, baby, that's not what I…" Tobias's mouth crashes hard into mine, essentially shutting me up, and the rambling thoughts that were clouding my mind evaporate. I kiss him back just as enthusiastically feeling wanton, brazen.

"No more foreplay," he roughly says against my mouth. Foreplay? What foreplay. "I want to be inside you." My body tingles with anticipation at his words. He puts his hands firmly on my backside, stands up, turns around, and gently sits me on the couch. He kneels on the floor between my outstretched legs and pulls me to the very edge of the cushion so that I'm half sitting, half lying on the couch. He leans over me and slowly lowers his mouth to mine. A breath hitches in my throat when I feel his hands on my legs once again. As his lips and tongue are moving perfectly coordinated with mine, he's grasping my panties with both hands and lowering them down my legs and off my body. Then he leisurely travels his calloused fingertips from the tips of my toes up my ankles, across my shins, up over my knees, and across my thighs.

I gasp, breaking our kiss when I feel him, hard, hot, and throbbing, at my entrance. He takes my hands in his, lacing our fingers together and puts one hand beside my head and the other next to my hip. We both moan as he flexes his hips, pushing himself into me achingly slowly.

"Damn you're so tight," he hisses when he's fully inside of me. He hovers over my body not moving, staring down into my eyes, a look of joyous exultation on his face when we're one. I think I like this position. It reminds me somewhat of my favorite, him on top staring deeply into my eyes, giving me all his weight. He leans down and kisses me softly, nibbling my bottom lip before leaning back. Then he begins to move. He unhurriedly slides back until we almost part then as he thrusts forward into me as I lift my hips to join his. We both moan deeply at the wonderful feeling. This is what _love_ feels like. We stare into each other's eyes, our pace measured. The sensual rhythm carrying me closer to ecstasy.

"I love you," he says as he increases the speed marginally. My hips rise to meet each of his deliberate, powerful, yet steady thrusts.

"I love you, Tobias," I lament, my voice thick with the intense, crushing desire I feel for him. "You feel so good inside me." He keeps the pace unrushed, restrained wanting to prolong our experience. He leans over and places adoring kisses on my temples, jawline, neck, ear, and finally my lips. I feel my insides start to quiver as his breathing hitches and his strokes become shorter and more rushed as we move as one toward shared paradise. I cry out the name of the man I love as my body is overtaken by uncontrollable shuddering contractions just as he stills his thrusts and empties his love deep inside of me. I release his hands hoping I did no permanent damage when I tightly squeezed them through my release and drag him close to me. He pulls me off the couch so that I'm straddling his lap, still joined, and we let our breathing return to normal. I lift myself off him and move back a little, making room for my tummy. I immediately feel more comfortable. I rest my head against his shoulder for a while relishing the feel of his arms around me. Impatient knocking at our front door pulls us from our reverie. We try to ignore it but after they knock again, we think it might be important. I sigh and get off his lap.

"Just a minute," he calls out. I slide my panties back on while he straightens his clothes. I walk to the door and look at Tobias. He winks then nods. I open the door to a very distraught Zander and Stella.


	13. Chapter 13

"Stella, Zander! Oh, my God! What's wrong?" I ask, ushering our friends into the apartment. Stella's red-rimmed eyes are puffy and tear laden while Zander is pale and tense. I've never seen the pair look like this. They're always so pulled together.

"It's Avery," Stella mutters.

" _Avery_?" I ask, shocked.

"What's wrong with Avery?" Tobias asks with a concerned look on his face. We're both troubled by the news that it's sweet, levelheaded Avery who is causing her parents this degree of distress, it's usually the twins.

"Remember when I interrupted you in the middle of the night when Asher was arrested?" Zander asks. How will we ever forget? We learned so much that night … and revealed a lot, too.

"Of course," Tobias says. "Come on. Let's have some coffee and talk." Stella and Zander trudge over and sit down side-by-side at the island, their hands clasped tightly together, their knees touching. I pop a peach cobbler into the oven that I had frozen for just this type of situation while Tobias starts a fresh pot of coffee. When I'm done, I sit down on a neighboring barstool and reach out for Stella's hand, which she grips tightly.

"What about that night?" I ask, trying to remember if Avery's name was even mentioned when I suddenly remember. Zander suspects his daughter is Divergent just like his wife.

"In order to get you to trust me, I told you some dangerous family secrets," Zander says.

"I remember," Tobias says as he puts a mug of hot coffee in front of each of our guests and then slides one in front of me before sitting down himself.

"Thanks," I tell Tobias then turn my attention back to our guests. "You told us that you suspect Avery is Divergent."

"I think she's going to choose a different faction on Monday," Stella chokes. My arms automatically encircle her in a hug while my heart tightens for her. That has to be one of every mother's greatest fears, having your child leave the faction they grew up in. I know Tyler has 14 years before his Choosing Ceremony but I fear that day like it's going to happen tomorrow.

"Why would you think that?" I ask after I let her go.

"I know we aren't supposed to interfere with the choosing process in any way but we needed to make sure that our daughter is safe," Zander says somewhat defiantly. "Stella and I sat her down and told her that we think she's Divergent. She had heard the word before but was confused by its meaning. She thought of divergence as an urban legend." That sounds familiar. Christina's mother used it as a scare tactic with her and Rose growing up. I wonder how many other parents do that.

"We explained what being Divergent meant and told her how dangerous it was for the outside world to find out because there's a huge misconception that hopefully one day will be laid to rest," Stella says, continuing for Zander. "We told her how to hide it not only during the aptitude test but during the simulations but I think we scared her more than we meant to." Tobias and I sit in shocked silence. Two very good friends just confessed to breaking a fundamental law of the city. You don't intervene when it comes to your children's choosing. No one is ever supposed to talk about their test result or how they come about their choice. It's done, obviously, but people don't share that information freely.

"Stella, Zander, you know it's her choice whether she wants to stay or go," I say. I'm surprised how much that statement hurts my heart. Over the past few months I've come to love that girl. I can't imagine this place without her. "She hasn't even had the aptitude test yet. Maybe you're worrying for no reason."

"We know it's her choice. I've been preparing myself for this moment the past 16 years. It's one of the hardest things I've had to personally deal with. I love my children more than anything and the prospect of not seeing them wants to rip my heart out," Stella says.

"You see, Avery is afraid. She doesn't think it's possible to live in Dauntless without her secret being found out. Her mother and I tried to reassure her that it's very much a possibility but she thinks we're telling her that because we're her parents. Stella even told Avery her secret but she just doesn't believe her."

"What do you want us to do?" Tobias asks.

"I know your secret," Stella softly says sounding slightly embarrassed. "Please don't be upset with Zander. We don't keep secrets from each other. It's the one rule we have in our relationship. I would never give away your secret like I know Avery's and my secret is safe with you. That being said, I want you to talk to her. Reassure her like I couldn't."

"Stella," I say but Zander cuts me off.

"We know we're asking a lot," he says. "Talk to her as friends. Tell her about your experiences. Reassure her like we couldn't. Tell her that it may be dangerous but that it is in fact doable because you do it every day. Please." Tobias looks at me for a moment like he has this huge internal struggle battling within him.

"I'll talk to her," he says.

" _We'll_ talk to her," I say, resting my hand on his. "But only so far as to address the danger aspect. As much as I would hate to see Avery go, we can't interfere with her choice. Especially Four and I. If the wrong person ever found out, not only could we lose our roles as leaders but we could be made factionless." The thought of my kids factionless makes me shudder. For as long as I live, I'll make sure Tyler will never have to go back to that desolate life.

"We'll talk to her tomorrow night," Tobias says. "We'll do the best we can to make her understand that we can help keep her safe in Dauntless if that's her choice."

"You might be able to speak to her tonight," Zander says. "She'll be at the Candor or Dauntless party, too."

"Are you guys going?" I ask, excited at the prospect.

"We are," Stella says. She gives me the first smile to cross her face since she walked through the door. "Avery told me that Nathan and Callen will be there also."

"Really," I say. "Zeke and Uriah have been keeping the guest last under wraps. It will be nice to see my uncle and cousin though."

"We see your cousin quite often," Zander says with a huff. "Don't get me wrong. He's a really good kid but I think my daughter has fallen in love and they're getting too serious. I'm not ready for my little girl to be all grown up yet. When I look at her I still picture her in braids. You'll understand how I'm feeling one day when Tessa starts dating."

"That will never happen because I'm not allowing my daughters to date," Tobias says. I know he's joking but the look on his face says he's dead serious. I will admit, I don't like thinking that far into the future. I just want to enjoy the time I have with my children while they're still little because they'll be grown before we know it.

"Where are the kids?" Stella asks with a chuckle. "Napping?"

"They're spending the night with Tris' parents so we can go to the party."

"That's nice of them," she says. I get the cobbler out of the oven when the timer goes off and serve a generous portion topped with a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream from the parlor downtown. Tobias freshens everyone's coffee before sitting down to enjoy the treat.

"Did you make this?" Zander asks, a look of bliss on his face.

"Yes, I did," I say. "It's Hana's recipe."

"This is so good, Tris," Stella says. We chat about this and that while we eat the delicious snack. She tells us that she caught the twins getting ready to throw knives at each other last week in the training room. "I swear those two are going to be the death of me. I have zero doubt they'll choose Dauntless when the time comes then we _all_ will have our hands full." She laughs at her assessment of her 11-year-old troublemakers but there's a sadness in her eyes. Her thoughts must have returned to Avery.

"We should get going," Zander says after we finish the peach cobbler. "I have to check on patients in the infirmary before supper. We didn't mean to barge in and disrupt your day, guys. We really appreciate what you're going to do for our daughter. You two are true friends."

"Try not to worry about her," Tobias says. "Tris and I will do what we can to guide her. I have a feeling everything will work out the way it's supposed to." Zander extends his hand to Tobias, and they shake while Stella grabs me up in a warm embrace.

"I'll call you to come over for supper soon," she says. "It's been too long since our last get together."

"I know and I'm sorry," I say. "Things have been hectic."

"Come on, Stella," Zander says with a shine in his eyes of a man in love. I hope Tobias looks at me like that after more than 17 years of marriage. "You can walk me to the infirmary." He holds his hand out to her, and she gladly takes it. Thankfully they look more at ease since they arrived. I can still see the stress of the situation around their eyes but they seem to be taking it more in stride. We stand in our doorway and wave goodbye. Before turning to go back inside, the plain wooden door of apartment 15 catches my eye.

"Shall we check it out?" he asks, seeing what's captured my attention.

"Yeah," I say. "Like you said, it won't hurt to just look." He gives me a breathtaking smile before his lips land on mine.

"Thanks," he says. He quickly retrieves the key from the small black lockbox, and we walk to the door we've passed hundreds of times in the months we've lived in this hallway. We give each other a "here goes nothing" look after taking a deep breath, and he opens the door then steps aside to let me in. I cross the threshold into a nice-sized foyer. There's a sizeable closet on one side and a built-in bench with shoe storage beneath, shelving above, and large black decorative hooks for easy access to coats on the other side. That would be handy. We have to keep our coats and shoes in our bedroom closet at home. In front of us is a pair of solid white French doors that Tobias opens with a dramatic flair, causing me to laugh out loud.

"After you, love," he says, ushering me into the unfamiliar space.

"This place is huge," I say taking in the massive empty room before us. I glance up at Tobias and see that his jaw is hanging open, much like mine is. "How can this place so big?"

"I have no idea," he says. "Let's look around. Hey, I think the floors are the same as the ones in our apartment." I look at the pristine wide plank hand scraped light hardwood floors beneath my feet and nod in agreement. This definitely is the same flooring that we have at home but the color on the walls is different. Ours is a very serene blue; here it's a stark bright white, which I don't like at all. We walk further into what must be the living room. The wall to the right is made up of floor-to-ceiling windows just like at home, the wall to the left has an intricate built-in entertainment center with a gas fireplace in the center, and the far wall is made of the same light brown stone of the exterior of the building.

When we round the corner, we find an elaborate staircase on the left made of the same light wood as the floors. On the right is a huge traditional galley-style kitchen. It's similar to ours yet completely different with the whitewashed oak cabinets and stainless steel industrial style appliances. I'm pleasantly surprised when I see the same white, blue, and strategically placed black tile backslash and matte black quartz countertops though. Maybe that's what reminds me of home. There is a sizeable island in the center of the kitchen that seats four. The half-wall makes a great divider allowing a hallway straight into the dining room. _A dining room!_ I didn't think that would excite me as much as it does. I love our island at home but it would be nice to sit down at a table for a nice family dinner. We walk through the sliding glass panel beyond the dining area into yet another room. The familiar floor-to-ceiling windows are on both outside walls while the third wall has an elaborate built-in bookshelf similar to the one in the living room. The forth wall, which consists of three stationary panels and one moving door is made entirely of a very thick clear glass. The floor is a light stormy blue slate tile instead of the wooden floors of the rest of the first floor.

"What kind of room is this?" I ask as we stand staring back into the dining area.

"I don't know," he says. "What do you think so far?"

"It would need painted," is what pops out of my mouth, surprising me. I can't tell if he likes it or not because he's keeping his expression guarded.

"Does that mean you like what you see?" he asks.

"What's not to like," I say, telling the absolute truth. This place is really nice so far but is it home? "Let's look at the bedrooms. How many are there?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if there were at least five," he says. "This place is massive. If I'm not mistaken, it wraps around Will and Christina's apartment. That's the only way I can figure it's this big. I wasn't expecting this." On the way out of the glass room, I open a door that we overlooked.

"Oh, it's a half bath," I say. I look at him over my shoulder and he nods. I reach back and take his hand and lead him up the stairs. This is really different than any staircase I've seen except for the ornate stairs in the little farmhouse in Amity. Actually, these really remind me of those. We walk up 4 stairs to a little landing, turn right and walk up 12 stairs to another landing, then turn right again and walk up the 4 remaining stairs, finally exiting out onto the second floor. Yeah, I love the stairs.

To the left of where we're standing is a blank wall, to the right a well-lit hallway, and directly in front of us is a closed door. I look up over my shoulder at Tobias, and he nods toward the closed door. Behind the simple gloss white painted door is an oasis: An expansive master bedroom, his and hers walk-in closets that could double as bedrooms if ever needed, an immense en suite fit for royalty, and to top it all off a sizeable space that could be used as a nursery.

"This … is … _wow!_ " Tobias says as we stand in the spacious bathroom. I'm in shock. I have no words. "We better see the rest of the place." This time he takes _me_ by the hand. He practically drags me back through the bedroom, out the door, and down the hallway. We stop at an open room with built-in shelving with adequate space for a computer and room for a couch or a couple chairs. "This must be an office. Notice the built-in filing drawers and desk." I nod. "Let's look at the kids' rooms."

"You have us moved in already?" I ask, meaning to tease him but it sounds harsher than I mean.

"No, that's not what I meant," he says with clear disappointment on his face. I can finally see that he likes this place … _a lot._ "Can we look at the rest of the rooms?"

"Yeah," I say. We go through three identically-sized bedrooms and a slightly larger one that each have their own en suite bathroom. This is _insane_. Each step of exploration makes the smile on Tobias' face grow wider. When we open the final door, we look at each other in surprise. There's a washer and dryer so I wouldn't have to haul our clothes back and forth to the laundry but that's not what has us staring. There's a wide black wrought iron spiral staircase leading up to an unexpected third floor. This is a complete shock.

"After you?" he says. I shake my head and he smiles. He hesitantly walks to the steps and slowly ascends them. When he gets to the top, he calls out for me. "Tris, love, you've _got_ to see this." His excitement is contagious, and I suddenly can't wait to see what's at the top of these stairs. When I reach his side, I'm floored by what's in front of me. The room, if you can call it that, is made up of thick panels of glass with a glass ceiling, much like the interior glass wall next to the dining room downstairs. "Isn't this amazing? Look at the view." We stare at the sprawling cityscape for a moment before taking in the immediate area. There are cream colored stucco planters edging the roof for safety but they don't interfere with the amazing view of the city behind them. Tobias pushes the sliding glass panels until one wall opens up onto a cream-colored deck. Above us is a dark wood pergola attached to two wide cream colored stucco pillars covering what looks like an outdoor dining area complete with outdoor kitchen with appliances, a big dark colored stone fireplace with pizza oven, and built-in seating. Behind the glass enclosure, tucked into a private corner is a covered hot tub and what looks to be an outdoor shower. This is … over-the-top. Who in the world had this place built? I look at his expectant face, and I know he's about ready to burst at the seams.

"Can we go home and talk about this?" I ask.

"Of course," he says, still beaming. "I'm glad you're willing to consider it." He takes my hand in his, and we take a final look around the rooftop deck before heading back inside. It really is nice. I can quite easily picture Tobias, Tyler, Tessa, Teagan, and me spending many a night up here as a family. I can also picture hours in the hot tub with my husband, just the two of us. We head back inside and close and secure the sliding glass panels then go downstairs. As we look at each room for a second time, I envision what my life would be like here, and it's a good life. Before long we're side-by-side on the couch in our little apartment.

"You sure are quiet," he says. "What's on your mind?"

"I'm just thinking about that apartment," I say.

"You don't like it," he says. He assumes my hesitancy comes from not liking it but that's just not true.

"I know how I feel," I say. "I want to know what _you_ think. You love it, don't you?" A smile transforms his face, and I can't help myself, I smile, too. When he's this happy, I'm happy.

"I've never felt the way I do about a space as I do about that one. As we walked around, I found myself envisioning stockings hanging on the mantle above the fireplace, toys strewn across the living room floor, family diners at a nice farm-style table in the dining room, lounging with a good book in the glass room after we've tucked the kids into bed … in their own rooms, having cookouts with all our friends on the rooftop deck, making love to my beautiful wife in the hot tub. Four bedrooms is plenty to expand our family if we ever want to. I loved the nursery in the master suite, and it's big enough for two cribs and a changing table so Tessa and Teagan both can stay there." He looks so excited, like a kid on Christmas morning but I watch concern fill his features. "Something's bothering you about that apartment. What is it? Talk to me, please."

"When I first walked into this apartment, I knew I was home. It was an instantaneous feeling that I honestly can't describe," I slowly say, trying to gather my scattered thoughts. Remembering that day brings dampness to my eyes, which I quickly wipe away. "Sadly, I didn't get the same feeling with the other apartment but I promised you that I would look at it and really consider it because we truly do need more space. So I kept an open mind as we walked through, and I can't deny I liked what I saw."

"But it's not 'home?'" he asks. I scoot closer to him and take his face in my hands.

"Tobias Eaton, home is wherever you are," I say using the words he gave me when we picked this apartment. "Well, you and our children. If you want to move there, I say we go for it. The longer we spent there, the more I actually found myself liking what I saw. I even pictured what our life would be like, too." His mouth lands aggressively on mine, taking me by surprise. He really wants that apartment. He pulls me onto his lap and wraps his arms around me.

"I really wish I knew what I did to deserve you," he says, his expression now completely serious. "I'm so lucky, I married my best friend." I smile shyly at him and wrap my arms around his neck and gaze into his darkening eyes. I know what's on his mind.

"When did you marry, Zeke?" I tease and we both laugh heartily. "Seriously though, you are the best thing to ever happen to me. You give me love like I never knew was possible. You've given me two wonderful children and a baby on the way. You give your heart to me every day." A single tear escapes and rolls down my cheek and he kisses it away. "I love you. I love our life." I draw his mouth to mine and kiss him passionately for what seems like hours.

"I love you, too," he says, our lips still moving together as one.

"That was wonderful earlier by the way," I say, kissing the side of his mouth. "I really love looking into your eyes when we make love." I'm peppering butterfly kisses all over his face, and he's grinning. I feel him hardening beneath me, and I pull back and look deeply into his eyes. "You're a naughty boy, aren't you, Mr. Eaton? Only one thing on your mind." A wicked grin slowly spreads over his face and his eyes dance with a devilish glint, and I squeal with delight as he proceeds to show me just what's on his mind.


	14. Chapter 14

"You _really_ like the new apartment, don't you?" I ask. I'm lying completely naked on the living room floor wrapped around Tobias' equally naked body, leisurely running my fingertips over the patch of Dauntless flames that cover his right ribcage. When he doesn't answer my question, I tilt my head back and meet his steady loving gaze. He smiles at me, and a swarm of butterflies take up residence in my tummy. Am I always going to have this reaction to him? I slide up a little bit and lightly press my lips to his. He gently strokes my back while he tenderly kisses me.

"I absolutely _love_ the new apartment, and I look forward to many happy years there," he says, slightly breathless when our lips part. "But I'll never forget the memories we've made and continue to make here in our first home." We just made love two more times adding to the memory cache; the first time was on the kitchen island, and the second time started on the couch and ended here where we're lying on the floor.

"When do you want to tell the kids that we're moving?" I ask, suddenly getting just as excited as he is. He shifts under me, and I move away from him. He rolls us until he's hovering above me then kisses my mouth passionately, letting his tongue tangle with mine, and then he trails kisses down my body until he's worshipping my growing bump.

"Teagan Grace Eaton, Mommy and Daddy are going to move the family down the hall to a much bigger place. You'll have your own bedroom with your own bathroom but don't expect to be spoiled. No! Mommy and Daddy will never let that happen." I can't help but laugh as he announces our plans to our unborn daughter. Sometimes he can be silly. "Daddy can't wait for you to make an appearance so that he can meet you. I love you so much, Peanut. You are one of the four best things to ever happen to me." He continues running his hands and lips over my swollen abdomen while he talks. When he's finished, he trails kisses back up my body until his lips land roughly on mine again. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him with a joyful exuberance. I love him so, so very much. "One down, two to go. How about we tell Tyler and Tessa tomorrow?"

"That sounds like a plan," I say still chuckling. "Do we have to tell anyone we're taking that apartment?"

"I've already let Tori, Will, and Harrison know," he says. "Are there any changes you want to make?"

"I think the entire apartment needs painted," I say. "All the woodwork needs a fresh coat of a softer white. Right now it's so bright it hurts my eyes. I would like the entire downstairs and our master suite including the powder room and our bathroom to be the same color blue as we have here. That way what we have will still match. I think we should let Tyler pick out a theme and paint color for his room. He'll love that. We can pick a theme for Tessa's room and the nursery and have the other rooms painted the same soft white as the wood work."

"We'll need some more furniture," he says, a happy sparkle in his eyes.

"I swear you are the only man I know who _likes_ to shop," I say with a giggle, shaking my head. He shrugs his shoulders at me.

"If it's for our home, I love it," he says. "Shopping for clothes … not my thing."

"I know," I say.

"Are you hungry?" he asks.

"How about we take a shower and then you can make me some supper," I say feeling the need to get up off the cold, unyielding floor.

"Sounds like a great idea," he says. He gets to his feet and helps me to mine. I start toward the stairs when he grabs me and swings me up into his arms causing a giggle to escape my lips. He has me giggling a lot today. "I wanted to thank you for a very diverting afternoon, Mrs. Eaton. This morning was emotionally draining with the service and seeing Marcus and Ethan Black but being locked away with you this afternoon has really helped." He touches his lips to mine, kissing me briefly before sitting me on my feet in front of the shower. I open the frosted glass door and find the perfect temperature before stepping into the swirling steam. I feel Tobias right behind me, and I relax into his body as I enjoy the hot water as it rains down over our bodies.

"As much as I've always enjoyed myself in this shower I can't wait for the first one in the new apartment," I say. Tobias moves us out of the water, picks my coconut-scented body wash up off the shelf, and creates a thick, rich lather between his large hands. "It's what, _three_ times the size of this one, and did you see all the showerheads and body jets?" He's running his soaped-up hands all over my back and shoulders, massaging the lather into my body and I moan. " _Mmm_ … that feels so good, baby." He reaches around and rubs the lather into my collar bones, chest, and heavy breasts; down and over my swollen abdomen; and down to my feet and back up again. I smile when I feel his lips on my neck but my breath hitches when I feel his fingers move between my legs. He thoroughly cleans my sex with his slippery fingers then moves me under the spray of water to wash off all the lather, leaving me feeling achy, needy. He turns me around, ensuring that I've been completely rinsed off then he leans down and places a soft kiss on my lips.

"My turn," he says. I smile at him, never taking my eyes off his as I reach for his body wash. I pour a large amount into my hands and work up a lather then step closer to him and run my hands over his shoulders.

"You have such broad, sexy shoulders," I say as I dig my fingers into the flesh making him moan. I move my hands down both arms and glide my fingers over the well-defined muscles. "Your arms are so strong. I love how they feel when they're wrapped around me." I thoroughly wash each hand, concentrating on each finger. "The tips of each your fingers have calluses on them. It makes your touch amazing, rough and gentle at the same time. They feel so good whether they're gliding gently down my body or thrusting roughly inside of me." I hear his breathing increase in direct correlation to my words, and his eyes dilate. I smile inwardly at the fact that I can arouse this perfect specimen of the male form. A come-and-get-me smile turns up my lips as I move my hands over the rippling muscles of his firm, smooth back while pressing my body up against his. I watch as his eyes darken further with desire. "You're very well-built, Mr. Eaton. I knew that the first time I watched you walk away from me. I couldn't take my eyes off of you, and I couldn't help but wonder what you looked like under your clothes." I slide my hands down and knead the tender flesh of his backside before slowly sinking to my knees, continuing my journey south down his thick, muscular thighs and strong, powerful legs to his sexy as hell feet and back up again. He gasps when I get to my feet and take his full throbbing erection in my dainty hand to thoroughly wash him. "It still amazes me that this fits inside of me. You're. So. Big." I push us back until the water is washing all evidence of my exploration away. I continue slowly stroking his hard length while I gaze into his eyes. "Do you have any idea how much I love having you inside me? You fill me so full. It's almost too much but it's the most amazing feeling in the world. If I had to do just one thing for the rest of my life, I would make sure that it was make love with you." He can't stand anymore, and his mouth slams into mine. The kiss is aggressive, fierce, and mind-blowingly intoxicating. I can no longer think straight from the lack of oxygen to my brain. When we part, we both gasp for much-needed air.

"God, I want you so much right now," he roughly says. "I swear if I'm not inside you soon, I'm going to explode."

"I'm all yours," I huskily say. He swiftly turns me around, and I place my hands on the wet tile wall. He lifts my right leg up on to the shower seat, bends me over further, and then fills me fully in one swift motion. I gasp and he groans at the intimate contact. He turns my head and seeks out my mouth, kissing me forcefully. His tongue thrusts into my mouth, claiming it once again as his own. We let our tongues tangle while he begins to hastily move back and forth inside me. "Slow, baby. Slow." He slows his powerful thrusts, letting me get used to his welcome invasion. "Oh, that's it, baby. So good." He slips his hand between my thighs and finds my throbbing nubbin with his fingers and I gasp. "Oh, God!"

"I love how you feel around me," he says in my ear. "You keep squeezing me, love. You're so damn tight."

"You're so big," I gasp as I clench around his shaft and he hisses in my ear.

"Just like that. You have no idea what you do to me. God, I love you." I try to tell him I love him, too, but my brain stopped functioning. He incessantly circles the highly sensitive bundle of nerves with the lightest touch of the pad of his fingers, the all too familiar pressure building and building as he increases the intensity and speed of each thrust. The sound of our heavy breathing and the spray from the shower bouncing off our colliding bodies is interrupted by our shared screams of fulfillment. He thrusts into my spasming depths a few more times before emptying himself fully. He pants heavily in my ear as I suck in lungful's of air. He pulls out of me, and I turn in his arms. He finds my mouth, and we give each other a warm, loving kiss.

"Baby, you've exhausted me." I can't help the yawn that escapes my mouth.

"I'd say I'm sorry but I'm not," he says with his cocky I-just-made-Tris-come-harder-than-hell grin on his face.

"I think I need a nap," I murmur. "I have time, don't I?" If I don't get a nap I definitely will pass out in front of everyone.

"Of course," he says. "We don't have to be there until 9:00 or 9:30 but you know we could always skip it." Is it just me or is his expression hopeful? I know why he's talking about missing the "party of the century" as Uriah likes to call it. We've both been avoiding Zeke since yesterday. A groan involuntarily escapes my lips, and he gives me a funny look.

"I was thinking about Zeke," I say, my skin flushing red. "How am I going to make it through tonight? You know my blush is going to give something away."

"Just tell everyone you're hot from the layers you'll be wearing," he says with sympathetic eyes. He turns the water off after we quickly finish our shower. We step out into the chilled air of the bathroom and I shiver. Tobias grabs an oversized fluffy towel and wraps it around my shoulders while vigorously running his hands up and down my arms trying to get me warm. I thoroughly dry myself as he grabs a towel for himself. After towel drying my hair, I go lie down on our bed. I feel the blanket settle over me but I can't open my eyes to tell him thank you.

My eyes pop open when I hear a loud clatter, and I jump out of bed. I slip into my black satin robe as I quickly make my way down the stairs. Tobias is practically standing on his head trying to get the stock pot out of the cupboard, and he's making a hell of a racket.

"How's a girl supposed to get any sleep in this joint?" I ask, feigning irritability. At the sound of my voice, he rears up and hits his head on the countertop with a loud thud. _Oh!_ I rush to his side as he stands rubbing his head. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. Are you okay?" I run my fingers through his hair and find the beginnings of a knot. "Sit." I push him onto one of the barstools and go to the freezer. I take out an icepack and wrap it in a dish towel then press it to his injury. I tilt his chin up so I can look in his eyes to assess the damage but his pupils are thankfully their normal size. I don't want a repeat of Christmas night.

"I didn't mean to wake you, love," he says as he wraps his arms around me and draws me closer. "I was going to make us some sausage potato soup for supper but now I don't think I want to cook. My head kind of hurts but I know something that will make me feel better." I didn't even notice he had untied the sash of my robe until I feel his hands on my naked body.

"Oh, no, baby," I murmur against his lips. "If we make love again I'm not leaving this apartment tonight."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," he says. Our kiss deepens as he slowly slides my robe off my shoulders right before his phone buzzes. "Saved by the buzz." He laughs until he sees it's Zeke then he becomes sullen. I can tell that he's debating on whether to answer or not. "What," he growls into the receiver after making his decision. I break his grip and slide my robe back on. Why does my self-control evaporate around him? I point toward the stairs after I put the ice pack away and he nods. I hear him muttering into the phone but I can't make out exactly what he's saying, which is probably for the best. I don't need to be reminded of our foolishness in the fear landscape room. I shudder at the thought. I go into the bathroom and try to get my hair to lay down before I give up and hop in the shower. After I wash my hair again, I drag my dryer out of the linen closet and style my hair.

"That's better," I say into the mirror.

"It sure is," Tobias says from the doorway.

"How did you keep from laughing your head off at me earlier?" I ask. "I could barely get the comb through it and nothing I did would make it lay down."

"You're always beautiful to me," he says. "You know that." I roll my eyes at his insanity.

"What did Zeke want?" I ask. He sighs at the mention of his best friend.

"To make sure that we're attending tonight's festivities," he says with an odd tone. I want to ask him about it but I decide to dismiss it instead.

"And?"

"As much as I would like to stay here with you and your divine nakedness," his fingers dance over each shoulder down to my breasts making me tingle, "I promised him we would go. I was ensured that we would be summoned by Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo, as you like to call them, if we didn't. I thought I would save us all the trouble. Let's get ready and get something to eat. I'm starving. My wife made me work up quite an appetite today. She couldn't keep her hands off of me." I scoff but he just grins wickedly and wags his brows at me. We head into our bedroom and put on as many layers as possible. I have on a set of basic black lingerie topped by a running bra and shorts. Next I put on a camisole and skin-tight leggings. "You look cute."

"I'm going to be so uncomfortable with all these clothes on that I'll be refusing people just so I can take some off."

"I'd prefer you only take your clothes off for me," he says with a smirk. I slide a skirt up my legs and look in the mirror. Not bad. I put on a loose black racer back tank top and a black denim vest. Okay, I swear I look like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. This is ridiculous. He slips his arms around me and kisses my temple, seemingly knowing what's running through my head. "Do you know what I see when I look at you?" I shake my head at him. "I not only see the beautiful woman who is having _my_ daughter but I see my amazing wife who stands by my side during the good times and the bad; I see my best friend who I can tell any secret to, laugh heartily together with, who cheers me when I'm down, and stand up for me and next to me; I see my lover who keeps me sexually satisfied … _so_ satisfied. You are beautiful, Beatrice Grace Eaton. Yes, there's a little more of you to love right now but you need to remember that this is a little person in here, a very _precious_ little person who our love made. I love you, Tris." I feel the tears in my eyes start to overflow. "Don't cry, love. I don't want my words to upset you?"

"They didn't," I say, wiping the tears away before I have to reapply my makeup. "You're so sweet and understanding. I love you." I turn in his arms and look up at him with a huge smile, which seems to make him a little dazed. "Can you believe that we met one year ago on Monday?"

"I thank my lucky stars every single day that you chose Dauntless. I'd hate to picture my life without you."

"Don't," I say as my stomach growls.

"I better feed you," he says with a chuckle right before his tummy rumbles. A fit of giggles overwhelm me and soon tears are streaming down my face again. "Let's go, love." After I check the damage the tears made, he takes my hand and leads me down the winding path to the Pit for a late supper in the cafeteria. When we pass by the closed auditorium doors we can hear shuffling and banging noises. I wonder what those two have planned. "What can I get for you?"

"Why don't you surprise me," I say as I sit at our vacated table after I give him a quick kiss. I calm tremendously when I see Zeke isn't here.

"Hey, Tris," Nathan says as he steps up to the end of the table. "Are you going to the big party tonight?"

"Yeah," I say with a chuckle. The buzz in the air about the party is tangible and finally has me excited about it. "I was told you were invited. I'm so glad."

"It seems that being your uncle has opened some doors for me," he says with a genuine smile. "I'm just kidding but Callen and I will both be there."

"That's great," I say. "I look forward to seeing you both."

"Hi, Nathan," Tobias says as he sets a plate of meatloaf, five cheese scalloped potatoes, seasoned string beans with bacon, and mixed fruit salad in front of me. Damn that looks good. I don't wait before digging in. "How are you?"

"I'm good," he says. "I'm looking forward to spending some quality time with Callen tonight. Well, I won't keep you two anymore. I'll see you later." I turn my attention back to the food after telling him goodbye and practically swoon. Everything tastes wonderful.

"I'm going to get some cake," I say when I finish the last bite of meatloaf. "Do you want a slice? Chocolate?" He nods so I get us each a big slice. My face falls when I return to the table and see Zeke sitting next to Tobias with what can only be classified as an evil grin.

"Good evening, Tris," he says. Even though there's no innuendo or double entendre in his greeting, I can't bring myself to meet his eyes, and I blush violently at the memory of what he saw.

"Hey," I squeak.

"I just stopped by to make sure Four is going to come tonight," he says with the devil's gleam in his eyes and then he adds, "To the party." I hear Tobias growl, and Zeke just grins wider. I roll my eyes and shake my head. Is this what tonight is going to be like? No, that's probably an understatement. This is what the rest of our lives is going to be like.

"Four and I are moving into a bigger apartment," I say, trying to change the subject. "When we get moved in, we'll have a party on the rooftop patio."

"Rooftop patio?" he asks. _Mission accomplished, Tris!_ I silently congratulate myself. "Wow that sounds fancy-schmancy. I can't wait to see it." We tell him about every detail of the new apartment while we eat our cake, and he silently hangs on every word, which has to be difficult for him.

"What made you decide to get a new place?" he asks. "You've always seemed quite content with your apartment."

"That's easy," I say. I point to my expanding abdomen. "We really don't have any place for this little one." One of his teasing smiles transforms his face and I sigh. Here it comes.

"Growing family," he mumbles. "I completely understand." He looks at his phone and gets up from the table. "I'll see you guys in a little bit. It's going to be an epic night." We watch as he walks away.

"I basically left the door wide open for some sort of crack, and he didn't take it," I say, confused.

"That's because I threatened him with bodily harm if he teases you, Tris, and he agreed," Tobias says. "I told him I'm fair game but to leave you out of it. He's scared _just_ enough of me to heed my warning."

"That's not fair," I say, leaning toward him and lowering my voice. "You weren't alone in that room." He leans in close to me and gives me a tender kiss.

"No one will hurt you, love. Not even in jest," he says. "I won't allow it."

"I love you," I say.

"I love you, too," he says. He clears our dinner and dessert plates and holds his hand out to me. "Shall we?"


	15. Chapter 15

Tobias and I walk hand-in-hand from the cafeteria to the auditorium across the crowded, noisy Pit floor. Dauntless members are in full Saturday night party mode everywhere I look. There's a woman probably twice my age with frizzy pink hair pressing a dark bottle to her lips. She's swaying like a tree in a windstorm not paying a bit of attention to the precarious position she's in, balancing on the edge of the chasm. A young man with shocking red hair puts his arm around her, leading her closer to safety but the look on his face tells me there's less danger for her balancing on the edge of the chasm than walking away with him. I foresee a walk of shame in the morning. There are two preteen boys looking up to no good by the entrance of the arcade. I'm momentarily worried when a young girl with blond curls walks out into the Pit but the boys just run up to her, give her a kiss on the cheek, then run off laughing, leaving her stunned. I smile at their childish innocence. A man and woman slightly older than Tobias and myself are leisurely strolling up the winding path with what looks to be a 2-3-year-old little girl with bouncing red curls holding on to both their hands, jumping over cracks and pebbles in her way. Seeing her makes me miss Tyler and Tessa that much more tonight. I need to check in on them again soon.

Tobias opens the heavy auditorium door and lets me go in first. The place is awesome. It's actually set up to look a lot like an oversized living room. There are several couches, love seats, and end tables set up in a large circle. The cold concrete floor is scattered with overlapping area rugs of various shapes and sizes and so many square and rectangular extra-large floor pillows that I lose count. Obviously, Zeke and Uriah took a page out of Christina's playbook and borrowed the items from the furniture store for the night. About 12 round paper lanterns have been hung from the ceiling at strategic intervals over the makeshift circle for mood lighting. On one side of the stage stairs is a table packed with numerous party foods including meatballs, little smoked sausages in barbeque sauce, various types of chips, numerous dips, veggie, cheese and fruit trays, and much more set up buffet style. On the other side of the stairs is another table full of every kind of beverage a person could want: Coffee, tea, soda, juice, water, mixed drinks, wine, and beer. Uriah and Zeke went all out for this. I'm very impressed.

"Four, Tris," Uriah hollers from across the room, making his way toward us. "I'm so glad you two could come! Zeke just told me a few minutes ago that you might not make it, that something came up in the fear landscape room." Oh, my dear, God! Did Uriah actually just say that? I feel my body temperature rise by at least 10 degrees, meaning that I'm probably an alarming shade of red but he doesn't seem to notice. Tobias and I look at Zeke, and he's grinning from ear-to-ear. So this is his plan, have others unknowingly tease us.

"It was nothing," Tobias says, reigning in his anger. Uriah doesn't appear to know our secret.

"Do you want a drink or some snacks?" he asks, pointing toward the stage. "We have anything you could want, except for cake. The chefs wouldn't let us have any. I guess we'll have to dare James to steal some." His face falls momentarily while telling us there's no cake but then he grins at the idea of pranking James again. Poor James.

"This place is awesome, Uriah," I say, looking around once again, trying to get my mind off of Zeke's joke. "Tell me, did you get some ideas from Christina or should her job as Dauntless party planner be in jeopardy?"

"Hey! I heard that," Christina says from right behind me. I turn and give her an apologetic look then get a huge hug from my best friend. "Of course, I gave them ideas! Do you really think Zeke and Uriah could come up with all this by themselves?" She waves her hands in the air, pointing to the immaculate design.

"Hey! I'm standing right here," Uriah playfully pouts. "Oh! More guests. Please excuse me." He walks to the door to welcome James, Ciara, Kirsten, Ella, and their dates. All eyes fall on the men who turned our friends' heads. They look closer to identical twins than fraternal but one of them is noticeably shorter than the other. They both have chestnut-colored wavy hair and eyes the color of rich dark chocolate. Kirsten's date, Trevor, is about 3-4 inches taller and has a somewhat more muscular build than his brother, Stefan, but that's not saying he's a 90-pound weakling. They're both extremely attractive guys who look like they were made especially for Kirsten and Ella. I hope they treat them well. They deserve some happiness after the year they've had.

"Let's get a place to sit," Christina says, threading her arm through mine. "How did the memorial service go?"

"It was nice," I say and Tobias nods in agreement. Christina and I sit down on a plush-looking light gray loveseat.

"I'm going to go say hello to Zander and Stella. They just got here," Tobias says wanting to check on how they're doing this evening.

"Tell them hi," I say then I turn my attention back to Christina. "The memorial service was nice but it was rough. The emotions that she evoke in him are hard enough for him to deal with but then Marcus and Ethan showed up and made a bit of a scene. He let them stay after okaying it with his brother and sister. Right before Ethan left, I thought Four was going to take his head off when he called Tyler and Tessa _his_ children. I've seen Four angry before but nothing compare to this and rightfully so. They're _our_ kids not his."

"I'm sorry, Tris," she says. "It sounds like you both had a rough morning."

"It's behind us now. That's what matters," I say. "Hey, I meant to call you or stop by after you went home yesterday to check on you but things got really hectic. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine now but yesterday afternoon I was a total mess," she says. "Thank you for sending Will home for me by the way. It helped … a lot. That was very thoughtful of you."

"I knew your fear landscape was rough on you and that you would need him," I say then I sigh. "Four's was particularly bad, too. I watched him have to deal with the kids and me dying in a car accident. It damn near ripped my heart out of my chest."

"Oh, I'm sorry," she says. "I'm so glad I don't ever have to do that again," she says. "I wish I didn't have to monitor them either."

"I know what you mean," I say. "I even told Four that I didn't want to do that anymore but with my position as leader and an initiate instructor he told me that I have to. I'm not doing it again while I'm pregnant though. It's just too stressful for me and the baby."

"A little birdy told me that you and Four are moving," she says after there's a lull in the conversation.

"Will!" I say shaking my head and she just smiles sweetly and shrugs her shoulders. "Yeah, we're moving into apartment 15. I think we're lucky someone else didn't look at it first. It's … phenomenal."

"'Phenomenal?'" she repeats, doubt on her face.

"Yeah. Just wait until you see it," I say. "With the baby coming soon, Four and I have been concerned about lack of space. We both love our apartment but we have no idea what to do with two babies short of stacking them on top of each other." Her brows shoot up in surprise. "I'm kidding, Christina. Anyway, he brought up the idea of looking at a bigger place, and after thinking about it, I told him I would. The new apartment doesn't feel like home and I'm sure I'll bawl like a baby when we leave our place but it won't take long until the new space feels like home. I told Zeke earlier that Four and I will have to have a party on the rooftop deck when we get settled in."

"Rooftop deck?" she asks. She displays the same excitement level Zeke showed earlier as I describe each room to her in detail starting with the rooftop oasis. "I can't wait to see it! Thankfully you're still going to be just down the hall from me. I've gotten used to that."

"So have I," I say. "Hey, who's watching Liam tonight?" This is the first time she and Will have left their little guy, and I'm surprised that she looks so at ease. I was a wreck the first time I left Tessa.

"Her name is Kira Bell," she says. "She just turned 14. The administrators at upper levels gave me her name. I asked Avery if she knew who she was, and she told me she's the younger sister of her best friend and that she's very nice, respectful, and responsible. Will checked out her file, and she has had zero infractions. I'm sure I'll check in with her so many times that she'll never want to watch my little prince again."

"I don't want to think about having to find a new sitter," I moan. "Tyler _loves_ Avery, and she's so good with Tessa. I don't think he's going to understand why she's not the one watching him when we finally find a replacement. I must say, I really like the idea of my next sitter being 14 though. At least we'll have them for two years before we have to get new ones."

"Speaking of Avery, she's on her way over here right now, and she doesn't look so good," Christina says.

"Hi, Avery," Christina and I say at the same time.

"Hi, Tris, Christina," she says. "Tris, can I talk to you for a minute?" I notice that her usual spark is gone, and her tone is flat.

"Of course," I say, getting up off the love seat. She leads me to a quiet corner, her eyes averted away from mine the entire time. "What can I do for you, Avery?" She looks toward the floor and all around nervously. This behavior is quite out of character for her.

"I have a huge favor to ask. Can I watch Tyler and Tessa tomorrow night?" she asks, looking on the verge of tears when she finally meets my eyes. "I'm going to miss watching them, and this will be my last chance." I see why Zander and Stella are concerned. She's readying herself to leave Dauntless and wants to say goodbye to the people she loves.

"I'm not sure that's such a good idea," I say. "Your aptitude test is tomorrow, and you're supposed to think long and hard about what you learn from it tomorrow night. You have a huge decision to make on Monday. I'm afraid watching them will just be a distraction for you. I know my kids, especially Tyler, he won't give you two minutes of peace until he falls asleep." She laughs a real, unguarded laugh, and it's music to my ears. I don't like that she's in pain.

"I'd rather spend tomorrow night watching _Cars_ 100 times with Tyler and playing peekaboo with Tessa than doing almost anything else," she says, glancing nervously toward her parents. I look their way and Stella meets my gaze. She looks rightfully worried. I can't imagine Dauntless without Avery, and if she goes I imagine Callen will follow, and what would that do to my uncle? Callen is all he has left.

"Okay," I say. "If your Mom and Dad give you their permission then you can watch them for a few hours. I know they will love it because they love you. Thank you for always taking such good care of my children, Avery. I've never worried once leaving them with you." She throws herself at me, giving me a huge hug, which I gladly reciprocate.

"Thanks, Tris," she says as she backs away. She's frantically wiping tears off her cheeks, trying not to show any sign of weakness. _Typical Dauntless not wanting to show any emotion_. _I hope I see you on Monday, Avery._ One good thing about this is it will let Tobias and me talk to her tomorrow night without being too conspicuous. She definitely belongs here. "I'm going to go ask Mom and Dad right now, and I'll let you know what they say." I watch her walk over to Callen who has been lingering a few feet away before I return to the circle of couches. This time I sit down beside Tobias.

"What was that about?" he asks.

"She wants to watch Tyler and Tessa tomorrow night," I say. He furrows his brows in worry. "She's saying her goodbyes."

"Zander and Stella basically said the same thing a few minutes ago," he says, shaking his head regretfully. "She's arranging time with everyone she loves."

"I feel so bad for them," I say watching Zander and Stella sit down on the end of a couch close to where Avery, Callen, and their friends are sitting on the floor. "I didn't even know there was anything to worry about except for making the best choice for me until Tori gave me the news." I don't elaborate but he knows what I'm talking about.

"We really need to talk to her," he says. "Make her understand that we're here for her."

"We will tomorrow after she watches the kids," I say. "Let's try to have fun tonight." I look around the room and see mainly familiar faces but there are a few I've never seen before.

"Who's that with Hana?" I whisper in Tobias' ear. Sitting a few feet away, next to Hana on a red leather couch is a nice-looking middle-aged woman with a blonde bob, striking grey eyes, and an elaborate angel tattoo on her right arm and wrist.

"I think that's her best friend, Amanda, Angie, Abigail … something like that," he whispers back. I'm surprised that I've never heard of a best friend in all these months. "Can I get you something to eat or maybe a drink?"

"I'd love some apple juice and maybe a few snacks," I say. "It's hard to believe that I'm hungry again after that wonderful supper and huge slice of cake we just had but I am. You know what I like." He gives me a quick kiss then gets up and heads toward the stage. I watch him walk away until my view becomes blocked.

"Hey, Tris," Kirsten says. "I didn't think you were going to be here. Zeke told me that you and Four got tied up in the fear landscape room." I roll my eyes.

"Yeah, it seems like he told everyone that," I say trying not to blush scarlet in front of a perfect stranger.

"Well, I for one am happy you two finished early and were still able to come," she says. I wonder why everything sounds like a sexual innuendo tonight. He wouldn't have told our friends … _would he_? "I want to introduce you to Trevor Butler. Trevor, this is Tris."

"It's nice to meet you, Trevor," I say getting to my feet. He extends his hand to me and we shake. The gesture still feels awkward after a year.

"It's really nice to officially meet you, Tris," he says. "It feels like I know you and Four already."

"And this is Trevor's brother, Stefan," Ella says as they walk up to us. He, too, reaches his hand out for me to shake but he doesn't quite make eye contact.

"It's nice to meet you, Stefan." I feel Tobias' approach before I see him. Suddenly he's at my side, handing me a very large glass of apple juice.

"Thanks," I say. "Trevor, Stefan, this is my husband, Four."

"Trevor, Stefan," Tobias says while he shakes hands with each twin. "It's nice to meet you. Kirsten and Ella have told us all about you."

"All good things I hope," Trevor says with a melodic laugh, which makes us all want to join.

"Nothing but the best," Tobias says. "We've been looking forward to meeting you two and getting to know you better."

"The feeling is mutual," Stefan says. I see another difference in the brothers, Trevor is outgoing much like Kirsten and Stefan is more reserved like Ella.

"I'm glad you and Tris were able to finish up in the fear landscape room and join us tonight. I have a feeling it wouldn't be the same without you two here," Trevor says. Great, him too. What did Zeke do, send out a mass text?

"Thanks," Tobias says.

"Everyone listen up!" Zeke shouts, making me jump. All eyes turn toward him. "We're going to get this party started here in a few minutes once all our guests have arrived. Please make yourselves at home. There are snacks and beverages in front of the stage. Rest rooms are through the stage door and halfway down the hallway on the right. We'll go over all the rules before we start for the newbies. Everyone have fun!"

"I'd like to add something," Tobias says, surprising our hosts. "Everyone please be careful also. Tonight is meant to be fun but remember I will shut this party down if it gets out of control. Recklessness is not permitted. Also, please drink responsibly, and I know some of you choose the day after tomorrow so that means that tonight you are still dependents … no alcohol for you." I hear some rumbling at that announcement from Avery and Callen's friends.

"Very well said, Four," Uriah says. "Everyone get comfortable. We'll start soon."

"We better find seats," Kirsten says.

"It was nice meeting you both," Trevor says. Ella and Stefan give a little wave then follow behind Kirsten and Trevor. They all find places to sit near James and Ciara. I tell Tobias that I need to make a pit stop before things get under way, and I sneak off to the bathroom. When I get back, I sit down on the comfortable love seat and pull my phone out to check on the kids one final time before the party starts. I briefly talk to my mom who tells me that Tyler is sound asleep but Tessa has been fussing quite a bit.

"Does she have a fever?" I ask.

"No, she's cool," she says. Hhm. I wonder why my little one is fussy.

"Do you want us to come and get them?" I ask.

"No, Beatrice," she says. "I've taken care of cranky babies before."

"Is she wet or maybe hungry?" I ask, trying to pinpoint the reason my girl's not happy at the moment. "I still just feed her whenever she's hungry. She nursed practically back to back this morning. Maybe she's hungry."

"She's not wet, I just changed her," she says. "She might be getting hungry but she hasn't given me any cues yet. I'll check."

"You know, I'm going to come and get her," I say emphatically.

"Beatrice Grace, you will do no such a thing," she says just as forcefully. "She's not sick. Your father and I are taking good care of our grandchildren. Please try not to worry yourself. If something should arise, I'll immediately let you know." I sigh. Maybe I'm being overly cautious. They're in good hands.

"Okay," I finally say. "We'll stay and enjoy the party. It's about to start so I better let you go. Kiss the kids for me and tell them Mommy and Daddy love them. I love you, too, Mom. Give Dad a hug. We'll see you at noon tomorrow. Bye." I hang up and tuck my feet underneath me and lean up against Tobias who wraps his arm around me.

"Is something wrong with Tessa?" he asks, anxious. It's obvious he was listening to my side of my conversation with Mom.

"She's fussy again," I say. "Part of me really wants to go get her."

"She's not sick or anything, is she?" he asks, concern thick in his voice. I shake my head. "Good. She'll be alright. Just like you told me earlier, it's only for one night. She probably just misses her Mommy."

"You think?" I ask, wondering about his words. He shakes his head in disbelief.

"She loves you so much of course she's going to miss you when you're not there with her," he says.

"You're probably right," I say giving him a quick peck but it deepens until we're lost in each other.

"Hey … _guys!_ " Zeke calls out, dramatically clearing his voice. The sound of hushed snickers from around the room make me tear my lips from Tobias', and I find everyone staring at us. I automatically blush ten different shades of red and hide my face in his chest. "Nice of you two to come up for air! You know, Four and Tris almost didn't make it tonight. Something came up at the last minute but Four took care of it so that he and Tris could come." He tells the same tired story we've heard from everyone tonight, never taking his eyes off of Tobias who is trying hard to hide his glare but not quite managing. "Now that we have our fearless leaders' attention, we'll go ahead and get this party started. The rules are simple. If you refuse the challenge you're given, you have to take a piece of clothing off and shoes and socks don't count."

"Now that everyone knows the rules, it's time to get this party started," Uriah says with a huge grin on his face. I've never seen so many people at a Candor or Dauntless party. If I'm not mistaken I've counted 25 including myself. This should be interesting.


	16. Chapter 16

"Since this party was my idea, I'm going first," Zeke says. He slides his eyes around the room until they land on his first victim. "Four, my man, Candor or Dauntless?" Of course he starts with Tobias but then again he _always_ starts with him. I can only imagine what torture he has in store for my husband.

"Dauntless," Tobias says.

"I dare you to take Tris out to the middle of the Pit and make out with her for two minutes," he says. Great! He brought me into it. "This should be _easy_ for you." Tobias looks my way and I shrug. It's not like we haven't kissed in front of people before.

"Fine," Tobias says sounding more like Four. We get off the couch and walk to the center of the Pit floor, followed by all our friends. We stand awkwardly staring at each other before I finally stand on my tiptoes and bring his mouth to mine. The kiss starts out slow and timid because we can feel eyes boring holes into us but soon the desire we feel for each other takes over and everyone and everything around us melts away. The kiss deepens, and I have to fight the urge to take things further. He runs his tongue along my bottom lip, and I open my mouth to him. He thrusts his tongue deep into my mouth to find mine eagerly waiting to play. They collide, dance, dip, and twirl as I feel his hands moving over my back drawing me as close to him as my belly will allow. I keep my fingers stitched in his hair so that I'm not tempted to try to remove his shirt, which is becoming harder by the moment.

"Oh, for crying out loud," an unfamiliar voice says from about 10-15 feet away. I can actually picture the eye roll that goes along with the sigh. "Will you two get a room?"

"Time!" Shauna yells, further breaking our spell. He slowly drags his lips from mine, and we gaze into each other's eyes while trying to catch our breath. Knowing that there are dozens of eyes on me right now makes me blush, and Tobias draws me into his arms and kisses the top of my head. He keeps an arm around me as we walk back into the auditorium.

"Good job," Zeke says, patting Tobias on the back. "Who knew you could do it in public … make out, I mean." Every one laughs, except for Christina who I see narrow her eyes at Zeke. If he doesn't quit it, I'm going to be forced to relive my nightmare by giving her an explanation of his, in my opinion, not very funny jokes.

"Uriah, Candor or Dauntless?" Tobias asks.

"Did you honestly just ask me that, Four?" he asks with a roll of the eyes.

"Yeah, I did, pip squeak," Four says with a slightly menacing grin. Uriah's face falls.

"Don't call me that, man. You know I hate that," he says, pouting like someone just took the last slice of cake in the cafeteria. "You know my answer. Dauntless."

"I dare you to go to the Pit floor and do the hokey pokey and not just one verse either, the entire song." Everyone starts laughing.

"Alright," he says. He finishes whatever beverage he has in his hand then moves Marlene off his lap and gets up. He heads toward the door with us faithfully following close behind like little puppy dogs wanting to see the show he puts on. I notice that the Pit is more crowded than it usually is. I think the members want to see what we're up to. I watch as Marlene holds up her phone so she can tape the dare. He finds a spot where he has a little room and begins.

" _You put your right foot in, you put you right foot out, you put your right foot in, and you shake it all about. You do the hokey pokey, and you turn yourself around. That's what it's all about. Left foot_ ," he sings as he acts out each of the movements. We all stand back and watch as some people join him while others applaud and give cat calls but everyone laughs throughout the 12 versus that Uriah sings. I had no idea there were that many. When he finishes his final hokey pokey he does a deep bow to a rousing round of applause then we all return to our seats laughing heartily along the way. I see Uriah's eyes sweeping the room looking for his victim. "Ciara, Candor or Dauntless?"

"Dauntless, Uriah," she says.

"Hhm. I dare you to wear your bra on your head for the rest of this round," he says with a smirk on his face. She sighs loudly then shrugs. She reaches around under her shirt then with a couple more moves, pulls her bra out the armhole of her shirt.

"Ta-da!" she says with a giggle. She puts it on her head and ties it back under her ponytail then takes a bow.

"That was impressive," Uriah says. "I have to admit, I didn't think you would do that."

"What? Do you think I'm a _pansycake_?" she says, still giggling. He just rolls his eyes at her. "Stella, Candor or Dauntless?"

"Um, I'm going to go with Candor," she says. Uriah rolls his eyes. He loves a good dare.

"Who was your first love?" Ciara asks. Stella looks at Zander and blushes. Could her first love possibly be someone other than her husband?

"This is so embarrassing," she says. "But my first love was … Santa Claus." Everyone starts laughing. I see Avery roll her eyes at her mother's confession but laugh, too. "I thought I was going to marry him, and we'd live happily ever after. We would have all the toys we could want and live off milk and cookies."

"It's a good thing you met Dad," Avery says laughing, tears rolling down her cheeks.

"You have no idea how right you are," she says as she gives Zander a tender kiss. Avery covers her eyes and groans. "Tris, Candor or Dauntless?"

"Dauntless," I say. Uriah cheers a little too loudly, and I scowl at him.

"Go to the Pit and kiss the first person you see," she says. I think my mouth falls open. Wow! I wasn't expecting that from her. I look at Tobias and his expression is guarded.

"Out of respect for my husband," I say as I get up off the love seat, I slip the denim vest off and dramatically drop it to the floor.

"That's right," Tobias says as he pulls me down onto his lap. "These lips belong to me." He kisses me passionately but swiftly then lets me slide off his lap to sit next to him again.

"You know there are children in the room, you two," Zeke says with a grin on his face. Tobias narrows his eyes at his best friend as all the 16 year olds present scoff at being called children.

"Will, Candor or Dauntless?" I ask, my face still flush but whether it's from Tobias' kiss or Zeke's remark I don't know.

"I'm going with Dauntless," he says.

"I want you to prance around the Pit saying 'The leprechauns are coming, the leprechauns are coming,'" I say smiling brightly at him as the others snicker.

"Prance?" he says with a sigh. "Fine." He gives Christina a quick kiss then heads toward the doors, shoulders sagging. When he walks out onto the Pit floor his whole demeanor changes. He carries himself proudly and starts skipping through the throng of people, waving his hands back and forth.

"The leprechauns are coming, the leprechauns are coming," he says in a singsong voice over and over again. People are looking at him shaking their heads. I start laughing so hard tears roll uncontrollably down my cheeks. After he makes a couple rounds, he comes flying into the auditorium, and the doors are quickly closed behind him. He points at me and says, "I'll never do anything like that again. Shauna, Candor or Dauntless?"

"Dauntless," she says. He walks over to the snack table and picks up a banana. He tosses it to her before sitting down next to Christina. Everyone holds their breath in anticipation of what he's going to ask her to do, including me.

"Peel that without using your hands," he says. She looks at it for a moment then sighs. She unzip her jacket to revel a low cut V-neck t-shirt, and we think she's refusing the dare but she's not. She sticks the banana in her cleavage and takes ahold of the stem with her teeth. She squeezes her breasts together holding the fruit in place and tries to peel it but the skin's not budging. Finally, she bites down on the top of it, and every man in the room grimaces causing every woman to roll their eyes. She gets ahold of the stem again and this time easily peels the skin down. She repeats this three times revealing the flesh, which she then takes a big bite of. Zeke stares at her with darkening eyes.

"I love bananas," she says, taking another bite.

"Seriously, Shauna, you can take it out of your shirt now," Zeke says. She takes it out of her shirt and continues to eat it.

"Uh, Christina," Shauna says around a mouthful of banana after she looks around the room. "Candor or Dauntless?"

"I'll go with Candor," she says. "You know I'll tell it like it is."

"How many times have you checked in on Liam tonight?" she asks with a smirk.

"Seven," Christina says matter-of-factly. "He's okay by the way." This elicits another round of laughter from the room. "Lynn, you know the question."

"Candor," Lynn says.

"Pansycake!" Uriah yells at the top of his lungs and she glares at him.

"Have you ever loved someone who didn't love you back?" she asks. I hear Lynn's sharp intake of breath and know her answer.

"Yes," she quietly says but doesn't elaborate. "Zekey, Candor or Dauntless?"

"Dauntless," he says. An evil grin slowly forms on Lynn's face, and I wonder what she has in store for _Zekey_.

"I dare you to let Shauna shave your head completely bald," she says. A startled gasp settles over the group.

"If you _ever_ want sex from me again, Ezekiel, I suggest you take your shirt off," Shauna says crossing her arms over her chest in a huff. Hana puts her hands over her ears and starts humming.

"What are you doing, Mom?" Uriah asks, pulling her hands away from her ears.

"Call me old fashioned but I don't want to hear about either of my boys having sex," she says putting her hands back.

"Fine!" Zeke mutters as he rips his shirt off over his head. He never wears layers so his naked chest is on display for all to see. Lynn stands up and takes a bow, being one of only two people to _ever_ get him to take something off. "Four, you know the question." Again!

"Candor," he says. I see Uriah biting his lip to keep from calling out, and he frowns deeply.

"Where's the craziest place you've ever had sex?" Zeke asks. I cannot believe he asked that. Hana puts her hands back over her ears and everyone laughs. Tobias looks at me, and I blush bright red. There's no way that I'm allowing him to answer this. We would shock everyone in here with the answer including Zeke even though I'm confident he thinks he already knows the answer to his own question. He untangles himself from my arms, stands up, and takes his lightweight sweatshirt off and unceremoniously tosses it to the ground. I can tell that Zeke is dying to say something but he refrains himself. "Avery, Candor or Dauntless?"

"Dauntless!" It's nice to see her having a good time.

"Go to the cafeteria and sweet talk the chefs into letting you have three cakes: One chocolate, one vanilla, and one strawberry."

"Okay," she says. "Afton, come on. I'll need help carrying them." The petite red head with striking green eyes who's been sitting next to her nods and gets to her feet. We watch as they walk out the door.

"What happens when she comes back empty handed?" James asks. "You know those damn chefs don't like giving up the cake." Uriah nods in agreement.

"Give her time," Tobias says. "Who knows how this will play out?" Within five minutes the girls walk back in carrying the three cakes between them. James is speechless.

"Did you have to steal those?" he asks, finally finding his voice.

"Um, no," Avery says, obviously confused. "I just did what Four said and flirted with the chefs a little bit. They were really nice about giving me the cakes." Everyone laughs at the expression on James' face.

"You mean I could have just _asked_ for the cake instead of stealing it all this time. No security chasing me? No fear of becoming factionless? You guys _knew_ this, didn't you? That's why I always got that damn dare? I hate you." He collapses onto the couch next to Ciara who is trying very hard not to laugh.

"It took you long enough to figure it out," Zeke says. "Okay, Avery, keep this party going."

"Mr. Wright? Candor or Dauntless?" she says to my Uncle Nathan.

"Dauntless, Avery, and you can call me Nathan," he says.

"Go to the Pit and sing Happy Birthday at the top of your lungs," she says.

"That's a good one," Callen says. "Are you going to do it, Dad?" I think that's one of the longest sentences I've heard come out of Callen's mouth.

"Of course, son," he says. Once aging we all get up and hover by the door and watch as this time Nathan goes to the middle of the Pit floor. I hear him clear his throat clear over there, and then he starts to sing.

" _Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, happy birthday. Happy birthday to you_ ," he screeches at the top of his lungs. All eyes are on him and more than half the people are covering their ears, probably to keep them from bleeding. He's an absolutely horrible singer. He's smiling widely as he walks back into the auditorium.

"That was terrible," I say.

"I know," he says with a satisfied grin. "Zander, Candor or Dauntless?" Zander has to stop laughing so he can answer.

"That was awesome, Nate!" he says. My uncle stands and takes a bow, and we give him a round of applause. "Candor."

"Have you ever gone the whole entire day commando?" Nathan asks like he knows the answer. Sometimes I forget they were really good friends at one time. Zander looks like he's conflicted as to whether he wants to answer or not.

"Yes, I have but I'm not telling anyone why," he says. "Abigail, Candor or Dauntless?"

"I'll go with … Candor," she says. Hana's friend is Abigail.

"You're all a bunch of pansycakes," Uriah mumbles but we just ignore him.

"How long have you and Hana been friends?" Zander asks.

"Since the first day of lower levels," Abigail says. Wow, that's a long time. I hope my kids can make lifelong friendships. "Kirsten, Candor or Dauntless?"

"My peeps know me! They expect Dauntless," she says and the room cheers.

"I want you to go to the Pit and lick the face of a random stranger," she says. Ew! But knowing Kirsten like I do, she's going to do it.

"Okie dokie," Kirsten says. "Who wants to watch?" Once again we go to the auditorium entrance to watch. She walks around the Pit floor like nothing's up then grabs ahold of a 20ish looking guy with neon blue dreadlocks and licks the side of his face. The look that crosses his face is priceless. She pats his cheek then saunters back to us leaving him frozen in place. "Stefan, Candor or Dauntless?"

"Candor," he nervously says.

"What did you think when you first saw Ella?" Kirsten asks. I see a subtle flush settle on Stefan's cheeks. Yeah, he's definitely shy.

"I thought she was a beautiful woman but her attraction increased twofold when we had our first conversation," he quietly says. "She's more than beautiful, she's the most exquisite woman I've ever known." Ella leans over and gives him a soft kiss.

"Awe," comes out of my mouth just like it does with every woman in the room. I think we're all natural born romantics. That's probably one of the reasons why we're all such good friends.

"James, Candor or Dauntless?" Stefan says.

"Dauntless," he says.

"I dare you to read out loud your last text message," he says. He looks at Ciara who gives him a big grin. He takes his phone out of his pocket and scrolls through his texts.

" _'_ _Jamey, please pick up ginger ale and saltines on your way home',"_ he reads. _"'Bunny is making me nauseous. Love you, Cici.''_ " The meaning of the message hits me like a ton of bricks, and I jump to my feet.

"No!" I say excitedly. Half the people in the room seem to realize what the text means while the other half are sitting around looking lost.

"I'm not dumb," Will says. "I was born in Erudite, remember, but I have no idea what's going on right now."

"Think about it, Will," Christina says, a huge smile on her face. "Why did I need ginger ale and saltines?" I see the moment understanding lights his eyes.

"That's right folks, we're having a baby," James declares. "Thank you, Stefan, for your assistance. We thought tonight was the perfect time to make our big announcement. She's 12 weeks along." I cross the floor and give my friends each a huge hug and a quiet congratulations.

"Do you want another apple juice?" Tobias asks after he congratulates our friends also.

"Please," I say handing him my glass, which is still in my hand. "I'd also like some snacks. I'm hungry again or maybe I should say Peanut is."

"Okay," he says. He gives me a quick peck before I go back to my seat. I pull my phone out and send a text to Mom asking how Tessa is doing but she doesn't respond so I put it away when Tobias hands me a plate with veggies, chips, and chunked fruit with various dips, meatballs, and cheese slices.

"Thank you so much," I say. I take a large piece of cauliflower and dunk it in the dill dip and savor it. Tobias smiles as I thoroughly enjoy my snack. "Oh, I love you."

"Love you, too," he says as he steals a slice of cheese off the plate.

"Ella, Candor or Dauntless?" James asks when we all take our seats again.

"Dauntless," she says.

"I dare you to call the first person on your contacts list who isn't in this room and ask them 'When a cow laughs, does milk come out its nose?'" he asks with a smirk.

"Seriously?" she asks. She gets her phone out of her pocket and looks at it. "Okay, here goes nothing. I'm calling Bailey. She works at the store with me."

"Put it on speaker," James says. She dials the number, and on the second ring, a groggy-sounding woman's voice says hello.

"Hi, Bailey. It's Ella," she says. "I have a question for you. When a cow laughs, does milk come out its nose?" There's silence on the other end of the line.

"What?" she says, confused and still more than half asleep.

"When a cow laughs, does milk come out its nose?" Ella repeats.

"This is a joke, right?" she says sounding somewhat more alert. "You're at a Candor or Dauntless party, aren't you?"

"Yeah, sorry, Bailey," she says. "Go back to sleep. I'll see you Monday." She hangs up before she wakes her coworker up further. "Alright, it's my turn to torture someone. Trevor, Candor or Dauntless."

"Um, Candor," he says.

"Have you ever kissed a dude?" she asks. His eyes widen at the question.

"Well I've kissed my dad and my gramps but no I've never locked lips with another guy," he says. "I prefer woman. Marlene, Candor or Dauntless?"

"Nice to see you still remember my name, Trevor," Marlene says. "Trevor and Stefan's older sister used to babysit me. Let's see, Candor."

"Uh, you too, babe," Uriah says, completely disappointed in his girlfriend. She just rolls her eyes at him.

"What's the first thing you notice about a man when you find him attractive?" he asks.

"Easy, their eyes," she says, looking into Uriah's eyes. "Hana, Candor or Dauntless."

"Candor," she says.

"What's the craziest thing you've ever done while you were drunk?" she asks.

"Oh, that's easy, honey, I conceived your boyfriend," Hana says saluting the room with her half-empty wine glass. A look of utter horror crosses Zeke's face, and Uriah covers his ears, starts humming, and rocking back and forth. I think the Pedrad boys just learned more from their mother than they ever wanted to know. "And that's what you get for talking about sex in front of your mother. Callen? As my boys say, you know the question." He looks like a deer caught in the headlights listening to Hana.

"Dauntless," he says, finally recovering his voice.

"I want you to kiss the Pit floor for 15 seconds," she says. His eyes widen at the dare. He looks like he wants to refuse but I can see he doesn't want to appear to be, in Uriah's words, a pansycake. I think I now know where Zeke and Uriah get their ruthlessness when it comes to this game.

"The Pit floor is right outside the door," I remind him. "You don't have to go too far." He gives me a small gracious smile then gets up. He opens both doors, props them open, and lies down on the floor. He puckers up and kisses the floor. Hana counts out loud to 15 then he gets up and brushes himself off. Everyone laughs when he goes to the beverage table and downs an orange juice, sparkling cider, and a grape juice. "Murphy," he says to the tall, blonde curly-haired girl on the other side of Avery after he feels that he's washed the Pit floor out of his mouth, "Candor or Dauntless?"

"Candor," she says. He smirks at her.

"Who do you think is the hottest teacher at upper levels?" he asks. She grins as she looks at Avery and Afton.

"That would be Mr. Hankins," Murphy says confidently. Oh, I remember Mr. Hankins and the girl definitely has good taste. He is _very_ good looking. I look around and Christina, Marlene, and Lynn are all nodding in agreement. "Afton?"

"Candor," she says not giving her friend a chance to ask the question.

"Who was your first crush?" Murphy asks. Afton takes her lightweight jacket off and puts it beside her. "Rhys, Candor or Dauntless?"

"Dauntless," says the very big yet quiet 16-year-old who is beside Callen.

"I dare you to lick a toilet," she says.

"No way and I'm not a pansycake either, Uriah," he says as he takes a t-shirt off over his head. Uriah grins.

"Galen, Candor or Dauntless?" he asks the brown-haired boy sitting on the other side of Callen.

"Dauntless," he says.

"Put an ice cube down your pants and let it melt," Rhys says. Galen rolls his eyes at his friend and goes to the beverage table and takes a piece of ice out of the bucket holding bottles of beer. He comes to the center of the room, holds up the rather large cube so everyone can see it, then he puts it down his pants. Everyone whoops and hollers while he stands there shivering. I pull out my phone to check if I've received any news from Mom but there isn't any so I start to relax. I've always been told that no news is good news.

"That was awesome, Galen," Zeke says. "Not a lot of us have the balls to do that." He laughs loudly at his inappropriate joke as Galen flushes candy apple red. "Come on, let's keep this party going!"


	17. Chapter 17

Tobias and I play several more rounds of Candor or Dauntless while we eat, drink, and mingle with all our friends, old and new. I notice that Nathan and Abigail seem much taken with each other. I overheard him ask if he could walk her home, and they left about 15 minutes ago. Callen even appeared to be pleased for his Dad. I know it's the first time I've seen him with anyone since Dru's execution. Everyone gets to know more about Trevor and Stefan through the Candor questions they answer, neither one taking a dare all evening. They both seem quite smitten with Kirsten and Ella and exchange chaste kisses throughout the night. We also got to know Callen and Avery's friends, too. I really like Afton and her bubbly personality but it was hard to get to know Murphy or Galen because more times than not they had their tongues shoved down each other's throats. As for Rhys he kept to himself and only spoke to Callen or Galen in the rare moments he wasn't making out with Murphy. I found myself on multiple occasions hoping the three of them join a different faction come Monday.

Every time it's Zeke's turn to pick someone, he chooses Tobias, asking increasingly intrusive questions about our sex life, and if he doesn't stop, one, Tobias is going to be down to his underwear and, two, Tobias is going to throw Zeke in the chasm. Nothing seems to be off limits; he's asked about places, frequency, duration. And if Tobias tries to throw him by saying Dauntless, he just dares him to answer a question. He hasn't cracked a single joke since the one about us 'doing it in public' but I think all the questions he's asking are much worse. Part of me wants to stand up and say, "Yes, he caught us having sex in the fear landscape room," but then I'd never be able to bring myself to look at any of these people ever again.

The highlights of the night so far were when Christina dared James to bark like a dog every time someone said his name for the rest of the night, which he begrudgingly agreed to. It still amazes me how often his name gets worked into the conversation. One would think he would have learned his lesson with the chicken impersonation at the last Candor or Dauntless party and just take something off but no; Ciara dared me to go to the Pit and ask five random people to rub my belly. I didn't think it would be too bad but it actually was kind of creepy. I told her that she was going to get payback when the time comes; Kirsten dared Zeke to put a strapless dress and full makeup on and greet people in the Pit for five minutes. I've never seen so many photos taken in my life. Random people were getting their pictures taken with him. My stomach hurt so bad from laughing; Uriah had Hana dance the robot in the Pit, and we were all surprised at how good she was; Afton dared Avery to go to the Pit and play air guitar and dance to the song _Oh Pretty Woman_ by someone named Roy Orbison that Afton played on her phone. It was epic. She got a deafening round of applause and calls for an encore; Ciara dared Will to shake a strangers hand and refuse to let go. After a couple minutes the girl reared back and punched him in the eye. We all should have seen that coming; Shauna dared Zeke to repeat everything that Uriah said for two rounds. I was practically on the ground rolling it was so funny. Uriah was very self-deprecating to get a laugh. I choked and orange juice came out my nose when Zeke said, "I wet my bed every night and cry like a little girl." Tobias tried to put an end to our night right then but I was having too good a time.

Before we started this round, Tobias and Will took the unpopular step of telling the dependents that they needed to go home and get some rest before their aptitude tests tomorrow morning but the rest of us are still going strong.

"Whose turn is it?" Ciara says as we're once again laughing at James barking.

"It's my turn," I say. "Uriah, Candor or." He doesn't even let me finish the sentence.

"Dauntless," he says.

"I dare you to say Candor the next time you're asked," I say. He looks at me like I've suddenly grown two heads.

"You want me to answer a question?" he says, dumbfounded.

"Yes," I say, drawing it out like it has three syllables. He surprises me by taking his shirt off. "Really? I thought that would been easy one for you."

"I'll never say Candor," he says.

"You actually just did," says Will who starts laughing loudly. I think my friend has had a bit too much to drink. Uriah just ignores him.

"Zekey, my bro, Candor or Dauntless?" he asks. Zeke ponders this question for a while.

"Candor," he says.

"How many girlfriends have you had?" he asks.

"Girlfriends? Not dates who turned into psychos, right?" he asks, eyeing Shauna the entire time.

"Yep, girlfriend."

"Three," he says. "Four, you know the question." Here we go.

"Candor," Tobias says.

"So, Four, when's the last time you saw someone naked?" Zeke asks. I groan.

"What is up with all the prying questions, Zeke?" Shauna finally asks.

"I'm just having fun," he says with a slightly evil chuckle.

"Right before we came down for supper," Tobias says and I blush. Everyone looks at us. "I am _not_ taking my jeans off."

"This is our last round," I say. "I'm tired."

"You just don't want Zeke asking him anymore questions about your sex life," Christina says. "Just answer one, Four, and he'll stop, right, Zeke?" Zeke nods his head in affirmation.

"Someone _please_ tell me what the fascination is with our sex life," I say, really not understanding.

"You're from Abnegation," Lynn says like that explains everything. I stare at her, waiting for an explanation. "Everyone knows they don't have sex in Abnegation." I roll my eyes at her.

"First, we are both living proof that people in Abnegation have sex," I say pointing back and forth between Tobias and me. "Second, we aren't Abnegation anymore."

"We just wonder if you're more Dauntless or Abnegation," Marlene says. I have a feeling that our friends talk about us when we're not around.

"So, Four, Tris," Zeke says with a Cheshire cat grin, "where's the craziest place you've ever had sex?" Tobias and I meet eyes. We both nod and I sigh. It's obvious he's expecting us to say the fear landscape room. I've got news for him. "Say it together on the count of three. One … two … three."

"The top of the Ferris wheel," we say at the same time. That should shut them up. Zeke's mouth falls open as Tobias and I both smirk at him. Questions start flying our way but I start shaking my head.

"We answered his question now back … _off_ ," I firmly say as I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I notice that it's my mom calling and anxiety floods my veins because it is long past midnight. "Hello?" All I hear on the other end of the phone is Tessa's wailing. I cover the phone and yell, "Everyone _shut up_." The room falls silent at my outburst. I put the phone back up to my ear and say hello again.

"Beatrice, honey," my mom anxiously says, "I think you need to come and pick up Tessa. She's gotten steadily worse throughout the evening. I can't get her to eat, and she's been crying like this for more than 15 minutes now. I'm sorry to have to call but I'm worried."

"We'll be there as soon as possible," I say, hanging up.

"What is it?" Tobias says, worry on his face, dragging a shirt back on.

"Something's wrong with Tessa," I say. "She won't eat, and she's crying uncontrollably. We need to go." The celebratory atmosphere that we were just experiencing dies immediately.

"Has she been touching or pulling on her ears?" Zander asks, immediately going into doctor mode. I think quickly.

"No," I say. "She seemed fine before we dropped her off with my parents but Mom said she's been fussy all night."

"Without having her here to examine, I can only guess that it's an ear infection. Unfortunately they're common and I've seen several cases in the infirmary this week," he says. "Stop at the emergency room on your way home. She'll get a diagnosis and medication sooner that way. Go."

"Thanks, Zander," I say. Tobias and I practically sprint to our car and are on our way to Tessa within two minutes. He drives faster than normal but is extremely cautious, remembering his fear landscape I imagine. My knees are bouncing almost uncontrollably because of my nerves. We reach my parents' in record time. I hear poor Tessa long before we reach the house. I knock and let myself in, not wanting to wait to see her. Mom's trying to calm her in the kitchen but she's madder than I've seen her. Dad is pacing in the living room.

"Oh, my poor baby," I say taking her out of my Mom's arms. I cradle her close to my body and she calms a little bit. "What's wrong, sweetheart? Zander asked if she was touching or pulling on her ears. I never saw her do it when she was at home."

"That was the first thing I looked for when she started getting really fussy but she hasn't touched her ears," she says. I put my knuckle in her mouth and she acts hungry.

"Tobias we need to take her to the hospital," I say, worried tears gathering behind my eyes. "She needs to eat though."

"Is Tyler asleep?" Tobias asks.

"As amazing as it seems, he's slept through all the crying," Dad says. I place Tessa in Tobias' arms then head toward the stairs.

"I'll be back down in two minutes," I say. I fly up the stairs and check on Tyler who is indeed curled up in a ball in the middle of Caleb's old bed. I kiss his head and tuck him in. I then go in the bathroom and strip off the extra layers so I can nurse Tessa on the way to the hospital. I put the excess clothes in Tyler's overnight bag then hurry back downstairs. "Is it okay if we leave him here and keep our plans as they are for tomorrow? Four will come and get him from the park if I can't bring Tessa."

"Of course," Mom says. "Go." Tobias and I hurry to the car with Tessa still crying nonstop. Her wails are trying to tear my heart out and wake the neighborhood. I get in the backseat next to her car seat and Tobias carefully places her in my arms. I've got to get her to calm or she'll never latch on. I put her up over my shoulder, rubbing her back, and her crying subsides a little. We say a quick goodbye to my mom and dad and promise to update them on Tessa's condition when we know something, and then we head toward the hospital. I keep rubbing her back, and she lies her head down like she wants to rest. She looks up at me and my poor girl looks absolutely miserable. She gasps for a couple breaths and starts crying again. Oh, to hell with it. I pull my shirt up and my bra down and put her to my breast. After quite a bit of coaxing, she latches on.

"Is she alright?" Tobias asks when she abruptly stops crying.

"She's eating," I say.

"Oh, thank you, God," he says. "Do you think that's all it is?"

"No, she honestly looks like she doesn't feel well," I say. "I don't know if Zander's right and it's an ear infection or not but something's definitely wrong. I feel bad that we were out having fun and she's been sick." I run my hand over her head as she nurses.

"We didn't know," he quietly says. I think he feels just as bad as I do but he's trying to make me feel better. "We never would have knowingly just left her when she was sick."

"I know," I say. We're quiet the rest of the drive to the hospital. I never take my eyes off of Tessa. I continue to softly caress her head and cheek. She keeps her eyes closed but she doesn't stop eating, which is a good sign in my opinion. We pull up in front of the hospital, and I toss a blanket over her head, and we head in to the emergency room. I sit in the deserted waiting room with Tessa at my breast while Tobias goes in search of a nurse or doctor. Two minutes later he comes back with Dr. Wilson on his heels.

"I hear Miss Tessa isn't feeling well," he says. We get up and follow him into a private examination room. I unlatch her, and she starts wailing as I hand her to Tobias. "I see what you mean about crying. Let me take a look." Tobias lies her on the examination table as I straighten my clothes. I move to their side and try to shush her the best I can but she's mad again. We watch as the doctor puts a thermometer to her ear and makes a notation. "She's running a low-grade fever." He takes his stethoscope from around his neck and places it against her chest to listen to her heart and lungs. He next uses an otoscope to look in both ears. "Has she been sick recently?" He continues with his physical exam, waiting for our answer.

"She was pretty fussy early in the week but she didn't seem ill," I say. "Four and I both thought she was just cranky from being away from us last weekend."

"Let me see if I have this right," Dr. Wilson says. "She was fussy earlier in the week but seemed to recover her good mood but then today her mood deteriorated quickly, she wouldn't take a bottle, and she began crying uncontrollably. Is this correct?"

"Yeah," I say. "Dr. Parrish thought it might be an ear infection but told us to come here since this was closer, and we don't want her suffering any more than she already is."

"His instincts are right on the money," he says. "She actually has double ear infection. I imagine she had a slight cold earlier this week that settled in her ears. There's nothing you could have done to prevent it. I'm going to write a prescription for an antibiotic to give to her three times a day for the next 10 days."

"We are supposed to have a get together with my family tomorrow in the city park," I say. "Should I keep her home?"

"If she seems like she's feeling better, I would say it would be alright to take her," he says. "Just put a hat on her head and make sure you give her the medication at regular intervals throughout the day. My nurse will be in with her first dose in a few minutes. I'll write you a prescription you can have filled at Dauntless' pharmacy. Do you have any questions for me?"

"Is this contagious? Do we have to worry about Tyler, too, and what about the pregnancy? Is Tris okay?" Tobias asks.

"An ear infection itself is not contagious," the doctor says. "But the cold Tessa had was but if Tyler hasn't exhibited any symptoms, he should be fine. As for you, Tris, how are you feeling?"

"I'm exhausted and very emotional right now listening to her cry like this but I don't feel sick," I say.

"You can take her," he says and I immediately pick her up and try to get her to calm down. "Get plenty of fluids and rest. I know it won't be easy with a sick infant but I'm sure your husband will be more than happy to help out."

"Of course," Tobias says.

"The nurse will be in in a moment," he says as he exits the room. Tears I've been holding back trickle down my cheeks as I look at Tessa.

"I'm so sorry, little one," I say. "You weren't feeling well and Mommy didn't see it."

"Neither one of us saw it," Tobias says. "At least she's hungry." We watch as she puts her fingers in her mouth and sucks on them vigorously. She takes them out and cries louder making my heart hurt. I sit us down in the chair in the corner of the room and pat her back in hopes of getting her to burp. I'm about ready to say the hell with it and start nursing her again when Isobel walks into the room.

"Hi, guys," she says. She comes over with a bottle of liquid and a dropper and gives Tessa the prescribed amount. She makes a funny face when the medication touches her tongue but she swallows it down. "You can go ahead and continue nursing her." Thankful for the go ahead, I once again lift my shirt and lower my bra. Tessa doesn't need any coaxing this time to latch on.

"Why wouldn't she take the bottle Mom tried to give her earlier? She wouldn't be this hungry if she had," I ask, not taking my eyes off of Tessa.

"One symptom of an ear infection is decreased appetite and also maybe she prefers your nipples instead of the artificial ones and not feeling well made her refuse the bottle." Isobel leans over to see how Tessa is doing. "She doesn't seem to be having a problem right now. You can stay and feed her or you're free to go."

"How are you feeling?" I ask. "You must be exhausted."

"Luckily my body is used to the occasional nightshift," she says. "And now that my first trimester is over, I feel great. How are you doing, Tris?"

"I need to get home and get to bed," I say. "Other than being tired from a very long day and freaked out over the fact that my baby is sick, I'm fine."

"Here's the prescription, Four," she says, handing Tobias a small, square piece of paper. "Tessa needs one-half dropper full three times a day for the next 10 days. I would suggest giving it to her right before nursing that way she'll swallow it willingly. It's a natural grape flavor and some babies don't like it."

"I don't think my girl likes it," I say. "She sure did make a funny face when you gave it to her. I think we're going to go, Isobel. Thanks for always working." She laughs at my not too far off assessment. Tobias puts the lightweight blanket over my shoulder and our daughter, covering my exposed breast. We walk to the car, and he helps me into the backseat. She never misses a beat and nurses the entire time. "Please take your time getting us home. We're in no hurry now."

"Of course, love," he says. When he pulls away from the curb, I move the blanket so I can look into Tessa's perfect face. Her eyes still tell me that she's not feeling well. I feel like a terrible mother. Just when I think I'm getting the hang of motherhood, something like this happens. Tears well up in my eyes but I will them away. My little angel shouldn't see her Mommy crying. I paint a smile on my face in hopes that it will be real soon enough.

"Is your tummy finally full?" I ask her when he pulls away from my chest. I put her up to my shoulder and don't have to pat her back long before she burps.

"Your burps put grown men's to shame, Pebbles," Tobias says from the front seat with a chuckle. I fasten her into her car seat, and she starts crying again but not as loud as before.

"Please don't cry, little one," I say as I caress her cheek with my finger. "You're making Mommy very sad. Hush my sweet baby girl." She calms down but she doesn't stop crying. When we pull into the garage, I unbuckle her and cradle her with her head tucked into the crook of my arm. "You're fighting sleep, aren't you? You go right ahead and close those beautiful eyes. Mommy and Daddy will be here when you wake up, Tessa." I tickle her face on our walk up to our apartment, and when I see her eyelids sagging, I close them with my fingertips, and she falls into a restless sleep.

"You got her to sleep," he quietly says. "We should go to bed also. It's nearly 3 a.m." We climb the stairs and I stall in front of Tessa's room. "Put her in the bassinet in our room, love. I can tell you don't want to be far from her." I walk behind Tobias who removes the folded blankets we had stored in the bassinet and gently lie her down.

"I was scared, Tobias," I say. "I've never heard her sound like that. She sounded like she was in pain." He wipes the tears that escape away with his thumbs and kisses the corner of each eye.

"She's okay," he says. "Come on, let's go to bed." I sit on the edge of the mattress and watch him strip out of his clothes and toss them in the hamper.

"No PJs tonight" I say. "I need to feel your body against mine." I make quick work of my shirt, pants, bra, underwear, and socks, tossing them to the ground then slide between the sheets.

"Okay, love," he says. He gets into bed and rolls up behind me. He wraps his arms around me, pulling me up against his body. The moment our bare bodies touch, the tension I've felt since receiving Mom's call disappears. "I love you, Tris. Sleep now, my love." I clasp my hands with Tobias' and close my eyes, surrendering myself to the fatigue.

I roll over, and when my eyes slide open, I find myself gazing into the most beautiful face I've ever seen. It's just before dawn yet he looks wide awake. His hand gently caresses down my cheek before his mouth meets mine in a tender kiss.

"That was really nice," I say, lovingly stroking his face. "I should check on Tessa." After I roll out of bed, I softly pad across the room to the bassinet and find her still sound asleep. Strong arms wrap around me, and I lean back against his muscled chest. We stare down at our slumbering daughter. "I didn't hear you get out of bed."

"I'm in stealth mode," he says with a chuckle causing me to smile. "Want to come back to bed?"

"Yeah," I say. "But I'm too tired to fool around if that's what's on your mind."

"Even though making love to you isn't far from my mind on most occasions, I know now isn't the right time," he says. "Our daughter is sick, and she's here in the room with us. I wouldn't feel comfortable."

"I just want you to hold me," I say. "I want to feel your arms around me. That always makes me feel better." I face him, resting my head against his chest, and we wrap ourselves around each other. Any other time, this would be very arousing but right now I only find it comforting.

"I love you," he quietly says.

"I love you, too," I say, closing my eyes. After about half-an-hour of worry, I sigh.

"I didn't know you were still awake," he says.

"I'm having a hard time falling back to sleep," I say, not sure if I should tell him why I'm feeling this way. I tilt my head back and look into his face. "I feel guilty, Tobias. Part of me knows that I shouldn't feel this way. Kids get sick all the time. The rational part of my brain knows this. But the bigger _irrational_ part of my brain is telling me I'm a bad mother." He starts to interrupt me but I put my finger up to his mouth then replace it with my lips. I kiss him softly for a minute or two. "I needed that."

"It was nice," he says then he sighs. He caresses my face as he gazes at me. "You are _not_ a bad mother. Please don't ever think that. You're forgetting Evelyn Johnson Eaton was my mother. I _know_ what a bad one looks like. Love, you are not it. You care about our kids so much so that instead of getting the rest you deserve, the rest you _need_ , you're worrying about Tessa and probably Tyler and Peanut, too. As long as you are thinking about them, loving them with all your heart, and doing what's best for them, you'll never be a bad mother."

"How do I know what's best for them?" I ask, my voice small. He places his large hand over my beating heart.

"You let this guide you," he says. "Will we get it wrong sometimes? Of course, we will. We're human but that doesn't make us bad parents." I tighten my arms around him and kiss his chest.

"I love you very much, Tobias Eaton. I'm glad I have you. You always know the right thing to say to make me feel better." I involuntarily yawn into his chest, and he gently strokes my back up into my hair then back down in a hypnotic rhythm.

"Sleep, my love. Our day will start soon enough," he whispers in my ear as I'm dozing off. "I love you, too, my Six … more than anything."


	18. Chapter 18

I can feel my body trying to drag me from the relaxing state it's in. I fight it for as long as I can but finally lift my heavy eyelids. I reach out for Tobias but his side of the mattress is warm but empty, meaning his exit wasn't too long ago. I get out of bed and go to check on Tessa but she's not in the bassinet either. I find my robe and put it on as I go downstairs.

"Do you want your Mommy, Pebbles?" I hear Tobias say before I reach the landing. I hear her whining and realize he must be trying to feed her. Sure enough he's sitting in the club chair, Tessa cradled in his arms, trying to give her a bottle that she is refusing.

"Good morning," I say at the same time there's a knock on the door.

"Good morning, love," he says. "Can you get the door? It should be Will with Tessa's medicine. I asked him to go get it so I wouldn't have to wake you up." I make sure the belt on my robe is tightly fastened and open the door.

"Hi, Tris," he says.

"Good morning, Will," I say then try to hide a yawn.

"Here's Tessa's medicine that Four asked me pick up," he says, handing me the package. "How is she feeling this morning? You guys had us worried last night when you took off like you did." I never thought to let our friends know how she was.

"Honestly, I just woke up so I really don't know how she is but at least she's not crying," I say. "Did Four tell you she has double ear infection?"

"Yeah," he says. "Poor girl."

"I'm really sorry for not letting you and Christina know how she was doing last night," I say. "I really wasn't thinking."

"It's alright," he says. "I'm glad she's going to be okay and that it was nothing too serious. Well, I better get home."

"Thanks for getting her medication for us," I say. "We appreciate it. Tell Christina hi and kiss Liam for me." I lock the door behind him and sit on the end of the couch. Tobias gets up and hands me Tessa then I give him the package Will gave me. "I think we're supposed to give her another dose now if I understood Isobel correctly." He opens the package and reads the instructions.

"You're right," he says. He carefully measures out the antibiotic and puts the dropper in Tessa's mouth after I sit her up a little so she doesn't choke. She makes the exact same face she did when Isobel gave it to her.

"How are you feeling this morning?" I ask her as she eats. Once again it takes me quite a bit of coaxing to get her to latch on but once she does, nothing is going to stop her. "You look better than you did last night. You have a little sparkle in your eye. You probably just want to go to the park and that's why you're acting like you feel better. Tobias, would you call Mom and Dad and check on Tyler and let them know about Tessa?"

"I did about five minutes before you came downstairs," he says. "Your parents are sad to hear of Tessa's ear infections and sorry they didn't call sooner last night. I assured them that it wasn't their fault. Tyler's apparently upset because she's sick and he's not with her. They offered to bring him home but he really wants to go to the park."

"I know Tyler loves his sister but this proves he loves the park even more," I say with a chuckle and Tobias laughs with me. He sits down beside me with his arm on the back of the couch.

"Did you sleep well?" he asks. "We had a very busy day yesterday. How are you feeling?"

"Sleep was refreshing but short. I feel great though, except my back is bothering me a little bit," I say with a sigh.

"What is it, love?" he asks.

"The aches and pains are only going to get worse unless some miracle happens and the third trimester is my best," I say. "We both know that's not going to happen. Then there's the birth. The pain scares me to death. I've learned I'm pretty strong but I'm not a masochist. I don't like pain."

"If I could take all your pain away, I would," he says. "If I could switch places with you and get us through the labor and delivery, I would do it in a heartbeat. I don't relish the thought of you suffering because of something I did."

"We did," I say. "We made this baby together." He smiles his brilliant, heart stopping smile and kisses my temple.

"Yes, we did," he says. "Tell me, love, what would you like for breakfast?"

"French toast, eggs, bacon, and apple juice," I say. I've come to really appreciate apple juice.

"You've thought about this, haven't you?" he says with a chuckle.

"Maybe," I say, looking down at Tessa. "Mommy's really, really hungry."

"I'll get right on it," he says. He gives me a quick kiss then heads into the kitchen.

"Hi, little one," I say as I caress Tessa's cheek. "I see that you wouldn't take the bottle for Daddy either. Does that mean I'm going to have to leave my initiates so I can feed you? I'll let you in on a little secret, I would rather spend my time with you than a bunch of new recruits. I sure would." When she finishes, I continue holding her close. She coos a little but I can tell she's not 100% herself. I get up off the couch and sit down at the island. "Baby, I'm not sure I should take her to the park. Maybe I should stay home with her."

"If that's what you really want to do, I'll understand," he says. "I think everyone will be disappointed but her health is what matters."

"I know," I say. I look down into her beautiful face and see that her eyelids are fluttering. I catch Tobias' attention and put my finger up to my mouth letting him know that she's trying to fall asleep. He nods in acknowledgment. I put her in the bassinet and pull up the sunshade so the light stays off her face so she can sleep in peace then eat the delicious breakfast Tobias fixed for us. He insists that I lie down on the couch while he cleans up the kitchen. I finally relent and lie down but I can't fall asleep. I close my eyes and try to turn off my brain for a while but nothing happens. When, I open my eyes, Tobias is sitting on the floor in front of me, gazing lovingly at me.

"Hello," he says.

"Hi," I say. "I can't sleep." He furrows his brows at me, confused.

"Love, you've been asleep for the last two hours," he says. _I have?_ Hhm.

"Tessa?" I ask starting to get up.

"Calm down," he says, gently putting a hand on my shoulder. "She's right here." He nods to where she is lying on the floor next to her Daddy. She's on her tummy, head held high looking all around. When her eyes meet mine, she smiles a brilliant smile and coos at me.

"Hello, little one," I say. "Is it my imagination or are you actually feeling better?" She flops down on her belly and rolls over then rolls the other way and smiles at me. "Are you Mommy's little show off? I think we can take her to the park. We'll just have to stop by the boutique for a hat that will cover her ears though."

"I had the same thought," he says. "I tell you what, let me go and pick out something for her."

"Okay," I say. "How about I take a quick shower then you can go."

"Alright," he says. I get up off the couch being careful of our little one who is now mobile on the living room floor. I take a quick shower then throw my robe back on. When I return to the living room, Tobias has Tessa in his arms telling her about the new apartment. "You'll have your own room and bathroom that you won't have to share with anyone else. There's enough space that one of the rooms can be a playroom. I bet you, your brother, and sister would like that." She laughs at her Daddy as he peppers kisses on her cheek.

"How are two of my most favorite people?" I ask as I sit down on the couch.

"We are wonderful," Tobias says, looking my way. Then he looks at Tessa and says, "Do you want your Mommy?"

"Of course, she wants me," I say holding my arms out to him. He gives me Tessa, kisses us both, then goes upstairs to get ready. We lounge on the couch until he comes back downstairs.

"I'm going to go pick out the cutest hat I can find," he says. "I'll be back as soon as possible. Love you both."

"We love you, too," I say, waving Tessa's arm at him as he heads out the door. "Let's go find something for Mommy to wear today." I get up off the couch and carry her up the stairs. I stand in front of my closet and stare at the black and gray contents, longing for a little color. "That's something that's awesome about your clothes, Tessa, they aren't all black and gray with the tiniest amount of red. You get pinks and greens and yellows and blues and purples. Dear God, I'm jealous of my 11-week-old's wardrobe. Go figure." I roll my eyes at my absurdity. I see a shirt Christina gave me, and I think this will be the perfect time to wear it. I lie Tessa on the floor and put on a pair of dark gray maternity shorts and a black fitted tank top that says "[bump] baby under manufacturing process" in dark gray faux jewels on the front. I sift through my shoes and pair the outfit with comfortable 1 inch open toe leather mules. "Are you ready to go back downstairs and wait for Daddy? Wait, I have a better idea." I pick her up off the floor and head to her bedroom, giving her kisses along the way. I sit in her rocking chair and snuggle with her. We rock in silence, our eyes locked on each other. I expect hers to shut soon but they're wide and alert.

"There you are," Tobias says from the doorway. He holds up a sack and says, "I got her the cutest little hat. Give her to me, and I'll get her ready. I want it to be a surprise."

"Okay," I say. He takes her out of my arms and eyes my shirt.

"You look beautiful, Tris. That shirt's cute," he says. "Is it new?"

"New to me," I say. "It was Christina's, and she only wore it once. I thought it would be comfortable for today. I'll leave you two alone to get ready." While I'm patiently waiting for Tobias and Tessa to come downstairs, I pack her diaper bag. When I turn around Tobias is holding Tessa who is dressed in a new matching romper and bonnet set with large pink, orange, and fuchsia flowers and green leaves on a black background and her black Mary Jane's. She looks absolutely adorable. "Oh! You are the cutest baby."

"I couldn't pass it up," he says. "I could have gotten her ten different hats but this was well worth the point I had to pay for it." I look at the hat and it's not only stylish, cute, and charming but since it's covering her ears like Dr. Wilson ordered, it's functional also.

"She's got you wrapped around her little finger," I say placing my lips to his for a soft kiss then kissing her little cheek. Tobias puts her in my arms, and she starts sucking on her fingers. I glance at the clock and know that she shouldn't be hungry under normal circumstances but this ear infection has turned her eating schedule upside down. "I'm going to feed her then we can go. Will you call my mom and tell her we'll be a few minutes late. I don't want anyone to worry about us." I sit down and nurse Tessa again after giving her a second dosage of antibiotics and watch Tobias gather everything we prepared for the barbeque this afternoon. He digs the picnic basket out of one of the cupboards and double checks its contents and then packs it and the cooler.

"Your mom told me that Tyler's been playing on the swings at the park for over half-an-hour already," Tobias says as we walk out to the car, which he parked on the curb after he bought Tessa her outfit. "He apparently asked to leave early so he could get extra time playing."

"My parents have changed so much since Tyler and Tessa came into their lives," I say as I buckle a sleeping Tessa into her car seat. "I never remember getting to play at the park. I know you went through hell in your childhood but I envy the time you spent with Evelyn at the Navy Pier just being a normal kid." He tenses at the mention of his mother but quickly relaxes. "I remember playing games with Caleb on Saturday mornings but about the time we turned four and five, they made us quit. Then our lives were all about putting other's needs above our own." I sigh as I remember my upbringing. It wasn't bad, it was just … different. "It wasn't a bad childhood, don't get me wrong, but I want so much more for our kids, and I'm thankful that my parents are allowing our son to be a little boy right now and not imposing their rules on him." I'm quiet for a while, staring out the window, watching the buildings fade into greenery on our way to the park. "I'm sorry if I made you think about your parents. That wasn't my intention."

"I wasn't," he says. I give him a skeptical look. "Okay, maybe a little but don't feel bad about it. Remembering where I came from reminds me how far I've come."

"You have such a wonderful attitude," I say. I reach over and clasp my hand with his. "I'm looking forward to today. How about you?"

"I've been anxiously awaiting today since we made the plans with your parents and brother," he says. "I'm glad we invited Jeffrey and Laurel also. I can't wait to get to know them better."

"I'm happy that you found your brother and sister," I say. "I look forward to getting to know them also." We pull into the sizeable park and drive to the prearranged meeting spot and park the car. I see Tyler playing on the playground equipment but he hasn't seen us yet. I look around and see Mom and Cara lounging under a big oak tree, which seems like the perfect spot to escape the heat of the midday sun.

"Why don't you take Tessa over with your mom and Cara and I'll unload the car," Tobias says. I'm about ready to argue when I see Dad and Caleb heading our way.

"Okay," I say. I unbuckle Tessa from her car seat and gently ease her out, trying not to wake her and I succeed. I lay her against my shoulder, making sure both her ears are still covered.

"Hi, Beatrice," my dad says as we pass. Caleb gives me a smile but says nothing.

"Hi, Dad, Caleb," I say. "Can you help Four unpack the car? I would but I'd like to get Tessa out of this sun. How is your shoulder, Caleb?" I know his gunshot wound is healed but I still worry about him.

"I'm back to my old self," he says, flexing the muscles in his upper arm. "Thanks for asking. I can't believe how big she's getting or you for that matter. Go. We'll talk later." I'm almost to the tree when Tyler sees me.

"Mommy, Mommy," he yells running my way. He runs into my legs, nearly toppling me over.

"Sshh," I whisper, ruffling his hair. "Tessa's not feeling very well so she's asleep."

"Sowwy," he whispers, full of remorse. He takes my hand, and we walk the rest of the way to the large blanket spread beneath the stately oak tree. I lie Tessa down and sit with my back against the tree then pull Tyler into my arms and hug him close. "How's my boy? I sure missed you last night. Did you have a good time with Grandma and Grandpa?"

"Yep!" he says. "Can I play?"

"Of course you can … _after_ you give me one more hug," I say. He hugs me tightly and surprises me with a big kiss. "I love you, Tyler. Go play but be careful and stay where Mommy and Daddy can see you."

"Otay!" he says as he runs toward the slide. If I could figure out a way to put one of those in his bedroom, he would be in seventh heaven.

"Hi, Tris," Cara quietly says.

"Hi, Cara," I say. "Hi, Mom. Thanks for keeping the kids last night. And I'm sorry for not saying hello sooner. I just needed to talk to Tyler for a minute."

"The kids were fine last night until I couldn't get Tessa to calm down," Mom says. "Nothing like that has ever happened to me before."

"That must have frightened you," I say.

"It did," she says, looking a bit distressed. "I'm sorry I had to call and interrupt your evening but nothing I did would calm her."

"She was hungry, mad, and not feeling well, which is quite a combo for my little girl," I say caressing her back. "It takes quite a bit to get her to eat, and she won't take a bottle. The doctor gave her an antibiotic, and she's had three doses now. When she's awake, her spark is back but she sleeps a lot."

"That's such a cute outfit," Cara says.

"Four bought it for her," I say digging a lightweight blanket out of the diaper bag Tobias just sat down next to me. I drape it over Tessa, making sure that the breeze doesn't make her sicker than she is. "The doctor said it was fine to bring her today if she was feeling better and if we put a hat on her. Unfortunately, we didn't have a hat. Four volunteered to go to the boutique for one, and he came home with an entire outfit."

"She'll never want for anything," Tobias says as he sets up the travel sleeper but I leave her next to me for now.

"How are things with you, Cara?" I ask. "Have you been to see Will, Christina, and Liam since the hospital?"

"I haven't," she says, sounding sad. "I wanted to make some time to see them before initiation starts but time got away from me. Caleb had to practically drag me here today but I'm glad he did. I need some downtime, and it's nice spending time with you guys." I find it hard to believe that there was a time when I thought ill of my brother's girlfriend. Every time I saw her I wanted to punch her. Thankfully, that urge has subsided. "You're involved with your initiation process, aren't you?"

"Yeah, Four and I both are and Christina as well," I say. "It's going to be a very trying nine weeks but I'm looking forward to the challenge." We talk about Choosing Day and initiation for a while longer. I find that I like talking with Cara. She's definitely smart but she doesn't flaunt it like most Erudite do, and I don't have a problem keeping up with her, which I owe to my divergence. Tessa wakes from her nap and is a little cranky. I pick her up and snuggle her close but she continues to whine so I get up and walk to the slide, trying to get her earlier good mood to return. When she sees Tyler on the slide she laughs at him.

"Is Tess laughin' at me?" he asks as he comes running to me.

"Yes," I say. "She can't wait to play with you."

"Tess feeling good?" he asks.

"She gets to feeling a little bit better each time Mommy and Daddy give her the medicine the doctor gave her," I say.

"Is anyone hungry?" Tobias asks as he comes up behind us. I look at Tyler who nods his head vigorously up and down. "I'll put the meat on the grill then. We'll eat soon. Tyler, why don't you rest before lunch and you can play afterwards." I can tell that he wants to argue but he doesn't. He holds his hand up to me, and I take it and lead us back to the blanket. We sit in the shade drinking bottles of ice water watching Tobias man the built-in charcoal grill beside the concrete picnic tables. I see Jeffrey, Laurel, and their little brother, Aaron, approaching from the west.

"Who that?" Tyler asks, carefully watching their approach. How to explain this.

"Cara, would you like to hold Tessa?" I ask. I was going to give her to my mom but this will make Cara feel included.

"Yeah, I'd love to," she says. I place her in Cara's arms, and Tessa just stares at her then smiles. Caleb sits down beside them and starts talking to Tessa.

"You are the cutest baby I've seen," he says and she smiles at him. My girl likes compliments.

"Come here, Tyler," I say. He scrambles onto my lap and listens carefully. "The older two are Jeffrey and Laurel Walsh. They are Daddy's brother and sister. The younger one is their little brother, Aaron." He turns his head and watches their slow approach. "Jeffrey is your uncle and Laurel is your aunt just like Caleb is your uncle."

"What about Uncle Zeke and Wiah?" he asks, somewhat confused.

"They're your uncles because they are really good friends of Mommy and Daddy's not because we're related," I say.

He smiles his brilliant smile and says, "Otay!" I put my arms around him and kiss his cheek. "Oh, baby kick me."

"She sure did," I say rubbing my belly where Peanut just connected with what felt like a knee or elbow.

"Hi, guys. You made it just in time for lunch," Tobias says as our guests reach us. "I'm almost done here then we can sit down for a nice meal." I move Tyler off my lap and he sits down next to Caleb, Cara, and Tessa. I get up and help Mom put red-and-white check linen tablecloths on the side-by-side picnic tables. I unpack the food while she puts plates, utensils, and glasses from the picnic basket at each place setting.

"Everything looks wonderful," Dad says as we all sit down to eat lunch. "Before we begin I would like to say grace." Everyone bows their heads then my father continues. "Bless the food before us, the family beside us, and the love between us. Amen. Let's eat." The conversation at the table flows easily just like the fresh squeezed lemonade and apple juice. We learn so much more about one another. I know I for one am appreciative of this time with my family and extended family. I hope we can continue to have gatherings like this in the future.

After lunch is over we can't keep Tyler off the playground equipment. He tries to enlist everyone to join him but only my dad takes him up on his offer. I watch as Dad follows him over the swinging bridge, up the stairs to the tall tower, then they fly down the slide, Tyler sitting on his lap. I see Aaron eyeing them longingly. I want to tell him to go play but it isn't my place to. Laurel is holding Tessa, who is laughing at her aunt while Tobias sits next to them being the protective father he is. Jeffrey is making small talk with Caleb and Cara. This day couldn't get any more perfect.

"Where are you going?" Tobias asks when he watches me get to my feet.

"To play with our son," I say. "Will you check Tessa's diaper? It's been a while since she's been changed." I walk over to the jungle gym and watch Dad and Tyler on the slide. I sit down on one of the swings and Tyler comes running over.

"I push you," he says. He gets behind me, and I feel his little hands on my backside, pushing me. Before long he has me swinging at a pretty good clip.

"You're doing such a good job pushing Mommy," Tobias says. "Why don't you jump on the swing next to her, and I'll push you both."

"Otay, Daddy," he happily says.

"You hold really tight, Tyler," I say. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"Otay, Mommy," he says then he squeals as Tobias starts to push him. He alternates between pushing me two or three times then he gives Tyler a soft push. "I go high, Mommy! Watch me!"

"I see you," I say as a wave of nausea washes over me. "Four, I think you need to stop pushing me." I drag my feet along the ground and hurry toward the bathroom but by the time I get there the queasiness vanishes. I take advantage of an alone minute and freshen up. When I come out Tobias and Tyler are standing there, matching worry on their faces.

"Awe you otay, Mommy? You sick like Tess?" Tyler asks. I drop down to my knees and wrap my arms around him, longing to hold him.

"You are so sweet," I say, kissing his cheek. "I wasn't feeling very good for a minute but I'm fine now. I'm sorry that I worried you."

"Wowwy Daddy, too," he says. I kiss Tyler's cheek again then get to my feet.

"So I worried Daddy, too, huh?" I ask. "It was nothing. Peanut and I are fine. We just had a moment of nausea."

"You're pale, love," he says. "I think I should get you home."

"Me, too?" Tyler asks looking back and forth from Tobias to the playground equipment.

"You haven't had a nap yet and Avery is coming over to watch you and Tessa tonight," Tobias says. Avery texted me this morning saying it's alright with Stella and Zander that she watches the kids tonight but we decided to surprise Tyler with the information.

"Avey! Yeah! I miss hew," he says, clapping his hands together. "But I not sleepy." He says this with a wide yawn making Tobias and I laugh.

"I think I'll pack up the car while you say goodbye to everyone," Tobias says.

"No, we'll all say goodbye," I say. "Jeffrey and Laurel came to see you not me."

"Don't let those two fool you," he says with a chuckle. "They came to see Tyler and Tessa." I really can't argue with that. They've spent most of their time with them. He picks up Tyler who rests his head on his shoulder. "Not tired," Tobias softly scoffs, probably not aware that he spoke out loud.

"We're going to take off," I say. "The kids need a nap."

"And so does their mother," Tobias says, kissing my temple. "She's exhausted and not feeling 100%."

"Are you alright, Beatrice?" my mom asks, worry anew on her face.

"I got nauseous earlier but I'm feeling better now," I say.

"I wish you didn't have to leave so soon," Caleb says. He gives a nervous smile to Cara who nods her head. "I've been trying to find a way to say this all afternoon but it never seemed like the right time."

"We're engaged," Cara says. My eyes slide to her left hand where a solitaire diamond sits atop a white gold band. How did we not see that?

"Oh!" my mom squeals and wraps her arms around Caleb and Cara. "I'm so happy for the two of you." I wipe the tear out of my eye and hug Caleb tight.

"Congratulations, big brother," I say.

"Thanks, sis," he says. "I'm glad you took our announcement better than I took yours and Four's."

"That's water under the bridge, Caleb," I say. "I hope your marriage is as happy as mine is." I let him go and am pulled into an embrace by Cara.

"I know you haven't always liked me and maybe I'm making unfair assumptions right now that you do but I love your brother very much. He makes me a better person on every level," she says.

"We may not have seen eye to eye when we first met," I say.

"If I remember correctly, you threatened to rearrange my face," she says and I cringe.

"If I never apologized for that, I _am_ really sorry," I say. "I guess you could call me a little overprotective of those I love."

"I should apologize to you also," she says. "I was raised a certain way and until Caleb opened my eyes, I looked down on those who came from Abnegation. I was rude not only to your mom but to you, too."

"Like I just told Caleb, that's water under the bridge," I say. "I'm so happy for you both. Let us know when you have a date set, and if you need any help planning, please let me know. I'd be happy to do what I can. Do Will and Christina know?"

"Not yet," she sighs. "That was another reason why I wanted to see them but I'm going to call him this evening. We don't have a date set but we're leaning toward a Christmastime wedding. It's always been a dream of mine."

"Are you going to be at the Choosing Ceremony?" I ask.

"As a matter of fact I am," she says.

"So is Will," I say. "Maybe you can give him your news in person after all."

"Thank you so much, Tris," she says, hugging me once again. "I'm going to hold off until tomorrow." I look around for Tobias and the kids when Caleb and Cara turn their attention to my dad and find them saying goodbye to Jeffrey, Laurel, and Aaron.

"I'm glad that you all could make it," I say as I reach Tobias' side. "It's been a lovely day."

"We had a wonderful time also," Laurel says. "I'm so glad I got to hang around with my niece and nephew and you and Four, too. Can we do this again sometime?" I can see that Jeffrey wants to scold Laurel for appearing selfish but he hesitates and eagerly awaits Tobias' answer.

"I would love nothing more than to spend as much time as I can with both of you," Tobias says. "Once things have gotten back to normal after initiation is over, we'll make plans to meet at Andrew and Natalie's house. Okay?" Laurel grabs ahold of Tobias in a big hug, startling him for a second before he returns her embrace.

"I'm so glad we found you, Four," she says. He lets go of her and kneels down so that he's more on her level.

"You have no idea how happy I am that I found you," he says, emotion thick in his voice. "I lost sleep worrying if you were okay. It was hard knowing you were out in the city someplace and that I couldn't know anything about you, your faction, your name, if you were being well taken care of. I'm so thankful for your Mom and Dad who love you so much. Knowing that you are happy is one of the best gifts anyone has ever given me." When he finishes his speech, I wipe tears out of my eyes as does he and Laurel. After she hugs him again, he straightens up and looks at Jeffrey.

"Thank you for coming and bringing Laurel and Aaron with you. You're a great big brother," he says. "There's something you might not know, Evelyn told me about Laurel, Tyler, and Tessa but she never told me about you. I don't know why. I wanted to confront her about it but with the situation as it was, I didn't want to put Tessa into any unnecessary danger. I thought I would ask her about a lot of things after Tessa's birth but then … she died. I didn't learn about your existence until the day of Robert's interrogation. I was shocked to say the least but I'm thankful you've been there for Laurel. It makes me worry less about you two knowing you have each other and Aaron of course."

"We have you, Tyler, and Tessa now also," he says.

"Jeffy, we better get home," Laurel says. "It's a long walk."

"Let Cara and me take you home," Caleb says, graciously offering his help.

"We can't let you go out of your way," Jeffrey says.

"It's not out of our way," he says. "My fiancée and I are going to my parent's house to talk about the wedding. It's no trouble whatsoever."

"In that case, we accept your offer," Jeffrey says. "Thank you very much."

"Thanks, Caleb," Tobias says. We say our goodbyes to everyone then watch Caleb, Cara, Jeffrey, Laurel, and Aaron drive off, waving as they disappear. I buckle Tessa who is once again sleeping and Tyler into their car seats and help Tobias get everything situated in the trunk before we go.

"I wish we could take you home but we just don't have the room," I apologetically say to my parents.

"We already talked this over with Caleb and Cara," Mom says. "We're happy to take the bus. It was the least we could do so the Walsh children didn't have to walk home. They are lovely."

"Yeah they are," I say. "Well we have a sitter coming at 8 p.m., and the kids need naps and supper before then so we really need to get going."

"We had a wonderful time today," Mom says. "Your father and I are proud of the woman you've become. I can't believe how much all our lives have changed in one short year." We hug each other again then Tobias and I finally get in the car.

"Today was great but I can't wait to get home," I say. Everyone agrees with me.

"Bye," Tobias, Tyler, and I say as we drive away, waving.


	19. Chapter 19

Tobias pulls into our regular parking space in the Dauntless underground garage and turns the car off. I glance over my shoulder at the two peacefully sleeping innocent faces in the backseat. Tessa was already napping when I buckled her into her car seat, and she's yet to stir. Tyler, on the other hand, was out like a light before we exited the park even though he was constantly telling us he wasn't tired right up until the point he fell asleep.

"I'll get Tyler and you get Tessa then I'll come back and get the rest of the stuff," Tobias says.

"Why don't you move the car to the Pire so you don't have to walk as far," I say as he's getting ready to get out of the car. He thinks about my suggestion for a moment.

"We're already parked," he says. "I don't mind the walk but I'll move the car if you would like to shorten yours." I roll my eyes at him, and he grins.

"Come on," I say as I open my door. "Let's get the kids home." We manage to unbuckle Tyler and Tessa, take them out of their seats, carry them through the garage, up the steep path to the Pire, and to our apartment, then up to their rooms without waking them. I turn the baby monitor on and decide to take a nap myself or at the very least rest while the kids are down.

The smell of taco meat wafting through the apartment wakes me up, and I get out of bed. I first check Tyler's room but find it empty. He obviously is downstairs with Tobias while he's making supper. I walk into Tessa's room, and she looks like she just woke up as well. I change her diaper and put her into a short sleeved pink onesie that she can sleep in and put her romper in the hamper. I watch her carefully as I head for the kitchen, checking for signs that she's hungry but don't find any.

"Hi, Mommy," Tyler says when he sees us. "Daddy's making tacos." His grin is splitting his face in two. He _loves_ tacos. It's one of his favorite foods.

"I know," I say, kissing his head. "That's what woke me up." I put Tessa in her swing, set the timer, and walk into the kitchen to offer my assistance.

"You can kiss the cook," Tobias says, pointing to his mouth with the bamboo spoon he's holding when I ask what I can do. I go up on my tiptoes and gently press my lips to his. We move our mouths together gently until Tyler starts giggling. We look at him, and he's covering his face with his hands. I roll my eyes and start laughing at his innocence.

"How about I get the plates ready," I say. I take a step closer to Tobias, and he looks down at me. I lower my voice so we can't be overheard before I continue. "Let's show Tyler the new place after supper and see what he thinks."

"That's a great idea," he says. "We have plenty of time before Avery comes over. I'm looking forward to his reaction." I set up a little taco bar in the middle of the island and get plates out of the cupboard. "Hey, Tyler, come here. I'll get you in your seat." He comes running over, and Tobias lifts him into his booster seat. We have a wonderful dinner just the four of us. I like eating with our friends in the cafeteria but it's our home cooked meal nights that I absolutely cherish.

Tyler makes funny faces at Tessa causing her to laugh while Tobias and I clean up the kitchen after we finish our meal. I'm so stuffed that I feel like I'm moving backwards. Once everything is sparkling clean, Tobias and I sit down on the couch to rest up before heading across the hallway.

"Tyler, can you come here?" I ask as Tobias gets up to retrieve Tessa from her swing. He sits Tessa in my lap, and I check to see if she's hungry. She could probably wait a little while longer but since she's refusing bottles I need to make sure she's finished before we leave tonight. I get a receiving blanket out of the diaper bag and cover us up as she nurses.

"Mommy and Daddy have something we need to talk to you about," Tobias says after I have Tessa situated. "After thinking long and hard about it, we are moving to a new apartment." We don't say anything more. We just let the news sink in.

"Why?" he asks.

"With Teagan Grace coming soon, we need a larger place with more space," I say. "Would you like to see it? It isn't far."

"Not faw?" he repeats.

"It's down the hall," Tobias says. "Come on, let's go see it." Tobias got the key when we decided to make this little field trip so we head down the hall. He unlocks the door, and we let Tyler in first so he can explore. He walks around with wide eyes and his mouth ajar. We explain what each space will be used for as we tour each room.

"And this will be your bedroom," I say as Tobias leads us into the largest of the four children's rooms, which is almost twice as big as his room right now. He walks around much like we did the first time we saw the place, a look of awe on his face. "Maybe Mommy and Daddy will take you to the furniture store tomorrow night, and we can look around and get ideas on how you want your room decorated."

"I get to pick?" he asks.

"That's right," I say.

"Thank you, thank you," he says, hugging my legs tightly. Tobias has to put his hands on my shoulders to steady me.

"Careful, buddy," he says. Tyler holds his hands up to him, and his father picks him up. He whispers something in his ear and smiles. Tobias moves closer to me, and Tyler leans over and kisses my cheek.

"I love you, Mommy," he says. "I love you, Daddy. I can't wait!"

"There's another place Mommy and I think is pretty special. It's this way." Tobias leads us to the laundry room and the spiral staircase leading to the rooftop deck. Tyler's eyes nearly pop out of his head when he sees the third story.

"We're going to have to get a gate for each of the staircases once this one starts crawling," I say, nodding toward Tessa who is still nursing. We stand back and watch Tyler as he takes everything in. "Do you like it?"

"Yeah! It weally neat," he says. "What that?" He points at the covered hot tub.

"That is a hot tub. It's for Mommy and Daddy," Tobias says. "You must never touch the cover. I wouldn't want you to get hurt. Do you understand?" He nods as he tries to figure out exactly what he's looking at.

"Show him," I quietly say.

"Go stand by Mommy, and I'll show you what I mean." Tyler runs up to me and wraps his little arms around one of my legs. Tobias carefully unlatches the cover and takes it off then picks Tyler up so he can see over the edge. "If you or one of your sisters were to fall in there you could get seriously hurt or worse, we could lose you. That would make Mommy and Daddy very sad." I have a feeling a gate and fence of some sort will be added just for our peace of mind.

"We better get home so we don't miss Avery," I say.

"When we move?" Tyler asks as we head back inside.

"I'm going to have the new apartment cleaned from top to bottom and painted, then we'll move in," I say.

"Wow!" he says. "I cited!"

"I think we're all excited," Tobias says as he hoists Tyler onto his shoulders. He wants to see each room again just like Tobias and I did the first time we saw it so we quickly look into each room as we pass it by. He seems very impressed not only with his bedroom and private bathroom but the sun room and the fact that Tessa and Teagan will have their own rooms, too. Avery is standing in the hallway knocking on our door with a somewhat worried look on her face when we exit the apartment.

"Avey!" Tyler excitedly screams when he sees her. She whirls around, surprised to hear us coming from behind her. Tobias sets Tyler on his feet, and he runs full bore toward Avery who scoops him up into a big hug.

"I hope you weren't waiting long," I say, as I check on Tessa who seems to be nearing the end of her feeding. "We were showing Tyler our new apartment."

"I get my own woom, Avey," he says to her. "I get to deco … deco."

"Decorate," I say, helping him along with the unfamiliar word.

"Yeah, decowate my woom," he says. "I cited."

"I can tell you're excited," she says, stepping out of the way to let Tobias open the door.

"If you'll excuse me, Tessa's about finished nursing," I say heading toward the stairs. "We'll be back down soon." As I'm walking up the stairs, I hear Tyler ask Avery if they can watch _Cars_ and I chuckle. I shut Tessa's door behind us and turn on the lamp next to the rocking chair, which bathes the room with a soft white glow. I sit down and within a couple minutes, Tessa pulls away from my chest. She burps after only a couple pats then I change her diaper. "You have a good time with Avery tonight, little one. It might be the last time you see her. I hope that's not the case though." When she's well fed, in a clean, dry diaper, and ready for bed, I head back downstairs.

"I'll take her, Tris," Avery says as I start to put Tessa in her swing.

"Okay, here you go," I say and place a content Tessa on her lap. "She has double ear infection and can be happy and smiling one minute and very cranky the next. She just ate, I put a fresh diaper on her, and she's in her PJs. When she falls asleep, put her in her crib. As for Tyler, we'll treat this as a special occasion. I'd like him in bed after the movie is over. There's popcorn in the cupboard and juice in the fridge. Call Four's phone if you need us for anything. We'll see you at 11:00." We'll talk to her then about her choice tomorrow.

"Thanks for letting me watch them tonight," she says. "Now go and have a couple hours to yourself."

"Thanks, Avery," I say. I kiss Tessa's head, and she gives me a big coo then Tyler stands on the couch so I can give him a big hug and kiss. "You both be good for Avery. Mommy loves you." I watch Tobias say his goodbyes then he leads me into the hallway. "Where are we going?"

"I have an idea," he says.

"Lead the way, Mr. Eaton," I say. We slowly wander by our offices, out to the path that leads us anywhere we want to go in Dauntless. I look over the edge at the bustling Pit floor below and remember the awe of first seeing it one year ago tomorrow. I glance up at Tobias, and he's looking down at me with a very relaxed smile on his face. "You smile a lot more than you did when I first met you."

"You make me happy, which keeps this smile on my face," he says. "I wasn't happy before you. I didn't know I could be happy. I thought I didn't deserve it." I wrap my arms around the arm of the hand I was just holding and hug him tightly, then rest my head against his upper arm as we continue our way along the path.

"Where are we going?" I ask when we reach the Pit floor but are traveling away from the chasm.

"I'm taking you to the place we first met," he says. He's taking me to the net. I kiss his cheek as we continue walking. Soon I find myself in front of the double doors, which I've only used twice in the past year. He takes out a key and unlocks the doors so we can enter into the dimly lit tunnel. I once again remember the panicky feeling I felt the first time I took this journey. I feared losing myself to the darkness ... that it would somehow swallow me whole but every time I stepped into the dim light, I once again felt safe. I was so timid and meek then. Now the darkness doesn't bother me at all. "What are you thinking about?"

"I was just remembering the first time I walked this hallway and how far I've come," I say.

"We've both come a long way since that day," he says. The darkness of the tunnel gives way to the light of the evening sun pouring through the massive hole in the ceiling. He leads me the remaining way up the tunnel to the platform that stands a good 10 feet above. "After you." He steps aside and motions with his arm to go up the stairs.

"Why thank you, sir," I say. I slowly ascend the stairs to find a romantic scene before me. On the platform under the taut net is a red blanket scattered with extra-large throw pillows surrounded by dozens of lit candles dripping wax onto the platform. A bucket of chilled sparkling cider and two champagne flutes sit next to a tray of gourmet cheese, crackers, and red, white, and black grapes. A sprinkling of red rose petals brings everything together.

"How?" I ask, emotion threatening to choke me.

"I have my resources," he says, wiping my happy tears away. "I know it's one day early but happy anniversary, Tris." I go up on my tiptoes and wrap my arms around his neck.

"I love you so much, Tobias," I say. "Who would have thought that when you helped me out of that net it would lead to all this." I draw his lips to mine and kiss him passionately, thoroughly exploring his mouth with my eager tongue. When we break away from each other breathless, he drags me down onto the blanket.

"I wanted to do something special for us and when Avery offered to babysit, I knew what I had to do," he says. We lounge on the pillows talking about our wonderful life, kissing often as the setting sun fades into billions of stars shining brightly above us. We drink glasses of sweet, bubbly cider and take turns feeding each other grapes, cheese, and crackers.

"I have something for you," he says. I sit up and watch as he reaches behind the ice bucket.

"What's this?" I ask as he hands me a familiar-looking small black wooden box.

"Open it and find out," he says, adoration lighting his eyes. I flip the lid on the box to find a narrow black leather bracelet with platinum beads that set off the platinum infinity symbol being held in place with leather stitching. On the magnetic closure is an engraved IV and VI with the two Vs intertwined, looking almost like a W but not quite.

"Oh, Tobias, it's beautiful," I say. "But we said we we're going to get each other anything."

"I couldn't resist," he says.

"But I don't have anything for you," I say.

"You know that I don't need anything other than you," he says. I shake my head at him. "Are we going to argue?"

"No, we're going to make out," I say, admiring my new bracelet as he puts it on my right wrist. I lie back onto the pillows and pull him down on top of me making sure my belly isn't in the way. Our mouths move together as one for a few minutes before I whisper, "Thank you for my gift. I love it," without taking my lips off of his.

"I'm glad you like it," he says. "When I saw it I thought of you." He leans back, propped up on one elbow looking down into my eyes while his other hand gently caresses my belly.

"Maybe we should call it an early evening and go home so we can talk to Avery," I say. He furrows his brows at me, not following the direction my thoughts are taking me. "It's our anniversary, Tobias Eaton. I can't wait to take you to bed." His grin unfurls into a breathtaking smile right before his lips land on mine. The kiss is need filled, passionate, and loving. I lift my hands and twist them in his hair, pulling him as close to me as our bodies will allow.

"How about I make love to you right here," he says. My eyes widen at the thought. "We're alone. The tunnel door is locked." Yeah, I remember him quickly testing it before he led me up into the darkness. "There isn't a camera around." He sees the acceptance of his proposal in my eyes, and we lunge at each other, removing each other's shirts. I reach behind me and unhook my bra, and he peels it down my arms placing soft kisses on each heaving mound. I feel his hands worshipping my aching body and realize just how much I want this. He unbuttons my shorts and lowers the zipper while he scatters kisses over my neck, jaw, and exposed chest. I help him remove my shorts and panties leaving me naked then move my hands to his zipper. I slowly lower it, raking my nails over his denim-clad erection. I gasp when I feel two fingers ease their way into my moist center. I rest my head against his bare chest, panting as he thrusts in and out of me. After I regain my senses, I lower his jeans and boxer briefs over his hips, freeing his massive manhood and down and off his body.

"I need you inside me now," I pant. "I want to feel you." He removes his fingers from my depths and lies me back on some pillows, making sure I'm comfortable. He sits back on his heels between my spread legs and grips my hips and pulls me toward him. He lifts me a little higher and puts two more pillows under my backside then positions himself at my entrance. I groan as he pulls me closer to him as he pushes into me.

"Are you okay?" he asks, his voice need-filled and husky. "Are you comfortable? Is your back okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I say, loving how much he cares for me. "I love that I can look into your eyes. You know how much that means."

"I love you, Mrs. Eaton," he says as he starts moving inside me. My hands are resting on his thighs, feeling his contracting muscles beneath my fingertips as he picks up the pace with each powerful thrust. He surprises me by moving both my legs up onto his shoulders and pulling me closer to him still. I call out at the deeper penetration and he stalls.

"No, please don't stop. _Please_ ," I murmur and he resumes his movements. "Oh, God this feels good." I moan as he grunts with each of his vigorous thrusts. I grasp the pillows on either side of my body and twist them until I think I'll see feathers flying around as I explode into a million pieces around his hammering shaft. My release triggers his, and he throws his head back with my name on his lips and shudders violently, pouring himself into me. We stay frozen, statue-like, as we wait for our heartbeats to normalize and our breathing to slow. He carefully puts my legs down on either side of his hips and pulls out of me then draws me up into his lap. He kisses my hair and then my temple before finally finding my lips. Both of his hands travel down my back until they are massaging the spot that just started to ache.

"How did you know that it's hurting?" I ask. Something close to panic flashes over his face. "My back just started aching, and you're massaging right where it's sore."

"Oh," he says, calming a bit. "I really didn't even realize what I was doing. I just like touching you."

"I like when you touch me," I say then groan.

"What is it, love?" he asks.

"I'm never going to look at this platform the same way ever again." He chuckles at my honesty.

"Yeah, I'm going to have a hard time concentrating tomorrow," he says. "I'm going to be staring at this spot where I had you naked and writhing."

"Naked and writhing, huh?"

"Oh, yes, Mrs. Eaton. Naked, wanton, writhing, sexy as hell. Although this wasn't on my list, I loved every minute of it. But you should know that one day I'm going to make love to you up there." He points above us and my mind goes to the gravel-topped roof thinking that wouldn't be very comfortable before catching his meaning.

"The net?" I ask.

"Yes, the net," he says. "I'd have had you there tonight if I could have figured out how to safely get you up there."

"That's on your list, I take it?" I ask.

"Yeah," he says with a grin.

"Tell me, what places are on your list?" I ask.

"Okay. The chasm, the train, in our car, at the carousel, in my office, in the Amity apple orchard, and here in the net. I'm sure the list will grow and change as time goes by. What about you, Tris."

"Well, a couple of places are the same," I say. "I also have the chasm and the train but I also have an elevator, in our car in a parking garage somewhere."

"One far away from your mom," he says interrupting me. We both shudder at the thought of mom catching us actually having sex.

"Yeah. Far away from Mom," I say laughing. "There's also Erudite and Abnegation, which I can't believe I'm saying but we've made love here in Dauntless, _obviously_. And you know I'm quite partial to Candor bathrooms, and I love both the lighthouse and our little farm in Amity. So basically, three down and two to go. And like you, my list grows and changes. When Zeke caught us and then you mentioned the lists, I wanted to do away with them but this was wonderful."

"It was but we should get dressed and head home," he says. "We can always have round number two after we go to bed." I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him slowly.

"You gave me a wonderful, loving anniversary tonight, Tobias," I say. "I'm a very lucky girl. I married my best friend who just happens to be the most romantic yet slightly scary man in Dauntless if not the entire city."

"I'm losing it if I'm only coming across as slightly scary," he says with a chuckle. "I should practice before tomorrow." He puts on his serious, you-just-pissed-me-off Four look and stares at me. I look at him for a moment before I laugh. He narrows his eyes at me, and I laugh harder.

"I was just thinking that if I took "Four" to bed it would be like sleeping with two different guys."

"And that's funny?" he says, trying to maintain the rigid persona of Tobias' alter ego.

"Not really," I say, ceasing all laughter. I stare into his eyes while I caress his face. "I prefer Tobias but if I'm being completely honest, I fell in love with Four." His face smoothes over and a small, shy smile turns up his lips.

"I'm glad that you fell in love with him," he says. "It made it that much easier to show you the real me. I worked hard at not letting people in but you broke through that barrier. I couldn't help but fall in love with you."

"You better stop with all the romantic mushiness or I'm going to take you again right here, and if I'm not mistaken, you were the one who said we need to get home." We release each and start getting dressed.

"Hey one last thing, Tris," he says, his severe tone making me turn to look at him. When he catches my gaze, his serious eyes bore into mine. "If you ever want to take Four to bed, I'm sure he'll rock your world." I can't help but smile and roll my eyes at him.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Bold quote directly taken from the book Four.**

* * *

Tobias and I pack up the red blanket, numerous pillows, and ice bucket after disposing of the food trays, candles, scraped up wax, and rose petals. No one will ever know we were up here tonight, except for the two of us. We leisurely make our way down the dark tunnel to the Pit floor, which is unusually empty tonight. This must be what it looks like the night before the Choosing Ceremony. I'm used to the hustle and bustle of a rowdy crowd. Right now it's kind of depressing. We walk up the path side-by-side, each carrying a bag of supplies talking about what the past year has brought us. It's a nice conversation covering love, loss, joy, heartache, and so much more.

When we walk into the apartment, we find Avery sitting on the couch staring straight ahead, silent tears streaming down her pensive face. I secretly worried about finding her like this on our way home. She's so caught up in what's on her mind that she doesn't realize we've come home.

"Avery, we're home," I say as I put my bags down next to Tobias' by the door. She jumps to her feet, frantically wiping her tears away.

"Hi, guys," she says, a fake smile plastered on her face. "Tyler and Tessa are both upstairs asleep. They were perfect little angels like always. Tyler changed into his racecar PJs before I started _Cars_. I wonder if he'll ever get tired of that movie. He fell asleep before it ended so when I was 100% sure he was out, I carried him upstairs and put him to bed. Tessa was good all night but right before she fell asleep she got a little cranky but she didn't act like she didn't feel well, just like she was fighting sleep. Thanks again for letting me watch them. I'll go ahead and take off now."

"Actually, Tris and I would like to talk to you about something," Tobias says. I can tell this peaks her interest. Tobias speaks to her once in a while but it's me who mainly communicates with her about the kids. "Please sit back down." She slowly returns to her place on the couch, somewhat confused, and he sits next to her while I sit down on the love seat facing them. "Your parents stopped by yesterday afternoon. They were very upset." Her face falls at the mention of her mom and dad.

"They're worried about you, Avery and, by the way we just found you, rightfully so," I say.

"Zander and Stella asked us to talk to you," Tobias says. "The first thing I'm going to say is I don't want to influence your choice tomorrow. This isn't what this conversation is about. I want you to weigh what your aptitude test told you against what your heart is telling you and leave any unnecessary fear you're feeling out of it. We don't need you to give us any particulars of how today went, we just want you to listen." He gets up off the couch and starts pacing back and forth in front of the entertainment center like he does when he's anxious or upset so I take his place next to Avery.

"What did my mom and dad tell you?" she asks, her voice nervous and her eyes wide.

"They told us that they suspect you're Divergent," I softly say after a short pause. No one ever wants to talk about this difficult subject. It's never known how it will be received. I put my arm around Avery's shoulders and feel the tension rolling off of her in waves. "They told us they had a conversation with you, wanting to prepare you for what might happen during your aptitude test. They're rightfully concerned _if_ you're Divergent. I wish someone would have had that conversation with me. I never even heard the word until Tori said it when my test results were … not as expected." Her head whips around, and she stares open mouthed at me.

"My father coached me," Tobias says, gaining Avery's undivided attention and mine. He's never told me about this. "He wanted to make sure I would get an Abnegation result on the test. He told me I might be aware during the simulation and that someone would question me about it, which I was and they did. He told me to pick the food over the weapon and to throw myself in front of the dog to sacrifice myself for the little girl. He made sure my test wasn't inconclusive." How did I not know any of this? I wonder what faction or _factions_ he would have gotten if his father hadn't intervened. He meets my eyes with an apologetic gaze and mouths, "sorry." I give him a smile back.

"You're," she stops, takes a deep breath, and shakes her head. "You're both Divergent, and you _chose_ Dauntless over staying in Abnegation?" she whispers, dumbfounded. "But it's not safe here."

"Avery, the truth is Divergents aren't 100% safe anywhere," Tobias says. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this to frighten you. I'm just being honest. If a Divergent is going to be discovered it can happen in Abnegation or Amity just as easily as it can happen in Dauntless, Erudite, or Candor.

"If you choose to leave us, we wish you well in your life but if you choose to stay, Tris and I can help guide you through the initiation process so you aren't discovered. I did it with three individuals two years ago and two this past year, including Tris, of course. My mentor, Amar, helped me to not be detected. There is always danger but there are always people willing to help."

"Four and Tori both helped me," I say. "I thought I was on the verge of being found out but they both gave me some great advice and tools to keep myself hidden."

"How do I choose?" she says. "Choosing where to live my life is a difficult task in itself but to have the burden of divergence suddenly thrust upon me." She buries her head in her hands and shakes her head again. "I don't want to let fear dictate my choice but I'm scared."

"Tori administered my aptitude test. She gave me the best advice that day sensing I wasn't happy with my results," Tobias says. "She didn't mean it in the context I'm giving it to you but this is what she told me. ' **You're the one who has to live with your choice. Everyone else will get over it, move on, no matter what you decide. But** ** _you_** **never will**.' Her words are absolutely true and they've stayed with me. I can't tell you what to do, and technically we shouldn't even be having this conversation but if you follow what your heart tells you to do, you will have a wonderful life."

"I wish that Four and I could tell you what to do, to help take the pressure off but you are the only one who knows what's best for you. We both know from experience that the choice is scary, especially with divergence thrown into the mix but it doesn't have to mean the end of your life as you pictured it."

"I hope we alleviated some of the fear you've been feeling and didn't add to it," Tobias says. I feel as all the tension leaves her body, and she wilts into my side.

"Thank you so much, Tris, Four, for talking to me," she says. "You're really good friends and not only to my parents but to me, too. I should get home and go to bed. We all have a big day ahead of us tomorrow." She turns and gives me a big hug then gets up off the couch to give Tobias a quick one. She abruptly lets him go and heads to the door. She pauses with her hand on the doorknob. When she turns back toward us, the look on her face is more peaceful than I've seen it the past couple of days. "Thanks again, you guys. You've helped a great deal. Bye."

"Goodbye, Avery," Tobias says as I say, "Bye, Av." She smiles a brilliant smile then walks out our door for what might be the last time.

"I sure hope we see her tomorrow," I say.

"Me, too," he says.

"Why didn't I know Marcus coached you on what to do at your aptitude test?" I ask.

"I guess it never came up," he says. "You're not upset with me are you?"

"No, of course I'm not mad," I say after thinking about it for a minute. "I realize that we still don't know everything about each other. I can't hold that against you any more than you could hold it against me. I look forward to millions of conversations getting to know you better. We could have one right now. I'll tell you everything leading up to my Choosing Ceremony if you tell me about yours."

"Okay," he says. We lounge on the couch in each other's arms, and I listen to him tell me everything about his choosing process. We've talked a bit about it in the past but never in this much detail. He tells me more about how Marcus gave him all the information needed to not be detected as Divergent, although he doesn't think it was done out of concern for him. He thinks Marcus did it for his own unknown selfish reasons. His theory is it would have reflected badly on Marcus if anyone knew his son was Divergent. My thought is that he was worried about his own divergence being exposed but either way it was all about Marcus. He tells me that his father found him in his room after he had been looking at keepsakes he kept in a chest his mother gave him and beat him severely then destroyed everything including the chest. He tells me about the blue glass sculpture his mother gave him that survived his father's rampage and how he left it on his desk as a small defiance. He's spoken of it before and once again I wonder if it's still on his desk. He tells me how he didn't think he was going to be strong enough to resist the pull of Abnegation but the urge to get away from Marcus was stronger. He tells me how as Max was going through the usual spiel of our city's birth that he pictured how each faction made him feel, deciding which to choose. He thought Erudite would suffocate him. He didn't think he could live through Candor's initiation. He thought Amity was too perfect and too kind to be tainted by the rage and fear that drove him to another faction. Abnegation was out of the question because that's where Marcus was. That left Dauntless as his safe haven and even today as he talks about wanting his choice to hurt his father his face twists with rage and determination. "When I dripped my blood onto the hot coals, I knew I was finally free from him. I smirked a little when I saw how stunned he was that I went against his plan." After we've been quiet for a while, he asks, "What about you, love. Tell me what was going through your mind one year ago."

I tell him how confused I felt when Tori explained how I did on my aptitude test, ruling myself in and out of multiple factions. I tell him that being told I was Divergent didn't scare me at first, I just longed for someone to really tell me _exactly_ what it meant and why it was considered dangerous. I tell him about my dinner conversation that evening with my parents: Marcus and the Erudite reports that, at the time, we didn't know were true. I tell him that I actually thought of him briefly when Marcus' name was first brought up but I unfortunately didn't have any memories of meeting him. I tell him although Caleb and I didn't break the rules and talk about our results, that he gave me some advice. "He told me that I should think about the family but that I needed to think about myself, too," I say. "It startled me … a lot. Up until that moment, I'd never witnessed my perfect Abnegation brother being anything other than selfless. Boy was I wrong." I tell him that I didn't consider my choice to be between two different factions but to be more between two separate people, two separate selves: Selfless Beatrice and courageous Beatrice. I confess that much like he did when Max was talking, I reconsidered each of the factions while Marcus was giving his speech. I easily took it down to Abnegation and Dauntless. "My choice was transformed when Caleb chose Erudite. In those couple minutes between my name being called and dropping my blood in one of the bowls, I no longer felt like I was choosing for me alone. I felt like I was choosing for my mom, my dad, Caleb, and even for Abnegation. They almost won even though I didn't feel selfless enough to last a lifetime in Abnegation but at the last second what _I_ wanted crossed my mind and hearing my blood sizzle on those coals is when I realized I'd made my choice. It made me feel free for the first time in my life."

"We both felt free but for entirely different reasons," he says, a look of wonder on his face. "I'm glad we did this but I think we need to get to bed. Avery was right earlier. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

"I need to check on Tessa," I say, getting off the couch. "I don't hear her but she'll be wanting fed pretty soon."

"I'll clean up the kitchen and see you upstairs," he says.

"Okay," I say. "I'll see you soon." I turn to walk away from him but he grabs ahold of my wrist and gently pulls me to him. He cups my cheek with one hand while the other moves to my back and lowers his mouth to mine. He tenderly kisses me until we both find ourselves in desperate need of oxygen.

"It's after midnight," he breathlessly says. "Happy anniversary of the day we met, Mrs. Eaton. I'm thankful every day that you jumped into my life."

"And I'm thankful I took the leap," I say. As I put my arms around his neck and pull his mouth back to mine, I hear whimpering coming through the baby monitor. I sigh against his parted lips. "I told you she would be hungry soon." I reluctantly release him after a quick peck and head up the stairs and into Tessa's room. She's lying on her tummy near the edge of the crib with her fingers in her mouth making little mewling sounds. "Are you hungry little one?" She rolls over on her back and looks up at me but she doesn't smile. "You still don't feel well, do you?" I pick her up and change her diaper before I sit down in the rocking chair. I gently stroke her head and face as she nurses hoping that tomorrow, or should I say today, is better for her. She doesn't eat as much as she's been eating lately, which tells me that she'll be up early. I put another fresh diaper on her and rock her to sleep. After I'm sure moving her won't wake her, I put her back in her crib. Before I go to bed, I decide to check on Tyler after I use the bathroom. I sit on the edge of his toddler bed and stare down at him for a few minutes.

"What are you doing?" Tobias whispers from the doorway. "I was wondering where you were." I kiss Tyler's head and tuck his covers snuggly up against him.

"Goodnight, buddy," I whisper then I turn his nightlight on. I meet Tobias in the hallway, and he takes me into his arms. "I love watching him sleep. I hope I didn't worry you."

"No, you didn't," he says. "Come on. Let's go to bed." He leads me into our room after a slow, long, tender kiss. He starts to get in bed but I shake my head.

"I have something for you, Tobias," I say. I retrieve the package from my top dresser drawer and hide it behind my back as I approach him. "I was going to wait and give this to you in the morning but since you gave me such a nice gift earlier I thought I'd reciprocate. Hold your hands out in front of you and close your eyes." I take my hands from behind my back and place the small black wooden box in his outstretched palms. "Okay, you can open them." I watch as he opens his eyes and focus on his gift. His head jerks up and he looks at me when he recognizes the gift box.

"It can't be," he says, astonished.

"Open it and find out," I say with a huge smile on my face. He flips the hinged lid on the little black box and starts laughing. Inside is a matching bracelet to the one he gave me earlier tonight right down to the exact same engravings on the closure. The only difference is his is a wider cuff, making it look manly next to mine. "Great minds think alike!"

"Yes, they do, Mrs. Eaton," he says with a chuckle. His eyes darkens as they take in me putting his cuff on his right wrist. "Thank you, Tris. This is amazing." I hold my arm up against his and admire our matching anniversary gifts.

"You're welcome, and thank you again for mine," I say. "I know you offered round two earlier but do you mind if we go to sleep? Your wife and daughter are absolutely exhausted." He wraps his arms around me, kissing my head then runs his hands down to my bump.

"Of course, I don't mind," he says. "I'm tired, too." He turns the light off as I slide between the sheets. He then gets into bed and pulls me close to him. We quickly fall asleep after a long, eventful weekend.


	21. Chapter 21

Tessa has me up at 3 a.m. and 6 a.m. sharp wanting to eat. She doesn't seem cranky, just not quite her content self. I hope this isn't an indication of what my day is going to be like, feeding her every three hours. I'll have to miss some of the initiate jumps or giving the transfers the tour. I imagine if I talk to Tobias, I could bow out of today but the truth is I don't want to. I've been looking forward to this day since I chose to stand beside Four and train the transfers, and this year it's with Dauntless' old rules in play. There will be no cuts unless an initiate displays the kind of behavior we're trying to eliminate in Dauntless as a whole. If we'd have been in charge last year, Peter and Drew would have been factionless and Edward and Myra would be Dauntless members now. All fights will be monitored closely for unnecessary brutality, and initiates can concede if and when they see fit. Teamwork will be a part of the training. Capture the flag will be used as a larger part of the first stage rankings, and this year we're adding another team building exercise, basic elimination paintball, to the mix. Tobias and I got together with all our friends a couple weeks ago at a park near the Pier and had an excellent time. It was very messy but really fun.

I pamper myself this morning with a long, leisurely, hot shower instead of one of my trademark two minute ones. It feels nice to take my time and not rush through the process. When I finish, I carefully dry and then style each strand of hair until it's laying perfectly against my head. With my towel wrapped tightly around my naked body, I head into my bedroom. I put on a black lace nursing bra and matching black lace maternity boy shorts then open my closet and start sorting through the numerous items trying to decide on what I want to wear. I finally pick out a simple pair of black acid wash boot cut maternity jeans, a form fitting black maternity/nursing tank top with a sheer overlay that has a high boat neck, and a pair of black ankle boots with a 2-inch heel.

I stand in front of full length mirror taking in my appearance. There's so much going through my mind right now. Am I tough enough? Do I have what it takes? Will they respect me? Can I make a difference? Should I be doing this? As the hopeless feelings start to envelope and overwhelm me, I notice Tobias casually leaning up against the doorjamb staring at me.

"Hi," I say, meeting his blue eyes in the mirror.

"Hello, beautiful," he says. "Whatcha doing?"

"I was thinking about maybe getting some streaks in my hair, blue or purple perhaps," I say playing with the fringe, which is sexily hanging over my left eye. "I want to look as tough, as _Dauntless,_ as I can for the initiates. Christina has some washable chalk so they wouldn't be permanent."

"You look tough as nails, Tris," he says, his expression deadly serious.

"Yeah, me and my big belly," I grumble under my breath but I can tell he hears me by the look on his face. He saunters over to me, and I have the sudden urge to rip his clothes off and take him right here on the bedroom floor in front of my closet. He puts both hands on my pregnant belly and leans down and kisses it.

"I love this belly," he whispers, his voice full of reverent wonder. "That's our little peanut in there." He kisses it again, and I leisurely run my fingers through his hair.

"That's not a very _Four_ thing to say," I mutter with a smirk and a deep chuckle escapes from the back of his throat. He straightens up and pulls me into his embrace. His mouth finds mine, and his kiss is searching, sizzling. When he pulls away, I'm breathless and in a daze.

"I doubt you were just contemplating your hairstyle," he roughly says. "Tell me what's on your mind."

"I'm nervous about today," I finally say after a silent moment. "I'm not sure I have it in me to be tough like you. I've tried numerous times in the past but no one took me seriously. I'm afraid the initiates will walk all over me." He takes my hand and leads me to the bed where we sit down.

"Do you remember when Uriah and Peter were face to face in the Pit, and they wouldn't listen to me but they listened to you?" he asks. I nod. "There have been other times I've seen you handle guys twice your size with just a stern look or a quiet reprimand."

"Yeah, I remember," I say, my brows furrowed with confusion.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is don't act like me. Just be yourself, and you'll do fine," he says. "I learned early on that I didn't have what it took to be the kind of leader Amar was. I didn't have his natural charm so I knew that if I wanted the initiates to take me seriously I needed to be tough on them from the very beginning. That's how the Four persona was born. Before that I was backward, shy, and to be honest a little standoffish but I was only protecting my secret. I learned that for me it was easier to have people fear me than open up.

"You're different though, Tris," he says. "You have a way about you that, to tell you the truth, reminds me of Amar. He was personable, friendly, and knew how to put you in your place with little as a glance. Those are the qualities I fell in love with in you. You are the perfect person to be my partner … in all things. So please try not to stress about the initiates. I'll be bad cop and you can be good cop, okay?" I giggle at his reference but I nod in agreement. "Let's go have some breakfast with our friends after we get your blood pressure checked." Ugh. I bet it's high today. Then another thought crosses my mind, and I hesitate when he tries to lead out of the room. "What's wrong?"

"We haven't seen our friends, except Will since the Candor or Dauntless party," I say. "There's going to be questions, if not from the entire table at the very least Christina, and she can be relentless."

"I'll shut everyone down with my scary Four look," he says, making a face that's not so scary, which makes me laugh. "See, it comes in handy once in a while."

"Alright," I say. Tobias gets Tyler ready while I tend to Tessa. Within 45 minutes, we are sitting at our regular table in the cafeteria after a quick trip to the infirmary. Thankfully my blood pressure wasn't any higher than it's been the past couple weeks.

"Hey, guys," Marlene says. "How's Tessa feeling?" She's sleeping in the stroller by Tobias.

"She always seems to feel better after taking the antibiotic," I say. "She had her last dose at around 6 a.m. and has been all smiles this morning. She can be cranky though."

"Double ear infection, right?" Uriah asks. "How did that happen?"

"Apparently, she had a minor cold at the beginning of last week, which settled in her ears," Tobias says. "According to Dr. Wilson and Zander they're unfortunately common."

"Well, well," Zeke says with a grin on his face. "I'm surprised to see you guys this morning."

"If you start in on them again, Zeke," Shauna says with her hands on her hips, "I'll make good on my threat." His mouth flies open as he stares at her.

"You wouldn't dare," he quietly says.

"Go ahead and try me," she simply says. "Oh, and apologize." If anyone wonders who wears the pants in this relationship, they're blind. It's Shauna all the way.

"I'm sorry Four, Tris," he looks at each of us as he says our names, "for all the teasing, jokes, and inappropriate questions Saturday night. It was wrong of me." I bite my lip to keep from smiling. He sounds like he's reading straight from a script and doesn't mean one thing he's saying.

"Tell me how you _really_ feel," Tobias says, teasing his friend. Zeke smirks but Shauna frowns. "Sorry, Shauna. Tris and I accept your apology but only if you promise never to bring it up again." Zeke tries really hard not to lose it, and I roll my eyes. So juvenile.

"What are you, 12 years old, Ezekiel?" Shauna asks. "That wasn't even a good pun."

"Fine," he says getting to his feet and putting his hand over his heart, drawing the attention of neighboring tables. "I promise to never bring it up again."

"Thank you," I say. By this time the entire table is full except for Will and Christina. Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll escape her interrogation.

"Hi," Christina says from over my right shoulder. No such luck.

"Hi, guys," I say as they slide in beside me. I see that Will's attention is on Liam but Christina is focused on me.

"We need to talk," she says, leaning in so only I can hear. "Ferris wheel, seriously!" Leave it to her to not let it go.

"I was actually going ask you to put some blue or purple streaks in my hair with that chalk you talked about," I say. "We'll talk then, okay?"

"Okay," she says, appeased for the moment. I swear all I have to do is promise to talk about embarrassing things to tame the lion.

"The Candor or Dauntless party was awesome," Kirsten says. "We had such a good time. Did you have a good time, James?"

"If you're expecting me to bark, you're out of luck. I wasn't dared to do it for life," he says and the table erupts in laughter. No one else speaks of Tobias' and my admission of having sex on the Ferris wheel or why Zeke was relentless in his questions for Tobias. Hopefully, the nightmare in the fear landscape room is behind us but then I glance at Christina and realize that it isn't over yet.

"Christina, Tris, are you as nervous about training the initiates as Uriah is?" Marlene asks.

"Hey! That was private," he says, wounded that she shared a confidence.

"Don't be a baby, Uriah," she says. "It's perfectly natural to be nervous about doing something new. Just promise me one thing, don't fall in love with one of the new _tarts_ you have to instruct."

"Tarts?" he asks. "What's gotten into you today, Marlene? As you know, I'll be training the _Dauntless-born_ , and I've known those girls _forever_. You have nothing to worry about. There's only you."

"I'm excited about putting the fear of God into them like Four did to me last year," Christina says.

"Yeah, good times!" Tobias says with a chuckle. Christina rolls her eyes at him and I giggle.

"If I remember correctly you thought Four was a jerk, Christina," I say. She scowls at me. "Do you want the Dauntless-born to feel that way about you?"

"I'm not a jerk," Tobias pouts, which is totally out of character. I turn and look at him, brows raised. "Sorry to interrupt your question but did you agree with her?"

"You were easygoing and dare I say _nice_ when you helped me out of the net but the moment you spoke to Christina that way, I thought I needed to be cautious," I say.

"I didn't mean I _thought_ he was a jerk just that he was _being_ a jerk," she clarifies.

"Is there a difference?" Lynn scoffs.

"Yes!" Christina says, rolling her eyes. "As for your question, Tris, yes I'd like the initiates to fear me."

"I just want to get through without making a fool of myself," I say, "but Four gave me some excellent advice this morning, and I plan on taking it."

"What advice?" Ciara asks as she pushes her nearly full plate away. I imagine morning sickness has something to do with that.

"He told me to be myself," I say.

"I think that's wonderful advice," Ella says. "You have the perfect blend of ferocity and amiability that makes you the perfect leader. It's one of the reasons we all love you." Tessa starts crying so I get up and get her out of the stroller. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Tyler crawl under the table to Uriah where he gets a bite of thick frosted chocolate cake. I pull out a blanket and cover Tessa so that I can feed her.

"By the way, Uriah, I know what you're doing," I say never taking my eyes off of Tessa. It only takes mild coaxing to get her to latch on and nurse. I smooth the blanket over us then look up at the idiot who is feeding my 2 year old chocolate cake at 9 in the morning. I should remember this feeling when I have to deal with a problem initiate because he visibly flinches away from me.

"Tyler Aaron, no cake for breakfast," Tobias says and Tyler frowns. "Come here." He slips off the bench and slowly walks around the table, head hanging low. Tobias picks him up and sits him between us.

"I'm sorry I got you in trouble, buddy," Uriah says. "I shouldn't have given you cake."

"Maybe I'll have a talk with the chefs and have them quit the morning cake," I say.

"I'll never give him cake ever again," Uriah whines. "Please don't take my cake away." Everyone starts laughing heartily.

"You'll have no problems whatsoever with the transfers," Will says. After I finish feeding Tessa, Christina and I decide to take the kids to her apartment for the morning.

"Christina and I are leaving now," I say to Tobias. "Would you like to walk with us?"

"Tori, Harrison, Will, and I are going to have a meeting here in a few minutes," he says. "I'll meet you here at noon. We'll take the kids to daycare then head to the net to wait for the jumpers."

"Okay," I say. "I'll see you later." I go up on my tiptoes and wrap my arms around his neck. I draw his mouth to mine for a lingering kiss then move my mouth to his ear. "Happy anniversary, Mr. Eaton. I love you."

"I love you, too, Mrs. Eaton," he whispers against my lips. "Happy anniversary."

"Come on, Tris," Christina says somewhat exasperated. "We don't have all day. Bye, Will. Say bye to Daddy, Liam." Will gives Christina a quick kiss and then kisses Liam's head.

"See you guys at lunch," he says. "Love you. Bye, Tris."

"Bye, Will," I say. I suddenly grab him and Christina up in a big hug, and they look at me like I quite possibly lost my mind. "I met you two one year ago today also. It's all our anniversaries, not just mine and Four." I don't know how I could have forgotten that. Maybe I'm more selfish than I thought.

"We'll celebrate later," Christina says. "Right now I need some girl talk."

"Bye, guys," I say to Tobias and Will then I look at my son. "Come on, Tyler." Christina and I walk up the path pushing our strollers with Tyler walking between us. We talk about our new apartment on the way up to the Pire. The more I talk about it, the more excited I get. Tyler even told her how excited he is that he gets to decorate his own room and that we're going to the store tonight to look around. She leaned close to me and asked if the furniture store has _Cars_ stuff, and I told her that I didn't know but hoped not.

We arrive at the stairs that lead us to our apartments in record time. I'm sure that it actually took the same amount of time that it always does but the smooth flowing conversation between Christina and I just made the time go faster. At first I was nervous that she's start in on the one topic she knows I shy away from but she hasn't broached my admission of sex on the Ferris wheel or what Zeke was up to. We carry Tessa and Liam upstairs after I promise to come back down for the diaper bags when I go to my place to get Tessa's swing.

"What color do you want in your hair?" she asks when we walk into her apartment.

"I was thinking blue or purple," I say watching her put Liam into his bassinet. "I'll be right back." I put Tessa on the floor then go to our strollers and retrieve both our diaper bags then get the swing. She opens the door for me on the second knock.

"I help," Tyler says taking both diaper bags from me.

"Put them by the table, buddy," Christina says. "We'll need them when we leave again." I set the swing up behind the couch but out of the way then put Tessa in it and set the timer. "Tyler, how would you like to watch something new I bought? I got it for Liam but he's too young to watch it yet." He follows Christina to where she gets a DVD out of a drawer then to the couch. She puts the movie in and soon he's absorbed in something called _Paw Patrol_.

"Nice one with the movie," I say. "At least it isn't you know what."

"Well I want to be able to talk and maybe this way he won't listen to us," she says.

"Don't count on it," I say. "He may act like he's absorbed in something but many times he later repeats something Four or I have said." We sit at her island and she gets out a fresh set of chalks. She picks up the blue and the purple but it's the neon pink that really catches my eye. "I want this one."

"Okay. Here put this on," she says handing me a dye stained dark gray silk robe. I slide it on over my clothes and tighten the sash. She has me sit down on a barstool and brushes my hair.

"So are you going to tell me what Zeke was up to Saturday night?" she blurts out as she is preparing my hair for the chalk. "He was relentless with Four, and he had this crazier than usual look in his eye when he was teasing him."

"I'm surprised anyone actually noticed that," I mutter.

"I did," she says.

"Why did you take his side in getting us to confess to … you know what," I say.

"The Ferris wheel?" she says with a smirk. "By the way, you could have knocked me over with a feather when you said that. I'm not sure what it was Zeke thought he knew but you blew him away, too."

"I still don't like talking about this," I say crossing my arms across my chest in frustration.

"I know," she cheerfully says as she applies the bright pink chalk to strategic strands of hair from the root to the tip. "Spill it."

"You can't tell _anyone_ and that includes Will," I say. "Do you understand me? I'll know if you tell him just by looking him in the eye. Promise?" She actually weighs what I'm asking her. I thought she would jump at the chance to hear this.

"Okay, I promise," she finally says. "I won't repeat any of what you are about to tell me."

"The day of the fear landscape mapping after Four went through his, we got … carried away … in the fear landscape room. Zeke saw us." She furrows her brows in confusion before the realization of what I just said slams into her.

"On camera? Oh my, God, Tris! He caught you on camera." She's laughing so hard that she chokes herself with saliva and starts coughing.

"I'm glad that you, too, find my horror amusing," I spit.

"I'm sorry," she says, trying to stop the laughter but failing miserably. "What did he do?"

"Locked the cameras so no one else could see what was going on and then he erased the footage," I say. I forgo telling her that he offered to make us a sex tape even though I'm sure she'd love to hear it. "He's been teasing Four every chance he gets but this morning he promised to quit."

"Why would he do that? Not that I'm not pleased for the both of you but Zeke doesn't usually give up in his pursuits that easily." The thought of Shauna's ultimatum puts a smile on my face.

"Shauna threatened to cut him off if you know what I mean if he didn't quit it," I say. "Something tells me that he told her why he was asking all the prying questions into our sex life, and she took pity on us. I should thank her but then I'd have to talk about it and honestly I don't want to think about it anymore."

"The Ferris wheel, really?" she asks. "Is that true?"

"Yes," I slowly say.

"I don't know," she says. "I have a hard time believing that."

"Why?" I ask, my tone a little on the hateful side. "Because we were both born in Abnegation and Abnegation don't have sex?" I take a deep breath and look toward the couch to find Tyler asleep. "Four and I love each other very much. We enjoy a very active sex life together. Sometimes we take our lovemaking out of the bedroom." Added color floods my cheek with each admission. "He and I are very close on _every_ level. Simply put, sometimes we just … can't … wait."

"Wow," she says, leaning against the island staring down at me. "I think I see you and Four in a new light. I've known since that morning he gave us his background just how much he loves you but I'm only right now seeing the depth of your feelings for him. It makes me a little jealous."

"It shouldn't," I say. "Don't you see how Will looks at you? He's over the moon for you, Christina. Maybe it's time you believe in that love."

"Why won't he marry me then?" she pouts.

"Have you asked him what the holdup is? Communication is key in a partnership. If you don't feel that you can talk to him I think that's more on you than him. Sit him down and ask why he wants to push back the wedding date. Maybe there's a good explanation. Explain to him what you want then _talk_ about it." She pulls out her straight iron and runs it over each section of hair she chalked to seal the color.

"Thanks for the advice," she says handing me a mirror. "I appreciate it." I hold the mirror up and love what I see. She basically gave me neon pink highlights in my fringe and the hair that frames my face.

"Thank you for this," I say. "Once the baby is born, I might have to do something more permanent. I didn't think color could be this fun."

"We still have time before we have to leave for lunch," she says. "How about I walk you through putting some red streaks in my hair."

"Okay," I say. What she just did to my hair didn't seem that difficult. She gives me detailed directions, which I meticulously follow while we relive some of the best truth and dares from Saturday night. She tells me Kira was wonderful with Liam, and they have worked it out that she will be their exclusive babysitter. I make a mental note to call upper levels and start the process of finding a sitter all over again.

"I hope we see Avery jump today," I say.

"Afton, too," Christina says. "That's Kira's sister. I don't care about the others, well except for Callen. He's finally started opening up. He's a funny guy."

"I saw that side of him Saturday night, too," I say. "It was surprising. I think he must be really shy. Alright, now what?" She gets up and gets a hair instrument I've never seen before and plugs it in so it can heat.

"You're going to run this through the streaks," she says.

"What is that?" I pick it up and look at it.

"It's a ceramic spiral curling iron," she says. "I'll show you how it works." She demonstrates its proper technique on one of her curls then hands it back to me. I run it through her hair, setting each chalk streak. When I'm finished I stand back and admire my handiwork.

"Not bad if I don't say so myself," I say. "Maybe I found a new calling." I giggle as I hand her the handheld mirror.

"You did a wonderful job, Tris," she says with a huge smile on her face, turning her head this way and that. "Thank you so much!" I get Tessa out of her swing and let her nap in my arms while I sit on the couch next to Tyler, relaxing. Christina quickly cleans up the kitchen then nurses a crying Liam.

"Tyler, buddy, we have to go pretty soon," I say as I rub his back, trying to wake him up. "You're probably getting hungry. We need to go see Daddy soon."

"Daddy?" he asks, still half asleep.

"You want to see Daddy?" I ask. He nods his head but still doesn't open his eyes. "You know Mommy can't carry you. You have to be a big boy and walk so you better wake up." He finally opens his eyes and stares at me.

"You got pink in you haiw," he says.

"I know," I say. "It will wash out if you don't like it."

"I don't know," he says still staring.

"That's okay," I say. "Shall we be going? We've got to meet Daddy and Will." We take Liam and Tessa down to their strollers after I put the swing back in the apartment then Christina goes back to her place to get the diaper bags. Once again, conversation fills the journey from the Pire to the Pit and it doesn't seem like it takes any time at all. When we get to the cafeteria, we find we're the first to arrive at our table. I pick up Tessa who lets me know she's hungry again, so I give her the medicine then try to give her a bottle but she refuses it. I'm nursing her when Tobias and Will finally join us.

"Daddy, I miss you," Tyler say when he sees his father. Tobias picks him up and hugs him tightly then sits him down. He gives me a quick peck.

"Sorry we're late, love. I like your hair," he says, taking in the pink streaks. "The reigns of Dauntless have officially been handed over to Tori, Will, and Harrison. For the next nine weeks, we don't have to worry about anything, except for training the initiates."


	22. Chapter 22

I listen to my friends compliment Christina and me on our hair as Tobias takes Tyler to get us each a plate of burgers with the works, bacon macaroni and cheese, seasoned green beans, glazed carrots, and applesauce. I didn't have a chance to get us any food when we first arrived in the cafeteria because Tessa decided to wake up and let me now that she was hungry. Hopefully she won't need me at 3 p.m. but I think she will. I'll tell whoever is in charge at the daycare to try a bottle first but to call me if necessary.

"These yummy," Tyler says as he eats his carrots and applesauce. He hasn't touched the rest of his food yet, which surprises me. He loves macaroni and cheese. He must be leery of the bacon in it.

"They sure are," I say. "Do you know what else is yummy?" He shakes his head excitedly. "The bacon mac and cheese." I take a bite to prove my point and spontaneously moan. Oh my, it's so good. I put a little more on my fork and let him try. He eats the mouthful then mimics my moan causing our friends to laugh.

"That yummy, too," he says. I watch as he digs into the rest of his food, and I can't help but feel a strong sense of accomplishment. I check on Tessa when I feel her stop nursing, and she smiles brightly when her eyes meet mine but she won't latch back on. I hand her to Tobias to burp while I straighten my clothes.

"Can I have cake with Wiah?" Tyler asks when he finishes his green beans. Uriah visibly panics when he asks that question, and a chorus of laughter rounds the table.

"I-I didn't … uh … he c-can but I didn't," he stammers. I think he's really worried about me carrying through with my threat from earlier this morning.

"Tyler, maybe you should ask Uriah if he wants to share his cake with you," I say. "If he does, you can have a little but not too much, okay?"

"Otay," he says. "Wiah, can I have bite of cake?" He puts on his puppy dog eyes and sulks like the champion pouter he is, and Uriah just can't resist.

"Okay, buddy," he says. "Come over here and you can help me eat the rest of my cake." Tyler gets down and runs to Uriah who happily puts him on his lap and shares his cake.

"What time do you except the first jumper?" Kirsten asks.

"Somewhere between 3:30 and 4:00, I think," Will says. "I should be heading to the Hub. I have to meet Tori. Harrison is holding down the fort while we're gone."

"Will you text me with updates?" I ask Will then I turn my attention back toward Tobias and ask, "That's not against some rule, is it?"

"Not that I'm aware of," he says.

"Are you looking for anything specific?" Will asks.

"I want to know what Avery's decision is," I say. "You can also let us know if anything else interesting happens."

"It's a Choosing Ceremony," Zeke says. "Nothing interesting ever happens." He looks at his watch and sighs. "I've got to get to the control room. We have extra patrols around the Hub, which is where Shauna is right now, and every monitor needs to be manned, watching for any signs of trouble. That includes me. It's going to be so boring. I'll feel better when today is over."

"It'll be over for you but it's just starting for us," Uriah says.

"That's the truth," I say. "Christina and I were looking over the schedule earlier. It's going to be a hectic nine weeks."

"It should make the last weeks of your pregnancy go by quickly," Marlene says.

"That's what I told her," Christina says. "I wish I had had something to make my time go quicker two of the last three months."

"I really hadn't thought about it until Christina mentioned it earlier but at the end of initiation I'll only have five weeks left until Four and I meet this precious sweetheart," I say rubbing my hands over my belly.

"You'll be holding that little pink bundle of joy before you know it," Ciara says laying a hand over her flat tummy. We decided to wait and tell our friends what we named Peanut until she's born but they all know we're expecting a girl.

"When are you due, Ciara?" Lynn asks, noticing her hand also.

"January 14," James says and she giggles.

"One of the most important dates in our lives and I can never remember it for the life of me," she says. I notice more of our friends checking their watches and see that it's nearly time to take the kids to the daycare center for the afternoon.

"Well, I'll see you guys later," Lynn says.

"Are any of you coming to watch the jumpers?" Uriah asks.

"I am," Lynn and Marlene say at the same time right before Kirsten says, "Stefan, Trevor, and I are going to be there."

"As much as I'd like to," Ella says, "I'm making up for the crank call I pulled on Bailey Saturday night and letting her go."

"I've got a meeting," Ciara says.

"I'll be watching the festivities from the control room," James says. "I better get going before my boss beats me there."

"I hear ya," Zeke says with a smile. He gets up, and we say goodbye as they take off. Soon Tobias and I are walking the kids into the daycare center, and I see Tyler tug on Tobias' hand. He kneels down and listens to what Tyler has to say.

"I'm very proud that you remembered that," he says, affectionately ruffling his hair.

"Hello, Mrs. Wheeler," I say when the daycare teacher on duty walks up. "We're dropping off Tyler and Tessa, and as per our arrangement, we will be back to pick them up no later than 6:30. We appreciate you allowing us the time we need during initiation."

"Of course, Tris. It's no trouble at all."

"Mrs. Wheeler, can Tyler please speak to Zane, Mia, Emma, and Elliott?" Tobias says.

"Why of course," she says. She disappears down the hall and comes back a minute or two later with Tyler's friends. When Zane sees Tyler he sprints to him and gives him a big hug. When everyone is standing before us, Tyler looks up at Tobias, and his dad nods at him.

"I sowwy I taked you toys," he says. "I was actin' bad. I want fwiends." It amazes me that he remembered that from Friday. I'm going to have to ask Tobias later if he reminded him.

"It okay, Tyler," Zane says. "You my bestest friend."

"Okay, wanna play?" Elliott says. "Let's go!" Tyler starts to run after them but turns back and gives each of us a big hug and kiss.

"Have fun," I say. "We'll pick you up for supper as soon after 6 p.m. as we can. We love you, Tyler." He nods then runs in search of his friends. "There's something else I need to go over with you, Mrs. Wheeler. Tessa has double ear infection. She has refused a bottle for the past three days and is eating approximately every three hours. I packed two bottles but if you can't coax her to take it, just call. I'll come and feed her. You have my number?"

"Yes, Tris. We have both your number and Four's in your file," she says. "I'm sad to hear she hasn't been feeling well."

"Thanks," I say. I pick her up and hold her tightly against my chest while Tobias parks her stroller with the other ones. "Mommy loves you, little one. You be good and _please_ try to take your bottle." She laughs when I start begging, and I shake my head.

"Are you ready, love?" Tobias asks, holding his hand out to me after he kisses Tessa and I hand her off to Mrs. Wheeler.

"I am," I say as I take his hand. "What do we have to do?"

"We have some doors to unlock," he says. The first place he leads me is the transfers' dorm. He unlocks the single wooden door and pushes his way inside. I follow after him, watching him turn on the lights, remembering all the time I spent in this room. I don't realize I sigh until Tobias turns with a questioning look on his face.

"You sighed," he says. "Want to talk about whatever's bothering you?"

"I was just thinking about the time I spent in this room," I say. I go to where I used to spend my nights and run my fingers along the metal bunk bed frame. "Yes, I had some pleasant enough times in this room. I got to know Will, Christina, and A…" The name disintegrates as it leaves my mouth. How can I lump him with two of my best friends?

"It's alright to think of Al and the good times you had with him," he softly says, knowing where my thoughts suddenly took me.

"It's still hard even after all this time. I'm not sure it will ever change," I say. "Anyway, most of the memories I have of this room are not pleasant: Edward getting stabbed in the eye and cleaning up the blood." The look on his face tells me he didn't know that part. "Peter exposing me to the other initiates; Peter spray painting 'Stiff' all over my bed and bedding; lying in bed at night, homesick, trying to accept that I made the right decision; listening to Al's near constant sobbing; having my friends doubt me." I sigh again. "Then there's the last night I spent in this room, the night you came home drunk and got all handsy. I was afraid everyone would be up and they would interrogate me on why I was there but no one was." I start to tell him I cried myself to sleep but why reopen old wounds.

"I have an idea," he says, mischief lighting his eyes. What's he up to? "We can replace all of the bad memories with a happy one." I catch on to what he's saying and I blush. "Of course, we don't have the time right now but I think the transfer's dorm room needs to be added to our lists." I look around, scanning my surroundings for a camera. "No cameras in dormitories or bathrooms." I go up on my tiptoes and draw his mouth to mine. I feel naughty kissing Four in the dorm room. I suddenly feel like his initiate again. We deepen the kiss, and he backs me up into the wall, his hands running their way to the hem of my shirt. I catch them before he can lift it, though. We stare at each other while we let our breathing return to normal.

"Wow," I pant. "There's a forbidden feeling kissing you here."

"I felt it, too, love," he says, moving his hands to cup my cheeks. He softly kisses me again then reluctantly pushes himself away from me with a groan. I smooth the wrinkles out of my shirt while he runs his hand through his hair. "Come on, we have more doors to unlock."

He next unlocks the men's and women's bathrooms in the dimly lit hallway that runs between the transfers' dormitory and the Dauntless-born's then he unlocks a hidden door that leads to the tunnel that goes to the net. This must be where the Dauntless-born went with Lauren after we split up last year. I've never been beyond the woman's bathroom before now. He unlocks the single wooden door leading into the Dauntless-born dorm, and we step inside where he turns the lights on. Although it looks exactly like the transfers' dorm room, it's larger to accommodate more beds since there are always more Dauntless-born than faction transfers. Next we head across the Pit floor to the set of double doors that leads up to the net.

"This will be the fourth time I've been in the tunnel," I say, making conversation as Tobias unlocks the doors.

"Fourth?" he asks, turning to look at me, sounding shocked. "Shouldn't this only be your third time?"

"I wanted to be alone one night after simulation practice was over to think," I say, shrugging my shoulders. "After wandering a little bit, I found myself heading toward the net."

"Hhm. Eric obviously forgot to lock it back up," he says. "What did you think about?"

"A lot actually," I say. "I thought about the two Erudite reports that had come out that week and how Will, Christina, Uriah, and Marlene did a good job of distracting me from dwelling on them. I thought about why I wanted to join Dauntless in the first place and why I wanted it so badly that I was willing to jump off a building not knowing what was at the bottom. I remembered carefully studying the Dauntless in school and feeling a strong sense of freedom that Abnegation denied and wanting to be just like them. I thought about what I had learned about myself up until that point, and I realized that I didn't jump to be like the Dauntless, I did it because I already _was_ like the Dauntless. I found some peace that night lying in the net." He drapes his arm over my shoulders and kisses the top of my head. I wince and rub my belly.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"Oh, she's just practicing her kickboxing on my kidneys or liver or something," I say.

"Can I feel?" he asks as we make it to the platform. He puts his hands on my belly eliciting memories of last night and I flush.

"I don't think you'll feel her," I say, covering his hands with mine. "She's kicking on the inside." His pouty face reminds me of Tyler's and makes me giggle.

"What's so funny?" he asks.

"You just reminded me of Tyler," I say, grazing my knuckles down from his temple to jaw. "Where are we going?" He leads me to a hidden doorway in the wall at the end of the platform behind the net. I stumble on a step in the dark and run into him.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asks, turning around to steady me.

"I'm fine, I just can't see a thing," I say. "Where are you taking me?"

"To unlock the roof access door," he says. "I asked Will if he wanted to jump and he said he'd rather not." He continues up the steep stairway at a slower pace, holding my hand tightly so I don't stumble again. After a minute he stops, and I hear him slide a key into a lock.

"Whoa," I say as we step out onto the roof, the sun blinding me.

"I hate it up here," he says under his breath, breathing heavily.

"I know you do, baby," I say wrapping my arms around him. I press my ear against his chest and feel his heart beating wildly. He tilts my chin up and presses his lips to mine. I get lost in his kiss as the sun beats down on us and a warm breeze wafts across our bodies. The buzz of my phone brings us back to reality. "Mmm." I swear I could make a fulltime job out of kissing Tobias. I pull away from him and take my phone out. "The first person just chose. Any other doors you need to unlock?"

"No, I got them all. Thanks for keeping me company," he says. "Maybe we should see if Christina needs help with the duffel bags." She's filling 25 Dauntless duffels with toiletries to be given to each of the initiates. Tori and Harrison are handing out clothes after supper along with a welcome speech.

"Why didn't you let someone else unlock that door?" I ask as he carefully leads me back down the dark stairwell.

"I guess I think that if I keep facing this fear head on that one day I will conquer it," he says.

"It might not ever happen," I say.

"It doesn't hurt to try," he says. When we exit the stairwell, I'm surprised to see that the first of the Dauntless have already gathered to welcome the new initiates. I guess they don't have anything better to do today. We walk to the boutique where Christina had the supplies stored and is assembling the bags.

"Hey, Christina," I say. "Need help?"

"Thank you," she says. "I swear if I ever see another bottle of shampoo, I'm going to scream." I try to stifle a chuckle but don't quite make it, eliciting a frown from her.

"Well, put us to work," I say. She has each of us count out 25 toothbrushes, toothpastes, and on and on until all the toiletries are in nice piles of 25. Next she hands us a large zipper top bag, and we put one of each item in it and then put that bag in the duffel. It's time consuming, menial work that I'm glad we don't have to do on a daily basis. "What if there are more than 25 of them?"

"It will never happen," Tobias says. Christina and I exchange a shrug then look back at him.

"Why not?" she asks.

"There have never been more than 15 Dauntless-born and 10 transfers at any one time," he says. "And that's straight from choosing. Never in the history of Dauntless have all the initiates made it to the compound." I momentarily remember the Erudite boy who never made it onto the train, the Amity boy who refused to jump onto the rooftop, and the Dauntless girl who fell jumping off the train last year and her sister Rita. Her heart ripping sobs sound in my mind, and a shiver runs through my body. I don't recall seeing her beyond that day. She must be factionless now. I can't believe that I never thought about her once this past year. My phone rings pulling me from my reverie, and I already know who it is.

"Hi, Mrs. Wheeler," I say.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Tris, but Tessa won't take her bottle," she says sounding desperate. I hear Tessa's cries in the background.

"I'll be there as soon as I can," I say. "I'm at the boutique so it won't take me long. Thanks for calling." I hang up and sigh. "I've got to go. Tessa won't take her bottle."

"Thanks for helping," Christina says.

"Should I wait for you?" Tobias says.

"No, you better go to the net just in case the initiates arrive before I'm finished," I say. "I'll be there as soon as I can. I love you." I kiss him on the cheek then wave at the two of them before I head to the daycare. Once again, I hear my sweet baby girl before I see her. I follow her cries to a back room and knock on the open door. Relief floods Mrs. Wheeler's face when they meet mine.

"Thank God, Tris!" she says. "You were right about her refusing a bottle but I didn't know she would get this upset."

"I'm sorry," I say. "I should have warned you." I take Tessa out of her arms, and she immediately calms down.

"I'll leave you two alone," Mrs. Wheeler says as she closes the door behind her.

"Did you just miss your Mommy? Is that why you were crying?" I ask her as I sit down in the rocking chair. I cradle her against my chest, and she starts nuzzling my breast. "Maybe you are hungry." Soon she's eating like a champion. "What am I going to do with you? What am I saying? If you need me, little one, I'm here for you. The initiates will always come second to you, your brother, and your Daddy. I love you very much, Tessa." I rock her as she nurses, relaxing us both. I close my eyes but don't fall asleep because every five minutes or so my phone buzzes with a new text from Will, I imagine. After half-an-hour, she seems sated, and I put her up to my shoulder to burp her. After I straighten myself up, I go in search of Mrs. Wheeler but find Tyler first. I'm getting ready to say hello when I see an older boy who's maybe 5 or 6 talking to him, and he frowns then goes over to his little friend Emma and takes her book away from her.

"Tris, there you are," Mrs. Wheeler says. Tyler freezes when he hears my name. When his eyes meet mine they flood with tears.

"Who's that boy standing by the bookcase?" I quietly ask.

"That's Bobby Ridinger," she says with a sigh. "Did you see him do something to Tyler?"

"I'm curious, how often is Bobby around when Tyler gets in trouble?" I ask.

"Every time, actually," she says after thinking about it for a moment.

"Can I take Tyler to that room I just nursed Tessa in?" I ask. "I just witnessed something but I'm not entirely sure what it was. I need to talk to my son." I kiss Tessa's head and hand her to Mrs. Wheeler who takes her into the infant room for a nap. I step through the open doorway and approach Tyler who is standing stone still with tears streaming down his face. "You better give that book back to Emma, young man." He holds it out, and she takes it back.

"Tanks, Ty," she says.

"Come with me, Tyler," I say, holding my hand out. He takes it, and we walk down the hallway.

"I sowwy, Mommy," he stutters between sobs. I help him onto my lap and hold him until he composes himself.

"I need to ask you some questions," I say. "I need you to be honest with Mommy, okay?" He nods his head at me. "Is that boy, Bobby, your friend?" He looks toward the floor, and refuses to look at me. I meet Mrs. Wheeler's eyes with a confused look on my face, which matches hers.

"Do you want me to bring Bobby in here, Tris?" she asks.

"No, I want to hear what Tyler has to say," I say. "I saw you take that book away from Emma after he said something to you. Why did you do that?"

"He made me mad," Tyler says, his voice small. Mad?

"How?" I ask.

"He say cause you dop me, you no love me. I not you weal son," he says, tears coming once again. Furry courses through my veins. How dare that little brat say something like that?

"Did you believe him?" I ask.

"He keep sayin' it," he says, sniffing. "I tell him stop by he no do it."

"But why did you take Emma's book away?" I ask.

"I want hew to feel bad, too," he says and my heart constricts. I wrap my arms around him and fight the tears wanting to escape my eyes.

"My sweet, sweet boy," I say pulling him back so I can look in his eyes. "I've told you this before." Suddenly what he said about being adopted and not being our real son makes perfect sense. "You are my son just like Tessa is my daughter. No, you weren't in Mommy's tummy like Peanut is but that doesn't mean anything to me or to Daddy. I love you so much, and it hurts me when you are hurting." A couple tears escape, and he reaches up and wipes them away. "Why didn't you tell me or Daddy that there's a boy here bothering you? We would have talked to Mrs. Wheeler and his parents if necessary. Tyler Aaron, you are loved by so many people. You know that. I. Love. You. Please don't ever doubt that. You are one of the most important people in my life. The first time you called me Mommy I was so thankful and it was one of the best days of my life. I wanted to be your mommy so bad. That is how much I love you." He wraps his arms around my neck and hugs me tightly.

"I love you, Mommy," he says.

"I know you do, my sweet boy," I say. "Please remember that no matter what hurtful words are hurled your way, your Mommy and Daddy love you and you are our son. That is what adopted means."

"Weally?" he says, sounding surprised.

"That's right," I say. "We adopted you making you our son and us your mommy and daddy. But you knew that."

"I know," he says.

"Do you want to go play with your friends?" I ask. "Don't take toys away from them to make them feel bad, okay? That's not being nice."

"Otay, Mommy," he says. I help him get off my lap, and we walk back to the playroom.

"I sowwy, Emma," he say.

"It otay, Ty," she says, giving him a hug. My eyes slide to Bobby who looks out of place with all the 2- and 3-year-olds in the room.

"Why is he in here?" I ask.

"He's big for his age," she says. "He's only just had his 4th birthday last week, and he's the only 4-year-old we have." That only cuts my rage minutely.

"Is he trouble?" I ask. "When I asked about him, you sighed."

"I'll be honest," she says. "We've had a lot of trouble with him but I hadn't noticed him bullying Tyler."

"I know we need to go through the proper channels to handle this situation," I say. "I'll let you talk to him, but if I hear that he's been terrorizing my son again, I'll take matters into my own hands." I glance at the clock on the wall and see that it's nearly 3:30. "I've got to go. They could be jumping already. I hate having to leave Tyler right now but I'm trusting you to take care of him. Please don't make me regret it, Mrs. Wheeler."

"I take my job very seriously, Tris," she says. "I'm sorry for the trouble with Tyler. I'll make sure that it doesn't happen again."

"It better not," I say. I walk into the playroom. "Tyler?" He turns around, a smile on his face and I smile back. He comes running over and I kneel down and give him a hug and a kiss. My eyes slide to Bobby's, and he looks genuinely surprised that I'm showing my son affection. "Mommy's got to go but I'll see you somewhere around 6:30. We'll have supper and then we'll go to the furniture store and look around."

"Otay," he says. "I be good."

"I know you will. I love you."

"I love you, Mommy," he says.

"Bye, Mrs. Wheeler. I expect a full report when Four and I return. He might want to speak with you also." I see the color drain from her face as she nods. "Thank you. Bye, kids. You _all_ be good." I exit the room but before I leave, I turn around and look at Tyler. He's sitting on the floor with Zane and Elliott playing with the racecars. He looks up and smiles then goes right back to playing. Knowing he's alright now is the only thing allowing me to leave.


	23. Chapter 23

After leaving the daycare center, knowing I'm late, I hurry across the Pit floor to the double doors that lead to the net, which are now propped wide open for easy access. I see a couple with bright blue and unnaturally black hair, respectively, walking several yards in front of me. I pass them without a word when we're about halfway to the net. When the dark, dank tunnel opens into the cavernous room, I'm surprised to see so many Dauntless members gathered around to watch the initiates who don't seem to be here yet, at least I haven't heard any screams. I don't remember there being this many onlookers last year.

I see Zander and Stella huddled close together near the platform, worry etched into their features. I wave to them without receiving a response as I climb the stairs to where Tobias, Christina, and Uriah are standing. My eyes meet my husband's when I reach the top of the stairs. The look on his face tells me that he's remembering what we did right here last night, and I blush scarlet. It's a good thing Zeke's not around.

"There you are," Christina says, drawing my attention away from Tobias. "Do you by chance have some texts from Will? We can't figure out where they are. I left my phone at home and, if can you believe it, Four and Uriah's phones are both dead." That surprises me.

"I totally forgot," I say, digging my phone out of my pocket. "It buzzed a few times while I was nursing Tessa then I had to take care of something so I forgot to check it." I know I have to tell Tobias about the situation with Tyler and Bobby Ridinger but it will have to wait until later. I'd like to tell him now but according to my latest text from Will the initiates should be arriving any minute. "They're on their way as we speak. The Choosing Ceremony ran late."

"Heard anything about a certain Dauntless-born?" Tobias asks. I shake my head as I scroll through the multiple updates Will provided.

"There's nothing about Avery. It does look like some factionless 16-year-olds took place in the ceremony, however. We got two as did Candor and Erudite. Holy shit!" I exclaim, attracting the attention of numerous Dauntless members gathered in front of the platform. "Sorry."

"What is it?" Tobias asks, his brows furrowed with concern.

"Murphy and Galen chose different factions," I say, reading off of one of Will's earlier texts. I hear Christina gasp beside me. This is surprising news. They couldn't keep their hands off each other Saturday night. "Murphy's inconsolable and being quite disruptive. Will and Tori had to remind her not once but twice what faction she's representing now that she's officially chosen Dauntless. Apparently, Galen chose Candor with Rhys after Murphy chose Dauntless." I look up into Tobias' slightly amused face.

"Those two were practically having sex in front of a room full of strangers at the Candor or Dauntless party Saturday night," he says. "I thought they would chose together. Let me rephrase that. I was _hoping_ they'd choose together."

"During a short break that night, Avery told me they've been dating for _two_ years. I think _everyone_ thought they would choose the same faction," I say. "Wow, I foresee trouble because of this." I look at Uriah and Christina and add with a chuckle, "You're going to have your hands full with her."

"We'll handle her, right Christy?" She narrows her eyes at Uriah and scowls. I have to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. "This is so much fun," he excitedly says. The three of us look at him like he may be in need of professional help. "You've got to admit it's better than _being_ an initiate. I thought I was going to hurl from all the jumping last year and not because I was afraid, I was _that_ nervous."

"I couldn't believe that they kept making us jump," Christina says. "I thought I was going to die before the net finally caught me."

"Yeah, we heard you," Tobias says with a chuckle. "I think everyone in the compound heard you." I chuckle at the remembrance of Christina screaming, _loudly_ , throughout her entire fall.

"I understood immediately that our initiation started the minute we left the Hub," I say. "Leave it to Dauntless to never do anything halfway." My phone buzzes again, and I quickly read Will's text. "They're jumping onto the roof as we speak." We all shift and look toward the gaping hole above us but it's impossible to see anything because of the glare of the sun. At least it's not raining. That would make for a terrible mess.

I'm suddenly worried that Will hasn't said anything about Avery. She must have decided to transfer factions, and he's trying to spare my feelings. I'm going to miss her. I can't stand the thought of facing Zander and Stella and telling them that Tobias and I failed to make her see that Dauntless is where she should be.

"Why the long face?" Tobias quietly asks.

"Just thinking about Avery," I say.

"Still no word?" he asks and I shake my head.

"So, anyone want to make a bet what faction the first jumper will come from?" Uriah asks, pulling both Tobias and me from our funk.

"I have a feeling it's going to be a Dauntless-born," Christina says. "According to the gossip I heard when I worked in the salon, it's very rarely a faction transfer." I clear my throat, and she turns her head to look at me.

"How quickly you forget," I scoff.

"You were an anomaly," she says matter-of-factly.

"You must have been amazed when you saw the first jumper was a Stiff last year, huh, Four?" Uriah says.

"Amazed is _exactly_ how I felt when I saw her falling toward the net," Tobias says, his mesmerized eyes on mine. "I was also impressed. Not a lot of Dauntless face fear head on the way she did that day. It was unheard of but as you know Tris has always been more Dauntless than anything else." He leans over and gives me a quick peck. I'd like to grab a hold of him and take my time but his lips are gone just as quickly as they appear.

"How are you two going to keep from making out in front of the transfers?" Uriah asks with humor in his voice.

"If you think _that_ was making out, you're doing it wrong," Tobias says with a smirk on his face. Uriah scowls back at him. I can't help the small giggle that escapes my lips.

"Stop teasing him, Four," Christina says, rolling her eyes. "Seriously, you both know what he's talking about. You two can barely keep your hands off of each other for two minutes when you're together. Like earlier when you got here, Tris. You two looked at each other like you wanted to tear each other's clothes off and go at it right here on the platform." My mouth drops open and heat floods my cheek remembering last night. Does she know?

"I'm insulted that you two think that Tris and I can't behave in a business-like manner when we're with the initiates," Tobias says. "We already agreed to keep it strictly professional when we're training the transfers. They will be our focus when we're in the training and simulation rooms."

"That being said, we're not going to hide the fact that we are a happily married couple with two children and another on the way. We couldn't hide it even if we wanted to," I say. I hold up my left hand and put it next to his, displaying our matching tattoos and wedding rings. "As a matter of fact, we don't want to hide it but we will be respectful in how we act in front of the transfers at all times. It's our job." They look at us skeptically for a moment.

"I'd like to put a wager on it but I'm going to be too busy with my own initiates to worry if you and Tris are giving yours sex education as part of the curriculum," Uriah says with an evil grin that makes me think of Zeke. Christina starts laughing as I shake my head. Movement catches my eye, and I see the first initiate falling toward the net not making a sound. Like Christina predicted, the streak is black.

"This isn't over yet," Tobias says pointing at Uriah's chest, his Four mask firmly in place. When the net finally catches the Dauntless-born initiate, preventing her untimely death, I recognize her … Avery. I find Stella and see the relief in her eyes. She smiles brightly at me and I nod. When I turn back around I see Tobias helping her out of the net.

"So glad to see you again," he says. It has a nonchalance that doesn't give away the depth of his relief.

She holds her head up high and says, "Thanks, Four."

"Since I know your name, I won't ask," he says with a smile. "Uriah, Christina, make the announcement."

"First jumper, Avery," they shout at the same time so that everyone in the room can hear. The Dauntless members standing behind us go crazy, stomping, shouting, and fist pumping the air in celebration. God, I love that sound! Uriah tells her where she needs to wait, and I watch as she walks down the stairs, her eyes on Zander and Stella the entire time. They only exchange smiles as she goes to the prearranged meeting area.

We spend the next hour watching jumper after jumper hit the net, the celebratory air present the entire time. It makes us more excited each time an initiate jumps. By the time we are done, we've welcomed 11 Dauntless-born, 10 faction transfers, and 2 factionless as our initiates, making history not once but twice. First, because of the addition of the two factionless initiates, this is the first time in the history of Choosing Day that the transfers outnumber the Dauntless-born. Second, this is the first time that every single dependent who chose Dauntless actually made it to the compound in one piece, which makes me extremely happy. Not 1 among the 23 will be factionless unless they prove to be unworthy.

Besides Galen's faction transfer, we've had another huge surprise. Alec Parrish, Asher Parrish's son, who spent six months in jail then had his memory wiped with memory serum for his part in Dru and his father's plot to kill suspected Divergents is one of our transfers. I caught Callen giving him dirty looks, which I don't blame him for in the least. I know how he feels but I had to give him a warning look just the same, which he took and turned his attention back to Avery.

After all the initiates have jumped, the 12 transfers and 11 Dauntless-born follow closely behind Uriah, Christina, Tobias, and me down the narrow, dimly lit tunnel. I'm surprised by the silence that surrounds us. The only sound beside the unsure, shuffling footsteps of our transfers is Murphy's occasional sniffling. I imagine the others are quiet because they're still in shock since Galen absconded from Dauntless. Thankfully, her crying has subsided for the moment. I feel sorry for the ones who have to bunk with her tonight. When we reach the spot where the secret passage to the dorm rooms is, we stop. I hide a grin when the initiates all run into each other because of the quick halt, much like I did when I bumped into Edward last year.

"This is where we split up," Christina brusquely says. I can see she's trying to hide her giddiness behind a bland smile but she's not fooling me one bit. She's thrilled that initiation has finally started.

"Dauntless-born, you follow Christina and me," Uriah says. "I assume _you_ don't need a tour." My attention turns to the transfers as the Dauntless-born disappear into the darkness on the heels of Uriah and Christina, not wanting to waste any more time beginning the rest of their lives.

Tobias and I have one Amity, six Candor, three Erudite, and two factionless. He once told me that Candor and Dauntless have a fairly high mutual transfer rate, and this year is no exception, 7 of our 11 transferred dependents went to Candor.

We continue down the tunnel and once again stop, this time in front of the now closed double doors that lead directly onto the Pit floor. My eyes roam over the group standing before me, which consists of seven girls and five boys while Tobias does his usual introduction to Dauntless. Surprisingly, no one interrupts him like Christina did last year to question his name. Maybe the frightening Four look that's covering his face at the moment is keeping those who want to ask about his unusual nickname silent or perhaps maybe no one is as curious as my best friend. He looks my way signaling my part of the tour.

"Through these doors is the Pit," I say. "It's the center of life here in Dauntless, and one day you will come to love it." I push through the heavy wooden doors and walk out onto the floor of the Pit. I remember seeing it for the first time like it was yesterday. Even though I found it frantic and frenzied and a bit terrifying, I also found all that chaos to be wonderful. It's as far removed from Abnegation as one can get, and it fascinated me. If I'm being honest, it still does. I love everything about the Pit.

"If you will follow us, we'll show you the chasm," Tobias says, leading us to the dark right side of the Pit. I glance over my shoulder to make sure everyone is following us and notice a tall, pretty, red-haired girl from Candor practically undressing my husband with her eyes. She senses my heated gaze and gives me a wide grin. It shouldn't surprise me that someone else finds him attractive but for some reason the look in her eyes enrages me. Normally I would take his hand to let the little tart know that he's taken but I promised we would keep things strictly professional during work hours. Oh, God! I sound like Marlene. I guess the green-eyed monster has come out to play in me, too. I make a note to keep an eye on her.

"The chasm is here to remind us all that there's a fine line between courage and stupidity," I shout above the roar of the raging river several stories below us. Tobias leads us to the railing, and I notice most of the transfers are leaning up against it. Not the factionless boy though. His name is Brody if I remember correctly. He's standing on the edge peering over the side. I can see that he's absorbing everything around him. "A reckless jump off this ledge will end your life. It's happened before, and it will happen again. You have been warned." I'm afraid my voice will break remembering Al's suicide but, thankfully, it doesn't. Tobias and I next lead the transfers across the Pit floor and down a series of hallways to the dorm. They file into the room behind us, and I notice them looking around confused.

"There's not enough beds," one of the two male Candor transfers, Grant, says. He's tall and muscular with wavy blonde hair and dark blue eyes. Something about him reminds me of Peter but I can't pinpoint what it is so I'm already distrustful of him.

"We all have to sleep in here together?" the Amity transfer, Sadie, says sounding panicked before Grant really finishes his statement. I imagine she's like I was last year and has never slept in a room with a boy before.

"Before lights out there will be another bunk bed brought in from the Dauntless-born dorms," I say addressing Grant's question.

"As for all of you sleeping in the same room, the answer is yes," Tobias gruffly says, addressing Sadie's question. I hear my phone buzz, and I glance up at Tobias who's looking down at me with furrowed brows while I check my text. Tessa is inconsolable again, and it's disrupting the other children. It's only 5:45. She shouldn't be hungry again.

"Tessa," is all I say. He nods and gives me a slight smile before I walk away, leaving him to finish the remainder of the tour.

"Hey, Tris," Zeke says when I round the corner, nearly bumping into him. He looks at his watch and adds, "The tour over already?"

"Tessa's still not feeling well," I say. "She's been crying, and the daycare workers are at their wit's end."

"Need help with Tyler?" he asks. "I'm done for the day."

"Sure," I say. We continue on to the daycare center in uncomfortable silence. Finally I say, "Thanks, Zeke."

"For what?" he asks, appearing genuinely confused.

"Stopping the teasing," I say. His cheeks turn red as he looks anywhere but at me.

"I should apologize to you about that. I got carried away Saturday night," he says, finally looking straight at me. "I love teasing Four but it was never my intention to bring you into the middle of it but once I started I couldn't stop. It didn't help that I was drunk. Shauna tells me that my filter goes out the window when I've been drinking." I hear Tessa's cries the minute Zeke opens the door for me. His eyes widen as he looks my way. "Is that Tessa?"

"Yep," I say.

"Wow, she's got a set of lungs on her," he says. When we walk into the same room I found her in earlier, a worker whose name I don't know is holding her up to her shoulder, patting her back gently as she rocks her.

"Zeke, will you go find Tyler and have Mrs. Wheeler bring in Tessa's diaper bag. Her antibiotic is in there." He nods and heads out of the room. Tessa turns her head at the sound of my voice and, impossibly, cries even louder. "My sweet girl," I say lifting her out of the arms of the distressed young woman. "Thanks. What's wrong, little one? Do your ears hurt? Should I take you to see Zander?"

"Tris, thank you for coming," Mrs. Wheeler says when she comes into the room followed by Zeke who is carrying Tyler in one arm and the diaper bag in the other. "She's been crying for about 30 minutes like that. We changed her diaper twice, tried to give her a bottle, and tried to get her to sleep. You have the magic touch with her." She's still whimpering a bit but she's quieted down considerably.

"Thanks for calling," I say. "I'm going to take her to see Dr. Parrish. Is there an update on the other matter?"

"Yes, I talked to Bobby," she says, eyeing Zeke strangely but I motion for her to continue. "I told him that it wasn't nice to say the things he has been saying. He couldn't give me an explanation as to why he did it. He was sat in timeout. He apologized to Tyler without being encouraged to do so, which I view as a good sign. He didn't go near him the rest of the afternoon. I want to apologize for overlooking this matter. I've seen them talking a few times but their interaction has always been friendly-looking, and Tyler has never taken his aggression out on Bobby, only his friends." I glance at Tyler and knowing he's being talked about, he starts pouting.

"You're not in trouble, buddy," I say. "If Bobby says anything that makes you feel bad you need to tell him that it isn't nice and to stop. If he won't, you need to tell Mrs. Wheeler or one of the other teachers and then tell Mommy and Daddy. Okay?"

"Otay," he says.

"I'm sorry for the disruption with Tessa," I say. "Hopefully, she will feel better tomorrow." I turn and look at Zeke and realize he looks upset. I wonder what that's about. "Do you want to take Tyler to supper?"

"I'll tag along with you, if that's alright," he says. We quickly walk to the infirmary and are immediately taken to an examination room to wait for Zander. "Is someone bothering my little buddy?"

"Unfortunately," I quietly say looking at Tyler who is sitting on the floor playing with his race car that was in the diaper bag. "I haven't had a chance to tell Four about it yet. That boy has made him think the baby will replace him and that we don't love him because he's adopted. Why? We have no idea." He draws in a sharp breath.

"That's a bunch of…" I caution him with my eyes. "I'm sorry he's going through this. I know it's not an excuse but maybe something like this happened to that other boy, and he's acting out," Zeke says as Zander walks into the room.

"Tessa, are you still not feeling well?" he asks.

"She's been crying a lot and having trouble eating," I say. "I'm not sure if daycare will let her back in until she will at least take a bottle."

"Let me take a look," he says. I start to lie her on the examination table and he says, "That's okay. You can go ahead and hold her." He takes her temperature, listens to her heart and lungs, and then looks into her ears, nose, and throat, much like Dr. Wilson did Saturday night before gently pressing on her neck and around her ears. "What antibiotic did they give you at the hospital?" I have Zeke dig it out of the bag and hand it to him. "Hhm. This is a good medication but I think she needs something a little stronger. I would expect her ears to be looking better at this point and, unless her case was severe, I'm not seeing that. So I'm going to write you a prescription to take to the pharmacy. Give her a dose before you nurse her and again before you put her to bed tonight. Then starting tomorrow, three doses daily for seven days. I want to see her back here in two days if she's still refusing a bottle." He writes out a prescription, tears off the little sheet of paper, and hands it to me.

"Thanks for seeing Tessa on such short notice, Zander," I say. Sensing he would like to talk to me I turn my attention to Zeke. "Hey, Zeke, can you take this and get the pharmacy working on it. I really appreciate everything you've done while Four's with the transfers." I hand him the prescription, and he leaves with Tyler on his shoulders.

"Anything for you, Tris," Zander says. "Stella and I owe you and Four a debt of gratitude. I was beyond ecstatic when my daughter was the first jumper. I'm just as proud today as I was the day she was born. I don't know what you and Four said to her, but she was a totally different person when she came home last night."

"I didn't really do much," I say. "It was all Four. He was wonderful with her. I'm glad she's still here, too, but we better not speak of this again. I better catch up with Zeke and Tyler before my son gets cake for supper." He laughs with me for a moment before surprising me with a hug.

"Thanks, Tris," he says, emotion thick in his voice.

"You're very welcome," I say. "Gotta go." I meet Zeke and Tyler at the pharmacy just as they get the prescription filled. I sign for it and immediately give her the first dose. She doesn't make a face with this one. She smacks her little lips together and repeatedly sticks her tongue out. "Was that good?" She smiles at me, her bad mood forgotten for the moment. I hug her close and kiss her head. "Shall we get supper? I for one am famished." Tyler furrows his brows in confusion. "Mommy's hungry," I clarify.

"Me, too," he says. "I want mac 'n cheese and cake."

"You want cake in your macaroni and cheese?" Zeke teases, mimicking a gagging motion.

"No!" Tyler giggles. "I wanna eat mac 'n cheese _then_ I want cake with Wiah."

"Of course, you do, buddy," I say. We walk into the cafeteria, and I'm surprised to see that Tobias hasn't finished with the transfers yet. I walk by a table full of the Dauntless-borns and see that they are trying in vain to console Murphy.

"Hi, Avey," Tyler says over Zeke's shoulder.

"Hi, buddy," she says with a brilliant smile. "I'll see you soon."

"Otay!" he happily says. "Zeke, sit with me?"

"Sure, kiddo," he says. "How about we go get you that mac and cheese? We'll be right back, Tris."

"Okay," I say. I recognize that Tessa's getting hungry again, and I need to feed her before she starts wailing, disrupting the entire cafeteria. "You're going to have to wait until Uncle Zeke gets back with your diaper bag, little one." I caress her cheek as I hold her. She keeps turning her head toward my finger trying to get it in her mouth. "Sorry, baby girl, but that's not what you want. I promise." Tyler sits down next to me and after being begged, Zeke sits on the other side of him. I note with pleasure that beside the macaroni and cheese and cake, Zeke got him green beans and applesauce. "Can you get a blanket out of the diaper bag for me?" Zeke rifles through the bag before handing me a soft pink blanket with white crowns all over it.

"Is Tess hungwy?" Tyler asks when I cover her head.

"She sure is," I say.

"She want some mac 'n cheese?" he asks, holding up his fork, his face so serious.

"It will be a while before she'll eat macaroni and cheese with you I'm afraid," I say. "But that was awfully nice of you to want to share. You're such a sweet boy. Mommy loves you."

"I love you, too," he says. "Is Daddy eatin'?"

"I think he should be here soon," I say looking toward the entrance just in time to see Tobias lead the transfers into the cafeteria. When the Dauntless see the transfers enter the cavernous room, their arrival is celebrated with stomping of feet, shouting, and clattering of table service. I can't help but smile at all their grinning faces, which makes me remember walking in here for the first time. Tobias says something to them then heads our way while they move as one to the food line like a flock of birds migrating south for the winter, all except for Olivia who carefully watches every move _my_ husband makes. I'm going to have to have a talk with her.


	24. Chapter 24

"Hello, everyone," Tobias says when he reaches our table, eyeing Zeke who is sitting in his seat.

"Zeke sit by me," Tyler says to his father, making him smile.

"Well, I'll sit with Shauna then," he says.

"That would be a welcome change," she says, looking up at him over her shoulder with a smile.

"Do you need a plate, Tris?" he asks, eyeing the blanket covering Tessa who is still nursing.

"Please," I say. He returns with plates full of moist rotisserie chicken, loaded baked potatoes with extra cheese, glazed carrots, and apple salad and sits down next to Shauna. He slides my plate to me, and I thank him.

"How did everything go with the transfers?" Uriah asks, sitting down with two slices of cake and a large glass of milk.

"Fine I guess. Nothing unexpected happened. They were quiet, absorbing their new surroundings, and asked very few question," he says.

"Did you get in their faces?" Christina asks, expectation on her face.

"Didn't have to," he says. "No one kept interrupting me like someone I know." She sticks her tongue out at him and throws her dinner roll at his head, which he catches with his right hand and promptly takes a bite.

"Impressive, Four," Shauna says, bumping her shoulder into his. He tears it in two and offers her the other half, which she takes.

"Did Murphy ever stop crying?" Tobias asks.

"Look at her for yourself, Four," Uriah says with disgust, motioning toward her table, exasperated. "Girl's a mess. I'll trade her for half your initiates right here, right now." A chorus of laughter booms from our table, and even though I do feel slightly bad for what she's going through, I can't help but join in.

"I eat cake now?" Tyler expectantly asks after he cleans his plate.

"Sure," I say. He happily hops down and runs to Uriah and wiggles his way between him and his father then shares not only his cake but his milk. I'm thankful that my friends love him as much as Tobias and I do.

The conversation keeps returning to the initiates, transfers, and the Choosing Ceremony. Will gives us a blow-by-blow of what happened at the Hub from our first dependent, Annalie Zachariah, choosing Amity to Afton Bell choosing to remain in Dauntless. The biggest surprise besides the six 16-year-old factionless choosing was Murphy screaming "NO!" at the top of her lungs when Gavin Scott, Erudite's leader, announced Galen's choice was Candor. Will tells us that he expected some sort of emotion on Galen's part after leaving his girlfriend of two years but he indifferently sat amongst the sea of black and white never once looking her way.

"He's either one hell of an actor or he's definitely not the kind of person we would have wanted in Dauntless anyway," Will says after we've all finished supper and dessert. "Are you ready to go home and see Liam?" Christina and Will decided to hire a nanny to care for Liam instead of taking him to daycare. After what I witnessed today, I'm thinking they have the right idea.

"Yes!" she says.

"To be honest, I'm surprised you guys didn't go straight home the minute you could," Marlene says. "I think I would have."

"It's a fine line," Christina says and I understand what she means. "I want to be with him all the time but I also don't want to lose myself and what I like to do."

"I think from now on when we eat with you guys, we'll have Fiona bring Liam down to meet us," Will says. "I agree with everything that Christina just said. I miss him when I'm at work, too."

"Well we better get going or we'll never get home tonight," Tobias says. We all get up from the table and head out into the Pit to go our separate ways. As we walk past the transfers' table, I notice their eyes are on us but they don't say anything.

"Can I take that?" Tobias asks pointing to the diaper bag when we're standing in the middle of the Pit saying our goodbyes to Zeke and Shauna.

"Why don't you take Tessa instead?" I ask. He smiles and lifts the sleeping infant out of my arms. "Thanks. I think my arms are numb."

"Where's her stroller?" he asks.

"Oh, it's at the daycare center," I say. I was in such a rush to get her to the infirmary that I forgot it. "I just carried her out of there without thinking."

"We better get going," Shauna says. "It's been a long day for the two of us. I think I just want to go home and go to bed."

"Thanks again for helping earlier, Zeke," I say placing a soft kiss on his cheek. "That was sweet of you." He blushes, which makes Tobias chuckle but he doesn't comment. We watch as they walk away then I look down at Tyler.

"Do you still want to look for ideas for your room?" I ask. He nods his head vigorously up and down. "Alright then. Let's go."

We walk up the path that leads to the furniture store and step inside. The amount of displayed furniture is overwhelming. We ask the clerk where the children's bedroom furniture is since nothing is in the same place it was the last time we were here, and he promptly leads us to the back of the store. After explaining that we're just looking tonight, he leaves us alone. Tobias and I watch Tyler as he aimlessly wanders through the crowded showroom, which has all styles of furniture and decor, his eyes getting bigger by the minute. A really cute wooden sign that says "No Girls Allowed" catches my eye, and I go to investigate. It's so cute and gives me an idea.

"Tyler, buddy, can I talk to you?" He comes running over to me, and I point out the sign. "That says 'No Girls Allowed.'" His lips unfurl into a wide smile. "Do you like that?" He nods vigorously up and down. "I know Mommy and Daddy told you that you can decorate your room however you want but I have an idea that I know you'll love, and I want it to be a surprise. Are you okay with that?" He stares up at me for a moment, a blank look on his face, and I hold my breath waiting for his answer.

Just as I'm about to tell him never mind, he smiles at me again and says, "Otay! Supwise!" I kneel down and give him a big hug and kiss his cheek.

Tobias, Tyler, and I browse the showroom picking out furniture for the rest of the apartment. We hadn't planned on buying anything but they offer to store it in their backroom until the apartment is cleaned, painted, and ready to go, which allows us to pick out everything we want. We even get ahead of ourselves and pick out a bedroom set for Tessa's room even though she won't use it for a couple years. Tobias and I splurge on a new bedroom set, which is more to scale for the new room. We both fall in love with it the moment we see it. I feel guilty at first for even looking until the salesman says they will take our existing bedroom set and resell it in their markdown section. I watch several workers putting sold tags on everything we got in preparation to store them as Tobias pays for the items. He inquires a few times about what we'll need for Tyler's room but all we buy is the wooden sign for his wall. I'll tell him all about it when we get home.

"We better be getting home," I say. "I know someone who needs to go to bed soon." Tyler gives me a "who me" look, and I can't help but chuckle. Tobias gently lies Tessa in my arms and picks Tyler up, and we head toward home. When we reach the Pire, Tessa's wide awake, and Tyler's eyes are drooping.

"I'll take him upstairs and get him ready for bed," Tobias says.

"I'm right behind you," I say. As he's helping Tyler get into his PJs, I change Tessa's diaper and put her in a pink and white striped onesie she can wear to bed. I stop by Tyler's room and help Tobias tuck him in then we go downstairs to talk.

"There's a few things I want to talk about. A couple of them I probably should have told you earlier and for that I'm sorry," I say, placing Tessa in her swing, which I moved over in front of the couch.

"What is it?" he asks cautiously.

"Firstly, I took Tessa to the infirmary, and Zander said her ears should look better than they do so he gave her a stronger antibiotic," I say as I sit down beside him. "He said to bring her back in two days if she still won't take a bottle. Also I don't think the daycare center will take her tomorrow unless she's in better spirits. Our baby girl was quite a handful today." I study his face for a minute but it doesn't betray how he's feeling. "Are you upset with me?" He shakes his head at me so I continue.

"Secondly, I need to talk to you about it Tyler." I tell him what I witnessed in the playroom at the daycare center, and this time he does look upset with me. He gets up off the couch and paces before me, running a hand through his hair.

"You should have told me about this as soon as you reached the net," he says.

"You're absolutely right, Tobias. I should have. I'm sorry."

"Do you have any idea why that boy said what he did?" he angrily asks.

"No," I say. "The theory is maybe he has a younger sibling, and he feels pushed aside because of his or her birth. I don't know."

"This really pisses me off," he fumes and I'm not entirely sure if it's me or the situation that has him this upset. I get up and stop his pacing by wrapping my arms around his waist, and he wraps his arms around me and sighs. "No wonder he's been acting up lately. I wish he would have come to us."

"I do, too," I say, resting my head on his chest, loving the feel of his arms around me. "I told him how much we both love him. I know he knows this but I think he just needed reassuring from time to time. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier."

"Hey, you already apologized," he says, lifting my chin and staring deeply into my eyes. "I understand that we were busy today. I love you."

"I love you, too." I want to talk to him about Olivia but maybe I'm just being paranoid.

"Is there something else you want to talk about?" he asks. I should have known he'd see my hesitation. He knows me so well.

"I don't like the way Olivia has been looking at you," I say. He seems taken aback by my statement.

"Who's Olivia?"

"A transfer."

"Which one?" he asks, looking like he's running through each girl in his mind. My brows raise in disbelief but his look is candid.

"The tall, pretty, red-haired girl from Candor," I say.

"The one who was wearing too much makeup?" he asks. He chuckles once but the look on my face stops him. "First of all, love, _you_ are the only woman who has ever turned my head. You know that. How was she looking at me?" I'm quiet for at least two minutes before I answer him.

"She was undressing you with her eyes on the way to the Pit and later in the cafeteria, she was looking at you hungrily, like _you_ were the main course," I say. The image of a butter knife sticking out of Edward's eye pops into my mind, and it suddenly seems like an intriguing idea. _Tris! Quit it!_

"You're worried that I'll look at another girl?" he asks.

"No, not at all," I say. "I know how much you love me. I trust you wholeheartedly. _Her_? No, I don't trust her one bit."

"Did you see how Grant, Jesse, Alec, Brody, _and_ Kevin looked at you?" he asks. It's my turn to be dumbfounded. _What's he talking about?_ "They kept checking you out. It infuriated me but I trust you."

" _If_ they were looking at me it's because they were worried I'd bring down the platform," I say as I run my hands over my bump. He sighs and rolls his eyes.

"You. Are. _Not_. Fat." He sounds upset with me. "You are beautiful in every way, and you're sexy as hell. When will you believe me? I wouldn't lie to you." He kisses the right side of my neck making me giggle.

"You're right. I'm sorry," I say. "You know, I shouldn't have even brought up how Olivia looked at you. I guess I'm feeling insecure at the moment."

"I miss your confidence," he quietly says. "I saw it today when we were with the transfers but I want to see it when it's just the two of us. You have nothing to feel doubtful for when it comes to how much I love you. And you don't have to be jealous. _She_ should be jealous." He runs the back of his fingers down my cheek and I melt.

"You always know the right thing to say to make me feel better," I say. He gives me a soft kiss then lets me go.

"So what's this surprise you have planned for Tyler?" he asks. I tell him my idea and am pleased when he loves it as much as I do.

"During a free minute tomorrow I'm going to call Gunner and see if he knows someone who can design the room exactly the way I want it to look," I say. "I'm also going to commission him to do some murals in the nursery and the playroom."

"I don't know if I've told you this before but my kids have the best mother in the world," he says lowering his mouth to mine. When his lips meet mine, desire sweeps through my body like a raging forest fire. He lets me go too soon and I sigh. "I want you, too, love, but not in front of Tessa."

"Later?" I ask, my voice full of desperation and hope.

"Later," he says caressing my cheek, his word a promise. "I'm going to check on Tyler and go over tomorrow's schedule."

"I'll pack the diaper bag then feed our daughter," I say looking at Tessa who is chewing on the little pink elephant with its pink and white flower ears and belly that Tobias got her when she was born. She loves it. "I'll be up as soon as I can."

"I'm looking forward to it," he says as he kisses my temple. I close my eyes and savor the feel of his soft lips and warm breath on me. He lets me go and heads upstairs. After I pack all the necessary items in the diaper bag for tomorrow I turn my attention to Tessa. I give her another dose of medicine, and she smacks her lips again.

"You really like that, huh? It must not be grape. So are you hungry, baby girl?" All signs point to yes and just as I'm getting ready to put her to my breast, I decide to try a bottle instead. I realize I'm the only one who's been able to feed her the past few days so maybe she'll take one from me. Won't hurt to try. "Will you take a bottle for Mommy?" She smiles around her fingers, which makes me smile. _I sure hope that's a yes._ I sit in the club chair with her tucked into my arm just so and put the bottle to her mouth but she won't open. I gently run the nipple along her bottom lip, and she finally opens for me but turns her head when I put the bottle in her mouth. "Why don't you want this all of a sudden?" We both start getting frustrated, me because she won't do what I really need her to do and her because I'm not giving her what she wants. It's a battle of wills at the moment. "Tessa Beatrice, Mommy _really_ needs you to take the bottle." I decide to try one last time before I give up and nurse her. I squeeze the flexible bottle and drip a little milk on her lips, and she opens her mouth. I put the nipple in her mouth and after just a little coaxing, she starts suckling, taking a bottle for the first time in over 48 hours. "Good girl. I guess I just needed to show you that there is milk in the bottle."

After she's had the entire bottle and burped twice, I take her upstairs. I change her wet diaper, kiss her forehead, and lie her in her crib. I watch as her little eyes flutter, and she falls into what will, hopefully, be a peaceful sleep. I stop by Tyler's room and give him a kiss before I search out Tobias. I'm in need of a little adult time. Just thinking about what I want to do to him sets my heart to racing and my blood to boiling.

When I enter the bedroom, he's sitting on his side of the bed looking at some paperwork, wearing nothing but a tiny pair of tight, dark gray boxer briefs. My mouth instantly goes dry at the sight in front of me. I watch from the doorway for a time plotting what I want to do next. I quietly close and lock the door and quickly strip out of my clothes but he still hasn't noticed my presence. I softly pad to the end of the bed and get up on the mattress. This finally captures his attention. His eyes widen, startled by my sudden appearance, and his pupils dilate nearly coal black when he takes in my naked body. I finish crawling up the bed and without saying a word take the papers out of his hand and put it on his nightstand. I kiss him hard on the mouth then take my time kissing, licking, and gently biting my way from his neck down his chest and steel-hard abs to his cotton-covered manhood. I tease him with my tongue through the fabric of his boxer briefs and feel powerful when he lengthens and hardens against my mouth.

"Baby, you're so hard for me," I say as I rub my hand over his bulge, staring suggestively up into his lust clouded eyes, and he gasps at my forwardness. I'm in the moment, and I want to be confident and sexy for my man. "You're going to feel so good in my mouth." I look him in the eye and slowly lick my lips. A deep almost feral growl escapes his throat. I grip the waistband of his boxer briefs, and he lifts his hips to help me. I slowly free his erection then slide them down his legs. I kiss the top of his right foot then run my tongue up and place soft kisses on his ankle. I take my hand and unhurriedly glide my fingertips up his other leg along the same path my tongue is taking. I pepper his shin, knee, and thigh with kisses before I reach his hip. I place a kiss just below his navel, and his whole body tenses waiting for my mouth to find its target.

He's always teasing me, so I think I'll make him wait just a little longer. I run the tip of my tongue from his abs down to his other thigh, placing targeted kisses everywhere and he groans. I finally decide to put him out of his misery and firmly grasp his shaft in my hand, gently pumping it up and down the way he likes. Our eyes are on each other's as I place soft kisses up and down his length. Finally, I dart my tongue out of my mouth and lick up and down his hardness.

"I like how you taste," I say as I stroke his manhood. His eyes widen then he closes them and exhales sharply when I engulf his head with my mouth. I repeatedly tease him with my tongue and lips before pushing him further into my mouth again and again, sucking hard as I do.

"Shit!" he exclaims. "God, Tris. You're so good." He puts his hands on either side of my head and starts lifting his hips in a steady rhythm, pushing himself deeper into my waiting mouth. I increase the pressure and speed of my hand and continue taking him in and out of my mouth until I feel him tense, and I know he's close. "Oh, damn, love! I'm gonna come." He shudders and spills himself into my mouth the moment his words escape. I swallow greedily until he finishes. I continue to lick and kiss around his softening manhood then release him and leisurely peck my way back up to his mouth. When his lips find mine, his kiss is aggressive and lustful. "You are an amazing woman."

"Baby, I can't believe how hard you are for me again," I huskily say, feeling his desire beneath me. I barely recognize my own voice it's so thick with desire. "I want you inside me, Tobias." I slowly rock myself back and forth against his hard length, and he groans. " _Now_." He moves us forward to the middle of the bed, and lifts me with one hand, holding me above his erection, which he places at my moist center with the other.

"I want you, too," he roughly says as he slowly lowers me onto his throbbing shaft until we're joined as one. He kisses me briefly then lies back. I still don't move, relishing the feeling of him deep inside me where I've longed for him to be. I open my eyes, not realizing they were closed and find him staring up at me with wonder on his face. I grasp both his hands with mine and lace our fingers together then I start to move, slowly at first, lifting myself over and over again. After a time, he releases my hands and runs them up my body to my swaying breasts, capturing them for his waiting mouth. I moan when he laps at my hardened nipples, feeling his touch between my thighs. I put my hands on his shoulders as I force myself back onto his length harder and faster as he lifts his hips in time with each of my strong thrusts. He puts his hand on my neck and draws my mouth to his and kisses me savagely as he increases the force of each of this thrusts. Soon I feel myself fall apart as he's pounding into me, and I cry out at the overwhelming sensation. He follows behind me with his own impressive release, my name on his lips. I collapse on top of him in sheer exhaustion, and he rolls us on our sides, pulling out of me immediately. We lie in each other's arms panting as we try to catch our breath. A rouge tear escapes down my cheek, and Tobias lifts my chin so I have to look at him. "What's wrong?"

"It's really nothing," I whisper.

"Tell me," he insists then adds gently, "Please."

"I love you," I say.

"I love you, too," he says, hugging me to him. I wrap my arms around him and rest my head against his chest, listening to the slowing beat of his rhythmic heart. "Is that it?"

"My emotions get the best of me sometimes," I say, running my fingers lightly up and down his hairless, muscular chest. I have a lot to say to him but I'm not sure I'll be able to get it all out. "Happy anniversary. I'm glad that I chose Dauntless. I'm glad you were waiting for me. Today has brought back so many memories that it's been overwhelming." He lifts my chin so that I have to look at him. "I love you so much that sometimes it chokes me." He smiles at me then lowers his lips to mine and kisses me tenderly, lovingly.

"Happy anniversary, love," he says against my lips. He leans back and stares down at me. "I'm so lucky that you came along. I can't believe the life I was preparing to live until you jumped into that net. You saved me. You are everything to me." He kisses me again slowly, thoroughly. "As much as I'd like to make love to you again right now, we have a very early morning. We should get some sleep."

"I know," I say, unable to hide my disappointment. He's being logical, and I'm being emotional. My eyes drop as another tear escapes and he groans.

"Screw it! We'll just be tired tomorrow," he says as he moves his mouth back to mine in a fiery kiss.


	25. Chapter 25

Tessa's crying through the baby monitor wakes me with a start at a little before 4 a.m. I roll out of bed and trudge half-awake to her room. I carry her downstairs so that I can give her another bottle. I don't want to chance her not taking one at daycare. She's done remarkably well, sleeping over five hours. The stronger antibiotics must be working. My thoughts drift to last night while I'm feeding Tessa, who takes the bottle much easier this time.

Tobias and I celebrated our anniversary until well after midnight, and my mind keeps wandering to all the delicious memories we made. We made love two more times even though we both knew that we had to get up early this morning. He wanted to be responsible and call it a night after the first time but my irrational mood swing prompted him to give me my way and then we couldn't stop. I smile as I remember the feel of his mouth on my body and what he was doing with his hands. A shiver goes down my spine and I try to move my mind onto something else.

Even though yesterday went well, with the exception of my irrational jealousy, I'm still nervous about what today holds. During the first half of our day, Tobias and I are going to demonstrate the correct way to use a handgun then let them practice until lunch breaks for an hour at 12:30. After lunch we head back to the training room where we will begin hand-to-hand training. Once Tobias has shown the transfers a variety of kicks and punches, they'll be turned loose on the punching bags. This is what our entire week looks like with the exception of the first practice fights Thursday afternoon and a trip to the fence on Sunday. I imagine by then Tobias and I will need a break.

"There you are," he says from the stairs. "I thought you'd be in her room nursing. A bottle? Is everything okay?"

"I want to make sure she'll take a bottle at daycare," I say. "I'll probably pump before I come back to bed. I'm feeling full."

"I could help you with that," he says, his eyes sparkling.

"You did earlier, dirty boy," I say and he gives me a devilish grin. "Go back to bed, baby. One of us should be conscious for training today."

"Alright. I won't argue," he says. Before he turns to go upstairs he comes over to me and kisses my head then Tessa's. "I love you, Pebbles. I love you, Tris."

"We love you, too, Tobias," I say as I watch him go back to bed. "You're lucky to have him as your daddy, Tessa. He's a very good man who loves you, Tyler, Teagan, and Mommy more than anything. You might already know this, little one, but he will do anything for you." Her tired eyes smile at me while I talk to her about her daddy. When she finishes, I put her in the bassinet then pump to relieve the pressure in my chest and put the bags of milk in the freezer after putting today's date on them. I pick up Tessa, look at the clock, and realize that if I can manage to fall asleep, I can get almost an hours rest before the alarm goes off.

One hour later the alarm is getting ready to go off but I switch it off hoping to give Tobias a couple more minutes of sleep. I take a quick shower, style my hair, which still has remnants of the pink chalk in it, and get dressed in a black tank top, black maternity yoga pants, and black running shoes. I crawl up on the bed and kiss Tobias' neck and he moans.

"Good morning, sleepyhead," I whisper in his ear. "Time for a shower." Hands grip the back of my head and pull me toward him for a scorching kiss. When I break free, I'm breathless. He opens his eyes and smiles at me until he sees I'm dressed then he frowns.

"You're dressed," he says. "I thought you said it was time for a shower?"

"Not _with_ me, silly," I say pressing my lips to his once again. If I'm not careful I'll strip out of these clothes and join him. "I'll get Tyler up so he can take a bath. Tessa's still sleeping. I let you sleep as long as I could. It's 6:30. You've got to get up." He groans then rolls out of bed, and my eyes follow his naked body everywhere. He casually walks to the dresser to retrieve boxer briefs and socks then unhurriedly heads to the closet for a black t-shirt and black boxing pants. I get up off the bed and follow him into the bathroom. "I know what you're doing." He gives me a sweet, innocent look like he doesn't know what I'm talking about. "If I was a weaker woman, you'd be on the floor right now."

"Really?" he asks, his gravelly voice betraying his arousal.

"Really," I say pressing myself up against him and dragging his mouth to mine. He groans when I pull away and head to the door.

"Aren't you going to help me with this?" he asks pointing at his erection. I look from his eyes to focus on his spectacular manhood and wet my suddenly dry lips.

"Sorry, baby," I say. "Not enough time." I hear him growl as I walk out the door.

"You're a tease, Tris Eaton," he calls after me causing me to chuckle. I walk into Tyler's room and find him fast asleep.

"Hey, buddy," I say as I rub small circles on his back in an effort to wake him. "Time to get up, Tyler." He rolls over and opens his eyes and then quickly shuts them again. "Come on sleepyhead. You're just like your daddy, not wanting to get out of bed."

"I like Daddy?" he asks, his eyes still closed.

"Yes, you are just like your father," I say, kissing his forehead. He finally opens his eyes and smiles at me. "Good morning, sweetheart. Do you want Mommy and Daddy to make breakfast here or do you want to go to the cafeteria before we take you to daycare?" He thinks for a while.

"I's want bluebewwy pancakes," he says. I scan the fridge in my mind, and I'm pretty sure we have fresh blueberries.

"That sounds like a mighty fine choice, sir," I say, causing him to giggle. "Do you want to help me pick out an outfit for you?" He bobs his head up and down, and we go to his dresser. He picks out a black pair of shorts and a black and white pinstripe t-shirt. "This is nice. Let's go get you a bath." I knock on the closed bathroom door, and Tobias tells us to come in. He's standing at the sink shaving with a towel slung low around his hips.

"Daddy, I take bath," he say. "I's want bluebewwy pancakes."

"Blueberry pancakes, huh?" he says. "That sound like a good choice." Tyler and I both start laughing.

"That what Mommy say, too," he says.

"Great minds," I say with a shrug. Tobias leans over and first gives me and then Tyler a kiss getting shaving cream on our faces. Tyler giggles like a little mad man, and I grumble a bit but end up laughing, too.

After Tyler's bath, I help him get dressed then I send him downstairs while I check on Tessa. She's bright eyed and all smiles this morning. I change her diaper and put her in a black onesie that says Daddy's Girl on the front in pink crystals and a pink tulle tutu. I put twin little ponytails on the top of her head with little pink tulle Velcro bows that match the skirt. I give her kisses all the way down the stairs until she laughs at me.

"Do you think Mommy's kisses are funny, little one?" I ask her as I step into the living room. She just continues laughing at me.

"Someone's in a good mood," Tobias says.

"That Tess, Daddy," Tyler says, looking worried that he didn't know who was laughing.

"I know, buddy," he says, kissing the top of his head.

"You sure are being silly today," I say. "Are you hungry?" I stick my knuckle in her mouth but she turns her head away. I dig the antibiotic out of the diaper bag and give her the prescribed amount. She takes it right down then smiles at me. I put her in the swing, which Tobias brought into the kitchen so I can eat. After a wonderful breakfast of blueberry pancakes, bacon, and tall glasses of milk all around, we head to the Pit. Tobias proudly carries Tessa since I accidentally left her stroller at the daycare center yesterday but even if we had it I think he would have carried her so everyone can see her onesie. He hasn't stopped smiling since he realized what I put her in.

"Good morning, Mrs. Wheeler," I say. Her smile is friendly even though she's eyeing Tessa. "Tessa's last two feedings were from a bottle. I dripped some milk on her lips and waited for her to lick it off then she took the bottle. She last ate at 4 a.m. and when I checked her before we left, she wasn't hungry yet. I'll check her on my lunch break, which is from 12:30 – 1:30. Don't hesitate to call or text if you need anything though."

"Mrs. Wheeler, I'm disturbed by what my wife witnessed here yesterday between Tyler and Bobby Ridinger," Tobias says. "I know he's just a child a little older than Tyler but I will not tolerate this kind of behavior around my children. Has he been dealt with?"

"Yes, Four," she says. "I spoke to him yesterday, and he understands that what he said to Tyler was wrong. Like I told Tris, he apologized to Tyler without being told to. I will keep my eye on both of them to make sure this kind of situation does not happen again. I told Bobby that if he acted up, I would call his parents, and I could tell he didn't want that."

"Thank you," he says. "Tris and I want to be kept apprised of the situation."

"Yes, sir," she says. Tobias hands Tessa off to Mrs. Wheeler after we say our goodbyes, and I see Tyler is already playing peacefully with Zane. We stop by the commissary to get me a big bottle of apple juice after we leave the daycare center, then we wait in the training room with Uriah and Christina for the initiates.

"Hey, I meant to ask you, did you go over initiation rules with them yesterday?" I ask.

"No, I saved it for this morning. I wanted to get to supper," he says.

"That's if we have any initiates to train," Christina says. I look at the clock, and it's two minutes till 8 a.m., and there isn't a single transfer or Dauntless-born in sight. "We didn't give ours the rules yet either. How about we give them together?" We agree. When the clock strikes 8 a.m., Avery walks in the room looking pissed off and extremely tired followed by what looks like the remaining initiates. By the time they are all in place before us, it is 8:05 a.m., and Tobias is seething. He paces in front of the still half asleep 16-year-olds like a caged panther, running a hand through his hair.

"What time were you told to be here?" he quietly asks Olivia, who was the last one to enter the room, in his intimidating Four voice.

Her voice is small when she says, "8 a.m."

"Then why is it that you walked in here at 8:05?" He stares down at her, and I physically see her pale.

When he sees that he's not going to get an answer he says, "The rules are simple here. If you follow them, we won't have a problem. Rule number one is training is from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. every day here in the training room with a one hour lunchbreak from 12:30 to 1:30 unless you are told otherwise. Not 8:01 or 8:05, _8:00_ a.m. If this rule is broken again, _anyone_ in violation will become factionless. Like I said ... simple."

"Rule number two is you are free to do what you please in the compound between 6 p.m. and 10 p.m.," Uriah says. "You must be in the dorm by the 10 p.m. curfew and lights out is at 11 p.m."

"Rule number three states you cannot leave the compound for any reason unless you are accompanied by an active Dauntless member," Christina says. "This, too, is cause for immediate expulsion." Guilt rears her ugly head. Technically, I should be factionless but Tobias took pity on me. I glance his way, and he's looking at me with knowing eyes.

"We here at Dauntless believe that preparation eliminates cowardice, which we define as the failure to act in the midst of fear. Therefore, your initiation is broken down into three stages, which are meant to each prepare you differently; the first stage is physical while the second is emotional and the third is mental. There will be breaks between each stage of training for rest and relaxation. Believe me, you'll need it," I say. "Each stage weighs differently so it is possible, although extremely difficult, to improve your ranking. Stage two is given more weight than stage one, and stage three is given the most consideration in your final ranking."

"There's a possibility that you've heard rumors of cuts after each stage," Tobias says, still pacing before them. "That is not true. There will be no intentional cuts; however, if you are overly reckless or found not to have what we're looking for here in Dauntless, you can and will be made factionless."

"For the next four weeks, transfers and Dauntless-born will be trained separately," Uriah says, "but you will be ranked together." Afton looks around then raises her hand. Tobias, Uriah, Christina, and I look at each other. I've never seen an initiate, especially a Dauntless-born raise their hand for permission to speak.

"What do you need, Afton?" Christina asks.

"Why are we ranked if there are no cuts?" she asks.

"Your ranking will determine what order you choose your job," I say. "There are only a select amount of desirable jobs. Most of you will guard the fence." I see fear on the Dauntless-born's faces when I mention guarding the fence. No one _wants_ to guard the fence.

"Dauntless-born, follow Uriah and me," Christina says. "We will work on fight training in the mornings and weapon training in the afternoons." I watch as they walk toward the other end of the room then turn my attention back to our group of misfits. One good thing about this morning, Olivia is no longer mooning over Tobias.

"Transfers, you will learn two things today," Tobias says. "The first is how to fire a handgun, and the second is basic moves for hand-to-hand combat. By the time stage one is finished you will be proficient in both." After handing the guns out, we line the transfers up in front of the targets. Tobias loads a weapon and presses it into my palm just like he did that first day but instead of trepidation, I feel the familiar surge of power run through my body. I walk to the center target so everyone can see me.

"Watch me," I say. I stand with my feet shoulder length apart and raise the gun, holding it in both hands exactly the way Tobias taught me. I squeeze the trigger hitting the plywood target dead center. I then walk back to Tobias so we can observe. He takes my gun so he can unload it, and we realize no one is firing.

"What are you waiting for?" I ask. I motion toward the wall. "Practice." Soon the deafening sound of gunfire fills the training room. Tobias and I stand back and watch as they fire aimlessly at first but soon they're hitting the target but not on center. I've had to excuse myself twice to use the bathroom. I think Peanut is scared of the noise because she's cowering somewhere near the vicinity of my bladder, using it as a shield. She worried me at first when she abruptly stopped moving around when the first burst of gunfire rang out in the room but soon she got used to it and is moving again.

"Hey, Four," I whisper. He glances down at me, his expression softening as he gazes into my eyes. "Was I this bad at first?" A hint of a grin plays at the edges of his lips.

"You were worse," he quietly says. I can hear the humor in his hard voice but if anyone else was able to hear our hushed conversation, they wouldn't notice. I take a step closer to him and elbow him in the ribs, and he flashes a grin at me before his Four mask once again transforms his face.

"I've got to pee," I say matter-of-factly, running both my hands over my tummy. He frowns, although I don't know if it's at my directness or the fact that I have to leave … again. "I don't think Peanut likes all the noise of the gunfire because she's hiding by my bladder."

"Hurry back," he says with a chuckle. He automatically leans in then freezes, and we both realize he was just about to kiss me in front of the initiates, not that they are paying any attention to us but it wouldn't be very professional. He stands straighter and gives an apologetic shrug. This is going to be a tough nine weeks. As I'm hurrying toward the bathroom, I see Olivia watching Tobias pace. She must have gotten over her earlier embarrassment. I sigh and shake my head and remind myself that she's not a threat to my marriage, just a silly girl who finds my husband attractive.

The morning flies by in a flurry of gunfire as Tobias and I evaluate how the 12 are doing. First, we split up and assess each transfer individually, and then we get together and quietly talk about how we think each one is doing. Our two factionless transfers, Brody and Faith, are surprisingly proficient with a weapon. They were the first two to find the center of the targets, which I praised, earning a smile from each. Brody's quiet determination puts me on edge, and I'm not sure why. He hasn't done anything to be construed as reckless. Maybe I'm just reacting to how he was raised or maybe his looks. The only word I can come up with is burly. Faith is more reserved than the other girls and only talks with Brody, although I don't think the relationship is a romantic one. They seem more like brother and sister and even resemble one another. They both have wavy dark chestnut-colored hair and chocolate colored eyes but Brody towers over Faith, and she's not short by any means.

Our Erudite transfers, Alec, Kevin, and Zoey, are a mishmash of contradictions. I think back to last year, remembering how Myra was the exact opposite of Will and Edward. That's the same dynamic between these three. Zoey is petite with a small frame and a pale yet pretty face framed by a slick black bob, which sets off her sky blue eyes while Kevin and Alec are both tall with average builds. Alec reminds me of his father with his matching dark brown hair and eyes but Kevin is almost the complete opposite with his pale blonde hair and light blue eyes. While the guys have no problem with the weapons, Zoey is having a difficult time handling the gun's recoil much like I did last year but she's slowly getting the hang of it.

Our lone Amity transfer, Sadie, reminds me of someone but for the life of me I can't think of who. Everything about her from her light brown hair and light blue eyes to her friendly smile and pleasant attitude screams average but I see an underlying determination that she either keeps hidden or doesn't know exists. She's been slow to hit the target but she isn't having the hardest time.

Lastly, there's our half dozen Candor transfers, Grant, Jesse, Sam, Ana, Bethany, and of course Olivia. Jesse reminds me a lot of Zeke with his dark skin, black hair cut close to the scalp, and short, stocky build but he doesn't have the light in his brown eyes that Zeke does. There's a certain sadness to him that's obvious he's desperately trying to hide. He struggled hitting the target at first because his stance was off but I corrected it, and he's done well since. Sam, Ana, and Bethany are right in the middle of the pack. As a matter of fact, I keep mixing them up, which makes me feel bad. I don't know why I do it either. It's not that they look or even act alike. Sam is tough and takes no shit from the other initiates. She kind of reminds me of Lynn, except she has coffee colored skin, green eyes, and long brown hair that she wears in a single braid down her back. Ana is the very definition of sweet and it makes me wonder if she got Dauntless on her aptitude test or if this is her safe haven. If she would have joined a year ago, Eric would have targeted her in a minute flat. She's petite with a long curly main of dark auburn hair and dark blue eyes. She's rather pretty. Bethany is shy but eager to learn. She reminds me a bit of myself. She carefully studied the gun when it was placed in her hand and made each move with precision before taking her first shot. Of course, she didn't hit the target but no one does at first. She doesn't look like me though. She's tall and statuesque with chin-length blonde hair and hazel eyes. All three of them are doing well but could be doing better. Olivia is our worst shooter by far. I can count on one hand the amount of times she's hit the first target in nearly four hours. All the other initiates have moved on to their second and third targets. Grant, who is very gifted with a weapon – he's only behind Brody and Faith in accuracy – keeps trying to give her pointers but she doesn't want to hear it.

"Four, I don't think I'm ever going to get this," Olivia pouts. "What am I doing wrong?" _You're not trying hard enough._

"Fire a couple times," he orders. She looks absolutely giddy that he's paying her attention. She turns her back to us, and I watch her carefully as she takes aim and fires.

"Tris," he says. "What's your assessment?"

"Olivia, your feet need to be shoulder width apart," I say, moving up beside her. Her smile fades as I take the correct stance. "Secondly, you need some tension in your arms when you hold the gun." I take her gun and hold it out in front of me demonstrating the correct hold. "See my arms are not relaxed but they aren't so stiff I won't have control. Thirdly, you need to squeeze the trigger. I'm not sure what to call what you were doing." I gently squeeze the trigger and hit the center of her target, the only one to come close. "Any more questions. It's not that difficult. You'll improve with time and practice."

"No, Tris," she says. As I turn away from her after giving her the gun back, I see a scowl cross her face for a split second. _Oh, Olivia. You may not like me but the feeling is completely mutual._

"Nice, love," Tobias whispers. I look at the clock and see that it's nearly time for lunch. I motion at the time and he nods. "Okay, it's almost time for lunch. Put your weapons on the table and you can go. Remember to be back here at 1:30 sharp. If you're a minute late, you'll be escorted off the property." They all scurry to the table to drop off their guns then quickly head out the door. "Why don't you help me reload these and put them away then we'll check on Tyler and Tessa."

"Okay," I say. We quickly reload each weapon then secure them for lunch.

"How do you think this morning went?" I ask as we walk to the daycare center.

"About as expected," he says. "Some really surprised me and others performed as expected. What are your thoughts?"

"I agree with you," I say. "Do you think Olivia will try harder from now on? She obviously just wanted your attention." He sighs and I think he's going to lecture me but I'm wrong.

"I see your point," he says. "She's been staring. A lot."

"I know," I grumble. "I'm trying not to be jealous but she's annoying me." He holds the door open for me, and we're greeted by Mrs. Wheeler.

"Hello, Four, Tris," she says. "Everything is great with the kids. Tessa just had her second bottle of the day and I personally gave her the dose of medication. Tyler has been playing well with Zane and Elliott all morning. He's in the other room eating if you would like to see him."

"If they're being good maybe we shouldn't disturb them," I say.

"Okay," he says. "Thank you for the update. We'll be here to pick them up between 6:15 and 6:30. If you need us, call."

"I will," she says. We leave the daycare center and head across the Pit floor. Right before we enter the cafeteria, Tobias pulls me into a dark corner, pushes me up against the wall, and surprises me with a very passionate kiss. He pulls away leaving me dazed and breathless then gently presses his lips to my forehead. I place my hands on his waist and hold myself against him.

"I've wanted to do that all morning," he roughly says. "I'll never admit it to them but Christina and Uriah might be right. I didn't know it would be this difficult to keep my hands off you. If I wasn't so hungry and you didn't need to eat, I'd find a closet or something and we'd have a little fun."

"What I wouldn't give if my stomach wasn't growling right now," I giggle. Right on cue my stomach rumbles loudly.

"You weren't kidding," he says giving me another soft kiss. "Come on, love. Let's get you fed."


	26. Chapter 26

Tobias and I return to the training room to wait for the initiates after a quick lunch of thin crust pepperoni pizza and garden salad with Italian dressing. It's the first time they served pizza in the cafeteria, and it was a big hit. Tobias stuck his head in the kitchen on our way out and told the chefs it was a good call and that he looks forward to seeing it on the menu again in the near future. I suggested that maybe it needs to be a daily staple like cake. We'll see what happens.

I decide to call Gunner, seeing that we still have several minutes until the lunchbreak is over. I ask about Tyler's room and the murals, and he is happy to take the job, which he can start on right away. All he needs is the measurements of Tyler's room, which Tobias promises to look up when we get home, and he will start on sketches of what he envisions for the furniture. He's going to let me know when they're finished so Tobias and I can look them over. Once we okay the plans, he'll build the furniture, install it, and do any necessary painting after it's in the room. When Tyler's room is done, he'll start the nursery and playroom murals I've yet to decide on. I've also thought about having him do something in our bedroom but I haven't thought of a good design yet.

The misfits slowly trickle into the training room, making sure they all arrive before the 1:30 p.m. deadline, ensuring they remain in Dauntless. They obviously heeded Tobias' warning. We lead them to the opposite end of the massive room and stand in front of the faded black punching bags. The initiates are quietly talking amongst themselves, and I notice they seem to be sticking with old faction lines, which surprises me somewhat. My group of friends was made up of various factions almost from the time we jumped but maybe that isn't the norm.

"Listen up," Tobias hollers when it's time to start. The misfits quiet down immediately. "As we told you this morning, this afternoon you will learn to fight. We teach you these skills so you will be prepared to act. Like the second phase of training will prepare your mind to think clearly in the midst of fear, fight training will prepare your body to respond to physical threats and challenges like it's second nature. You will need these skills to help protect our city and those who live in it."

"Four and I will go over some basic punches and kicks with you today and tomorrow. Thursday will be your first scored practice fight against an opponent," I say. "I recommend that you pay close attention to what we show you. Those of you who aren't quick learners can easily get hurt."

"There are four basic punches: Jab, straight, uppercut, and hook," Tobias says, demonstrating the correct way to deliver each punch in the air as he says its name then I demonstrate it on the punching bag.

"Should you be doing that, Tris?" Ana asks. "In your condition, I mean." I turn and look at her, and she shrinks back, eyes wide. I didn't know I was giving her a hard look.

"Thank you for your concern, Ana, but I'm more than capable of demonstrating the punches," I say. I do appreciate her concern but I don't want to appear weak in front of them. They'll never respect me.

"I'm sorry," she says.

"The standard techniques for kicks are the front, roundhouse, and sidekicks," Tobias says. Once again we consecutively demonstrate the kicks, me in the air this time and Tobias on the bags. "Another powerful tool in your arsenal is your knees and elbows. There are three basic knee strikes: The front, side, and jumping. The two standard techniques in elbow strikes are front and downward."

"Tomorrow we'll go over some common combinations that are useful, and we'll talk about defense," I say. "For the remainder of the day you will be practicing on the punching bags. Each one of you grab a bag and get to it. We'll call for water breaks periodically." I watch as they line up in front of the bags and tentatively start practicing what they saw us do. After they've been working for a couple hours, Tobias and I wander through the initiates evaluating how each one is doing, giving useful advice where needed.

"How do you think they're doing?" he asks.

"Remarkably well," I respond. "I see a lot of natural talent, especially with the guys but Bethany and Faith are almost as good as them with technique. Zoey's going to have problems with the fights. Her body reminds me of when I got here. That's why I told her to work on the knee and elbow strikes since they have more power behind them."

"I gave her the same advice," he says. "I told you that you're a natural." I beam under his praise. He mouths I love you, which I mouth right back. A sudden break in the rapid gunfire at the far end of the room catches our attention, and we turn to see what's going on. Although it's unclear of exactly what's happening, whatever it is isn't good. Tobias looks back at the misfits who are focused on the Dauntless-born as well. "Everyone get back to work. Anyone not practicing must feel they're ready for their first match." They all immediately start throwing punches. We walk along the wall in the dim light to investigate the problem. When we get closer, I freeze. It seems Murphy is on a tirade about Galen. It wouldn't be such a big deal but she has her right hand wrapped tightly around the grip of a gun. The Dauntless-born have split in two and moved away from her. Uriah is trying to talk some sense into her but I see fear in his eyes. He has positioned himself between Murphy and Christina.

"Murphy, you need to put the gun on the floor before you hurt someone," he says. "We know you're hurting. Christina didn't mean to insult you." Murphy exasperatedly runs both hands through her hair, seemingly unaware that a very dangerous weapon is near her head.

"You stay right here, Tris," Tobias says. Panic races through my body localizing in my painfully racing heart. I grab a hold of his hand, and he stares deeply into my eyes. "I need you to take care of our little Peanut. I need to help Uriah diffuse this situation. I'd really like it if you would go back to the transfers but I know you won't so _please_ don't move from this spot." His lips land on mine in an aggressive, apprehensive kiss, then they're gone.

I stand frozen in place watching as Tobias silently pads across the wooden floor sneaking up behind Murphy, praying it doesn't take this moment to groan in protest. She's so engulfed in her own despair that she doesn't see him coming. He quickly wraps his arms around her, trapping her left arm with his but she moves the right one at the last second, and she starts waving the gun around. He struggles with her to gain control of the weapon. I thought it would be easy for him to overtake her but I was wrong, she's a lot stronger than she looks. I glance behind me and see the misfits all standing and staring at the scene unfolding in front of them. I remind myself it's only natural to be curious and turn my attention back to Tobias who's still struggling to get the gun away from Murphy. It seems like this has been going on hours but in truth it's only been seconds. Then a shot rings out, causing everyone to take cover. The bullet ricochets off the stone roof into one of the targets, a one in a million shot. Finally, Tobias obtains control of the gun, and Murphy falls to the floor crying uncontrollably. I let out the breath I'm holding and draw another into my aching lungs as I will my legs to move. They finally do what I want and carry me forward until I'm standing with Tobias, Uriah, and Christina. I watch as Tobias takes his phone out of his pocket and dials Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo.

"Simon, I need you and Tony to come to the training room, target side," he says. "We have an initiate who needs to be taken to the infirmary. Thanks." He hangs up and immediately dials another number, which I don't catch. "Zander, it's Four. Murphy just had a complete breakdown. I'm having Simon and Tony bring her to you. She could be suicidal. I just had to wrestle a gun away from her." He listens for a moment then I see his eyes scan the Dauntless-born. "She's fine. They all are. A little shaken but no injuries. Keep me informed of her condition. I know she technically isn't my initiate but I'm taking responsibility for her right now. Thanks."

"I'm sorry," Murphy says through her tears. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She mumbles the platitude over and over and over.

"Tris, the transfers seem to have stopped practicing," he says. "Will you take care of that?" I know I should do my job without question but right now I'm a wife worried about her husband not an instructor concerned about her partner or initiation for that matter. "Guys, can you excuse us for a moment?" He puts his hand on the small of my back and leads me out into the hallway. "I need you to snap out of…" I don't let him finish his sentence. I lunge myself at him, pinning him against the wall and draw his mouth to mine. I kiss him ferociously until I feel his arms snake around my waist. He slowly takes his lips away and wipes the lone tear away with his thumb.

"I'm sorry, Four. I was scared," I say.

"I'm sorry for ordering you around, love," he says. "I should have realized how you would feel after that."

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"Yeah, a bit shaken up," he says. "Will you take care of the transfers while I accompany Murphy to the infirmary?"

"Of course," I say, feeling much better. He gives me another slow, tender kiss.

"I love you, Six," he whispers right before he lets me go, using his special nickname for me to make me feel better.

"I love you, Four," I say.

"You two are sickeningly sweet, you know that right?" Christina says as she comes out into the hallway. "It's nearly 5:00, let's call it a day. I feel responsible for her break. I think I need to go to the infirmary with her."

"What did you say to her?" I ask.

"I told her to get her head out of Candor and onto the task at hand. I didn't know she was going to go all mental on me," she says, sounding disgusted. "She could have hurt someone."

"You come with me. Uriah and Tris can finish up with the initiates," he says.

"Okay," Christina and I both say at the same time. We go back into the training room and split up. I head back to my initiates, my mind on what's going on behind me.

"Get back to work," I say, my voice low but steady and strong. They hesitate until I give them an irritated look, which I don't have to fake. I just watched the love of my life wrestle a disturbed young girl for a gun. I'm not in the mood to deal with these misfits right now. They step back to their bags and continue practicing. I look over my shoulder and see Tobias and Christina exiting the room behind Murphy who is being escorted by Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo.

The sound of gunfire soon fills the air once again, oddly relieving the anxiety flowing through my body. I wind amongst the transfers seeing if anyone has made any progress this afternoon. The guys all seem to be equal in their talent so matching them up for bouts will be easy. The girls on the other hand are a different story. I can almost guarantee that Zoey will be paired with Olivia who towers over her but they are the two weakest fighters. Zoey has great technique but she's very small and Olivia must be afraid of breaking a nail. She needs to pick it up or she might find herself out on her ass. Sadie has definitely shown the most improvement this afternoon. She can now easily fight one of the other girls and not get hurt, well except for maybe Faith. She might be able to go against Alec, and truth be told, I'm not sure who would win.

I glance at the clock on the wall and see that it's already 5:58. Two minutes until I can let them go for the evening. This was always my favorite part of the day. I remember that one year ago tonight Christina played dress up with me and lined my eyes for the first time then I got my raven tattoos, which I absentmindedly touch. It was a good night. I sense the transfers know that it's quitting time but none of them stop punching and kicking the bags, which is good. Tobias put the fear of God in them or should I say the fear of Four. I notice their hands are all red from the exertion, except for Olivia and I sigh. _What are we going to do with her?_

"It's 6:00," I say. "You're free for the evening. Just a reminder. You all need to be in the dorms by 10 p.m., and you need to be back here by 8 a.m. sharp. Everyone have a good night." I stop to pick up a couple of towels that didn't make the laundry hamper when I sense someone behind me. "Can I help you?" I turn around to find Tobias standing there.

"I was wanting to know if the most beautiful woman in Dauntless would consent to having dinner with me tonight."

"Just Dauntless?" I say with a fake pout.

"The whole world," he says as he glides the back of his fingers down the side of my face.

"What if I say no?" I tease.

"I have ways to change your mind," she says. "I could seduce you."

"Mr. Eaton, you could try," I say. He slowly lowers his lips to mine and kisses me passionately, our tongues tangling the entire time. We kiss until neither of us can breathe. "You drive a hard bargain, husband of mine. If you promise to throw in some sex, I'll consider your offer."

"Sex and a home-cooked meal, not necessarily in that order." He rubs his chin thoughtfully, pretending to make a decision. "You have a deal, Mrs. Eaton," he says, causing me to blush and shake my head. He takes my hand and leads us toward the Pit. "How about spaghetti and meatballs, salad, and garlic bread? Does that sound good?"

"It sounds wonderful but I think we need to stop by the commissary and pick up the ingredients," I say. "How's Murphy?"

"Zander sedated her," he says. "I don't know what to do, Tris. She had her life planned out, and it's been turned upside down and for that I feel bad for her. Part of me wants to give her a second chance, annoying as she is but the bigger part of me wants to walk her to the Pire myself and say, 'Here's the door; don't let it hit you on the way out. You've been reckless not only with your life but the lives of others.' What do you think?"

"Wow," I say, at a loss for words. "I keep seeing you struggle to get the gun away from her. She could have killed you or someone else. It's a miracle the bullet went into the target. I don't know which way I would vote."

"I thought for sure you would fight to make sure she stays," he says. "Christina did but she feels guilty for goading her. I told her not to, that she was only doing her job but she has a bigger heart than she lets on."

"I know," I say. He picks up a basket, and we put all the ingredients we need for supper in it as we wander the aisles. "Is Zander bringing in a specialist?"

"Yeah, he is," he says. "Look! They have chocolate chip cheesecake. Do you want one?" I laugh.

"I swear that Peanut just did a somersault, cartwheel, and jumping jacks at the mention of cheesecake," I say, running a hand over my tummy.

"I'll take that as a yes," he says as he puts the box in the basket. "Do we need milk?" I think about it and nod. We walk to the dairy counter, and he picks up a gallon of 2% milk, and when he thinks I'm not looking, he picks up a can of aerosolized whipped cream."

"What's with the whipped cream," I ask, my thoughts automatically going to ice cream sundaes, which sound really good. I'm starving.

He puts his lips against my ear and quietly says, "This is for the sex tonight," then he places a kiss on my stunned, parted lips. "Come on, love." Once I find my equilibrium again, I let him lead me to the checkout. Suddenly I can't wait for this evening to be over so I can play with my husband. I drop his hand and tell him I'll be right back. I quickly get a bottle of squeezable honey, a small jar of strawberry sauce, and a large bottle of chocolate syrup. When I return with the additional purchases, Tobias' eyes light up and I blush. He carries our bags to the daycare to pick up the kids while I daydream about tonight.

"Mommy!" Tyler screams when he sees us. It's a good thing Tobias isn't the jealous type. I squat down, and he runs into my outstretched arms. I hug him tight and kiss his cheek.

"Did you have a good day, buddy?" I ask.

"I did," he says, his eyes bright. "I played with Zane and Elliott. I taked nap cause I was sleepy. Didn't like Mia though."

"Why didn't you like Mia?" I ask.

He puts his lips up close to my ear and whispers, "She twied to kiss me. I no like kissing."

"Why do you think she did that?" I ask, trying desperately not to laugh.

"I don't know," he says so seriously.

"You better say hi to Daddy," I say, letting him go. He runs to Tobias who scoops him up. I see a bit of worry on his face thinking maybe he had another bad day. "Tell Daddy what Mia did." He gets close to his father's ear, and I see him whisper. Tobias tries not to laugh but lets out a little chuckle anyway.

"Not funny, Daddy," Tyler pouts.

"I'm sorry, buddy," he contritely says. "You're right. It's not funny."

"Where's my baby?" I ask.

"In you tummy," Tyler says, earnestly.

"I meant Tessa," I say, peppering his face with kisses.

"I'm sorry Four, Tris," Mrs. Wheeler says as she walks down the hallway toward us. "I was just finishing up Tessa's bottle. I changed her diaper, too." I reach out and take my little one into my arms, and she smiles at me.

"Are you a happy baby today? Mommy sure is glad to hear that. Thank you, Mrs. Wheeler."

"It's my pleasure," she says. "I'll see you tomorrow, Tyler. You all have a good night." We say our goodbyes and walk to the path.

"We not going to eat?" Tyler asks.

"We're having spaghetti and meatballs at home," I say. I feel eyes on us as we pass the tattoo parlor. I turn and see Olivia, Grant, and Jesse intently watching us. Momentarily, I think back to last year and picture Molly, Peter, and Drew. _Where did that image come from?_ Peter is dead, and Molly and Drew are factionless; none of them can hurt me ever again. I tear my eyes from theirs and shake off the strong feeling of déjà vu I got.

"Are you okay?" Tobias asks, recognizing that I'm suddenly distracted. He's pushing the groceries in the stroller since I have Tessa in my arms.

"I'm fine," I say. "I'm just looking forward to supper. I'm hungry."

"You're in luck, we're almost home." After we enter the apartment, he puts the groceries away while I put Tessa in her swing. I decide to rest while he cooks supper. Tyler pulls out a couple puzzle books and plays with them at the base of the stairs, and I lie down on the couch. Tobias wakes me when supper is nearly ready, and I thank him for letting me sleep with a long, lingering kiss.

"Your lips taste like spaghetti sauce," I say after I pull away. "It's a wonderful flavor."

"Mommy, will you play with me?" Tyler asks.

"I'll let you know when supper is ready," Tobias says.

"Sure, buddy," I say. After I gently ease myself down onto the floor, he brings his puzzles over to me. "Which one would you like to put together?" He points to the one depicting dinosaurs in front of a volcano. We take the pieces off the wooden page and turn them over then proceed to put them back where they belong, completing the picture. These books full of wooden puzzles are one of the best purchases Tobias and I ever made for Tyler. He can sit for hours putting together the pictures of racecars, dinosaurs, astronauts, cowboys, and so much more over and over.

"Supper's ready," Tobias says from the kitchen. I quickly finish the barn animal puzzle we just dumped then manage to get myself up off the floor. "Do you need help, Tris?"

"I've got it," I say as I put the puzzle books where they belong. "Can you bring Tessa into the kitchen please?" After he pulls her up beside the island, he serves us a wonderful supper, which we all enjoy immensely. After the main course is finished, we each have a sliver of the chocolate chip cheesecake. "I'm having seconds of dessert."

"You go right on ahead," Tobias says. "I'm going to finish cleaning up in here then I'm going to take Tyler upstairs for a bath." Even though he had one this morning, he somehow managed to get spaghetti sauce everywhere including his hair.

"Okay," I say. "I'll give Tessa one down here." I watch as he cleans the kitchen, putting leftovers away, loading the dishwasher, wiping off the counters. Hhm? I know that I find him cooking to be very arousing but I never noticed that the clean-up affects me the same way. Maybe I just like him in the kitchen. Oh what I could do to him in the kitchen.

"Are you alright, love?" he asks. "You look a little flushed."

"Just thinking about making a sundae later," I whisper. He smiles knowingly.

"I look forward to that myself," he says. "It was part of the deal after all."

"I'll be up to tuck you in when I finish with your sister, okay, Tyler?"

"Otay," he says. I watch my boys head up the stairs and turn my attention to Miss Tessa who is contentedly sitting in her swing, which has stopped moving. I give her a bath, and she splashes in the water getting it on her face, momentarily taking her breath away. I steady myself for her cries but instead she starts laughing.

"Was that fun?" I ask, drying her face. "How did Mommy and Daddy get so lucky that you're such a laid back baby? You're just like your brother." I finish her bath, wrap her in her hooded towel, and make my way upstairs. I meet Tobias and Tyler in the hallway and hand Tessa to her father. "I'll finish getting Tyler ready for bed."

"Mommy, will you wead to me?" he asks after I help him into his PJs.

"Of course," I say. "You pick out a book." He picks a small book titled _How Much I Love You_ then climbs up onto my lap. I slowly rock as I read the story to him. When it's done, he's out like a light. I kiss his head and say, "I love you to the moon and back, my sweet boy. You sleep tight." I continue rocking him until Tobias comes to check on me. Seeing my dilemma, he puts Tessa in her crib then comes back and lifts Tyler up and puts him into bed. We both kiss him goodnight, and I flip his nightlight on before we leave his room. "Should I nurse Tessa or give her a bottle? I don't want her refusing to take one at daycare."

"I think you can nurse her," he says. "The new antibiotic is helping. She seems like her old self."

"Okay," I say.

"I'm going downstairs and start files on the transfers," he says. "I'm also going to call Zander and check on Murphy."

"I'll come find you when I'm finished," I say.

"I'm looking forward to it, Mrs. Eaton." We give each other a soft kiss then go our separate ways. I rock Tessa while she vigorously nurses after I give her the last dose of antibiotic for the day. When she finishes, she seems a bit restless so I continue rocking her until I can get her to sleep. She lies her head on my shoulder but her eyes are wide like she's afraid she'll miss something if she closes them.

"You can close your beautiful eyes, little one," I softly say. "You need some sleep. I can tell you're tired." I notice my worn copy of _What to Expect When You Are Expecting_ on the side table and pick it up. Isobel recommended that I read it to prepare myself for every step of the pregnancy and birth but life has gotten in the way, and I haven't gotten very far in it. I continue to rock her while I read then something catches my attention and I gasp. Loudly. Peanut can hear us. _Of course she can hear us._ It's absurd to think she can't. Just like today with the gunfire, the minute it started, she ducked and covered. Sometimes Tobias and I will be laughing and talking, and she moves all around like she's trying to find the best vantage point to listen. Anxiety moves through my body when I think of everything she hears. If she can hear us when we're talking then that means she can hear us every time we have … Oh, God! I can't even bring myself to think the word. All the embarrassment I felt at Zeke's teasing is nothing compared to how I'm feeling right now.

"Whatcha doing, love?" Tobias asks from the doorway.

"Our girl was feeling a bit restless tonight so I decided to rock her to sleep," I say. I hold up the pregnancy and birth book that I've been neglecting. "I thought I would catch up on my reading. Tobias, did you know that Peanut can hear us? I guess I did but I never really _thought_ about it. We can't have s-e-x anymore."

"What?" he asks, his brows knitted tightly together, confused. I sigh. Perhaps his brain doesn't work like mine.

"She can _hear_ us, and she'll know when we have s-e-x," I say, mortified.

"Why do you keep spelling sex?" he asks but I interrupt him before he finishes the word.

"Sshh," I say.

"Love, she doesn't know what s-e-x means," he says, trying and failing to keep humor out of his voice. I narrow my eyes at him, and he stops laughing. "I shouldn't have laughed. I'm sorry. But you're forgetting something, I read that book, too. She may hear us and respond to outside stimuli but she doesn't _understand_ what we're saying or what's going on. As long as you're happy, love, our little peanut is happy so as far as I'm concerned we should be having s-e-x all the time because it makes you _very, very_ happy. I know, I've seen your face, before, during, and after."

"Am I being silly?" I ask, suddenly feeling ridiculous for my reaction.

"No, you're just being a concerned parent, and I love you for it," he says. "Here, let me take Tessa and put her in her crib. Then we can go downstairs and have those sundaes you mentioned earlier, if you're up for it." His enthusiastic grin is contagious, and I find myself getting excited for our little game. I toss the book on the table and giddily follow him into the kitchen. I let out a startled gasp when he suddenly lifts me onto the island then gets the whipped cream out of the fridge. "I think I'll have Tris a la mode tonight." He holds up the can and shakes it.

"If I'm not mistaken a la mode is ice cream," I say with a giggle.

"I'll keep that in mind for a later date," he says with a sexy grin before shooting a small amount of whipped cream in his mouth. He pulls me close and lowers his lips to mine, thrusting his tongue into my mouth to share the delectable sweet cream with me. I tighten my grip on him as we let our tongues tangle intimately. Suddenly, I feel something cold on my neck, and he moves his mouth away from mine so he can slowly lick it up. I close my eyes and moan and reach for the hem of his t-shirt. I lift it off over his head and drop it to the floor.

"My turn," I say, picking up the can. I spray a little in the hollow at the base of his neck then lick it off in three long strokes. His mouth crashes into mine, and we share an eager, fiery kiss.

"Mommy?" Tyler says from the top of the stairs. I groan and rest my forehead against Tobias' trying to catch my breath.

"What, buddy?" I call out.

"I had bad dweam," he says then he bursts into tears. Tobias helps me off the island, and we both rush up the stairs. I sit on the top step and pull him into my arms, cradling his head close to my chest.

"Don't cry," I say. "Mommy's here."

"I no find you," he says through his tears. "I looked and looked."

"Mommy and Daddy were just downstairs," Tobias says, rubbing small circles on his back. "We didn't go anywhere. We didn't mean to scare you."

"Do you want Mommy to rock you?" I softly ask.

"Yeah," he says sniffling.

"I'll carry you back into your room then Mommy will rock you until you go back to sleep," Tobias says. Tyler willingly goes to his father, and we all get up from the stairs. Within minutes I'm in his room with him snuggling close to me, rocking gently.

"What was your dream about?" I ask, conflicted as to whether I should make him relive whatever it was that woke him up.

"I had to live with that man," he says, his voice small and full of fear. I tighten my grip on him and kiss his head.

"That's not going to happen, my sweet boy. _Ever_ ," I say. "Go back to sleep, buddy. Mommy loves you so much."

"Daddy loves you, too," Tobias says from the doorway. It takes almost 45 minutes but I finally get him back to sleep. Tobias carefully lifts him from my arms and puts him back in bed, and we tuck him in together then kiss his head softly.

"I'm sorry but I just want to go to bed now," I say as we walk out into the hallway. "I'm exhausted."

"Me, too, love," he says. We change into PJs and slide between the sheets. "I love you, Mrs. Eaton. Sleep well."

"I love you, too, Mr. Eaton," I say as I softly press my lips to his then drift off into a peaceful sleep with my head lying on his chest.


	27. Chapter 27

The past day-and-a-half have flown by in a flurry of bullets, punches, kicks, and sweat. Although the misfits have only been practicing what Tobias and I taught them for two-and-a-half days, I have noticed some minor improvement with everyone except for Zoey and Olivia but for markedly different reasons. Zoey is small and frail and doesn't have a lot of control over the handgun or power behind her punches or kicks but Olivia just plain doesn't give a shit, and I'm still trying to figure out what she's doing here. The remainder of the transfers are progressing as expected except for Grant and Brody, they are at a completely different level than everyone else. I look forward to a bout between the two sometime in the future. It will be close.

We gained another initiate after Tori, Will, Harrison, Tobias, and I talked about Murphy's breakdown during weapons training on Tuesday. Tori and Will wanted her kicked out immediately but the rest of us thought she deserved a second chance after listening to Dr. Shaw's assessment of her condition. I had Zander call her for a consultation since we trust her. After a long, heated discussion, the others agreed to Tobias taking responsibility for Murphy's training. Although she still sleeps with the Dauntless-born, she does her training with the transfers. She works a couple hours on target practice then talks to Dr. Shaw for the remainder of the morning and rejoins us after lunch for fight training. The psychiatrist thinks this transition period might be easier for her if she spends it with new faces.

Tobias and I have been going straight home after we pick up the kids from daycare and practically passing out. I had no idea that spending the majority of my day in the training room watching initiates train could be so exhausting. We've been pretty useless. We basically feed the kids, spend a little quality time together as a family, and then go to bed. Sex hasn't even crossed our minds since the night Tyler's bad dream interrupted us. Thankfully, he hasn't had a repeat nightmare, and Tessa is finally feeling better. She's even sleeping through the night again. I'm not sure I could have continued getting up every three hours and still function during the day.

Tobias and I each grab a couple slices of sausage, green pepper, and onion pizza in the cafeteria and head up to his old apartment, which is still vacant so we can eat and have a little alone time. I'm sure he has something else in mind but after I eat the cheesy deliciousness, I promptly fall asleep in his arms. He wakes me what feels like two minutes later telling me it's time to go.

"I let you sleep as long as I could," he says from the living room as I use the bathroom. "We have to get back to the training room. Are you alright with me making the pairs?"

"Sure," I say, shutting off the lights and stepping out into the hallway. He takes me by surprise when he pushes me up against the wall and kisses me passionately.

"Mmm," I murmur. "You taste good." He must have brushed his teeth. We let our tongues slowly dance until he groans and pushes away from me.

"What I wouldn't give to take you back in that room, rip off all your clothes, and make you scream my name … four or five times," he says with his mouth pressed up against my ear and every inch of his body pressed against me, sending a shiver through my suddenly heated body.

"Don't tease, baby," I say, suddenly feeling weak in the knees.

"Tonight? If we're not too tired?" I enthusiastically nod my head at him.

We're the last ones to make it to the training room but it's still a couple minutes before 1:30. I feel a sense of pride knowing that the misfits are listening to us. Tobias heads towards the faded black punching bags, and the transfers follow closely behind him silently. The air suddenly chances becoming dense with equal parts apprehension, fear, and excitement as we await the first practice fights to begin. My eyes scan the transfers who are standing on either side of the big green chalkboard that hangs on the wall to the left of the fighting ring, nervously watching Tobias as he writes the names of the fight pairs.

Olivia – Zoey

Ana – Bethany

Sadie – Sam

Faith – Alec

Grant – Jesse

Kevin – Brody

Murphy

"Since there is now an odd number of you, one of you will always sit out since no one person will be made to fight twice in a single day," I say. "Murphy, you get the reprieve today." I could be mistaken but I think I see relief in her eyes.

"I'd like to go over some rules with you so listen carefully," Tobias says. "You are not allowed to strike your opponent whether it's with your fists, feet, knees, or elbows in the neck, spine, genitals/groin area, sternum/breast area, or in a joint such as the elbow or knee."

"The fight is over when your opponent is unable to continue, if you concede to the fact that you are no longer able to continue, or if Four or I stop the fight," I say. "Remember, we aren't teaching you this to be brutal. You are taught this to prepare your bodies for battle. Olivia and Zoey, you're up first."

Zoey, who is a good five inches shorter than Olivia confidently marches to the middle of the ring, which just recently had a new thick mat installed, with her head held high. Olivia hesitates by the other transfers, nervously gawking at her opponent like she's staring down an Amazon warrior instead of a petite little transfer from Erudite. This should be interesting.

"Olivia," Tobias growls, causing her to jump. "We don't have all day. Get in the ring." She inches out onto the mat and stands there looking terrified. Zoey takes a step toward her, and she recoils like a shrinking violet. Zoey's face twists with irritation and disgust.

"Hands up, girls," I instruct. They both put their hands up in the defensive manner they were taught yesterday. Every time Zoey lunges at Olivia, she dances out of the way. I have to admit that she has good footwork. Finally, Zoey's fist connects with Olivia's jaw, knocking her off her feet. She quickly scrambles back up, which surprises me and throws a couple punches Zoey's way but they don't land because she's scrappy and fast.

I look over the initiates who have their eyes glued to the ring. I'm starting to see the faction lines blurring. Sadie and Ana are huddled close, whispering about what's going on in front of them, calling out from time to time in support of Zoey. Bethany and Sam have really taken to Alec. They are sitting against the wall, Alec in the center hanging on every word the girls say. Kevin and Murphy have struck up an unlikely friendship based on their mutual broken hearts. His girlfriend of one-and-a-half-years is still back in Erudite. She doesn't pick until next year. He said he'd wait for her but the night before the Choosing Ceremony, she told him that she would more than likely never leave her faction and told him to be happy. I think he'll be good for Murphy, at least that's what I'm hoping. The others are sticking close to who they know best. Brody and Faith worry me. I think they could be wonderful Dauntless members but they seem to be holding themselves back, not embracing this new life. Grant and Jesse are side-by-side rooting heavily for Olivia. They are thick as thieves, and when I asked Christina if she knew them in Candor, she told me she knew who they were but never had any real interactions with them. She also mentioned that they remind her of Peter, Drew, and Molly, too but with one exception, she thinks Olivia is their equivalent of _him_.

I return my attention to the fight going on in front of me, surprised that it's lasted this long. They've both landed some hard punches but if I were to score this fight, it would hands down go to Zoey. They continue circling around each other, throwing an occasional punch when suddenly Zoey lands a basic one-two punch, which knocks Olivia out. She falls to the mat like a felled tree, and Zoey kneels down beside her, frantically patting her cheek, trying to get her to wake up.

"Grant, Jesse, take Olivia to the infirmary and come right back," Tobias says when she starts to show some sign of life. He walks over to the chalkboard and circles Zoey's name, indicating that she's the winner. "Up next, Ana and Bethany." Sadie and Zoey give Ana a high five before she heads to the middle of the ring where Bethany is already waiting for her.

"You ready for this, Beth?" Ana asks.

"Not in the least," she murmurs with a nervous chuckle. Their fight starts off much like the first one did. They circle around each other, throwing an occasional punch, groaning, wincing, and moaning the entire time. I move to stand beside Tobias, and he looks down at me. He narrows his eyes then disappears out the door. _I wonder what that's about._ A minute later he comes back carrying a chair.

"Sit," he says. "You look exhausted."

"I'm fine," I say. He looks at me sternly and eyes the chair. "Fine." I sit down and instantly feel better. "Thanks." We watch the ring for 20 more minutes until Ana holds her hands up and says stop.

"I can't take anymore," she says, breathing heavily. I'm surprised she lasted as long as she did against Bethany who is just a bigger girl than she is. It was really good for a first bout.

After circling Bethany's name Tobias says, "Sadie, Sam, your next." The banging door captures all of our attention, and we watch as Grant and Jesse walk back into the training room just in time for the next fight. I momentarily wonder what took them so long but my thoughts are interrupted when Sam knocks Sadie unconscious with her first punch. Tobias and I look at each other. "That's the quickest fight I've ever seen." Sadie stirs long before Olivia did.

"Do you need to go to the infirmary, Sadie?" I ask. She's looking around extremely confused.

"Wha … what happened?" she stammers. I get up and stand before her.

"Look at me," I say and she does what I ask. I look into her eyes and see something I don't like. Her pupils are dilated. "Bethany, Zoey, will you walk Sadie to the infirmary? Then come right back please."

"Okay, Tris," Bethany says.

"Come on, Sadie," Zoey says.

"I'm fine," Sadie says, swaying a bit.

"Trust me," I say. "You need to have a doctor look at you. Your pupils are dilated. That's a sign of a concussion."

"O-Okay," she says, looking worried now.

"Get going," Tobias sternly says. "Faith, Alec, get in the ring." While he circles Sam's name, he says, "I don't want to have to tell you all again." I watch Bethany and Zoey help Sadie out of the room as I sit back down. Faith and Alec finally make their way into the ring. Before she crosses onto the mat, Brody squeezes her shoulder in a show of support. Alec stands in the center of the ring looking much like a fish out of water. This fight should be interesting.

"It's Alec, right?" Faith asks and he nods. "Try not to think of me as a girl. Think of me as just another initiate. Okay?" They both maintain a defensive stance then slowly circle each other. Faith gets several solid punches in then attacks his midsection with her knee when he finally takes her advice and starts fighting back. So far this seems like the most evenly matched bout. They go at each other for nearly 20 minutes before we see Faith start to take the upper hand. I think it's his lack of stamina that's going to be his downfall but I honestly don't see him conceding the match, she's going to have to knock him down.

"Faith, take him down," Brody calls out after we've watch them scrambling all over the mat for another 15 minutes. She rears back and hits him in his exposed left jaw, knocking him to the mat. He's not out but he's certainly dazed.

"That's it," Tobias calls out. "I think you've both had enough." He circles Faith's name on the board.

"That was a good match," Faith says, holding her hand out to Alec, helping him to his feet. "Once you started hitting me, that is." They smile at each other and start laughing, then wince and hold their ribs.

"Up next, Grant and Jesse," I say. I watch as Faith and Alec each grab a bottle of ice water as Grant and Jesse enter the ring, whispering to each other. I look at Tobias, and he has the same skeptical look on his face that I know I'm wearing. After they've circled each other for a minute or two I yell out, "Anytime now, boys." Neither one can hide their disdain for me but Jesse throws his first punch, hitting Grant in the midsection. It didn't look like there was a lot of power behind it. I think Zoey throws a meaner punch. They spar for a few minutes before Grant knocks Jesse out cold. By the look on his face, he didn't mean to. The look actually reminds me of Al when he knocked out Will. This kid is all over the place or maybe my first impression was wrong. Grant enlists Alec's help to drag his unconscious friend to the infirmary without having to be told. Yeah, maybe I've misjudged him.

"And for our final fight of the day, Kevin and Brody," Tobias says after he circles Grant's name. I look at the clock and find it's not even 4:30 yet. Part of me hopes that this fight is a quick one because Tobias and I made the decision to let them go immediately following the last fight. I sit watching Brody dominate the bout when I receive an email from Zander.

"Olivia will be released after a couple more hours. She has no serious injury," I read off the message. "Sadie has to stay overnight for observation. She has a mild concussion. He says he'll let us know in the morning if she'll be late. He also recommends she doesn't fight during the next wave of practice matches. Jesse just arrived and will be held for a few hours for monitoring but he has no head injury."

"Sadie's condition sounds troublesome," he says. "Maybe we should stop in and check on her before supper."

"Sounds like a plan," I say. I turn my attention back to the ring and really can't believe Kevin is still standing. He's not as strong as Brody but he's just as determined to win this fight as his opponent. They keep dancing then tangling then dancing in a consistent pattern. Hhm, I think I know what Kevin is trying to do. Brody seems to rely on his brute strength, and I think Kevin's trying to tire him out. If this works, I think Tobias and I will have underestimated him. After 10 additional minutes, Brody figures out what Kevin's doing and shuts him down with a single punch to his right jaw. He stumbles back and falls to the floor. He puts his hands up in surrender and says he's done.

"Grant, Brody, please take Kevin to the infirmary to be checked out," Tobias says. "Everyone else, you are free to go for the day. Be back here at 8 a.m. tomorrow morning."

"Have a good night," I say. He transfers the winner's names to the permanent file then we head to the infirmary.

"How do you think they did for their first fight?" he asks.

"I think they all did well with two exceptions," I say. "Do you think Sam got in a lucky punch with Sadie?"

"Honestly, it happened so fast I'm not sure my eyes were on the ring," he says. "What about Olivia?" He says her name with disgust. Since I pointed it out, he too has noticed her constant ogling.

"I'm trying to figure out why she picked Dauntless," I say. "She seems better suited for Amity."

"I've been thinking the same thing," he says, laughing at my statement.

"I know we're not going to share the simulation data anymore with Erudite but should we expect the initiates aptitude test results for their files?"

"Yeah, they should be here within the week," he says.

"I can't wait to see what faction she got because I'm certain it wasn't Dauntless," I say. "If she doesn't start trying, I say we eliminate her even though we aren't making automatic cuts. Her lack of effort is annoying." Not to mention the way she undresses my husband with her eyes every time she sees him. I want her gone. As we're entering the infirmary, Zander is coming out.

"Hey guys," he says. "How are you?"

"We're good," I say. "Just checking on our initiates."

"They'll all be released soon enough, except for Sadie," he says. "She took a nasty punch."

"That she did. It was a bit of a shock," I say.

He looks at his watch and says, "I better go. I'm meeting Stella, and I don't want to be late."

"We'll see you later," Tobias says.

"Bye, Zander," I say. When we reach the waiting room, we ask the new intake nurse which room Sadie is in. We're surprised to see Ana and Zoey already sitting on the bed with her when we reach her room. I knock on the doorjamb, and their mouths drop open when they see us standing here.

"Tris, Four, come in," Sadie says.

"We wanted to check and see how you're doing," Tobias says. "Dr. Parrish said you took quite a hit. How are you feeling?"

"Embarrassed mostly for being knocked out on the first punch," she says, her cheeks slowly turning pink before our eyes.

"It was a lucky shot," Zoey says. "You'll be fine the next time."

"She's right," Ana says.

"Other than embarrassed how are you feeling?" I ask.

"I have a headache, and I'm tired but the doctor said I shouldn't sleep," she says. "Other than that I feel fine."

"That's good," Tobias says.

"We'll go now," I say. "We just wanted to check on you. We'll see you three tomorrow. Have a good night." We leave the infirmary and head straight to the daycare center to pick up the kids. When we arrive, Zander, Stella, and Zane are getting ready to leave.

"We meet again," Zander says with a chuckle.

"I was just getting ready to call you," Stella says. "We're off tomorrow and taking the kids to the park. Zane asked if Tyler could come along." Zane looks up at us with expectant eyes.

"I'm sure he would love that," I say.

"How about we take him overnight. It's been ages since they had a sleepover," she says. "As a matter of fact we could take Tessa, too, and give you guys a night off."

"I don't know, she's been sick," I say, looking up at Tobias.

"It's fine with me if you're okay with it," he says. I think about it for a moment.

"Okay," I say. "How about we bring them over after supper?"

"It will be nice having them over. You all are like members of our family. We'll see you later."

"Okay," I say.

"Come on, Zane," Zander says. "Tyler and Tessa are coming over later."

"Yeah!" he says. "Bye, Four. Bye, Mrs. Four."

"Bye, Zane," we say at the same time. After waving goodbye to our friends, we go through the door and are immediately greeted by one of the teachers.

"Tyler's in the playroom and Tessa's napping," she says. "I'll go get her." She goes into the quiet baby room and comes back out with a still sleeping Tessa cradled in her arms. I gently take my baby girl and put her up to my shoulder, rubbing light circles on her back wanting to keep her asleep. Tobias brings Tyler out of the playroom. Before we leave the Pit, we decide to eat at home tonight.

"Can we have tacos?" Tyler asks when we're about half way up the path.

"That sounds really good, and we have some taco meat already prepared in the freezer," Tobias says. "That will make for a quick supper. You know Zane and his family are going to the park tomorrow." We haven't told Tyler that he's going with them yet. He looks up at Tobias with a wounded look on his face.

"When can I go to pawk?" he pouts.

"Do you want to go tomorrow?" I ask.

His eyes light up and he says, "You take me to pawk?"

"Zander and Stella are going to take you to the park," I say. "And you're going to stay overnight tonight with Zane. Does that sound fun?"

"Yeah!" he says then his face falls. "You be with me?"

"No, Mommy and Daddy have to work," Tobias says. "We're sorry."

"When I leave?"

"We're going to take you and Tessa to Zane's after supper." He frowns when he hears Tessa is going along but surprisingly he doesn't complain.

The minute we get home Tobias takes the taco meat out of the freezer and starts fixing our supper. I sit down with Tessa who is now wide awake and ready for her supper also. Tyler gets a picture book all about shapes, colors, and counting off the book shelf and sits at my feet looking at it. I hear him say red circle, blue triangle, and green rectangle over and over, and I swell with pride. He didn't even know his shapes or colors when he came to live with us. What a difference a few short months have made. When Tobias finishes making the tacos, he calls us to supper. He lifts Tyler up into his booster seat, and I sit next to him. I eat while Tessa nurses because the couple slices of pizza at lunch didn't hold me over, and Peanut and I are both starving.

"You better slow down," Tobias says and I look at Tyler who is frowning. He doesn't seem like he's eating too fast. I question Tobias with my eyes and he says with a grin, "I was talking to you, love." _Oh!_

"Sorry. I didn't realize I was eating that fast," I say. "Help remind me that pizza is not enough. Peanut is not very happy with me at the moment. I swear she's throwing a temper tantrum. She feels like she's stomping her feet. It's the only way I know how to describe it."

"You got it," he says. "Do you want anything else?"

"Pudding," I say, knowing there is leftover pudding in the refrigerator.

"Chocolate or tapioca?" he asks.

"Both," I say. I took a chance last night and mixed them and I loved it. I gave Tyler a small bite, and he made the funniest face when he tried it and refused any more, and Tobias wouldn't even take a bite, commenting under his breath about the unappetizing color.

"Coming right up," he says with a turned up nose.

"Can I have chocolate?" Tyler asks.

"Sure, buddy," he says. He clears our dishes and puts them in the dishwasher then pours us each up a bowl of pudding. I savor each bite wondering if I only like this combination because I'm pregnant or because it's really good. I decide not to dwell on it but to just enjoy it. When I'm done, I hand Tessa to Tobias so he can spend a little time with her before we go. I pack her diaper bag and a small overnight bag then text Stella that we're on our way. It doesn't take too long to get to their apartment. The minute the door opens Tyler runs off with Zane. I hand Tessa over to Stella after giving her a few kisses and receiving a wide gorgeous smile in reply.

"She just ate and will want another bottle around midnight but then she should sleep all night," I say then I call out, "Tyler, Mommy and Daddy are leaving." He comes into the living room and straight to me. I give him a hug and a kiss then watch as Tobias says his goodbyes. "You be good for Zander and Stella. Have fun and be careful at the park tomorrow. We love you."

"I love you, Mommy," he says giving me a second hug then he kisses my belly. "Bye, baby."

"You're a sweet boy, Tyler Aaron," I say. He smiles and returns to Zane's room.

"I don't rate," Tobias mutters as he follows after Tyler to say goodnight.

"If you need anything from us, just let me know," I say.

"We will," Stella says. "Go. Have a good night."

"Thanks," I say as Tobias comes back into the living room from Zane's room. He holds his hand out to me, and I take it then he helps me get up off the couch.

When we're in the hallway Tobias turns to me and asks, "What would you like to do tonight?"

"I think there's a can of whipped cream in the refrigerator with our name on it," I say with a seductive smile. His eyes darken as he gazes down at me then shifts slightly like he remembers something.

"I think I have an even better idea of how to spend our evening," he says, a sly grin unfurling on his lips. "We'll need some paper, a pen, and a bowl." I furrow my brows at him trying to figure out what he's up to when it comes to me. I stop in my tracks, halting him. He looks down at me, confusion evident in his sparkling eyes as a grin splits my face.

"Naughty Candor or Dauntless?"

"That's right, love. Naughty Candor or Dauntless."


	28. Chapter 28

Tobias and I hurry back to our apartment, anticipation of a fun-filled evening filling the air. I haven't been this excited since the last time we played this game at the lighthouse, and oh what a night that was. I _love_ this game. It lets us get to know each other better as a couple, what we like and don't like as well as what we wouldn't mind trying, and it helps us to be more sexually open and confident. Yeah, I can't wait.

"Sit down and relax, and I'll get us some paper," Tobias says the minute we enter the apartment. I watch as he cuts some plain white card stock we keep on hand for Tyler to use for drawing into equal sizes, thinking of various truths and dares I want to write down. He gets a nice-sized bamboo bowl out of one of the cupboards and sets it on the island between us. "We'll both write down what we want but remember, we can't refuse so choose what you write carefully." We both spend the next 10 minutes filling the bamboo bowl with things we want to try with each other and questions we want answers to. I glance up at him when I can't think of anything else only to find him already watching me, which makes me smile.

"Ready?" I ask.

"Definitely," he says.

"Shall we take this upstairs?" I ask.

"The kids aren't here," he says. "There's no need for us to be locked up in our bedroom. Let's sit on the couch for now."

"Okay." We get up and move to the couch, bringing the large, truth-and-dare-filled bamboo bowl with us. "Since it was your idea to play, Mr. Eaton, you can go first," I say, excitement plain in my voice.

"Why thank you, Mrs. Eaton," he says as he reaches into the bowl, searching for the perfect slip of paper. He pulls one out and grins naughtily. "Hhm. You wrote this one. Would you rather give up oral sex or kissing?" I was hoping he would have to answer this one.

"As much as I love what you do with this sweet mouth of yours when you go down on me," I cup his cheek and gently run my thumb across his full bottom lip, "and, believe me, I would miss it _a lot_ if you were to stop but there is something inherently sexual, intimate, and loving in our kisses that I would never want to be without … _ever_."

"I feel the exact same way, love," he huskily says. Good, I got his answer anyway. I reach into the bottom of the bowl and pull out my truth or dare.

"Take off a piece of clothing." I toss that one back in the bowl and shuffle its contents. He stands up and rips his shirt off over his head then tosses it to the floor and sits back down. "I love this game," I say running my eyes all over his now naked chest.

"I can tell," he says, causing me to giggle as he reaches into the bowl. "This is a deep one. If you died tomorrow, would you want me to marry again?"

"That's a hard one," I say, trying to ignore the pain spasming through my heart at the thought of us being apart. "I have a really hard time thinking of you with another woman but I can't stand the thought of you unhappy and lonely. If I were to die and you fell in love again, you have my blessing to get married just make sure she's good to you and my children or I'll haunt her ass." He laughs and gently takes my head in his hands. First he gives me a tender kiss, and then he stares into my eyes with a burning gaze.

"If I die, love, and you have a chance at happiness again, grab hold of it with both hands and don't let go. All I've ever wanted was for you to be happy. That's how much I love you." Tears spring to my eyes and emotion threatens to choke me.

"This is supposed to be fun," I whimper. "No more serious questions like that."

"Okay," he says, kissing the corner of each eye. "Your turn."

"If I was a food what would I be and how would you eat me?" I read of the slip of paper.

"That's definitely not serious," he says with a chuckle. "I think you would be a chocolate ice cream cone, and first I would lick you … slowly until I found that you were dripping and then I would devour you." _Wow, that was arousing._ "Kiss my ear for a minute in the kitchen. Guess we don't have to go too far." We get off the couch and move into the kitchen. He takes the egg timer off the stove and hands it to me. "This might come in handy. We'll keep this with us."

"Does the island count as the kitchen?" I ask and he nods. "Help me up then please." He lifts me so that we're on the same level, and I wrap my legs around his waist and lock my ankles. I set the timer for slightly more than one minute and set it down beside me then wrap one arm around his neck, drawing him closer to me. I turn his head with my other hand, revealing his sensitive right ear to me and kiss it like I do his mouth. A low, appreciative rumble resonates from deep within his chest when I stick the tip of my tongue in and swirl it all around. Then I kiss each inch before running my moist, parted lips leisurely around his ear. The timer interrupts us, and I promptly take my mouth away.

"I swear I could let you do that all night," he hoarsely says. I give him a soft peck on the lips before he helps me off the island and we return to the couch. I reach into the bowl and pull another truth out.

"Would you like to see me in frilly lingerie?" I ask.

"It's a damn good thing _I_ didn't get that question," he says, rolling his eyes at the absurdity. "And my answer is _hell_ _yes_. Of course I'd like to see you in any type of lingerie. I'm a man after all. Let's see. Kiss me all over for one minute." _Why is he getting all the dares?_

"Lie down," I say after I move the bowl to the floor and get up off the couch. He does as I ask while I set the timer. I start with a soft kiss to his temple then graze my lips over his forehead down to first his right eye and then his left. Next I kiss the tip of his nose and then the corner of his mouth. I kiss my way over to his right ear, which I linger at for a couple seconds then down his neck to his sculptured chest. I kiss my name tattoo that overlays his heart then each peaked nipple. I trail tender kisses down his bare chest to his abs and then the timer goes off. I look into his eyes, and they're nearly black with desire. "Do you prefer me in a skirt and heels or jeans and sneakers?"

"You might be surprised by this," he says. He's still lying on the couch with both hands behind his head while I kneel on the floor in front of him. "I prefer you in a skirt and heels, especially heels." He closes his eyes and smiles like he's remembering something. "You know what shoes do to me." _Yeah, I do._ He drops his hand into the bowl and pulls out a truth for once. "Would you rather tie me up and have your way with me or have me tie you up?"

"Hhm. I think I'd rather have you tie me up," I say and I can tell this surprises him.

"You'd let me do that?" he roughly asks.

"Yeah, I think I would," I say. "We're a lot more adventurous than the last time you asked me that question. Aren't you curious?"

"I think so," he says. "Do I _need_ to tie you up? No, but if you want to try then I'm more than willing. I'm up for anything as long as you are."

"I love you," I say, placing my lips on his.

"I love you, too," he says. I reach into the bowl while his lips are still on mine and pull out his first dare.

"Oh my, Tobias Eaton. This is your handwriting. Give me oral sex until I come," I say as I turn it around so he can see. He smiles and sits up. He gets up off the couch then offers me a hand and helps me to my feet. He very gently pushes me back onto the couch and unties my boots and take them and my socks off. Then he eases my pants and panties down my legs, never taking his eyes off mine. My breathing becomes shallow and fast with anticipation.

"You want a little foreplay?" I can't talk now so I just shake my head. _No foreplay, Mr. Eaton. I want your mouth on me. Now._ He smirks then pulls me forward so my backside is on the very edge of the sofa. He sits on the floor between my outstretched legs and pushes them even further apart, holding my thighs open. "I hoped you would get this one when I wrote it down." He lowers his head and kisses the inside of one of my thighs. He then lazily trails his tongue from where he gently pressed his lips to my womanhood. He very deliberately darts his tongue out of his warm, wet mouth and lightly licks my throbbing nubbin and I gasp, arching my back, wanting more.

"Oh, God," I moan, running my fingers through his hair. His talented tongue moves down and lightly teases my folds, running up and down with the faintest of touches. He then presses his tongue as deep into my clenching tunnel as he can and swirls it around. "Tobias, baby! That feels _good_. Don't stop!" After a minute or so, he moves his tongue and licks up my dripping entrance and over my throbbing bundle of nerves. I moan his name as a jolt of pleasure rockets through me. He then lightly circles my nubbin, slowly pushing me toward some invisible towering summit. He wraps his arms tightly around my thighs, stilling my hips natural sway while his greedy tongue with the gentlest of pressure repeatedly dances over my nubbin. "Shit, baby!" He draws the needy nub between his powerful lips and starts sucking on it enthusiastically, and my back arches off the couch, and I cry out from the pleasure. "Oh, my _God_! Oh shit! Tobias, _baby_ , that feels _incredible_. Don't stop. _Don't stop!_ Oh, _God_!" I close my eyes and concentrate on my nubbin, his tongue, and the exquisite feeling. After a couple extraordinary minutes, I plummet over the edge, fisting my hands in his hair, drawing him closer to me, screaming out his name. "Shit, shit, shit, shit, _shit_!" I murmur as I come down from my high. He stops his ministrations and places a soft kiss against my womanhood. I pull him up and kiss him enthusiastically with everything I have.

"Did you like that?" he asks against my mouth.

"God, _yes_ ," I say. "I love your mouth." He pulls back and stares at me.

"Just my mouth?" he pouts.

"I could tease you so much right now but I'm in a really good mood so I'll just tell you that I love every single part of you, husband of mine." I hear him rifling through the paper while he kisses me again.

"What do you love most about me?" he asks.

"Didn't I just answer that?" I tease. He narrows his eyes at me. I put my hand on his chest and my expression sobers. "I love your heart and capacity to love, Tobias Eaton. You never cease to amaze me. I love you very much."

"I love you, too," he says. He picks up the bowl and holds it up in front of me.

"Have you ever lied during a Candor or Dauntless game?" I read.

"No," he answers immediately. "I never felt the need to, I guess. Let's see. Do you have a favorite part of foreplay?"

"Well," I say thinking about everything he does to me. "No, I love it all." I pull another slip of paper out and grin as I read it. "Spread a food of your choice anywhere on my body and lick it off. We'll keep this one." I toss it back in the bowl. I watch him as he gets up and pads into the kitchen. I can't keep my eyes off the sizeable bulge in his jeans as he walks back to me.

"See something you like?" he throatily says. My eyes flicker to his, and I smile coyly up at him. I can't wait until he's inside me.

"What are you going to do with me now?" I croak. I try clearing my throat but I can't hide the desire I'm feeling.

"I think I want to see your beautiful breasts," he says. He kneels down in front of me again and peels me out of my shirt and bra leaving me completely naked and at his whim. I reach out and lovingly stroke his cheek, wondering when the last time I felt shy in front of him was. I honestly can't remember. He holds up the strawberry sauce that I bought and I smile. "I think you should come down here on the floor. We don't want to get strawberries all over the couch." He helps me down onto the floor, and he instructs me to lie down. He opens the jar and pours a little of the delicious smelling sauce across my now heaving chest. My nipples harden further at the sudden assault of the chilled dessert topping. "You're beautiful. I think I'll have some strawberry milk." My eyes fly to his, and he has a lascivious grin on his face.

"You _didn't_ just say that," I whisper, a blush slowly coloring my entire body.

"Oh, I did!" He chuckles then murmurs under his breath, "Love that blush." He leans over and unhurriedly swipes a path through the strawberries with his tongue, his eyes on mine. _Why do I find this so erotic?_ I lower my head to the floor and close my eyes and enjoy the feel of his mouth on me. He thoroughly licks all the strawberry sauce off my chest and surprises me by pouring more on my left breast. "Mmm." He laps it off my erect nipple, causing it to harden and lengthen more until it aches painfully. He finally sucks the tortured peak into his hot mouth, and I squirm beneath him. He's only touching my breast with his mouth but unbelievably I begin to feel myself building toward that invisible apex again. I feel the still chilled strawberry sauce land on my other breast right before he repeats the sweet torture. I'm on the verge of my release when he abruptly stops.

" _No!_ " I cry out when he takes his mouth away. "I was _so_ close."

"Sorry, love," he says, smirking at me. He knows what he's doing; he's teasing me on purpose.

"God, I want you inside me right now," I say between pants, trying to pull him down on top of me.

"That's not how this game works, love," he says. "And you know it."

"Fuck the game," I pout. "I want you."

"Mrs. Eaton! _Language_!" he says with humor in his voice as he makes his next draw. The aching need between my thighs is driving me to distraction. I squeeze my legs tightly together to try and gain some relief to no avail. "What do you prefer me wearing to bed?" I look up into his face, glowering. "Not going to answer?" I shake my head stubbornly. "I'm not making love to you until we finish the game."

"When's that?"

"When the bowls empty or when one of the dares tell us to," he matter-of-factly says, catching my attention.

"You put sex as a dare in the bowl?" I ask. He nods at me and I smile. "So did I." We really do think alike!

"There you go," he says. "You just have to wait a little while longer."

"Nothing," I say. He furrows his brows at me in confusion. "What I like you to wear to bed? Nothing." I dig through the bowl hoping for one of the sex dares or another orgasm but don't get one. "Are you happy with our sex life?"

"Hell yes," he hastily says before drawing. "Oh, hallelujah! It's my turn. Make me come with your hand, love." I smile at him and sit up.

"I'll be right back." I get up off the floor, run upstairs to retrieve my coconut oil lotion, and quickly return to his side. He's stretched out on the floor, leaning back on his forearms looking like a Greek statue come to life. When I kneel down beside him, he eyes what's in my hand. "I thought this might come in handy." I giggle huskily, and he throatily laughs with me. "No pun intended." I open the jar for quick access when I'm ready. "I take it you don't need any foreplay either?" He shakes his head. I reach out and gently massage his rigid bulge with my fingers and palm through his boxing pants, and he hisses through his clenched teeth. "You sure are hard for me, Tobias. I love that I can make you feel like this. It makes me feel sexy, desired. Does this feel good?"

"Yeah," he growls.

"Time to get these pants off of you," I say, desire thick in my voice. I put my hands on his waistband and slowly drag them and his boxer briefs down and off, freeing his hard length. I can't help myself, and I lean over and place a soft kiss on the blatant evidence of his arousal. While staring him in the eyes, I dip my fingers in the coconut oil and lightly massage my hands together. I reach out and wrap my fist around his length and slowly start moving my hand up and down in a steady rhythm with the aid of the lubricant. It's feels amazing to me. I wonder how he it feels to him. "How does this feel?" I watch his eyes darken further as my small fist slowly slides effortlessly up and down his manhood, my thumb brushing over the head ever few passes.

"It's indescribable, love," he roughly says. We keep our eyes on each other, our breathing mirroring one another. Once again it amazes me how arousing him turns me on. Soon his hips are thrusting into my hand, and I squeeze his manhood tighter, quicken the pace, and add a flick of my wrist, which he seems to thoroughly enjoy. He collapses onto the floor, a fine sheen of sweat covering his body. His breathing increases, and he groans loudly indicating that he's close so I increase the speed of my tight fist. After another minute, he arches his back and calls out my name as he releases himself in my hand and all over his stomach. I loosen my grip but don't stop pumping up and down until his breathing starts to slow. I lean over and put my lips on his and kiss him deeply while I clean him up with his discarded boxer briefs.

"That was, excuse my language, fucking amazing," he says against my lips. "I liked you using the lotion." I lean back and pick another paper out of the bowl.

"What's your idea of good foreplay?" I ask. He stares up into my eyes while he thinks about it.

"It doesn't matter what it is but it has to start with kissing," he says. "Long, slow, tender kisses or passionate kisses where we want to rip each other's clothes off. It doesn't matter. I love kissing you." I move the bowl and place it between us. While still stretched out on the floor, he draws. "If I lost all my hair would you still find me attractive?"

"Of course," I say. "Where would you like me to get a new tattoo?"

"I've been thinking about this, obviously. I wrote that question. I would like us to get matching tattoos on either our ankles or feet. There are two I like, a double infinity symbol and baby footprints and names."

"I _really_ like your second idea," I say. "That's a yes." He sits up, takes my face between his hands, and kisses me softly.

"Have you ever had a naughty dream about me?" he reads off the paper he drew, his eyes blazing intensely.

"Yeah, more than once," I say, completely under his spell.

"You'll have to tell me about them sometime," he says.

"I often dream about making love on the Ferris wheel, and I know this is impossible on _every_ level but I've dreamt we had sex on the zip line."

"My wife is kind of kinky," he says with a smirk.

"You made me this way," I say. I pick out another truth and laugh. It goes hand-in-hand with what he just said. "Would you rather be tied up or blindfolded while we have sex or both?"

"Me personally? Blindfolded. There's something to say for anticipation and if you can't see, there has to be a higher level of expectancy." Wow, he's thought that through. "You answer that question. I'm curious."

"Both."

"Will you let me do that with you?" he shyly asks. "After Peanut is born."

"Yes," I say.

"It's a date then," he says. He gives me a swift kiss then draws again. "Would you ever watch a dirty movie with me?"

"I don't know," I say, heat flooding my cheeks. "I guess it depends on how dirty. There have been scenes in regular movies that are pretty hot."

"I'm with you there," he says. "No full porn. The thought does nothing for me." I draw again and feel like doing a little happy dance.

"Have sex with me in one of the places on your list," I say with a huge grin on my face. He gets up and I frown at him. "Where are you going?"

"To get paper and a pen," he says, rolling his eyes at me. "I'm going to write each place down and you can draw it then we'll take a field trip." I'm giddy with excitement when he comes back to me. "I left out the train since you can't jump on and off and it takes advance notice for me to stop one." He holds the bowl above my head so I can't peek. I shuffle through them before drawing.

"The chasm," I say. I look at the clock and realize it's still busy this time of night in the Pit and anticipation and trepidation battle within me.

"You'll need a skirt," he says. He helps me up off the floor and draws me into the protective circle of his arms for a greedy kiss. After he releases me, he pulls his boxing pants back on while I start upstairs. I hurry and change into a new sleeveless maternity sun dress that starts out black at the top then has a band of dark gray followed by light gray and finally a white band at the bottom. I put on my black ballet flats and head back downstairs.

"I like that dress," he says as he takes my hand and leads me into the hallway and down to the path. "It looks really nice. I take it that it's new. I don't remember seeing it before."

"Another hand me down from Christina but she never wore it," I say. "I like it, too, and it's so comfortable."

We're quiet the rest of the way to the Pit, although I'm not entirely sure why. It could be from my embarrassment or the anticipation of sex in another favorite public place. Sometimes I think we're crazy. I peek up at him every once in a while only to find him staring down at me. Finally, we reach the hidden path what leads us to the bottom of the chasm. We look around making sure no one is paying any attention to us then we slip behind the guard railing and carefully make our way to the damp flat rocks below.

"When's the last time we were down here?" I ask as he pulls me down onto his lap, my back against his chest.

"I think it was the night before our wedding," he says, his mouth against my ear. I can't believe it's been that long. He wraps his arms tightly around me, and I relax into him as he kisses, licks, and sucks my neck. He slowly glides his hands up my body from where they were resting on my hips until he is cupping my breasts, gently kneading. I feel my nipples grow rigid with desire, straining against the lace cups of my bra. My heart starts racing in my chest and my breathing becomes erratic. I reach behind me and massage his rigid erection through the soft material of his pants. He moans loudly in my ear as I continue to stroke him. God, I want him right now. I turn my head, my mouth seeking his, and he kisses me fiercely. He inches my skirt up until he can slip his hands between my thighs. He pulls my panties to the side and very slowly pushes two fingers into my moist center then starts a deliberate in-and-out pace.

"Tobias," I moan. "I want you inside me now. _Please_ , _baby!_ " He removes his fingers from my depths and frees himself from his pants. I look toward the top of the chasm but don't see anyone around then I move forward and lift myself a bit. I feel him align himself with my entrance and very slowly slip inside me. "Mmm. Oh, God! You're bigger this way."

"Feels that way because your legs are together," he roughly says. "You are so damn tight. I won't last long." He puts his hands on either side of my hips and starts moving me up and down on his hard length because my mobility is somewhat limited in this position. I finally find that if I put my hands on his thighs that I can push myself off of him. He slides his hand under my skirt and searches through my folds for my throbbing nubbin. When he finds it, he circles it with a featherlight touch. We're moving each other closer and closer to our release, him thrusting hard and deep into my tight depths and me forcing myself down on his massive length again and again. "Oh, God! I'm going to come, Tris." He explodes deep inside of me as he relentlessly circles my nubbin with his fingers, causing me to throw my head back and cry out his name as I detonate around his hammering shaft. When my harsh and erratic breathing calms, I lift myself off of him and turn in his arms. I pull my panties back into place and my dress down as he straightens himself. He leans into me and softly touches his lips to mine. We move them together slowly at first then let the kiss deepen until we're both breathless once again. I welcome the damp spray on the side of my face from the raging river that's flowing only a few feet away. It's cooling my overheated body, eradicating the sticky perspiration that's built up.

"I love this game," I say.

"So do I."


	29. Chapter 29

"Hey, why don't we take this party up to our new rooftop deck? It's a lovely night, and it's still early. We can grab a blanket or two and a couple pillows," Tobias says. I can tell he's up for more … _literally_.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," I say. We hurry out of the chasm and onto the Pit floor then make our way back up to our apartment. He fills a large bag with a blanket, some candles, and a few pillows then grabs the new apartment's key while I get a bottle of sparkling cider, two glasses, some cheese and crackers to snack on, and the bowl, which still has several truth and dares in it. We quietly walk down the hall and open the door. The smell of cleaner and fresh paint smacks me in the face. He leads me through the sea of plastic sheeting to the spiral stairway on the second floor, both of us taking care not to touch anything. When we step out on the rooftop deck, I take in the sight of the setting sun before me. "Breathtaking."

"Yeah," he says, low and breathy. His tone makes me look his way, and he's staring at me, a look of reverent adoration on his face.

"I meant the sunset," I say, shyly smiling up at him. "This place is perfect. I envision many nights like this up here over the years." We spread the blanket out under the pergola, and he tosses the throw pillows down for me to sit on. I pour us some drinks and plate the cheese and crackers while he lights the candles. I stretch out, enjoying the snack. Peanut must be hungry. Tobias stretches out beside me and joins me.

"Shall we?" he says pointing to the bowl, which is sitting between us. "I'll let you go first this time."

"Why thank you, sir," I say with exaggerated politeness reaching into the bowl. "Do you prefer me dressed up or in casual clothing?"

"Even though I like you both says, you're more relaxed in casual clothing so I'm going to say casual," he says.

"I didn't know that," I say. "It's probably the shoe dilemma. When I'm dressed up I usually have on heels, and they scare me to death. I'm always afraid I'll fall."

"You look sexier than hell in heels but you know that," he says, his eyes glazing over with lust. "My turn. What's the worst thing about being your sex?"

"The worst thing?" I say with a chuckle. "Anything period related. That's one nice thing about being pregnant, no period." I giggle with embarrassment. My face softens as I read the next dare. "Kiss me like it's the first time." He moves closer to me and runs the back of his fingertips gently down my face in a soft caress. He leans in, tentative and unsure and brushes his lips again mine. I sigh. He smiles shyly then presses his lips to mine and kisses me tenderly. He backs away and sits up then drags me into a sitting position and grasps my face between his hands. I feel his loving touch in my core. He lowers his mouth to mine again and kisses me harder and longer this time. I get lost in the innocent nature of this kiss as I move my hand slowly up his back and into his hair. He pulls away from me, leaving me breathless and wanting. "Wow. That really did felt like our first kiss."

"Except this time I was sure of myself and how you would react," he says, placing a swift, warm kiss on my exposed shoulder. "Massage my back and shoulders for one minute. I'll take that." He lies flat on his stomach and I straddle his hips, sitting on his behind. I run my hands up under his shirt and knead the hard muscles of his lower back. I hear him moan low and long. I pull my hands out from under his shirt and give him a quick shoulder rub until the timer goes off then get off of him. "Thank you. That was wonderful."

"You're welcome. Are you nervous about the baby?" I read.

"I'd being lying if I said I wasn't," he says. " _Three_ kids. They're going to outnumber us, Tris! I think I'd be more nervous if it wasn't for Tyler and Tessa though."

"I know what you mean," I say. "Adding Teagan to our family isn't what makes me nervous, it's giving birth to her. I'm not really looking forward to that part."

"You'll be fine. I'll be right there with you the entire time," he says. "What's your idea of a romantic evening?"

"What we're doing right now. Getting to know each other better," I say. I draw a slip of paper from the bowl and ask, "Would you like to get a piercing?"

"No, I have no desire to do that. Tattoos are more my thing," he says. "If you caught your best friend's significant other cheating would you tell them?"

"Um. Wow. This is hard. I honestly don't know," I say. "What if what I thought was cheating wasn't and it ruined their relationship? I guess if I saw Will actually having sex with someone else ... with my own eyes … then yes, I would tell her. Otherwise, no." I rifle through the bowl. "Give me oral sex for one minute." He grins at me lasciviously. He pushes me down on the pillows and raises my dress up to my waist. He slowly slides my panties down my legs and unceremoniously tosses them over his shoulder. He then parts my thighs and lies between them. I writhe against his tongue as he licks, sucks, and nibbles my nubbin.

"One minute isn't long enough," I pout when he takes his mouth away after the timer goes off. He laughs joyously and helps me sit up. He kisses me thoroughly, letting our tongues tangle.

"Do you talk about me with your friends and in how much detail?" Tobias asks after drawing.

"I do talk to Christina once in a while," I say. "I told her about the fear landscape room." This obviously surprises him. "She knew something was up because of Zeke's incessant questioning the night of the Candor or Dauntless party, and she kind of badgered it out of me. I normally don't go into detail at all because our lovemaking is ours. I've told her that."

"I love you," he says, absentmindedly running his fingers over the back of my hand in small circles.

"Worship my feet for two minutes," I read after I draw another piece of paper from the bowl.

"I love your feet." I lie back on the pillows and watch as he first slips off one shoe and then the next and sets them by the empty bags. He picks up my right foot and brings it to his mouth. He kisses the tip of each toe while gently rubbing the instep of my foot. I groan as I ponder the conflicting feelings he's producing. He continues with the relaxing foot massage as he draws each toe into his mouth one at a time, sucking them gently and swirling his tongue around. I felt it in my suddenly throbbing sex. I didn't know playing with my feet could be so arousing. He picks up my left foot, repeating each action. I take my right foot and rub his straining bulge with my toes. I see the candlelight reflected in his dark eyes and I'm completely at his mercy. "There," he says putting my foot down, "your feet are thoroughly worshipped." _That they are._ "Have you ever told me that you like something I've done to you but really didn't?" Hhm?

"No," I say. "I've loved everything you've ever done to me. What's your favorite thing about you being on top and me being on top?"

"Well, I love watching you when you're on top, seeing the determination on your face to make us come. I also love watching you ride me. The way I repeatedly disappear into your body. It's fucking hot."

" _Tobias_ ," I scold, my face flushing.

"As for me being on top," he says. "I love the look in your eyes. I can tell you genuinely love it that way."

"One of my favorites," I whisper. He picks up my teasing foot and moves it away from his erection then he hovers over me, avoiding my belly.

"Where do you like being kissed the most?" he asks. I didn't even see him draw the paper he's holding, my eyes have been fixed to his, mesmerized. _Where_ do _I like being kissed the most?_

"I love it when you kiss me everywhere but the first place that came to mind is right here." I point to the left side of my neck. He smiles and lowers his mouth to my left ear. I run my hands up and down his back while he kisses my neck and ear. "In your next life, would you still want me to be your lover?"

"Of course," he says, his tongue gliding up my ear. "If we had to have a threesome would you want it with an additional man or woman?"

"A man because I can't stand the thought of you with another woman but just for the record, _that_ is never happening."

"Me with another woman?"

"A three way," I say, a disturbing chill running through me. "Or you with another woman." I choose another slip of paper. "Add a place to your list for us to 'christen.'"

"Let's see," he murmurs. He gazes into my eyes, a thoughtful expression on his face. "The hot tub, here on the rooftop deck."

"I was thinking more along the lines of the middle of that abandoned, rundown stadium that's north of the Navy Pier, although every room of the new apartment sounds stimulating."

"That old baseball stadium? Okay. Consider it added." I'm suddenly giddy at the prospect of another place to "christen" in the city. We are getting brazen. What am I saying? We _are_ brazen.

"What turns you on almost instantly?" he asks.

"You … naked," I say with a blush. Just the thought of him without clothes makes me throb with desire. "Would you like to be spanked?"

"No, but I'll spank you," he says. "My beautiful, naughty girl." That might not be terrible. I don't know. I've never thought of spanking. I run my hands up and down his back and press my body to him. "Let me watch you touch yourself until you come." His voice is quiet yet husky. I didn't write that so it must be something he wants to see. I slowly shake my head.

"I'm not sure I can do that, Tobias," I say, barely above a whisper.

"You've never touched yourself?"

"Never."

"Will you try, for me?" I stare at him and soon am lost in his dark blue eyes. I can't believe what I'm contemplating. Unable to speak, I simply nod ... once. "I have an idea on what might make you more comfortable." He gets up and starts stripping out of his clothes. "If you notice, there's only one piece of paper left in the bowl, which means it's the second sex dare. I'll make love to you right after you come." He's standing before me, naked and aroused. I watch him close the glass wall we had left open then sit down with his back against one of the pillars. "Come here but you need to take that pretty dress off first." I somehow manage to make it to my feet, surprised my shaky knees are holding me. My whole body is trembling with anxiety … and anticipation I realize. I lift my dress up over my head and toss it to the ground then reach behind me and unhook my bra. I let it slide off my arms and toss it to the side with my dress. "God, you're beautiful. Absolutely perfect. I can't wait to be inside you. Come here." I finally manage to put one foot in front of the other and cross the short distance and kneel between his parted knees. "Sit in front of me with your back against me." Hhm. Not how I thought he'd like me to be. I turn around and sit down then lean up against his chest. "Love, you're shaking. You don't have to do this." I turn and meet his guilty gaze.

"You wanted me to try," I softly say. "I want to try."

"I'm not making you do anything you're uncomfortable with," he says. "I don't want you hating me when this night is over. This is supposed to be a fun, sexy game, letting us explore each other. I'll just make love to you." He leans toward me and I put my hand on his hard chest. Part of me wants to give in and make love the rest of the evening but there's a smaller part that wants to try and face my fear and make him happy.

"I'm just nervous, Tobias," I say. "I want to try … for you." I lean up and kiss him softly. "Another thing, I could never hate you. You're the other half of my heart. I _love_ you." He kisses me again, more passionately this time. "Why do you want me leaning against you? I thought you wanted to watch." My voice is soft and shy again.

"I'm going to help you," he roughly says. "I love that you're willing to try. You amaze me. You're so brave." Something shifts inside me and 99% of my nervousness is overtaken by the anticipation. _He thinks I'm bra_ ve. I _am_ brave. I can do this for him just this once. I turn back around and lean against his chest. "You asked why I wanted you to sit this way. First, look straight ahead. I _can_ see you." My eyes focus on the glass wall and I'm surprised. It's acting as a mirror of sorts. We learned about light reflection in upper levels but I don't really understand it. All I know is that all the light we have out here … the candles, the soft white glow from the rope lighting that runs along the pergola I had never noticed before, and the lights of the city … is reflecting off the window letting us see our reflections. "Second, my hands are going to be right alongside yours. I touch you, you touch you." He kisses my neck and a shiver of anticipation goes down my spine. "Sit the way I'm sitting." His voice is husky, betraying how much he wants to do this. I look at him. He's reclined slightly with his legs wide and slightly bent at the knees. I make my body mimic his, sitting wide legged, giving him access to the left side of my neck. I go so far as to rest my legs against his. "Ready, love?" He kisses my neck again.

"Yeah," I breathily say. Hell, my voice is betraying _my_ arousal. He takes me by surprise by first running both his hands over my expanded abdomen. His touch is gentle, featherlight. He runs his fingertips up and over.

"Your turn." I swallow down my apprehension and follow the same path that his hands just took. I feel his heavy breathing on my neck as I put my hands on top of my bump and slowly circle it once then again before dragging my fingers up and over my tummy just like he did. It's surprisingly relaxing and arousing at the same time. He slowly moves his hands from where they've been resting on my hips, gliding the very tips of his fingers up my heated, flushed body and palms both my aching breasts. He caresses and massages them gently until they are swollen and throbbing with need. I moan when I feel him start rolling my sensitive nipples between his calloused fingertips, knowing what I need. He knows my body so well. I bite my bottom lip to keep from screaming out and grasp his legs tightly, causing him to cry out.

"Sorry," I mumble, surprised that a sound comes out since my breath is rushing in and out of my lungs.

"It's okay, love," he raspingly says in my ear. "Do you like my hands on you?"

"Oh, yes," I say, enjoying every caress.

"I think it's your turn," he says and I tense up. "You have nothing to worry about. I'm here to help you the entire way. You can do this." He kisses my ear. I relax at his encouragement but I'm having trouble starting. My hands seem frozen in place. "Here, like this." He picks up my hands and gingerly presses them into my heaving chest then covers my small hands with his and starts massaging my aching breasts, making it feel like it's only my hands on me. My breath catches in my throat as he continues his kneading. "I'm going to take my hands away now." He removes his hands but mine keep moving, spurred on by the wonderful feeling. He kisses my neck as I rub my palms across my aching, sensitive nipples, stroking my breasts the way he does, the way I like. The touch is foreign yet the feeling it produces is exactly the same. "You're doing so well, love," he whispers in my ear. "You have no idea how much I like this." He's wrong about that. I can feel how much he likes this pressing into my lower back. He feels like a red-hot, satin-covered steel shaft at the moment. "Close your eyes and imagine that it's my hands on your beautiful, full breasts." He kisses my neck, and I whimper quietly. He knows what he's doing. I'm going to be orbiting the moon before I come down. I close my eyes and imagine that his fingers are the ones caressing, pinching, pulling, twisting, and rolling my small throbbing buds.

"Mmm," I moan.

"Feel good?" he utters in my ear.

"Yeah." Once again I feel his hands move from my hips and my breathing falters because I know where he's headed this time. I remove my hands from my breasts when I feel him searching my folds for his target. When he glides his middle finger over my nubbin I gasp.

"Tell me, do you like it like this?" He runs his finger with the lightest of touch up and down over my nubbin from top to bottom over and over. "Or do you prefer it this way?" He starts circling the now throbbing bundle of nerves imperceptibly harder. _Shit_! My hips start dancing to the rhythm his hand sets. He alternates between circles and straight lines, pressing just a little harder and rubbing just a little faster. My legs start to stiffen and my hips won't stay still. "I want you to take over, love."

"No," I groan. He has me so close, I don't want him to stop.

"You can do it," he says against my ear. "You've done so well. I want to see you make yourself come." He stills his finger, and I start whining quietly. He moves my hand and places it between my outstretched thighs. This seems so naughty. I know I wouldn't be doing this if he weren't encouraging me. I start moving my fingers over my aching nubbin slowly at first and I moan … loudly. I increase the speed and pressure, my orgasm building back up quickly. Once again I find myself on the edge. He cups my breasts and massages them as I circle my nubbin over and over. I open my eyes and see that his eyes are transfixed on the image reflecting back at us. I squeeze my eyes shut, blocking out the reflection and instead fantasize that it's Tobias' able fingers bringing me closer and closer to heaven. My hips are swinging and swaying, and my legs are stiffening again. "Baby you're so close. Are you going to come for me?" My entire body stiffen as what feels like a bolt of lightning rockets from my nubbin straight outward in all directions. My fingers still but he puts his hand over them and continues a frantic pace through several mini shocks and spasms until I ride the intense orgasm to completion. He lets me catch my breath for a second then turns my head and captures my mouth with his in a need-filled kiss bordering on violent. He thrusts his tongue through my lips and ravages my mouth. The feelings radiating off him at the moment are intense, and I don't quite understand. He finally releases me, and I pull in lungful's of much-needed air. "God, I love you. That was fucking amazing, pure and simple." I sit up straight and turn toward him suddenly feeling shy in front of him for the first time in ages. When I drag my eyes up to meet his, his face falls. "Are you alright?" I nod. "You're blushing, love. You shouldn't be embarrassed."

"I never thought I would do that," I whisper.

"Did I make you do something you didn't want to do?" His voice is full of anxiety.

"No, baby," I murmur, closing my eyes. "Don't think that. If I didn't want to do it, I wouldn't have. It's just … I never thought I would do that and certainly not in front of you."

"Look at me Beatrice Grace," he firmly but lovingly says. I slowly raise my eyelids and meet his burning gaze. "Did you enjoy yourself at all?" I take a deep breath.

"Yes." My eyes flicker down and his erection catches my attention. It looks like it's painful. "Do you need some help with that?" Before I give him the chance to answer, I lean down and take him in my mouth. After a couple of up and down passes, he explodes. _Wow, that was quick._ I keep him in my mouth until he releases fully then kiss his manhood.

"Thanks for that," he quietly says, flushing. I think he's embarrassed that he came so fast.

"I've never seen you that turned on before," I say.

"I wouldn't have lasted for a second inside of you."

"Will you do something for me?" I ask as I run my fingers over his mouth. He nods. "I want you to make love to me again then I want to sleep under the stars tonight."

"It would be my pleasure," he says, picking up the can of whipped cream he brought with us.

"It'll be my pleasure, too," I say with a giggle.


	30. Chapter 30

I groan into my pillow when Tessa's incessant fussing through the baby monitor wakes me up about 10 minutes before our alarm is set to go off. I shouldn't complain though, she slept almost six full hours last night. She's such a remarkable baby. I swing my legs over the side of the bed and reach for my robe. I slide it on as my feet hit the ground then I quietly make my way into her room. She's whining loudly and on the verge of a full-blown meltdown, which neither of us want. I change her into a dry diaper then sit down in her rocker. She smiles up at me as she latches onto my nipple and tears spring to my eyes. She was 12 weeks old yesterday. Time is going by entirely too fast. It seems just like yesterday that I held her in my arms for the first time and now she rolls over, smiles brightly at everyone, and laughs out loud. I love her milestones but I worry that I'll start missing them since I've gone back to work, and I don't want to miss a thing.

"Love, what's wrong?" Tobias asks as he pads into the room, his concern for me evident. He's been so loving with me during this pregnancy and patient with my irrational mood swings.

"She's growing so fast," I whisper, emotion choking me. He runs the back of his fingers gently down the side of my face, wiping away some of my tears. "Do you remember a conversation we had a while ago about me working?"

"Yeah," he slowly says, obviously wondering where this is going.

"I've made a decision, Tobias," I say. "I want to work from the Pire, unless there's an emergency, of course, but I only want to work Monday through Friday with reduced hours, perhaps 10-4 or 10-6. I know it means a pay cut but I'm more than okay with that. I want to spend more time with the kids but I don't think I would feel like _me_ without my job. Tori will become your second, and I'll take over Harrison's duties. I'll keep my seat on the council though since it's been decided that all meetings will now be held inside the city on a three-month rotating schedule. I'm already familiar with the duties and the other representatives, and it isn't time consuming. I also think we should hire a nanny like Will and Christina did for Liam."

"You really have been thinking about this," he says. "I'm behind you 100% if this is what you _really_ want."

"It is," I say. "And one more thing," I take a deep breath to steady my nerves, "I don't want to train the initiates after this year. When I agreed to do this with you, we didn't have a family. I honestly feel like we're neglecting Tyler and Tessa with the amount of time we're with the misfits throughout the day and with all the extra time at home we spend on paperwork."

"Okay," he says, surprising me. I thought I'd have a fight on my hand with this news. "I actually have been having the same thoughts running through my mind. I miss spending time with the kids, and it's hard trying to juggle everything. I think the transfers will be better off with someone who can focus all their attention on them in the future."

"Wow, we made a lot of decisions today, and it's barely 6 a.m.," I say. "Do you think Tori, Will, and Harrison will be okay with my reduced hours?"

"Yeah, they will," he says. "We've had this discussion also. They thought you would quit. They're going to be thrilled you've decided to continue. You make one hell of a leader, Tris." I blush at his unexpected compliment. "I better wake up Tyler and get him ready." He gives me a soft kiss before he kisses Tessa's head then turns for the door.

"What time do we have to be at the train?" I ask. It must be pregnancy brain because I should know this.

"The operator is stopping the train for us at 7:55 so we can get on. I told the transfers that they are to be at the platform no later than 7:50," he says. "Do you want breakfast here or in the cafeteria?"

"I think I would like to go to the cafeteria this morning," I say. "Hey, let's not tell Tyler we're getting off early. I want it to be a surprise." We should be back home for the day between 1:00 and 2:00 this afternoon and decided to take the kids to the swimming pool. We thought about taking them to the park but they just went with the Parrishs on Friday.

"Okay," he says. About five minutes later, Tyler runs by the door on his way to the bathroom. I'm very proud of him. He's been so easy to potty train. He made it seem effortless. I hope the girls will be just as easy.

"Hi, Mommy," he says from the doorway on his way back to his bedroom.

"Good morning, Tyler," I say. "Did you sleep well?" He nods his head up and down. "You better go get dressed. We're going to the cafeteria for breakfast. What sounds good to you?"

"Toast," he says.

"French toast?" I ask, knowing that's what he means.

"Yeah and bacon," he says.

"That does sound pretty good actually," I say, my stomach grumbling at the mention of food. "Go find Daddy."

"Otay, Mommy," he says. I finish nursing Tessa and change her into a white bubble romper covered in gray and black polka dots and put a black bow headband with white and gray polka dots on her head. She looks adorable. I take her downstairs and put her in her swing before I excuse myself so that I can get ready for the day. I shower, dry my hair, and dress in a black maternity tank top, yoga pants, and running shoes. The minute I walk into the living room, we head out the door, Tyler on Tobias' shoulders and Tessa in my arms. It doesn't seem like it takes us any time at all to reach the Pit. When we enter the cafeteria, I hand Tessa to her father and take Tyler through the food line and get us each a plate of French toast, bacon, and mixed fruit but I add some scrambled eggs to mine. I'm starving this morning. At my next appointment with Isobel I'm going to have to ask if this is normal. It feels like I'm a bottomless pit all of a sudden.

"Hi, guys," everyone says as Tyler and I sit down.

"I think I'll take this one and show her off a little," Tobias says as he gets up from the table with Tessa in his arms. I watch member after member come up to him to say hello and take in our sweet angel. Avery walks up to them and peppers her face with kisses, gaining a laugh from Tessa and a smile from Tobias. I'm smiling at the unfolding scene until I see Olivia walk up to them. I notice the nearly imperceptible difference in his stance as she stands before him. I know she makes him uncomfortable. She steps forward and puts her hands on _my_ daughter, and I see red. That bitch better back away. Tobias shakes his head at her then literally turns and walks to the food line. She must feel my eyes on her because she turns and smirks my direction before returning to her place between Grant and Jesse. If she's not careful, I'm going to have to kick her ass. Tobias returns to the table with a full plate of scrambled eggs, sausage patties, hashed browns, and wheat toast with honey butter and sits next to me keeping Tessa in his arms. I push my still full plate away, suddenly not hungry anymore. I know my jealousy is irrational but she's playing some kind of game, and the sooner I figure out what it is the better.

"You're not going to finish?" Tobias quietly asks. I shake my head. He looks deeply into my eyes and says, "Peanut needs to eat." He's right; he's _always_ right. I sigh and pull my plate back and continue eating.

"What's on the agenda today for the initiates?" Ciara asks. She's looking a bit green this morning. I'm sure her morning sickness is bothering her.

"Fence tour," Christina says. "Then we get the rest of the day off." Tyler looks up at me with expectation on his face. _Well there goes the surprise._

"You off?" he asks with wide eyes.

"Daddy and I have to work this morning but we're off this afternoon," I say. "We're going to the pool after lunch."

"Pool! Yeah!" he says, clapping his hands together.

Christina leans close to me and says, "Did I ruin a surprise?"

"It's okay," I say.

"Will you guys be at supper?" Will asks.

"I don't know," Tobias says. "We haven't talked about it yet. All I know is Tris and I are spending as much time as possible with the kids today." I see a ghost of a frown on his face like he's not pleased with Tobias' answer.

"What are you guys doing tonight?" I ask them.

"Staying home," Will says in a rush. He pulls his phone out of his pocket, looks at the screen, and brusquely says, "I've got to take this." He quickly gets up and walks away from the table. Christina narrows her eyes at him, and I can't help but join her. He's acting _very_ strange right now. I wonder what's up with him. I'll have to ask her after we get on the train.

"We better get Tyler and Tessa to daycare," Tobias says as our friends chatter about this and that around the breakfast table.

"Okay," I say. "Give me Tessa please." I hold my arms out, and he surrenders her to me. She smiles at me and coos. I feel better having my arms around our daughter. I hold her up and kiss her cheek, and she laughs out loud. "I'm going to miss you this morning, little one. You, too, buddy." I lean over and give Tyler a kiss, and he grins at me. "Uriah, Christina, we'll see you at the train. Bye." Tobias swings Tyler up into his arms, and we head toward the exit.

"Are you upset with me?" he asks. I furrow my brows at him. Why would he think that?

"No," I say. "Why would I be mad at you?" He doesn't say anything. "What did she want?"

"To hold Tessa. I told her no," he says.

"It's a damn good thing you did," I mutter under my breath. "Do you think I'm overreacting about her? She's up to something. I can feel it."

"I'm not going to disagree but maybe this is a little bit about hormones." _Now_ I'm mad. I stop and glare at him, and his face falls. "I'm sorry."

" _You better be,"_ I mutter under my breath _._ We walk in silence the rest of the way to the daycare center. When we open the door, we nearly run into a young couple coming out. They look to be in a terrible hurry.

"I'm sorry," I say, standing out of their way.

"Excuse us," the woman quietly says, her head bowed and eyes averted. I see his eyes dart in her direction but he says nothing, and they continue on their way.

"Good morning, Tris, Four," Mrs. Wheeler says as we enter the room. "Oh, Tessa, don't you look cute today. Hello, Tyler. You look equally handsome." She earns smiles from both my children.

"Good morning, Mrs. Wheeler," I say. "Today should be an early day. We only have to do the fence tour then we'll be back to pick them up. Tessa ate at around 6 a.m. Here's the diaper bag." First she puts the bag over her shoulder then I hand off Tessa who starts whining. "She's had a stimulating morning so she's probably ready for a nap."

"Bye, Mommy!" Tyler says. "I play with Zane now. Bye, Daddy." He waits long enough for each of us to give him a hug and a kiss then he's off like a rocket.

"I'm sorry," Tobias says when we're halfway up the path to the Pire. I sigh and take his hand, needing contact.

"I'm the one who should apologize," I say, glancing up at him. "Giving you the silent treatment is childish." He abruptly stops after he glances at his watch and pulls me into his arms.

"Please don't let Olivia come between us," he says. "I have zero interest in her but I'm confident you know that. I'd never do anything to hurt you. We have too much to lose." He leans in for a kiss and I stop him. Suddenly he looks wounded.

"We shouldn't be kissing right now," I say. "We're on the clock."

"I could care less." His lips brush against mine, and I feel all the tension leave my body. I mold myself to him the best I can, and we deepen the kiss. I run my hands up under his body-hugging t-shirt and he fists his fingers in my hair. He thrusts his expert tongue into my mouth and claims it as his own, and I moan against his lips. The feel of his erection pressing against me snaps me out of my desire-laced fog. We got carried away and now he wants me. Who the hell am I kidding, I want him, too. I back away and look up shyly at him.

"I'm sorry," I say. My voice is husky, sultry.

"No, I'm sorry. I got carried away," he says, his voice betraying his arousal also. "If we didn't have to be at the train, I'd pull you into a dark corner and have my way with you." I hear a low feral growl, and it takes me a second to realize that it came from me.

"I wish we had the time," I say.

"But we don't," he finishes. _No, we don't._ I take his hand, and we continue our journey to the train. All of a sudden I realize just how giddy I am. It's been months since I've been on a train. _When?_ Oh, yeah! My wedding night and I blush.

"What are you thinking about?" he asks as we walk outside.

"The last time I was on a train," I say, blushing red once again. He frowns a bit then his eyes light up with knowing.

"Our wedding night," he says. "You were so beautiful in your white dress and equally stunning out of it." He rubs little circles on the back of my hand with his thumb, and I feel it in my core. I close my eyes and take a deep cleansing breath. In less than five minutes we're going to be surrounded not only by the initiates but Uriah and Christina as well, and we don't need any more jokes at our expense for the rest of our lives.

"I love you, Tobias Eaton," I say when we reach the deserted train platform. "I would like one more kiss then we can go back to be instructors." He smiles brightly as he wraps his arms around my waist, and I stretch up and put my arms around his neck.

"I love you, too, my Beatrice Grace," he says with a shy sexy smile unfurling on his face. "Another kiss would be my pleasure." I don't know how he does it but he completely seduces me again. I raise my mouth to his and kiss him mind-blowingly slowly, savoring every brush of his tongue against mine and the feel of his lips leisurely moving against mine.

"Get a room," Christina says with a giggle. "I told you, Tris, that you can't keep your hands off him." I quickly scan our surroundings but the initiates are nowhere to be found.

"I was just telling my husband that I love him," I say, sounding more annoyed than I feel.

"That wasn't talking," Uriah says with a sly grin on his face. Sometimes he really acts like Zeke.

"So, how are the Dauntless-born coming along?" I ask, changing the subject.

"They're all sleep deprived," Christina says. "I imagine that most of them will go back to the dorm after the field trip and catch up on their sleep."

"Murphy?" Tobias and I say at the same time.

"Yeah," Uriah says. "She cries all night." Al's nocturnal weeping comes unbidden to me, and I can sympathize with them. "It's too bad you didn't take her to your dorm as well then your initiates would be dragging."

"How's Avery and Callen doing?" I ask.

"Excellent," Uriah says. "Really, they are two of our best. Some of the guys are bigger and stronger but Avery especially is more consistent. She really is a joy to have around."

"Speak of the devil," I say as Avery and Callen walk up to us hand in hand. "Good morning."

"Good morning, Tris, Four," Avery says. "Tessa looked so cute this morning. I swear she's changed since last Sunday night."

"She's growing like a weed," Tobias says. "She was happy to see you this morning. When initiation is over don't hesitate to stop and see the kids. They love you."

"Thanks, Four," she says. "I'll have to take you up on your offer." Slowly all the initiates make their way to the platform to wait for the train.

"Listen up," Tobias says in full Four mode when we see the light from the train in the distance. The initiates immediately quiet down, fearful of his wrath no doubt. "Normally we would be jumping onto the train but with Tris accompanying us, the train will be making a scheduled stop at 7:55. Once we're all onboard, we'll make our way to the fence, which will take a little over an hour. After the tour, we'll board the next train that will bring us back here. After that, you are free for the rest of the day. Just remember, don't leave the compound and be in the training room at 8 a.m. tomorrow."

We all flinch away from the deafening squeal of the train's brakes as it glides to a stop right in front of us. Tobias effortlessly pulls himself up into the car then turns to helps me on. I have a little bit of trouble, which he immediately notices so he basically takes me under the arms and lifts me into the car, sitting me on my feet right next to him. It causes me to blush. I haven't had this much trouble getting on a train since the day after Peter won our fight during initiation. I sit on the bench opposite the door and watch all the Dauntless-born and transfers climb inside. When they're all on board, Christina and Uriah join us. The train slowly takes off a minute later and Christina joins me on the bench. We talk about the kids for a while then I ask her about Will.

"What's up with Will?" I ask. "Is everything okay?" Suddenly I remember that his sister and my brother got engaged. Is this the source of his foul mood?

"I don't know, Tris," she says with a sigh. "He's been extremely moody for about a week and has been spending a lot of time away from home. I hate that you picked up on the tension." She looks around us and lowers her voice. "I think he's having an affair."

"Christina!" I say in an admonishing yet quiet voice. "There's no way. He loves you. He wouldn't betray you like that."

"Can you think of any other explanation?" she asks.

"Has he talked to Cara recently?" I ask trying to sound as nonchalant as possible and she smiles at me.

"Yeah, he knows about Caleb and Cara's engagement. He's over the moon about it. He really likes your brother." _Well that's not it then._

"You're probably sick of this advice but … you need to talk to him," I say. "Please tell me you're not still afraid to sit down and have a heart-to-heart with him."

"What if he leaves me, Tris? I wouldn't survive that. He could take Liam from me." I see tears shining in her eyes.

"I don't know what's going on with him but I know without a doubt that Will Drake loves you more than anyone, well except for maybe your beautiful son. Christina you need to have more confidence in yourself and in Will. Everything will work out. You'll see." She sits stoically beside me for the remainder of the ride to the fence. I think about her fears and know deep down in my heart that they are unfounded. Will having an affair? Impossible.

My eyes wander around the crowded car until they land on Tobias. He's standing next to the open door, looking at the passing scenery. His Four mask is firmly in place, and I can't tell how he's feeling or what he might be thinking about. He must sense my stare because he turns his head and our eyes lock, and suddenly it's as if we're the only two on the train. His heated gaze is interrupted by shouting from the back of the car. Automatically, Tobias, Uriah, Christina, and I wade through the initiates to where the noise is coming from. Alec and Callen are standing nose to nose with the Dauntless-born and transfers standing around them, drawing battle lines.

"Callen!" I angrily shout, drawing his attention. "Here. Now." He glares at Alec a final time then comes to stand before me. He boldly holds his head high, which is unusual for him. He's usually shy. I stare at him and after a moment he begins to shrink back. Just because he's my cousin doesn't mean he gets special treatment. "Explain." He drops his head and stands mute before me. _What's going through your mind, Callen?_ I'm about to unload on him when I notice a tear fall to the floor. He's crying. What's this about? "Don't move from this spot. I'm not done with you."

"I don't know what his problem is," I hear Alec say when I reach Tobias' side. "Every time I see him, he's angry and rude. I told him to back off." I sigh.

"Did he say anything?" Tobias asks. Carefully broaching this subject could very well open a can of worms. I'm not sure how many people in this car know of his involvement in the death of hundreds of people. Although he wasn't directly involved in a murder, he did attack Hana. I'm surprised Uriah can stand to be in the same space as him. But on the other hand, he has no knowledge of that part of his life. He knows of his father's involvement but the memory serum administered shortly before the Choosing Ceremony erased his part in the conspiracy. Right now, according to our laws, he's a totally innocent young man.

"He wasn't making any sense," he says. "He was babbling about his mother and brother but I don't know who they are." The grating sound of metal on metal echoes throughout the car right before we all lurch forward as the train once again glides to a stop.

"I need you all to listen and listen good," Tobias says then looks at the group of transfers who are gathered around Alec in a show of support. "You aren't members of Candor, Erudite, Amity, or the factionless anymore. You are Dauntless initiates." Then he looks toward the Dauntless-born who have protectively stepped in front of Callen. "And you all are not Dauntless members. You are Dauntless initiates. That makes you equal. I will not _tolerate_ infighting in my faction. Callen, Alec, if you two continue your behavior, I will drag your asses to the training room and put you on the mat and let you work out your differences that way. Am I clear?" The silence in the car is eerie. When no one says a word, Tobias says in his low, intimidating Four voice, "Do I need to repeat myself? Am. I. Clear?"

"Yes, Four," they all say at once.

"I expect your best behavior while we're here," he says, sounding exasperated. He jumps out of the car and turns to help me. I put my hands on his shoulders to steady myself as he grabs my waist and lifts me out of the car.

"Thank you, Four," I say.

"You're welcome, Tris," he says. I stand under the faded, weathered canopy that people use as a place to wait for the train, watching the initiates. Some jump while others carefully lower themselves to the ground. I look around, taking in the scenery but there's nothing else out here except for yellow fields, train tracks, and the fence, which stretches as far as the eye can see in both directions. I look toward the lighthouse but unfortunately can't see it from here. All I see is an occasional tree and the Amity crops. Sometime during the past year they took the grove of mostly dead trees down.

"I'm going to talk to Callen," I say to Tobias who acknowledges my statement with a simple nod. "We'll catch up with you when we're finished. I think this is more important than the fence tour. Callen, with me." He sighs but says nothing. We watch as everyone follows Tobias to the gate.

"I'm sorry, Tris," he says, preemptively. "I can't stand that he's alive and my mom and brother are dead. I know what they did was horrible but I loved them … I _love_ them. I miss my mom every single day. It's hard to be without her and be forced to endure his presence."

"Callen, I'm so sorry," I say. "I've never taken into account how Dru and Cameron's deaths might have affected you. You and your Dad are the innocent ones in all this. Unfortunately, for whatever reason your mom decided to involve your brother in her vendetta, Alec's dad did the same. He fell victim to their brainwashing. The difference is your brother killed people. Alec was spared because Hana survived her attack.

"This may be hard to hear and harder to accept but Alec is not responsible for his actions, especially now. He spent six months in jail then had his involvement in the Divergent plot erased from his memory. If you try to talk to him about it, he's not going to have a clue as to what you're talking about, and you're going to come across as a raving lunatic, which we both know you're not."

"What am I supposed to do, Tris?" he asks, tears swimming I his eyes. I want to wrap my arms around him and tell him that it will all be okay but I know he wouldn't want me to.

"The first thing you need to do is accept that the Alec Parrish who helped with the plot to kill hundreds of people died alongside your mom and brother and all the rest of the people who helped in their plan. Second, you need to forgive him. He has no clue what he did unless someone tells him and I'm not sure that is necessary. I've gotten to know him a little this past week, and he's a good kid, just like you. I won't lie, I was apprehensive when I first saw him in the net but that feeling has evaporated."

"I'm not sure I can do it," he says.

"Try, Callen," I say, "for your peace of mind."

"Okay," he says

"That's all I can ask of you," I say.

"I really am sorry, Tris," he says. "All I've ever wanted was to be a Dauntless member and I'm putting it in jeopardy."

"It's best that you remember that and act accordingly," I sternly say. "We better catch up with the others." We walk along the tall chain link fence that is topped with barbed wire, ignoring the stares of the armed Dauntless fence guards on the other side, to where the group of initiates are standing by the massive gate. Uriah is just finishing his spiel on the history of the fence, and Christina takes over.

"If you don't rank in the top five, you'll probably end up here at the fence," Christina says. I find myself swaying from foot to foot, wishing I could sit down. My back is bothering me quite a bit today. "Once you're a fence guard there is very little potential for advancement. Most fence workers do it for life." She practically took her lecture word or word from the manual.

"Fence workers patrol the outside perimeter of the fence and are responsible for its integrity," Tobias says. "They mend holes or any other damage caused by weather, time, and the occasional wild animal trying to get in. They also patrol Amity and its outskirts."

"Why?" Declan, a Dauntless-born initiate, asks.

"I guess you'll find out of you become a fence worker," he answers. Perimeter safety is considered top secret, although I can't imagine why. There's nothing out there. _Right_?

"Tris?" a familiar voice says. I look down the fence and see Gunner.

"I'll be right back," I tell Tobias.

"Okay," he says.

"Hi," I say when I reach him. "Thank you for meeting me here."

"No problem. This way neither one of us had to travel too far," he says. He slides a long, narrow tube through the fence to me. "There are two separate schematics in there. You and Four look them over and tell me which one you've decide on then I'll get to work on the furniture. Have you thought of mural designs for the nursery and playroom?"

"Not yet," I say. "How do you usually paint a mural?"

"I've only painted two," he says. "The first was inspired by a photograph and the second I came up with a sketch based on what the client wanted."

"I'll try to make a decision about the murals soon," I say. "Thank you so much for agreeing to do this. We really appreciate it. Tyler's going to love it. Four and I will look them over tonight, and I'll call you with our decision in a day or two. Thanks again, Gunner."

"You're welcome, Tris," he says. "It's always a pleasure working with you. I'll be looking forward to your call." I walk back toward the initiates, wondering what his drawings of Tyler's room look like.

I find the group watching a big Amity truck coming into the city filled with bushels of produce. I quickly scan the faces but don't see Tobias. He must be on the other side. I wave at the truck driver as I walk in front of the big rig, and once I come around the corner, I stop in my tracks. There standing on the right side of the open gate is Tobias looking ... nervous? No, that's not right. He's uncomfortable. Olivia is within inches of him, invading his personal space. I watch unseen as she reaches up and slowly but flirtatiously drags a single finger down his chest, and I gasp causing them to look my way. Tobias looks shocked and irritated. Olivia just looks arrogant. Rage flows through my veins like hot molten lava. That little _bitch_. I'd like to punch that smirk right off her face. I've had about enough of her shit. It's time to show her just who she's messing with.

"Would you kindly take your hands off my _husband_ ," I quietly yet firmly say, agitation and loathing clear in my voice. Her eyes widen when she hears the word husband roll off my tongue, and her eyes flicker from my face to his and back again. "Yeah, we're married." Her stunned expression transforms into one of superiority, then she turns her attention back to him.

"Tobias Eaton! You really should have told me you two were married before you kissed me," she says. _What the fuck_?I gasp unable to hide my shock but quickly compose myself. My eyes flicker to his, and he looks to be in complete shock, mouth agape, looking less like Four than I've ever seen him. _Tobias Eaton_? How the _hell_ does this bitch know his name? _He kissed her?_ No, I don't believe that for one second. He wouldn't do that to me. I look back toward her, and I see an unnamed challenge in her eyes and realize this is a game to her. I take two steps forward and put myself between her and my husband, getting in her face.

"I don't know how you learned my husband's name but I do know _he_ didn't tell you, and I also know he would never break our wedding vows so your weak attempt to drive a wedge between us has failed," I say, my voice cool and calm, not betraying the murderous rage I'm feeling at the moment. "There is something that you best remember, Olivia, Four and I are your _leaders_ and your actions are very inappropriate even if he was single. I knew that you would make a play for him, I just didn't think it would be so soon. I don't know what your game is here but I intend to find out." Disappointment flashes on her face before an irksome condescension settles in.

"He'll be mine one day, _Tris_ ," she says with a flip of her hair. "You can count on that." Then she turns her back on me. I lunge at her as she walks away but Tobias captures me in his strong arms, holding me in place. I turn in his embrace and look up at him. Anxiety fills his features.

"I never kissed her. I swear," he emphatically says, disgust evident in his voice. "She cornered me right before you came around the front of the truck. I shouldn't have allowed myself to get separated from the rest of the group even for one second." He shakes his head. "One minute, I'm showing the initiates the gate the next she was pressed up against me telling me what she would like to do to me. I was getting ready to push her away and put her in her place but then I saw your face and I just froze. I hope you believe me."

"Of course, I believe you," I say and he physically relaxes. "How the hell does she know your name?"

"I have no idea, love," he says. "You could have knocked me over with a feather when she said that."

"What can we do about her? I want her gone. She's trouble with a capital T and not only for us but for Dauntless as well," I say. "I can feel it."

"Unfortunately, she hasn't done anything to get kicked out … yet. Give her time," he says. "First infraction and she's gone, I promise." I look around and see we're still alone so I raise up on my tiptoes and draw his mouth to mine for a quick passionate kiss.

"No one is going to come between us," I say, ardently. "I won't allow it."

"Definitely not a little piece of trash like her," he says. "We better get back to the fence tour."


	31. Chapter 31

Tobias and I decide to take the kids to the cafeteria for lunch after we pick them up from daycare. Tyler was so excited to see us get there even earlier than expected. I talked to Christina on our way home from the fence about what Olivia did and asked her advice. She told me to keep my eyes on her and trust Tobias unless he gives me a reason to doubt him. I had to grin at her. That was the exact same advice I gave to her about Will on multiple occasions. Uriah overheard our conversation and was aghast at what she did. He, too, gave his two cents worth, saying that she needs to go sooner than later, that she isn't the type of Dauntless member we want. He's absolutely right. My biggest concern is that she's up to something and by the time we figure out what it is, all hell will have already broken out.

"When we go to pool?" Tyler asks when we finish our lunch of burgers, fries, garden salad, and small slivers of cake. He's so excited that he's nearly bouncing off the walls. He _is_ bouncing in his seat.

"Soon," Tobias says. "We have to wait for a little while after we eat before we can get in the water."

"Otay," he says.

"Anything exciting happen at the fence?" Zeke asks. My mind automatically goes to Olivia and her antics and I scowl menacingly. I may not know what she's planning but her endgame is _my_ husband. That will happen over my dead body.

"No, just the usual," Uriah says. "Oh, I thought Callen was going to throw Alec from the train. That was exciting."

"I'd pay to see that," Zeke mutters. I understand their grudge. It's perfectly natural. I would feel the same way if someone attacked my mom but Alec's already been punished for his crime. It's time we all accept it and move on.

"I told them I'd let them beat the snot out of each other but it had to be in the training room on the mat," Tobias says.

"If that were to happen, Alec wouldn't have the slightest idea why they were fighting," I say. Zeke and Uriah look at me disbelievingly. "I'll tell you two like I told Callen, the Alec Parrish who participated in the attack on your mother died alongside all the others. He has no memory of what happened. I know what he did was wrong, and I don't expect you two to get over it anytime soon but maybe you should try forgiving him."

"Forgive the person who almost took our mother away from us?" Uriah scoffs. "I don't think so."

"It may be him in body but it's not him in spirit," I say.

"He really is a nice kid," Tobias says. "That being said, we're not telling you to forgive and forget but maybe give him the benefit of the doubt until he proves to be untrustworthy." That's good advice.

"We'll try," Zeke says but Uriah just mumbles incoherently under his breath. Christina falls into the seat next to me looking upset. I wonder where she's been.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Will!" she says. "He's driving me crazy. I caught him texting someone, and when I asked who it was, he changed the subject. I tried to get into his phone while he was in the bathroom, and it was locked. He never locks his phone, Tris. He's cheating. I just know it." Not this again. I have to admit, his behavior looks bad but I'm not going to tell her that. There has to be a rational explanation for what he's doing.

"Talk. To. Him," I say. She has to be getting tired of me telling her this over and over. "Don't jump to conclusions. I know from experience that doing so will only get you into trouble."

"I wanted to talk to him but he said he was busy and left," she says. "I think we're done but he hasn't figured out a way to tell me yet."

"Come to the pool with us," I say, wanting to distract her for a while. "Have your nanny bring Liam down, and we'll make an afternoon of it."

"I don't want to intrude on your family day," she murmurs. "You aren't going to have many the next two months."

"You're family," Tobias says, surprising us both. I had no idea he was listening to our conversation. "Join us."

"Okay," she finally says. She drags her phone out of her pocket and dials her nanny, Fiona.

"We're going to take Tyler and Tessa to the pool now," I say. "We'll meet you there."

"Okay. I shouldn't be long," she says. "Thanks for inviting us along. If I had to sit at home and stew, I'd probably kick him out the minute I see him without listening to an explanation." After hugging her goodbye, Tobias and I take the kids to the hidden hallway that leads to the massive indoor pool room, which is actually located under the Pit. It's one of my favorite places in Dauntless but unfortunately we don't get to spend enough time here. Before we take the steps down into the sizable pool area, Tobias carries Tyler into the men's changing room, and I take Tessa into the woman's. She sits in her carrier staring up at me while I change into my black crossover halter neckline tankini with underbelly maternity bikini bottoms, matching underbelly-fit sarong, and black flip flops with a crystal flower design.

"Are you ready to get changed, little one?" I ask as I take her out of her carrier. She smiles a wide toothless grin that melts my heart, and I can't resist giving her a few kisses, which she coos at. "Mommy loves you, Tessa Beatrice." I take her cute bubble romper, headband, and diaper off then change her into the adorable white bikini top with a colorful leopard print design and matching swim diaper then put the large fuchsia flower headband that came with the suit on her head. She's at the height of fashion in her little swimsuit. I lock all our clothes in an available locker and put the padlock key in the diaper bag for safe keeping. I pick up Tessa, sling the diaper bag over my other shoulder, and grab ahold of her empty carrier and walk out into the hallway. I literally bump into Tobias and Tyler as they come out of the locker room, and we all laugh. "My-my! Don't my boys look handsome today?" They're wearing matching black swim trunks with yellow, gray, and white sea creatures all over them, and Tyler has on his favorite yellow shoes that look like little cartoon insects while Tobias has on a pair of generic-looking black flip flops.

"I think my girls look particularly stunning. Of course, they always do," Tobias says, his eyes leisurely running up and down my body. "Don't you agree, Tyler?"

"You pwetty, Mommy," he says, eyes shining with sincerity and love. "Tess cute, too."

"We thank you," I say with a coquettish grin.

"Here let me take this," Tobias says as he takes the carrier and diaper bag from me. I reach out and grasp Tyler's hand, and we slowly make our way down into the depths of this unexpected oasis. The room is cave-like and twice as tall as it is wide. The walls are magnificent. The higher sections are the typical dark-colored stone our home is etched from, and the lower walls have decorative stack stone the same color lining every available surface including the numerous pillars that flank the pool. There is plenty of artificial lighting on the pillars and walls and special moisture-resistant lighting recessed directly into the stone of the ceiling, casting a soft glow onto the focal point of the room – the aquamarine-tiled pool, which has large curved steps on each side for easy entrance and exit. There are several intimate alcoves of varying sizes built into the walls surrounding the pool. Some hold two lounge chairs while others hold as many as eight. One alcove houses the large round in-ground hot tub that fits 12 people. There are several wooden benches scattered throughout the room and a huge flat screen TV on the far wall. Unfortunately, Tobias and I have never taken advantage of this amenity Dauntless has to offer but we definitely will in the future. Maybe it should go on my list.

We head to the furthest alcove on the far wall to the separate play area where the large kiddie pool is complete with a whale fountain that sprays water 20 feet or so into the air, a waterslide flanked by fun-loving teddy bears wanting to slide with you, a large flower rain shower that kids and adults both can dance through, and little green turtle that the kids can ride on. We put our stuff down at one of the dozen or so tables in the room, and Tyler starts jumping up and down excitedly. By some miracle, we have the entire place to ourselves today.

"Please don't jump, Tyler," Tobias says. "The floor could be wet, and you might hurt yourself." He stops jumping and looks carefully at the floor, probably looking for wet spots. I step out of my shoes and shift Tessa into my other arm. I look back at Tyler who's now on his hands and knees, and I start laughing but he pays me no attention.

"Whatcha doing, buddy?" I ask. He looks up at me, perplexed.

"Lookin' for wet," he says.

"Daddy was telling you to quit jumping up and down because the floor _might_ be wet. I don't think it is right now but you shouldn't be jumping anyway. Remember the floor will be wet when we get out of the pool. Did you go potty?" Both he and Tobias look at me bashfully. "You need to go before you get in the pool, okay? You can come with me because I have to go, too."

"Okay," he says. I hand Tessa to her father, and he gives me a quick peck on my lips.

"Don't take Tess into pool," Tyler whines. Uh-oh, I hope he's not going to be cranky this afternoon. We go into the family bathroom around the corner and lock the door. He uses the child-sized toilet while I use the regular-sized one right next to him. I notice him staring at my belly with a frown.

"Is something wrong?" I ask.

"How baby get in you tummy?" _Oh, holy hell! Think fast, Tris._ I never asked this question as a child because I'm the youngest so I have no personal reference as to what the proper response is for a 2 year old. Too much information could confuse and scare him.

"Mommy and Daddy's love put her in there," I say. He's still staring, brows furrowed.

"How come you and Daddy didn't put _me_ in you tummy?" he asks.

"Well, I didn't know your daddy when you and Tessa were conceived," I say, adding his sister preemptively.

"Okay," he says with a brilliant smile. _Phew! Crisis averted._ We each wash our hands when we finish then head back to Tobias and Tessa, who have been joined by Christina and Liam who look cute in their blue and black kaleidoscope snake print tankini and dark blue swim diaper covered in lighter shades of blue whales.

"Chwissy, how Liam get out you tummy?" Tyler asks. _Oh, Tyler!_ She stands open-mouthed staring down at my son, silenced by his curiosity. I meet Tobias' eyes, and he too looks stunned.

"Tyler, buddy, when Liam was ready to come out, Christina went to the hospital, and the doctor helped take him out. It will be the same for me when your sister is ready to come out but that won't be for a while," I say hoping this line of questioning ceases soon. He looks from me to Christina and back again curiously. Just as I think we're going to get another question, he turns to Tobias.

"Can I swim now?" he asks. _Oh, thank God!_

"Sure, buddy," Tobias says. He asks about Tyler's inquisitiveness while handing me Tessa, and I quickly repeat our bathroom conversation. I can tell he's happy I got that question and not him. "Please hold my hand tight." I watch them walk into the pool, which starts flat and goes to a depth of 18 inches. The first thing he does is go down the slide, squealing in delight the entire way down, landing with a big splash at the bottom.

"I'm sorry about Tyler's question," I say, turning my attention to Christina. "He got me in the bathroom right before you got here."

"What did he ask you?" she asks.

"How the baby got in my tummy," I say. She grimaces. "I didn't know what to say so I told him Mommy and Daddy's love put her there. I'm not sure where that idea came from."

"It's a good answer. I'll have to tuck it away for the future," she says. "You know, I look forward to a lot but, honestly, I don't look forward to questions like that."

"I don't blame you. Unfortunately, I know they're just beginning. Hey, let's forget about everything this afternoon and just have fun with the kids," I say. "It's been a long, hectic, stressful week. We need to unwind."

"That it has," she says. Christina and I take the babies to the far end of the pool and sit in the shallow water. I submerge Tessa chest deep time and again, and she splashes a couple times. She has such a bright smile on her face. She absolutely loves the water. Christina lies Liam on her legs and lowers him so that he is in an inch or so of water. At first he looks startled but then he gives her a sunny smile.

"He smiled!" I say.

"Yeah," she says, wearing a huge one of her own. "They're kind of rare but when they happen, they make everything so much better. He holds his head up really well, too, and looks around. He's so strong. Aren't you, big guy?"

"So how are the Dauntless-born coming along?" I ask, trying to get her mind off whatever Will is up to.

"It's better now that Murphy is with you guys," she says. "She still keeps them awake at night though."

"Her training is progressing," I say. "Dr. Shaw won't give us details of her sessions but she tells us that they're on the right track." I notice Tessa's drooping eyes so I put her up against my shoulder and rub circles on her back.

"I still feel bad that she reacted the way she did to me," she says. "I was just trying to make a point. I didn't know she was going to freak out."

"It's not your fault," I say. "I would have said the same thing to her, as a matter of fact, I've told her to get her head out of the clouds a few times since. I think her friendship with Kevin has helped. He's going through a similar situation. His girlfriend broke up with him right before Choosing Day. She knew he was going to choose Dauntless and she wants to stay in their original faction when she chooses next year. I hope he doesn't move on and then have her show up. That would be awkward."

"And we have enough awkward," she says and we laugh. We sit in the cool water talking about how all the initiates are doing. I tell her all about the strengths and weaknesses of each misfit, except for Olivia, I'm still too pissed to talk about her. She tells me in detail how each Dauntless-born is handling the initiation process while I watch Tobias follow Tyler around.

"Speaking of Callen, what did you say to him on the train?" she asks after she finishes telling me everything about Avery, Afton, Declan, and Callen.

"I just told him the truth, that Alec isn't a monster," I say. "I basically said the same thing to Uriah and Zeke but they didn't take it too well. I understand their reluctance to forgive him but everyone needs to remember he's already been punished for his crime."

"I agree," she says.

"Mommy, come play with me," Tyler calls from under the flower rain shower. He has a look of expectation on his face, and I just can't resist.

"Okay," I say. "Just a minute." I get out of the pool and put Tessa in her carrier by the table so she can nap in peace.

"Do you want to go down the slide with me?" I ask Tyler. He nods enthusiastically, and for the next half hour straight, we climb up the ladder then go down the slide.

"Tyler, why don't you let Mommy rest," Tobias says, recognizing my fatigue. "I'll go down the side with you."

"Otay!" he squeals. I join Christina who is nursing Liam at the table and check on Tessa. She's still fast asleep but she looks hot in her carrier so I pick her up and put her against my shoulder. I watch her peaceful little face for a minute, idly wondering what she dreams about.

"Is everything okay?" I ask Christina, noticing she keeps nervously checking her phone.

"I thought for sure he would have called but there's nothing," she says.

"Did you see him before you came down here?" I ask.

"I saw him go into the boutique," she says, sounding so sad. "Alicia is the only one on duty today. Why would he be going in there?" I remember Alicia. She works in the salon also. I can't see Will having an affair with her. She's quite a bit older than we are.

"Maybe he's buying something, Christina," I say. She chokes out a laugh.

"He's been in the boutique _twice_ in the last year," she says. "I buy all his clothes. I'm so tired of this."

"Can I be frank?" She nods. "From what you've told me today, Will is acting strangely and it sounds bad but he is _not_ going to do anything to jeopardize his life with you and Liam. I've told you several times to talk to him and it seems you're too scared to do it. You are a strong, independent, determined, resilient woman in all aspects of your life except when dealing with your feelings for Will then you're timid, uncertain. Where does your self-confidence go?" She looks at me somewhat embarrassed but doesn't say a word. "He loves you, Christina. You love him. You know that. You shouldn't doubt him.

"I used to wonder what Four saw in me. I just couldn't figure it out. I didn't think I was good enough for someone as perfect and wonderful as he is. He would get so angry with me for not thinking very highly of myself. So there's never a day that goes by that he doesn't tell me I'm beautiful and make me feel desired and loved. I think from his constant praise and compliments I finally realize that he's not lying to me."

"It's about time you believe me," Tobias says, his brilliant just-for-me-smile momentarily on his face.

"Ick," Christina mutters, a look of mock disgust on her face. "You two are so in love it's sickening."

"That we are," Tobias says. "That we are."

"I wish Will would tell me how much he loves me more often," she says. "I guess I'm not as lucky as you are." Her phone rings interrupting her sulk, and she lets it go to voicemail.

"Why would you do that?" I scold. "You're never going to get anywhere if you play games with him." She sighs. I hear my phone ringing but I can't get to it quickly enough to pick it up. Great, he's going to think I'm upset and taking her side. Finally Tobias' phone rings, and I answer it.

"Hey, Will," I say.

"I'm glad you answered, Tris. Is Christina with you? I'm trying to get ahold of her but she didn't answer."

"Yeah," I say. "She's right here with your beautiful son. I saw him smile today. He's quite the handsome fellow."

"Awe, I'm sorry I missed that," he says, wistful longing in his voice. "Will she talk to me?" He obviously knows she's upset with him.

"Of course, she will," I say. I hold out the phone to her and she glowers at me but I ignore her. I get up to give her some privacy and go stand with Tobias who is carefully watching Tyler who is still using the slide. I don't know where his energy comes from.

"It's about time for super," Tobias announces to the room. Tyler looks pouty but doesn't say anything. I for one am all for food right about now; I'm starving. "Come on, Tyler. Let's dry off for a while then we'll get dressed." We all get out of the water and sit at the table. Christina's off the phone, staring at the wall in front of her.

"Is everything okay?" I ask.

"Yeah, he wants to meet for supper in half-an-hour," she says.

"Good," I say. Maybe she'll take the time to finally talk to him about what's bothering her and stop jumping to conclusions. "Are you going to the cafeteria?"

"Mm-hmm," she says. She puts Liam to her shoulder to burp, deep in thought.

"Don't overthink it, Christina," I say.

"I know you're right," she says. "Will I see you at supper?"

"Yes," Tobias says. "We haven't made any other plans."

"Let's get ready and go," I say. We all head upstairs to the dressing rooms and change out of our wet swimsuits. Tessa wakes up when I'm putting her bubble romper back on and is less than pleased that I woke her up. She starts crying, which in turn wakes Liam up. _Oh, is this what it's going to be like with two babies, one crying waking the other one up?_ "Little one, you sure have a set of lungs on you. What's wrong? I changed your diaper. You're not hungry yet. Are you just mad at Mommy?" We walk out into the hallway to meet Tobias and Tyler.

"Is she hungry? That kind of sounds like her hungry cry," Tobias says.

"No. Maybe she'll calm down on the walk to the cafeteria," I say. "I accidentally woke her up. She's mad at me."

"Our poor girl," Tobias says. "Here let me take her." He takes her out of my arms but she keeps crying all the way to the cafeteria. I sit down at our empty table and Tobias hands me Tessa then takes Tyler to get some macaroni and cheese.

"What are you going to get tonight?" I ask Christina. "I'm starving but nothing sounds good. I hate days like this." I watch as Tobias and Tyler walk back to the table. At the same time Tobias' expression suddenly changes, a bouquet of ivory roses comes down in front of Christina. We both look behind us to find Will wearing a stylish black suit, black vest, and black tie holding the beautiful bouquet.

"Will! What are you doing?" Christina whispers, stunned by what she's seeing.

"Do you like the roses?" he asks, his voice hopeful, still holding the bouquet in front of her.

"Of course, I do," she shyly says, taking them from him with trembling hands. "They're lovely, Will." She puts them under her nose and deeply inhales the soft fragrance.

"I'm glad you like them," he says. "When I saw them, I thought of you. Of course, _you_ are definitely more beautiful."

"Why are you wearing a suit?" she asks, bemused. He holds his hand out to her, and she takes it. He helps her and Liam get up from the bench and kisses each of them tenderly then he sinks to one knee in front of her. Was she just complaining earlier that he wasn't romantic enough?

"Christina Louise Misner, I love you very much. You're the best thing to ever happen to me. Without you, I wouldn't have that precious little boy you're holding in your arms. I know I don't always show you and I'm not very quick to say it but I love you with all my heart and soul. I've loved you since I first laid eyes on you at the Choosing Ceremony, and I'll love you and only you every day for the rest of my life. I'm sorry if I ever made you doubt me. Christy, baby, will you please marry me?"

"I already said yes, Will," she says, tears streaming uncontrollably down her face.

"I know," he says, a hopeful smile on his face. "What I'm asking is if you'll marry me _right now_ … tonight."


	32. Chapter 32

"Tonight?" Christina asks, dazed. I can hear how overwhelmed she is right now. Just this afternoon she was thinking he was cheating on her and now he's wanting to get married … _tonight_ , no more waiting. He gets up off his knee and pulls her close to him. All eyes in the cafeteria are on them wondering what Christina is going to say. To tell the truth, I'm wondering that myself.

"You've been so stressed lately," he says taking Liam out of her arms so she can sit down. He kneels down in front of her again. "I want to take some of that stress away. It seems like every time we talk wedding details, it dissolves into a fight. The wedding isn't what's important, Christina. What's important is the marriage, and I can't wait for you to be Mrs. William Drake. _Please_ say yes. I've been working hard on this for a while now. Be my wife." She stares at him dumbfounded for a moment before she starts slowly nodding her consent. She throws her arms around his neck, mindful of the sleeping infant in his arms, and kisses him passionately. The cafeteria erupts in typical Dauntless celebration. Our table gives a rousing round of applause to the happy couple.

"Yes, I'll marry you tonight," she says, emotion thick in her voice. "But how? Where? What about my mom and sister and … _your_ mom and sister."

"I've planned every detail. Everyone we love will be there," he says then he looks up at all of us. "I hope none of you have plans set in stone because we want all of you to be there. Four, Tris, we need our best man and matron of honor, and if you wouldn't mind we could also use a ring bearer and flower girl."

"We'd be delighted," I say. "What should we wear?"

"I have everything you'll need," he says. "If you guys will come with me, we'll get everything underway. For the rest of you, I will send the directions for the wedding and reception. Don't eat. There will be a meal and of course cake."

"I can't believe we're doing this," Christina says, obviously in shock. "I thought you didn't want me anymore. I thought you were …"

"Sshh," Will says, sadness replacing his previous jubilant tone. "I figured you thought I was seeing someone else. That would never happen. I love you too much. Alicia has been helping me with all the details. I couldn't have done it without her. As a matter of fact, because of her, I haven't seen your wedding dress yet. I told her what I envisioned, and she did the rest."

"You didn't cheat?" she says so low that I'm sure the rest of the table doesn't hear.

"No, baby," he says, emphatically. "I would never disrespect you in that way. I love you and our son too much. You and Liam are everything to me. Why would I want to throw that away?"

"I'm so sorry for thinking the worst of you. I believe you, and I should have talked to you instead of stewing for so long," she says. "Let's go! I want to get married. Tris, can you believe this?" She wraps her arms around my neck in a hug, nearly cutting my airway off.

"Of course, I can," I say. "I told you everything would work out. Now let's go get you married." I put Tessa in her carrier and Tobias picks her up. I wipe the excess cheese off of Tyler's face then take his hand, and we walk with Will, Christina, and Liam to the garage.

"Here's the directions on how to get there in case we get separated," Will says typing furiously on his phone just before Tobias' sounds, telling us he has a message. We put the kids in the car and closely follow behind Will and Christina to the family park in the center of the city but instead of turning into the familiar entrance that leads to Tyler's favorite playground, we drive around to the other end of the park. It's a good thing that he's asleep or I'm sure he'd be begging for us to take him to the play area so he can slide. Luckily he wore himself out in the pool today.

We park in a large gravel parking lot next to Will and Christina adjacent to a rustic-looking dark wood log cabin with a large pavilion built off the right side, which is obviously set up for a wedding reception. Tobias and I get the kids out of the car and meet Will and Christina in front of theirs. She's beaming from ear to ear and bouncing up and down like a certain 2-year-old I know.

"I came across this place when I was researching wedding venues for you, Tris," she says unable to hide her giddiness.

"I remembered you talking about the Amity farm and this place," Will says. "I knew we didn't have enough time to go all the way to Amity so I chose to have the wedding here." He waves at our surroundings. "After the ceremony, we'll have the reception up front here in the pavilion. Tastes of Italy is carting the meal, and they also made the wedding cake. Out behind the main cabin are two smaller ones we can use to get ready. Four and I will use the one closest to the gazebo. We'll have the ceremony there."

"Wait until you two see the gazebo," she excitedly says. "It's located at the end of a long winding pea gravel path in a grove of ancient oak trees. It's the perfect place to get married. Thank you for doing this, Will." She throws her arms around his neck and kisses him fiercely. I turn away from them, embarrassed, and look up at Tobias and Tyler who has his eyes covered. They break away from each other, flushed, and laugh at Tyler.

"I have dresses, shoes, and accessories for you, Tris, and Tessa and suits and shoes for our little man, Four, and Tyler," Will says mainly to Christina but looking at all of us from time to time. "Everything is in the cabins already. Like I said, Alicia helped with all the details. She packed everything she thought you would need. I will stay out front and greet our guests. As soon as your mom gets here, I'll send her back to you. Tris, will you come find me when she's ready, and we'll get this show on the road?"

"Of course," I say.

"It will take us a little while to get ready," Christina says.

"Take your time," he says. "I don't want you to feel rushed. I didn't tell the others to be here until 7:30. I've always wanted a late evening wedding."

"Thank you, Will," she says. "You don't know how much this means to me."

"Hey, no tears," he says. "This is supposed to be one of the happiest days of our lives. So no more tears, baby. I love you."

"I love you, too," she says. I give Tobias a tender kiss and kiss Tyler's cheek and tell them both I love them while Will and Christina share another passionate kiss.

"Come on, Christina," I say. "You're never going to get married if you don't let go of him."

"I remember a certain someone sneaking off the night before her wedding to be with her fiancé," she says begrudgingly. Her arms still wrapped around Will.

"And I remember a certain someone giving me the silent treatment most of the next day," I sigh. "Christina Louise! I have a little lady who is wanting to be fed. We need to go."

"Alright," she says, finally acquiescing. "Liam will need fed soon also, Will."

"I have a few bottles with me. Don't worry, I'll take care of our son. You go get ready," he says, picking up Liam's carrier. "Say bye to Mommy." Christina kisses her boys one final time then we walk behind the large cabin and down the path about 10 feet to a smaller cabin nestled in between two large trees. When we step inside I'm surprised with how spacious it actually is on the inside. It looks tiny from the outside. There are three various-sized garment bags hanging on a hook on the wall next to a vanity full of styling products and several boxes on a small table against the far wall.

"I wasn't lying about this one needing her supper," I say after sitting down in the chair in the corner. I put her to my breast and she suckles ravenously. "My poor girl. I made you wait too long. Mommy's sorry."

"Look at this?" Christina says holding up a sleeveless black taffeta dress with multi-sized grey polka dots embroidered on a bridal quality organza overlay and a matching gray taffeta sash that ties into a bow in the back for Tessa. My little one's going to look like a princess in that lavish dress.

"Oh, it's so cute," I say. "Do you think that is the color scheme?"

"More than likely it's black, off white, and silver or grey," she says. "In case you haven't figured it out, I've talked about what I wanted my wedding to be like since the minute he asked. I thought he wasn't listening. I feel like such a fool." She flops down in the vanity chair and buries her face in her hands.

"Don't beat yourself up," I say. "You're getting married tonight." She rubs her eyes then looks at me.

"How did I get so lucky to have such a great friend like you?"

"I'm the lucky one," I say. "I never had a real friend before you. I'm happy to be sharing this day with you."

"Me too," she says. "I'm going to do my hair and makeup, and then I'll look at my dress." I relax in the chair, continuing to nurse Tessa, watching Christina perfect her makeup. She chatters excitedly about how wonderful Will is, and I smile and agree when appropriate. It's amazing what the difference a few hours can make. When Tessa finishes, I sit her in her carrier that Tobias dropped off.

"What can I help you with?" I ask as she's struggling to run a tiny curling iron through the back of her hair.

"You can help me with this," she says handing me the implement. When she sees me hesitate she says, "You can do this. Just follow my natural curls. It'll be fine."

"Okay," I say. I'm glad she has confidence in me. I sense her eyes on me, and I look up and meet her reflection in the mirror. "What?"

"I'm having sex tonight," she states matter-of-factly, yet excitedly.

"O … kay," I slowly say.

"We haven't…" she says drifting off.

"You still haven't?" I murmur, knowing what she means. It's been over five weeks since Liam was born.

"Isobel gave us the go ahead earlier this week but I haven't exactly been in the mood," she says with melancholy in her voice but she quickly shakes it off. "But I sure as hell am now. I might have to take him into the woods after the ceremony."

"I felt that way on my wedding day," I say. "I think all brides do." A knock on the door interrupts our conversation and Christina's mom, Stephanie, sticks her head into the room. I take the curling iron out of her hair, and she immediately gets up and moves into her mother's outstretched arms.

"Hi, Mom," she says. "I'm so glad you're here."

"Of course, I'm here," she says. "Where else would I be. Hello, Tris."

"Hello, Mrs. Misner," I say.

"Please call me Stephanie, dear," she says. "Is this your little one? She's absolutely adorable. Can I hold her?"

"Of course," I say. She bends down and picks up Tessa as I go back to fixing Christina's hair.

"She's precious," she says.

"Thank you. I'm done, Christina," I say. She picks up a handheld mirror and turns around and admires all her curls in the vanity mirror.

"I was serious about you doing this for a living if you ever get tired of being a leader," she says with a bright smile. "I'm going to spray my hair. Will you take Tessa outside for a while, Mom?"

"Go ahead," I say when she looks my way for permission. She steps outside with my daughter, and I immediately wish I would have went with them. Christina's quick but thorough in spraying her hair, creating a thick fog in the enclosed space.

"Sit, I'm going to do your hair," she says. "Something simple." She eyes my hair for a minute then proceeds to give me soft waves all over my head. Then I swear she uses the other half of the can of hairspray on me.

"Shall we check out the dresses?" I ask, beginning to get just as excited as Christina. She unzips the next bag to reveal a short-sleeved, shimmering dark gray metallic, knee length dress. It has a double ruffle at the bottom, a wrap bodice design, and a gathered princess waistline that will let the fabric skim over my protruding abdomen.

"Wow," we say at the same time and then start giggling. I slip out of my tank top, yoga pants, and tennis shoes, thankful that I wore light gray lingerie this morning and into the luxurious dress.

"Well?" I ask.

"I love it!" she says. "I swear I would have picked the same kind of dress for you. Will and Alicia did a wonderful job with everything." She starts rifling through the boxes on the table and picks up a pair of shoes. "I'm sure these are yours." She holds up a pair of 3-inch metallic gray slingback strappy sandals with buckle closures, which match my dress perfectly. I slip into them and admire myself in the full-length mirror behind the door. I look good if I don't say so myself.

"Shall we look at your dress now?" I ask and she excitedly bobs her head up and down. She reaches for the zipper with trembling fingers and can't seem to grasp it. "Here let me." I unzip the garment bag and gasp. _Wow_! It's a beautiful black, strapless, floor-length, lace-covered silk mermaid gown with a sweetheart neckline and a silk sash with a lace rose sitting off center. "Don't cry! You're going to ruin your makeup." She wipes away the tears and smiles.

"I guess that's why there's new strapless lingerie in this sack." She quickly strips out of her casual clothes and undergarments then changes into the very sexy lingerie.

"I think someone else has sex on the brain for tonight," I say and she smirks at me. I shrug my shoulders but blush anyway, embarrassed. "Let's get you into this dress." I help her into her dress the same way she helped me on my wedding day. It takes a full minute to button her into the spectacular gown. She smoothes the fabric down over her stomach and hips, staring at herself in the mirror. She looks beyond beautiful. She looks picturesque. I see what I assume are her shoes sticking out of a box and pick them up and sit them in front of her. I hold my hand out, and she tightly grasps it as she steps into the elegant 2-inch open-toe black satin heels with an open instep unlike I've ever seen before and a diamond rosette detail on the center. Will really has done a wonderful job.

"We better get Tessa ready," she says. "I'll go through the remaining boxes and see what else we have here."

"Okay," I say. "Do you want me to send anyone in?"

"Mom and Rose," she says. "Thank you so much, Tris."

"You're welcome." I step out of the cabin and go in search of Stephanie and Tessa. I head toward the sound of voices and find several guests milling around. "Hi, Stephanie. Christina would like to see you and Rose. Where's Tessa?"

"I have her, love," Tobias says from behind me. I turn around, and the sight of him in a crisp black suit that matches Will's take my breath away. "Wow, Tris." The look on his face makes me blush. "God, you are beautiful. I love the dress."

"Thank you," I say. "Come to Mommy." I take Tessa out of his arms and give her a kiss. "Where's Tyler?"

"He's with Uriah looking at the cake," Tobias says with a chuckle. "I told them both there would be no sampling before the wedding."

"Tris," Will says, gaining my attention. "Will you do something for me? The dress looks good. It's very becoming."

"Thanks," I say. "See you soon, baby." I lean up and give him a soft chaste kiss. "What can I do for you, Will?"

"Will you give this to Christina for me?" he says, handing me an oblong box wrapped in silver foil with a black paisley print. "I'd give it to her myself but I don't want to see her in her gown before the ceremony. How is she doing?"

"We're almost ready," I say. "We have to dress this little one then you'll see your bride. She's quite stunning. Everything you've done for her today is so romantic. You're a great guy, Will."

"She's been so distant lately," he says with a sigh. "I know what she thought, and I should have reassured her but I wanted all of this to be a surprise."

"I know and it _was_ quite a surprise. I better get back to her."

"Thanks, Tris," he says.

"I'll come find you when we're all ready," I say then turn and walk back to the cabin. I knock and Stephanie sticks her head out the door.

"Why are you knocking? Come in."

"I didn't want to interrupt," I say as I step into the now crowded room.

"You're not interrupting," Christina says.

"I'm going to go see if my gorgeous grandson is awake," Stephanie says and ushers Rose out of the room. Christina is sitting at the vanity touching up her makeup, and I notice that she's put four small ivory roses in her hair, pulling the curls on the left side of her head off her face. It's elegant in an understated way.

"Will asked me to give this to you," I say as I hand her the present. "I'm going to get Tessa ready." I want to give her time with what I assume is a wedding gift from her soon-to-be husband and turn my attention to Tessa. I take her out of her little romper, change her into a dry diaper, and dress her in the pretty dress then put on the shiny metallic dark gray headband with a black taffeta rose on it and black patent leather Mary Jane shoes with a crystal design on the top. I definitely need a picture of her in this outfit. As a matter of fact, I'm going to need a family picture.

"Can you help me with this?" she asks, interrupting my reverie. I turn to her, and she's holding up a beautiful pearl and diamond necklace. I sit Tessa in her carrier and take the delicate piece of jewelry from her and fasten it around her neck. She runs her fingertips over the three strands of pearls that converge on the left side of her chest in a simple diamond floral design. Wow, Will's gone above and beyond tonight. "See what else he gave me?" She holds out her right wrist and on it is a matching five-strand pearl and diamond rosette cuff bracelet. "It's the first jewelry he's ever given me, except for my engagement ring. I'm kind of excited to see what our wedding bands will look like. Hell, I'm excited about everything." She picks up our matching bouquets, which largely consist of soft ivory roses. In between those are smaller black roses with silver beading and crystal accents. "He's thought of everything. He even gave me a note as to what to say when we exchange rings. I can't believe we're doing this tonight and that I didn't have to lift a finger."

"That's how I felt thanks to you," I say. "Will's just returning the favor." She gets up and hugs me tightly. "You're not crying are you?"

"No," she says, releasing me. Her eyes are wide and awed, and she has an overwhelmed smile on her face. "I'm too happy and excited right now for tears."

"I need to touch up my makeup then I'll go talk to Will." I sit at the vanity and quickly put on some new dark grey eyeliner, mascara, and light pink blush and lip stain that complements what I'm wearing. "Okay. Let's get this show on the road." I pick up Tessa who is wide awake and smiling at nothing and carry her outside. I find Will, Tobias, Tyler, and a man I've never seen before standing behind the cabin.

"Judge Baxter, this is my wife and daughter, Tris and Tessa," Tobias says, introducing me to the stranger. I'm surprised he's a Jude already, he's so young.

"Hi," I say. "It's nice to meet you."

"Hello," he says.

"Is she ready?" Will asks expectantly.

"Yes, she is," I say then I look toward the judge. "What do I need to tell her to do?"

"The groom, best man, and ring bearer will wait at the end of the path at the gazebo," he says. I look down at Tyler, and he smiles up at me. He looks so handsome and grown up in a pair of black dress pants and matching vest, a light grey shirt, and a black, light gray, and silver diagonally striped tie. "When the music starts, you will walk first with the flower girl in your arms, and the bride will follow after completion of the first chorus. Will tells me she's familiar with the song so she shouldn't have a problem with it but he's not telling her what it is. He wants her to be surprised."

"Here are the rings," Will says handing Tobias a wedding band with close to 20 small diamonds on it, which he puts in his vest pocket. He then hands me a plain platinum wedding band, and I slide it on my thumb and clutch my hand tightly shut to make sure I don't lose it. "Do you have your bouquets?"

"Yes, they're in the cabin," I say. "Maybe you guys should head on up and I'll get Christina."

"Okay," Will says, leaning in and giving me a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for being such a good friend not only to Christina but to me."

"You're welcome, Will. Congratulations," I say then I turn toward my guys. "Give me a kiss." I lean down and give Tyler a quick peck then give Tobias a soft, loving kiss. "I love you both." When I walk back into the cabin, Christina is sitting at the vanity with her eyes closed taking deep calming breaths. I place my free hand on her shoulder, and she looks up at me. "Are you ready?" She nods. "Will is playing a song for you to walk down the aisle to but it's a surprise, and he wouldn't tell me what it was. I have to walk when it starts and you are to start walking just as the first chorus ends. He's confident you'll know when that is. Don't forget your bouquet. Let's get you married!"


	33. Chapter 33

When I hear the acoustic guitar at the top of a song I've never heard before, I start walking up the packed pea gravel path, which is scattered with ivory-colored rose petals and lined on both sides with mason jars hanging on little shepherd's hooks every so often at a measured pace. It is covered by a thick canopy of massive, ancient oak trees, which is blocking out the sun making it seem closer to sundown than it actually is. Half the mason jars are filled with lit ivory votive candles submerged in ivory-colored sand, and the other half have fresh ivory roses and greenery in them. The path winds through about 25 feet of woods before it curves, and I'm able to see the rustic-looking gazebo and all the wedding guests.

When I reach the seating area, my eyes meet Tobias', and I'm suddenly transported back in time to my wedding day when I was walking slowly on the arm of my father toward my soon-to-be husband. When I reach the alter, the judge inconspicuously points to where I should stand, and I quickly look around at the once white-painted gazebo, which is mostly raw wood now. It has rope lighting tacked along the rafters, illuminating the ivory rose-petal-covered dirt floor, and there is live green garland embellished with ivory, black, and silver roses casually draped along the railings. It's absolutely beautiful in a very simple and understated way. I look back at Tobias and smile warmly, and he mouths I love you, which I return immediately.

The audience rises as one when Christina comes around the bend in the path just as the second chorus starts. What timing! She walks slowly toward us, her eyes focused on Will alone. They both look happy, excited, and very much in love. She reaches the alter just as the song comes to an end, and all the guests sit at once. It's only now that I notice Liam in Stephanie's arms, looking all around. He is so cute in a suit identical to Tyler's. Will and Alicia have thought of absolutely everything.

"Let us begin," Judge Baxter says. "Welcome friends and family. Will and Christina have chosen you, those special and important to them, to witness and celebrate the beginning of their life together. Today, as we create this marriage, we also create a new bond and new sense of family, one that will undoubtedly include all who are present here today." I know I should be paying close attention to the ceremony but Tobias looks so handsome. His attire and the setting reminds me of my wedding day, and I'm having a hard time concentrating on anything but him.

"Will and Christina, true marriage is more than the joining of two persons; it is the union of two hearts. It lives on the love you give each other and never grows old but thrives on the joy of each new day. Marriage is love.

"May you always be able to talk things over, to confide in each other, to laugh with each other, to enjoy life together, and to share moments of quiet and peace when the day is done. May you be blessed with a lifetime of happiness and a home of warmth and understanding." The judge looks toward Will.

"Do you Will, accept Christina as your wife and one true love, promising to share in all that life offers and suffers, to be there for her in times of need, to soothe her in times of pain, and to support her in all endeavors big and small?"

"I do," Will says, his voice ringing out proudly for all to hear.

"Do you Christina, accept Will as your husband and one true love, promising to share in all that life offers and suffers, to be there for him in times of need, to soothe him in times of pain, and to support him in all endeavors big and small?"

"I do," Christina says, emotion thick in her voice.

"Will, please take Christina's hands and repeat after me," the judge says and he immediately complies after I shift Tessa in my arms and take her bouquet from her. "I, Will, take you, Christina, to be my wife, loving what I know of you and trusting what I do not yet know."

"I, Will, take you, Christina, to be my wife, loving what I know of you and trusting what I do not yet know," he repeats.

"I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the woman you will become and falling in love a little more each day," the judge says.

"I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the woman you will become and falling in love a little more each day," he repeats.

"I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us."

"I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us," he repeats.

"Christina, please repeat after me. I, Christina, take you, Will, to be my husband, loving what I know of you and trusting what I do not yet know."

"I, Christina, take you, Will, to be my husband, loving what I know of you and trusting what I do not yet know," she repeats. She has her back to me but it sounds like she may be crying.

"I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the man you will become and falling in love a little more each day," the judge says.

"I eagerly anticipate the chance to grow together, getting to know the man you will become and falling in love a little more each day," she repeats.

"I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us."

"I promise to love and cherish you through whatever life may bring us," she repeats.

"May I have the rings?" Tobias takes Christina's dainty ring out of his vest pocket as I slip Will's chunky ring off my thumb, and we hand them to the judge who holds them up for everyone to clearly see. "The ring is the symbol of commitment, which binds these two together. There are two rings because there are two people, each to make a contribution to the life of the other and to their new life together." He hands Christina's ring to Will.

"Christina, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love, as I give to you all that I am and accept from you all that you are," Will says as he slips her diamond wedding band up next to her engagement ring. The judge hands Christina Will's ring.

"Will, I give you this ring as a symbol of my love, as I give to you all that I am and accept from you all that you are," Christina says as she slips his platinum wedding band on his finger. I'm impressed that she didn't stumble since she only had a few minutes to memorize that vow.

"And now, by the power vested in me by the city, I hereby pronounce you husband and wife. Will, you may kiss your bride." Will takes Christina into his arms and puts his lips on hers. He kisses her tenderly for a moment then releases her.

"Friends and family, I present to you for the first time, Will and Christina Drake." Everyone stands up in celebration. The non-Dauntless guests applaud politely as all their Dauntless guests are whooping and hollering in typical Dauntless fashion.

"Thank you," Will says, not letting go of Christina. "My _wife_ and I," they both beam at the new title, "want to thank all of you for sharing in this special day with us. Back up at the pavilion we will have an Italian buffet, cake, dancing, and drinks. I would like all of you to stay and enjoy the evening. I need the wedding party, Stephanie, Rose, Mom, Cara, and Caleb to stay behind for a few pictures. We will join all of you for the reception in a few minutes. Thank you." Tobias steps around the new bride and groom who can't seem to keep their hands off each other and leads me to the just vacated seats and takes Tessa from my arms. Tyler comes to me, and I pull him onto my lap.

"You look so handsome, Tyler," I say. "You look just like your daddy."

"Thanks," he says. "You look pwetty. When do we get cake?"

"Not for a while I'm afraid," I say with a chuckle. My son loves his cake. "If you can manage it, you can stay up and have a slice of wedding cake."

"I not sleepy," he says, bright eyed. His late nap probably took care of that but the busy afternoon in the pool can hit him at any time, and he'll be out like a light.

"Our girl is absolutely gorgeous just like her mommy," Tobias says. "I think we all clean up quite nicely." A flash startles us and Judge Baxter smiles our way. He's holding a camera.

"I dabble in photography in my spare time," he says, "so I'm doing a favor for Stephanie. I prefer candid shots to posed ones but we'll do both. Will and Christina want some of the wedding party and then some individual shots." By the time all the photos have been taken 20 minutes have passed then we walk back up the lit path to the covered pavilion. It's just as beautiful as the ceremony area.

There are silver chairs with ivory cloth seats and backs lining two long oblong tables draped with ivory linen tablecloths in the center of the room. Decoratively folded light gray fine linen cloth napkins sit atop winter white place settings flanked by shiny silver tableware and crystal wine and water glasses at each place setting. Running down the center of each table are several crystal vases filed with now familiar-looking fresh ivory roses and greenery and lit ivory votive candles in crystal votive cups. Yet again the decorations are elegant, simple, and understated.

Hanging from the rafters of the pavilion is a black wrought iron trellis lined with steady-burning soft white lights. At strategic intervals above each table hangs two rows of crystal, round-bottom vases. Half are filled with the same flowers lining the tables and pathway, and the other half have lit ivory-colored candles floating in a few inches of water.

Against the cabin wall are several ivory linen-tablecloth-covered tables serving as an elaborate buffet filled with delicious looking and smelling Italian food from the restaurant downtown. The first table has a large frameless black chalkboard leaning against the wall listing all the buffet choices. In front of the board is a silver vase with ivory roses in it. My mouth waters as I see and smell starters like bruschetta and prosciutto wrapped melon; entrée's like lasagna, spaghetti and meatballs, chicken parmesan, and cheese ravioli; and extras like Caesar salad, roasted vegetables, assorted meats and cheeses, and baskets of garlic bread. There's enough food here for an army. At the end of the buffet, on a separate table, is a two tier soft white round cake with black, silver, and soft white fondant roses piled on top and cascading over the side and pooling around the base. It's an absolutely beautiful wedding cake.

Tessa's getting a little fussy so I take her back to the little cabin where I left the diaper bag and change her back into the more comfortable bubble romper after changing her dirty diaper. I check to see if she's hungry but she's not. I think she's just tired and needs a nap. I sit in the quiet solitude thinking about everything the day has brought while I pat and rub her back in an effort to get her to sleep. I think about Christina's wonderful surprise and can't be happier for her and Will. Alec and Callen's confrontation comes to mind, and I contemplate talking to Nathan but reconsider, thinking that it's a bad idea. Callen needs to learn to take responsibility for his own actions. Finally, my mind drifts to Olivia, and I wonder again how the bitch knows his name. It's not as closely a guarded secret as it once was but I don't get how a transfer a few days into Dauntless initiation would get that information. I also think about what she said. _"He'll be mine one day."_ I think her audacity is what pisses me off the most. You don't say something like that to someone, especially a married woman.

"There you are," Tobias says as he walks into the cabin. "I've been looking everywhere for you."

"I'm sorry," I say. "Our girl needed a new diaper, and she was cranky so I put her to sleep." He narrows his eyes at me. "What?"

"I should be asking you that," he says.

"I was just thinking about our day," I say.

"Thinking about Olivia?" he asks.

"Yeah," I sigh after a moment of silence. "I know I shouldn't care but I can't figure her out. I wish I had some truth serum. That would make her talk." He carefully lifts Tessa out of my arms, buckles her into her car seat, and tucks a lightweight blanket in around her since it's an unseasonably cool night. He drags me into his arms and stares down at me, his eyes burning.

"I love _you_ … only you," he says, reassuring me. "She's a silly girl. A nobody. I have no idea why she's focused on me. I sure as hell haven't done anything to encourage it." He open and closes his mouth a couple times like he's searching for the right thing to say but failing. "I want to say to forget about her but I know that neither one of us can. She's up to something. That much is obvious, and if we aren't on our toes she could cause us some serious problems. I will never cheat on you though; I have no desire to. You know that. I will never leave you or our kids. You know that, too. So her saying I'll be hers one day is a complete improbability. Ignore her."

"I love you so much, Tobias Eaton," I say. He lowers his mouth toward mine as I raise mine to meet his. I feel the kiss spiraling out of control and break away, panting for air. "We have a reception to attend. Plus I don't feel like getting busted by our friends for having sex at Will and Christina's wedding. Not to mention, I'm starving. Feed me!" He laughs then gives me another tender kiss before picking up Tessa's carrier and leading me to the pavilion.

"I'll get you a plate," he says as I sit down next to Tyler who is sitting with Uriah and Marlene. "What would you like?"

"Surprise me. It all smells so good," I say. He takes my plate and his then walks over to the buffet. "How are you, buddy? Is everything good?" Tyler eagerly nods his head up and down. He loves this style of food just as much as Tobias and I do.

"This good," he says around a mouthful of spaghetti and meatballs.

"You shouldn't talk with your mouth full," I say as I give him a quick kiss on the head. I study him while he eats, and he shows no signs of slowing down.

"Did you two sneak off and have sex during _my_ wedding reception?" Christina whispers in my ear, startling me. I knew that's what people would think.

"No," I say, pointing to the sleeping infant at my feet. "I put Tessa to sleep. She was cranky. Plus I had to change her diaper."

"Oh," she says. "You know, I was going to be mad if you got some before me."

"Got some of what?" Will says.

"Oh, it's nothing, husband," she says throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him. "We better get some food. I'm hungry."

"I'm hungry, too," he says obviously not talking about food. I clear my throat and look at Tyler who is staring up at them. "We'll take this elsewhere."

"Thanks," I say. After they walk away, Tobias puts a plate full of food in front of me, and I thank him. We eat the delicious supper and have great conversation with all our friends at the table. Tyler curls up on his chair with his head in my lap and quickly falls asleep after he gets his tummy full, which doesn't surprise me at all. He's had a very long day, and it's well past his bedtime.

I glance over at the end of the buffet and see that Will and Christina are posing with their wedding cake. I point it out to our table, and we all sit back and watch as they cut the cake. Christina has a devilish look on her face when she smashes the piece she'd feeding him into his face causing us all to laugh heartily with them. Will grabs her and kisses her hard getting cake and frosting all over her face, too, while the judge clicks away with the camera. Tobias puts his arm around me and kisses my temple. After they clean themselves up in the cabin, they serve each of us a slice of the best cake I've ever tasted. I swear I hear Uriah orgasm after he takes his first bite.

"Tyler, honey, do you want some cake?" I ask.

"If he doesn't want it, I'll take it," Uriah says. I shake my head and roll my eyes at him.

"Leave his cake alone," I say. Tyler sits up and rubs his eyes. Now I feel bad for waking him up. "You can go back to sleep, buddy. I'm sorry I woke you."

"I want cake." He sits up and quickly eats the dessert. "That good." He stands up and wraps his arms around my neck.

"Come here," I say, lifting him into my lap. I run my fingers through his hair, and he's back to sleep in minutes.

"Is he asleep?" I nod. "Do you want me to take him?"

"No, I've got him for right now," I say. I look down at Tessa and see that she, too, is sound asleep. It's been a long, eventful day for them also.

"We should do a toast or something," Tobias says. I look around and see that most people are finished with their cake.

"I think you're right," I say. "Now is as good a time as any. I'm glad I already researched toasts and speeches. There's no way I could come up with a speech off the top of my head but I have a toast planned already."

"Shall I take Tyler for you?"

"No, I think everyone will realize why I'm not standing up," I say, kissing my boy on the top of his head.

"I'll start then." He gets to his feet and taps a knife against his glass of sparkling cider. "Can I have everyone's attention," Tobias says. Everyone quiets down and looks our way. "Tris and I didn't have a lot of advanced notice for this beautiful wedding so I'm afraid that we don't have any fancy speeches prepared but we'd each like to toast our very dear friends." He raises his glass to the happy couple who are sitting at the end of the next table with their families. "Christina and Will, may today be the beginning of a wonderful new and long-lasting chapter in your life, and may you always love, cherish, and honor each other just as you do today."

"Will and Christina," I say holding my glass up. "May you be friends to each other as only lovers can, and may you love each other as only best friends can."

"Everyone, please join us in raising your glasses and toasting the happy couple," Tobias says. "To Will and Christina!"

"We love you guys!" I say.

"Congratulations and cheers!" Tobias and I say at the same time.

"Cheers!" says a choir of voices, everyone holding their glasses high in the air. I take a sip of the chilled sparkling cider then put my glass down.

"I'd like to toast my beautiful wife, Christina," Will says, glass in hand as he stands. "You're my best friend, my lover, my soul mate, and the greatest part of me. I vow to make you just as happy as you are right now for the rest of our lives. We'll have our ups and downs just like any couple but we'll always weather whatever storm life throws our way because we will do it together. I love you very much, Christy, and am so glad that you're finally mine. Cheers!" We all raise our glasses in celebration. Christina stands and gives him a sweet kiss then turns toward her guests.

"I'm not one for making speeches," she says and almost everyone in the room scoffs at her. "You all know me very well," she laughs. "I guess I should have said I'm not very good at sharing my true feelings in front of a roomful of people even if they are friends and family. There was a reason I left Candor." She turns toward Will and takes his hand in hers. "Will, I need to thank you for so much. First, thank you for choosing me. I was surprised when our friendship turned into more but I've never regretted it for one minute. Thank you for loving me the way you do. I know we've already had our ups and downs mainly because I've been afraid to talk to you but no more. I will keep the lines of communication open because I know you love me just as much as I love you and our love needs nurturing. Thank you for our son, Liam. He is the greatest gift you have given me. And thank you for today. I've always envisioned what my perfect wedding would look like and this has surpassed all expectations. To my husband. Know you are loved a little bit more every single day. Cheers!" Once again we lift our glasses in celebration.

"We know it's late but stay, enjoy yourself. Christina and I are going to dance our first dance out behind the pavilion. Oh and Uriah," he looks up stunned to be singled out, "try not to eat _all_ the cake."

"Man, it is _so_ good," he says lifting his hidden piece from his lap. Everyone laughs at him but he doesn't care. We all know how much he loves cake.

"I want to dance," I say. "Maybe we can lie the kids down in a quiet corner where we can still see and hear them."

"I'll see what I can do," he says. He takes a couple chairs and slides them together in the dimly lit corner of the pavilion. He lifts Tyler from my lap and lies him on the chairs, and I cover him with one of his sister's blankets. Then Tobias brings Tessa who is still asleep and puts her next to the chairs out of everyone's way so we can take advantage of the romantic ambiance on the dance floor.

"Do you know the name of this song?" I ask Tobias as we watch Will and Christina dance to the song we walked down the aisle to.

"Yeah," he says. "It's called _Love of a Lifetime_ but I don't know who sings it. They play it on the power ballads station all the time."

"I've never heard it until today but I like it," I say. "It seems like a very fitting song." I wrap my arms around Tobias and he returns the favor, wrapping me in his loving embrace. He kisses my hair, and I tilt my chin up so his lips can find mine. We only break away from each other when we hear the song end.

"May I have this dance?" he asks.

"Of course," I say. He leads me out on the makeshift dance floor behind the pavilion, which is illuminated by the light coming from the reception area and from the candles in the mason jars that someone took the time to move from the path to the perimeter of the gravel patch. He takes me in his arms, and we dance the next few songs uninterrupted then I dance with Will while Tobias dances with Christina for one song.

"May I have the next dance?" Caleb asks when I finish with Will.

"Yes," I say. "I'm sorry I haven't said more than hello tonight. First I was busy then I kind of zoned out. How are you?"

"Wonderful," he says. "You look beautiful, Beatrice. Tyler and Tessa were cuter than normal in their matching outfits. I held Tessa and she smiled and laughed at me. I got a couple high fives from Tyler. He is one smart boy."

"Yes, he is," I say. "They're both remarkable in their own way. I hope the new baby is as easy going as those two."

"I'm sure she will be," he says. "How are you feeling?"

"Most of the time I'm tired, achy, hungry, and slightly grouchy," I say.

"You admit to being grouchy?" he asks with a chuckle.

"My mood is kind of all over the place," I say. "One minute I'm happy and content and the next I'm either bawling or a raving maniac. It makes for an interesting time."

"I miss seeing and talking to you every day," he says, a touch of sadness in his voice.

"I know what you mean, and I miss you, too," I say. We dance the rest of the song in silence, emotion robbing us both of our voices. When we finish, Cara taps me on the shoulder.

"Can I have my fiancé back?" she asks, good naturedly.

"Of course," I say. "How's initiation?"

"Tiring," she says. "I should be planning the wedding but it's all I can do to stay awake when I get home of a night."

"I understand," I say. "I better find my husband. You guys have a wonderful evening. It was great seeing you." We say a final goodbye then I wander off to look for Tobias. He's sitting at a table with Tessa in his arms. She's wide awake and laughing at her Daddy who is making funny faces at her. I stand back, unobserved, and watch them. I must move or something after a couple minutes because he looks up and pins me to my spot with his gaze. I think it's time to go home. I break his heated stare and make my way to his side. When Tessa sees me, she grins from ear to ear.

"Let's go home," he says.

"Okay," I say, nodding. "Let's say goodbye to Will and Christina." We head back to the crowed dance floor and find them kissing and whispering in the shadows.

"We're leaving," Tobias says. They reluctantly let each other go and give us each hugs.

"Thank you for everything, Tris," Christina whispers in my ear.

"I didn't do anything," I say.

"You are always here for me," she says her eyes shimmering with unshed tears in the glow of the candlelight.

"You're my best friend," I say. "Of course, I'm here for you. I love you. You're a beautiful bride." She hugs me, practically crushing me with her embrace.

"We'll see you tomorrow," Tobias and I say as we walk away.

"I've already packed the car and got everything out of the cabin so we only have to get Tessa's carrier and our son," Tobias says. We say our goodbyes then make our way to the car. Hopefully, Tessa can hold off on wanting nursed until we get home. She's not whining or anything yet but her fist is shoved in her mouth and she's sucking vigorously. My poor girl.

It doesn't take terribly long to get home. Tobias parks at the Pire and lets me and Tessa out of the car. I'm surprised her crying hasn't woken Tyler up. I go straight to our apartment and upstairs to her room. I quickly change her diaper so she'll be more comfortable then sit in her rocking chair to nurse her. I hear Tobias come in when the front door opens with a bang. He carries Tyler to bed, changes him into a pair of PJs, and tucks him in.

"I'm going to get the rest of the stuff out of the car," he says standing in the doorway.

"Okay," I say.

"Don't take that dress off," he says, his voice low and seductive. "I want to do that."

"O-Okay," I stutter. He gives me a smile that I feel directly between my thighs and turns and walks out the door. To get my mind off of my husband and what he might do to me later, I turn my attention to the infant at my breast. "How are you doing, little one? Are you getting enough to eat?" I see her eyes drooping but she's still nursing at a steady pace. She's not very happy when I unlatch her so I can get her to burp but she quiets back down when she starts eating again. When she finishes, I change her into a long-sleeve sleeper and put her in the crib after kissing her goodnight. I go into Tyler's room and kiss him then head into my bedroom.

Tobias is not so patiently waiting and lunges at me when I walk through the door. _Whoa!_ He pins me against the wall by the open door and kisses me enthusiastically. I match his fervor kiss for kiss. He breaks away and closes and locks the door. It's amazing what that little clicking sound does to me. I stand against the wall, weak kneed, chest heaving, and stare at him.

"Let me get you out of this dress," he says. He stalks over to me and bends down and grasps the hem of the dress, and with exaggerated slowness, he lifts it up my body, his fingers grazing my heated skin the entire way, over my head, and tosses it to the floor. "You're so beautiful, Tris." I flush as his eyes take an erotic journey over my body. "I've wanted to make love to you all night just like I did at our wedding."

"Tobias," is all I can manage to say at the moment. He's so romantic. Once again I silently thank God for how lucky I am. I step forward, and with steady hands, I unbutton his vest while looking into his eyes then slide it off his muscular shoulders. Next I drag his shirt out of his pants and unbutton it. I mean to go slow, to build the anticipation further but I practically tear off the buttons in my ravenous state. I want him badly. We haven't made love since our little game of naughty Candor or Dauntless. I lean up and put my mouth on his as I slide his shirt off his body. He thrusts his eager, talented tongue into my mouth, causing me to moan. We let our tongues dance as I dispatch him of his pants. He moves us back until he runs into the end of the bed then he turns us around and sits me down.

"I don't think I can wait," he says. I reach out and run my palm and fingers over his cotton-covered hard length and he gasps. "God, I want you." His powerful words and the look in his eyes bring tears to my eyes but I quickly wipe them away. I reach behind me and boldly take my bra off as he slides his boxer briefs down and off. He gently pushes me back on the bed and grasps the waistband of my lace boy shorts and slides them down my legs. He hovers over my body and brings his mouth to mine. We kiss passionately, each of us letting the other into our soul. I run my hands up and down his back, loving the feel of his toned muscles under my fingertips. I feel his gentle touch glide down my body until two fingers disappear into my moist, heated center. He makes love to my mouth with the same rhythm his fingers slide in and out of me.

"I … want … you," I pant breathlessly between kisses, "inside … me … _now_. Please, baby … _please_!" He takes his fingers out of me, leans back, and kneels between my outstretched legs. He positions himself at my entrance and slowly sinks into me. He leans forward and looks lovingly down into my face, takes my hands in his and laces our fingers together. I automatically wrap my legs around his waist, taking him as deeply as I can. He starts a slow, gentle rhythm, pushing all the way into my depths before pulling almost all the way out then sliding home again. We stare into each other's eyes, making slow, sweet love to each other. I feel irrational tears escape my eyes, and he reaches down and gently wipes them away with his thumbs as he caresses my cheeks.

"God, I love you," I hear myself say out loud. I raise my hips to meet every single one of his powerful, steady thrusts. I feel the familiar sensation building beneath my navel, deep inside. "Tobias. _Mmm_."

"I know," he says. "It's so good." He keeps the rhythm steady until I'm on the edge then he picks up the pace slightly and I fall, spectacularly hard and fast. My back arches, my toes curl, and I scream in fulfillment. He explodes deep inside of me shortly after my release then collapses on top of me. I welcome his weight for the first time in ages but he drags us down onto the floor, me sitting in his lap before I comprehend what he's doing. _Oh, Peanut!_ He pulls out of me and wraps me in my arms.

"That was," I say, sleepily. _Without a doubt one of the best times we've made love._ It takes me a moment to realize I only finished my thought in my mind.

"I know," he says, nuzzling my neck and ear with his nose. "It's always good, _special_ between us. I love you, Mrs. Eaton. Maybe we should get some sleep."

"Okay," I mutter, half asleep already. "Love you ... too." The last thing I feel is him lifting me in his arms before sleep consumes me.


	34. Chapter 34

I wake up long before the alarm is set to go off. I toss and turn in an effort to get some more rest but sleep eludes me. I shouldn't be this wide awake before 5 a.m. after all of last night's festivities: The surprise wedding, the celebration, the dancing, the slow, tender lovemaking. I should be comatose. But after accepting that I'm not going back to sleep anytime soon, I quietly ease myself out of bed, making sure I don't disturb Tobias and slip on my robe. Even though I hear nothing through the baby monitor, I check on Tessa anyway. I find her sleeping soundly in the middle of her crib. Not having anything else to do, I decide to take a long, hot, pampering shower, which has become a rare luxury for me since I became a mom. I turn on the water to the perfect temperature, hang my robe behind the bathroom door then step inside the shower. I exfoliate every inch of my body with my loofah sponge then use my new luxurious coconut oil body wash I got at an Amity booth at the farmer's market a couple weeks ago. It eliminates the need for lotion right after my shower. I can feel the difference in the texture of my skin as I'm drying myself off after a single use. I hope they have more the next time we go to the market. I'd like to keep this on hand.

I slip my robe back on and go into my bedroom to get dressed. I'm surprised to find Tobias still asleep. I contemplate waking him up for a little fun but he must be exhausted from yesterday because I hear his light snoring. When I head for the dresser, I nearly trip over my new shoes, which are lying in the middle of the floor in between my side of the bed and the wall and I blush. In our haste to make love last night, I left my shoes on … again. _What is it about shoes that turn him on so?_ I don't think I'll ever quite understand but then again, Tobias in the kitchen does strange things to my libido. I smile to myself thinking about seducing him in the kitchen wearing nothing but a pair of sexy shoes. I'm confident we'd both love that.

I pick up the shoes after putting on a matching dark gray breastfeeding bra and boy shorts and put them in my closet with my other heels. I dress in typical training gear then pick up all our discarded clothes from around the room. I put everything except for the dress in the hamper. I hang it up on the inside of the closet door with my other items that need dry cleaned. I decide to check on Tessa and this time find her awake and a bit grouchy.

"Good morning, little one," I say as I pick her up. "Let's get you out of this wet diaper." I put her sleeper in her dirty clothes basket and change her into a dry diaper then sit down to nurse her. "There, is that better? Now let's get your tummy full." She easily latches on and suckles eagerly. "Do you know you were the prettiest flower girl _ever_ last night? Will and Christina were very lucky to have you in their wedding but I'll let you in on a little secret, Mommy and Daddy are lucky to have you every single day. Yes, we are. You're such a precious gift, my sweet girl. I'll never let you forget that. I love you, Tessa Beatrice." She releases my nipple and coos at me. "Did you just tell me that you love me, too?" I kiss her cheek before putting her up to my shoulder to burp her. I look up as Tobias walks into the room. "Good morning. Look who's here, little one. Your Daddy came to see you. He loves you, too."

"That I do. Good morning," he says, leaning over and giving me a tender kiss then kissing Tessa's head. "You're dressed already." He sounds surprised.

"I've been up a long time," I sigh. "I couldn't sleep."

"I'm sorry, love. I heard you talking to Tessa. That's what woke me up," he says, a blissful smile on his face. I furrow my brows, confused. I wasn't talking loud enough to have woken him. "I heard you through the baby monitor," he clarifies.

"I'm sorry," I say. "I never thought about turning it off after I got dressed."

"It was a nice way to wake up, hearing my wife talk to my daughter. I don't think I'll ever tire of saying those words," he says. He looks so young and carefree this morning and happy. "Do you want me to wake Tyler or start breakfast?"

"I thought we'd eat in the cafeteria this morning," I say. "Then while you drop the kids off at daycare, I'll go to the infirmary to get my blood pressure checked. I might be late getting to the training room but some things are more important than the misfits."

"I know. I'd like to go with you to the infirmary, if that's okay," he says, leaning over and kissing me again. "I'll go wake up our boy then." A couple minutes later Tyler comes into the room.

"Hi, Mommy," he says. "Daddy wake me up."

"We're going to the cafeteria for breakfast, and we have to leave soon," I explain. "Did you go potty?" He shakes his head. "Well, you better go. I'm sure Daddy will help you get dressed."

"Yes, I will," Tobias says from the doorway. Has he been standing there the entire time? "Come on, Tyler. Let's get you ready."

"I love you, guys," I call out as they leave.

"We love you, too," Tobias says, making me grin like a fool.

"You're Daddy loves me," I whisper to Tessa who seems to be slowing down. "He makes me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world but we both know that's you."

"I won't totally disagree with you. My baby girl is just as beautiful as her mother," he says making me gasp. I had no idea he was still around. "I'm sorry if I scared you."

"I just have to restart my heart," I say as my heart starts hammering in my chest. "I thought you went with Tyler."

"He's getting dressed," he says. "I wanted to watch you nursing our daughter. It's still such a miraculous sight."

"Have you been into some peace serum this morning?" I say with a chuckle. "You're unusually happy today."

"I guess there's love in the air after last night," he says, shrugging his shoulders. "Everything at the wedding and reception was special and romantic. And then there was our private party." Yes, that was especially romantic. I love when I can look in his eyes as he makes love to me.

"Was thewe cake?" Tyler asks, pouting.

"What?" I ask, confused. Why is he asking about cake?

"You pawty," he says. _Oh!_

"No, there was no cake," I say, feeling heat rise into my cheeks. "You didn't miss a thing, I promise."

"Let's go pack the diaper bag while Mommy finishes with Tessa," Tobias says, lifting Tyler up into his arms. Before he walks into the hallway, he turns and winks at me. After Tessa burps, I put her in a new outfit Tobias bought her. It's a white shirt that says "Mommy's Little Flower" over a large red flower with a blue and white center, blue shorts covered with white flowers with red centers, and a blue headband with one white flower with a red center that ties the outfit together.

"I swear I could dress you in a flour sack and you'd still be the cutest baby ever," I say, carefully picking her up and cradling her in my arms. She coos nonstop as we walk downstairs. "Are you talking to me, little one? You sure do have a lot to say this morning."

"Tess is talkin'?" Tyler asks, stunned. I sit down on the couch and beckon him over to me.

"Do you hear her?" I ask him. "She's talking to you, too." He puts his hand out to touch her, and she grabs ahold of his finger and coos a little louder.

"She happy to see me," he says with a sunny smile.

"Yes, she is," I say. "Shall we go get some breakfast? I hope the chefs made biscuits and gravy this morning because that's what Peanut is craving." We take our time walking to the cafeteria since it's relatively early. When we get there, Zeke and Shauna are the only ones at our table.

"Good morning, Prior family," Zeke says. "I never told you guys how nice you all looked last night at the wedding. Tessa, Tyler, and little Liam stole the show but don't tell Christina. I know all eyes are supposed to be on the bride but I couldn't keep my eyes off the babies." He turns and looks at Shauna. "I think I am ready to have a baby." She chokes and her orange juice comes flying out her nose, spraying all over the table. She coughs and sputters with a painful grimace on her face.

"B-Ba-bab-baby?" she stutters. "Damn! Orange juice coming out your nose burns like hell. Ezekiel, we're not having a baby anytime soon. I just had this year's shot last week so I'm covered for another year. I'm not ready for diaper duty and sleepless nights. Are you?"

"Uh, I hadn't thought about that," he bashfully says.

"I tell you what, Uncle Zeke and Aunt Shauna, you can watch all three of the kids about six weeks after the baby's born so Four and I can go on a date," I say, hoping they don't understand the significance of six weeks but Shauna looks at me knowingly. _Crap!_ Oh well, it's not like our friends don't know we have sex.

"Tris, I need to talk to you," Avery says right up next to my ear, making me jump. When I look up over my shoulder at her, she's glaring at Tobias.

"What do you need, Av?" I ask even though I have a suspicion that I know. This has something to do with my least favorite initiate, Olivia. "If you have a problem, you should really go to Uriah or Christina when they get here."

"It's not about me. It's about you," she says. "Please, can I talk to you alone?"

"No," Tobias says, turning to look up at her. When he sees her expression, he knits his brows together in bewilderment. Avery has never shown him this kind of contempt. "What is it?" All of a sudden I notice that all eyes are on us.

"Tris, I've always liked you so I think you should know that Four's been cheating on you," she quietly says, looking at me apologetically before glaring at him again.

" _What!_ " he asks. "I have not! Why would you say such a thing, Avery?"

"I saw proof," she says. This takes me by surprise.

"Proof?" I ask somewhat stunned. I look at her then slide my eyes to Tobias and can't keep the hurt I'm feeling off my face. "What proof?" My voice is low, unsteady. _I will not cry. I will not cry._ "Show me." She digs out her phone and shows me a series of three photographs that show my husband with Olivia. The first one is of her pressed up against him at the fence. It's taken from an angle where you can't see his face. I dismiss this as _proof_ immediately because I saw how uncomfortable she was making him. I was there. The second appears to be them kissing in the hallway in between the dorm rooms but something seems off. I compare the two photos and notice a height discrepancy between the two "Tobias'". The final picture is dark and quite hard to make out but it appears to be a picture of her sitting on his lap down in the chasm. "Sonofabitch." I recognize it immediately. That's when we made love in the chasm. She saw us. It's even the dress I was wearing. This photo has obviously been doctored. I immediately feel myself relax.

"Let me see," Tobias demands. I hand the phone to him, and he scrolls through the pictures. With each flick of his finger across the screen, his face gets redder.

"Avery, those pictures aren't real, I say. "Well the first one is but I was there when it was taken. There's a reason you can't see his face. He didn't like her touching him. I have no idea who took it, although I'd _really_ like to find out. The other two have been fabricated. The third one I know for a fact is actually _me_. I was wearing that dress earlier this week. When did Olivia share these with you?"

"That fucking little bitch," Tobias mutters so low I'm sure Avery and I are the only ones who hear it.

"Late last night," she says. "She sent them to all the initiates. She told us that she's having an affair with Four, was bragging about it actually. I thought you should know. I'm sorry I thought the worst of you, Four."

"Thanks for bringing this to our attention," he stiffly says. I know he's pissed at Olivia but it sounds like he's shooting the messenger so I put my hand on his Amity tattoo. He looks at me and sighs then he turns his attention to Avery. "I'm sorry if I'm being rude. I'm not upset with you. I don't like that someone is trying to mess with my marriage. She deserves my rage not you. _She'll_ be dealt with." She walks away after apologizing again, and we turn around in our seats to find 13 pairs of eyes looking back at us expectantly. Uriah and Christina are the only ones who know we are having issues with an overzealous initiate who has clearly overstepped her boundaries.

"I want her gone," I say matter-of-factly to Tobias. "This has to be a violation of some sort."

"It is and so do I," he says. I see pain, anger, and confusion mingling on his face. I know our friends want to bombard us with questions.

"Four has an admirer," is all I say. Either the tone of my voice or the look on my face tells them I don't want to talk about it.

"Let me get you something to eat. Biscuits and gravy, right?"

"I'll come with you," I say. "Christina, will you keep an eye on Tessa? Come on, buddy. Let's get some breakfast."

"Sure," she says. Tobias and I get up from the table, and I hold my hand out to Tyler. He takes it, and we go to the food line.

"Mommy, I want toast."

"Okay," I say. I get him 2 slices of French toast, bacon, and fresh fruit and get myself biscuits and gravy with sausage patties. "Will you hold my plate, and I'll get us some silverware?"

"Sure," Tobias says. "Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not but once she's gone, I will be."

"I'm so sorry, love." I look up into his face and give him a small smile.

"You have absolutely nothing to apologize for," I say. "You never encouraged her. Tyler, why don't you go with Daddy?"

"Otay!" he happily says. I watch them walk back to the table and put our plates down then I go and get forks, knives, spoons, and napkins. When I turn back around, I see Olivia strutting into the cafeteria, oblivious to the fact that we know about her deception. Tobias must see her too because he says something to Tyler before ruffling his hair then moves toward the center of the cafeteria.

"Olivia, I need to speak to you," he says, showing absolutely no emotion yet I can see that he's livid but only because I know him so well.

"Good morning," she brightly says, looking only at him. She reaches out to touch his chest like she did yesterday, and he catches her wrist.

"Do _not_ touch me," he says in his quiet, fierce Four voice, dropping her hand and taking a small step back. She appears to be genuinely stunned for a split second but recovers and smiles up at him sweetly.

"You're only saying that because _she's_ here, Tobias," she purrs, throwing me a withering glance. _Oh she did_ not _just use his name in the middle of the crowded cafeteria._ I take a step closer to her, wondering if the butter knife in my hand would cut her tongue out when I feel hands on my arms, holding me back. I glance behind me to find Zeke and Will standing on either side of me, each with a hand on me. "You can quit the charade. I know how you feel about me. You've told me enough times."

"There is something terribly wrong with you," Tobias says with a hatefully menacing tone. "I don't know why you're doing this. There is nothing going on between us. There never _will_ be anything between us. I love my wife. I want you to pack your belongings. You're not Dauntless material. You're done here."

" _What?_ " she screams. "You can't do this. You can't take my virginity and toss me aside. You made promises." Zeke and Will tighten their grips on me but I shake them off. I square my shoulders and glare at her, gripping the silverware tightly.

"You are embarrassing yourself, Olivia," I hiss between my teeth.

"I don't know what the hell you are trying to accomplish but it's not going to work," Tobias says, his voice raising with each word. He doesn't lose it very often but I know he's going to explode any minute. "I want every initiate in front of me this instant," he bellows. They all scramble to their feet and stand before us. "Who helped her with the photos?" His tone is back to cold and calculating. "You know what photos I'm talking about." The Dauntless-born and misfits stand mute before us. "Training is cancelled this morning. I want all of you back in the dorms. If you are seen outside the dormitory area before 12:30 to come here for lunch, you will join Olivia with the factionless. Now _GO!_ " They all turn on their heels and practically sprint out of the cafeteria. Olivia turns to go but I stop her.

"Where do you think you're going?" I ask. Tobias fishes his phone out of his pocket and flips through his email until he finds the offending pictures.

"Tell me what the meaning of these are? I know they're fake. Hell this last one is Tris. This second one isn't even me. You've been playing games since the second you got here. Tris figured that out immediately. Tell us why you're messing with our lives. _Now!_ "

"I'm not messing with your lives," she says, sounding wounded. "I love you. You said you love me." Tobias sighs.

"I did no such a thing, Olivia," he calmly says, his voice like ice. "I'm a happily married man." He exasperatedly runs his fingers through his hair and looks toward the ceiling. "Your behavior is highly inappropriate and has been since the day you got here. I'm only sorry that I chose to ignore your infatuation instead of addressing it."

"This is all _your_ fault, Tris," she hisses. My name rolls off her tongue like venom dripping from the fangs of a serpent. "He doesn't want you. He doesn't love you. He's told me how you got pregnant on purpose to trap him in a loveless relationship. He also told me that he doesn't want the two other brats you forced on him. They aren't his. He'll never love them the same." My eyes nearly pop out of my head. _What the hell did she just say?_ It takes a moment for me to process. Rage sets my blood to boiling. How _dare_ she?

"Enough!" Tobias bellows. For the first time I see fear in her eyes when she looks at my husband who looks like he wants to reach out and wrap his hands around her throat. I'm about ready to bitch slap her into the middle of next week or cut her heart out with the butter knife – believe me, no one could stop me right now – when I hear Tyler. I turn around to find him standing not two feet away from us, bottom lip quivering and tears running down his face. I release the knives, forks, and spoons, which drop to the floor with an echoing clang and quickly walk to him and pick him up. He wraps himself around me and buries his head in my neck. I realize that nothing else matters right now but my family, and he's devastated by what that hideous girl just said. I cradle his head and sway my body, comforting him in an effort to quiet him down. His tearful sobs are the only sounds in the massive room, which is usually so full of life. I realize now that we caused an unfortunate and unnecessary scene. She should have been dealt with in private. I turn back to Tobias.

"I suggest you get her out of my sight," I quietly say in a cold, deadly voice, "before I do something that I _won't_ regret." I walk over to our table, pick up Tessa's carrier, and stalk out of the cafeteria.


	35. Chapter 35

I don't know how long I aimlessly wander around Dauntless with Tyler clinging to me like he's afraid I might let him go and Tessa sleeping soundly in her carrier. I am absolutely livid but I'm also at a loss. I need to find someplace quiet so I can process what just happened and also so I can take care of my son who is still quietly sobbing. I soon find myself in the long, narrow hallway that leads to the infirmary and remember the standing appointment for my blood pressure check and decide it's as good a place as any to stop. Upon entering the waiting room, the unfamiliar intake nurse quickly ushers me through the double doors and back to an empty examination room. I sit Tessa's carrier down just inside the door but out of the way of anyone who should enter. I lower myself into the uncomfortable-looking metal chair in the corner of the room and instantaneously feel relief in my sore, tired back. I know I shouldn't be carrying either one of them around but it just couldn't be avoided this morning.

"Tyler, buddy, please look at Mommy," I quietly say to him, trying hard to not let my voice break. It takes him a while but he finally releases his hold on my neck and looks me in the eyes. How did that little bitch pick up on his insecurities? "That mean girl doesn't know what she's talking about. You know your Daddy loves you. He tells you all the time. He loves you just as much as I love you."

"But she say…" He can't finish his thought because he starts wailing again. I swear if I ever lay eyes on her again, she's dead. No one hurts my kids like this, and gets away with it. _No one._ I hold him tightly as tears roll down my face.

"I'm sorry you had to hear her lies," I whisper, kissing his hair. "I would give anything to take it all back. You're such a sweet boy. You don't deserve people making you think that Daddy and I love you any differently just because you're adopted. It's not true." _Wait a minute._ How does she know Tyler and Tessa aren't his biological children? They are the spitting image of him. For all she knows, he could have had a relationship before me. Realization slaps me in the face. Someone's helping her, someone who knows all about Tobias. Of this I am 100% certain. "You know Mommy and Daddy love you, right?"

"Yeah," he says, his voice small and wounded. "Why she say it?" I kiss his stray tears away and think about his question.

"I'm not really sure but I think she was trying to hurt Mommy and Daddy," I say. This confuses him.

"She huwt you?"

"Yes, she did hurt me. She made you cry, and that hurts my heart very, very much," I say as silent tears slowly descend my cheeks again. He reaches up and wipes them away.

"No cwy, Mommy," he says before throwing his arms around my neck. "I sowwy."

"I love you, Tyler," I say as we cling to each other. "You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for."

"No, but I do," Tobias says from the now open doorway. Tyler and I both look up at him. "Tris, love, nothing that little … nothing _Olivia_ said was true, not a single word. I have no idea why she said all those things. I hope you believe me." I stare into his remorseful eyes. He's in pain. That much is obvious.

"I know that everything she said is so far from the truth but I can't lie and say it didn't hurt," I say, sounding distant. "You need to reassure our son though." Tobias tries to take him from me but he refuses to go.

"No!" he wails, holding onto me for dear life. "I want my mommy!" He buries his head in my neck and starts crying again, wounding Tobias further. He kneels down in front of us and runs his hand lovingly over Tyler's head and back until he stops crying and peeks out at his father. They have identical anguished expressions on their faces, which constrict my heart painfully.

"Tyler, you have to believe me, I never said I didn't want you. It's just not true. Your mom, sisters, and you are the most important people in the whole world to me," he says, sounding distressed. "I may not be your biological father but that doesn't mean a thing. You are my flesh and blood, and I love you very much. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise. I am proud to be able to call you my son and it means so much when you call me Daddy." He chokes up on the last few words, and Tyler throws himself into his arms. Tobias cries as he holds him close, and I tear up, too. I wrap my arms around them both, and we all cry healing tears. I see movement out of the corner of my eye and find Isobel backing out of the room slowly. She stops when our eyes meet. I quickly wipe away the tears that are streaming down my face.

"I'm so sorry," she says, sounding distressed for walking in on a private moment. "I see I'm interrupting something."

"That's okay but can you give us a few more minutes?" I quietly ask.

"Of course," she says. She leaves the room, closing the door behind her.

"Tori, Harrison, and Will are escorting Olivia off the premises as we speak," he says, emotion thick in his voice. "I thought it was more important to be with you and the kids right now. I don't know what her plan was but, thankfully, it failed." My mind goes to all our unanswered questions and I wonder, _did_ she fail?

"I hope you're right about that," I mutter, mainly to myself. He furrows his brows at me but doesn't comment. "Are you feeling better, Tyler?"

"Yeah," he says. He wraps one arm around Tobias' neck and his other around mine and gives us each a big sloppy, wet kiss. "Love you."

"We love you, too," Tobias says.

"To the moon and back," I add.

"Moon and back," Tyler says with a small smile just as a knock interrupts us.

"I'm sorry about earlier," Isobel says when she comes back in the room. She looks highly uncomfortable.

"It's okay," I say. "It's been a rough morning but our problem has finally been dealt with."

"Well the quicker I get your blood pressure, the sooner you can get out of here and on to the rest of your day," she says. Tobias stands up with Tyler in his arms and moves away from me so I can get up. I very carefully get out of the chair and move to the steel examination table.

"Tris, are you okay? You're acting like something hurts."

"My back has been bothering me lately," I say. "I've modified my activities and don't normally carry the kids around because of the pain but this morning it couldn't be avoided, and before you lecture me, you really don't know what Four and I just had to endure." Tears flood my eyes while I talk but I will them away.

"No lecture, Tris. I know firsthand how unpredictable it is being a parent," she says, sympathy and understanding in her voice. "How long have you felt the pain?"

"I believe I first noticed it about three weeks ago. It was just after my last clinic appointment," I say as she examines my back, pressing all around, making me wince a few times. It's really tender today.

"I suggest that as soon as you leave here, you stop by the salon and get a massage. You have some very tight muscles in your lower back. A massage would loosen them up and alleviate some of your pain."

"Is that something I could help her with?" Tobias asks. "Give her a massage?"

"Have you given a massage before?" she asks.

"A couple times," he says.

"Yes, it's definitely something that can be done at home," she says. "The reason I suggested the salon is because they have a special table where she can lie flat on her front, which she might find more relaxing. Tris, you would need to find a position that is comfortable for you. Obviously, don't put any pressure on your belly. Lying on your side with pillows supporting your abdomen is a good one to try. The use of oils or lotions is also recommended. It just makes it easier to give the massage."

"Okay," he says.

"Alright. Let's get your blood pressure." She wraps the cuff around my upper arm and takes my pressure not once, not twice, but three times.

"Is there something wrong?" I ask, starting to worry. She stands with her hands on her hips with an odd look on her face for longer than I can stand. "Isobel! Tell me right now what's going on."

"Just how stressful was your morning?" she asks as she gets her phone out and messages someone.

"To be honest, it was hell," I say before recounting what happened in the cafeteria for her, leaving out what the bitch said about our kids. Tyler doesn't need to hear that garbage again. Just as I finish the story there's a knock on the door, and Zander walks into the room.

"Thank you for coming, Dr. Parrish," Isobel says.

"Of course," he says then turns toward me. "Hi, Tris. How are you feeling?"

"Irritated, annoyed, slightly pissed off, and concerned," I say. "What. Is. Going. On?"

"You really need to calm down, Tris," he says as he takes his stethoscope from around his neck and listens to my heart and lungs. "How are you feeling … physically?"

"My back hurts, and I'm a little tired," I say. "Other than that I feel fine."

"Have you had any episodes of dizziness or headaches in the past week?" Zander asks as he looks at my chart.

"No," I say. "Will you _please_ tell me what's going on?" My imagination is starting to run away with me.

"Your blood pressure is dangerously high this morning," he says. My heart starts hammering painfully in my chest. _What have I done?_ I let the bitch get to me, and now Peanut could be in danger.

"Four," I squeak. He sits Tyler in the chair, kisses his head, then comes to sit next to me on the examination table. He wraps his arm around my shoulders, and I hold onto him tightly.

"You're probably not going to like this but I've already heard about what happened in the cafeteria this morning," Zander says. He's right, I don't like that what transpired this morning has spread around the compound so quickly. "More than likely the stress from that situation is what's causing your elevated blood pressure. If you hadn't had that run-in this morning, I would immediately put you on modified bed rest but before I make my final decision, I want an updated urinalysis. We need to check your protein level. If it's elevated, too, I'll have no choice but to order bed rest. Try not to worry."

"That's easier said than done," I mutter under my breath. Tobias hears though and squeezes my hand.

I follow Isobel out into the hallway where she gives me a specimen cup. When I come out of the bathroom, she takes the little cup and tells me that I can go back to my room. I try not to think about anything other than calming thoughts in an effort to get my blood pressure down. Tobias even helps me with some deep breathing exercises. When Tessa wakes up from her nap, I get her out of her carrier and hold her while Tobias sits next to me with Tyler in his lap. Tessa's good mood is contagious and soon we're all laughing along with her.

"It's nice to hear laughter coming from this room," Zander says as he comes through the door.

"Tess silly," Tyler says.

"I can see that," he says. "I'd like to get another reading." He wraps the cuff around my left arm after I shift Tessa to my right and takes my blood pressure.

"It's come down since the last check, which is a great sign. Your urine protein is slightly elevated but it isn't any higher than it was at your last clinic visit so I'm going to let you go today. Come back in the morning, and we'll check your numbers again. If they are elevated, I'm ordering bed rest for you. It's _imperative_ that you stay away from stress right now."

"Well my biggest form of stress is gone now," I say. "I was fine until last Monday."

"Yeah, I can see that in your chart," he says. "Do you want me to give you something for your back? It would be pregnancy safe and give you better long-lasting relief than the over-the-counter acetaminophen."

"As long as I can take it only when I need to," I say. He writes out a prescription and hands it to me.

"I want to see you back here first thing tomorrow morning," he says. "Don't let that wannabe homewrecker get you down, Tris. Anyone who matters knows how much you two love each other and your kids. I'll see you guys later. Bye, Tyler." He ruffles his hair before he turns to leave.

"Bye, Zan," he says.

"You guys are free to go," Isobel says. "Rest would be beneficial for you, Tris, but I'm not going to order it since Dr. Parrish didn't."

"What's your recommendation?" Tobias asks.

"Rest," she says. "And zero stress, which I know sounds impossible but it's for the sake of your baby."

"We'll drop the kids off at daycare then I'll rest until we have to go to the training room for the practice fights. Four already has me sit down so that shouldn't be too stressful."

"That sounds like a good compromise," she says. "I just want to see you deliver a healthy baby."

"That's all we want, too," Tobias says.

"If I don't see you tomorrow, I'll see you Saturday night. Carter and I are looking forward to it," she says. "Take care of yourself."

"Thanks for everything," I say then she leaves us alone. After picking up my prescription for some stronger pain meds from the pharmacy, we drop the kids off at daycare then silently walk home hand-in-hand, enjoying each other's company.

"I would like for you to rest," Tobias says when we walk into our apartment. "How about that massage?"

"That would be nice," I say. "My back does really hurt." I take one of the pills Zander prescribed with a big glass of water.

"I'm so sorry," he says, sounding like a lost little boy. When I turn to look at him, he has an expression to match. I'm at his side in a second, wrapping my arms around his waist. I nuzzle his chest until he encircles me with his arms.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Tobias Eaton," I whisper into his chest. "None of this is your fault."

"Why does it feel that way then?" he sighs. "She set her sights on me for some unknown reason. I think that's what's bothering me the most. We have no idea why she did what she did. I refuse to believe it was simply because she had a crush. She was trying to destroy us."

"She's not alone," I say.

"What do you mean?" he asks, confusion filling his face.

"She knows too much about you," I say. "She knows your name. She knows that Tyler and Tessa are adopted. For someone who _just_ joined Dauntless and only hangs around with other transfers, she knows entirely too much."

"That thought crossed my mind too but I pushed it aside," he says. "She's from Candor. We don't have any enemies in Candor."

"That we know of," I scoff. "Have the transfers' files arrived yet? Maybe there is something in hers that would give us a clue."

"I'll look into it," he says with a sigh. "You're supposed to be resting not thinking about _her_."

"You're right," I say.

"Why don't you go up and get my lotion? It's on the dresser. I'll figure out where I'll be the most comfortable."

"Wouldn't that be in bed?" he asks.

"Even though you have a point, I think we should stay down here," I say. If we go upstairs I know what will happen. He nods then ascends the stairs in silence. He's still brooding about something, and I intend to figure out what it is.

I look around the living room, and my eyes settle on the island, and I get an idea. I take my tank top off, fold it, and set it on the end table to get ready for the massage. When I turn around Tobias is standing at the base of the stairs with several pillows in his hands, staring at me. I walk over to him and take the pillows from him and throw them on the floor in front of the couch. I take his hand and lead him to the kitchen where I sit on one of the backless barstools and lean forward and rest my head on my arms on the island. He gently starts rubbing the coconut oil lotion into my lower back, which feels heavenly, and I immediately begin to relax.

"This feels really good," I moan on the verge of sleep. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he says up against my ear. He rubs my back for about 15 more minutes then he sighs.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing," he says. I sit up and twirl around on the barstool, facing him.

"Don't shut me out. If you do it will just cause more stress for me."

"I just feel bad that all this is happening," he says, running his hand through his hair. He's dwelling. "I should have put her in her place when she hit on me and maybe this wouldn't be happening."

"Like I've told you, this isn't your fault. I knew I was predisposed for preeclampsia so I should have been doing everything in my power to keep myself calm and stress free. But since _she_ jumped into Dauntless I've been anything but. I've been jealous and irrational, stressed out and agitated. My self-esteem issues and pregnancy hormones are in overdrive, making me question everything. I've had doubts about you, me, _us_."

"Why would you question us?" he asks.

"When a younger, gorgeous guy starts plotting to take me away from you, you'll understand," I say a bit sarcastically then I frown and shake my head. "I'm sorry. I got scared." I whisper my declaration. He stares at me then slowly starts shaking his head.

"Gorgeous? _Olivia_? I don't think so," he says, looking at me like I'm crazy.

"It's okay if you thought she was pretty," I say. "I wouldn't get mad." He looks at me incredulously.

"I do _not_ find Olivia attractive at all," he says. "As a matter of fact, my first impression was that she was white trash. Getting to know her only reinforced that belief."

"You can't tell me that I'm the only girl you think is beautiful," I say, rolling my eyes.

"Beautiful? You and our daughter," he says, perfectly seriously. When I start to object, he puts his finger over my mouth and shakes his head, silencing me. "I'm not saying I've never thought another girl was pretty before. Shauna, Ciara, Ella … they're all very pretty but they don't hold a candle to you." He takes a step forward and wraps his arms around me. "There is only one woman in the world for me." He presses a soft kiss to my temple. "You are the only one I will ever touch." He presses his lips against my forehead as he glides his fingers down my bare arms. "You are the only one I will ever kiss." He softly kisses each closed eyelid. "You are the only one I will ever make love to." He places butterfly kisses along my jawline up to my left ear. "You are the only one I will ever love." His lips brush against mine in a kiss that starts out tender then subtly changes. I wrap my arms around his neck, tangle my fingers in his hair, and pull him close as we let our tongues glide sensually along each other's.

"I love you, Tobias Eaton," I say against his mouth. "I know without a doubt that you will be the only man in my heart … ever. You own it. You own me." He runs his hands up my back and skillfully unlatches my bra then slowly slides it down my arms, baring my chest to him.

"Do you want to do this, love?" he asks as he kisses his way up my neck, his hands gently massaging my breasts. "I don't want you feeling like I'm trying to solve our problems with sex."

"Yes, I want to," I say, my voice breathy and need-filled. "Very much." I push him back, and stand up from the barstool. I drag his t-shirt up his body and over his head, never taking my eyes off of his. He pushes the barstool out of the way, picks me straight up, and sits me on the island. He wastes no time pulling my yoga pants and panties off in one fell swoop. He takes a step back and slides his jeans and boxer briefs down his magnificent body, leaving him gloriously naked. My eyes roam over his unmatched form and a deep-seated throbbing need materializes between my thighs. He stands back just out of my reach, never taking his eyes off mine. While we're staring at each other, his eyes dilate until they are totally black.

"Do you still want me, Tris?" I beckon him to me with my finger and boldly take his hand and put it on my womanhood so he can feel the dampness. I want him … badly. He slowly slips a finger inside me and watches my face closely as he gently slides it in and out while circling my nubbin with his thumb.

"Oh, God! That feels so good," I moan. "Please don't stop." He adds a second finger then resumes the pleasurable rhythm. I grab his face and shove my tongue into his mouth, kissing him hard while I move my hips to meet his probing fingers. "Ah." When I feel my release nearing, he thrusts harder and circles my nubbin faster. He knows my body so well. I gasp for air against his lips as I convulse around his thrusting digits. "Oh, shit! Tobias! Oh, God, baby!"

"Are you feeling better?" he asks with his cocky grin after I come down from my high, removing his fingers from my body. I'm still panting.

"Yes," I say. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he says, moving his mouth to kiss my neck.

"I think it's your turn," I say.

"No," he says against my ear. "I need to be inside you." He picks me up and carries me into the living room, kissing me passionately the entire way. He puts me down and slouches on the couch then pulls me onto his lap. I kiss him fervently, reach between us, grasp his manhood, and position him at my entrance. I ease myself down onto his hard flesh then start slowly moving myself up and down, going deeper with each thrust until he's fully seated in me then I stop.

"Oh, God!" I say as he slowly rotates his hips. I toss my head back and feel him stretching me, filling me so deep inside. "You feel so good." I rest my arms on his and lift myself with my knees then press down to meet every one of his upward thrusts. We move together as one, never missing a beat, staring deeply into each other's eyes. He glides his hands from my hips to my breasts and massages them gently.

"I love you," he roughly says as we increase our pace further. He moves his hands back to my hips and steadies our movement, thrusting up into me fiercely, overwhelming and muddling my senses. I close my eyes just as I'm seized by a rush of sensation so intense that I nearly pass out from it. He continues moving me up and down on his shaft then stiffens below me right before spilling himself into my depths. I collapse into his arms letting my wildly racing heart slow while I pant into his chest. I lift myself off of him and enjoy the feel of our naked bodies next to each other. A few tears escape down my cheek and on to his chest.

"Hey, don't cry," he says, kissing them away.

"I'm sorry," I say. "I love you, Tobias. No one has ever loved someone as much as I love you."

"That's how much I love you." I peek up at the clock and see that we have plenty of time before lunch. "Can we lie down? I love sitting this way but I don't want to hurt our Peanut."

"Of course." I get up off his lap and he lies down, and I lie facing him, our arms and legs a tangled mess.

"I'm glad we have a big couch," I giggle.

"Me too," he says. "How are you feeling?"

"Very relaxed, Mr. Eaton," I say.

"I'm glad to hear that, Mrs. Eaton."

"You know making love is so much more relaxing than a massage," I say as we laugh softly together. A knock on the door interrupts us and I freeze. _Crap!_ We're lying in each other's arms in the middle of our living room, naked.

"Just be quite, they'll go away," he whispers against my ear but whoever it is doesn't.

"Four, Tris," Tori impatiently says through the door. "Open up. I know you're in there." How does she know that?

"Shit," he mutters. "Just a minute, Tori." We quickly scramble to throw our clothes on, and he opens the door. "What's so important?"

"Hello to you, too," she says as she walks into our apartment, a look of concern on her face. "We have a problem with Olivia."

"What about her?" I ask. "I thought she was escorted off the property." The look on her face tells me that's not true. My head starts throbbing painfully.

"That's what I need to talk to you two about," she says. "I can't kick her out because she has leveled some serious accusations against you, Four. She has to stay until the situation is resolved."

"You've _got_ to be kidding me," he angrily says. "I didn't _do_ anything." I feel my knees give out just before my world goes black.


	36. Chapter 36

I momentarily wonder how Tobias and I got to the little farm on the outskirts of Amity, which has become one of my favorite places on earth but quickly dismiss the thought. I don't care how we got here, I'm just happy to be lying in his strong, loving arms under the stately oak tree by the crystal clear blue pond. We're wrapped around each other, laughing, talking, and simply enjoying each other's company. He's caressing my hair and kissing my temple, telling me everything is going to be alright. _Why is he saying that?_

"Please open your eyes, love," he pleads. _I wonder why he sounds so sad._ "Come back to me, Beatrice Grace." I drag my heavy eyelids open and confusion muddles my already foggy brain. My beloved Amity farm slips away only to be replaced by sterile white walls of a dreary infirmary examination room. I sigh. It was just a dream; a lovely dream but a dream nonetheless. I turn my aching head to find Tobias' red-rimmed eyes gazing down at me.

"Hi," I mutter. "What's wrong, baby?" I reach up to caress his sad face but stop when I see the IV in the back of my hand. "What's going on, Tobias? Why am I here? Am I sick?" He leans over and gently presses his lips to my forehead.

"I have been so worried about you, Tris," he says, obviously distraught. "You collapsed at home this morning … _yesterday_ morning. You don't remember?" I try to think back but my mind is flooded with images of making love at the farm and I smile. "Why are you smiling? I've been worried sick. It's almost 3 in the morning. You've been unconscious for _hours_."

"Were we at Amity?" I ask, bewildered. "I remember making love." The small smile turning up my lips evaporates when I take in his expression. He's staring at me quite alarmed.

"That was two weeks ago, love," he slowly whispers. _Two weeks?_ My heart starts pounding heavily in my chest as evident by the EKG that I must be hooked to. The steady beeping has risen to a high-pitched scream. _I've been unconscious for two weeks?_ No, he just said I collapsed this morning.

"We made love, though, didn't we?" That seems pretty clear even though I swear we were under the oak tree by the pond.

"Yeah," he says sounding somewhat relieved. "Last night and again this morning." He wraps his arm around the top of my head and plays with my hair while he laces our fingers together.

"I must be mixing my dream with reality," I say with a yawn. "I was having the most wonderful dream right before I woke up. We were by the pond in each other's arms then I opened my eyes … and I was here." I hear the disappointment in my voice. "Why _am_ I here? You haven't told me." I take a mental inventory of my body and besides extreme fatigue and a dull, throbbing headache, nothing is wrong that I can determine.

"I need to tell a nurse you woke up so they can page Zander," he says.

"What aren't you telling me?" I ask.

"I'll tell you everything when I get back," he says. "I promise but I need to let the staff know that you woke up."

"Okay," I say. "Hurry back." I'm watching him walk toward the door when Marlene walks in dressed in black scrubs with a stethoscope draped around her neck.

"Oh good, you're awake," she says, sounding relieved. "How are you feeling?"

"Confused. I wish someone would tell me why I'm here," I say. Marlene and Tobias share a worried glance, and I can't help but wonder what it's about. "My head hurts, and I'm so tired even though Four says I've been asleep all day. What's wrong with me?"

"Your blood pressure has been dangerously elevated all day," she says as she presses a button on a machine next to my bed. The blood pressure cuff that's already wrapped around my upper arm tightens until it's almost painful then gradually starts releasing. I hadn't even noticed that I was attached to it until she turned it on. "I don't have any other details I'm afraid." She notes the reading from the machine in my chart. "Your numbers are still elevated."

"Would you page Dr. Parrish for me, Marlene?" Tobias says. "Tris seems to have some memory loss."

"Of course. He asked us to contact him when she woke up anyway but I will page him STAT." She looks at Tobias as she answers then turns my way. "What's the last thing you clearly remember?" she asks as she continues to write in my chart. My brain is in such a fog that I really have to think hard about the answer.

"Dancing at Will and Christina's reception," I say. "Did I hit my head or something?" _Why can't I remember?_ It's _very_ frustrating. "What's going on? Someone _please_ talk to me."

"I'm afraid I don't have any answers for you, Tris," she says as she listens to my heart and lungs. "I'll page Dr. Parrish. He'll be here as soon as possible. Feel better."

"Thanks, Marlene," I say, sounding defeated. As she turns and walks out the door, my stomach growls.

"I'm hungry, Tobias."

"I'll get you something to eat," he says. "Would you like anything in particular?"

"Something light would be nice," I say. "Then will you tell me what's going on and what I missed while I was out?"

"I'll tell you everything I know after you've eaten. You're probably famished since you haven't had anything since the cake at the reception." He kisses my forehead and gives me a weary smile. He looks so tired. "I'll be right back, love."

"Thank you," I say. I curl up on my side after he leaves me alone, trying to remember what happened yesterday but my mind is frustratingly blank. A sheet of paper on the hospital table captures my attention so I pick it up and smile. Tyler drew me a picture. It's nothing more than a page full of colorful scribbles but to me it's a priceless masterpiece. About five minutes later, I hear a commotion in the hallway, and I listen carefully to the soft voices.

"What are you doing here?" Tobias asks someone and he's not being very nice.

"I came to see if Tris is awake yet and how you are doing," Tori says. "I know today hasn't been easy on you."

"She finally woke up about an hour ago but she's acting strangely," he says. _I have?_ Hhm. "I don't think it's a good idea for you to be here. I hold you partially responsible for her being in this condition." What in the world could Tori have done to cause me to be in the infirmary? "If you had just kicked that little bitch out of Dauntless like she deserved then none of this would be happening.

"Four, I _am_ sorry," she says.

"Sorry doesn't cut it, Tori." He's _very_ angry. I'm not sure I've ever heard him speak this way to anyone. "I could have lost my wife today. I could have lost my daughter." _What?_ "Her blood pressure was so high." I hear him choke on his words. "Olivia _has_ to be gone before Tris gets out of the infirmary." _Olivia?_ "I didn't do the things she's accusing me of. I never touched her, I never kissed her, and I sure as hell never fu … had sex with her. If you have to investigate these claims, you don't know me very well." Some things are coming back to me at the mention of her name but what does she have to do with me being in the infirmary?

"I believe you, Four, but in the interest of propriety, there _needs_ to be an investigation," she says.

"Fine," he says huffily.

"I understand why you're upset," she says.

"I don't think you do," he says. I notice his tone has changed. He sounds … lost. "Olivia is trying to break up my marriage and tear apart my family for some unknown reason. You didn't hear the lies she told Tris in front of everyone in the cafeteria." _Lies?_ _Oh, what have I forgotten?_ "You know what the worst part is, I honestly don't think she even likes me. I think she's going out of her way to make it _appear_ as if she does. This is all a game to her."

"I've talked to her at length, Four," she says. "I think she has it _bad_ for you."

"I really don't care," he says. "She is nothing but a nuisance, has been since day one. It took everything I had today not to wrap my hands around her throat and choke the life out of her when she said that I didn't want my kids … in front of Tyler. The bitch broke his heart and made him cry. Investigate if you must but _get_ … _her_ … _out_ … _of_ … _here_. I promised Tris that she'd be gone, and I plan to keep that promise. While you're at it, find out who helped her with the photos. They're playing with fire, messing with my personal life. When I find out who it is, and I will, they're going to be out on their ass, too." Photos? Lies? Tyler? My head starts hurting trying to remember what he's talking about and tears come to my eyes.

"The decision hasn't been made but you might have to go under truth serum," she says.

"I'll go under truth serum only if you put her under first," he says. "As a matter of fact a formal interrogation would be helpful. Tris and I both have thought she has had an alternative motive for joining Dauntless."

"I'll call Jack in the morning and schedule it," she says. "I better get home. Maybe I can still get a couple hours sleep. Give Tris my best."

"I brought you a turkey sandwich and some chips," he says when he comes back in the room. He pulls the adjustable hospital table over my lap and puts the food along with a bottle of water on it.

"Thanks," I mutter. "Everything is kind of fuzzy, Tobias. Why am I here? I heard you in the hallway talking to Tori. What did Olivia do this time? She said something to Tyler that made him cry? I'll _kill_ the bitch." He sits on the edge of the bed and takes my hand.

"Calm down, love. I don't care if it's for me, for you, or for Peanut but _please_ calm down. Eat first then I will tell you everything," he says. "Zander is on his way to check you out." I unwrap my sandwich and take a bite. It tastes so good.

"I heard you tell Tori that you could have lost us," I say when I finish my food. I worriedly rub my belly as I ask the question. "Why?"

"Your blood pressure has been dangerously high today," he says. "That's why you have to stay calm. He pauses like he doesn't want to continue but finally does. "We had a run-in with Olivia in the cafeteria before breakfast. I kicked her out of Dauntless but she told Tori some things that were _not_ true and now there's an investigation. I'm sorry. I guess I didn't handle the situation very well. I should have put her in her place and kicked her ass to the curb after she came on to me."

"Run-in?" I whisper. It feels like there is a memory tickling the outskirts of my brain, so close and yet so far. "I think I know why this morning is fuzzy … or yesterday morning. I don't think I _want_ to remember." He moves the tray table and sits down beside me, holding my hands.

"It's been one hell of a day," he says. "I was so scared. Don't _ever_ do that to me again."

"I'll try not to," I say leaning over and gently pressing my lips to his. "Where are the kids?"

"They're at my place," Zander says as he walks into the room. "They're both fast asleep and have been for hours. They're in good hands. How are you feeling, Tris?" Tobias gets off the bed and rolls the table out of his way.

"I have a headache, and I'm really tired but mainly I'm frustrated," I say. "I have no clear recollection of what happened today. Why is that?"

"Stress," he says. "Let's check your blood pressure." He hits the button on the blood pressure machine and the cuff starts squeezing my arm. "It's higher than your last few readings but you were unconscious then." He pulls a rolling stool up beside the bed and sits down then checks my pulse. "Pulse is good. If I were to check your heart rate on the monitor, would I find a spike since you woke up?"

"Yes," I confess. "I was confused and scared."

"It's imperative that you stay calm," he says. "Stress is your number one enemy right now, Tris. I want you on modified bed rest for the next five days, which means I want you off your feet and resting the majority of the time. The kids need to go to daycare like normal. A short daily shower is fine. Bathroom breaks are fine." I raise my brows at that. "Yes, some women on strict bed rest have to use a bedpan. Count yourself amongst the lucky ones. No picking up Tyler or Tessa. Have Four bring her to you for her feedings. You may fix yourself a quick meal but I would prefer someone else doing the cooking this week. No sex."

"No sex?" I say, disappointment ringing clear in my voice. "But that's probably my greatest stress reliever."

"It also elevates your blood pressure so _no_ … _sex_ ," he says.

"Fine," I mutter.

"If you think you can follow these instructions, I'll send you home for the next five days. Otherwise this room is going to be your home away from home."

"I'll be more relaxed at home," I say. "I would like to go home, when you release me of course."

"As soon as you've had two normal readings in a row you will be discharged," he says. "As for your memory loss, it's just your brains way of telling you that what you're dealing with is too much. Some great stress relievers are meditation, yoga, massage."

"Sex," I murmur and he chuckles at me.

"Are you pouting?" Zander asks.

"Yeah, sorry," I say with a long drawn-out sigh. "I'm just being difficult. It's in my nature but if you told me to stand on my head while reciting the alphabet backwards I'd do it for my baby."

"I know," he says. "That actually sounds more like a great dare for your next Candor or Dauntless party. Keep it and give it to Zeke. I'd pay to see that."

"He'd do it, too," Tobias says.

"I'll leave you two alone," he says. "A nurse will be in periodically to check your blood pressure. Two normal readings in a row and you can go. Get some rest, both of you. And that's an order."

"Thanks, Zander," I say. I watch him walk out the door and lie back in bed.

"Will you stay with me?" I ask. "I always feel better when you're with me."

"Of course. There's no place else I'd rather be." He walks to the other side of my bed, slips his shoes off and slides under the thin blanket beside me. I feel myself relax the moment his arms are around me.

"I'm going to rest my eyes for a bit," I say. "I'm sorry about all this. I love you."

"None of this is your fault," he says as he kisses the top of my head. "I love you, too, so very much. Sleep, love. I'll be here when you wake up." I drift off in his arms, yet I'm aware of my surroundings. The nurse comes in four times before she gets two normal readings in a row, and they finally discharge me to home. Tobias wheels me up to the Pire in a borrowed wheelchair then insists on carrying me up to bed. Thankfully it's still early and there aren't a lot of Dauntless members milling about giving me sympathetic smiles.

"Are you going to work this morning?" I ask as we're lying in bed. "I'm sure you haven't had any sleep."

"I should check on the transfers," he says. "I missed the entire day yesterday. Uriah covered for me during their practice bouts. I'd rather stay here and pamper you though." He's lying behind me, lovingly running one hand over my bump. I turn over so I can see his face.

"You never told me what I missed," I say.

"You missed me sitting at your bedside begging you to wake up," he says. "I was by your side the entire day. I never left."

"What did Olivia accuse you of?" I ask.

"I'm not sure I should tell you this," he says. "It will be stressful for you."

"I think it will be worse if I'm left in the dark," I say. "I heard your entire conversation with Tori. She accused you of abusing your power, didn't she?" He's quiet, staring into my eyes for the longest time. I'm about to roll over when he sighs.

"She told Tori, Will, and Harrison that I promised to alter her initiation results if she slept with me. She went on to say that we were having a full blown affair under everyone's noses. She also told them that I promised to leave you and the kids for her. She claimed I gave her my name. She also claimed that we had sex here and in our old apartment." He puts his hands on either side of my face and waits for my reaction.

"Why would anyone believe that was true?" I ask. "It's absurd." I put my hands on his and lace our fingers together. "I remember what she said in the cafeteria. I don't know how I could forget it. I would really like to see the kids before I fall asleep. How is Tyler?"

"The last I saw him he was worried about you," he says.

"Can you go get them for me?"

"Of course," he says. "Can I get anything for you before I go?"

"Yes, a kiss," I say. He leans up against me and gives me a quick tender kiss. "Thank you." I close my eyes after he leaves and must fall asleep. The next thing I know Tyler is whispering by my head but my boy really doesn't understand the concept because he's not very quiet. I open my eyes, and he's smiling at me.

"Hi, Mommy," he says. "You feelin' bettew?"

"I am because you are here," I say. "Thank you for drawing me the beautiful picture. It really made my day when I woke up."

"Tess helped," he says.

"She did?" I can't hide my surprise.

"Yes, she did," Tobias says. "She held a crayon and made a wavy line but we had to take it away from her when she tried to put it in her mouth."

"That's yucky," Tyler says.

"That's right. You shouldn't eat crayons."

"That what I told hew."

"You're a great big brother," I tell him. "Where's Tessa?" Tobias goes into her room and comes back a moment later. She's asleep. He very gently puts her into my arms after I sit up and she wakes up.

"Sshh, don't cry," I say. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"She's probably hungry," Tobias says. "Stella had to get up and feed her in the middle of the night." Oh, my stress eating baby. She could sense the trouble yesterday also. "Tyler, why don't you come with me and help me make Mommy breakfast in bed." He nods excitedly and goes to get off the bed but turns back and gives me a hug and a kiss.

"I love you, Tyler. I love you, Tobias," I say.

"Love you, Mommy," Tyler says as Tobias says, "I love you, too. You have no idea how happy I am that you're home." I watch them until they turn to go downstairs.

"I love you, too, little one," I say as I put her to my breast. Tobias was right, she's very hungry. "Don't ever let someone try to tell you that Mommy and Daddy aren't your _real_ parents. We love you to the moon and back. You're our precious little angel. And Peanut you _were_ conceived in love. There has never been a single moment that Mommy and Daddy have not loved and wanted you. That evil girl was lying." I pat my rounded belly lovingly then decide to forget about Olivia. I refuse to let her hurt us anymore.

Tobias and Tyler bring me a bamboo lap tray with a plate full of fluffy scrambled eggs, crispy thick cut bacon, mixed fruit with honey and yogurt, and wheat toast with honey butter; freshly squeezed orange juice; a cup of black tea; and a vase with four red roses, one from each of the people who love me the most, he explains. After we're done, he calls Stella to pick up the kids and take them to daycare.

"Bye, Tyler," I say. "You have a good day. I'll see you when you get home." He hugs me tightly and I squeeze him just as hard. "I love you."

"Bye. Love you, too, Mommy," he says. Tobias hands me Tessa and I get an inkling of just how difficult this week is going to be.

"Bye, baby girl. Mommy will miss you today. I love you so much." Tobias takes her back and heads downstairs just in time for Stella to pick them up. When he comes back upstairs I convince him to lie down with me again. "You're exhausted. Please at least consider getting a few hours' sleep before going to the training room."

"I can do that," he says. "Now roll back over so I can wrap my arms around you."

"So bossy," I murmur as I roll over. He pulls me against him, and I relax the moment I'm in his arms. I'm out like a light within seconds. Apparently passing out is exhausting.


	37. Chapter 37

The past four days have passed excruciatingly slowly. I had no idea how boring it could be just lying around doing nothing of importance all day. I've thumbed through numerous magazines brought to me by Christina, Stella, Marlene, Isobel, and even Avery who have all visited me at one time or another. I finally finished the book I started just before I fell from the path last winter so I can't call this downtime a total loss. I tried to get into another story but it was useless. I did watch every Tobias-approved romantic comedy we own though. Some were better than expected but I'm so sick of the genre. I swear I would kill for a good edge of your seat thriller right about now but that kind of movie has been nixed by my husband. It might elevate my blood pressure.

One thing Zander forgot to mention when he put me on modified bed rest was the plan to have a nurse come three times a day to poke and prod me. Not only have they been taking my blood pressure at every visit but they've also taken blood and urine samples in the mornings. After the first awkward visit with a nurse I had never seen before in my life, I requested that Marlene or Isobel be the ones to come to my home for these visits. I even had Christina give Marlene my spare apartment key so they could let themselves in during the daytime hours so I didn't have to get up and answer the door since I'm supposed to stand as little as possible. With every check, my blood pressure has gotten better and better, and the last three readings were in the normal range, which is excellent. I hope it stays that way once I'm okayed to go back to my regular routine ... _if_ I'm allowed.

On Tuesday, in between _How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days_ and _The Proposal_ , I looked over the plans that Gunner gave me Sunday on our fence tour. I had forgotten all about them between the excitement of Will and Christina's surprise wedding and the stress of Monday's run-in with the bitch and the subsequent banishment to my bedroom. I laid them out on the bed and studied them carefully. Both designs were wonderful but when I saw the second set of drawings it was like he lifted what I envisioned for the room straight out of my head and put it on paper. Since I had the time, I also decided what kinds of murals I wanted in the nursery, playroom, and Tessa's room. I decided against putting any kind of mural in our room because I just couldn't come up with an idea I truly loved. I called Gunner after I had supper with Tobias, Tyler, and Tess that night and told him what I decided on. He's finishing up a project for another client then he will start building the furniture for Tyler's room. He estimated it to be completed by the end of next week, which is great because by that time the apartment will be finished being deep cleaned and painted.

On Wednesday night after a long boring day in my bedroom, Will and Christina brought Liam over for a visit. Christina and I lounged on my bed with Liam and Tessa napping in between us while Tobias, Will, and Tyler were downstairs making a wonderful supper. She gushed the entire time about how wonderful her new husband was. She told me things went _very_ well for them on their wedding night. I have to admit she seemed more at ease than she has in a long time. She also told me that because he planned the wedding, he's letting her plan a honeymoon for immediately following initiation. I told her all about the lighthouse in Amity, which she seemed interested in but she wanted to keep her options open. I was really expecting some gossip from her but she said she'd been too busy with the initiates to hear anything good. Something in her tone made me believe that Tobias and I are the gossip going around. I brushed the thought off rather quickly though. Thoughts like that would be sure to raise my blood pressure. I did go downstairs that evening and sat in the oversized club chair and had supper with our friends. Tobias made a scrumptious meatloaf with garlic mashed potatoes, fresh green beans, and apple salad, and Will made a chocolate cake from scratch that was out of this world. We joked that Uriah must never learn of his hidden talent or he'd have Will baking cakes for him every day.

On Thursday morning, Isobel arranged with Marlene and the infirmary to have an extended visit with me after business was finished. She brought some warm wild blueberry coffeecake she made, and we caught up over decaffeinated coffee and hearty slices of the delectable baked good that she slathered with honey butter. It was better than the cafeterias muffins so I asked for the recipe, which she gladly gave me. Unfortunately, we had to cancel our double date for Saturday night, which was disappointing but we swore to each other that we would all get together one day soon. Just after Isobel left, Stella dropped by to keep me company for a couple hours. She decided to check on me before going to a meeting at Erudite. After she shared that while she was pregnant with Zane she had some complications that kept her on bed rest for six weeks, we commiserated. The best advice she gave me that day was to remember what bed rest accomplished, a healthy baby in my arms. That evening I received a visitor who I was surprised to see, Avery. I wasn't the only one who was happy to see her though. Tyler was _ecstatic_. She had to promise to play with him before he would let her come upstairs to see me. She felt guilty for being the one who told us about the bitch's deception, which inadvertently led to the bed rest. Tobias didn't want her talking to me about that but I convinced him he can't hide all bad things from me for the rest of this pregnancy. I assured Avery she wasn't responsible for what happened. I actually thanked her again for immediately coming to us, telling her that things could have been a lot worse if she hadn't. She couldn't stay long since she had to be back in the dorms by 10 p.m. but she made sure she played with Tyler before she left.

Tobias has been torn between his duty to Dauntless and wanting to stay home with me. I won't lie, it would have been nice to have him here, taking care of me but I convinced him I was fine and that the misfits needed him more than I did. Last night after he put the kids to bed, he told me about each of the transfers' progress to date. They've had three practice fights, except for Murphy and Sadie who each sat out one match when there was an odd number of initiates. Brody and Grant have won all their fights but, unfortunately, Alec and Kevin have lost all theirs. The rest of the transfers have won either one or two matches. In his opinion, Sadie has improved the most and Zoey has been struggling the most. He said that she tries hard but she just doesn't have the body strength of the other girls. If her first fight hadn't been against the bitch, she probably would be in the same category as Alec and Kevin.

Today is my fifth day of modified bed rest, and it's also the day that Tobias is supposed to go to Candor for interrogation under truth serum to answer the charges brought against him on Monday. It's irritating that he has to do this but a small part of me is glad because it will prove to everyone that he didn't do what she's accusing him of. I still don't quite understand why the process has taken so long. Tori and Will interviewed the initiates, both transfers and Dauntless-born, on Tuesday. They also interviewed Uriah and Christina at length, at least that's what Christina told me. Tobias won't talk about the investigation with me. After one fight, I resigned myself to the fact that he feels like he's protecting me, and he's partially right. Even thinking about the bitch irritates me so I know it's detrimental to my health and Peanut's.

I look at the clock and see that he will be home soon for lunch so I use the bathroom then head downstairs to sit on the couch. I pile the pillows on the end then lounge with my feet on the ottoman. I pick up one of the numerous magazines brought to me this week and flip through it but it quickly loses my interest. I lean my head back and rest my eyes. Doing nothing can be exhausting. Soft lips pressing against mine wake me from my slumber.

"Hello, beautiful," Tobias says. "How are you feeling?"

"Bored," I say and he chuckles softly. I love his laugh.

"I brought us lunch from the cafeteria." He hands me a plate filled with barbeque chicken breast, grilled corn on the cob, summer squash, watermelon, and a slice of fresh strawberry cake with a chocolate drizzle over strawberry frosting. Everything looks spectacular.

"This looks delicious," I say. "Thank you." He sits down in the club chair, and I notice how relaxed he looks.

"Do you have something to tell me?" I ask.

"You're very perceptive, aren't you?" he says with a chuckle. It's nice to see him in such a good mood. It's been a rough week for the both of us.

"Well, first, I talked it over with Uriah and Christina and we're tweaking the schedule a bit. Instead of team elimination paintball tomorrow, everyone is taking the day off and tomorrow night will be capture the flag."

"Why did you do that?" I ask, knowing I'm behind his motives somehow.

"I would like for you to be able to attend both exercises but after a day of resting maybe you'll be able to come with us for capture the flag. I didn't think you'd be up for hours in the park dodging paintballs. Of course, I'm jumping the gun. Zander may not take you off of restrictions."

"I think he will," I say optimistically. "My readings are in the normal range."

"And we want to keep them that way," he says.

"What other news do you have for me?"

"It's about Olivia," he says.

"Oh." I can't help my scowl.

"Tori stopped by the training room to see me. I don't have to go to Candor today." Okay, this piques my interest. "Olivia wouldn't admit she lied but she recanted her earlier statement that I basically blackmailed her for sex and refused to go under truth serum. That's what has taken so long. Tori and Jack had her interview scheduled for the past two days, and she made excuse after excuse as to why she couldn't be there. Tori, Will, and Harrison escorted her off the premises shortly before 10 this morning. We don't have to worry about her anymore, Tris."

"That _is_ wonderful news," I say.

"Then what's wrong?"

"We really do know each other well," I say, stunned that he picked up on my disappointment. "I'm a bit disappointed that there's no truth serum record of your denials." His face subtly changes like I've offended him. "I know you didn't do anything wrong, baby, and I know I shouldn't care about what other people think but I don't want anyone believing you did the horrible things she accused you of."

"Anyone who means anything to me knows the truth and that's all that matters," he says.

"You're absolutely right," I say, smiling warmly at him. "What I'm really disappointed about is we won't get any answers from _her_." He gets out of the chair, picks up our now empty lunch plates, and throws them away. He moves my feet off the ottoman and puts them in his lap. He massages my feet gently and I moan.

"Don't worry about her. She's gone," he says. "Does that feel good?"

"You know it does," I say. "Thank you." I glance at the clock on the wall and see that if he doesn't leave now he's going to be late for the afternoon session in the training room. "You're going to be late."

"I know," he says with a groan.

"I wish I could go with you," I say. "Or better yet, I wish you could stay home with me." He gently sets my feet to the side and gets up.

"Don't tempt me," he says, leaning over me. He gives me a lingering kiss then leans down and kisses my belly. "You never answered how you were doing."

"Peanut and I are both good," I say. "I feel wonderful and she's been practicing her kickboxing moves on me all morning." I grab his hand and put it low on my abdomen where she's kicking away. "She's telling you that you better go because you're going to be late."

"Oh, is she tapping that out in Morse code?" he asks, his eyes sparkling.

"It's nice to see you truly happy, Tobias," I say as I run my hand across his cheek. "It's been a little while."

"I feel relaxed." His mouth lands roughly on mine, surprising me, and I practically devour him. When he breaks away panting he says, "I have to go. You have a good afternoon, love. I love you."

"I love you, too. I'll see you when you get home." Just after Tobias leaves Marlene shows up to check my blood pressure, which is in the normal range again.

"Did Four tell you the news about the bitch?" she asks. It amuses me that my friends call her that, too, and I had nothing to do with it.

"He did," I say. "You have no idea how thankful I am that she's gone. I knew she was trouble almost immediately but I didn't know how much."

"Did you guys ever figure out why she did it?"

"No," I say, "and I honestly don't care." She gives me a skeptical look. "I let her bother me to the point that I jeopardized not only my health but that of my baby's. I'll never do that again. Nothing's worth that, especially not her."

"I agree," she says. "Well, I have to get back to work. Isobel will stop by later. Dr. Parrish wants to see you in the infirmary tomorrow morning. I'll see you later. I'll lock up on my way out."

"Bye, Marlene," I say. "Thank you."

I watch two new romantic comedies that Tobias brought home for me last night to pass the afternoon. The first one is really good and keeps my full attention, making me laugh and cry but I lose interest in the second one and end up falling asleep on the couch. When I pry my eyelids open I find myself staring into the most beautiful blue eyes.

"I sowwy," Tyler says, pouting.

"What are you sorry for, buddy?" I say with a yawn.

"I waked you up," he says. "Daddy say be quiet."

"You didn't wake me up," I say, ruffling his hair. I sit up and look around. "Where's Daddy and Tessa?" He points upstairs. "Come here." He climbs up on my lap, and I give him a big hug. "Did you have fun at daycare today?"

"I played with Zane," he says.

"You like playing with him don't you?" I ask and he nods enthusiastically. "Do you want to spend the night with him tomorrow night?"

"Yeah," he says excitedly.

"Mommy and Daddy have to work tomorrow night," I say. "But we get to spend the entire day together tomorrow. We'll probably have to stay home but we could make some cookies or something or maybe we could have a picnic on the rooftop deck at our new apartment. What do you think?"

"I like cookies," he says.

"So do I," I say.

"Did someone mention cookies?" Tobias asks as he steps into the living room holding Tessa in his arms. She looks on the cranky side.

"Yeah," I say. "I was just asking Tyler if he wants to make some cookies tomorrow or maybe have a picnic on the new apartment's rooftop deck. Is she hungry?"

"Yes, she is," he says. "Tyler, why don't we get supper ready while Mommy feeds your sister?" He gets off my lap then Tobias gently places Tessa in my arms.

"Hi, little one. I've missed you," I say as I nurse her. "What's for supper, fellas?"

"A Canadian bacon and pineapple pizza, Caesar salad, and banana splits for dessert," Tobias says.

"Wow, that sounds wonderful," I say. "Thanks for getting my favorite pizza. That was thoughtful of you."

"It my idea," Tyler says.

"Well thank you then," I say. Just as I'm finishing up with Tessa, supper is ready.

"What great timing," Tobias says. "I'll put her in her swing while we eat then I'll give her back to you." He knows how much I've missed being able to take care of her this week. I kiss her sweet, chubby little cheeks then he takes her out of my arms and puts her in the swing, which he moves in front of the TV. Tyler practically sits in my lap while we eat the delicious meal.

"What do you guys want to do tonight?" I ask after we finish supper? They both kind of shrug their shoulders at me. "Tyler, why don't you pick out a board game we can all play?" He goes to the bookcase and gets Candyland. We don't get a chance to play often but when we do we always have a wonderful time. Two hours pass in a blink of an eye with Tobias and Tyler sitting on the floor in front of me while I lounge on the couch.

"This fun!" Tyler laughs as he wins … _again!_

"It's almost time for bed, buddy," Tobias says. "Let's go upstairs and get you in the tub."

"Otay," he says. "Mommy come?"

"When you get out of the tub you can come say goodnight to me," I say. "Maybe we can cuddle for a little bit while Daddy gets Tessa ready for bed."

"Otay," he says.

"Can you carry Tessa upstairs for me?" I ask when Tobias and Tyler turn to go upstairs. "We'll lie in bed while you guys are in the bathroom."

"Sure," Tobias says. He picks Tessa up from her swing, and we all go upstairs together. I get in bed and he hands me the baby.

"Say bye-bye to Daddy and brother," I say, waving her little hand. I lie her down on the bed beside me and talk to her and play peekaboo, which makes her laugh until she starts yawning. I tickle her arm and face until she slowly closes hers eyes then I watch her sleep. "You are so perfect."

"Did she fall asleep?" Tobias asks as he walks into the room.

"Yeah," I say. He puts Tyler on the bed who carefully crawls over to me and cuddles against my chest. I wrap my arms around him and hum a couple children's songs until he, too, falls asleep.

"I should put them to bed," Tobias says.

"No. Leave them here. Bed rest isn't all bad. I like us all cuddling in bed together. We might have to make this a bedtime tradition."

"I'm not opposed to that," he says. "Did you have a good afternoon?"

"Yeah," I say. "Marlene came over right after you left and Isobel came while I was napping. She took my blood pressure then left. I barely remember her being here. It was normal all three times today. Marlene told me that Zander wants to see me in the infirmary tomorrow morning. Do you think he'll take me off bed rest?"

"I think he might," he says. "You've been doing such a good job."

"Anything for Peanut," I say. "You better get them to bed. I don't know about you but I'm tired." After kissing Tyler goodnight, Tobias carries him to his room and tucks him in. Then he comes back and puts Tessa to bed. I use the bathroom and change into a lacy camisole and a pair of sleep shorts then get into bed.

"How about a massage?" he asks when he comes back into the room.

"That would be really nice." He grabs my jar of lotion off the dresser and comes to the bed. I take my cami off and lie on my side with two pillows under my head and two more under my tummy. Isobel wasn't kidding when she said this position was comfortable.

"Are you ready?" he asks as he warms the lotion with his hands.

"I am," I say. He puts his palms on my lower back and rubs his way up my back with a very light pressure. After he finishes with my shoulders he glides his hands down my sides to my lower back again and repeats the journey but with greater pressure. "Mmm. Feels good." He's really good at this. He dips up more lotion and concentrates on the tight muscles of my lower back, pressing deeply into the flesh.

"How's your back feeling?" he asks, his hands kneading the muscles.

"Really good," I say, my words slurring slightly from fatigue.

"Is it still hurting?" he asks as he finishes the massage.

"Uh-uh."

"Do you want to put your shirt back on?" he asks, his mouth against my ear.

"Uh-uh."

"Are you asleep?" he whispers, sounding amused.

"Mm-hmm."

"Sleep well, love," I hear him say as he wraps himself around me just as I drift off.


	38. Chapter 38

A cool breeze blows my hair across my face as I make my way to the carrousel at the Navy Pier. It's nearly 12:45 a.m., and the only light is coming from the big, beautiful full moon above me. Tonight we're playing capture the flag, a Dauntless tradition, or should I say everyone else gets to play, and I have to settle for sitting on the sidelines, watching.

I went to see Zander first thing this morning after five very long days of bed rest. Will and Christina volunteered to watch Tyler and Tessa for us while Tobias pushed me to the infirmary in a borrowed wheelchair. There was no apprehension during the trip. We laughed and talked the entire journey. I've been feeling great, more than great actually, and my blood pressure proved it. It was the lowest reading since I got pregnant so he took me off all restrictions. The only thing he wanted me to continue doing daily was blood pressure checks but instead of traveling to the infirmary each morning or having someone come to me, he let me borrow a portable machine that goes on my wrist. He explained that it isn't as accurate a reading as having a professional take my blood pressure but it's better than nothing. I have to be honest, I was quite surprised when he didn't have a problem with me coming out tonight. I just had to promise not to overdo it. He actually thought the fresh air and minimal exercise would do me some good. He just wants me to watch my stress level, which should be easy now that the bitch is gone.

I sit down on the deserted carrousel and wait for whichever team decides to jump off the train first. I'm hoping it's Tobias and Zeke's team but I wouldn't mind hanging out with Christina and Uriah for the evening. Tobias, the kids, and I were together all day. After we finished up in the infirmary, we stopped by the commissary and picked up all the ingredients for spaghetti and meatballs with all the fixings, chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter fudge, and Rice Krispies treats. Tyler was happy when we picked him and his sister up and told him we were going to spend the entire day together just the four of us. When I let him pick which dessert to make, he chose all three and since I was having a major craving, we went ahead and spent most of the morning making cookies and candy, which wore him out. After a light lunch of Caesar salad with grilled chicken, Tyler took the longest nap he's ever taken. Tobias actually had to wake him when supper was ready. Gravel crunching beneath someone's feet drags me from my reverie. I turn with a smile on my face, fully expecting to see Tobias or one of my friends but no one's there. My smile quickly fades as my pulse quickens.

"Is someone there?" I call out, my voice loud and clear, somehow not betraying how nervous I suddenly am. I listen carefully but all I hear is the sound of crickets singing. Just as I convince myself that I must have been hearing things, the sound of footsteps begin again but this time it is closer and seems to surround me. I quickly scan the area but still don't see anything in the shadows. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to come out here by myself. I get up from the bench and ball my hands into fists, readying myself for a fight if necessary and start walking toward the car, carefully measuring each step. Not a minute later I hear voices and laughter and know that one of the teams is on its way. I expect my heart to calm but it doesn't.

I try to ignore the unease building in my chest and turn my attention to the approaching Dauntless party. Just like last year, each team is comprised of an equal number of transfers, Dauntless-born, and members bringing the approximate total to 20, including the co-leaders. When I see Tobias and Zeke leading the way, I finally begin to relax. I look at the group behind them and smile. The team looks remarkably similar to last years', narrow shoulders and small frames. He's definitely consistent. He also picked some of the smartest in my opinion. They'll not only be quick on their feet but quicker with their brains. I chuckle to myself when I realize that Christina and Uriah, who both were on our team last year, didn't learn a thing from Tobias. They assembled their team based on brute force.

"Hey, Tris," Tobias says with a relaxed smile as he reaches me. I want to throw myself into his arms, which I know would calm me but that's not appropriate right now.

"Hi," I say. "Nice team." He smirks at me, knowing exactly what I'm referring to as we continue to the carrousel. When we stop, Zeke, Tobias, and I stand on the ride and face the team. Everyone gathers around.

"Listen up! In approximately 10 minutes the other team will be jumping off the train and finding a place to hide their flag," Tobias says. "I suggest you use this time to come up with your strategy. We may not be Erudite but mental readiness is one aspect of your training. In fact, I think it's the most important part." He takes the glowing neon green flag out of his back pocket and hands it to Avery. "Get to it." The initiates all start excitedly talking at once giving their ideas on where to hide the flag and how to find the other teams. I look toward the Ferris wheel remembering last year.

"It's hard to believe that an entire year has passed already," I say, not meaning to say it out loud. He gives me a knowing smile.

"Thinking about climbing the Ferris wheel?" he asks.

"Yeah," I quietly say. "I wonder if anyone will think of it this year."

"Probably not," he says. "You're one of a kind, love. Just in case I never told you, that was genius."

"Not genius," I say, blushing in the pale moonlight. "Can you believe what that started?"

"Oh, it started before that," he says, bumping his shoulder against mine affectionately. He glances toward the initiates who are arguing with each other then gives me a short, soft kiss. "I'm not hiding who we are and what we have anymore. I want the entire world to know you are my wife and that I love you very much. I think we made a mistake by not telling the transfers from the start. Maybe Oliva wouldn't have done what she did."

"Yeah, maybe," I say, not wanting to talk about the bitch. This is supposed to be a fun night, one full of Dauntless comradery and teamwork, and I already feel uneasy because of what happened earlier. I don't need to be reminded of her. Tobias looks down at me with his brows furrowed.

"What's wrong?" he asks. _How does he do that?_ Do I tell him the truth now or wait?

"Right before you got here I think someone was watching me," I say. "I heard footsteps and thought it was you guys but no one was around. I dismissed it until I heard it again. It startled me." He immediately transforms into Four and looks around us.

"Why didn't you say something earlier?" he says.

"The minute I saw you, I calmed down," I say. "I didn't think it was a big deal. It was probably an animal."

"We just made Olivia factionless, Tris," he says. "She could be looking for revenge. I knew I shouldn't have let you come out here by yourself. That was stupid of me. You're not leaving my side the rest of the evening."

"How?" I say. "Zander said I can't play, I can only observe and give advice."

"Then that's what I'll do too," he says. "I'm not taking my eyes off you." Part of me is glad he'll be with me all night but the larger part of me knows that he shouldn't be shirking his responsibilities because of me … again.

"Can I talk?" I hear Faith loudly say, exasperated. Everyone, including Tobias and I stops talking and looks at her. "My old friends and I used to play a version of capture the flag when we were growing up minus the paint guns of course. Brody and I were pretty good at it. If the other team is listening to him, I know what their strategy will be."

"Tell us what you think we should do," Tobias says.

"We split our team in two. Half will guard the flag but we leave only one or two people visible, sort of like bait, and the rest will be hidden so they can ambush anyone who approaches. The other half will split into pairs and search for the other team's flag. Whoever finds it signals the other players and then everyone will converge on the area. While one person retrieves the flag, the rest of the team takes out the guards."

"That sounds like a great plan," Avery says. "I just have one question though. If your friend gives the same advice won't they be waiting for us in an ambush?"

"It's possible," she says. "It was just a thought."

"It's a good idea, and I think we should do it," says Murphy. "Faith, I think you should be in charge of offense, and I nominate Avery to be in charge of defense. You both had the best ideas."

"Tris and I will stay with the flag as the bait," Tobias says, handing me a paintball gun. This makes me feel like I'm actually participating, which makes me a little giddy.

"Alright," Faith says. "Avery, don't forget to keep a count of how many players you take out."

"Okay, let's divide up the players." They huddle together talking about who they think will be strongest in what positions. Avery chooses the shooters with the greatest accuracy while Faith chooses the ones she thinks are fastest.

"Anyone have an idea where to look first?" Faith asks, looking our direction. We both shake our heads.

"I heard that last year one team hid their flag here and the other one was in the park at the end of the Pier," Neva, a pretty, petite Dauntless-born initiate, says.

"Maybe we should find a different place to hide the flag instead of the carrousel," Avery says. "But we should still leave Four and Tris here as decoys." _Great thinking, Avery!_

"That's a great idea," Faith says. These two work very well together. They both have bright futures in Dauntless. After a quick look around the area they find a great place to hide the flag. Amity workers planted a lot of trees, shrubs, and flowers outside the Crystal Gardens building and also around the Ferris wheel, wedding arbor, and outdoor reception site in an effort to spruce up the area for weddings. They hide the flag in the low shrubbery behind two large boulders next to the building. All you can see of it is its faint glow reflecting off the glass of the building.

"Offense, make sure any phones are on vibrate," Faith calls out. "We don't want a phone call alerting the enemy to our position. Whoever finds the flag needs to text your position to the rest of us. When we meet, the person who found the flag will sneak in to get it while the rest of us ambush their guards. Any questions?" No one says anything. "Good, let's go." They all take off running, making sure that they stick to the softer grass so they don't make any noise.

"Defense, gather round," Avery says. "Four and Tris will be our decoys at the carrousel. Callen will be hidden in the bushes by the flag and the rest of us need to take cover on both sides of the Crystal Gardens, three to the south and two to the north. Watch the stairs closely. Four and Tris, you might want to keep an eye out to the west, just in case anyone slips by us and sneaks up from stairs further down the Pier. Any questions?" Everyone shakes their heads. "Find a place to hide but be aware of your surroundings. Four, will you keep track of how many players we've eliminated and text Zeke?"

"I sure will, Avery," he says.

"Everyone make sure your phones are on vibrate," she says. I watch as the rest of the team head off to flank both sides of the Crystal Gardens. One minute I'm looking at eight other people and the next, they blend into the shadows. Tobias and I sit facing each other on a carrousel bench. I look off over his shoulder to the east, and he looks over mine to the west.

"If we win, Faith and Avery deserve equal credit," I quietly say. "I think they worked well together to formulate a plan. I have to say it, I'm impressed."

"Me, too," he says. "The only thing that would have made their plan better was if someone had thought to climb the Ferris wheel to see exactly where the other team hid their flag. I could be biased but that was brilliant. No one had thought of it before and I have a feeling that no one will think to do it again."

"It seemed like a smart thing to do," I say with a smile. The crunch of gravel beneath someone's feet captures both our attention, and we ready our guns. I scan the area behind Tobias while he's scanning the area behind me. "Do you see anyone?" This time I whisper, trying not to draw any unnecessary attention to us. He shakes his head. Suddenly a person dressed head to toe in black charges at us from the shadows behind Tobias, gun held high. I take aim and hit him mid-chest and he groans.

"Damn it!" Will says.

"Come sit on the ground, Will," I say.

"Nice shot, Tris," he says.

"Why thank you," I say. Even if we lose, I don't think this smile is going away any time soon. We pass the next half hour picking off people one at a time until we have eight prisoners with various colored paint splatters on different parts of their bodies. Uriah and Christina knew exactly where we would be but what no one took into account was the fact that we could hear the approaching players because of the gravel. Faith figured it out though and made sure our players ran on the grass. I'm seeing a totally different side of her tonight. She's friendly, outgoing, take charge. Until now, she's been reserved and a bit backward when it came to the other transfers. The only one she would really talk with was Brody. I hope she continues to come out of her shell.

"Zeke just texted, we got your flag," Tobias announces to the eight people, including Will and Christina who are sitting on the ground by the carrousel.

"Oh, man!" Christina says. "I thought for sure we would win, knowing where you were heading when you jumped off the train. Where is your flag anyway?"

Callen comes out from his hiding place knowing the game is over holding up the glowing triangle and says, "It's right here." The remaining defensive players converge on us and can't hide their jubilation at winning. I remember that feeling from last year, and it's just as sweet tonight. Tobias drags his phone out and reads a message from Zeke.

"Everyone, let's get to the train," he says. We let the initiates and other members walk ahead of us and we hang back with Will and Christina.

"Who formulated your strategy? Faith?" she asks. Will has his arm casually draped over her shoulders and she's reaching up holding his hand while Tobias and I walk beside them hand-in-hand.

"Yes," Tobias says. "Did Brody give you the same idea?"

"Yeah," she says. "How were you able to keep picking us off?"

"We could hear you," Tobias says.

"What?" Will says.

"The gravel," I say. "We could hear when you were approaching."

"That sucks," she says. "Oh, well! It was fun anyway." When we reach the train tracks, the other half of the players are already there and our team is loudly celebrating.

"Guys, quiet down," Tobias says but he has a huge smile on his face. "I want to thank everyone for a great game tonight. This is what Dauntless is about, teamwork. Now, you all don't have to be in the training room until 10 a.m. Use your time wisely. See you in the morning." As usual his timing is perfect. Just as he finishes his speech, the train comes around the bend. When everyone starts running, a pang of jealousy hits me. I miss the exhilaration and slight terror of jumping on and off the train. I doubt I'll remember how to do it once I'm able. After saying goodbye to Will, Christina, Zeke, and Shauna who all opted to ride the train home, Tobias and I walk back to the car so we can drive home.

"I miss riding the train," I pout.

"I know," he says. I look up at him and frown. "You were watching everyone closely while they were boarding with a sad look on your face."

"Everyone did so well tonight, especially Faith and Avery," I say, changing the subject. Missing the train rides makes me feel guilty, although I'm not entirely sure why. "I saw a whole other side to Faith. She's always done everything well but she seemed like an outcast and tonight she looked and acted like she belonged."

"I think she gets overshadowed by Brody," he says. "I'm thinking of talking to them both and giving them some advice that Amar gave me when I first joined Dauntless."

"What's that?" I ask.

"He told me that joining a faction is about more than getting through initiation," he says as we reach the car. "He went on to say that initiation is when lifelong friendships are forged, enemies are made, and girlfriends or boyfriends are found." He holds my door open, and I thank him as I get in the car. I think about what Amar told him, and he was absolutely right. I met Tobias, Christina, and Peter during my initiation.

"He was right, although you had to wait two years to find your girlfriend," I say. "Was it a long wait?"

"An eternity," he says picking up our joined hands and bringing them to his lips. "It didn't feel like that at the time though. I didn't know what I was missing but looking back … yeah, it was an eternity."

"I love you," I say. "I had fun tonight. I'm glad I was able to come."

"I love you, too," he says. "I'm glad you were up to coming out tonight, too. I had fun sitting on the carrousel shooting people with you." I start laughing and he joins me until we can no longer breathe. "That did sound like we're psychotic serial killers, didn't it?" I nod, still chuckling.

"A bit," I say. We continue chatting and laughing until we pull into the underground garage then we take the deserted path home. The moment we walk into the apartment, Tobias grabs me and pulls me into his arms and kisses me eagerly, taking me by complete surprise but it doesn't take me long to catch up to his mood. It's obvious what he's thinking about with his erection pressing into my stomach. He went from relaxed to aroused in two seconds flat.

"Baby, slow down," I pant against his lips as he's taking my jacket off. He doesn't say anything, he just rips his jacket off, too, and drops it to the floor with mine.

"Zander said all restrictions were lifted," he says, lust thick in his gravelly voice. "I thought about taking you right then."

"You know what I really want?" I say, running my fingertips down his hard chest.

"I can guess, love," he says pulling me closer to him still.

"I really want … a sandwich. I'm starving, baby," I say. "Or maybe I should say Peanut is starving. Either way I really need my husband to feed me." I place a chaste kiss on his stunned, parted lips and give him a sweet little smile.

"You tease," he says with a big grin.

"I'm not a tease," I pout. "I believe you were the one who just attacked me."

"Guilty," he say, taking me by the hand. He leads me into the kitchen and lifts me up on the island. Before he turns I pull him back to me.

"You're not upset with me are you?" I ask, pulling him to me, wrapping my arms around his neck, and kissing is cheek.

"I'm going to be if you don't quit that," he says with a grin on his face but I can see that he means it so I let him go with a pout. He gets all the ingredients out of the fridge for ham and Swiss cheese sandwiches and sits them down beside me. As I watch him assemble the sandwiches, I begin to regret putting a stop to his amorous pursuit. "What are you thinking about?"

"Whether I like you better in the kitchen or the bedroom," I spit out automatically then blush.

"Have you come up with an answer yet?" he asks with a chuckle as he hands me a plate with a sandwich and some potato salad on it.

"I don't know," I say. "You know how I feel about you cooking." He helps me down then gives me a quick kiss. We sit side-by-side at the island eating our middle of the night snack. I moan appreciatively as I take a bite of the delicious late-night snack. "This is so good. I should let you do all the cooking. You're so good at it."

"That's a heck of a compliment coming from someone who's a wonderful cook in her own right," he says.

"You're sweet," I say.

"Don't say that in front of people. You'll ruin my reputation."

"I'll be sure to make an announcement first thing tomorrow morning over the PA system," I say, straight faced. I look at him out of the corner of my eye, and he's staring at me with a smirk on his face. "What's that look for?"

"You're very trying tonight, Mrs. Eaton," he says.

"Trying, Mr. Eaton?" I tease. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"How about I carry you upstairs and tease you for an hour or two?"

"An hour or two?" I choke, my mouth going dry. "Are you really _up_ for that?"

"Oh, you have no idea how _up_ I am," he says, his eyes twinkling. He grabs me up in his arms, taking my breath away and heads toward the steps, forgetting about the mess in the kitchen. I barely have time to drag in an unsteady breath when his lips land on mine aggressively, his kiss demanding, eager. He plunges his tongue into my open mouth after he bites down on my bottom lip and claims my mouth with his. Damn, I want him, probably more than I ever have. He sits me on my feet in the center of our bedroom, and we quickly remove each other's clothes. Our mouths collide as we fall together onto the bed, and I surrender to his touch.


	39. Chapter 39

I slowly roll over in bed with a groan and reach out for Tobias but his side of the bed is disappointingly cold, meaning he's been up for a while. I raise my head and look at the alarm clock and see that we don't have to be in the training room with the initiates for a little over two hours. _Where are you, Tobias?_ I slide out of bed and slip into my new soft pink floor length robe and go in search of my husband. As I reach the top of the stairs, something delicious wafts up from the kitchen and hits me in the face. I make my way downstairs and find Tobias, who is looking scrumptious in only a pair of black satin sleep pants, at the stove assembling a breakfast casserole. I walk up behind him and wrap my arms around him and kiss his Abnegation tattoo.

"Good morning, love," he says. He turns in my arms and gives me a soft kiss. "You should still be in bed."

"I'll go back to bed if you come with me," I say, giving him a come-hither look.

"Hhm, that's a wonderful offer but breakfast is nearly ready to go into the oven," he says then turns back toward the stove.

"I'm only hungry for one thing, baby," I say between kisses on his back. As I run the very tip of my tongue over his extensive tattoo, I slowly move my hand from his taut abs into his pajama bottoms and grip his already lengthening manhood and gently glide my fist up and down. He growls and abruptly turns in my arms, picks me up, and deposits me on the island. He moves his mouth to mine, and we grope each other aggressively.

"Mmm," I moan when he slips his hands inside my robe. I didn't even feel him undo the sash. He glides his hands up over my heated skin and cups my heaving breasts as I grasp his head, and we let our tongues tangle.

"Oh, Tris," he says against my mouth. "You win. I'm taking you back to bed." He takes me by the hand after he lowers me to my feet and leads me up to our bedroom. He unhurriedly runs his hands up to my shoulders and pushes the robe off my shoulders then I slowly lower his sleep pants so he can step out of them. I lie down on our bed, sliding close to the center, and he crawls up my body until he's hovering over me. I run my hands up and down his back and pull him toward me.

"Kiss me, Tobias." He lowers his mouth to mine and kisses me thoroughly. I moan when I feel every hard inch of his sculpted body against mine but none of his weight. If only I could have him inside me like this. I sigh. I know he can't hold this position forever from the strain in his arms, shoulders, and back I feel under my fingertips so I kiss him feverishly then push on his chest until he rolls us until I'm on top. I quickly sit up, straddling his hips and smile down at him.

"You're gorgeous," he says as he caresses my outer thighs. "Will you do something for me?" I nod, wondering what he has in mind. "I want you to stay where you are but I'd like you to go up on your knees." I furrow my brows at him but do what he asks. He grins at me as he slowly slides his way down on the mattress until I feel his tongue dancing lightly over my nubbin.

"Oh, holy hell," I say as a bolt of electricity moves through my body from where his tongue is lapping gently, straight out the top of my head. "Tobias, oh my God." I bite my tongue in an effort to keep quiet. Soon my hips are writhing against his mouth as his talented tongue alternates between thrusting inside me, circling the hard bundle of nerves with the slightest of pressure, and lapping up my juices like he's licking an ice cream come. Much too soon, a lightning bolt of fulfillment rockets through my body leaving me a quivering, shuddering mess. As soon as he moves, I crumple onto the bed, my legs unable to hold me anymore. A salty metallic taste in my mouth alarms me so I move my trembling hand up to my tongue, and I realize I drew blood to keep from screaming out.

"Are you okay?" Tobias asks, concerned when he sees the small amount of blood.

"Yeah," I say. "I bit my tongue." He leans over me and kisses the tip of my throbbing tongue.

"I'm sorry, love," he says. He kisses me again, and I arch my body towards his, realizing that I still want more … much more.

"How is it that I can't get enough of you?" I pant as I caress his face, completely seriously. "You're like a drug to me, Tobias, and I'm addicted. God, I'd hate to go through withdrawals."

"Lucky for you, you'll never have to experience that because I'll give you your fix whenever you need it." I kiss him again then get up on my hands and knees before him.

"I want you inside me _now_ but I'll let you choose where, baby," I say. He groans as he stares longingly at my mouth. I intentionally lick my bottom lip, and he closes his eyes and shakes his head.

"Turn around, love," he says as he gets up on his knees. I turn so that I'm facing away, and he immediately enters me fully in one driving thrust, making me gasp at the sudden fullness. He starts moving hard against my body, getting lost in his pleasure.

"Oh, God," I cry out as he increases the pounding rhythm further. He slips his hand around and starts circling my nubbin with his fingers but I don't need any help with my rapidly approaching release. Every thrust of his steel-like shaft is bringing me closer to a new unexplored level of ecstasy. My walls quiver around his manhood in a blinding explosion of soul-shattering intensity right as he comes loudly, my name shouting from his lips. He pulls out of me almost immediately and collapses beside me on the bed. I wrap myself around his sweaty body, not caring about the stickiness.

"You are unbelievable," he says, his chest still heaving. "We keep getting better and better."

"You're right about that," I say. I caress his face as I stare into his eyes until my stomach growls, and we both bust out laughing. "I guess that's my fault. I interrupted breakfast."

"You take a shower, and I'll finish the casserole." I kiss his cheek sweetly then unwrap myself from his body, and we both roll out of bed. We part at the bathroom door with a swift kiss, and I get into the shower. When I'm nearly done, Tobias steps into the stall. He washes my back then I wash his and get out. There's no need to tempt ourselves further or we might not make it to the training room on time. I dress in a comfortable pair of maternity yoga pants with a dark red waistband and pair it with a basic black maternity tank top and combat boots. I look at myself in the mirror and sigh.

"You're beautiful, Tris," Tobias says from the doorway. He's leaning up against the jamb with a towel slung low around hips.

"You don't think I look fat?" I ask, knowing I'm playing with fire. If he were to say yes I'd probably ask for a divorce.

"Love, there isn't an ounce of fat on your body," he says. He walks up behind me and puts both his hands on my growing tummy and kisses my neck. "I think your body is amazing. I think I just demonstrated how much not one hour ago. If we had time, I'd make you scream again. I swear we'd never get anything done today." His words make me smile. I cover his hands with mine and lean against his chest.

"I'll check on the casserole while you get ready," I say. I turn in his arms and gaze up into his handsome face. "Thank you for taking such good care of me." I give him a soft, loving kiss. "Thank you for loving me."

"You don't have to thank me for loving you," he says. "It's what I do. It's what I'll always do, love." I believe we've had this conversation before. I smile at him and draw his mouth to mine for a slow, lingering kiss.

"I love you, Tobias," I breathlessly say. "I'll be downstairs." The timer for the casserole goes off just as I reach the kitchen. I take it out of the oven trying to pinpoint exactly what he made by the aroma but the scent is foreign to me. It's obvious he's never made this recipe before. I pour us each a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice and put four slices of potato bread in the toaster. He comes into the kitchen just as the toast pops up. "You go ahead and sit down." I slide our plates to our seats then sit down beside him.

"What's in this?" I ask after I take the first bite. "This is … _wow!_ " I moan as I take another bite.

"Eggs, of course; smoked ham; green, red, and orange bell peppers; green onion tops; frozen hash browned potatoes; sharp, mild, and white cheddar; Monterrey Jack; and southwest seasoning, salt, and pepper."

"So basically everything but the kitchen sink," I tease, licking some melted cheese off the corner of my bottom lip. "You've outdone yourself this morning. This is absolutely delicious. I might have to stay home and sleep off the food coma though."

"Thank you for the compliment," he says.

"You're spoiling me, doing all the cooking this week," I say. "A girl could get used to this, you know."

"You want me to cook, I'll cook," he says.

"I might let you," I say, leaning over and giving him a tender kiss. We finish up breakfast, talking about this and that. Gunner calls when we're nearly finished and tells me that Tyler's bedroom furniture is right on schedule. He is planning on delivering and installing it next Friday then starting on the murals, including the decorative painting on Tyler's furniture and walls. Tobias and I are getting more and more excited by the day for our new home to be ready.

"Do you want any more?" he asks.

"No, I'm stuffed," I say. "You're going to have to carry me to the training room."

"Okay," he says.

"Just kidding," I say with a chuckle. "Hey, did you call Stella and check on the kids?"

"I called her just after I got up," he says as we're cleaning up the kitchen. "She told me they both had a good night. Tessa slept six full hours." That's my super baby! "Stella had to wake her up to give her a bottle. I was disappointed when I didn't get to talk to Tyler, though. She had already dropped them off at daycare."

"Maybe we can stop by daycare and have lunch with them," I say. "I miss them."

"So do I," he says.

After breakfast, Tobias and I walk to the infirmary for my regular Monday morning blood pressure check. Thankfully, it's still normal so Zander has no problem letting me go to work for the first time in a week. He did remind me to keep a close eye on my stress level though, which I promise to do.

When we reach the training room, we ready the weapons for the misfits. Since they have all mastered the hand gun, this week they will learn to shoot a long gun. I'm anxious to see how each of them handle it, especially Zoey. I remember having trouble at first with both guns but especially the tactical shotgun, and her training progress is right in line with mine.

"You're back," Christina excitedly says as she and Uriah walk into the room.

"Yeah. I'm feeling great, and the baby is good," I say, giving her a quick hug. "She's kicking up a storm right now." My hands automatically go to my stomach when I talk about Peanut.

"I remember that feeling," she says wistfully. "I love that Liam is here, and I wouldn't want to go back but sometimes I miss being pregnant. It's strange."

"I'm getting to the point where I just want it to be over with," I say. She smiles at me knowingly.

"I remember feeling that way, too," she says.

"I'm as big as a barn," I moan. Her eyes glide over my body, and she shakes her head at me.

"You're not very big at all, Tris," she tells me, trying to make me feel better I imagine. "You can't even tell you're pregnant from the back. Hell, I spread out everywhere. I kind of hate you." My mouth falls open. "I don't really hate you, sheesh." She rolls her eyes at me.

"Guys, I'm going to address the initiates about Olivia before we split up," Tobias tells us out of the blue a little before 10 a.m. I look around, and while I was talking to Christina, all the initiates came in. "Listen up, I have something to say." The initiates gather round us and look expectantly at Tobias. "I'm going to address a rumor going around. As you know, Olivia was escorted out of Dauntless yesterday morning. She was made factionless for one reason and one reason only: She wasn't the kind of person we want in Dauntless. She was deceptive, lax, insolent. The last straw was when she messed with my personal life. That is something I, not only as the leader of this faction but as a husband and father, _will not_ tolerate. Olivia and I _never_ had a personal relationship despite what she might have told some of you.

"There's something else. I know someone was assisting her. She couldn't have taken those photos herself. We have reason to believe that someone is in this room right now." He paces in front of them like a wild animal, eyeing each one speculatively like he's stalking his prey. "I'm going to make that person a deal that expires at lights out _tonight_. If you come to me and admit your roll, you can stay and live your life in a faction. If I have to figure it out on my own … and believe me, I _will_ figure it out … your ass is out with Olivia.

"Lastly, transfers, Tris and I made a mistake when you arrived. Although we didn't make a conscious decision to hide our marriage, we decided that it was best to portray a professional relationship at all times in your presence. Obviously, that wasn't the right decision, and we know it now. If we would have told you the first day that we are married, have two kids, and obviously have another on the way, maybe Olivia would be standing amongst you right now.

"I don't relish making people factionless but know this, if you show that you are not Dauntless material under _any_ circumstance, we _will_ show you the door. I've wasted enough of your time this morning. Transfers, stay here with Tris and me. Dauntless-borns, you're with Uriah and Christina."

After the Dauntless-born follow after our friends, Tobias continues. "Today, you are going to learn how to fire a tactical shotgun." He walks over to the table he set up with a loaded weapon for each initiate and box after box of ammunition. He picks up a gun, walks to the middle target, and demonstrates the correct way to hold it then shows everyone the proper stance in correlation to the target. "Pull the butt of the gun firmly into your shoulder. Failing to do so will make the kick more painful when you shoot. Keeping it tight allows your body to absorb the shock as opposed to the butt bouncing off your shoulder causing a bruise." He fires a few times, instructing the initiates the entire time then sets them loose.

"I'll be right back," I say after a few minutes, needing to use the restroom. Peanuts taken cover behind my bladder again today, reminding me of the first day of training.

"How's Peanut doing?" he asks when I return.

"She's still," I say. I can hear the worry in my voice so I know he can, too.

"She's fine," he says. "Don't worry, love. You told me she doesn't like the gunfire."

"I know," I say. "So how do you think they're doing?"

"I think they're all going to have bruised shoulders tomorrow, especially Ana and Zoey," he says, shaking his head. "You bruised your shoulder, didn't you?"

"How did you guess?" I say. "The first time I fired a handgun, the recoil almost made me hit myself in the nose."

"I saw that," he says.

"You did?" This surprises me.

"I told you that I watched you," he says, unapologetically. "I tried not to. I didn't want Eric to notice and then take an interest in you, too, but it felt like I always had an eye on you."

"How did I not notice that?" I muse out loud.

"I tried not to be blatantly obvious," he says with a smile. "At first I didn't recognize why I was doing it. It took me a while to admit that I liked you."

"That much we have in common," I say. Peanut stretches and gives me a swift kick in the kidney and I grimace. " _Damn!_ She just kicked, _hard_." I rub my belly. "It took me a while to figure out why I was jealous of every girl who talked to or about you or looked at you."

"You've never had anything to be jealous of," he says. He glances over his shoulder at the clock.

"I know," I say sweetly.

"Hey!" he yells. The initiates somehow hear him over the loud gunfire and look our way. "It's nearly lunchtime. Secure your weapons and you can go. Be back here at 1:30 for your next scored practice fight." They hurriedly put the guns away and head toward the cafeteria. "Shall we go see the kids?"

"Yeah," I say. We go directly to the daycare center. Tobias gets Tyler while I search for Tessa in the baby room. I peek my head through the door and find Mrs. Wheeler changing her diaper.

"Well hello, Tris," she says. "Look who's here, Tessa."

"Hi, Mrs. Wheeler," I say. When she hears my voice, Tessa turns her head and grins at me. "Hi, little one. Has she had a bottle yet?"

"No, I was just getting ready to give it to her."

"I'll feed her," I say, taking her. She's smiling as she whines. "I promise I'll feed you pretty soon, Tessa." I look from my daughter to the teacher. "We're taking the kids for the hour."

"Okay," Mrs. Wheeler says. I get a lightweight blanket out of her diaper bag and go in search of Tobias and Tyler.

"There's my girls," Tobias says.

"Hi, Mommy," Tyler says, eyes shining. "I miss you."

"I missed you, too, buddy," I say. "Did you have fun with Zane?"

"Yeah. We play at pawk and had ice cweam. It weally good." He tells me everything they did on the way to the cafeteria. He's already had his lunch so he wants to sit with Uriah and eat cake, which is his second favorite thing behind the park. Everyone greets Tyler loudly, and he beams at the attention. While Tobias gets us something to eat, I throw the blanket over Tessa's head so I can nurse her.

"How did the transfers do with the long guns?" Uriah asks.

"They'll all have bruises," I reply.

"Ugh. I remember my bruise," he says involuntarily rubbing his right shoulder. "I think the bone is still bruised."

"You're a wuss, Uri," Zeke scoffs. "I listened to my instructor, and _I_ didn't get bruised."

"La-di-da!" Shauna says, rolling her eyes at him. "Stop bragging. I remember what happened the first time you zip lined." All the color drains from his face, and his mouth falls open.

"You promised you would never mention that again," he says, almost glaring at her. Kirsten, Ella, Ciara, James, Trevor, and Stefan are all laughing their heads off. I look at Tobias but he looks just as confused and clueless as the rest of the table does. Obviously, whatever happened, Zeke didn't disclose.

"Alright, you can't leave us out," Christina says. "Spill, Zeke." He tightly closes his mouth and stubbornly shakes his head.

"He peed himself," Shauna says, laughing hysterically. _Oh, my God!_

"Thanks a lot," he mutters as everyone laughs. He sits pouting until Tyler offers him a bite of his cake. The laughter dies at the sweet gesture. He takes the bite then hugs my son. _How did he get to be so thoughtful?_ "Thanks, Tyler. That was nice of you."

"Welcome," he cheerfully says then goes back to eating his slice of cake.

"I'm sorry," Shauna says, putting her arm around him. "I shouldn't have done that."

"I'm surprised I kept it a secret for as long as I did," he says. "It never made it around Dauntless. I thought I was safe."

"If it makes you feel better, I puked," Trevor says. "It was disgusting."

"Yeah, it was," Stefan says. "I was one of the people who caught him. He was a mess."

"I guess you did pretty well only sounding like a dying cat then huh, Uri," Marlene says.

"We won't say anything, Zeke," James says.

"How did we get off on this subject?" Will asks. He and Christina share a begrudging look. They can't still be mad that they weren't invited last year … can they?

"I think we were talking about how much of a wuss my brother is," Zeke says, ruffling his hand in Uriah's hair then they start shoving each other.

"Maybe you two should cut it out," Tobias says, sounding more like Four. "You have little eyes watching you." I glance at Tyler, and he's staring up at his honorary uncles, totally fascinated.

"Sorry, Four," they say at the same time. Over half the table leaves a few minutes later, needing to get back to work. Tessa finishes early, and I put her up to my shoulder and pat her back. A couple minutes later she lets out a very loud burp.

"That's my girl," Tobias says with a chuckle. "She could win a burping contest with any grown man here in Dauntless." He actually sounds proud.

"Men!" I mutter under my breath. "We better get these two back to daycare so we aren't late to the training room."

"Come on, Tyler," Tobias says. He hugs Uriah and Zeke then runs around the table and literally leaps into his father's outstretched arms. "We'll see you guys later."

"Was the cake good?" I ask Tyler on our walk to daycare. I think he has just as much on his face as he must have gotten in his mouth.

"Yeah," he says with a yawn. I wonder how he can be tired when he's so full of sugar. He lies his head on Tobias' shoulder and quickly falls asleep. Tessa holds her head up, looking all around on our quick trip. She smiles at everyone she passes and even coos at a few who talk to her. She's a popular girl.

"We really need to start looking for a nanny," I say on our way back to the training room after we drop off the kids. "I think it would make things a little easier."

"Did you ever talk to Christina and get her suggestions?" he asks.

"We talked a little about it last week while you and Will were making supper," I say. "She said it's a lengthy process, picking the right person. It's something we probably shouldn't do until after initiation is over."

"Okay," he says. When we get to the training room, we go to the opposite end we spent the morning in. He erases the Dauntless-born pairings and writes ours on the board.

Kevin – Alec

Sam– Faith

Bethany – Zoey

Ana – Sadie

Jesse – Murphy

Brody – Grant

Hhm. Brody and Grant. That's the bout I've been wanting to see since the first day of training. I would bet money that Brody will win. However, Grant has improved more than him, probably because Brody's skill level far exceeds everyone else's.

"That's some pretty impressive pairings," I say as I sit down in the folding metal chair. I think standing is more comfortable. "Everyone seems evenly matched, except for Bethany and Zoey."

"I can't have Ana and Zoey fight each other every time," he says. "It wouldn't give them the opportunity to learn and grow."

"I wasn't complaining, just simply making an observation."

"I know," he says. The transfers trickle into the training room one or two at a time with a couple minutes to spare. They gather around the board checking out the pairings then start sizing each other up. "Kevin and Alec, in the ring." This should be an interesting fight. They both have something to prove since neither have won a match. They step into the ring and immediately go after each other aggressively. Either could easily win. After 20 minutes, neither shows any sign of slowing down or conceding then Alec hits Kevin in the jaw and lays him out on the mat. A smile that probably won't leave anytime soon lights his face.

"Grant, Brody, please take Kevin to the infirmary and come straight back," I say. Tobias circles Alec's name on the board as they drag Kevin to his feet.

"Sam, Faith," Tobias announces. They meet on the mat, each taking a defensive stance. They circle each other a couple times before Faith strikes. Sam takes quite a beating before landing a powerful punch that knocks Faith unconscious. She lands like a felled tree, her head bouncing a couple times on the edge of the mat. "Alec and Jesse, will you take her to the infirmary?" Jesse kneels down beside her and pats her cheek a couple times but she's out cold. When Alec reaches the mat, they carefully pick Faith up and carry her through the door. That outcome really surprised me. I thought Faith would easily win.

"Bethany and Zoey, you're next," I say. I get out of the uncomfortable chair, circle Sam's name, and pace a little. Within five minutes, I circle Bethany's name. "Ana and Sadie, in the ring." This fight lasts a little longer than the last one but not much. Sadie dominates the match and after a dizzying punch, Ana concedes.

"Jesse and Murphy," Tobias says, circling Sadie's name. He saddles up next to me, and I look up at him. "Maybe you should sit back down."

"I would but that chair is horrible," I say. "It made my back hurt worse."

"Why didn't you say something?" he asks.

"I didn't want to complain plus what could you do about it?"

"Get you a comfortable chair," he says. "We'll stop by the furniture store after we pick up the kids and have it delivered tomorrow morning."

"You don't have to do that," I say.

"I want to," he says. He takes a step closer, puts a hand on my lower back right where it's hurting, and rubs it gently while we watch the closely matched bout in front of us. I don't know if it's a good thing or not but Jesse is treating Murphy like she's just another initiate and not a girl. They're going hard at each other. So far this is the best bout of the day. Twenty minutes later, Murphy lands a strong one-two punch that sends Jesse to the floor, and he throws his hands up in defeat. A look of great accomplishment settles on Murphy's face as Tobias circles her name.

"Brody and Grant, you are our final fight of the day," I say. If this is quick, it will be another early dismissal, which I'm not opposed to. I sit back down on the uncomfortable chair and watch our two best fighters circle each other a couple times, sizing each other up before engaging. I was right. This could go either way. I've been watching the match for more than 10 minutes when my phone rings. I pull it out of my pocket, look at the caller ID, and am surprised to see it's the infirmary.

"Hello," I say.

"This is Zander." He sounds funny.

"Hi," I slowly say. "Is there something wrong?"

"Tris, I really don't know how to say this but," there's a long pause, "Faith just died," he quietly says, astounding me and I gasp.


	40. Chapter 40

I grab ahold of Tobias' arm to steady myself physically and emotionally. I can't believe I'm hearing what I think I'm hearing. Faith is _dead_. Sam killed her? No, that's impossible. She is … _was_ our strongest female fighter, the best female transfer. Hell, she beat Alec and gave Brody a run for his money so categorizing her as just another female is completely unfair. I look up into Tobias' eyes, realizing that I have to say the words I don't want to, and his expression goes from concerned to horrified in a split second. I don't know what my face is betraying but it must be bad.

"Tris, are you still there?" Zander asks after he rendered me speechless.

"Yeah," I choke out.

"I'm getting ready to do an autopsy to determine exactly what the cause of death is. Is there anything you can share with me about her fight?"

"Sam hit her in the jaw and knocked her out. When she fell, she hit her head on the edge of the mat," I say.

"Was it a hard blow?"

"It didn't seem like it was," I say. "It seemed more like a lucky punch."

"When she fell, did her head hit the wooden floor?"

"The way it looked to me, it hit on the very edge of the mat but it's possible," I say.

"Okay," he says. "Thanks, Tris."

"Thanks for calling, Zander." I turn my phone off and look at Brody who's still sparring with Grant. This is going to be very hard on him. Hell it's going to be hard on everyone.

"What is it, love?" Tobias asks, full-fledge panic setting in.

"Faith," I whisper, trying not to alarm the initiates. "She died."

"What?" he says much too loudly, stunned by the news. Everyone stops what they're doing and looks at us. It's obvious by the looks on our faces that something's wrong.

"Zander doesn't know why but she never regained consciousness and died a few minutes ago," I say. "He's getting ready to do an autopsy." I turn my back to block out the stares of the misfits, especially Brody's. "I don't know what to do, Tobias. How are we supposed to tell them?" He transforms into Four, eliminating all visible emotion and steadies himself for what he needs to do.

"Transfers, gather round," he says, his voice deceptively calm and cold. The ones who are still in the training room gather around us. "We just got some information from the infirmary, and I'm afraid that I have some bad news. We don't have any details but Dr. Parrish just called and informed us that Faith died." Confusion dominates the expressions on the transfers' faces, and they all look toward Brody who starts slowly shaking his head.

"This is some sort of sick joke, right?" he says. Grant puts his hand on his shoulder in a show of support but he shakes it off. "This _has_ to be a joke. She can't be gone. She just _can't._ She's all I have left in this godforsaken world." He runs both his hands through his hair and falls to his knees, an anguished look contorting his face. "No, not my sister." _Sister?_ A hushed gasp sounds in the room. I didn't know they were related. I look at Tobias to see if this is news to him but he's staring at the transfers with his Four mask firmly in place, and I can't get a read on him.

"You can all go for the evening," Tobias says. "We'll have additional details first thing in the morning. Sam, Brody, please give us a minute."

"I killed her?" she whispers. I can tell she is desperately trying to hold back tears. "Oh, my God! What have I done?"

"Sam, you didn't do anything wrong," I say.

"What do you mean she didn't do anything wrong?" Brody wails. "She killed her." He gets up off his knees and charges toward her but Tobias steps between them. His hard look stops Brody in his tracks.

"I don't know why she died but what I do know is that it was an accident. We all stood right here and witnessed the fight, even you. Nothing about it was out of the ordinary. I never would have guessed this would happen or I would have stopped it myself," he says. "I'm sorry for your loss. The death of a loved one is never easy. I didn't know she was your sister. We're you twins?" That seems unlikely.

"No, we have different mothers but we're just as close as twins. Or we were," he says. "I'm three months older than she is … was." He turns his back on us and screams at the top of his lungs. It's a visceral, primal sound that cuts right to the heart of me. The mother in me wants to wrap my arms around him and comfort him but I know he wouldn't want that.

"Sam, you need to remember that you didn't do anything wrong," Tobias says.

"If you need to talk, please come to me, okay," I say to her. "You're not alone." I can see crushing guilt on her face before she hangs her head and her long brown hair conceals her remorse. "Go see your friends. Lean on them." She heads toward the door then stops and looks back at us.

"I'm so sorry, Brody," she quietly says then runs out into the hallway.

"I need to see Faith," he says.

"I'm afraid that won't be possible for a while," Tobias says. "Dr. Parrish is performing an examination so he can determine what killed her." I pull out my phone and quickly send Zander a message asking if he's started already. He responds almost immediately telling me that he hasn't. I ask if it's possible for her brother to see her first, and he consents to waiting.

"We'll take you to the infirmary, Brody," I say. "Dr. Parrish will wait for you. Four and I will go with you. Just give me a moment." I jog to the other side of the training room where Uriah and Christina stand, oblivious to the drama that's been unfolding right behind them. "Christina!" I have to yell to get her attention. "We have a situation. Faith died after her fight. We just found out that she was Brody's sister. We're taking him to see her. The transfers were released for the night since the fights were pretty much over. I'll tell you more when I have some answers." She's speechless, which is totally out of character for her. She nods and I hurriedly return to Tobias and Brody. "Let's go."

We walk to the infirmary in strained silence. Even though it only takes us a few minutes to exit the training room, cross the Pit floor, and enter the infirmary, it feels like an eternity passes. I'm surprised when all the transfers including Kevin who was sent here after his fight are in the waiting room, and I see that Brody is, too. Zander is waiting at the intake desk for us. He immediately takes Brody to see Faith. Tobias accompanies them but I stay in the waiting room. After they disappear through the set of double doors, I'm bombarded with questions I don't have answers to.

"Like Four said earlier, we don't know what happened," I say. "We'll know more tomorrow morning. What I do know is we all need to pull together and support each other now more than ever. Brody is going to need all of you even if he acts like he doesn't. So is Sam."

"You didn't do anything wrong, Sam," Alec says, reinforcing what I told her earlier. He drapes his arm over her shoulders and pulls her close to him. All the other misfits gather around her and give her warm words of encouragement. Where is the jealousy and backbiting that went on last year? I wish my class could have pulled together like these guys are doing right now. I guess it was the limited number of slots that bred that tension-filled atmosphere.

"Tris," Christina says as she walks into the waiting room, pulling me from my reverie. "What happened?" I quietly tell her everything I know. "Holy crap! That's awful."

"I have to go get the kids. They have to be picked up by 6:30. If I don't leave soon, I'm going to be late," I say. "I tried to get Stella to watch them but she's still in Erudite. Will you tell Four where I am if he comes out while I'm gone? I'll be back as soon as possible." I hurry to the daycare center and get there just in time. "I'm so sorry I'm late, Mrs. Wheeler. We've been dealing with a tense situation this afternoon, and I lost track of time."

"It's okay, Tris," she says. "I'll get Tyler and Tessa for you." I get Tessa's stroller out of the corner and ready it for her.

"Mommy!" Tyler says as he comes running to me. He looks around and frowns. "Whewe Daddy?"

"We'll meet him soon, buddy," I say. Mrs. Wheeler puts Tessa in the stroller for me as I tuck her diaper bag under her seat.

"Tessa had a bottle at a little before 6 p.m., and I just changed her into a clean diaper," she says. "You guys have a good night."

"Thanks," I say. "We have to go to the infirmary, Tyler. That's where Daddy is." His eyes get really big and his bottom lip starts quivering. "Oh, honey, he's not hurt. He's with the transfers, working."

"He otay?" he sniffs.

"Yes, buddy. I'm so sorry I scared you. He's fine. Are you alright?"

"I otay," he says. When we walk into the infirmary, all the misfits turn as one and look at us. Tyler grabs ahold of my leg and hides his head. I sit down, and he crawls up on my lap. He buries his head in my chest, being shy. Christina takes Tessa out of the stroller and sits down next to me. It feels like 10 sets of eyes are boring into me.

"This is Tyler," I say, smoothing down his hair. "And this is Tessa." I glide my hand down her cheek and she grins at me. "Have Four and Brody been out?"

"No," Christina says. We wait for an additional half an hour and still hear nothing. Tessa falls asleep against Christina's chest and Tyler starts getting hungry and restless.

"Tyler needs to eat," I say to Christina.

"So do you," Tobias says, coming into the room. He's a sight for sore eyes. Brody, red eyed and blotchy nosed, is beside him.

"Why don't we all go to supper?" he says. "It's getting late, and there's nothing more we can do here. I've been assured that we'll have answers in the morning."

"I'd like to thank all of you for coming. It means a lot to me," Brody quietly says. "Faith wasn't just my sister, she was my best friend, my _only_ friend. It's not going to be the same without her." His eyes search the crowd and land on Sam. He tenses but doesn't make a move. "I know it was an accident." Tyler pats my tummy, and I look down at him.

"My tummy hungwy," he says.

"I think Four is right," I say. "We need to eat. Come on." Tobias picks up Tyler who wraps his arms around his neck and lays his head on his shoulder. We head out of the infirmary with the transfers on our heels and go across the Pit floor, into the cafeteria, and straight to the nearly empty food line. We are later than normal but all of our friends are still at our table itching for information. After getting each of us a plate, we sit down. I expect an inquisition but the table is suspiciously quiet. We eat in near silence and finally it gets to be too much.

"You all are very quiet tonight," Tobias says, reading my mind. This opens the floodgates. They fire question after question at us, and we give them as many details as we can, as many as we know.

"Guys! The truth is ... We. Just. Don't. Know. It's a tragedy pure and simple. She was one of our best initiates. She would have don't great things for Dauntless but she's gone." I'm tired of talking about this sensitive subject in front of Tyler. He's paying close attention to everything that's being said, and now he's very clingy. "We need to get the kids home."

"Come here, buddy," Tobias says. "We'll see you guys later." He picks up Tyler, and we head toward the Pit but we don't make it very far.

"Four!" Tori yells, capturing our attention. She comes jogging through the thick crowd, which parts like the Red Sea. "I'm glad I caught you. I'm sorry but I need you for a couple hours tonight."

"Meet me in my office in an hour," he gruffly says. "It's been a very long day, and the kids need to get to bed."

"One hour," she says and turns and walks away and I sigh.

"Something wrong?"

"Isn't she supposed to be doing your job during initiation? Now you're doing your job, her job, and you have your family to think about. What does she want anyway?"

"I guess I'll find out when I meet her," he says. I frown. It's been such a long day. I just want him at home with me and the kids. It's probably selfish but I don't care. "Come on, let's go home." We unhurriedly make our way up the path to the Pire then go up to our apartment. Tyler doesn't make it half way home before he falls asleep while resting his head on Tobias' shoulder. He immediately takes him upstairs and puts him to bed as I sit down on the couch with Tessa who woke up on our walk home. She's all smiles tonight, which makes me feel better. I take my blood pressure, and it's high just like I expected it to be. Hopefully, playing with the baby will relieve some of my stress.

"I don't want you to go," I say when Tobias comes into the living room. He sighs as he comes and sits down next to me.

"Love, you know I have to," he says. "I may have turned the reigns over to Tori but I'm still the leader of this faction, and I have responsibilities."

"I know but I don't like it," I say. He furrows his brows at me.

"This isn't like you," he says. "You're usually very understanding when it comes to Dauntless business."

"We had an initiate die today, Tobias," I say. I take a deep breath and start to say something then stop. "Never mind." I don't even know what I want to say right now. He's right this isn't like me. "I'm going to bed."

"Don't be angry with me, Tris," he says.

"I'm not," I say, although it doesn't sound like I mean it. I get up off the couch, kiss his cheek, and head upstairs without looking back. I know I'm being irrational right now, which adds an additional layer of guilt to the plethora of emotions I'm already feeling. Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones or the stress of the day but I'm not feeling very well. I go into Tessa's room, change her diaper, and put her in a fresh onsie. I sit down in her rocking chair and rock with her until she falls back to sleep then I gently lie her in the crib. I take her baby monitor with me into the bathroom and fill the bathtub. I put a little coconut oil in the stream then slip into the relaxing hot water. I close my eyes and try to relax but it's useless. I'm wound too tight.

"May I join you?" Tobias asks from the doorway.

"I'd like that," I say, a small smile crossing my face. He silently strips off his clothes and deposits them in the hamper then slides into the tub behind me. He wraps his arms around me, and I relax into his hard body. How does the simple touch of his body to mine calm me so? "I'm so sorry, Tobias. I was being selfish and grouchy earlier. I know your job is important."

"It was so unlike you, love," he says, kissing my exposed neck.

"What did she want anyway?" I ask.

"Honestly, nothing that couldn't have waited until morning, and I told her so," he says. "I think because she doesn't have a family she forgets that others do."

"I'm still sorry. I should never try to make you choose between me and your duty," I say.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Anything," I say.

"Are your hormones running wild again?" he softly asks after a moment of silence. "And before you tear my head off I just need to know."

"Did they ever go away?" I chuckle.

"Thank God you're laughing," he says, kissing my shoulder once again. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I say. "Have you heard from Zander?"

"No," he says. "Have you checked your blood pressure?"

"Yeah," I say. "It's elevated, which doesn't surprise me. We've had a lot of stress today. That's one of the reasons I'm taking a bath. I'm hoping it relaxes me."

"It has been one hell of a day," he says. "I'm glad you didn't go in with Zander, Brody, and me. It was very emotional. Did you have any idea she was his sister before his announcement this afternoon?"

"I knew they were close, and I could see it wasn't romantic but I had no idea that they were actually related. Do you think he's going to make it?" I ask, worried about how Brody is going to deal with life in general without his sister by his side.

"I don't know," he says. "There hasn't been one day since they found out they share the same father that they haven't seen each other, and that was when they were 5 years old. Can you imagine that? Having someone ripped out of your life because of a lucky punch. I'm having a hard time justifying continuing fight training, and I told Tori that. She doesn't understand my point of view. She looks at Faith as just one initiate who didn't make it through the rigors of training. I see it as a failing on my part."

"Why is that?" I ask, confused. "You just said that it was a lucky punch. That has nothing to do with you."

"I've never told you this but I didn't revert initiation to its original state," he says. "I left some of Max's and Erudite's influence intact, and maybe if I hadn't done that, she'd still be alive."

"What are you talking about?"

"Not that many years ago, initiates used to wear protective gear during the fights," he says. "I'm sure it's still here in Dauntless somewhere. I can't see Max throwing it out since he didn't agree with Erudite's plan. Maybe we should look for it."

"I don't know, Tobias," I say, turning to look into his face. "I think we should see why she died before we change things midstream. There's already next year."

"Maybe you're right," he says. We sit in the cooling water, me wrapped in his arms not saying anything for the longest time. He moves his hands down to my tummy and cradles it lovingly. "How are you doing now?"

"Better," I say, feeling blissfully relaxed. "We should probably get out though. I'm getting cold, and Tessa will be wanting fed shortly. You need to check your phone for a message from Zander." We get out of the tub and dry off. I slip my robe on as he drags on a pair of sleep shorts. Tessa's lying in her crib whining around the fist that's in her mouth. "Are you hungry, little one?" I pick her up and carry her into our bedroom. I prop up several pillows against the headboard then sit down, leaning against them so I can nurse her. Tobias comes in and lies down beside us and puts his phone on the bed.

"He hasn't called yet," he says. "This waiting is frustrating."

"Try not to think about it," I say. "Concentrate on something else." He picks up his phone, puts it on the night stand, and moves closer to me. We stare down at Tessa as she nurses. He kisses my shoulder and sighs.

"I love you, Tris," he says. "You're a wonderful mom. Our kids are blessed, and so am I." I rest my head against his.

"I love you, too, Tobias," I say. "We all are very fortunate to have you." He kisses my neck, making me close my eyes and moan. "Please don't do that. Not when I'm feeding her."

"I'm sorry, love," he says. He sits straighter and puts his arm around me and kisses my temple. The only sound in the room is Tessa's suckling until his phone rings. He immediately answers it and listens carefully, only interjecting an occasional uh-huh or grunt. "Thanks for calling, Zander. Please send him to the dorms. We won't enforce his curfew tonight. He hasn't been disruptive, has he?" I hear Zander's voice coming through the receiver. "I didn't think so. Thanks again." He tosses the phone to the side and turns back to me.

"Faith had a preexisting aneurysm, and when her head hit the ground, it burst. He's surprised she didn't die instantly. He said any one of the fights could have killed her. She had a ticking time bomb in her brain and didn't even know about it." The mention of an aneurysm makes me think of my dad and all the problems he's had since his beating earlier this year. I'm so thankful that nothing like this happened to him.

"Maybe initiates should have a physical before they can start training in the future," I say. "Maybe the aneurysm would have been found, clipped, and this tragedy could have been avoided."

"That's an intriguing idea," he says. "I'll talk to Zander about implementing that program. It wouldn't hurt to give this year's initiates one just in case. Are you sure you want to go to part time? I like you being my second, Tris."

"Tobias," I say, a little whiny. "I thought we already agreed on this subject."

"I know. I'm sorry," he says.

"Are you having second thoughts?"

"You could still be my second in command and work reduced hours," he says after he's quiet for a while. "I should have been honest with you from the beginning. I don't mind you working less hours. I really don't. Our kids deserve as much attention you can give them but you have such a unique way at looking at things. You've done so much for Dauntless and the city in the 10 short months we've been leaders. Imagine what you could do throughout your lifetime. Just promise me that you'll think about it."

"As long as I don't have to leave the Pire very often, I don't have to think about it," I say. "I love my job. I just love you and the kids more."

"Good. I don't want Tori to be my second," he says. I slowly narrow my eyes at him. I know I was irritated with her earlier but this seems out of character for him. He and Tori have always gotten along so well.

"Is something going on with you and Tori?" I ask.

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"Is everything okay between you two," I ask. "Things seem ... strained."

"If I'm being totally honest, I'm having a hard time letting go of my anger over the Olivia thing," he says. "You and Peanut could have died, and she acted like she didn't care. If the roles had been reversed, I would have kicked the person out no questions asked."

"I think she did the right thing," I quietly say. I know this could cause him to explode. "Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful on so many levels that _she's_ not here anymore. Until today, things have been so much better but you were too close to that situation. I was, too. You couldn't make an unbiased decision and she could."

"I'm still pissed," he mutters.

"And that's fine," I say. Tessa releases my nipple, and I hand her to Tobias so he can burp her. He likes having a hand in her feedings, too, plus it gives them extra bonding time. It's my turn to stare at him while he tends to our daughter. He looks at me and I smile. "You look really good doing that."

"Burping our daughter?" he says with a chuckle. I'm glad his bad mood seems to have vanished.

"Yes," I say. "She loves you, Tobias."

"I know she does," he says. He pats her back until she burps loudly, and he kisses her head. I try to nurse her some more but she won't latch on. She lies in my arms and stares up at us. Soon her eyelids start fluttering, and she yawns a perfect little "O." "Go to sleep, Pebbles."

"Mommy and Daddy love you, little one," I say. She closes her eyes and starts suckling in her sleep.

"We have something in common, she dreams of your breasts, too." _Oh, Tobias!_ I laugh to myself and shake my head. He carefully lifts her out of my arms and takes her to her room. I hear him talking to her through the baby monitor and I smile. Who would have thought that a curly, black-haired little girl would bring him to his knees? I certainly wouldn't have dreamt that when I first met him. I take my long, pink robe off and slip between the sheets. The long day has me dragging, and I can't wait for my head to hit the pillow.

"Are you tired?" Tobias asks as he slides into bed beside me. He glides his hand down my arm as he kisses my neck. My body comes alive due to his close proximity but my mind is still weary and craving sleep.

"I am, baby," I say. His face only falls slightly. He caresses my face and leans in and gives me a soft goodnight kiss then I roll over, and he molds his body to mine, wrapping me in his loving embrace. I close my eyes but sleep eludes me. After 15 or so minutes, I roll in his arms to find him awake also. "I think I need some help falling asleep."

"You too, huh," he says. "Do you want some warm milk or maybe a massage?"

"I'd rather have you," I say, scooting myself up so that we're face to face. I move to kiss him but he puts his finger against my lips.

"You said you were tired, love," he says.

"I changed my mind," I say, capturing his mouth in a possessive kiss.


	41. Chapter 41

I'm sleeping peacefully, vividly dreaming of playing with the kids in the beautiful flower-filled field next to the pond at the Amity farm when the sound of Tessa's cries pull me from my slumber. I manage to pry myself from Tobias' vice-like embrace without waking him, causing him to groan then untangle my legs not only from his but also from the bedsheet that is hopelessly twisted around us. I look at the clock and am surprised to see that it's not even 2 a.m. It's been a while since she's had me up at this time. I quietly pad into her room after slipping into my robe and change her wet diaper, which calms her down immediately. I sit in her rocking chair and check to see if she's hungry but she's not so I just rock her until she falls back to sleep. After I gently put her back into her crib, I get back in bed and snuggle into Tobias' side. He rolls toward me and instinctively wraps his arms around me. I just fall back to sleep when loud knocking on our front door wakes me and makes Tessa start wailing. _What now!_

"Why must people bother us in the middle of the night?" I hatefully mutter, dragging my robe back on as Tobias rolls out of bed. He blindly searches for his sleep shorts and pulls them up his naked body ... backwards.

"I don't know," he mumbles, his voice thick with sleep as he fixes his shorts. "Hopefully, you can get Tessa to calm down before she wakes up Tyler."

"Mommy," Tyler yells from his room.

"Too late," I say. We don't get out of our bedroom before the knocking becomes louder and incessant. "Go make whoever that is stop." First, I pick up Tessa then go into Tyler's room. "You're okay, buddy. Someone's at the door. Why don't we get you into Mommy and Daddy's bed? I don't know how long we'll be." I help him out of bed and into ours and kiss his forehead before heading downstairs. I try to quiet Tessa who is still crying but not as loudly as before all the way down the stairs. There standing in the middle of my living room are Tori, Purple-Hair, Snake-Tattoo, Brody, and Ana. I feel the irritation I was already experiencing grow twofold. "What's going on here? It's the middle of the night. We have children who are trying to sleep." I stare at Tori not even trying to hide my annoyance.

"These two left the compound," she says, a little too rudely for my liking. "Simon and Tony found them outside."

"Simon, Tony, you two can go now," I say. "We'll take care of this from here." They look from Tori to Tobias. "Go. _Now_."

"Yes, Tris," they say at the same time, nodding and then quietly leave the apartment. They must have sensed that I'm not to be messed with right now.

"You can go now, too, Tori," I say. "We'll discuss some boundaries in the morning." She sighs and shakes her head.

"Fine," she says and stalks out.

"As for you two, sit," I say, pointing to the couch. "Where did you go?" Ana and Brody walk around the furniture and sit down on the couch.

"I went back to the dorms after I left the infirmary like the doctor told me to," Brody says. "But it was just so suffocating. I had to get out of there. I didn't really know where I was going, I just needed some air so I climbed toward the glass ceiling and made my way outside. I sat on one of the benches right outside the building thinking about everything, and then she sat down beside me. I told her to go back inside, that I didn't need her but she wouldn't listen."

"I was just trying to help," Ana shyly says.

"You were sitting on the benches outside my office … the glass office?" I ask. They nod. _Tori!_ "You swear you didn't go anywhere else?"

"No, we didn't," Ana says. "We sat on those black benches."

"Go back to the dorms and try to get some sleep," I say. "I expect you to be in the training room at 8 a.m. sharp. Both of you. We'll talk more about this in the morning."

"I'm not sure if I'll be there," Brody says. A very soft gasp leaves Ana's lips.

"Ana, please go back to the dorms," Tobias says. "Don't let me catch you out after curfew again and don't leave the compound without a Dauntless member with you."

"Yes, Four," she says. She gets up and hurry's out of the apartment, looking back at Brody for a moment before closing the door. I sit down on the love seat with Tessa snuggled into my chest, making sure that my robe is adequately covering me.

"What do you mean you're not sure you'll be there?" I ask, not unkindly.

"I'm not sure I want to stay here without ... her," he says, unable to say her name. "My life has no purpose anymore, no direction. She was everything to me. I might as well go back to what I know." My eyes meet Tobias', and he looks just as concerned as I feel.

"Brody, I can't say I know how you feel because I've never been through what you're going through now," I say. "But there is something that I do know, you deserve a life. Faith wouldn't want you to give up. You two joined Dauntless so you could have a chance at a better life."

"We had our entire future planned out then we heard that the faction leaders were allowing factionless teens to go through the initiation process," he says. "We thought, what the hell. We had the aptitude test and our future shifted. We decided to join Dauntless but she's gone now so I don't belong here."

"I'm going to let you in on a little secret," Tobias says. "You are the highest ranking initiate right now. _Initiate_ not transfer. You _do_ belong here."

"I want you to do something for me," I say. "I want you to finish initiation, giving it your all. If, after the final rankings are revealed, you want to leave and become factionless, we won't stop you."

"There's something I want you to do," Tobias says. "I want you to let the others in. No one will ever take Faith's place but you don't need to isolate yourself. I'm going to give you some advice my mentor gave me during initiation when he saw me separating myself from the other transfers. He told me that joining a faction is about more than getting through initiation. It's where you meet friends, make enemies, and fall in love."

"It happens," I say. "I met my best friend on the train on Choosing Day. Four pulled me out of the net."

"And your enemy?" Brody asks.

"We don't have to worry about him anymore," I say after I clear my throat and he immediately catches my meaning.

"Can you do that?" Tobias asks. Brody hangs his head for a couple minutes. When he looks up at us he has determination set on his face.

"Okay," he says. "I'll finish initiation, and then I'll make my decision. I'm sorry for the interruption tonight. I'll go back to the dorm now." He gets up and leaves without another word.

"Let's go back to bed," I say.

"Not so fast, Tris," he says with a sigh. "What's with the hostility toward Tori?"

"Can we _please_ go back to bed?" I ask. "I'm already going to be sleep walking tomorrow."

"Fine," he mutters. I sigh. I really don't want to fight with him. "I'll put Tessa in her crib." He very gently takes her out of my arms and heads upstairs in front of me. I watch him as he lies her in the crib without waking her. When he turns around, he's surprised to see me standing here. I take him by the hand and lead him into the bathroom and close the door.

"Tyler's in our bed," I say as an explanation. "I sent Tori home because she's acting like she can't do the job that was entrusted to her. If I was rude when I sent her away, I'm sorry. That wasn't my intention. I'm just tired, tired of it all." He's leaning against the sink, brows furrowed, staring at me.

"Tris … love." I know that censuring tone.

"Don't lecture me, Tobias," I say. "Not now. I just want to get some sleep. I'm tired of the middle of the night interruptions." I move to him and rest my head on his chest and wrap my arms around his waist. He hugs me close and kisses my head.

"We'll talk to her in the morning and set some boundaries," he says. "I can't guarantee that we'll never be woken up in the middle of the night ever again though. We are leaders of a faction after all. Let's go back to bed. We still have a couple hours before the alarm goes off." He leads me into our bedroom, and Tyler is sprawled out in the middle of the bed, making himself at home. We both chuckle at the sight. Tobias very gently picks him up and carries him to his own bed. I once again slip my robe off and slide in between the sheets and rest my head on my pillow. I hope I'm able to get back to sleep. Not a minute later, Tobias slips into bed beside me, and I nestle into his side. We sleep cuddled up against one another until the alarm jolts us awake. He hits the snooze button with a groan, and I sigh into his chest.

"Do we have to get up?" I ask, sleep thick in my voice as I stretch. I feel like I only got a couple hours of sleep even though it was a few more than that. This is going to be a damn long day.

"I'm afraid we do," he says.

"You go ahead and use the bathroom first," I say, listening to Tessa's mewing through the baby monitor. "It sounds like our little one needs me." He rolls toward me and captures my mouth in a long, slow, loving kiss while one hand moves over my naked body.

"Good morning, love," he says. "I hope today is better for all of us. We'll talk to Tori after breakfast, okay?"

"Okay," I say. He moans softly, letting me go after giving me another tender kiss. As he goes into the bathroom, I go into Tessa's room and find Tyler standing at her crib, looking at her. "Good morning, buddy. What are you doing?"

"I lookin' at Tess," he says matter-of-factly. "She laughin' at me."

"Was she?" I ask as I lift her out of the crib. "Were you being silly?"

" _No_ ," he says like I've lost my mind. "I just talkin' to hew."

"You're a good brother keeping her company," I say. "Hey, why don't you do Mommy a favor and pick out an outfit for her." He nods enthusiastically and goes into her closet. This will give him something to do while I feed her.

"How this?" he asks about 10 minutes later holding up a black, leopard print, and white tulle tutu romper that says Born To Wear Diamonds in faux diamonds across the front.

"That's really pretty," I say. "You did a very good job." I'll have to look for the matching bow headband and black shoes. I imagine I'll also have to put some of her other outfits back where they belong but that's what I get for asking him to pick what she's going to wear today.

"Look, Daddy," Tyler says, drawing my attention to Tobias who's standing in the doorway staring at the three of us. He holds up the outfit to his dad. "I picked out fo Tess."

"You did a great job. She's going to look so cute in that," he says. "How about you pick out your own outfit today? I'll help you."

"Otay," he says. "Bye, Tess. Bye, Mommy."

"Bye, buddy," I say. I watch them walk out of the room then look down at Tessa and say, "I know why you were laughing at your brother because he's super silly this morning." She releases me and laughs again. "And you're super cute." After she finishes nursing, I go to the closet to look for the accessories that match the outfit Tyler picked out. I'm pleasantly surprised that he didn't make a terrible mess. The dresser drawers are a little disorganized but I've seen worse after Tobias has looked for something. I find what I'm looking for, change her out of her dirty diaper, and dress her. "How about you help Mommy pick out something to wear today, little one?" I carry her into my bedroom and stand in front of the closet looking for something comfortable to wear.

"Here let me take her," Tobias says.

"Go to Daddy," I say handing her to him. I look down at Tyler who looks very grown up in his faded black jeans, black t-shirt, and combat boots. I have to laugh. He's dressed _exactly_ like Tobias. "Nice outfit, Tyler."

"I look like Daddy," he proudly says.

"Yes, you do look just like your Daddy," I say. I squat down and give him a big hug and kiss, which he happily returns.

"We'll go start breakfast," Tobias says. "How does bacon and eggs sound?" My stomach growls appreciatively at the mention of food as Tyler claps his hands together excitedly. Tessa looks down at him and laughs. My kids are so cute. "Come on guys. Let's go downstairs so Mommy can get ready."

"I'll see you soon," I say.

"In case you missed it, Tyler picked out an outfit for you, too," Tobias says. "It's laying on the bed." I turn and sure enough there's a pair of black boot cut maternity jeans with a sleeveless light grey maternity shirt with a thin satin sash the exact same color that ties into a small bow under my right breast. It's another hand-me-down from Christina that I've never worn.

"Thank you, Tyler," I say. "I appreciate it." They go downstairs to fix breakfast while I go into the bathroom to get ready for my day. After a quick shower, I dry and style my hair, put on some light makeup, and then I dress in the outfit Tyler picked out. I have to admit, he did a wonderful job. I feel very feminine and pretty in this outfit. I slip into my favorite pair of comfortable black ankle boots and double check how I look in the mirror before going downstairs for breakfast.

"Mommy, you pwetty," Tyler says as I come into the living room. He runs over to me and wraps his arms around my legs, squeezing tightly.

"Thank you," I say. "You did a really good job picking out my outfit for me. Did anyone help you?"

"Yeah, Daddy help," he says.

"Be careful with Mommy, buddy. You don't want her to fall," Tobias says, looking over his shoulder. He gives me a once over and a dazzling smile spreads over his face. "You do look very pretty today, love." Tyler releases me and runs into the kitchen and Tobias lifts him onto a barstool he pulled over so he can watch.

"Thank you," I say.

"I left a message for Tori," Tobias says. I squat down in front of Tessa and wipe the drool off her chin before it gets on her shirt then give her a big kiss and restart her swing. "She's going to meet us outside the daycare center at 7:30. I told her we have some things to go over with her, and that should give us enough time to get to the training room before 8:00."

"Okay," I say. It's funny how the strong irritation I was feeling earlier has vanished. Now I feel bad for how I treated her. I'm definitely going to have to swallow my pride and apologize. I could blame it all on pregnancy hormones but the truth is, I was irritable and wanted to wield my power over someone since I was feeling so powerless, and she was my unlucky victim. I walk to the kitchen and lean up against the counter next to him. "I have to apologize to her. I took my frustrations out on her. I should apologize to you, too. I've put you in a precarious position the past couple of days. You shouldn't have to choose between me and your duties. That's unfair of me."

"There's no choice, love," he says, caressing my face. "It will always be you. But I have to thank you for that. So you're feeling better, huh?"

"Still a bit emotional," I say.

"Everything's going to be okay," he says, leaning over and putting his lips on mine for a quick kiss. "Why don't you sit down? Breakfast is almost ready."

"Okay," I say. I walk around the island and sit in my usual spot and watch as Tobias plates fluffy scrambled eggs, crispy thick cut bacon, wheat toast with honey butter, and fruit salad with yogurt and walnuts. "Can I have apple juice this morning instead of OJ?" I have a strong craving right now. I probably could drink a gallon but then I wouldn't be able to stay out of the bathroom.

"Of course," he says as he slides the plates across the island to me. He pours us each a juice, and sits down beside me.

"This is really good this morning," I say when I'm nearly done. "Did you do something different?"

"No," he says.

"Well, it's really good. Thank you."

"You're very welcome," he says. After we finish breakfast, Tobias cleans up the kitchen with Tyler's help while I change Tessa's diaper. She immediately falls asleep once she's dry and comfortable.

"Are you ready to go?" I ask as I come back downstairs.

"We are," Tobias says. He carries Tessa's stroller down to the Pire then after I gently lie her in it, I push her down the path to the daycare center while Tyler rides on Tobias' shoulders. When she sees our sleeping girl, Mrs. Wheeler immediately takes her to the baby room so she can continue her nap, and we take Tyler into the play room. After saying goodbye, he goes to play with Zane, Emma, Elliott, and Mia. We watch them for a couple minutes then quietly excuse ourselves. When we exit the daycare center, Tori is waiting for us.

"Hi, Tori," I say. "Before we start, I need to apologize. I could blame my bad behavior on pregnancy hormones but it wouldn't be completely true. All the stress of the past week or two got to be too much, and I took it out on you."

"Thanks, Tris."

"That being said, we've got to draw a line," Tobias says. "Please don't come to our home in the middle of the night unless it's an emergency. What Brody and Ana did was wrong but since they didn't leave the property, it wasn't necessary to bring them to us. I trust you, Tori. I wouldn't have offered you the job if I didn't have faith in you. You could have handled the situation. As a matter of fact, you should have taken care of it."

"I'm overwhelmed, Four," she says with a sigh. She leans against the hallway wall and runs her hands through her long black hair, which seems to be a typical reaction to stress here in Dauntless. "I don't know how you do everything."

"I've assembled a great team around me," he says. "If you need anything at all during business hours, call or message me. If it's after hours and not an emergency, message me, and I'll get back to you in the morning. I don't want you to be overwhelmed. The next six weeks will be over before we all know it."

"Four, Tris, Tori," Will says, running up to us, panting. He leans over with his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. "I've been looking everywhere for you. We have a serious problem. They just found an initiate in the chasm."


	42. Chapter 42

What's going on around here? First Murphy has a full-fledged nervous breakdown during weapons training, then _the bitch_ goes off the reservation and makes a play for _my_ husband, Faith is accidentally killed during a practice fight, and now one of our initiates has taken their own life by jumping into the chasm. My heart rate picks up in my chest, pounding painfully as it reaches a rapid pace. My breathing becomes shallow and quick, and my eyesight grows dark around the edges. All of a sudden I'm transported back in time one year to when a suffocating feeling overtook me as I watched another initiate pulled out of the chasm.

"Hey, Tris, are you okay?" Will asks, sounding very far away. I can tell everyone is looking at me but I'm not really seeing them.

"Shit," Tobias mutters under his breath. He puts his hands on either side of my face and stares deeply into my eyes. "You've got to calm down, love. Think of Peanut. Breathe with me." He coaxes me into the relaxing deep breathing exercises, and I finally feel a tranquility envelope me. "Are you okay?"

"Sorry, flashback," I murmur, not only embarrassed by my absurd reaction but by the fact that so many witnessed it. "Who jumped, Will? Was it Brody?"

"Actually, I didn't wait around to see who it was," he says. "I left Simon and Tony in charge of getting the body out of the chasm and to the infirmary and came to find all of you." The four of us purposefully walk from the daycare center, across the Pit floor to where a large crowd of Dauntless has gathered by the chasm edge near the railing.

"Back up," Tobias forcefully says using his public Four voice. "Everyone, back up … _now!_ " The gawkers finally move out of our way just in time for us to see Purple-Hair zip up Sam in the large black body bag. Absentmindedly, I think we must only have one size of body bag here in Dauntless. It was too small for Al but it's entirely too large for her.

"We should have checked on her," I mutter, mainly to myself. We were so focused on Brody that we didn't think twice about what she was going through. "I know she was upset but I didn't know she was this upset."

"Will, do you know where Uriah and Christina are?" Tobias asks.

"We're right here, Four," Uriah says as they push their way through the onlookers, reaching our side. "Who is it?"

"Sam," Tobias says.

"She's the one who fought Faith, right?" Christina asks.

"Yeah," he says.

"Why'd she do it?" she asks. I feel the same irrational annoyance I've been feeling the past couple of days creeping up on me, and I don't want to snap at anyone else, especially my best friend so I take a long, deep cleansing breath.

"I doubt we'll ever know," I say as we watch Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo pick up the body bag and carefully move through the throng of people toward the infirmary. "We've got to get to the training room."

"Why don't you four go ahead and continue with the initiates," Tori says, taking charge. "Will and I will accompany the body to the infirmary."

"Sam," I say. "Her name was Sam."

"Of course, Tris. I didn't mean any disrespect," she says.

"We'll do that, Tori," Tobias says. We split up after the crowd finally disperses. Tori and Will head off in the direction of the infirmary while Uriah, Christina, Tobias, and I make our way to the training room. We're all quiet on our walk. I'm worried about having to break the news to the transfers that yet another one of them is gone, and Tobias is preoccupied with his phone, messaging someone I assume. I don't know what's on Uriah or Christina's minds but they're somber, too. Maybe what happened this morning reminded them of Al, too. When we enter the training room, everyone is gathered around talking to one another, transfers mixed with Dauntless-born, except for Brody who is standing off by himself. I notice Ana stealing glances at him from time to time. I didn't see it earlier but I think she likes him.

"Can we have everyone's attention please?" Uriah says. The room goes silent, and all the initiates look our way.

"This morning a body was pulled out of the chasm," Tobias says, showing little emotion. I know him well enough to know that something is on his mind but he hasn't shared his concerns with me yet. "It was Sam." Bethany gasps and turns to Alec who takes her in his arms, whispering in her ear while running a hand comfortingly through her hair.

"What happened yesterday with Faith was a tragedy," I say. "And Sam's death only adds to it."

"I don't want to sound callus but we're on a tight schedule, and we need to continue with your training," Tobias says. Dauntless-borns are used to death so they don't seem phased but the transfers look appalled that there won't be a break in the initiation process. I remember that feeling. "Dauntless-born with Uriah and Christina, transfers here with us." Alec releases Bethany whose nose is running and eyes are red-rimmed. "We're going to continue with long gun training this morning. Everyone grab a gun and a target and get…"

"Would we be talking about weapons training if it was one of _your_ friends who just died?" Bethany defiantly says, interrupting Tobias. He doesn't like being interrupted and takes a step toward her but I put my hand on his forearm, stopping him.

"Yes," I say, "we would." I step closer to the misfits and meet each of their gazes before I continue. "Do you remember during your tour of the compound on Choosing Day? Four and I took you to the chasm, and I told you a reckless jump off the ledge would end your life. I warned you that it happened before. I wasn't lying. Last year during initiation, Four gave my class the same advice but not everyone listened." I pause to steady myself. "My initiation was a lot different than yours. All the initiates had to fight tooth and nail for 1 of 10 spots in Dauntless. A friend of mine obviously wasn't going to make it, so he chose the chasm over becoming factionless." I stop and look directly at Bethany. "So, _yes_ , I know exactly how you are feeling right now." I don't mention my guilt, which has reared its ugly head today because they don't need to know what lead up to Al's death. "Like Four said, we're not being callus. We're being realistic. There will be a funeral and time to say goodbye for Faith and Sam later. Right now, we have work to do." Without a word, the misfits all go to the table, pick up a weapon and some ammunition, then stand in front of the targets and begin unloading the shotguns. With the tension I'm feeling, I wouldn't mind getting my hands on a weapon. Maybe I can talk Tobias into coming back after hours to blow off some steam.

"Why don't you sit down, love," Tobias says against my ear. I go to sit down on the usual uncomfortable black metal folding chair but it's not there. In its place is a comfortable-looking brown leather chair. "I told you I'd get you a chair. I keep my promises." I sink into the supple leather and sigh. This is a wonderful chair.

"Thank you," I say. He kneels down beside me and reaches for my hand.

"You're welcome," he says. "You know, you're so good with the transfers. I was going to get into Bethany's face and basically tell her to shut her mouth. You made them all understand by sharing a part of yourself. I can't do that."

"You share parts of yourself every day … with your friends … with your kids … _with me_ ," I say. "There's no rules saying you have to act a certain way, you know." He gives me a quick kiss on the temple then straightens up and takes his phone out of his pocket. It must have alerted him to a message. He reads a text and a concerned look covers his face. "What is it?"

"Nothing yet," he says, mysteriously. I furrow my brows at him, and he bends down and whispers in my ear, "As soon as I know something, I'll let you know. There's no need for you to worry." That's easier said than done but I agree to keep myself calm for Peanut's sake.

The morning flies by. To get my mind off whatever Tobias is keeping from me, I carefully evaluate each of the transfers as they practice with the long guns. Once again, Brody is an absolute natural. The determination he displayed just before he left our apartment earlier is still evident on his face. The girls all seem to be off today, especially Bethany and Ana but I'm not holding it against them. It seems their minds aren't in the training room. On the flipside, the guys don't seem to be letting the deaths distract them at all. They're acting like it's any other day.

"Lunchtime," Tobias yells over the sound of the gunfire at a little before 12:30. The transfers immediately stop, and after securing their weapons, head for the cafeteria. "Let's grab a couple slices and have lunch in our old apartment. I don't feel like answering the millions of questions I know our friends will have for us."

"Sounds good to me," I say. Within 10 minutes we're sitting on his old bed eating slices of sausage, onion, and green pepper pizza. "This is really good." I moan appreciatively around a bite. "Peanut approves."

"I'm glad to hear that," he says with a chuckle. "I have to say that I approve, too. I thought about getting pepperoni but I'm glad you talked me into this."

"It looked good," I say. "I'm glad the chefs decided to do pizza slices at lunch all the time. It's quick and easy." I push my empty plate away and lie down on the bed to relax. "Will we have to give up this place when it comes time to assign apartments to the initiates?" He slides down on the bed beside me after putting our plates on the floor and props himself up on his elbow.

"I doubt it," he says. "We have several empty apartments."

"Good because I like having this as a little escape," I say. "It holds a lot of memories for us."

"Yeah, it does," he says. He smiles then a far off look settles over his face.

"Penny for your thoughts," I say, pulling him from his reverie.

"I was just thinking about you," he says.

"Me?"

"Yeah," he says. "How are you? Sam's death made you think about Al, didn't it?"

"Yeah. I had that same suffocating feeling this morning I had the night Al was pulled out of the chasm. It was overwhelming. I felt the guilt overpowering me." Talking about it brings the familiar feeling to the surface again, and my heart once again starts to race.

"Hey. Calm down, love," he says. "I wish you didn't feel guilty over _his_ decision. It's not your fault. You can't live your life wondering 'what if.'"

"I know," I sigh. I move my mouth to his for a quick, tender kiss but the minute his lips meet mine the tension of the last 24 hours causes desire to explode deep in my belly, making me want him this instant. I wrap my arms around his neck and press my body to his the best I can with my pregnant belly between us. I know we don't have a lot of time so I slide my hands down to the button of his jeans and move it from its home then slip my fingers inside his boxer briefs, gently rubbing his burgeoning erection. He moans into my mouth then starts shaking his head.

Dragging his lips from mine he says, "Hey, we don't have time for that, love." He grabs my hand, pulls it out of his pants, and laces our fingers together, probably in an effort to settle my roaming digits.

"Yes, we do," I say, cupping the back of his head with my free hand and staring into his eyes. "Please, baby. I need you. _Please_ love me, Tobias."

"I can never tell you no," he growls.

"You don't want to tell me no," I say. I free my hand and move it back to the rigid bulge in his pants. "You're so hard. You want me just as much as I want you. Please, I want you inside me … now."

"We'll have to be quick, love." We sit up, and after he gets off the bed, I pull his jeans down over his hips, bringing his boxer briefs with them. As he steps out of his pants, I take his throbbing manhood in my mouth and tease him with my tongue. "We definitely don't have time for that." _There's_ always _time for this._ But I release him from my mouth and stand up. He falls to his knees before me then tugs my maternity jeans down my legs and kisses my belly. "I love your growing tummy. I find it sexy." He slides my panties down as he talks to me. When I'm standing in front of him partially clothed, he buries his head between my legs. I feel his hands gliding up and down my legs as his tongue lightly dances over my nubbin. I throw my head back and allow myself to enjoy his ministrations.

"You're right, we don't have time for this," I say. He gets to his feet and captures my mouth, thrusting his tongue through my parted lips. When I can no longer breathe, I push him onto the bed then climb up and onto his body, straddling his hips. I position him at my entrance and ease myself down onto every hard inch of him. "Oh. My. God. I love how you feel so deep inside me." I look down into his eyes and see love and lust radiating back at me.

"We have to hurry," he roughly says. I lift myself off him then forcefully press myself back down as he thrusts his hips up to meet mine.

"Uh." We move against each other at a frantic pace. He positions his hand between us and circles my throbbing nubbin with the pad of his thumb using a light pressure.

"Shit," he groans as he shifts his hips, thrusting himself deeply inside me. He increases the pressure on my aching bundle of nerves and his other hand moves from my hip up to my breast. He kneads the swaying flesh, occasionally rolling the extremely sensitive nipple between his thumb and finger.

"Ah," I say as I force myself down on his upward thrusts, harder and faster. "Oh, baby. You're gonna make me come." He moves both his hands to my rapidly wriggling hips and makes me call out with each powerful thrust. "Oh. My. God!" I quit breathing as wave after wave of overwhelming pleasure washes over me. I gasp for air when I resurface as he continues to thrust into me urgently, seeking his own release. After a few more thrusts he lets go, shuddering and convulsing beneath me.

"Aaahh, _Tris!_ " he moans as he spills himself into me. We stop moving, gasping for much-needed air, and I collapse on top of him. He pulls out of me then rolls us on to our sides. I gently caress his cheeks before pulling his mouth to mine for a long, lazy kiss. "As much as I'd like to lie with you like this all afternoon, we should jump in the shower and get back to the training room."

"You're right," I sigh, not wanting to move an inch.

"Duty calls." We get up after another leisurely kiss and head into the small bathroom. We've never showered together here and quickly realize that it would be much easier to just take separate showers. He lets me go first, and I'm in and out in record time. As I'm getting dressed, his phone sounds, alerting me that he has a message.

"Hey, baby, you have a message on your phone," I say. I'm in front of the small mirror, making sure my hair is presentable as he steps out of the shower. I watch as he dries himself off, and he furrows his brows at me. "What?"

"You have a sort of goofy look on your face," he says as he starts to get dressed.

"You are a _very_ sexy man," I say, letting my eyes roam over his body. "I'm a _very_ lucky girl." A blush steals across his body, and he stares at me blankly. "Why are you looking at me like that?" I seem to have frozen him in place. "Earth to Tobias. We have like five minutes to get back to the training room on time. Unless you want to cancel this afternoon and stay here for round two, three, and maybe four." One second we're standing in the close confines of the small bathroom staring at each other, and the next he has his tongue shoved in my mouth, violently tangling it with mine.

"You think I'm sexy?" he pants against my mouth.

"You know I do, baby," I groan. "Come on." I break away from him, throw his shirt at him, and walk out of the bathroom. He follows me, pulling his shirt on over his head, covering his perfect chest. I pick up his phone and the empty plates then head out into the hallway. I don't check to see if he's following me, I know he is. Within a couple strides he's by my side. "Here's your phone. Thank you for a diverting lunch hour."

"I should thank _you_ ," he says with a sideways glance and that cocky grin of his. He finally looks at his phone and his smile vanishes.

"What is it?" I ask.

"I'll tell you once we get the transfers going," he says, opening the training room door for me. When we walk in, the misfits all turn and look at us with accusing eyes. _Yes! We're late._ They don't say anything about our tardiness and neither do we. Tobias just points to the punching bags and goes to get my chair while I throw our plates away. The misfits hesitate for a moment before turning to the bags. Until today there has been a clear separation of the genders during fight practice with girls to the right and guys to the left. They have done that since day one but today Bethany is right next to Alec, and Ana, Sadie, and Zoey are flanking Brody. "Here you go, love." Tobias puts the leather chair down by the large green board so I can see the practice area clearly, and I sit down. He leans up against the wall and watches the transfers.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on?" He looks down at me and sighs. "Well?" He kneels down by the chair, still staring at the misfits. It's obvious he doesn't want to talk about whatever's going on in front of them.

"I had Tori ask Zander to do a thorough inspection of Sam's body and an autopsy if necessary," he says.

"And? That's standard with any death. Isn't it?" He shakes his head at me.

"I don't think she jumped, Tris," he quietly says. I can't help my sharp intake of air. _What?_ "I have no evidence. Just call it a hunch. I also messaged Zeke to have him look through the surveillance footage to see if Sam can be seen jumping into the chasm."

"Did he find anything?" I ask.

"Yeah," he says sounding exasperated. "We have entirely too many blind spots in the cameras by the chasm. All he saw was a hooded figure with their head down making sure they can't be identified walking into and out of camera range at the approximate point of entrance at around 4:30 a.m. Until we have a time of death we won't know if that is significant or not."

"Why didn't you want to tell me this earlier?" I ask, knowing full well what he's going to say.

"You're to have zero stress right now," he says. "I can tell this is very stressful for you. I should send you to the infirmary to have your blood pressure checked."

"I know you're worried about Peanut and me but don't shut me out … _please_ ," I plead. "Don't you realize that keeping me in the dark just causes me even more stress?"

"I'm sorry," he sighs. "I'm trying to do what I think is best for everyone involved."

"I know," I say.

"I don't like what's been going on around here since initiation started," he says. "It's not supposed to be this stressful." An odd look crosses his face, and he finally looks at me. "You know, with Faith's death yesterday afternoon I totally forgot about the offer I made to whomever was helping Olivia. Obviously they didn't take my generosity seriously. When I find out who was helping her, so help me I'm going to..." His sentence drifts off, and he takes some deep breaths. I watch as he gets up and wanders through the misfits, watching their practice, distracting himself.

I forgot about his offer, too. He gave the perpetrator until curfew last night to come forward for a free pass. When he finds out who was helping the bitch, they're going to wish they had taken him up on his generous offer. I watch each transfer carefully, not evaluating their progress but wondering which one was helping her. My money is on her minions, Grant and Jesse. I can't imagine that it's Ana or Bethany who also hail from Candor. Neither one of them associated with her any more than they needed to.

With about an hour left until training is over for the day, Tori, Will, Harrison, Purple-Hair, and Snake-Tattoo walk into the room at the exact same time that Tobias pulls his phone out of his pocket and answers it. He pales as he listens to whoever it is on the other end of the line. Slowly the transfers stop practicing when they notice the strong showing of authority behind them. It's obvious that Tobias' suspicions were correct. When he gets off the phone, he nods at Tori who steps forward.

"For those of you who do not know me, my name is Tori," she says. "I am one of your five faction leaders. This morning, it was brought to our attention that an initiate took her own life by jumping into the chasm. As unfortunate as that act may be, the truth is far worse. Sam didn't jump into the chasm. She was murdered and _thrown_ into the chasm." Bethany's knee's buckle, and she nearly falls to the floor but Alec grabs ahold of her, steadying her. One by one, the rest of the initiates turn and look at Brody.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asks, his face turning red from either embarrassment or anger, I'm not sure which. "I didn't do anything to Sam."

"You're all dismissed for the rest of the night," Tobias says. "Brody, I need you to come with us."


	43. Chapter 43

Tobias, Tori, Will, Harrison, and I sit in Tobias' office opposite Brody who is looking defiant and defeated at the same time. On our walk up the path from the Pit to the Pire, Tobias told me that Sam was in fact strangled and thrown into the chasm. Zander did a full autopsy after finding substantial bruising on her neck during his visual inspection, which confirmed Tobias' suspicions. Sam was murdered.

"Dr. Parrish determined the time of death to be between 3:30 and 5:30 a.m.," Tobias says. "I need to know where you were during that timeframe, Brody."

"I. Didn't. Kill. Her," Brody emphatically says. He puts his face in his hands with a sigh and rubs it aggressively then looks up at us. "I've never killed anyone." I get up from my seat and stand in front of him, casually leaning against Tobias' desk, although I feel anything but casual.

"I can't speak for anyone else in this room," I say, gaining his full attention, "but I don't think you hurt Sam. With that being said though, we need you to answer all our questions honestly. There's a process we have to go through. Okay?"

"Okay, Tris," he says as he slumps in his chair, somewhat resigned.

"So, where did you go when you left our apartment?" I ask. He hesitates then sighs.

"I went to the net," he says. "I know you told me to go back to the dorms but I just couldn't do it. Every time I set foot in that room I feel like I'm suffocating. If you choose to make me leave, I will accept that."

"No one's making you leave," I say.

"Tris," Tori warns.

"This _is_ your last chance though," I say, trying to cover what might have been an over step on my part. "Was anyone with you at the net who could corroborate your story?"

"No," he says. "I was alone." That's unfortunate.

"How long were you at the net?" Will asks.

"Until almost 6 a.m.," he says. "Then I went to the bathroom for a long shower. After I finished I went to the cafeteria for breakfast, although I couldn't eat anything."

"How did you get to the net?" Tobias asks, a look of concern on his face.

"The passageway in the hallway by the dorm rooms," he says.

"How in the world did you find out about that?" I ask. I just learned about it on Choosing Day. He's been here less than three weeks.

"Faith and I saw someone coming out of that door early one morning, and we decided to go exploring that night," he says, shrugging his shoulders. He sounds just like a curious Dauntless-born, roaming around the compound.

"Who was it?" Tobias asks.

"I honestly don't know," he says. "Whoever it was went down a dark hallway, and we never saw her face."

"Her?" Tori asks. "I thought you didn't see the person."

"I never saw her _face_ ," he says like he's speaking to someone who is slow, "but I saw her body. She was definitely female." _Hhm. Typical guy._

"Was she tall like Murphy or short like Ana?" Tobias asks.

"Um, I guess she was built more like Murphy," he says.

"Truth serum?" Tori asks, looking at Tobias who moves to lean against his desk next to me. He looks at Brody for a moment before answering.

"We don't have any hard evidence that Brody is the one who killed Sam so I think putting him through a truth serum interrogation is premature. Unless you would like to clear your name."

"What's truth serum?" Brody asks, obviously confused. "I've never heard of that before."

"Each of the factions has its own serum for various things. Candor's serum is a truth serum," I say. "It's administered into a vein in your neck. Once it activates, which doesn't take long at all, you are only able to tell the truth." _Unless you're Divergent like me._ "It's used in Candor initiations to make sure that their candidates are worthy of being called Candor and during interrogations to ensure suspects are telling the truth."

"I'll do it," he clearly states with his head held high, looking back at Tobias. "I don't want anyone looking at me wondering if I'm a murderer. If this will clear me, I want to do it as soon as possible."

"I'll call Candor and arrange it," Tori says getting up from her chair and pulling her phone out of her pocket. When she opens the office door, I see Ana lingering in the hallway.

"Do you need something, Ana?" I ask.

"She's just waiting for me," Brody says, interrupting her before she can say anything. "I offered to help her with her fighting after supper."

"What about Faith and Sam's funerals?" Will asks. I forgot about the funerals.

"I don't think I can handle her funeral," he says. "I'll say goodbye to Faith in my own way in my own time. I'm just not ready."

"I understand," I say. Tori comes back into the room and closes the door behind her, leaving Ana in the hallway.

"Jack said Brody can go under truth serum tomorrow morning at 10 a.m. It will be an informal interrogation in Dauntless' holding room," she says. Oh, great! That means I have to sit on that uncomfortable low bench. "Four, will you get ahold of Uriah and Christina and have them watch the transfers while you and Tris take him to Candor?"

"You got it," he says. "Brody, you can go ahead and go for the evening. Just a reminder, be in the dorms by 10 p.m. We can't offer you anymore chances."

"Thanks, Four," he says. Ana is still outside when he opens the door. She starts to say something but he quickly quiets her. He stalks off in the direction of the Pit, and she hurries after him.

"What in the world was that about?" I ask, pushing myself away from the desk. I go to the door and step out into the hallway. Brody and Ana are standing at the end of the hallway, their heads nearly touching, absorbed in a heated conversation. When he notices my presence, they turn to look at me, then he puts his hand on the small of her back and leads her away.

"What?" Tori asks.

"Something's going on with those two," I say as I walk back into the office, closing the door behind me.

"What do you mean?" Tobias asks.

"Didn't you guys see that?" They all look at me like I'm crazy. "Ana was going to say something when Brody opened the door, and he interrupted her. And I just saw them … _arguing_ is too strong of a word but the minute he saw me, they immediately quieted down, and he ushered her toward the Pit."

"I think she needs to go to Candor with us," Tobias says. "Maybe they are hiding something."

"I have a better idea," I say. "Instead of having her come with us, have Simon and Tony bring her. If they leave just after us, they'll arrive just before Brody's interrogation, and it'll be interesting to see how he reacts."

"I thought you didn't think he killed Sam," Harrison says.

"I don't think he had anything to do with it, and she's too weak to have strangled Sam but they're definitely hiding something," I say.

"How many chances are we going to give him?" Tori asks.

"I was serious when I told him we can't give him any more chances," Tobias says. "But I want to address something. The benches outside Tris' office, in my opinion, are still inside the compound. I had Zeke check the surveillance tapes from early this morning, and Brody and Ana never left those benches. Yes, they were out of the dorms after curfew but they didn't actually leave the compound. Do we all agree?" We all nod while he gets a small stack of papers off his desk. "This is a picture of the mystery person seen by the chasm. Does it remind you of anyone?" He hands us each a photo of a person dressed head to toe in black. Even though the weather is mostly warm right now, the person is wearing a long-sleeved hooded sweatshirt with the hood pulled up, covering the face. I'd say the person is tall but it could be either a male or female; it's really hard to tell.

"Just looks like a typical Dauntless member," Harrison says.

"I agree, except for the sweatshirt," Will says. "Whoever this is, is certainly trying to hide their identity. They could know about the cameras."

"I think you're right about that. I have Zeke looking over all the video from last night and this morning to see if he finds anything out of the ordinary," Tobias says. "What time are the funerals starting?"

"Tori and I will begin at a little after 7 in the cafeteria," Harrison says. "We'd like all of us to be there."

"I'll be there but Tris is going to stay at home with the kids," Tobias says. "We don't want to expose Tyler to a Dauntless funeral; he's entirely too young. And I couldn't find a sitter."

"Speaking of the kids, I should get to the daycare center and pick them up," I say.

"I'm sorry, I forgot to tell you. I asked Christina to pick them up for us," he says, apologetically. "If we aren't here, she'll bring them to the apartment."

"Oh, okay," I say.

"Is there anything else we need to go over?" Will asks.

"Do you have anything else, Tori?" Tobias asks.

"Not really," she says.

"I'll meet you in the cafeteria as close to 7 p.m. as I can," he says. "We'll see you guys later." When Will opens the door, Christina is standing there getting ready to knock.

"Well hello," he says with a chuckle. "We were just talking about you."

"Is that why my ears were burning?" she say, flirting with him.

"Hi, Mommy," Tyler says as he walks into the office. He looks like he's moping.

"Are you okay, buddy?" I ask.

"Yeah," he says with a sigh. That might be true but he's not acting like himself right now.

"Shall we go home and fix some supper?" Tobias asks as he picks Tyler up who solemnly nods his head. I take a smiling Tessa from Christina, thank her for picking them up for us, and we all head upstairs. We say goodbye to our neighbors in the hallway then go into our apartment. I put Tessa in her swing and turn the timer on then sit down on the couch.

"Tyler, come here please," I say. He's sitting at the foot of the stairs playing with his fire engine and dump truck. When he hears his name, he gets up and comes to stand in front of me. "Do you want to sit on Mommy's lap?" He crawls up onto the couch and into my arms. "What's wrong? You seem so sad today."

"I otay," he says. I wrap my arms around him and kiss his head, and he wriggles his way out of my embrace and goes back to his cars, making my heart ache a little. Okay, a lot. Tobias kisses the top of my head, and I look up at him.

"It's alright, love," he says. "He's probably just feeling the same stress we've been feeling the past 24 hours. If he has something to say, I'm sure he'll talk to you or me about it later. Why don't you help me with supper? It will help get your mind off our moody 2 year old."

"Alright," I say, getting off the couch. "What are we making?"

"I think we should make big, fat, juicy cheeseburgers, homemade sweet potato fries, mixed vegetables, grilled peaches, and maybe some macaroni and cheese." At the mention of his favorite food, Tyler turns and grins at us. There's my happy boy. "Mommy and Daddy will let you know when supper's ready, okay?"

"Otay," he says.

"You go ahead and play until then," I say. Tobias and I work together in the kitchen, our moves a synchronized dance for the next half-an-hour preparing our supper. "I love cooking with you. This is fun."

"It is, isn't it," he says. "Maybe we should do this more often." I look into the living room when Tessa starts fussing and see her swing has stalled. When I reach her, an offensive odor reaches my nose, and I realize it wasn't the swing stopping that's making her cranky.

"Come on, you little stinker. Let's get you cleaned up," I say as I take her out of the swing. "We'll be right back." I carry her up to her room, change her into a clean diaper, and put her in a new lightweight pink, red, and white sleeper with a delicate floral pattern on one side and "Sleepy Little Lady" above a cute little lady bug dozing on a flower on the other. "These are definitely your colors, little one. Pinks and reds look really good on you. Should we go back downstairs and see your Daddy and brother?" She smiles the wide toothless grin that melts my heart, and I pepper her face with kisses. "You've stolen my heart just as much as your Daddy has."

"Me, too?" Tyler asks.

"Yes, of course," I say stepping around him to put Tessa in her swing. "I love you and your sister just as much as I love your Daddy." I squat down and kiss the top of his head then go into the kitchen to finish supper with Tobias. "What would you like me to do?"

"Will you check on the sweet potato fries?" he asks.

"Sure," I say. I take the baking sheet out of the oven and find the fries are crispy and ready to be served. I set them on the heated stove and get some honey mustard out of the fridge for dipping. "Is everything else ready?"

"Yep," he says as he takes the peaches off the indoor grill and drizzles them with the caramel sauce he just made.

"Will you please get Tyler up to the island, and I'll make our plates?" I ask.

"Sure," he says. He kisses my temple as he passes by me on his way into the living room. He picks Tyler up and gets him situated at the island while I make our plates. "Are you ready for supper, buddy?"

"Yeah," he says. "I stawving." I look over my shoulder at my guys, and Tyler looks so serious right now. I have to stifle my laugh. I slide his plate of cut up hamburger, macaroni and cheese, and mixed veggies to him and his eyes light up.

"Well it's a good thing that supper's ready then, huh?" I say. I put Tobias' and my plates on our placemats then pour us each a tall glass of milk. "Everything looks wonderful." I sit down next to Tyler after serving the drinks.

"It does," Tobias says. "I'm going to have to go to the cafeteria right after I get done. If I hurry, I might make it before Tori starts."

"Is it bad that I'm relieved that I don't have to go?" I ask.

"No. To tell you the truth, I wish I didn't have to go either."

"Sometimes being a leader has its advantages but sometimes it…" I mouth the word "sucks" at him, not wanting Tyler repeating it. He gives me a tired, knowing look. He keeps his word and heads for the door immediately upon finishing his plate.

"I'll be back as soon as possible," he says as he wraps his arms around me. I go up on my tiptoes and pull his mouth to mine for a soft kiss. We part when we hear Tyler's snickers. We grin at each other, and he rolls his eyes as I shake my head. "I love you, Tris. Buddy, you be good for Mommy. Hopefully, I'll be back before you go to bed but if I'm not, I'll stop in and give you a kiss, and I'll see you in the morning. Come here and give me a hug." Tobias lifts him from his booster seat, gives him a big hug and kiss, and then sets him on his feet. "I'll be home soon."

"Love you," I say.

"Love you," Tyler mimics.

"I love you both," he says as he starts out the door then he turns and looks at Tessa who has her eyes on him. "I love you, too, Pebbles."

"She loves you," I say. "You better go. You're going to be late." After a final goodbye, he locks the door behind him. "What would you like to do tonight, Tyler?"

"Play game?"

"Sure," I say. "You pick one out. I'm going to go upstairs and get your sister's bouncy seat. I'll be right back." When I come back downstairs, Tyler has his match game out. I move Tessa from the swing to her bouncy seat so she's right in on all the action without trying to grab the cards. "That's a good game you picked out. It's your favorite, right?"

"Yeah," he says. He's smiling but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. I set the game up and after a couple rounds I try to get the reason for his bad mood out of him.

"Did you have fun at daycare with your friends today?"

"Zane go'd home," he sadly says as he turns over matching cards with red trucks on them. "He sick."

"I'm sorry," I say. "I didn't know that. Did you play with Emma, Mia, and Elliott the rest of the day?"

"They go'd home at lunch," he says with a frown.

"Is that why you were so sad, all your friends went home and you had no one to play with?"

"I played with Bobby but, Mommy, he mean," he says. "I no like him." _Bobby!_ What the hell has that little brat done to my son this time?

"Did he say something to you again?"

"No, he just mean," he says, his eyes wide. "He take my book away."

"I'm sorry, buddy," I say. "He shouldn't have done that. What did you do?"

"I got 'nother book."

"That was very grow up of you," I say. "Did you say anything to Mrs. Wheeler?"

"No. She not thewe," he says. "I miss Zane."

"Well, I'm sorry you had a bad day," I say. "Why didn't you tell me when I asked what was wrong earlier?" He shrugs his shoulders before making another match. "Tyler, you can talk to me about anything. I'll always be here for you. I'll always be on your side."

"I know," he says. Tessa yawns wide then bursts out crying. Tyler bounces her seat and says, "Sshh. You no have to cwy."

"Not so hard, buddy," I say and he stops. "Like this." I show him how to gently bounce her seat, and she falls to sleep within minutes. "Thanks, buddy. I think it's time to get ready for bed. Let's take your sister upstairs and put her in her crib then you can take a bath."

"Otay," he excitedly says.

"Will you put the game away then come upstairs?"

"Otay, Mommy," he says. I carefully lift Tessa out of the bouncy seat without waking her and carry her upstairs and put her to bed. When I come out of her room, I expect Tyler to be close by but I don't see him.

"Tyler?" I call out.

"Yeah?" he says from the bathroom. I never thought about the bathroom because the light's out. When I flip it on, I have to laugh. He's sitting in the bathtub without a stich of clothes on. He must really want his bath.

"Are you ready for your bath, buddy?" I ask and he nods at me. I turn the water on first to a slow trickle so the cold water doesn't splash on him and get it to the desired temperature then proceed to fill the tub. After washing him and his hair, I sit beside the tub and let him play. He has such a brilliant imagination. I think that comes from when he lived with the factionless and had to play by himself. I don't let myself think of the life he used to live for very long because it depresses me. I silently thank God that I'm his mother now and that no one can ever take him away from us ever again. Water hits me in the face, and Tyler starts laughing near hysterics. "Did you do that on purpose, you little monster?"

"It funny," he says, still laughing. His angelic giggle is contagious, and I can't help but laugh with him.

"Are you ready to get out?" I ask after the water starts cooling off.

"Yeah," he says. "I cold."

"I bet you are." I flip the switch on the plug and the water starts swirling down the drain. I get to my knees and help him out of the tub then wrap a big fluffy towel around his shivering body. "You should have told me you were cold. I hope you don't get sick, too."

"I was havin' fun," he says matter-of-factly.

"Of course, you were," I say. Once I get him all dried off, I make him go potty then I help him into a new pair of firetruck pajamas. He outgrew his old ones. He keeps telling me he's not ready for bed even though he's yawning almost nonstop. "How about we rock for a little bit then you'll have to go to bed, okay?"

"Otay," he says around another big yawn. I sit in his rocking chair, and he climbs up onto my lap. After getting him situated just right, he falls asleep almost immediately. _Maybe this wasn't such a good idea_. I should have laid down with him in his bed or mine. Hopefully, Tobias will be home soon. Unfortunately, he isn't home when Tessa starts whining. I very carefully get up and carry Tyler to his bed and tuck him in.

I kiss his head and whisper in his ear, "I love you. Sleep well, my little guy." I go across the hall and find Tessa lying on her tummy crying. I look at the clock and realize that I must have dozed in Tyler's room because it's nearly midnight. I pick her up and sit in her rocking chair. She latches on the moment my breast is within her reach, and she suckles greedily. My poor girl. "How long have you been crying, little one? Mommy's sorry." As she eats, I wonder where Tobias is. The funerals couldn't have taken this long, could they? I hope everything is okay. In his defense, he did say that he might be late tonight but I still worry.

When I finish nursing Tessa, I change her diaper and put her back in bed then find my phone. Tobias called a couple times while I was giving Tyler his bath and finally left me a message telling me he's going to be late. Apparently there was a lot of drinking at the funerals and several fights broke out and everyone was just being rowdy. I remember practically every member of Dauntless being drunk the day of Al's funeral. That's one thing I don't like about my chosen faction. Dauntless uses every kind of event as an excuse to drink.

I decide on a quick shower since both kids are sound asleep in hopes that it will relax me. This is the first time in a long time that Tobias and I have been apart for this length of time, and I'm missing him terribly. By the time I get out and dried off, I'm feeling sluggish and am having a hard time keeping my eyes open. As soon as my head hits my pillow though, I wake up. I toss and turn wishing that Tobias was beside me. If he were, I wouldn't be having this trouble. About an hour later I hear lethargic footsteps on the stairs, and my heart starts beating rapidly in my chest.

"Tobias?" I ask.

"Yeah. It's me," he says, his words slurring from exhaustion. "Why aren't you asleep?"

"I couldn't sleep without you here," I say. He strips out of his clothes and slides in between the sheets.

"It was hell night," he says. "Lots of fights and injuries. People were acting like it was the old Dauntless."

"Baby, you're exhausted," I say, caressing his head, which is lying on my chest. Apparently, my bare breasts are softer than his pillow. He snuggles into me and wraps his body around mine. He mutters incoherently, and I know he's on the verge of passing out. "We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow. Sleep now, Tobias. We'll talk in the morning." I run my fingers unhurriedly through his hair enjoying the calming effect his body has on mine. I can actually feel my body falling asleep. I turn my head and see his eyes are now closed, his mouth is slightly open, and his entire body is relaxed. "I love you, Tobias Eaton. Sleep well, my love."


	44. Chapter 44

Tobias, Brody, and I pull up in front of the Merciless Mart in Candor about 15 minutes before Brody's informal interrogation under truth serum is set to begin. Even though I have complete confidence that he did absolutely nothing wrong, this will let us know for sure, unless he's Divergent and can fight the truth serum but that seems unlikely to me. Tobias arranged for Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo to pick up Ana just after we left the training room and escort her here via train. She should arrive just before his interview gets underway, and I will admit I'm looking forward to seeing what it is that those two are hiding. The drive over was quiet and awkward. Brody broodingly stared out the window the entire time not saying a word, and because of his sour mood, Tobias and I didn't talk much either.

"Are you ready for this?" Tobias asks Brody after we get out of the car.

"I don't know," he says.

"Let me give you some advice," I say. "Four and I both have been where you're standing. Don't fight the serum. Answer immediately. If you stall for whatever reason…"

"You'll feel like you're on fire," Tobias finishes for me, looking at his watch. "We better get inside." We go through the large glass door and walk into the well-lit lobby.

"Beatrice?" I turn toward the sound of my name and find Peter's mother, Ruth, sitting behind the reception desk with a warm smile on her face. She looks a lot different than she did the last time I saw her. She's no longer the beaten down, timid woman she once was. There's an air of newly found confidence about her. It's showcased in the sharp business suit she's wearing and the shorter pixie cut in her shiny red hair. She looks like a brand new woman.

"Ruth, how nice to see you again," I say.

"It's so nice to see you," she says, getting up from her seat and walking around the desk. "You are just glowing. How are you and the baby doing?" For all the unforgivably cruel things that Peter did to me, he was just as heartless to his mother. To give her the hopes of having a grandchild when he knew it wasn't true is inexcusable.

"We're both doing very well," I say, returning her hug. "I'm getting closer to my due date. Only 11½ weeks to go."

"I hate to interrupt but we have an interrogation to get to," Tobias says not unkindly. We both know that Ruth had nothing to do with Peter's deception. "We don't want to be late."

"Of course. When I saw you, I wanted to make sure I said hello," she says. "I go to lunch at noon. If you're still here and would like to join me, I'll be in the cafeteria."

"Thank you for the invitation," I say. "We'll have to see how the interviews go. It was nice seeing you."

"Interviews?" Brody asks as we walk over to the elevators. I wondered if he would catch that slip.

"Yes," I say. "There will be two truth serum interrogations today." We step onto the elevator, and I hit the button for the third floor.

"Does it have anything to do with Sam's death?"

"I don't think so but we don't really know," I say. "Once the interviews are concluded, I'm confident we'll have some answers." _I hope._ We step off the elevator, and Tobias expertly leads us through the identical-looking monochromatic hallways like he belongs here to Dauntless' holding room, which is empty. "Go ahead and take a seat on the bench, Brody. We'll be starting shortly."

"If it's okay with you, I think I'll stand," he says, looking very nervous. I get dizzy watching him pace from corner to corner.

"You should sit down, love," Tobias says just as the door squeaks open, which makes all three of us turn and look.

"Hello, Four," Jack says as he walks into the holding room flanked by Niles and an unfamiliar short, wide, auburn-haired man. They each shake Tobias' hand then Jack looks my way. "You're looking well, Tris. When are you due again?"

"October 9," I say as my hands automatically cover my swollen abdomen.

"You're in the home stretch then," he says. "I remember those days well with my wife. Enjoy each day to the fullest. With three kids 2 and under, you probably won't sleep again for a while after the baby comes."

"Thanks for the advice, Jack," I say.

"Anytime," he says then he turns our attention to the stranger in the room. "I would like to introduce you to Kent Nelson, Candor's newest leader." He stares at us like he's sizing us up then gives us an impassive smile. "Kent, this is Four and Tris, two of Dauntless' leaders."

"It's nice to meet you," he says.

"I had planned to view the interrogation but Kent and I have some business to attend to so I'm going to leave you in Niles capable hands," Jack says. "Since Tori requested an informal interrogation, you may ask the questions once Niles administers the serum." He shakes Tobias' hand again then slaps him on the back amiably. "If you need anything at all from me, please don't hesitate to have Niles give me a call. Although I have other business to take care of, I'm still available if need be."

"We appreciate you allowing us to do this informally, Jack," I say. "If we need you, we'll be sure to let Niles know."

"Okay," he says. "Well, we'll be leaving you now." We watch Jack and Kent leave the holding room then turn our attention to Brody. I really don't want to start Brody's interview until Ana is here but we might have to. When the door sounds again, Brody's face falls and I know that she's here now.

"Thanks, Simon, Tony," Tobias says. "You can go back to Dauntless. We'll bring Ana back with us."

"What's she doing here?" Brody nervously asks. "She doesn't have anything to do with this. Why is she here? Why are you here, Ana?"

"I have no idea, Brody," she softly says, obviously embarrassed. "Not two minutes after you left with Four and Tris the big guys came in and marched me out of the training room and brought me here but they wouldn't tell me why."

"You two are keeping a secret," I say, "and we want to know what it is. There's something you need to know about us, we don't like being lied to. Ana, you will be going under truth serum this morning also." Her eyes widen as I talk but then she almost looks relieved. I wonder what that's about.

"Brody, please sit down on the bench," Tobias says. "Once the serum is administered you won't be able to stand."

"Everyone keeps saying this is informal, why's that?" he grumbles as he sits down on the low bench. "It doesn't seem that way to me." I thought his mood was bad before but it's gotten far worse since Ana was brought in.

"I can answer that," Niles says while he slowly paces in front of him, arrogant as ever. "First of all, we wouldn't be here in Dauntless' holding room; we would be in the interrogation room in front of an audience consisting of members from all five factions. Secondly, I would be the one asking the questions instead of Four and Tris."

"O … kay," he says.

"Is everyone ready to begin?" Niles asks and we all nod. I notice that Brody's determined air is back, and Ana is looking close to panic. I wonder what we'll learn from these two and what they'll learn about each other. I hope they truly are ready. "Alright then." Niles puts the small black box he has tucked under his arm down on the bench beside Brody, fishes out an alcohol swab, and hands it to him. Brody looks back at him confused. "Please use that to sterilize the left side of your neck." Brody tears open the small square package, takes the alcohol-soaked pad out, and thoroughly wipes off the side of his neck. Niles lifts one of the two large syringes out of the box, places it against Brody's neck, and presses the plunger sending the serum into his body. Just like with every other person, he slumps against the wall within a minute. "He's all yours, Four."

"Thanks, Niles," he says. "Brody, even though this is an informal interrogation, we're going to keep the questions formal. I need you to state your full name for me."

"Brody Alan Adams." He looks up at Tobias with the typical confusion on his face.

"Where were you born?" Tobias asks.

"I was born in Erudite," he says, surprising us all.

"You were born in Erudite?" I ask, unable to hide my shock.

"Yes," he says.

"When did you become factionless?" I ask.

"My mom was kicked out of Erudite just before my fifth birthday, and we became factionless."

"What are your parents' names?" Tobias asks.

"Brenda Adams is my mother's name," he says. "Clark Adams is my stepfather's name." He pauses and cringes at the same time. "I don't know my birth father's name. She never told me. I begged but she wouldn't tell me."

"When did you meet Faith?"

"Mom took me to meet her on my fifth birthday," Brody says. "We instantly became best friends. We stayed with her and her mom from then on, a family of sorts."

"What made you join Dauntless?" he asks.

"I remember what it was like to live in a faction." He pauses and his face contorts with pain. "I was angry at my mom for making me factionless. I liked living in Erudite. When I found out that the council was allowing factionless 16 year olds to go through the choosing process I actually got excited. I talked Faith into doing it with me. I was surprised when we both tested with the aptitude for Dauntless. That's what made me join Dauntless."

"Did you kill Sam?" Tobias asks.

"No. I did not."

"Do you know who killed Sam?"

"No," he replies.

"Were you surprised to find out that Sam was murdered?" he asks.

"Yes," Brody says. "She didn't deserve that."

"Where did you go after you left our apartment the morning Sam was killed?" Tobias asks.

"I went to the net."

"Were you with anyone?" Brody grimaces when he pauses again, and he starts shaking his head.

"Just tell them, Brody," Ana says from the end of the bench. He turns his head in the direction of her voice but his eyes don't focus on her.

"Ana, please don't interrupt," I say.

"I was with Ana," he says, blowing out the breath he was holding.

"Why did you tell us you were alone at the net?" he asks.

"I was protecting her," Brody says. "I thought I might have run out of chances and that you were going to send me back to the factionless sector. As much of a pain in the ass Ana is, I didn't want to get her into trouble. I don't think she would survive on the streets." She gasps at his words, although I'm not entirely sure why. It could be the announcement that he thinks she's a pain in the ass or the fact that he wanted to protect her. Tobias looks at me.

"I think we have everything we need from him," I say.

"So do I," he says then looks at Niles. "Do you have any other questions for him?"

"Not unless you want to ask him what his greatest regret is."

"My biggest regret is not protecting Faith. You see, it wasn't Sam's fault that Faith died; it was mine," Brody says surprising us once again. We all know that her death was an unfortunate accident that was unavoidable. "She was having headaches, but I didn't insist she go to the doctor. If I had, she might still be with me today. It wasn't Sam's fault. It was mine."

"Niles, do you have the antidote?" I ask. He nods and retrieves it from the black box then administers it to Brody. Immediately his eyes clear then he looks guilty.

"Ana, it's your turn," I say.

"Does she have to?" Brody asks.

"I'm afraid so," Tobias says. "We need her to corroborate your story under truth serum. Let this be a lesson to always tell us the truth in the future. If you had done that in the first place then all of this might not have been necessary."

"Ana, I'm sure you could tell by Brody's actions that the truth serum can be quite brutal," I say. "I'll give you the same advice I gave him. Don't fight its effects and answer immediately. If you follow these instructions, you shouldn't feel the adverse effects. Okay?"

"It's okay, Tris," she says. "I know about truth serum even though I've never been subjected to it. It honestly is one of the reasons I left Candor." Sometimes I forget she grew up here. She doesn't have the same cutthroat nature most ex-Candor have. I can tell she's trying to be brave but her whole body is trembling. I take a step closer to her and put my hand on her shoulder.

"You'll be just fine," I say. "Just take a couple deep breaths then we'll get started. I've been where you're standing. You can do this." I squeeze her shoulder in a show of confidence then step back to Tobias' side. She takes a couple deep breaths while she nervously watches Brody as he totally comes out from under the effects of the serum.

"I'm ready," she says.

"Okay," I say. "Niles." He picks up an alcohol swab and hands it to Ana. She sweeps her long dark auburn hair over her right shoulder, exposing the left side of her neck then wipes it off with the little pad. She tosses the trash in the small bin Niles holds up in front of her then wrings her hands together nervously. Niles injects the truth serum into her neck then turns the floor over to us.

"Ana, I need you to state your full name for me," Tobias says.

"Ana Marie Latham."

"What faction were you born in?"

"Candor," she says, typical confusion evident on her face.

"What faction did you choose?" he asks.

"Dauntless," Ana proudly says.

"What are your parents' names?" Tobias asks.

"James and Sandra Latham." She sounds wistful when she says their names.

"What is your relationship with Brody?"

"Um," she says. When she pauses, she doesn't seem to be in any pain; she just seems to be even more confused than she was before. "We don't have a relationship."

"Are you friends?" he asks.

"Not yet but I hope to be," Ana quietly says, embarrassment showing on her red face.

"Why were you with Brody after curfew the night Faith died first outside the compound and then later at the net when you knew these actions could cause you to be thrown out of Dauntless?" I ask.

"I know what he's going through, and he shouldn't be alone right now," she says, a sadness to her voice. "He needs friends right now more than ever."

"What do you mean you know what I'm going through?" Brody interjects.

"I lost my twin sister, Ava, almost three years ago. She was sick for a very long time. I was lost for so long after she died. I felt like a huge part of me was missing. Honestly, I still feel that way some days. I shut everyone out: my parents, my friends, those who were trying desperately to help me. It took a long time for me to realize that Ava wouldn't want me to stop living just because she did."

"Brody, please don't interrupt again," Tobias says. "Ana, why did you follow Brody outside Monday night?"

"I recognized myself in Brody when he learned about Faith's death. I didn't care about the consequences, I just wanted to help him."

"Why didn't you go back to the dorms when Four and I told you to?" I ask.

"He might not know it but he needs me," she says, blushing again. She hasn't said it outright but she likes him.

"Let's take this a different direction," Tobias says. "What was your relationship with Sam?"

"We grew up together," she says. "I've known her my entire life but we weren't exactly friends."

"Where were you when Sam died?" he asks.

"I don't know," Ana says.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Tobias asks.

"I don't know when she died so I can't tell you where I was." Makes sense.

"She died between the hours of 3:30 and 5:30 a.m. Tuesday morning," I say.

"I was with Brody at the net," she says.

"Did you kill Sam?" Tobias asks.

"No, I did not," Ana emphatically says, sounding affronted.

"Do you know who killed her?" he asks.

"No." Strange. Her denial sounds a little off.

"Do you have a theory as to who might have wanted her dead?" I ask.

"You might want to talk to Jesse and Grant. They seemed to have it in for her." Tobias and I look at each other. _The bitch's minions?_ Does she have something to do this? Why? I saw very little interaction between Sam and Olivia, Grant, and Jesse.

"Why do you say that?"

"I really don't have any details. They just seemed to hate her with a passion. I could be wrong though. I don't want to get anyone in trouble who doesn't deserve it."

"Thank you for your honesty, Ana," Tobias says. "Any questions, Niles?"

"No, Four," he says.

"You can administer the anti-serum," he says. We watch as he brings Ana back then Tobias turns his back on everyone and looks down at me. "Would you like to have lunch with Ruth?"

"I don't know," I say. "I really like her but…"

"She reminds you of him," he says, finishing my sentence.

"Yeah," I say. "Even though I feel bad for her, she was his victim, too, I see him in her, and I really don't want to be reminded of Peter Hayes. I've just gotten to the point where things don't remind me of him on a daily basis. I can actually walk into the training room and feel comfortable. I don't want that peace taken away from me."

"You don't have to explain," he says. "I understand. If you don't want to see her or are not ready yet, then don't. I just thought you looked pleased to see her."

"I like her," I admit. "I really, _really_ like her. I was happy when I saw her. She's always treated me well but it doesn't change things. Not yet."

"I'm sorry I brought it up," he says.

"Don't apologize. It's okay," I say lightly touching his arm. "I think we should get back to Dauntless. If we leave now, we can have a quick lunch and then have these two back for the afternoon in the training room."

"Sounds like a plan," he says then he turns back around and looks at Brody and Ana who are sitting about as far apart as the bench will allow. I think they're both embarrassed by some of the details revealed here today. "Let's go, you two. When we get back to Dauntless, we'll grab some lunch then head to the training room for fight training. There's another round of practice fights tomorrow that you need to prepare for."

"Thank you, Niles, for the assistance today," I say, holding my hand out to him. He takes it, and we shake amiably. "We appreciate it."

"It was no problem," he stiffly says. "It was nice seeing you again." Something tells me he just doesn't mean that.

"Come on, Tris," Tobias says, gently placing his hand on my sore back and leading me out into the hallway. I make a quick stop at the bathroom that sits just off the elevator and silently wish that we didn't have anyone with us. There's just something about Candor bathrooms. We make it out of the Merciless Mart without running into Ruth so I don't have to make up an excuse as to why we're leaving.

I watch Brody and Ana as they're quietly talking in the backseat of our car. They seem to have a newfound closeness, sharing a bond not many others have experienced. Callen knows what Brody's going through right now, too, but it isn't my place to share that with them.

"Why didn't you say anything about your sister, Ana?" I ask.

"I think about her a lot but talking about her hurts," she says. "So I tried to leave that pain in Candor with my old life."

"We always carry pieces of our old life into our new whether we mean to or not," I say.

"Said like a transfer," Brody says, obviously fishing for information.

"Yes, I was a transfer," I say but I don't elaborate as to where I came from. I'm entitled to my secrets. After I'm quiet for a while, they know I'm not going to say anymore, and we have a silent ride back to Dauntless.


	45. Chapter 45

The young woman gazing back at me in the full-length mirror has changed so much over the past year. I no longer look like the shy, skinny, little girl from Abnegation. I'm a full two inches taller, and my body is leaner and more muscular ... well except for my hugely pregnant belly. My face is a little fuller making my nose no longer look as long and thin as it once did. My wide, round eyes are bright and excited by what life has to offer. I look like a strong, vibrant wife, mother, lover, friend, and leader. I look Dauntless.

It's hard to believe that yet another visiting day is here. I remember being so excited and nervous all at the same this time last year. I didn't know if I would see my mom or dad but I hoped and prayed that I would. My prayers were answered when my mother visited, and thankfully she did. We stopped a war. Today, I don't have the same dread or anticipation since I can see my parents whenever I want. As a matter of fact, I can't wait for initiation to be over so we can go to Abnegation for a visit. It hasn't been that long since we saw them at the park but a visit feels long overdue.

It's been 10 days since Tobias and I went to Candor to witness Brody and Ana's truth serum interviews. We didn't announce to the other initiates that Brody is not a suspect in Sam's death upon our return; we just let the fact that he's still participating in initiation be the corroboration they need. Thankfully, we have had no additional problems. As a matter of a fact, it's been rather quiet the past week-and-a-half. Maybe too quiet. We still have a murderer wandering around Dauntless.

The investigation into Sam's death has had no new leads and, unfortunately, come to a standstill. As a matter of fact the only thing we have is a dark figure skulking through Dauntless around the time of her death, which may or may not be related. Zeke found him or her on surveillance at several points throughout the Pit and along the path but whoever it was disappeared just as quickly as they appeared.

Initiation is going well. Thankfully, the physical part ended yesterday with the final round of fights, which went as expected. Brody and Grant had a rematch, and it lasted a full 45 minutes. At one point, Tobias thought about stopping it but then he thought twice about it and decided that they weren't being reckless, they were just giving the fight their all. In the end, Brody edged out Grant when he knocked him to the mat and he just stayed there. After a couple seconds, he lifted his head and said no more. Bethany and Sadie's fight was evenly matched. After about 30 minutes Sadie couldn't take anymore and conceded the bout. Of all the misfits, Alec has to be the most improved. After losing his first three matches, he turned it around and won his last four. But I think the biggest surprise of the day was when Murphy took out Kevin within minutes. She must pack one hell of a punch. One minute he's dancing around the mat with her and the next she had him laid out, unconscious. Ana easily won her match against Zoey. Brody has been working with her, and it's made a huge difference. She was matched against Alec a few days ago and actually gave him a run for his money but in the end he knocked her out and Brody anxiously carried her to the infirmary but she was fine.

Brody and Ana have become a lot closer since Faith and Sam's deaths. It's hard to tell if their relationship is just a deep friendship or if it's a budding romance but there's one thing I know, they're together all the time. At first he looked annoyed by her constant companionship but now it seems like he welcomes it. It will be interesting to see what develops between the two. A relationship that is clear in nature is Bethany and Alec's who have also become a lot closer since Faith and Sam died. I've seen them holding hands and stealing kisses when they don't think anyone is watching. Another couple who has surprised me is Murphy and Kevin. I thought she would pine away for Galen because of her actions early on in initiation but she seems to be over him and moving on. I first noticed that they seem to be more than friends last Sunday when we went to the park for team elimination paint ball. Where one goes, the other follows closely behind.

Paintball was fun but it would have been a lot more enjoyable if I could have played with our team instead of being in charge of our dead area, which consisted of me sitting on a chair holding an unfired paint gun for about four hours. I found it to be a lot like capture the flag. We had even numbers of members, transfers, and Dauntless-borns split into two teams but instead of trying to find a flag, the object of the game was to eliminate all the players on the opposing team without getting hit by paintballs yourself. It was a great team-building exercise and since everyone, initiates and members alike, had such a great time it is going to remain a regular initiation activity in the future.

Tobias and I are basically off today and tomorrow to give the initiates time before fear simulation practice begins on Monday morning, which is good. I'm in desperate need of some downtime. If I had known that I was going to be pregnant during initiation, I never would have agreed to be Tobias' partner. Initiation is thoroughly exhausting both physically and mentally. We're going to the Pit for a few hours this morning for visiting day but then we don't have to be anywhere until right before supper when we're due in the dorms to tell the initiates what their rankings are, not that it matters. There won't be any cuts. They will all be good Dauntless members.

"Penny for your thoughts, beautiful," Tobias says as he wraps his arms around my waist, startling me. I had no idea he was standing directly behind me. "What were you just thinking about? You were so far away. I said your name twice and you still didn't hear me."

"Since when is my name beautiful?" I tease, turning in his arms to look up into the striking blue eyes that render me weak in the knees.

"Beautiful Beatrice," he whispers as he leans over and places his lips on mine for a tender kiss. He contentedly sighs as we part. "That sounds like a wonderful name to me. So where were you?"

"I was just thinking about initiation," I say. "I'm glad that the physical part is over."

"Me too," he says.

"I'm exhausted, Tobias," I say with a sigh. "I had no idea how taxing this would be for me."

"Are you sure you want to spend all day in the simulation room for the rest of the training? I can have Uriah or Christina help me, and you can start your maternity leave early." We decided that Tobias and I would run the practice simulations and Uriah and Christina would handle the fear landscape practice and the finals but his offer is mighty tempting.

"I need to work; I _want_ to," I say. "Plus if I'm with you all day, every day, I'll be fine. Hey, can you have my chair taken to the simulation room?"

"Already done," he says. _Of course, it is!_

"Thank you," I say. "I'm sorry I've been grouchy lately. I know I have to be difficult to live with right now." I'm two weeks into my third trimester and, I could be wrong, but I've noticed a difference in my mood already. The baby hormones are back big time, as is the irrationality that accompanies them. Then again they never totally went away. We've had two fights over the toilet seat this week, and I anticipate many more remembering my first trimester. I better not dwell on that thought right now or I might end up pissed off at him for no reason at all.

"You've been grouchy?" he says deadpan serious. I put my hands on my hips and look at him. I know he's trying to make me feel better but irrational tears form in my eyes. He sighs as he wraps his arms around me and pulls me close. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm sorry, Tobias," I say. I rest my head over his beating heart and feel sanity slowly return to me. "Pregnancy sucks." He doesn't say anything, he just continues to hold me.

"We should probably get going to the cafeteria," he says after a while. "We don't want Tyler seeing anything that Gunner is working on." Gunner finally got started on Tyler's room yesterday in the new apartment. Tobias and I decided to be surprised alongside Tyler so we didn't go look at what he's accomplished so far. He did tell us that he plans on being done in two weeks not only with Tyler's room but the murals also, which just happens to fall on a day off. I can't wait to move in to the new place. I'm going to miss this apartment but the new one will feel like home in no time. I'm just glad we'll be in and settled before Peanut arrives.

"Okay," I say. "I'll grab Tessa and you get Tyler." I step away from him but he pulls me back into his arms.

"Have I told you that I love you this morning?" he asks as he gently glides the back of his fingertips from my temple to my chin with a loving touch.

"Yes, you have but I wouldn't mind hearing it again," I say.

"I love you, Mrs. Eaton," he says, an intense passion shining in his eyes. "Very much."

"I love you, too, Mr. Eaton," I say. "More every day." He moves his mouth to mine and before we can get carried away, a little giggle from the doorway captures our attention. Tobias releases me and grabs Tyler and tosses him over his shoulder, making him laugh even louder.

"Are you ready for breakfast, buddy?" he asks.

"Yep," Tyler says. "I'm hungwy."

"We'll meet you downstairs, Mommy," Tobias says as he heads toward the door. Tyler waves at me with a huge smile on his face as they walk down the hallway. I start into Tessa's room then remember that I was going to put my charm bracelet on today and go to our dresser. I rummage through my top drawer where the box usually is but it's not there. I open the next drawer where the rest of my jewelry is and find the box sitting on top. Hhm. I don't remember moving it but then again I can't remember the last time I wore it. I flip the lid on the box and take the delicate bracelet out and put it on. I take a couple seconds to look over my charms, cherishing each memory then go into Tessa's room. She fell back to sleep after I nursed her earlier but she's lying on her back now, wide awake.

"Hey, little one," I say, lifting her from the crib. "Mommy couldn't find her bracelet. Are you ready to go?" She smiles at me like she understands exactly what I'm saying, and I can't help but give her a kiss. She coos all the way down the stairs and smiles at Tobias and Tyler who are patiently waiting for us by the door. "Sorry it took me so long. I had trouble finding my bracelet but I'm ready to go now." I hold my arm up, and Tessa stares at the dangling charms then raises her hand toward them. "Oh, no you don't. These could make you choke." I throw her diaper bag over my shoulder as Tobias picks up her stroller then we head out the door. We step into the hallway and run directly into Will and Christina.

"Hey, guys," Christina says. "Are you ready for visiting day?"

"Yeah," I say.

"Are you ready to give the initiates a pep talk about their families?" Tobias asks. Instead of reminding the initiates of faction before blood in a threatening way like Eric did with us last year, Uriah and Christina are going to tell the initiates to have a good time this morning and to not take it too hard if their families don't show. I anticipate visitors for everyone except for maybe Brody but I could be wrong. The rules have eased some about fraternization between factions but faction before blood is still a founding principal of our city and is taken seriously, especially by the older generations.

"Yeah, Uriah and I are going to try and not freak them out like Eric did with us," she says as we move down the path closer to the Pit. "You look tired, Tris."

"I'm exhausted actually," I say. "I'm looking forward to our time off so I can rest."

"Let me know when you need some time off and I'll help Four out in the simulation room whether it's for a couple of hours or a couple of days."

"Thanks. That's so nice of you," I say. "I'll let you know if I need to take you up on your offer."

"So other than tired, how are you feeling?" she asks.

"Excited, nervous, anxious," I say. "I'm counting down the days until I get to meet the baby. Isobel has me coming to see her every two weeks now instead of once a month. She's still worried about my blood pressure. It elevated some since I went back to work but it's not as high as it was. At least I don't have to be on bed rest."

"That had to suck, especially with two small children," she says.

"It did but I'll do anything for this special little girl." I move one hand down and lovingly caress my swollen abdomen. "She means the world to me."

"I understand," she says, throwing her arm around my shoulder and hugging me. "How did your dinner with Isobel and her husband go last weekend?" Tobias and I finally found the time to get together with Isobel and Carter last Sunday night after being in the park all day with the initiates.

"We had a wonderful time," I say. "We left the kids with Zander and Stella and met Isobel and her husband, Carter, at the Italian restaurant downtown. We talked and laughed throughout the entire meal. For being a doctor he wasn't pretentious or snobbish. He spoke on our level, and we had a lot in common. He's hilarious. He had us in stiches most of the evening. After we ate, we stopped at the ice cream parlor next door for cones then took a walk. It really was a lovely evening but we stayed out too long considering we had to be in the training room the next morning. I think my body is still trying to catch up."

"I'm glad you had a good time," she says, sounding like she honestly means it. I was afraid that she would be jealous of my friendship with Isobel but it doesn't seem like the case. "I meant to ask you, what in the world are they doing in your new apartment? There was all kind of noise until sundown." Tyler's ears perk up at this question.

"Gunner is installing some furniture," I say.

"Mine?" he excitedly asks, interrupting me.

"Yes, your room is one of his projects," I tell him and he smiles from ear to ear. He's been talking nonstop about his new room since we told him we were moving. I turn back to Christina and say, "He's also doing some decorative painting. He told me we should be able to start moving in in two weeks."

"That's exciting," Christina says.

"I can't wait," I say. "I'll miss the old place but I'm looking forward to growing our family in the new one."

"Are you going to have a housewarming party when you get settled?"

"That sounds like fun," I say. "What do you think, Four?"

"Think about what?" Tobias asks with genuine confusion on his face. He must have been deep in conversation with Will.

"I'm sorry for interrupting," I say. "What do you think about having a little get together on our rooftop deck when we get settled into our new apartment?"

"That's probably too much work for you," he says, always the worrier.

"Nonsense," I say.

"That's right," Christina says. "I'll help you with anything you need, Tris. We could even have it catered, which would be the most time consuming issue."

"How about we discuss it later?" Tobias asks as we walk into the cafeteria.

"Okay," I say. We sit down at our regular table, which is surprisingly mostly empty, and Tobias and Tyler go to get us each a plate. "Do you think you'll see your mom and Rose today?"

"I think they'll come to see Liam," she says with a laugh. "I don't really rate with them anymore since he was born, especially with my mom. For giving me such a rough time when I told her I was pregnant, she fawns over him."

"Apparently becoming a grandmother changes a woman," I say thinking about how much my own mother has changed since Tyler and Tessa came into her life. A warm smile transforms my face and a deep loving feeling fills my heart.

"You are so right," she says. "Who knew that the straight-laced, uptight woman who raised me could be transformed into a big ball of goo just by looking into a baby's face? It's kind of comical."

"What's so funny?" Tobias asks as he sets a plate full of blueberry pancakes topped with blueberry compote and whipped cream and two large spicy-smelling sausage patties.

"Thank you," I say. "Christina and I were talking about how much the kids have changed our moms."

"Mine, too," Will says. "She used to be even more uptight before Liam was born if you can believe that."

"I wish she'd mellow out even more," Christina mumbles under her breath with a scowl on her face. Maybe I'm not the only one who doesn't like her mother-in-law.

"Hey, little bro," Zeke says ruffling his hand in Uriah's hair as he sits down next to him. "You guys ready for visiting day?" The rest of the meal I listen to everyone at the table talking about visiting day during their initiation. There is laughter and soberness in the many stories. Just before 8 a.m., Tobias and I excuse ourselves from the table and take the kids to the daycare center. After kissing them goodbye, we make our way onto the Pit floor where we see people wearing blue, black and white, and red and yellow trickle into the sea of black. A twinge of disappointment twists my stomach when I don't see any gray. Until right now, I didn't know I was hoping to see my mom and dad today.

After saying hello to numerous Dauntless members standing around the Pit, we make our way to the chasm. We lean up against the railing and watch the reunions playing out in front of us. Sadie hugs an older woman who looks just like her and dutifully ignores a young boy who looks like he wants to be anywhere but here. He obviously is her little brother. I'm surprised to see Grant and Jesse talking to two older men who I've seen at Candor during public interrogations. Maybe I shouldn't be surprised. A lot of Candor members witness the interviews. Zoey runs over to a boy who looks to be a year or two younger and hugs him tightly. It looks like her parents didn't make it though. Kevin is animatedly talking with an older gentleman who is looking around the Pit with a mixed look of fascination and disgust on his face. A strong desire to wipe that expression off his face washes over me, and I turn my head toward some movement to my left. Alec is leaning up against the stone wall beside Bethany. They are searching the crowd with anxious eyes but obviously not liking what they see. Apparently, no one came to visit them.

"I'm looking for a Tris Prior," I hear someone say from about 15 feet away. I automatically turn when I hear my name and see a pink-haired Dauntless member point my way. I study the Candor man walking toward me, and I know I've seen him before but I can't quite place him. "You're Tris?" He looks surprised. "I think I spoke to you last year about my son." I go through my memories and nearly choke when I realize who he is.

"Hey, are you alright?" Tobias asks, noticing my sudden distress. His rough Four persona slips momentarily while his eyes flit from mine to the stranger before him and back.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I say to Tobias, trying to swallow with my suddenly dry throat. "Yes, I'm Tris. Four, this is Al's father. We met last year." He stands a little straighter and puts his arm protectively around my waist, pulling me closer to him.

"What can we do for you?" Tobias asks, anxiety in his voice.

"Don't worry, I know about Al," he says, a thick melancholy turning the sides of his mouth down. I study his face and realize he's aged drastically in the past year. I guess losing a child does that to you. I hope I never find out. "He sent me a letter before his death telling me and his mother goodbye. He also asked me to do something for him. He wanted me to give this to you today." He lifts his hand, and I notice an unopened plain white envelope with my name on the front. _A letter from Al?_ I start to lift my hand but notice it trembling so Tobias takes the letter from him for me.

"As you can see, my wife is pregnant, and she has had some complications. I'm not sure she should read this. I don't want her getting upset." Tobias' Four facade is back with a vengeance.

"I'm only fulfilling my son's last wish," he says. "I will leave it up to you, Tris, if you wish to read his letter or not. He wrote that you two were friends. Is that right?"

After a slight pause I say, "Yes." I hope my guilt isn't coming through in my voice. "We met on Choosing Day and were good friends until the stress of the second stage of training got to him then he pulled away."

"That's too bad," he says. "I wish he had been stronger. Well, I won't take up any more of your time today." He turns and walks away from us without another word. I stare at the envelope in Tobias' hand.

"Should I read it?" I ask, never taking my eyes off the letter. What in the world could it say?

"How about you read it when we get home," he says. "I don't want you getting stressed out, love. You know his death wasn't your fault." _Wasn't it?_

"Okay, I'll read it at home," I say. He kisses my temple as I see a streak of black run into the arms of a man wearing black and white and see that Bethany's family has made an appearance. That means Alec, Ana, and Brody are the only ones who haven't had family visit.

"Four, Tris?" Ana says. "Is it okay if I go back to the dorms?"

"Of course," I say, "but what if your mom and dad come and you aren't here. They would be disappointed."

"They're not coming," she sadly says. "They made it perfectly clear the night of my aptitude test that if I didn't stay in Candor that I was dead to them, too, so I've always known this day would be tough."

"I'm sure they didn't mean it," I say. I can't imagine telling your own child something that horrible. That's not my idea of a very good parent. "Maybe they just need some time."

"It's alright, Tris," she says. "You don't need to make excuses for them."

"Go ahead and go," Tobias says. "Don't forget to be in the dorms at 5:30 for reading of the rankings."

"I won't," she says. "Thanks." I watch as she walks across the crowded Pit floor to where Brody is waiting, and they both head toward the dorms. I notice a hand land on Tobias' shoulder, and we both turn and freeze.

"Hello, son."


	46. Chapter 46

This is a sight I never thought I would see in my entire life ... Marcus standing with Tobias in the Pit. I feel countless Dauntless eyes on us, evaluating the situation. Everyone knows I hail from Abnegation but there are still many who don't know Tobias' true identity, and he would like to keep it that way. I know that Marcus says he wants to make amends to Tobias but a visit on visiting day? What is he thinking showing up here like this, and why can't I shake the feeling this is all a colossal joke or a ploy in some grand scheme that he's cooking up? I just can't bring myself to trust him because of the hell he put Tobias through as a child and the hell he's put me through in the short time I've really known him. I'll probably never trust Marcus but he is Tobias' father, and if he decides to forgive him and have a relationship, then who am I to stand in his way.

"You look stunned to see me," Marcus says.

"I am," Tobias coldly says, sounding as shocked as I am to see his father standing before us. "What are you doing here?"

"I've always wanted to see the faction you call home," he says, mouth hanging open as he looks all around us, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings. "I've been in your office and your apartment but I haven't been any further. I thought today would be a good day to change that. This place is amazing, a bit intimidating but I guess it wouldn't be Dauntless if you didn't defy death on a daily basis." My eyes go to where his are watching a group of young preteens racing up the path, roughhousing along the way. One misstep could easily send one or all of them over the edge, plummeting to their death. Coming from Abnegation myself, I know what he's thinking right now but seeing children run along that edge without the benefit of a railing seems very natural now.

"It isn't as death defying as you would think," Tobias says. "Now that you've seen the compound, you can leave." Frustration contorts Marcus' face momentarily but I don't see the monster I usually see when he lets his guard down. Instead of contempt I see ... _sadness?_ No! I don't want to feel sorry for this man, the man who abused Tobias terribly, the man who was partially responsible for me almost being taken away from my family forever. I _refuse_ to feel sorry for him.

"I am trying, Four," he says with a sigh. Tobias' Dauntless name sounds so foreign and unnatural on his father's lips. I really don't like it. "I've admitted that I made mistakes in raising you. I've admitted that I was a horrible father. I'll admit now that you deserved so much better than your mother and me. You still do. I don't know how you turned into such a fine, outstanding young man." He takes a step closer to Tobias and I see him stiffen. "I don't expect you to run into my arms, embrace me, and tell me all is forgiven but can you at least try to move past it? I wish I could change what I did but I can't."

"I'm not sure I know what you want me to say," Tobias says, "and this really isn't the time or the place to discuss my childhood."

"What I want to hear is that you will allow me to show you that I've changed," Marcus says, somewhat exasperatedly. "That's all. I'd like for you to get to know the real me, and I'd like to get to know you. I would also like to be a part of my grandchildren's lives. Please try."

"The kids?" he says, sounding like the protective father he is. "I'm not sure about that. I will never allow them to be hurt by you or anyone else for that matter."

"You are very young so you've probably never considered having grandchildren but when it happens, it changes you. I wasn't expecting it; it actually snuck up on me but one day I woke up and realized I was never going to know Tyler and Tessa or the new baby," he points at my stomach, "and it made me very sad. I want to be a part of your life and your children's. I know I've done unspeakable things to you and Beatrice, and I deeply regret it. If you still want me to leave, I'll go. Just say the word." Silence stretches between the three of us as Tobias stares at his father.

"This isn't a decision I can make on my own because it directly impacts Tris and the kids," Tobias says. "We make all our decisions together. It wouldn't be fair to her."

"I understand," he says. "I'll go now."

"We'll give you a short tour of the compound then we'll walk you out," Tobias says.

"Do you mind if I go home and rest instead of tagging along?" I ask. I'm genuinely tired but I'd rather have Tobias throw knives at my head again than spend time with Marcus.

"I don't mind at all," he says, giving me a quick kiss.

"Have … fun?" I whisper. He looks down at me and to my surprise laughs his deep belly laugh I love so much.

"Thanks," he says. "You have a good nap. I'll be home after bit and cook us some lunch." As he turns to address his father, an odd look comes over his face. _I wonder what that's about._ "Here's Al's letter." He looks torn as he hands me the envelope. I take it with a thanks then look at Marcus.

"I'm going home to rest. Initiation has been exhausting for me," I say. "Enjoy the tour."

"I will," he says. "Thank you, Beatrice."

"Follow me," Tobias stiffly says. I can tell he's torn as about what to do. I watch them disappear into the growing crowd that has formed on the Pit floor then turn to go home and run directly into Ruth.

"Ruth! What are you doing here?" I ask, pleasantly surprised to see her. I've been feeling a bit guilty about my reaction to seeing her last week in Candor.

"I hope you don't mind but I came to see you," she says.

"Of course, I don't mind. Is everything okay?" I ask.

"Well, I was a bit nervous about just showing up without an invitation," she says. "You didn't seem very happy to see me the last time we ran into each other." I feel heat rise into my cheeks knowing that my insecurities showed through on our last meeting.

"I'm so sorry, Ruth," I guiltily say, unable to meet her eyes. "The last time we met, I looked at you and I saw Peter then everything he did came flooding back. I _hate_ thinking about him. I think I had convinced myself that I'm past what he did but in that moment the truth slapped me in the face … I'll never get past it, not really. It will always be a part of who I am." I finally raise my eyes to hers and see no contempt, no hatred, only worry and a deep thoughtful caring. "That's the reason why I didn't stay and have lunch with you. I was too much of a coward to face you and tell you what was going on. But the truth is, I know you are nothing like him. I've been wrestling with what to do this past week. I'm glad you came. I was just going home to rest. Would you like to join me for some coffee or tea?"

"I'd love to," she says with visible relief evident on her face. We make small talk on our trip from the Pit to the Pire. She asks about life in Dauntless, and I tell her all about it as I point out different highlights like the tattoo parlor and boutique along the way.

"Would you like coffee or tea?" I ask when we enter the apartment.

"Coffee if it's not too much trouble, please," she says as she looks around our living room.

"It's no trouble at all," I say. "You may sit anywhere you like. Please make yourself at home." I go into the kitchen and put Al's letter on the counter next to the sink then put a frozen blueberry coffeecake in the oven and start a fresh pot of coffee.

"You and Four have a lovely home," she says as she sits down on the loveseat so she can easily see into the kitchen. "I especially love the pictures. I can tell you have a very happy family."

"Yes, we are very happy and truly blessed," I say, glancing over at the new picture of Tobias, Tyler, Tessa, and me on the bookshelf next to the door that was taken at Will and Christina's wedding. I just displayed it earlier in the week, and it's quickly become my favorite. "How do you take your coffee?"

"Black," she says. I make myself a cup of tea with milk and sugar then pour her a cup of coffee and carry them into the living room.

"Here you go," I say, handing her the hot mug then sit down on the couch facing her. "We love this place but with the new baby coming soon Four and I decided that we need more space so we're moving down the hallway to a larger apartment. An artist we know from Amity is installing some furniture in Tyler's room and doing some decorative painting in the playroom and nursery. We should be able to move in in a little over two weeks. It's exciting and sad at the same time."

"A new home can definitely be exciting and stressful," she says. "I moved into a new apartment a couple weeks ago myself. I needed a fresh start. It's nice to sit down and not have bad memories bombard me everywhere I look."

"I didn't tell you last week but you look great," I say. "Is that a new haircut?"

"It is, thank you," she says with a blush coloring her cheeks. "After Porter's trial, I sulked for one week straight then decided that I needed to pick my head up and make a new life for myself."

"Have you always worked at your headquarters?" I ask.

"No, I had never worked before. Porter wouldn't allow it. He believed that a woman should be at home with the children," she says. _So that's where Peter got that prehistoric notion from, his idiotic father._ "A friend of mine helped me get the job, which I will forever be grateful for. It's given me so much self-confidence. Not only did I get the new apartment, I bought a brand new wardrobe, got my hair cut, and had a makeover. I feel like a brand new woman."

"You seem very happy," I say.

"You sound surprised," she says with a warm smile.

"I'm sorry," I say, cringing, "but I am surprised."

"Don't worry about it, Beatrice," she says. "I wake up each day and think about my husband and son for a few minutes. I allow myself to grieve during that time but then I choose to put a smile on my lips. It isn't always easy but each day everything gets a little better. I'm happier now than I have been in years."

"You sound … _guilty_ ," I say, searching for the right word.

"I _do_ feel guilty for finding happiness so soon after such a tragedy," she says, suddenly looking bashful. "There's an inherent guilt in living longer than your child. Parents aren't meant to outlive their children. But that isn't what makes me feel guilty. I'm happy that my son isn't out in the world causing trouble for you and anyone else anymore, and _that_ is what makes me feel embarrassed. I hate to say it but I didn't know Peter, and I'm the one who raised him. What does that say about me?"

"I may not have known you long but there's one thing that's perfectly clear, you're nothing at all like Peter," I say, hating the taste of his name on my tongue. "He must take after his father. You are kind, caring, compassionate. I don't think he got a single trait of yours."

"What did he do to you?" she asks. I slowly shake my head back and forth.

"Ruth, you don't need to know the details," I say, nervously wringing my hands together.

"Yes, I think I do," she says. "To totally move on."

"Okay," I finally say. I get up off the couch and take our empty mugs to the kitchen for refills. While I slowly tell her my story including every single gory detail from initiation to his death, I busy myself in the kitchen. I take the coffee cake out of the oven, cut thick slices, and put them on plates. When I'm finished I carry them and the coffee back into the living room. She takes the mug and plate from me with trembling hands, causing me to finally look into her face. I see tears swimming in her eyes. "Don't cry, Ruth."

"I knew it was bad but I had no idea how bad," she says. "I'm so sorry, Beatrice."

"You don't have to apologize. You didn't do anything wrong," I say. "You know what troubles me the most about his actions? He kept telling me that he loved me." I sigh remembering his proclamations. "You don't treat someone you love like that."

"Oh, Beatrice," she says with a sigh. "There are no excuses for his behavior but I will tell you this. The only _love_ his father ever showed him or me for that matter came with a heavy hand and a harsh word. It's no wonder its true meaning became twisted in his mind. I should have been stronger for him and for myself. I shouldn't have looked the other way."

"What he did wasn't your fault," I say. "He was an adult and responsible for his own actions." It sounds like he had a similar upbringing to Tobias but he's never been violent with me.

"I can understand why you don't want me around," she says.

"Ruth," I say scooting closer to her and leaning over and taking her hands in mine. "I liked you immediately when Peter introduced us and now that you know everything, I think we are going to be good friends … if you would like that. I don't want to cause you any added distress." She releases my hands and leans forward to give me a big hug.

"Even though you are not, I think of you as my daughter-in-law," she says. "I would like nothing more than for us to be friends and nothing about you has ever caused me any distress." We spend the rest of the morning talking about everything. I tell her all about Tobias and how we met. Even I can hear how much I love him in my voice. I show her my wedding pictures. I tell her how excited I am about the baby but how nervous I am about the birth, and we go through several snapshots of Tobias, Tyler, and Tessa after she reassures me that my nerves are normal and that I'll do fine. I also tell her all about the plans for the new apartment then she tells me all about her new place and the friends she's made in her new building. She also excitedly tells me everything about her new job, which is easy to tell that she loves.

"Would you like to stay for lunch?" I ask when I notice her looking at the clock.

"I would love nothing more but I've really got to get home," she says. "I have to work this afternoon so I need to be going. It was nice talking to you this morning. I hope we can see each other often."

"I enjoyed our visit, too, Ruth," I say. "I'm so glad you came by today. You're welcome at any time. Do you want a ride back to Candor? I could drive you."

"Thank you for your offer, Beatrice, but I'll catch the bus," she says. "It stops right out front of every faction headquarters today. It was nice of you to offer though." We both get up, and I walk her to the door. "Thank you for telling me. I know that had to be difficult for you. You are a strong woman."

"Thanks for listening," I say. "I know that had to be hard for you."

"Harder for you," she says as the door swings open, making us both jump.

"Whoa!" Tobias says, stopping in his tracks when he sees us both standing here. "Hi, Ruth. I didn't know you were here."

"Hello, Four. I just stopped by to see your wife," she says, "but I have to be going now. It was nice seeing you. Goodbye, Beatrice. Thank you for the coffee and snacks and especially the good conversation. I'll see you again soon."

"Bye, Ruth," I say. I step out into the hallway with her and give her another hug then watch as she disappears down the stairs.

"How about some lunch, love?" Tobias asks as I come back into the apartment. "I'm starving. How does grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup sound?"

"Delicious," I say. I follow him into the kitchen, and we start gathering the ingredients for the light lunch. "So how was your morning?" We have a lot to talk about, and I'm anxious to hear about his morning with Marcus.

"Stressful," he says with a sigh. "I gave Marcus a quick tour around the compound making insignificant small talk along the way but I felt on edge and uncomfortable the entire time."

"Have you thought about his request?" I ask, knowing that he has.

"Truthfully, that's all I've been thinking about since he showed up here today. God, I hate visiting day! I still can't believe that he had the gall to show himself in Dauntless, the Pit of all places," he says. I know him well. "What do you think? I don't want to leave you out of making this decision." I lean up against the counter and watch him while he stirs the soup.

"I don't trust him, Tobias. I still feel like he's up to something," I finally say. "But ultimately it is your decision, and I'll stand behind you whatever it is you decide. Just _please_ be careful. I know you don't want to see anything happen to Tyler, Tessa, Peanut, or me but I can't stand the thought of him hurting you again so please be 100% sure before you make your final decision."

"I understand where you're coming from, love, but try not to worry about me," he says.

"I worry because I love you," I say.

"I love you, too," he says. "By the way, I don't trust him either but…"

"...he's your father," I interrupt, understanding that bond, dysfunctional as it may be.

"Yes, he's my father and there's a small part of me who wants a normal relationship with the man," he says. "I know that sounds crazy after everything that he's done to both of us but it's how I feel."

"No, it doesn't sound crazy to want the love and respect of your parents," I say.

"I want what you have with Natalie and Andrew," he says as he turns the stove off. "You may have your disagreements but they love you no matter what, and they would never intentionally hurt you. Why can't I have that?"

"Oh, Tobias!" I wrap my arms around his waist and pull him close to me. He snakes his arms around me and kisses my head. "You deserve what I have with my parents but looking for it in Marcus Eaton could be a horrible mistake. What if he isn't capable of changing? I can't stand the thought of him breaking your heart."

"My gut feeling is to tell him what I've been telling him since I left Abnegation … I don't want anything to do with you," he says as he releases me from his embrace. "But I think I'm scared to tell him no. I don't want him retaliating when we're least expecting it. If I tell him yes, I can keep an eye on him and see if he is indeed up to something." I hadn't thought of a relationship with Marcus as a preemptive strike.

"That's actually pretty smart, Tobias," I say.

"Thank you. I think so, too," he says as we sit down at the island to eat our lunch. "There's something I need to tell you about. He really wants to get to know his grandchildren. He talked about them a lot." My head pops up and I look at him. I can't describe the look on his face.

"The kids? This is the part that scares me the most," I say. "As much as I don't want you hurt by that man, if he were to do something to Tyler or Tessa I don't think I would be able to control myself. I'd kill him."

"I did tell him that if I were to accept his proposal that he won't be introduced to the children until I know for a _fact_ that he's on the up and up, which he seemed to understand. I told him again that I won't have you or the kids hurt because I exposed you to him. I'm tired of thinking about him right now, love," he says with an exasperated sigh. "I was surprised to see Ruth when I got home."

"When I turned around to come up to the apartment, she was standing there," I say. "We had a long talk. I apologized for my behavior at Candor. Unfortunately, she noticed. She insisted that I tell her what he did. She listened. I think telling my story again helped but I feel bad that she had to hear what her son did."

"It must be hard for her," he says. "She seems like such a nice lady."

"She is, Tobias," I say. "The more we talked, the more comfortable I became. I don't look at her and see him anymore. As a matter of fact, I feel bad for ever linking him to her the way I did. She doesn't deserve the contempt I was feeling the last time we saw each other."

"Don't beat yourself up over it," he says. "Have you read Al's letter?"

"Oh! I forgot about that," I say.

"Do you want any more soup?" he asks as he gets himself another bowl.

"No, I think I'm good," I say. "Maybe I'll have some ice cream after bit." He picks up the envelope I forgot I laid down by the sink and slides it across the island to me. I pick it up and stare at it, noticing that my heart aches a little.

"You don't have to read it if you don't want to," he says, noticing my reluctance.

"Part of me wants to know what in the world was going through his mind before he jumped into the chasm and another part of me just wants to rip this in two, throw it away, and try to forget that I ever knew Al." He sits down next to me and ignoring his bowl of soup, takes me in his arms.

"You'll never forget him," he says. "He was your friend and he made a mistake." We sit wrapped up in each other's arms for a long moment.

"You better eat the rest of your lunch before it gets cold," I say as I let him go. "I'm going to go lie down for a while. I never did get to rest." I kiss his cheek and take the letter upstairs with me. I lie down in the middle of the bed, moving the pillows around until I'm comfortable then I rip open the envelope. I pull out the single sheet of paper and run my fingers over the chicken scratch that is Al's handwriting. I've never seen it before but there's a familiarity to it anyway.

Dear Tris,

The day I met you was the greatest day of my life. Yesterday, when I helped to try and kill you was by far my worst. What I did was unforgivable so I don't blame you for hating me. A real man never would have done what I did. I really wish you could forgive me but I understand why you can't. I completely broke your trust. Hell, I can't even bring myself to forgive ME for what I did.

You are absolutely right, I am a coward, and I can't stand the thought of living factionless. It's my greatest fear. I let that fear get the best of me and allowed myself to become someone I'm not. It's what let Peter poison me against you and for that I'm deeply ashamed.

I got jealous of how well you're doing and all the new friends you're making. I felt left out, like you were moving forward without me. I know you don't feel the same way about me but I'll regret it forever if I don't tell you. I love you, Tris. No one has ever stood up for me the way you did with Eric. Most people look at me with pity in their eyes for one reason or another but I never saw that from you. That cemented you in my heart forever.

Also, watch out for Peter, Drew, and Molly. I don't know why but they absolutely HATE you, and even though I don't know any details, I know they are cooking something up far worse than what happened at the chasm. Watch out for yourself, Tris. I really am sorry. If I could take it back, I would. I hope one day you can look back and remember me with a smile on your face.

Love,

Al

I read over the letter a couple more times then set it aside and relax into the pillows. The usual guilt I feel when I think about Al seems to have magically disappeared. I think I was half expecting the letter to be full of rage and hatred aimed at me but he seems to be seeking forgiveness. Can I forgive him? No, I don't think I can but maybe one day the good times will outweigh the bad. He loved me? I guessed that during initiation but it seems weird to hear him say it ... write it. I do wonder what he meant about Peter, Drew, and Molly though. Peter was a continual thorn in my side until his death but I really haven't given Drew and Molly much of a thought since they burnt out of Dauntless. The shuffling of paper makes me open my eyes.

"I didn't know my eyes were closed," I say. Wow, I sound groggy.

"Well, you were just snoring," Tobias says with a chuckle as he lays Al's letter on the night stand.

"I don't snore, mister," I grumble. He climbs up onto the bed and lies down in front of me.

"Of course you don't, love," he says.

"Was I really asleep?" I ask around a yawn.

"You sure were," he says. "It's been one hell of a day, hasn't it?"

"Al's letter ... Ruth's visit ... _Marcus_. Yeah! You can say it's been one hell of a day."

"I read it, Al's letter. I hope you don't mind," he bashfully says. Oh, that's what I heard.

"I don't mind," I say.

"He loved you?" he says, sounding a little … off.

"Tobias Eaton, please tell me you aren't jealous of Al," I say, half laughing. That's absurd.

"I knew he liked you but to see it in print," he says, shaking his head. "Was there ever a time you liked him?"

"I would have told you if I did. You know you are the only one who has ever touched my heart," I say. "I knew how he felt. He wasn't exactly obvious with his feelings but ... I knew. I think it added to my guilt. His letter helped. I don't feel guilty anymore."

"You never should have been guilty in the first place," he says. "He had his own demons. He made his own decisions."

"I think I'm seeing that now," I say, reaching out and grazing my fingertips over his lips. "What time is it?" He looks over my shoulder at the clock.

"Time to go tell the transfers what their rankings are," he says. Damn! The first time I actually feel in the mood in nearly a week and Tobias and I have to go to the dorms and deal with the misfits. I groan loudly and roll over onto my back. I stretch to get all the kinks out, and when I open my eyes, he's hovering over me.

"Don't start something you can't finish," I pout.

"You have no idea how much I want to start something," he roughly says with a naughty sparkle in his eyes.

"I know. Me, too," I say. I reach up and clasp my hands behind his neck as he slowly lowers his lips to mine. He kisses me tenderly, thoroughly but we're both careful not to let the passion we're suddenly feeling explode. There's just no time. He pulls his lips away from mine with a groan and helps me to my feet. "Why thank you, sir."

"You're very welcome, love." He leans down and wraps his arms around me. With his lips up against my ear he says, "I love you, Mrs. Eaton."

"I love you, too, Tobias," I whisper into his neck. "We better go."


	47. Chapter 47

Tobias and I stop by his office on our way to the transfers' dormitory to pick up the small green chalkboard that usually hangs on the dorm wall. We took it down last night so we could write the misfit's rankings on it. He carries it in one hand and grasps my hand with his other. I know I'm a bit grouchy as we quietly make our way to the Pit but I just can't help myself. The last thing I want to be doing right now is dealing with the initiates. I really didn't mean to take a nap after lunch. I only meant to lie down and rest for a while then I wanted my husband to make love to me. When I was in the kitchen with him earlier, watching him cook, the all too familiar desire hit me like a ton of bricks, which to be honest was a welcome feeling. It's been nearly a week since we made love. Between the pregnancy hormones and the incredibly bad body image I've gotten all of a sudden, I'm hot and cold. When I want him, something gets in our way, and when he wants me, sex is the last thing on my mind. We just can't seem to come together. I steal a glance up at him and find him looking at me out of the corner of his eyes. He gives me his breathtaking smile, and I actually feel my heart start to race.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep," I say.

"I'm sorry I let you sleep," he says. "Had I known…"

"I wanted to surprise you," I say, cutting off his thought. "Maybe we can try later, if I'm not too tired."

"I'd like that," he says. He stops us right outside the dorm door and pushes me against the wall. He drops the chalkboard to the floor with a thud then winds his fingers in my hair. He tilts my head back and brings his mouth to mine as I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer to me. The kiss is passionate, hungry, _needy_. Just as suddenly as he grabbed ahold of me, he backs away. He squeezes his eyes shut and runs his hands through his hair. "I'm sorry, love. I got a bit carried away. We better take care of business." He wants to take care of business? I can't even get my head to stop spinning. After we both stop panting, he picks up the chalkboard and makes sure the names are still visible then opens the door for me.

"Thank you, Four," I say as I enter the dorm room with him on my heels, gaining the attention of the room. We stop in front of the initiates who are broken off in little groups, lounging around. I remember a more strained atmosphere last year but I guess when you don't have mandatory cuts, everyone is at ease.

"Everyone gather around," Tobias says. The misfits quickly get off their bunks and stand before us. They know better than to test him anymore. "I'd like to thank all of you for being punctual this evening. I know you're anxious to get your ranking so you can get on with your night but I'd like to quickly explain how we came up with the order. It's very simple actually. After your first fight, Tris and I ranked you according to your skill level. After each subsequent fight, your ranking was reevaluated based on how well you did against that partner and how much your skill set had grown as a fighter.

"The next phase of training is the emotional part. It is given more weight than the physical part; therefore, those of you who are ranked closer to the bottom can improve your standing. It's difficult but not impossible." I wonder if the misfits just caught the look he gave me? "Just a reminder, your final ranking only determines the order in which you will chose what job you will do. There are no mandatory cuts this year. With no further ado, here are your ranks." He picks the chalkboard up and hangs it on the wall where it belongs. I study the crowd in front of me as they read over the standings.

Brody

Grant

Murphy

Alec

Bethany

Jesse

Sadie

Ana

Kevin

Zoey

There are no surprises this year, and everyone seems pleased with where they stand, except for Kevin who just looks embarrassed to be so near the bottom. Tobias and I discussed Bethany's rank. If you compare her wins and losses to Alec's, she should be ranked above him but she lost to Kevin who is one of the lowest ranked initiates.

"Do you have any questions?" I ask. They all shake their heads at me. "Four and I will take off then. Just a friendly reminder that you are off the rest of the night and all day tomorrow. Curfew still applies and remember don't leave the compound unless you are with a Dauntless member. Goodnight." They all say goodnight then scramble out the door in front of us.

"Do you want to eat in the cafeteria or would you rather go home?" Tobias asks when we exit the dorms.

"I think I'd like a quiet night at home," I say. He nods, knowing exactly what I'm getting at. "Hey, I meant to ask you, has the extra camera been installed out here yet?" Tobias made the decision to leave the secret passageway door unlocked to see if we could catch whoever has been sneaking in and out since Brody said he saw someone come out of it one morning but an additional camera is going to be installed to see if we can catch the culprit.

"Yeah, Zeke had it was installed a few days ago but he hasn't seen any movement on it after hours," he says. The short walk to the daycare center doesn't take us long. When we walk in, Stella is picking up Zane, and it looks like Zane and Tyler don't want to say goodbye to each other.

"Hi, Tris, Four," Stella says.

"Hi, Mommy," Tyler says. "I was playing with Zane."

"You were?" I say, wondering what he's getting at.

"You can go ahead and ask," Stella says to Tyler.

"Can I go home with Zane?" he asks, excitedly. "I wanna play."

"He can spend the night if he wants to," she says. "They are overdue for a playdate. Zane's been bugging me about it."

"I have," he states matter-of-factly.

"You have to come home in the morning," Tobias says. "Mommy and I have the day planned for us. I don't think you'll want to miss it."

"Otay," he says, nearly bouncing off the walls.

"You better calm down," I say.

"Thank you, thank you," he says, hugging my legs.

"Be careful with Mommy," Tobias says.

"Do you want us to drop him off after supper?" I ask.

"No, he can come with me now," she says. "I have PJs and an outfit he can wear tomorrow. We're having pizza for supper. What kind do you like, Tyler?"

"All of them," he says, dead serious. When Stella looks at me I nod. He loves pizza just as much as he loves macaroni and cheese.

"Well, Zane and his brothers and sisters love pepperoni with extra cheese. How does that sound?"

"Yummy," he says, rubbing his tummy. I squat down and turn him around.

"You be good, Tyler," I say. He throws his arms around my neck, nearly chocking off my oxygen supply with a big hug, which I gladly return. "I love you."

"I love you, Mommy," he says. He lets me go and raises his arms to Tobias who picks him up. "I love you, Daddy." He gives him a big hug and kiss then starts wiggling, wanting down.

"You have a good time, buddy," Tobias says. "I love you, too."

"Four, Tris, I didn't know you were here," Mrs. Wheeler says. She looks frazzled today.

"Hello, Mrs. Wheeler," I say. "We were just talking with Stella and Zane. How is my girl today?"

"She's been a little cranky all afternoon," she says. Oh, my poor girl. I wonder what that's about. "I'll go get her for you."

"Thank you," I say, turning my attention back to Tyler. "I know I already said this, but you be good and you have a good time with Zane. You listen to Stella and Zander and do what they ask you to do, okay?"

"Otay," he says.

"Well, we better get going," Stella says. "When would you like him home tomorrow?"

"After breakfast is fine," I say. "You can give Four or me a call and one of us will come and get him."

"That sounds like a plan," she says. "Alright, boys, let's go get the fixings for pizza." Tyler hugs us each again, and then he and Zane wave as they walk out the door with Stella.

"I'm so glad he has such a good friend in Zane," I say. "I worried about that when he came to live with us. I didn't want him being an outsider."

"Everyone loves that child," Tobias says. "I'm afraid he's getting spoiled."

"He's not spoiled," I mutter as Mrs. Wheeler brings me a crying Tessa. "What's wrong, little one? Are you hungry?" I watch her carefully, and it doesn't seem like she is. I kiss her forehead and thankfully she's nice and cool so she must be feeling okay. She just must be little miss cranky pants today. I decide to carry her home instead of pushing her in the stroller, and about half way up the path she stops whining and just contentedly lies in my arms, staring up at me.

"Is she okay?" Tobias asks.

"She sure is," I say. "I think she just missed us today."

"Well, I missed her," he says, leaning over and kissing her head. She smiles at him then yawns widely. "It looks like our girl's tired."

"I never thought to ask Mrs. Wheeler what time she napped," I say. "Are you tired, little one?" She moves her eyes to me and smiles before she yawns again. "Yeah, she's tired. Hopefully, I can feed her before she falls asleep. That way we can have most of the night to ourselves." He leans over and kisses my temple, and I feel it like a burning fire deep in my veins. Yep, the desire is still simmering just below the surface. "So what do you want for supper?" He mutters something, and I look inquisitively at him. I _think_ I know what he just said but that can't be it. "What did you say?"

"I said you," he says with a suggestive grin on his face. Color immediately floods my cheeks. We're nearly to the Pire but someone could be in the hallways to overhear him.

"I thought that's what you said, naughty boy," I whisper.

"You've given me hope, Tris," he says. "I might not need food tonight."

"Well Peanut does," I remind him.

"Of course, she does," he says. "We'll just have to wait a little longer." I can hear the anticipation in his voice, which has me eagerly waiting, too. Tonight is definitely the night.

"Don't you fall asleep," I tell Tessa as I put her against my shoulder in an attempt to keep her awake. "You need to eat before you fall asleep." She starts crying because I disturbed her. "We're almost home. Don't cry, baby girl."

"You go ahead and take her upstairs," Tobias says. "I need to file a report then I'll bring her stroller up. I won't take long, love." He kisses my temple then Tessa's head. I look down at her and she's chewing on her fist with her eyes half closed. "I love you both."

"We love you, too," I say. I catch his hand as he starts to walk into his office, and he looks back at me inquisitively. I pull him back to me and give him what's supposed to be a quick peck that turns into a passionate kiss. Tessa starts wailing, letting us know that we're irritating her. He lets me go then kisses my forehead.

"You better go," he hastily says, arousal thick in his voice.

"Okay," I say. "Hurry home." I turn and disappear through the unmarked door that leads up to our apartment, feeling his eyes on me until I hear the click of the lock behind me. The moment I walk into the living room, I go upstairs and change her diaper. I put her in the crib while I use the bathroom then change into a pair of comfortable sleep shorts and a black nursing tank top. When I reach Tessa, she's crying full volume. "Alright, little one. Let's go downstairs and get you fed." Hungry _and_ tired? Poor girl. That's a lethal combination for her mood. When I reach the living room, I sit in the club chair and put her to my breast. She latches on and quiets down immediately. "There you go, little one. Mommy will make sure you get everything you need. I love you."

"I love you, too, Tobias says with a chuckle as he walks through the door. I raise an eyebrow at him and he smiles. "Oh, you were talking to our girl, huh?"

"Yes," I say. "But I do love you."

"I know," he says. "What do you want for supper?"

"Something light," I say. "Why don't you surprise me?"

"Alright. I can do that," he says. "Is it wrong of me to be jealous of my own daughter right now?"

"Tobias!" He wags his brows at me then leans over and gives me a quick kiss. "I'll surprise you." I watch him tinker in the kitchen as Tessa continues to nurse. When she finishes, she immediately falls asleep. I take her upstairs, change her into a dry diaper and clean onesie since it's a warm evening, and then put her in her crib. "Sleep well, little one. Mommy loves you." I make sure her monitor is on and functioning then get its mate from the bedroom and head downstairs.

"Did you get her down?" Tobias asks.

"I sure did," I say as I put the monitor on the end table. "Do you need any help?"

"No," he says. "Why don't you sit down at the island? Supper is almost ready." I sit down and within minutes Tobias presents me with a grilled chicken Caesar salad with shaved parmesan and freshly made garlic croutons and a glass of chilled sparkling cider.

"This is so good," I say. "I'm pretty lucky. You are such a great cook. Sexy, too."

"You aren't half bad yourself," he says with a wink. We chat about our day while we eat. We start to talk about Marcus again but we quickly decide to leave that subject for a later date. He has the tendency to be a real mood killer and neither of us want that.

"I have a surprise for you," he says as we finish cleaning up the kitchen.

"What is it?" I excitedly ask.

"You'll just have to wait and see."

"Where is it?" I ask, glancing at the burgeoning bulge in his pants.

"You have a dirty mind, Mrs. Eaton," he says with a smirk.

"That I do, Mr. Eaton."

"I like it," he says. "Do you think you could do something for me?"

"I can try," I say.

"I want you to close your eyes and keep them closed," he says. "If you can't do that, I can always blindfold you." He reaches behind him and pulls out the black blindfold Christina used on me at the wedding.

"To tell you the truth, that would probably be easier," I say pointing to his hand.

"Okay," he says, obviously surprised I opted for the blindfold. He steps closer to me with a sexy gleam in his eyes. "Are you sure about this?"

"What are you going to do?" I ask, equally nervous and excited.

"We're just going to have dessert, love." I nod and he slips the blindfold over my eyes and adjusts it into place, making my world go black. He tenderly kisses my forehead and the contact surprises me. "I think you'll be more comfortable sitting down. I'm going to lift you up onto the island. Okay?"

"Okay," I say. He slowly grazes his hands down my body making me shiver then grasps me around the waist and easily lifts me onto the island.

"Are you okay, love? Comfortable?"

"Yes," I say.

"I'm going to get some things then we'll have dessert," he says, close to my ear. "Sit tight." My heart races as I carefully listen to what he's doing, anticipating what he's going to do. I hear clinking of glass then he sets some things down close to me. I reach my hand to try and figure out what he's getting but he captures it and sets it in my lap. "Don't touch."

"Okay," I say, playing along. He opens and closes the cupboard doors and drawers then takes something out of the refrigerator. He runs water for a moment then pours a liquid into a glass.

"Are you still hungry?" he asks. He puts his hands on my bare legs, making me jump then lightly runs his fingers up and down my thighs.

"Yeah," I say.

"I remember you mentioning ice cream earlier," he says. "How about I make you a sundae?"

"That sounds good," I say. My heart is racing with anticipation. _What is he going to do?_ I listen to him work for a little while longer but can't quite make out what he's doing. I had no idea that taking away my sight would heighten my other senses and make what he's doing seem so erotic. And technically he hasn't done anything yet.

"Open your mouth and stick out your tongue," he says. I do as he asks and he drizzles a cold sticky sauce onto my tongue and lips.

"Mmm." I lick the pineapple sauce off my lips and swallow the sweet treat down.

"Would you like some more?"

"Yes, please," I say, opening my mouth.

"Take a bite," he says. I bite down on a firm, cylindrical shape and realize it's a banana. As I chew it, he places butterfly kisses along my neck.

"That was really good," I say after I swallow the fruit. Tropical fruit combinations are some of my favorite.

"I'm glad you liked it," he says. "Here's some more. Open."

"So bossy," I murmur with a chuckle but open my mouth for him.

"Can you tell me what this is?" He drizzles something over my lips, and as I'm licking it off, he drizzles something else that is warm.

"Mmm. Salted caramel and chocolate. They work very well together."

"I think you'll like this pairing, too, then." He's right. I love the combination of chocolate and strawberry. It's decadent. I open my mouth without prompting and feel an ice cold spoon land on my tongue, and I close my mouth around it so he can pull it out.

"Mmm, vanilla," I moan. The next bite had hot fudge and crushed nuts on it too. "Don't you want a bite?" I ask after he's given me several spoons full.

"Oh, believe me, I'll have a taste soon enough," he says. Something in his tone makes all my muscles tighten deep inside.

"Okay," I say, totally lost under his spell.

"Oh, I just spilled ice cream on your shirt," he roughly says. "It looks like I'm going to have to take it off of you." I'm not sure if it's true or not since I can't see but I raise my arms as he drags my tank top up and off my body. "I think I'll take this pretty bra off, too, so you don't get it dirty." I feel his fingertips glide over my heated skin then leisurely unhook each hook on the back of my lacy nursing bra then slowly pull it down my arms, exposing my chest to him. His mouth lands on my neck then I feel something very cold and sticky on my already peaked nipples.

"Oh!" I cry when he spreads a little ice cream on my breast. It feels even colder against my heated skin. He kisses his way down my chest until his hot mouth sucks my nipple into his mouth and laps all the rapidly melting dessert off my breast.

"Mmm. I like eating my sundae off your body. It makes it taste even better. I think I'll have another mouthful unless you would like a bite." I shake my head unable to speak at the moment. He drizzles something cold all over my chest, then something warm. It drops onto my leg, and he leans down and kisses it off. I feel his hair brush my tummy and it tickles. Then he turns his attention to my heaving breasts. "I don't think I ever told you but I really like hot fudge and strawberry." He very slowly licks the sauces off every inch of my chest, concentrating on my aching breasts and highly sensitive nipples. By the time he's done, I'm panting loudly. "I think it's time for these to come off. We don't want to get ice cream all over them." I feel his hands on the waistband of my shorts, so I lift myself so he can slide them and my panties off.

"Ooh!" I say as I lower myself back down. The countertop is cold against my naked backside.

"Cold?" he asks, concern audible in his voice. I nod. "We can move." I shake my head.

"I'm sure you can warm me up." He laughs deeply. I love hearing him so happy and free.

"I think I can do that, love." I'm not sure what he has in store for me but suddenly, I feel a warm sauce being drizzled on my right shoulder followed by the telltale sound of whipped cream exploding from the can. He licks up the sweet treat as his free left hand start roaming over my body. I find that my harsh uneven breathing is hurting my lungs so I try to calm my hammering heart to no avail.

"Aaahh!" I moan as I surrender to his magical mouth and gifted hands. He continues to drizzle sticky sauce after sauce all over my body followed by mound upon mound of ice cream and whipped cream, licking and kissing his way down my body. Soon I find myself lying flat on my back on the island, and I can sense that he is hovering above me.

"You sure are sexy, lying naked in my kitchen all covered in ice cream toppings," he says. He moves his mouth to mine, and I taste a heady combination of chocolate, strawberry, caramel, pineapple, vanilla, and cherry.

"Where did the cherry come from?" I ask. "You didn't give me any cherry."

"I'm sorry, love," he says. "Lift your head." I do as he asks, and he places a sweet cherry in my mouth.

"It tastes good," I say as I swallow it.

"It certainly does," he says. "I poured its syrup on your perfect breasts and licked it off. They make everything taste just a little bit better with the addition of your milk." I blush red at his comment. Even though I know that he likes occasional tastes of my breast milk, it still makes me a little uncomfortable. He slowly moves his hand down my body to the heat between my thighs. I hear him growl as he very slowly enters his middle finger into my tight depths. He puts his mouth against my ear and says, "God, you're so wet already," as his large finger unhurriedly moves inside me.

"I like this game," I pant, grabbing a hold of his naked shoulders. I absentmindedly wonder when he took his shirt off. "I wanted you before ... but I want you ... so much more right now. _Oh, God!_ " He inserts a second finger and increases his pace then adds a gentle swirl with the pad of his thumb against my nubbin. Then he shifts himself and forces my legs further apart with his body as he tortures my aching nipples with his tongue, lips, and teeth. My hips rise and fall in rhythm with his fingers as he slowly builds me toward what is sure to be a sensational summit. He slows his fingers, and I start mewing loudly.

"Sshh, love," he says. "I'm sure you'll like this even better." I feel the coldness of the can before I feel the whipped cream spread between my parted thighs. "I just need another taste." He grazes the very top of his tongue along my quivering body from my aching breasts, down over my expanded abdomen, and kisses first my right and then my left thigh. He starts licking up the sweet cream, taking care not to touch my throbbing nubbin. He makes long sweeping strokes, getting all the whipped cream then thrusts his tongue inside me.

"Oh, hell!" I moan, bucking my hips up to meet his mouth, trying to get as much of him inside me as I can. It's been so long and he's taking his time. I think he's trying to kill me. Maybe this is payback for my irrational pregnancy hormones that have me yelling at him about the toilet seat again. _Don't think about that now, Tris!_ "Oh, Tobias! Baby! Oh, God."

"I don't know what tastes better, the whipped cream or you," he says then slowly resumes lapping up all the sweet cream surrounding my aching nubbin. Between his words and his unrelenting tongue, I come harder than I have in a long time.

"Oh, sweet _shit_ , baby! Oh. My. _God!_ " I scream as I arch my back and grab the back of his head, trying to keep his mouth where it is but he's stronger than me and breaks free from my grip. He squirts out some more whipped cream and starts licking and kissing his way down my leg. _This is different._ When he gets to my foot, he worships every inch of each toe, and to my surprise I find myself building towards that sweet peak again. When he's satisfied that he has thoroughly adored my right foot, he repeats each and every touch on my left leg. "Tobias, baby, I need you. I can't take much more of this." He stops his ministrations and is so quiet. I wonder what he's thinking about. "Tobias?"

"You look so sexy, Tris," he roughly says. "Spread out in front of me, panting the way you are and that blindfold ... God, you have me harder than I've ever been. I need to be inside you. You better sit up." He helps me up and off the island. He carefully draws me down to the floor where he lies down and helps me straddle his hips. "Will you keep the blindfold on?"

"Sure," I say, having no desire to take it off quite yet. He sits up so that we are nose to nose and wraps his arm around my waist. He lifts me and then impales me on his rock hard manhood. "Aaahh damn, Tobias!" He stills, giving me time to get used to his welcome invasion since it's been a little while since we made love. I feel him move so that he's once again lying flat on the floor. I push myself off him with my knees and let gravity return me to my previous position then I grind my pelvis to his, achieving a deeper penetration, loving the feel of him so deep inside, then lift myself once again. I do this a couple times before we reach a perfect rhythm. I feel his hands travel up my body from my hips to my swaying breasts then feel his wet mouth replace his nimble fingers. We pick up the pace as he continues lapping at my nipples, lightly tugging on them with his teeth, and then sucking on them gently.

"So beautiful," I hear him say barely above a whisper. I was hoping to make the journey last longer but my body rebels and I plummet over the edge of the summit I was climbing. I spasm around his thrusting shaft and feel him explode deep inside of me. I collapse into his arms, spent, and he rolls us onto our sides after pulling out of me. "Let me help you with this." He carefully removes the blindfold, and I blink back against the bright light. It takes me a couple seconds to regain my vision, and I look at us and start laughing.

"You didn't do a very good job of getting all the sauce off," I say when I see the streaks of still sticky chocolate and strawberry sauces that aren't only on me. They're all over him, too. "We should take a shower. We're sticky!" I draw his mouth to mine and give him a long, tender, lingering kiss then break away and look into his handsome face. "Even though I liked our little game and the blindfold added to it, I missed looking into your face as you loved me."

"We'll just have to do it again, then, huh?" he says with a grin on his face.

"I think I could handle that," I say.


	48. Chapter 48

I know I'm lying in bed teetering on the edge of slumber and wake. I fight hard to fall back into sleep but unfortunately my heavy eyelids flutter open, and I'm greeted by a bright sunny morning. I stretch with a groan and roll over to find my husband staring at me.

"Good morning, love," Tobias says. "Did you sleep well?"

"I did," I groggily say. "You exhausted me last night. I'm not sure if I slept or passed out." We laugh lightly at my little joke.

"I could say the same thing about you," he says with a smirk on his face. After finishing in the kitchen, we made love in the shower and then again in our bedroom. We just couldn't keep our hands off each other, and I'm not sorry one bit. We were long overdue.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"A little after 6:00 a.m.," he says. I listen carefully to the baby monitor but hear nothing out of the ordinary. "She's still asleep." I give him an inquisitive look. "I could tell you were wondering about our girl. I just checked on her right before you woke up."

"Oh," I say, moving closer to him. "That means we have a little time." I pull his mouth to mine and give him a long, lingering kiss. When we part, my head is fuzzy.

"Time for what? You know she'll be up soon," he says.

"Just _us_ time," I say. "You can kiss me some more. I would like that." He smiles then proceeds to make love to my mouth with his talented tongue and lips as he explores my body with his nimble fingers. He is so good at this. I'm such a lucky girl. I still wonder from time to time why it is that he chose me out of all the girls here at Dauntless but I just close my eyes and thank God. I can't even imagine my life without him. We lie with each other, our arms and legs a tangled mess, kissing and groping each other like the horny teenagers we truly are. Quiet whining catches my attention, and I know Tessa is up. Tobias pulls his mouth from mine but doesn't immediately release me.

"I love you, Beatrice Grace," he says, his voice fill of strong emotion. "Thank you for last night. I had a wonderful time. I needed that connection with you. You know it's not just sex with us, it's so much more."

"I love you, too, Tobias," I say. "You're the one who made last night extra special for us. I liked the sundaes and sex in the kitchen, the quickie in the shower, and when you made love to me in our bed so I could look into your eyes. You always give me what I want, what I need." He kisses me again until Tessa really starts crying.

"Sorry," he says as we climb out of bed. I pull my robe over my bareness and go into Tessa's room as Tobias heads into the bathroom for his morning shower.

"Mommy's here, little one," I say. She's in the middle of the crib keening loudly, tears running down her face. My heart aches at the sight, and I mentally beat myself up as I change her diaper for not tending to her sooner. "I'm sorry, Tessa. I hate when you have tears." I sit down in the rocking chair and try to put her to my breast but she just cries louder so I get up and walk with her a little bit, shushing and bouncing her as I go. She calms down a little so I try again and this time she latches onto my nipple easily and suckles vigorously. As I sit and watch her eat, my mind wanders to Peanut and how I'm going to take care of two babies at once. I know I've had these fearful thoughts before and that woman have twins every day but this is a totally different situation. Tessa won't even be six months old when my due date arrives. Suddenly I realize tears are running down my face as panic sets in.

"What's wrong?" Tobias asks, alarm in his voice.

"How am I going to take care of two babies and a toddler?" I blubber almost incoherently. Tessa releases my nipple and looks at us trying to figure out what's wrong. I lift her to my shoulder, and she burps on the second pat.

"Do you want me to finish with her?" he asks.

"No," I say. "I want to finish feeding her." My heart starts calming and I feel reason returning. "Are you still hungry, little one?" I place her to my other breast and she continues to nurse vigorously showing no signs of slowing.

"You know you have me," he says, comfortingly running a hand up and down my arm. "You're not alone. I know it won't be easy when Teagan is born but we'll do it together. You and me … always."

"Always," I say. He gives me a peck on the lips then goes downstairs to make breakfast. "Daddy's right. Things will change when your little sister is born but Mommy and Daddy will always love you. I hope you know that." She smiles up at me, seeming to have forgiven me for being late with her breakfast. I continue to talk to her as she nurses, and she stares into my eyes like she's hanging on every word. When she's done I put her back in her crib and she starts whining again. "Little one, Mommy's just trying to find an outfit for you to wear. You don't have to get upset." I open the top drawer of her dresser and pull out an outfit Christina and Will bought for her when she was born. I've anxiously waited for it to fit, and I'm sure it will now. I lay it on her changing table and get her out of the crib. She starts cooing at me, and the look on her face seems like she's telling me off. "Is little miss crabby pants back?" She smiles when she's in my arms again. "Let's get you dressed and surprise Daddy with your cute little outfit." I lie her on the changing table and strip her out of the onesie I put her in last night then put her in a clean, dry diaper. "Will you lie still?" She's moving all around, trying to roll over. "Sometimes you are so hard to dress." I finally manage to get the pink onesie with darker pink ruffle cap sleeves, zebra print trim around the neck and legs, and a zebra print belt with a black tulle bow that says Daddy's girl in a frilly scroll across the front on her. I grab the matching dark pink hat trimmed in black with a black tulle and zebra print rosette and manage to get it on her head as she finally manages to roll over. "You're proud of yourself, aren't you?"

"Aaahh."

"I knew you were proud," I tell her as I give her a kiss. "Come on, little one. I think Daddy's almost got breakfast ready and Mommy's hungry." She coos the entire time as I walk down the stairs. I go to put her in the swing and she starts crying again. "Our girl is a little miss cranky pants this morning."

"Is she?"

"Every time I put her down, she starts crying," I say. "It's making me want to cry." A knock interrupts my thoughts, and I'm surprised to find Tyler, Avery, and Callen at the door when I open it. "Well hello!"

"Tyler wanted to come home," Avery says.

"I miss you," he says, his face falling as he hugs my legs.

"I missed you, too," I say leaning over and kissing his head. "Avery and Callen, would you like to come in? Four's making pancakes."

"We're having breakfast with my mom and dad this morning," Avery says, "so we've got to get back but thanks for the offer. Give me five, Tyler." She holds her hand out in front of him, and he smacks it with his then wraps his arms around her in a big hug. "I'm glad I got to see you this morning. I've missed you."

"Missed you, too," he says, pouting. "Will you visit me?" She squats down so they are on the same level.

"I tell you what, I'll get together with your mom and dad after initiation is over and plan on taking you to the park. Does that sound good?"

"Yeah!" he says, his eyes lighting up. "I like that."

"Well, we've got to go," Callen says. "Bye, Tris, Four. Bye, Tyler. See you later."

"Bye, Av," Tyler says as we stand in the doorway waving at our departing guests. "Bye, Cal."

"I made blueberry pancakes and bacon," Tobias says. "Who's hungry?"

"I am," I say. "What about you, Tyler? Are you hungry or did you eat at the Parrish's?"

"I hungwy," he says. "I comed home."

"Alright. Two plates please, Daddy," I say.

"Two plates coming right up," Tobias says. "Come here, buddy." He lifts Tyler into his booster seat then heads into the kitchen to plate the pancakes and bacon.

"Why Tess with you?" Tyler asks, cocking his head to one side.

"Your sister is a bit grumpy today so she's going to sit with me," I say. Tessa reaches out for Tyler and he takes her hand and makes a face at her, which makes her laugh out loud at him."

"She not gwumpy," he says, confused.

"She's happy to see you," I say. "She missed you last night just as much as Mommy and Daddy missed you." I continue to lightly bounce her in my lap as she laughs at Tyler as he makes funny faces at her. My stomach growls just as Tobias sets plates down in front of us. "Breakfast is ready."

"Awe," Tyler sing-songs when he sees the ears on the pancakes that make them resemble a cartoon character in a couple of his old movies. "Mick the Mouse!"

"I think his name is Mickey Mouse," Tobias says.

"Mick … key Mouse," he repeats.

"Do you like it?" I ask him.

"I love it," Tyler says then he starts giggling loudly. It takes me a minute to figure out what he's laughing about then I notice that I got Mickey Mouse shapes also. I glance at Tobias and he grins at me.

"I love my pancakes, too. Do you think Daddy will have what we're having?"

"Yeah!" Tyler says excitedly.

"Well it just so happens that I made myself Mickey Mouse pancakes, too," Tobias says as he sits his plate down next to mine. "Does anyone want some milk?"

"Tyler and I will take a glass, please," I say. After he pours us each a drink, he sits down at the island, and we enjoy the wonderful breakfast he prepared. When I finish, I put my dirty dishes in the dishwasher and hand Tessa to Tobias so I can take my shower. "Tyler, I'll lay out something for you to wear on your bed. Zane's outfit is a little big for you. Put it in your hamper please, and I'll make sure to get it back to Stella."

"Otay, Mommy," he says.

"I'm going to take a shower," I quietly tell Tobias. "I'll be down after bit then we can tell Tyler about our plans."

"Okay," he says. "Take your time, love. We're in no hurry."

"We going someplace?" Tyler asks, overhearing our conversation even though I was intentionally quiet.

"You'll have to wait and find out," Tobias says. He puts Tessa on her tummy on the floor in front of the couch next to Tyler, and she starts whining. Tyler lies down and gets in her face, making noises and faces to get her to laugh. "You better go, love."

"Okay," I say. I give him a quick kiss then jog up the stairs and head into Tyler's room. The shirt that happens to be on top when I open the drawer is absolutely perfect. It's a white t-shirt with black suspenders sewn into place and a faux multicolored zebra print tie. It looks like it was bought to match Tessa's little outfit. I pair it with black jean shorts and his black tennis shoes. I lay it on his bed like I told him I would then I head into the bathroom. I take a leisurely shower then dress in my black Dauntless t-shirt with the seal on the front that matches the shirt Tobias is wearing today but I pair it with black knit shorts and black flip flops instead of the jeans and combat boots he's wearing. I pull my hair into a short ponytail at the base of my neck and hold my bangs away from my face with a thick shiny black headband then put on very light makeup.

"Mommy?"

"Yeah, buddy," I say as I open the bathroom door.

"Tess gwumpy again," he says. I can tell his sister is exasperating him.

"She'll be okay."

"What if hew hungwy?" he asks. "I gwumpy when my tummy's hungwy."

"Well I don't think she's hungry but how about we check," I say. I take his hand, and he practically drags me down to the living room.

"See," he says as he points at a crying Tessa.

"I told you she was fine," Tobias says. Tyler starts pouting

"Come here, little one," I say as I pick her up. She puts her head on my shoulder but doesn't stop crying. Tobias gives me a questioning look. I'm sure he expected her to quiet down just like I did. "Are you hungry again?" I check for feeding cues but find none. "I'm going to go change her." I take her to her room and change her dirty diaper but it doesn't help so I sit in her rocker. After rocking for a while, she calms down then falls to sleep.

"How is she?" Tobias asks when I come downstairs.

"She fell asleep so I put her in bed," I say. "I think she was just fighting sleep and that's why she was so grumpy."

"Tris, have you seen the picnic basket?" Tobias asks.

"Isn't it in the island?" I say. "I swear I remember putting it away."

"I looked but I didn't see it," Tobias says. I go to the cupboard we keep it in but it isn't there. Hhm. I open the door next to it and there it sits.

"I could have sworn I put it where it belonged after our last picnic," I say as I pull it out and set it on the countertop, "but I obviously put it in the wrong cupboard. I think it's called pregnancy brain. I can't remember anything. It's frustrating."

"No worries. I should have thought to look there," he says. "Are we ready to pack it?"

"Awe we going to the pawk?" Tyler asks as he excitedly jumps up and down on the couch.

"Don't jump on the couch," Tobias says and Tyler immediately stops. "We don't want you to fall off and hurt yourself. And to answer your question, yes we are going to the park today, and before we come home we're going to the ice cream parlor." Tyler's eyes widen just a little more with each word.

"We wanted to make it a surprise," I say. "Are you surprised?"

"Yeah!" He gets down off the couch and runs to us. Tobias lifts him into his arms and gives him a big hug.

"I'm glad you're excited," he says. "We haven't had our family Sunday for so long. We knew we had to do something special today."

"I so happy," Tyler says as he throws his arms around Tobias' neck and hugs him tightly.

"I think I hear Tessa," I say. "She didn't sleep long." I find her lying on her tummy, crying loudly. "What's wrong, my little one? Why do you keep crying?" She quiets down when I tuck her just so in my arms. Her eyelids flutter a couple times before they close. I decide to rock her instead of going back downstairs in an attempt to make sure she doesn't wake up again so I sit in the rocking chair and put her against my chest.

"Love?" Tobias says. I open my eyes and look into the most handsome face in the world. "Are you about ready to go?"

"Isn't it too early?" I ask.

"No. You fell asleep," he says. "I packed the picnic basket for us. Tyler's practically bouncing off the walls with bottled up energy."

"Okay," I say.

"Do you want me to carry her?" he asks.

"No, I have her," I say. "I'm not sure what's up with her but her onesie should say Mommy's girl today because I can't put her down without her crying."

"Okay," he says. "I'll get the car and pull it around to the front of the building then come back in and carry everything down. I'll take Tyler with me."

"Okay," I say.

"You ready to go, buddy?"

"Mommy coming?" he asks when I sit on the couch.

"We're just moving the car. She and Tessa are coming with us."

"Otay," he says.

"Be good," I say.

"I will," he says. When they open the door, Christina is standing in the hallway. "Hi."

"Hey! Where are you off to?"

"We're getting the car then we're off to the park," Tobias says. "Tris is on the couch."

"Hi, Tris," she says, sticking her head through the open door.

"Hi, Christina," I say. "What are you doing today?"

"Will and I are going zip lining," she excitedly says. "I can't wait!"

"Is that today?" I ask as I remember zooming through the city last year, suspended from the thin wire. "You'll love it. It's such a thrill."

"I can't wait," she says. "We're just getting ready to gather some initiates and see if they want to go. I know Avery and Callen are going."

"Do me a favor," I say. "If you see Brody and Ana before you go, invite them along. They're both kind of loners. The group activity might help them out."

"We'll do that," she says, looking over her shoulder. "Here comes our sitter. I've got to go. Have fun at the park."

"Have fun yourself," I say. "See you later!"

"Bye!" Within minutes Tobias and Tyler come back, and we head to the park.

"Zip lining is today," I say, making conversation with Tobias.

"I know," he says. "It's another Dauntless tradition. Every year the day after visiting day members handpick some of the initiates to go to the zip line."

"I told Christina that if she and Will ran into Brody and Ana before they left to ask them to go," I say. "They need to socialize more."

"Good thinking. I agree," he says as we pull into the city park. I'm expecting it to be busy but in truth it looks deserted.

"It looks like we have the place to ourselves today," I say.

"Yeah!" Tyler says. "I get to play!"

"You sure do buddy," I say. As we turn into our favorite part of the park a flash of gray catches my attention and I gasp. "Did you do this?" I look at Tobias, and he flashes me his brilliant smile.

"I asked them if they were busy today, and they weren't so they agreed to meet us for lunch."

"Thank you," I say, leaning over and kissing his cheek. "I love you."

"Gwamma and Gwampa!" Tyler screams out the car window when he sees Mom and Dad sitting on the picnic table under the massive oak tree, and they wave as we park. Tyler can barely sit still waiting for Tobias to unbuckle his car seat. I get a still napping Tessa out of her car seat, wondering the entire time how she can sleep through her brother's excited screaming as he runs to my parents.

"Hi, Mom," I say when I reach them. "Hi, Dad."

"Hello, Beatrice," Dad says. "How are you?"

"I'm good," I say. My mom stands up and hugs me.

"You look so good," she says. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm tired one minute and full of energy the next," I quietly say. "And poor Four is the recipient of my irrational hormones." Tessa starts whining and sucking at the air. I stick my knuckle in her mouth and she grabs ahold of my hand and slowly opens her eyes. "Are you hungry, little one? Four, will you make her a bottle?"

"Sure, love," he says as he puts her diaper bag down on the table and gets her bottle and battery operated bottle warmer out.

"Is she okay?" my mom asks.

"She's been a bit grouchy the past couple of days," I say, as I gently sway her back and forth in an effort to keep her calm. She continues sucking on my finger like she hasn't eaten in days.

"Here you go," Tobias says as he hands me Tessa's bottle.

"Thank you," I say.

"Daddy, will you play with me?" Tyler asks.

"I sure will," he says. "Let's go." He jogs off toward the jungle gym with Tyler sprinting after him.

"I'll join you, too," my dad says then he follows behind them.

"How's he doing?" I ask Mom when Dad is out of earshot. "Is initiation too much for him?"

"He loves getting out of the house," she says. "He was cooped up after his surgery for far too long. It was suffocating for him, and it affected his mood. He's better now though."

"Is everything okay with you two?" I ask noticing for the first time that she seems haggard, which is out of character for her.

"Of course," she says but she's not her usual happy self.

"Are you sure?" I ask. "You can tell me anything, you know."

"Beatrice, your father and I are fine," she says. I'm not sure I believe her but I decide to respect her privacy and not pry. "How's your initiation going?" I tell her all about our troubles with the misfits including Faith and Sam's deaths. I choose to leave out what happened with the bitch though. Mom already seems to be stressed, and I don't want to add to it.

"How many initiates do you have?" I ask. "Do you have any transfers?" Transfers in and out of Abnegation are extremely rare. Tobias, Caleb, and I are in the minority.

"There are 16 initiates this year," she says. "They were all born in Abnegation, and it's one of our largest classes ever."

"It was our largest class also," I say, "and it's the first time in the history of Dauntless that there were more transfers than Dauntless-born, at least we started out that way."

"I heard that some factionless kids chose. Did you get any?"

"Yeah. Two. As a matter of fact the girl who died during the fight training was a factionless transfer. Her brother is still with us."

"That must be difficult for him," she says.

"It is but he's found Ana, another transfer, and getting to know her has helped him, at least it seems that way." I put Tessa's bottle down then put her up to my shoulder so I can burp her. After a few pats, she spits up all over my shirt. "Uh-oh! Do you have a tummy ache, sweetheart? Are you feeling better now? Is that why you've been so cranky lately?" I manage to wipe my shirt off then feed her the rest of her bottle while Mom and I continue catching up.

"Have you heard from Caleb? I feel so bad for not reaching out to him and Cara but we've been so busy."

"I saw them a couple weeks ago at Will and Christina's wedding," I say.

"I didn't know they were getting married," she says.

"It was very spur of the moment," I say. "Will planned it as a surprise. It was very romantic. I talked to them for a little bit but I was Christina's matron of honor, and I had the kids to look out for. They're busy with initiation, too. We all are so busy right now."

"That we are," she says. We watch Tyler play with Tobias and Dad, and I don't know who looks like they are having the better time.

"Do you want to see Grandma, little one?" I ask when she finishes her bottle. I hand her to my mom, and she smiles at her. Hopefully, she will be in better spirits. Luckily she didn't get any spit up on herself but my shirt is really starting to turn my stomach. "I'm going to go change my shirt. I'm glad I thought to bring a spare." I dig the gray tank top out of the diaper bag and head toward the bathroom.

"Where are you going?" Tobias hollers.

I hold up the shirt and yell, "To change my shirt." I walk purposefully toward the nice updated bathrooms that are across the street realizing that Peanut is sitting directly on my bladder. I go into the largest stall and after I relieve myself, I change into the clean, fitted shirt. When I finish, I stand in front of the full-length mirror making sure that she didn't get any spit up in my hair or anywhere else. Unfortunately, I hear her before I see her.

"I thought I was going to catch another glimpse of that birthmark on your butt cheek the way you were yelling at Four about changing. You're still pale, _Stiff_?" the irritatingly grating voice muses. I hate myself for it but I tense up. What's she doing here?

"Hello, Molly," I dryly say.


	49. Chapter 49

Adrenaline races through my veins when I see Molly standing in the open doorway of the bathroom. Even though she was just a nuisance during initiation who, in my opinion, got what she deserved both when I beat the crap out of her during our last fight and again when she was made factionless, my body readies for combat by standing straighter and curling my hands into fists. As we stand glaring at each other, all I hear are Al's words echoing in my head. _"Watch out for Peter, Drew, and Molly. I don't know why but they absolutely HATE you, and even though I don't know any details, I know they are cooking something up far worse than what happened at the chasm."_ Could Molly and Drew still be planning something even though Peter is dead? Did they help him and Marcus kidnap me knowing I would be given memory serum? Are they wanting revenge for his death even though I had nothing to do with it? I stare at her for a couple seconds then give her a sweet but fake smile.

"It's nice to see you again," I lie, suddenly finding it hard to keep my breakfast down. "What brings you to the park today?" _Yeah, I'm fishing for information, bitch._

"What?" she spits with venom in her voice. "Do you think the park is off limits to the factionless? Not everything belongs to Dauntless you know."

"PMS much?" I say with a chuckle. She narrows her eyes and takes a step toward me. My heart is pounding so hard in my chest that I'm surprised she can't hear it. "What do you want, Molly?"

"Your head in a box would be nice," she mutters hatefully. I shake my head and roll my eyes but don't relax my stance. I took her once but I'm nearly eight months pregnant now, and I don't want to put Peanut in jeopardy because of this bitch but if she attacks, I _will_ defend myself.

"Whatever," I mutter. I know I need to escape the solitary confinement of the bathroom but she's blocking the doorway. "Is there something you need?"

"My life back," she spits. _What?_ "I should be in Dauntless and _you_ should be factionless."

"What are you talking about?" I ask. "What do I have to do with the fact that you failed initiation and was made factionless?"

"Don't stand there and give me that," she says. "I know you were dating our instructor during initiation. That alone should have caused you two to be kicked out. Drew and I went to Eric but he didn't have time to investigate before he was arrested and executed. Then in a cruel twist you two were made leader. There was no one left to listen to us."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I say.

"You're such a liar. We saw you coming out of Four's apartment before the final rankings were announced. That's when it all made sense; you two cheated," she says, inching closer to me. I take an instinctive step back. "I don't know how he pulled it off but he saw to it that you got the best ranking and Drew and I had to leave."

"First of all you are right," I say, stunning her into silence. "You did see us come out of his apartment that day but we weren't dating until right then not that it's any business of yours."

"Bullshit," she says.

"Believe what you want. I wasn't dating Four until after initiation was over," I state matter-of-factly, convincingly … I hope. "Secondly, we did not cheat because there is no way to cheat. I just didn't have as many fears as the rest of you." I sigh and shake my head. "Why am I explaining any of this to you? It's not like you'll believe me anyway so why don't you get out of my way then we won't have to look at each other."

"You're not going anywhere," she says as she takes another step toward me, closing the gap.

"What's going on in here?" Tobias asks from directly behind her. The sound of his voice instantly calms me.

"It figures that you need _Four_ to fight your battles." She turns and looks at him then back to me. "We all know he's the only reason you made it through initiation."

"He is _not_ ," I yell, losing my cool momentarily. I close my eyes and inhale deeply knowing that my stress level is increasing by the second, which isn't good for my baby.

"That's enough, Molly," Tobias says, his voice icy cold and deadly serious. He's pissed. "I suggest you walk away … _now_." I expect her to shrink back in fear but she doesn't even flinch. She's changed. She's more ruthless now. She looks right at him and grins.

"We know that you two broke the rules last year, and we _will_ find a way to make sure you pay. You are the ones who should be factionless. Watch your back. _Both_ of you." As soon as she turns and stalks out of the bathroom, Tobias has me in his arms.

"Are you okay, love?" he asks.

"I am now," I say as I cling to him.

"You're shaking," he says.

"I think I just need to sit down," I say, feeling my legs turn to rubber. He holds me up and walks me to the picnic table across the street where my mom is sitting with Tessa.

"Can I get you something? Anything?" he asks, his mood dark and his attention torn between taking care of me and wanting to go after Molly.

"Something to drink would be great," I say. "She likes pushing my buttons and, unfortunately, I let her. I just need to calm down."

"Is everything okay, Beatrice?" Mom asks as Tobias pours me a glass of lemon-lime soda.

"It's nothing really. I just had a run-in with a girl from my initiation class. She's factionless now because of Dauntless' old rules, and for some reason she thinks I'm to blame for her predicament."

"Why would she think that?" Mom asks. I hold my arms out and she gently places Tessa in them, calming me further.

"She's a vile girl who had no hope of making it through initiation with last years' rules in place, and she needs to blame someone else for her own short comings," Tobias says. "If it wasn't Tris, it would be someone else."

"She sounds like a lost soul," Mom says, forgiving … _Abnegation_ as ever.

"Not lost enough," I mutter under my breath.

"I'm going to go play with your father and Tyler for a little bit," she says, sensing I need to talk to my husband alone for a moment.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asks when she's out of earshot.

"I'm better now," I say. "I think she wanted to fight. At least that's the vibe I got off her. I didn't want any part of it but I would have defended myself if necessary." I look around, sensing eyes on us but I don't see anyone. I place my forehead against his and cup his cheek with my hand. "She knows we were together before initiation ended." I whisper just in case someone is close enough to overhear us. "I don't know if she has proof or just suspicions but she and Drew went to Eric before he got arrested. What if someone reopens the case? What if they bring formal charges? I can lie but you can't." He brings his mouth to mine and kisses me soundly, effectively shutting me up.

"Enough with the 'what ifs,' love," he says. "Don't worry about something that's never going to happen, love. She's bluffing. She only thinks she knows what happened between the two of us. She grasping at straws, Tris."

"You don't know that, Tobias," I say.

"Neither do you," he says, kissing my forehead. "There's absolutely nothing to worry about. Even if she made a complaint, no one is going to do anything about it. There are no written rules against fraternization."

"But it's frowned upon," I say.

"Yes, it's frowned upon but no rules were broken. Plus if you remember, you already admitted to us dating before initiation ended under truth serum and nothing happened," he sighs. "Forget you ran into her. She's messing with your head, trying to make you second guess yourself. You aren't that same girl she bullied during initiation. You're stronger now. Let's forget about her and have a good time with your parents. You haven't seen them since initiation started."

"You're right," I say. "I shouldn't stress myself out unnecessarily. If something happens, we'll deal with it then … _together_."

"That's right, love," he says, leaning down to kiss me but he stops midair and backs away then tenses up.

"What is it?" I ask.

"I don't know," he says. "It feels like we're being watched." We look around and sure enough across the street leaning against a wide oak tree Molly is staring at us as she talks on a cellphone. "How in the hell did she get a cellphone? Factionless aren't supposed to have access to them."

"We do have something to worry about, don't we?" I say as we watch her slide her cellphone into her pocket, give us a casual little wave, and then disappear into the trees.

"Not today," he firmly says. "Right now we're going to have a good time with your parents and our kids and tonight at home we'll spend some time just you and me. We'll try to figure out what Molly and Drew are up to tomorrow. Okay?" Not just Molly and Drew. If they have a phone, they're working with a faction member ... or initiate.

"Okay," I murmur. "We'll worry about them another day."

"Mommy! Daddy!" Tyler yells, running toward us.

"What, buddy?" Tobias asks as Tyler leaps into his arms.

"I'm hungwy," he says, an expectant look on his face.

"Are you ready for lunch?" I ask. He eagerly nods his head up and down. "Well, I think we can do something about that. Will you go get Grandma and Grandpa and tell them it's time for lunch?"

"Otay!" he says.

"Can I have a kiss?" I ask.

"Sure," Tobias says giving me a quick peck. Tyler's mouth falls open and he pouts.

"Mommy talking to me," he indignantly says to Tobias.

"Am I not supposed to kiss Mommy?" he asks. Tyler shakes his head while he wrinkles his nose. "But I like kissing your Mommy."

"I like kissing you, too," I say as I caress his face. I press my lips to his again for a tender kiss then I look at Tyler when we part. "So where's Mommy's kiss. I love getting kisses from you, too, buddy." He smiles brightly and gives me a big sloppy wet kiss then Tobias sits him on his feet, and he runs toward my Mom and Dad. "I love that boy so much."

"I know," he says. "I love him, too." Tessa starts cooing and Tobias looks down at her then kisses her head. "I love you too, Pebbles. Tris, why don't you sit down and relax, and I'll get lunch ready."

"Okay," I say. I put Tessa in the travel sleeper we have situated at the end of the picnic table then sit down. She seems in much better spirits since she spit up all over me. Her stomach must have been hurting and that's the reason she was so crabby. I watch her roll around the portable bed like she's trying to get comfortable then yawn widely and close her eyes. The moment she falls asleep I feel myself relax. Thankfully, she's acting like her old self again.

Tyler kneels on the bench beside me with his forearms resting on the table, and Mom and Dad sit across from us. Instead of making everyone a plate, Tobias gets the platter of sandwiches and bowls full of various salads out of the picnic basket and scatters them around the tabletop between us so we can serve ourselves. I fill Tyler's plate with half a turkey and Swiss sandwich, macaroni salad, carrot and celery sticks with ranch dressing, and apple salad then make myself an identical plate, except I get a chicken salad sandwich instead.

"It was very nice of you to invite us to lunch," Mom says to Tobias as she eats.

"I'm glad I thought of it," he says. "I know it hasn't been that terribly long since we spent the afternoon together but I knew Tris was missing you." He's not wrong.

"I'm sorry that we didn't come yesterday," Dad says. "I had every intention of visiting both you and Caleb but we had an emergency in Abnegation. Do you remember Helen Reiter?"

"Helen Reiter? The name sounds familiar but I can't quite place it," I say searching my memory.

"Isn't she a council member?" Tobias says.

"Oh, that's right. She's the council member who makes all the volunteer assignments, right?"

"That's her," he sadly says. "She had a heart attack yesterday morning, and I'm afraid she didn't make it."

"Oh my," I say. "How sad. Isn't her job one of the most important in Abnegation? Do you know who is taking her place?"

"We're not sure yet. We do have a list of candidates," Dad says. "Not to talk shop but we're pulling together an emergency council meeting for early next week to decide on her replacement then we'll make the announcement later in the week."

"Oh, okay," I say. I look at Tobias and ask, "Do you think I will be able to go?"

"I can't see why not," he says. "I'll ask Uriah or Christina to fill in for you."

"Good," Dad says. "It'll be nice to have actual council members instead of stand-ins. I'll give you a call with a time and place for the meeting."

"Sounds good," I say. After we finish lunch, we all sit down on the blanket beneath the massive oak tree that shades the area so we can relax. Even though he insists that he isn't tired, Tyler immediately falls asleep when he lays his head in my lap. Tobias is lying on his side beside me, and I'm casually running my hand through his hair while we talk with my parents who are sitting side-by-side on the red-and-white-checked blanket in front of us.

"I ran into Marcus yesterday," Dad says, bringing up the subject almost reluctantly. Tobias stiffens under my caress at the mention of his father. "He told me that he's been trying to patch things up with you. Is that correct?"

"Trying to patch things up," Tobias scoffs under his breath as he chuckles and shakes his head. "That's what he keeps saying but I'm just not sure I trust that he's being completely honest with me. I can't shake the feeling that he has ulterior motives."

"You think he's being dishonest?" Dad asks.

"Yes," I say, matter-of-factly.

"I tend to agree with her," Tobias says, putting his hand on my low back and instinctually rubbing the sore spot. "It's like he's up to something and this is the first phase of his plan. Step one: Get Tobias and Tris to trust me. Step two: When they finally do, go in for the kill."

"It must be awful to feel that way about your own father," Mom says.

"I've never known anything different, Natalie," he says. "He did apologize for a lot of things including my crappy childhood. He told me that he raised me the only way he knew how … the way his father raised him. There's a small part of me who thinks I could almost forgive him for everything he's ever done to me during my life. Don't get me wrong, it wouldn't be easy. If I didn't have a family, I might even try.

"But what I will _never_ forgive is what he put Tris through. Giving her the memory serum could have taken her and our daughter away from me forever and her away from me, Tyler, and Tessa. There's just no forgiving that. He kidnapped her and gave her away. Thank God the serum only made her sick. No, I'll never forgive him for that, which makes me think we can never have the relationship he wants."

"I didn't mean to bring the atmosphere down by mentioning your father, son," my dad says.

"You didn't, Andrew," he says. Tyler's eyes flutter open, and when he looks up at me, he frowns for a moment before a huge smile spreads across his face.

"Hi, baby," he says as he kisses my belly. He sits up and looks at each of us with a happy, contented smile. "Can I play?" We all laugh lightly at his innocent exuberance. He has no worries, and I intend to make sure it stays that way for a long time.

"How about I go with you? Would you like that?" I ask.

"Yeah!"

"Well let's go," I say. He immediately bounces up and waits for me. I finally make it to my feet with Tobias' help then follow Tyler to the jungle gym. We slide, swing, climb, run, and play for a good hour before Mom and Dad relieve me.

"How are you feeling?" Tobias asks as he rubs my shoulders and back after I sit down at the picnic table.

"Mmm," I moan. His hands feel so good on my tired, sore body.

"Do you like that?" he asks, his mouth close to my ear.

"I do," I sigh. "My back hurts but I didn't want to disappoint Tyler. We were having such a wonderful time."

"I could tell," he says as he continues my massage. "You were both beaming while you were playing but then I noticed you getting tired."

"I could use a nap," I say.

"Should we go home?" he asks.

"We promised Tyler ice cream and I won't lie, I have a craving for their salted caramel and milk chocolate bacon ice cream." Tessa starts crying, interrupting our conversation.

"Hey, little one," Tobias says as he lifts her out of the travel sleeper. I expect her to stop crying but she doesn't, which makes me look at the time.

"Are you hungry, Tessa?" I watch her actions and, sure enough, she is. I get a blanket out of the diaper bag, feeling the need to nurse instead of give her a bottle. I sit back down and Tobias hands her to me. After I throw the blanket over her head, I put her to my breast, and she easily latches on and suckles eagerly. "If you want to start packing the car, we'll go after she finishes."

"Sounds like a plan," he says. He kisses my temple then proceeds to pack everything away in the car. I watch Tyler play with my mom and dad while Tessa nurses. It's a sight I never thought I would witness and it warms my heart. He's changed them so much, and I can't wait for the day that they're chasing after all three of my kids. After Tobias finishes packing the car, he sits down next to me.

"He loves your mom and dad so much," he says.

"They love him, too," I say. "Look at them. Do they seem okay to you?"

"Your mom looks tired," he says. I study her face, and I can't argue with his assessment. "Why do you ask?"

"I hope everything is okay between them."

"Why wouldn't it be?" he asks. His rests his forehead against mine and I sigh.

"I'm probably imaging it but they seem off," I say. He looks toward my parents who seem to be slowing down. I know how they feel. My boy is always so full of energy. It's hard to keep up with him.

"They look fine to me," he says after we've been quite for a while. I almost forgot we had been talking about my fear that my parents aren't okay.

"I'm glad," I say. When I realize Tessa has finished, I straighten my clothing up then burp her for a second time. I make sure a burp cloth is in place just in case her tummy is still upset but she doesn't spit up this time.

"Tyler, say goodbye to Grandma and Grandpa," Tobias says. We watch him pout as first my mom and then my dad bend down and give him hugs and kisses. "Come on, buddy. Mommy really wants some ice cream." His demeanor changes at the mention of dessert, and his frown fades away. He sprints to our sides with a smile on his face.

"I weady!" he says.

"Alright. Let's get you in the car," Tobias says.

"I'm so glad we did this today," I tell my parents who are standing hand-in-hand before me. "I wish we could do it more often."

"We love seeing you, too," Mom says. "You've got such a wonderful family, Beatrice. You are a very lucky young woman."

"I've done well for myself," I say. "I'm thankful every day for finding Four."

"He's a delightful young man," Dad says. "We were talking about you while you were playing with Tyler. It's obvious how much he loves you."

"I'm a lucky girl," I say. "Well, I better get going. Would you like to get ice cream with us?"

"As much as we'd love to, we need to be getting home," Mom says. "Tomorrow is the beginning of another busy week." I put Tessa in her car seat then give each of my parents a hug, lingering a little longer with my mom.

"I love you," I say.

"I love you, too, Beatrice … so much," she says in my ear right before she releases me. We get in the car and wave at my parents as Tobias backs out of our parking place then head toward the ice cream parlor. I stare out the window, thinking about our day and my mind drifts to our conversation with my mom and dad about Marcus.

"It sounds like you made your decision," I say, turning my head to look at him.

"What are you talking about?" he asks, confusion plain on his face.

"Your father."

"I guess I have," he says as he gazes into my eyes. "I can't allow him to hurt you again."

"You know how I feel about him – I don't trust him and I think it would be best we never saw him again – and I love how protective you are of me but I can't be your only reason not to have a relationship with him," I say.

"Tris," he says but I interrupt.

"Baby, let me finish," I say. I reach out and cover the hand that's lying on his knee with mine. "I'll respect whatever decision you make but I can't be your only motivator. If I am, one day you might look back and resent me for it, and I never _ever_ want that to happen."

"I'll never resent you, love," he says.

"You can't know that," I say.

"Yes, I can," he says as he laces our fingers together and raises our hands to his lips. "There's no way on earth that I could have hard feelings toward you when you've done nothing but encourage me to do what I think is best for me and for our family. It's an impossibility. Besides, I haven't made up my mind yet. And like I've said before, the only thing I know without a doubt is he will never hurt you or the kids. I won't allow that."

"Thank you," I say. "There's no hurry, you know. Marcus may want to know what you've decided but I want you to be absolutely positive about your decision."

"Well, right now I decide to have some ice cream," he says as we pull into the parking lot around the corner from the ice cream parlor.

"Okay. I get it. No more Marcus talk," I say.

"I appreciate it," he says. He leans across the seat and gives me a quick kiss. "I love you. You are the most important thing to me. I'll do everything within my power to keep you safe." Something in his tone makes me think he's not just talking about his father, and Molly's face flashes across my mind. Damn her! I wish I knew what she was up to. "Earth to Tris." I look toward the sound of his voice and find him standing outside my open door with Tessa in his arms and Tyler by his side, staring at me. I smile, feeling a bit foolish for obsessing when I said I wouldn't.

"Sorry," I say as I get out of the car and take Tessa so he can get the diaper bag. "I was just thinking about something unimportant." We walk around the corner, led by the aroma of the Italian restaurant and instead of going for ice cream, we stop for supper. We order lasagna, spaghetti and meatballs, and cheese ravioli, ensuring we have plenty of leftovers to take home with us. After we finish the delectable meal, we stop at the ice cream parlor next door as promised. We each get a small sundae and enjoy it in the old fashioned surroundings. After a little pleading on Tyler's part, we get a few pints of various flavors to take home. I have to say I really don't mind since there's a pint of each of my favorites, too.

"Come on, buddy," Tobias says, picking up Tyler who has a death grip on the sack full of ice cream. "Does anyone want to stop at the Ferris wheel and carrousel before we go home?" Tyler looks my way, pleading with his puppy dog eyes.

"What about the ice cream?" I ask.

"We can put it in the car's built in cooler to keep it frozen. What do you say?"

"Sounds good to me," I say. We look at Tyler, and he's bobbing his head up and down, excitedly. "It looks like Tyler wants to go home."

"Uh-uh! I go with you!"

"I'm sorry, buddy," I say. "I was just teasing."

"Not nice," he pouts.

"You're right," I say, caressing his cheek. "That wasn't nice of Mommy. I'm sorry."

"I 'give you," he brightly says.

"I'm glad you forgive me," I say with a chuckle. We once again pack the kids into the car and this time we drive to the Navy Pier. We ride the carrousel a few times then go over to the Ferris wheel. We pay for an hours' worth of rides then get into the gondola. Tobias holds Tyler so he can watch the city lights come on one building at a time until the cityscape is shining brightly in front of us.

"Wow!" he says. I can see the buildings reflected in his eyes, and his excitement is contagious. I hold Tessa up so she can see over my shoulder and she coos loudly.

"Do you like the view, too, little one?" I ask. When I look at her she's gnawing on her fist like it's a four-course meal. "Are you hungry?" She keeps chewing on her fist, and I take that as her answer. "I'm glad you brought the diaper bag, Tobias." I fish out a lightweight blanket and cover her head so I can nurse her. I lean back against the wall of the car and watch Tyler as he stares through the protective grid. The awe his expression is exuding tugs at my heartstrings. I love that he is so happy. It makes me happy. We continue round and round at a slow, measured pace. Just after Tessa finishes eating, the ride comes to a stop, and we slowly make our way toward the parking lot across the street, not wanting the evening to come to an end. Just before we reach the car, I hear footsteps rapidly moving away from us in the darkness, and I freeze.

"Did you hear that?" Tobias asks, suddenly sounding like Four.

"Yeah," I say, trying not to let the anxiety show in my voice but I'm not entirely successful. "This is just like the night of capture the flag when someone was out here watching me."

"Someone watch us?" Tyler asks, obviously scared.

"No one is watching us, buddy," Tobias says after he lifts him into his arms. Tyler wraps his arms round his father's neck, seeking comfort. "Let's go home." I want to tell him that I don't exactly feel comfortable getting in the car but I don't want to upset Tyler again.

"Don't you think you should check the car out?" I quietly ask with a smile painted on my face, deciding to go with my gut. I know he can't see me but I'm hoping the smile shows through in my voice for Tyler's sake. He would never forgive himself if one of us got hurt because we got in a car that's been tampered with. He sighs and opens the passenger door to bath us in a dim, soft blue light. He must see the fear I'm feeling in my face because he nods and kisses my forehead.

"You're right, love," he whispers in my ear. "Hey, buddy, will you stand here with Mommy while Daddy looks at the car?"

"Otay," Tyler says. He reluctantly lets go of Tobias' neck when he sits him on his feet then he grabs ahold of my leg.

"It's okay, buddy. There's nothing to be scared of," I say as I run my free hand through his hair. I'm not sure he believes me though because it seems like he's cutting the blood flow off to my foot. He finally releases my leg as I squat down and throws his arms round my neck instead. _God, I terrified him._ "Mommy has you. You're fine. Can you tell me what you liked most about today?" I try to get not only his mind off our visitors but my own as well.

"I like the pawk. I had fun."

"I had fun there, too," I say. "I really liked watching you on the Ferris wheel." He releases my neck and looks at me with such innocence on his little face.

"You did?"

"I sure did," I say. "You loved seeing the city light up, didn't you?" He nods and I finally get a smile out of him. "Can I have a kiss?" He leans forward and gives me a kiss then wraps his arms around my neck again. Tessa starts whining and he lets me go.

"Sowwy, Tess," he says then rubs her head.

"Careful with her," I say.

"Otay," he says.

"I think we can go home now," Tobias says as he comes around the front of the car.

"Alright," I say. We get the kids into their car seats then head home. I notice that he's very quiet, which is somewhat concerning. For the most part we had a wonderful day. I don't want him to stress over nothing … unless it wasn't nothing. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," he says. "I was just thinking about everything that needs to be done tomorrow."

"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask.

"It's really nothing," he says. "I was just coming up with the plan for the first day of practice simulations even though I could probably do it in my sleep." We're quiet on the rest of the way home, and before I know it, we're pulling up in front of the Pire. He parks the car and helps me get the kids inside and into bed before he unpacks the car and takes it to the garage.

I wait for him in the living room, needing to talk about everything that transpired today but he isn't in the mood for talking when he comes back. He practically attacks me on the couch. One minute I'm thinking of what I want to say and the next he has his tongue shoved halfway down my throat and the majority of our clothes are strewn over the furniture. He pulls me from the couch down onto the floor, kissing me passionately. I know something is wrong and that I should stop this and get him to talk but my resolve disappears along with my panties. He turns me in his arms so I can rest against the couch cushions and enters me fully in one driving thrust.

"Ah!" I cry out at the sudden yet welcome invasion. "Slow, Tobias. Slow," I pant. I feel his hot, rapid breath on the back of my neck as he kisses me.

"Sorry, love," he huskily says, his mouth pressed up against my sensitive right ear. He sticks his tongue in the canal as he begins an unhurried rhythm, pulling out excruciatingly slowly then driving home at the same measured pace. He keeps up this unrushed tempo until I find myself pushing back on his hard length harder and faster with each stroke. He snakes his hand around my hip and finds my throbbing nubbin, which is begging for attention. He caresses the aching bundle of nerves with an aggressive touch and picks up the pace further, slamming into me as I move back to meet him.

"Shit, Tobias," I moan. "Oh, God, baby!" The steep path he slowly led me up peaks, and I tumble down the other side. I bury my face in the couch cushions, screaming out my pleasure, mindful of our sleeping toddler. He continues his pounding rhythm until he grabs my hips, groans loudly, and empties himself into me. He collapses onto my back, and I welcome the cover of his body. He kisses my neck, ear, and jaw as we let our heart rates return to normal. "May I ask what brought that on?" He groans as he pulls out of me. I shift to sit on the floor with my back resting against the couch and he sits next to me.

"I wanted to be with you," he says.

"Tobias," I censure. I know he's not being honest right now. He reaches out and pulls his jeans to him. He gets something out of the pocket and hands it to me.

"I found this under the driver's side windshield wiper," he says, handing me a folded sheet of paper. My heart beats heavily, almost painfully, in my chest as I unfold the note.

It says, _I know what you did and you will pay. Don't get too comfortable._

"What the hell does this mean?"

"I don't know," he says, pulling me into his arms. I understand his attack better now. "First thing tomorrow I'm going to have Zeke go through the Navy Pier footage and see if there are any familiar faces hanging around before it got dark. I don't want you worrying about this, Tris." I stare at him. _How am I_ not _supposed to worry?_ It seems like someone is out to get us … _again_. I do the only thing I know to do during times of great stress, I reach out for him just as he reaches for me.


	50. Chapter 50

**A/N: Quote by unknown.**

* * *

I sit in my comfortable chair in the fear simulation room, waiting for Tobias to bring in the final misfit of the day, staring at the once blank wall across from me. Before initiation started, Tobias, Uriah, Christina, and I decided that it could use some sort of adornment to motivate the initiates. After a lot of research, I found a quote that I thought was appropriate: **_Courage is not the absence of fear but the acquired ability to move beyond fea_** _r_.We had it stenciled on the freshly painted white wall in a large, bold decorative font in black with red, orange, and yellow flames flowing through it. I don't know if it helps or not but at one time or another over the past four weeks, I've witnessed each one of the initiates diligently studying it before the serum sucked them into their fear simulation.

Nothing out of the ordinary has happened during the practice sims or at least that's what Tobias has told me. I took Isobel's stern advice and haven't been hooked up to the computer in an effort to keep my blood pressure and stress under control. I've basically sat in this borderline claustrophobic room, bored to death, and observed Tobias as he witnessed the initiates face common fears like spiders, rats, bats, death, storms, war, public speaking, life outside the fence, and becoming factionless and uncommon, somewhat odd fears like beards, puppets, wind, tunnels, balloons, singing, and trees. Tobias told me that I could stay at home with the kids and start my maternity leave early but I elected to do all the paperwork instead. Until initiation started I had no idea how much time and effort was expended on the day-to-day administration. Tobias makes it look easy.

This year there were no Divergents except for Avery, which we suspected before her initial serum administration. In her first simulation, she woke up in a dimly lit windowless room surrounded by glowing orange flames, and after a couple minutes of panic, she magically made the fire dissipate on its own. When she came out from under the serum, Tobias calmly asked her how she did it not wanting to startle her, and she told us she honestly didn't know; she wished they would go away and they did. We immediately went into the back hallway out of range of cameras, prying eyes, and eavesdropping busy bodies and told her that her parents were right about their suspicions without actually using the word Divergent and gave her advice on how to hide her manipulation of the simulations. Things have changed a lot in the city over the past year but divergence is still misunderstood and feared. Thankfully, she hasn't had any further problems, and no one is none the wiser.

Tobias finally comes through the door followed closely by Murphy who automatically sits in the reclining metal chair centered in the back of the room without being prompted while he brings up her file on the computer. I can't believe this is the final practice simulation of the year. Tobias, Uriah, Christina, and I are going to show the initiates the fear landscape room tomorrow morning and then after that, Tobias and I are free until we have to witness the final tests. I'm really looking forward to catching up on my sleep over the next four days. Sitting here doing nothing but paperwork is exhausting.

"Are you ready?" Tobias asks Murphy as he picks up the last syringe laying on the small table in the corner of the room.

"Bring it on, Four," she jovially says, desperately trying to hide her nervousness. I recognize the tone immediately. All the initiates have used it at one time or another. He gives her a smirk then injects the orange liquid into a vein on the left side of her neck. I was surprised the first time we were in this room with the initiates. He just explained how the serum worked and that was that. No good luck, no you'll do fine, no nothing. When I asked him about it later, he told me that I'm the only one he ever felt compelled to prepare going into the simulation so he told me to be brave.

As we sit and watch her fade into unconsciousness, Tobias applies the necessary wires to his temples that allow him to go into her simulation. He gives me a wink and a smile before he turns away and hits the record button on the computer. I note the start time and her heart rate in the paper log then watch my husband as he gets lost in her head. I love my job and I love spending time with him but I'm so glad this is basically over. If I'm honest with myself, this room is suffocating me. If I ever have any second thoughts about not doing this again next year or ever, all I have to do is remember these past four weeks.

As I mindlessly continue charting Murphy's progress throughout her fear simulation, my thoughts wander to Drew and Molly like they do most days. They've had me completely on edge for the past month wondering what they are up to. I'm convinced they're responsible for the threatening note left on our car at the Navy Pier. I keep having nightmares about authorities showing up at our door, taking our kids away from us and giving them to Ethan Black, and making us factionless because we broke some unwritten rule stating instructors and initiates can't fraternize during initiation. Tobias assures me that can't happen … no one can take Tyler and Tessa from us because they are legally ours, and we didn't do anything that warrants being made factionless. Intellectually, I know this is true but my fears are getting the best of me, and it's driving everyone around me crazy.

Even though I'm convinced, Tobias has his doubts that Drew and Molly are the ones behind the note even though she confronted me in the ladies bathroom at the park earlier that very day. He thinks it's more likely that Marcus is messing with our heads but the juvenile tone of the note just doesn't fit his style. Unfortunately, we've been bickering about it. I'd call it full-fledged arguing but after a while he has the tendency to just smile and nod, thinking my rage is all pregnancy hormones, which _really_ pisses me off. We had Zeke go through all the security footage near the Navy Pier from that night but he didn't see any familiar faces in the sea of people milling around the Ferris wheel and carrousel that afternoon and evening. Unfortunately, there weren't any cameras focused on the parking area but there are now.

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Murphy's heart rate peak then gradually start to descend and know she has conquered whatever fear she's been facing the past five minutes or so. After a couple seconds, her eyes fly open, and she looks confused as she takes in her surroundings. When her eyes meet mine, I give her a compassionate smile, and she sits up and buries her face in her hands.

"You did very well, Murphy," Tobias says. "You can go for the evening. We'll be gathering in the cafeteria tomorrow morning after breakfast. Please don't be late."

"Okay, Four," she says. She carefully gets to her feet and makes her way out the door after making sure she's not too unsteady.

"Which fear was it this time?" I ask when the door closes behind her.

"Spiders," he says. Spiders don't exactly scare me but they do kind of freak me out. I'm glad I've never had to witness the actual simulation. He leans back in his chair with his fingers locked behind his head and looks at me. "Can you believe it's almost over?"

"You have no idea how happy that makes me," I say. "I don't know how you've done three years of this. I thought I knew what I was getting myself into but I was wrong."

"Didn't I prepare you well enough?" he asks with an easy smile on his face. I could be mistaken but I think my husband is flirting with me.

"Of course, you did," I say returning his smile but then I frown. "I just had no idea how … tiresome initiation can be on this end. Sitting in that chair," I point at the metal reclining chair, "can be terrifying and because you have to practice again and again, it is emotionally draining. However, sitting here observing the initiates is just mind-numbingly tedious." He gets out of his chair after quickly saving her file and turning off the computer and pulls me out of my chair.

"You could have been at home all this time," he says. "It was your choice to be here with me."

"I know. You're right," I say. "You won't hear another peep out of me about initiation."

"That's my girl," he says. He lowers his mouth toward mine but right before his lips land on mine a knock on the door interrupts us and we both groan. "Come in." The door opens and Zeke and Will walk in.

"Hey guys," Zeke says. "Do you two have a minute?"

"Sure," we say at the same time.

"What is it?" Tobias asks.

"I found something strange on the surveillance tapes from the day Sam was murdered," Zeke says. "It's something I overlooked until this morning."

"When he realized the significance, he called me," Will says. "I know you should have been shown the footage immediately, Four, but I made the decision to wait until the final initiate was done for the day. No need interrupting when it's so close to the end."

"What did you find?" I ask, apprehensively.

"I think it's best we show you in my office," Zeke says. This doesn't sound good. We turn off the lights and secure the room then head into the back hallway.

"Have you talked to your mom since she started her new job?" Will asks as we make our way to the control room. Two days into the fear simulation practices, I had to get Christina to cover for me with the initiates so I could go to Abnegation for the unscheduled council meeting to find a replacement council member for Helen Reiter who died of a massive heart attack on visiting day. The list of potential replacements was small but impressive with such big Abnegation names as Ellie Black; Jonah Thomson's widow, Melissa; and to my surprise, my own mother. After confirming with the rest of the council members that the members were indeed okay with the potential appointment, we voted, and Mom won by a landslide. She is highly respected in Abnegation not only because she is married to my dad but because of all of her accomplishments. After the meeting was over, Dad, Caleb, and I went to the food bank where Mom was working to give her the good news. I could tell she was thrilled and honored to be picked for such a prestigious job but I'm not 100% sure my dad shared her excitement. The more I'm around the two the more worried I get. He just doesn't seem to be the same person since his head injuries and surgery but I can't get Mom to confide in me. I just hope she's talking to someone.

"We talked late last week, and she absolutely loves it," I say. "I swear she was born for that job. She's the most selfless person I know."

"I'm glad she likes it," he says. "Christina told me you're moving into your new place soon. I bet Tyler's happy about that." Unfortunately, we haven't been able to move yet because Gunner injured his hand installing Tyler's bedroom furniture, and Zander told him to take a few weeks off to let it heal. He just started working on it again last Thursday afternoon, and we have one week left before we get to move. Tobias and I are really excited about the move but it's Tyler who is the most eager. He asks every night before bed when he gets to see his new room.

"Will, are you trying to keep my mind off of whatever Zeke found?" I ask. "Because it's not really working."

"Is it that obvious?" he asks with a sheepish grin.

"Yeah, it is," I say.

"I'm sorry," he says. "I know that it's best for you not to get stressed out right now." I stop in my tracks and put my hands on my hips, pissed. Tobias, Zeke, and Will halt when I do, nearly running into me.

"When will you all learn that keeping me in the dark stresses me out _more_ than just telling me what's going on?" I say, exasperated … my hormones in overdrive.

"Will was just being a good friend, Tris, thinking about you and the baby," Tobias says then mumbles something unintelligible under his breath. "Maybe you should go home and rest. We'll take care of this, and I'll fill you in later."

"Don't you dare treat me like some fragile little girl, _Four_. I'm sick of it," I hiss, getting in his face. "I'm pregnant, not helpless."

"Zeke, Will, why don't you go on ahead. We'll catch up with you later," Tobias says, his voice low but firm, not taking his eyes off of mine. I hold his heated gaze, not backing down, while Zeke and Will walk away from us. "What's your problem now?" I narrow my eyes trying to fight the building moisture. _I will not cry. I will not cry._

"Are we or are we not partners?"

"You know we are," he says, his voice devoid of feeling. He's masking how he's feeling, acting like Four.

"Then stop trying to leave me out of things just because I'm pregnant," I plead. "You have no idea how frustrating it is to have everyone second guessing me all the time ... pussyfooting around me. I know that you're just looking out for me and the baby but honestly you're annoying the hell out of me, which can't be good for Peanut either." He stares down into my eyes and irritation flashes across his face. "Baby, you have to start trusting me. I will never let anything happen to me or this baby." I run my hands over my bump. I swear if she grows much more, she's going to run out of room. He finally breaks my stare and gazes at the ceiling for a few minutes, frustratingly running his hands through his hair.

"Do you know why I worry about you so much? You are predisposed to the same disease that killed my mother, and you disregard Isobel's advice time and again about keeping your stress under control. I'm sure Evelyn thought she was doing all the right things when she was pregnant with Tessa but it didn't matter. _She_. _Died_." He takes my hands in his and gets his face in mine. "Do you have any idea what I would do if I lost you? I can't live without you, Tris, so if I am overprotective, sobeit. You've got to stop fighting me on this."

"I didn't mean to lose my temper but you're suffocating me," I say.

"That's not my intention but you know I worry about you and the baby … a lot." He abruptly straightens up and releases my hands. "And _don't_ call me Four like that. You know I hate it." I look toward the floor and roll my eyes. We're not getting anywhere.

"We should get to the control room," I say, abruptly turning around. "Zeke and Will are waiting on us."

"This conversation isn't over," he says with an exasperated sigh. We're quiet the rest of the way to the control room. I try to determine if my irritated stubbornness is warranted, and I think it is, which causes my mood to become even darker. We walk into the control room and straight into the supervisor's office where Zeke and Will are waiting for us.

"Alright. What's this bombshell you found?" I ask, ignoring the tense atmosphere. We all stand staring at each other, unmoving. "Well?" I can't keep the irritation out of my voice. Zeke is the first to move. He closes and locks the door behind him then goes to his desk, which sits before a wall lined with monitors. All the footage playing on the screens is dizzying. I don't know how he can stand looking at it for too long. He types on his keyboard, and all the monitors go black except for one small one directly in front of his chair. He scrolls through the footage, and I can't tell exactly which part of Dauntless is scrolling across the screen since so many areas in the compound resemble each other. He gets the footage where he wants it then pauses it. He gets up from his seat and offers it to me. I thank him then sit down. I feel Tobias hovering over my right shoulder but don't acknowledge his presence. I'm still pissed at him.

"This footage is from approximately 5:00 a.m. on the same morning that Sam was killed. It's taken in an isolated hallway near the cafeteria. Like I said earlier it didn't jump out at me as particularly strange until I remembered where I saw the face." He leans over my left shoulder and hits a single key on the keyboard, and the picture come to life. My eyes are glued to the screen, waiting for the big revelation. After a couple seconds I see it.

"Holy shit!" I say, excited and terrified at the same time. "Tell me we don't have a problem, Four."


	51. Chapter 51

"This is impossible," Tobias says as dumbfounded as I am. "She shouldn't have access to the compound. Zeke, why didn't you find this earlier?"

"I don't have any excuses, Four," Zeke says. "I knew she looked familiar but I couldn't quite place the face until this morning but the minute I remembered who she was I got ahold of Will. I'm really sorry. If I would have recognized her, this might all be over by now." There in vibrant color is Molly having an animated conversation with someone who is standing just out of range of the camera.

"How the hell did she get in here?" Tobias asks, more to himself than to anyone in the room. I spin the office chair around and come face to face with him.

"What if she was the one Brody saw coming out of the hidden tunnel?" I ask. "Anyone can catch a train, especially an ex-Dauntless initiate. I know that entrance is supposed to be locked except on Choosing Day but I know from experience that isn't always the case. That's the only way I can think someone could get in here undetected." We never did figure out how Cameron and his accomplices got into the compound but if you believed what he said, anyone dressed in black could waltz in and out of here at leisure. I hoped he was lying but maybe he wasn't. Maybe they jump into the net then, since they're wearing black, blend in.

"You may have a point," Tobias says. "Zeke, have you had a chance to look over the footage from the new camera this week?"

"No," he says. "I've got to be honest, Four. We're shorthanded around here. I was never replaced after I took your job and Will's spot is still open. We're really spread thin. I caught one of my guys sleeping on the night shift." Tobias starts to say something but Zeke stops him. "I already reamed him a new one but I felt bad for him, too. He's got a new baby at home, his shifts have been extended. He's physically and emotionally worn out. I should have given him a couple days off not only as punishment for sleeping on the job but also so he can get some sleep but I can't afford to be without him."

"Do you know of any fence workers who you think could do the job?" Tobias asks.

"What about Nathan?" I say. "He's been on the fence for all these years because of his low ranking during his initiation not because he couldn't do the job."

"I like that idea," Tobias says. "Would one new hire help until the initiates choose early next week?"

"Yes, it definitely would," Zeke says. "I'll make the arrangements as soon as we're done here."

"Good," Tobias says. "I want to watch this footage again." He turns my seat back around then rewinds the footage, inching closer to the screen until he's practically nose-to-nose with the monitor. "Who is she talking with? Damn, it's so frustrating. Whoever it is never enters into the camera's range." Every once in a while a sweatshirt-clad arm comes into view.

"Look at this," I say as I pause the footage. "Zeke, do you have the picture of the unknown person roaming around the morning of Sam's death?" He shuffles some papers on the corner of his desk then hands me a large photo. I compare the photo to the still on the monitor then hold it up. "What do you think?" I point out the similarities to Tobias, Zeke, and Will.

"Is that the same person?" Will asks. Tobias takes the photo from me and closely looks it over.

"Yeah, I think it is," he says, confirming my suspicions. "There's a flaw in the fabric right here." He points first to the photograph and then to the monitor. "Tris, you're absolutely brilliant." He wraps his arms around me and gives me a quick but passionate kiss. When he releases me, he leaves his arm draped over my shoulders.

"If I was brilliant, I'd know why Molly was here, who she was arguing with, and if they had anything to do with Sam's death. I'm feeling even more frustrated now. We have so many unanswered questions."

"Yeah, we do," Tobias sighs. "But if it weren't for you and your excellent powers of observation, we'd be that much more in the dark. Zeke, is there a way to run facial recognition on all security footage from, let's say, the past three months? I want to know how many times Molly has been in this compound and who she's been talking with."

"I won't lie, it will take some time but it can be done," he says.

"Pick your most trustworthy people and have them help you," Tobias says.

"Zeke, I hate to add to your work but I think you need to scan for Drew also. Where you find one of Peter's minions I'm confident you'll find the other."

"I remember that creep," he says with a scary look on his face. "If I would have seen his face on the videos, I would have recognized it immediately. I only saw his little girlfriend once or twice." _Molly and Drew a couple?_ No. Then again, no one else would want them. "I'll get both their photos from their inactive files and run them through facial recognition. Like I said, it will take some time, especially since I'm already shorthanded."

"I'm sorry but we have to pick up the kids," I say as I glance at the clock on the wall. "If we don't leave now, we're not going to get there on time."

"You're right," Tobias says, clasping his hand on his best friend's shoulder. "Zeke, I'll check in with you tomorrow afternoon to see how things are going. Thanks for bringing this to our attention."

"I'll get right on the search," He says. We say our goodbyes then head out of the control room.

"Will you do something for me, Tris?" Tobias asks. I try to keep my reaction in check because I know what's coming. "Will you go home, love, so you can rest and I'll go get the kids? Please? I don't want to fight with you anymore but you really don't need to walk all the way to the Pit and back."

"Okay," I say, giving in to his wishes. "I'm tired and could use some rest. Why don't you up pick up some pizza or the ingredients to make one. That way we can have a nice quiet, lazy night at home."

"That sounds like a great idea," he says. He glides his hand down my face, his look remorseful.

"I'm sorry about earlier," I say. "I know we still have a lot to talk about but I hate fighting with you. Let's promise each other not to get angry again about this topic. It seems to bring out the worse in me especially. We're both in unchartered waters with this pregnancy, and I think our nerves are starting to get to both of us."

"I think you're right about that," he says. "I love you, Tris. Now go home and lie down. Take care of our little Peanut."

"I love you, too, Tobias," I whisper in his ear. "I'll see you soon." We part and go our separate ways. Within minutes I'm lying on the couch propped up on several pillows. I looked for the fuzzy gray throw but I couldn't find it so I gave up. I close my eyes and wonder what Molly is up to. First she confronted me at the park? Was it a coincidence or did someone tip her off that we would be there? Then she left that note on our car. I'm even more convinced of that now. And why is she breaking into Dauntless, and who is she coming to see? It's so frustrating to be asking these kinds of questions again for the third time in less than a year. Will Tobias' and my life ever be simple?

"Mommy? Awe you awake?" Tyler loudly whispers from right in front of me. The next thing I hear is his little footsteps running away toward the kitchen. "Daddy, I think hew still sleepin'."

"Leave her alone, buddy," Tobias quietly says. "She needs her rest."

"Something smells wonderful," I say, groaning as I struggle to sit up.

"Mommy!" Tyler yells as Tessa coos loudly from her swing.

"Hi guys," I say. Tyler runs over to me and crawls up onto the couch and throws his arms around my neck.

"Did I wake up you?" he asks.

"It was time for Mommy to get up," I say giving him a hug and a kiss on the head. "Can you tell me what we're having for supper?" Tyler turns around on the couch and looks at his father for help.

"Sauce and?" he says, frowning.

"Sausage and pepperoni pizza," Tobias says.

"Sausage and peppewoni pizza," Tyler says, turning his head to look at me.

"Tyler also helped me make a Caesar salad and garlic breadsticks with a parmesan cheese dipping sauce."

"I helped Daddy," he excitedly says, "but I had to be quiet. Was I quiet?"

"You sure were," I say, ruffling his hair. "I didn't hear a thing."

"Supper is almost ready," Tobias calls out. Tyler and I get up off the couch, and I help him climb up into his booster chair then sit down next to him.

"Owe!" I cry out and rub where Peanut just kicked. Well punched is a better description actually. She's definitely going to be a fighter. Tobias turns and looks at me with worry in his eyes. "She's using me as a punching bag tonight, and I swear she just landed a knockout punch. Dang that hurt." Tyler reaches over and rubs my belly and Peanut kicks again then starts stretching. Tyler's face freezes and he looks up at me, stunned. "It's alright, buddy. She's just moving around. She's growing and doesn't have a lot of room in there anymore."

"You otay?" he asks, worried.

"I sure am," I say. "Did you have a good day?" He tells us all about his day while we eat the delicious meal they prepared. He's very animated when he's talking about Zane, Elliott, and Mia but his face falls when he talks about Bobby. Part of me feels that the sooner we get a nanny and get him away from Bobby Ridinger the better but another part of me thinks that if we don't nip this … rivalry is the only word I can think of … in the bud then when Tyler enters lower levels, he could be bullied, and I won't tolerate that for one minute.

After we finish with supper, Tobias and I sit with the kids and watch a movie we've never seen before about toys that come to life when there are no people around. What a fun story. Whoever came up with that idea was a genius. It keeps Tyler's attention throughout but most movies do.

"Love, I have an hour or two of work I need to do," Tobias says when I'm getting ready to take the kids upstairs to get them ready for bed. "Will you be alright here by yourself?" On top of everything that's been going on lately, now he's worried about the fact that we have proof that Molly's been coming into Dauntless.

"Of course, I'll be fine," I say. "Wake me up if I happen to be asleep. We need to talk."

"Okay," he says.

"Say goodnight to Daddy, Tyler," I say. He runs to Tobias who snatches him up in his arms for a big hug and kiss.

"You be good for Mommy," he says. "I love you, buddy."

"Love you," Tyler says. "Moon and back."

"Yep! To the moon and back." He sets Tyler on his feet then kisses Tessa who just happens to be in my arms. "I love you, Pebbles, and I love you, Tris. I'll be home soon."

"Bye," we say as he walks out the door, securing it behind him.

"Come on, buddy," I say. "You need a bath before you go to bed. I'll let you play for a little while but when I tell you it's time to get out I don't want an argument. Okay?"

"Otay, Mommy," he says. "But I play long time. Otay?"

"We'll see," I say. "Maybe I'll give Tessa her bath while you're in the tub. How does that sound?"

"Let's go," he excitedly says. He grabs my hand and nearly drags me up the stairs and into the bathroom. He sure does love a bath! I sit Tessa in her bouncy chair then help Tyler get in the tub and squeaky clean.

"You can play now, buddy," I say. "Mommy's going to give sissy her bath." He smiles then continues playing with his new wooden boats. I get Tessa's bathtub out of the linen closet and sit it on the floor next to the big tub. When I sit down on the floor, I wonder momentarily if I'll be able to get back up but shake off the negative thought when Tessa smiles brightly at me. She's so much like her brother. She loves her baths, too. "Come here, little one." I lift her out of the bouncy chair, take off her onesie and diaper, and sit her in the plastic tub. I don't rush her bath, giving Tyler extra time to play and wear himself out.

"I can't believe you're still in the bathtub," Tobias says from the doorway. Have we been in here that long? No, he must not have had as much work to do as he thought.

"I playin'," Tyler says matter-of-factly.

"Can you take her?" I say, holding up a squirming naked Tessa before Tobias. "I'll help Tyler get ready for bed."

"Hey, Pebbles," he says as he takes her, garnering a huge smile from her. He holds her up and she reaches out and touches both sides of his face with her little hands then babbles a little bit. "Daddy loves you, too, little one." He kisses her cheek, and she laughs out loud. "Let's get you ready so mommy can feed you then get you to bed."

"Time to get out, buddy," I say after I manage to pull myself up off the floor, dry off Tessa's tub, and put it away.

"Otay," he sighs dramatically. I have to fight laughing as I get him dried off and into his dinosaur PJs.

"Are you ready for bed?" I ask.

"Not weally," he sighs.

"Let's ask Daddy if he'll read you a story before you go to sleep," I say. He nods and runs into Tessa's room.

"Will you wead to me, Daddy? Peas!" he asks flashing his puppy dog eyes at his father. They are his greatest weapon. It's nearly impossible to tell him no when he looks at you that way.

"I tell you what, let's get you into bed then I'll read you _one_ story. Okay?"

"Otay!" Tyler says. "'Night, Mommy."

"Goodnight, buddy," I say. "Sleep well. I love you."

"Love you," he says as he hugs my legs. Then he kisses my tummy and says, "'Night baby. Night, Tess. Come on, Daddy."

"Well, alright," Tobias says with a chuckle as he places Tessa in my arms. He picks up Tyler and throws him over his shoulder then gives me a quick peck on the lips before leaving me with Tessa. I sit in her rocking chair and think about what Zeke found while she nurses. Why would Molly show back up now? Why is she doing this? Who is helping her? Is Drew involved? What about Edward and Myra? All four of them were extremely upset at Evelyn's memorial service. From the stories they told about her, they all held her in such high regard. Do they hold us responsible for taking her away from them? It seems farfetched but it's an idea.

I try to shake off the negativity and decide to concentrate on Tessa for the rest of her feeding and forget about our problems. As she continues to nurse, I quietly talk to her, which she obviously likes, and by the time she finishes, her eyelids are drooping. We continue gently rocking until she is steadily breathing deeply, and I know that moving her won't wake her. After I kiss her little head, I lie her in the middle of her crib then grab her monitor and search out Tobias. I trudge down the stairs and hear him talking to someone.

"I don't know what to do anymore," he's saying. His pained tone stops me in my tracks and all l can do is stand on the stairs and listen. "I'm so afraid something is going to happen to her or the baby … She won't listen to Isobel. She won't listen to me … I can't relive those last few weeks I spent with my mom in the hospital, I just can't do it … She gets so angry … I know it's probably just hormones talking but it's so unlike her to be this stubborn … Really? I guess I can see that … I don't know what I would do if I lost her, Natalie. She's my world and right now it seems like she just doesn't care about that … Thanks for the advice, and thanks for listening. I can always count on you. It's nice having a mother-in-law who cares … I love you, too. I'll tell her you called … Bye." I'm speechless by what I just overheard. He talks to my mom? Wow! Have I been dismissing his feelings? I kind of thought it was the other way around but hearing him talk to her makes me see things a little differently. I take a deep breath and continue down the stairs.

"Both kids are asleep," I say.

"I had to read Tyler two stories before he would close his eyes," he says with a chuckle. He takes my hand and leads me to the couch where we snuggle close to each other. I sigh as he gently rubs my lower back, and I lie my head on his shoulder. "I have something to run by you. Let me know what you think. We have most of the next four days off since Uriah and Christina will be dealing with the initiates through the fear landscape phase. I was thinking about helping Zeke out in the control room. He's shorthanded because of decisions I made and I feel bad. Plus there is so much footage to go over looking for Molly and Drew. What do you think?"

"I think it's a great idea," I say. "You would have to teach me exactly what to do but I could put in some hours, too."

"You don't have to do that," he says.

"I want to help, Tobias," I say. "Let me help."

"I'll run it by Zeke," he says. "Are we going to talk about what you overheard earlier?" I tense up in his arms, close my eyes, and blow out the breath I'm holding.

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop," I say. "I know that's rude but something in your voice froze me in my tracks. Do you confide in my mother often?"

"I like talking to her," he says. "She never judges, never raises her voice, and only gives advice when asked but to answer your question, no, I don't talk with her often. She just somehow knew that I needed someone to talk to tonight."

"I'm sorry, Tobias," I say. I wrestle my way out of his arms and turn to look at him. I study his face while I try to figure out how I feel and what to say. He looks tired and older than his 19 years. I reach up and cup his cheek, and he leans into my hand. "I don't know what to say. My feelings haven't changed. I don't want to be treated differently just because I'm pregnant."

"Tris," he starts but I put my fingers over his lips.

"Sshh. Let me get this out please. Okay?"

"Okay."

"It makes me angry that you don't trust me," I say. "I would _never_ do anything to intentionally put myself or our baby in danger. I think deep down inside," I place my hand over his heart, "that you know that, too, but what I haven't taken into consideration is how much your mother's illness and death affected you. I heard the fear in your voice when you were talking to my mom. I've never heard it before. I don't know why. I'm sure it's been there. Tobias, I'm not your mom."

"I know you're not. Thank God you're not," he says. "I'm sure if she hadn't gone through what she did I wouldn't be so overprotective right now but I watched her struggle in the hospital, and I don't want that for you. Losing you … losing my kids … it's my greatest fear ... you know that. You witnessed it right along with me. Why take the risk?"

"Stubbornness, I guess," I say. "In case you haven't noticed, I hate being told what to do, and I especially hate being told I can't do something."

"Your mom told me you were a stubborn child," he says. I can hear humor in his voice. "At first I didn't see it but I should have. I guess instead of calling it stubbornness I called it independence. It's one of the things that attracted me to you, still does."

"And right now it's driving you crazy," I say.

"I won't lie," he says. "You're driving me up the wall, Beatrice Grace. Part of me wants to lock you in the bedroom and not for the purposes of making love."

"I'm too tired to make love," I say, frowning at him. He gives me a magnificent smile and pulls me back into his arms. We tangle our legs together on the ottoman as he rubs my back and shoulders with one hand.

"I know," he says.

"Have we resolved anything, Tobias?" I ask.

"I don't know. I'd really like for you to stay home and rest until the baby comes. You're nearly nine months along," he says. "I won't force you though. Ultimately, it has to be your decision. You're the one carrying the baby. And by the way, I do trust you. I'm just afraid of losing you. Now you know exactly how I feel."

"I'm really sorry if I ever made you think I was dismissing your feelings, I didn't mean to. I hate when I'm the one who hurts you," I say. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him close to me. I press my lips to his and kiss him tenderly. When we part, I caress his face softly and gaze into his eyes. "I can't promise to stay home each and every day until she's born but I will make a greater effort to rest and watch my stress. It won't be easy with this crap with Molly happening right now though."

"She's not worth getting yourself worked up," he says.

"You're damned right she's not," I say with a sigh. "What I wouldn't give if she had never come back into our lives."

"Let's not talk about her anymore tonight. I know we'll have to soon enough but tonight let's forget about everything else."

"Sounds good," I say. "Maybe we should take this upstairs."

"I thought you said you were tired," he says, hope in his voice.

"I _am_ tired, baby," I say. "But maybe we can have a bath or I would take a massage."

"Whatever you want, love," he says.

"I just want to be with you," I say. "I love you, Tobias Eaton."

"I love you, too, my beautiful Beatrice," he says. "My life wouldn't be complete without you. I'm so glad I have you. Now let's get you into bed, and I'll give you a massage."

"Sounds good," I say.


	52. Chapter 52

"Tris, love, it's time to get up. Wake up, sleepy head." I grunt, resisting opening my weighted eyelids. "Come on, Beatrice Grace Eaton. I let you sleep as long as I could. You need to get up." I struggle to open my eyes and finally manage to drag them open. "There's your beautiful eyes. Good morning, my Six." He doesn't call me that often so it brings a smile to my lips.

"Four," I groggily say. He leans over and lightly presses his lips to mine and gives me a soft good morning kiss. "What time is it?"

"It's a quarter to 7," he says. That wakes me up.

"Why didn't you get me up earlier?" I ask as I flip the covers off me and quickly get out of bed … well as quickly as I can at nearly nine months pregnant. I frantically move throughout our bedroom picking out clothes for today.

"Hey, hey. Slow down," he says, grabbing my arm and pulling me to him. "I got Tyler up and dressed. I gave Tessa a bottle and put her in the cutest little outfit. All you have to do is take a shower and get ready to go to breakfast. I think I left you plenty of time." I throw my arms around his neck and pull his mouth to mine for a slow, unhurried kiss.

"Good morning, Mr. Eaton," I breathlessly say, panting.

"God, I never tire of hearing you say that," he roughly says, still winded himself. "Good morning, Mrs. Eaton. Get ready. We'll be downstairs waiting for you."

"Okay," I say. I give him a sweet little kiss on the cheek then swat his behind as I sashay to the closet.

"You're in a good mood today," he says.

"I feel great right now," I say. "There's no pain in my back. My hormones seem in check. I have tons of energy. I could probably pack the entire apartment by myself but I want to go to the control room with you this afternoon. That's if you don't mind."

"I'm fine with it," he says. "Just promise to call it quits if you get too tired."

"I can do that," I say. "You better check on the kids. They're being much too quiet."

"Okay. I'll be downstairs. I love you."

"I love you, too," I say. "Now leave me alone."

"Your wish is my command, love," he calls out as he moves down the hall toward the stairs and I shake my head. That man! I open my closet and pick out an outfit then head into the bathroom. I'm in and out of the shower within five minutes just like most days. After I rub my coconut oil lotion all over my body, focusing on my belly, I slip into the comfortable black yoga pants, dark gray and black wide stripped tank top, and black walking shoes. I style my hair then pull out my makeup bag. Hhm. _Where's my eyeliner?_ Why can't I find it? I just used it yesterday. Did I not put it away? I search the sink top and all around the vanity on the floor but still don't see it. I go to my little-used makeup basket with the intention of grabbing my black eyeliner and find my everyday soft gray liner. _How?_ Am I losing my mind? I know damn well I didn't put it there but I guess if I dropped it Tobias might have put it in there. I grab the liner and quickly do my makeup then put it all away and wipe off the sink. After I turn off the light, I head downstairs.

"Alright, who's ready to go to breakfast?" I ask. Tobias gets up off the couch and hands me Tessa who smiles her wide toothless grin when she sees me. She's absolutely adorable in the sleeveless slate blue peasant shirt with a floral design on the neckline, floral shorts, and headband with a floral bow that he put her in. "Aren't you the cutest thing I've ever seen?"

"Hi, Mommy," Tyler says. "I weady!"

"Hi, buddy," I say as I ruffle his hair lovingly. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah," he says. "I hungwy. Let's go."

"Alrighty then," Tobias chuckles. When we get to the path, Tyler begs his father to be carried so Tobias puts him on his shoulders. I hold Tessa tightly facing away from me as she kicks her legs back and forth and jabbers and coos loudly.

"Who are you talking to, little one?" She looks up over her shoulder at me and smiles brightly then excitedly kicks even more and continues babbling. "Is that so?" I kiss her temple as we continue our walk to the cafeteria.

"Tris! Four!" We turn at the sound of our names and find Nathan jogging up to us.

"Is everything alright, Nathan?" Tobias worriedly asks.

"Everything is fantastic," he says, somewhat out of breath. "I wanted to thank the both of you. Zeke offered me a job in the control room. He wouldn't confirm it but I have an idea that I have you to thank."

"Zeke is very shorthanded and after discussing it, we decided to promote a fence worker," Tobias says. "Of course, your name came up but if we didn't think you were up for the challenge it wouldn't have been offered to you."

"Thank you," he says. "I really needed this change. I won't let you down."

"Of course, you won't," I say. "Hey, how are things with Abigail?" Abigail is Hana's best friend who he met the weekend before initiation started at the Candor or Dauntless party. From what I've seen, they've been inseparable ever since.

"They're wonderful," he says with a sappy look on his face. "I didn't know what love was until I met her. You know I almost didn't go that night. You have no idea how thankful I am that I let Avery and Callen talk me into it."

"We were happy to see you there, too," I say. "That was a fun night. Once Four and I get into our new place we're going to have a get together on our rooftop deck. Will you bring Abigail?"

"We'd love to come," he says.

"We'll let you know when it will be," I say.

"Mommy, I hungwy," Tyler says.

"I better let you go," Nathan says. "I've got to be running anyway. It was nice seeing you."

"It was nice seeing you, too," Tobias says. "I'm sure Tris and I will see you later this afternoon in the control room. We're going to be helping out."

"I'll see you then. Have a good breakfast."

"Thanks!" Tyler says. "Bye."

"Bye, Tyler," he says with a chuckle. "Enjoy your breakfast."

"I will!" Out of the corner of my eye, I see Abigail walk into the cafeteria as does Nathan. We say our final goodbyes then head to the food line after sending Tyler to our table. I make Tyler a plate full of French toast sticks with blueberry syrup, crispy bacon, and mixed berries with a dollop of whipped cream and get myself bacon and three cheese quiche with a baked apple.

"That looks good," Tobias says after we sit down.

"I felt like having something different today," I say. I take a bite of the apple and moan. _Damn, that's good._

"Is it good?" Christina asks with an odd but humorous look on her face.

"It must be. She sounds like Uriah when he eats cake," Zeke says with a chuckle. I roll my eyes and continue with my breakfast while my friends tease me. I _must_ be in a good mood or all this taunting would probably piss me off but instead I'm laughing right along with them.

"We better get the kids to daycare," I say after we each finish our breakfast. "It's nearly time to show the initiates the fear landscape room."

"Okay," he says. "You ready to go, Tyler?"

"Do I have to?" he asks, pouting.

"Yeah, you do," I quietly say. "Mommy and Daddy have to work." He sighs dramatically and lowers his head.

"Otay," he says. Tobias and I look at each other. Is he having problems again and hasn't told us? I take Tessa back from Christina who has been playing with her the past 10 minutes or so, and we get up from the table. Tobias lifts Tyler into his arms, and we go out onto the Pit floor.

"Hi, Mrs. Wheeler," I say when we get to the daycare center. "Can we talk?"

"Look, there's Zane," Tobias says. He lets Tyler down, and he goes running into the playroom.

"Is Tyler having problems with Bobby Ridinger again?" I ask. "He didn't want to come here this morning."

"I haven't witnessed anything," she says, a thoughtful expression on her face. "Everything around here has been rather quiet the past couple weeks."

"Okay," I say. "I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions. He usually wants to come and play with Zane, Emma, Mia, and Elliott."

"Those five are inseparable," she laughs. "I'll keep an eye out for anything out of the ordinary and report anything I see."

"Thanks," I say. I kiss Tessa's head and hand her over then I stick my head into the playroom. "Bye, Tyler."

"Bye, Mommy," he says. "Bye, Daddy. See you latew." We wave at him then head back into the cafeteria. We notice that our table is empty except for Uriah and Christina.

"Are you ready for this?" Uriah asks when he sees us.

"Definitely," I say. "I've been looking forward to handing over the initiates to you two for weeks."

"Why do I get the feeling you're not doing this again?" Christina asks.

"Because I'm not," I state matter-of-factly. "Four says he's not either but I think he might change his mind."

"If I can find someone trustworthy to hand the transfers over to, I'm done," he says.

"I think I would be the ideal person to take over for you in the fear simulation practices," Uriah says.

"Yeah, you would," Tobias says. He would be perfect, too. He would help guide the Divergent since he's one himself. "But we have an entire year to think about that. I'll take it under advisement. Should we get this show on the road?" We all agree so we get up and Tobias shouts, "Hey, initiates! Gather round." The transfers and Dauntless-born move from where they're sitting to stand in front of us. "As I told you yesterday, we'll be doing something a little different today, so follow us." Uriah, Christina, Tobias, and I lead the initiates out of the cafeteria and onto the Pit floor then up the winding path that leads to the Pire. Once we reach the fear landscape room, Tobias opens the door and ushers everyone into the huge, damp space. "This is the fear landscape room." I notice the graffitied walls have been painted over with a crisp, fresh bright white and the old-fashioned fluorescent lighting has been updated with energy efficient LED lighting that casts a soft white glow on the space. Tobias even asked Gunner to come in and repaint Dauntless on the back wall. I thought he was just going to redo the red decorative scroll but he made it look like flames moving through black block letters. I really like it.

"In here you will be placed under a type of simulation you have never experienced before," Uriah says. "While you were going through your practice sims the past four weeks, Four and Tris saved all the data about the fears you faced. The fear landscape computer, which is through there," he points at the two way mirror on the wall, "will access these fears and present you a series of obstacles you need to move through as quickly as possible. You've faced some of the obstacles before but some may be new. The major difference between the practice simulations and the fear landscape is you will be aware in the fear landscape and have your wits about you as you maneuver your way through."

"The number of fears in your landscape will vary from person to person," I say. "Some of you may have as few as 7 or 8 while others of you may have as many as 20." I notice this takes the initiates by surprise but none of them complain like Peter did last year.

"I told you when we started that the final phase of initiation focuses on mental preparation," Tobias says. "You will be using everything we taught you in phase one, the physical part, and phase two, the emotional part, because the fear landscape requires you to control both your body and your emotions."

"On Sunday, you all will go through your fear landscape as quickly as you can in front of a panel of Dauntless leaders including Four and Tris," Christina says. "This will be your final test. Just as phase two weighed more heavily than phase one, phase three is weighed the most. The reason this is important, it will determine your final rankings."

"You can get past each obstacle in one of two ways," I say. "Calm down enough to have the computer register a normal, steady heart rate or face your fear. For example, if you're drowning, you may want to swim down further to face the fear. Either of these things will trigger the program to move on to your next fear. So I suggest you take the next few days and formulate a plan on how to get through your landscape as quickly as possible. Your future depends on it."

"I need all of you to meet here Friday morning at 8:30 a.m. sharp," Christina says. "At that time each of you will go through one fear from either my or Uriah's fear landscape to get a feel for the simulation. Then on Sunday you need to be here at 10 a.m. for your final test. Don't be late. It could cause you to be made factionless."

"You're free to go," Tobias says. "Just a reminder, don't leave the compound without a member." We stand around and watch the initiates file out of the room.

"Well that didn't take as long as I thought it was going to," I say. "Should we go to the control room, Four?"

"What are you doing in the control room?" Uriah asks, curious as ever.

"We've had an intruder in Dauntless," Tobias says.

"Another one?" he asks, stunned by the revelation.

"That's exactly how I feel," I mutter. "I want to know when we'll catch a break. It's been one thing after another the past year."

"It has, hasn't it," Christina says. "Will told me about finding Molly on the security camera footage. Do you have any idea what she's up to?"

"Molly?" Uriah says. "What the hell?"

"She confronted me at the park a while back," I say. "She thinks that Four and I cheated during initiation. I told her she was wrong but I couldn't exactly come out and tell her how I got through the simulations the way I did. She already holds a grudge. I didn't want to paint a target on my back. Hell, part of me already thinks there's one there." Tobias drapes his arm around my shoulder, pulls me close, and kisses my temple.

"She's angry that she was made factionless, and she blames Tris and me instead of herself and the old Dauntless regime," Tobias says. "What worries me is if she's involved in Sam's death. I just don't think it's a coincidence she was here the same day someone died."

"Can I give you a suggestion?" Christina asks. Tobias and I nod. We are at a loss as to what Molly is up to so we'll take all the help we can get. "Check for a connection between Molly and Sam. Maybe they knew each other in Candor. I was far from being friends with Molly so I don't know who she hung around with besides Peter and Drew but it might be worthwhile to find out."

"I can't believe I forgot they both came from Candor," I say.

"Come to think of it, so did Olivia," Tobias says. Ugh! Did he have to mention that bitch's name? "We all know she was working with someone. Maybe it was Molly … or Sam."

"It's all speculation right now," I say with a sigh, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot. "We'll figure it out. We always do."

"We need to be going, guys," Tobias says. "Tris needs to sit down." I won't argue with him because right now my back is screaming at me. "I'll look through all the Candor transfers' files from the past few years to see if there is a connection. Thanks for the idea, Christina."

"You're welcome," she says.

"Can we walk you out?" I ask.

"Christina and I are going to stay here and do some prep work for Friday but thanks for asking," Uriah says.

"Well, we'll see you guys later then," I say. "Bye." We walk out into the hallway, and he takes my hand and leads me toward the control room.

"How's your back feeling, love?" he asks.

"It started feeling better once I started moving," I say. "It doesn't hurt at all now. As a matter of fact, I feel great."

"I want to stop by my office and grab Molly and Sam's files," Tobias says when he turns the wrong way out of the hallway.

"I thought you were getting turned around in your old age," I tease.

"You really are in a good mood today," he says with a chuckle.

"You have no idea," I say under my breath. When we get to his office I sit down on his couch and relax while he retrieves the files he's looking for from the cabinets behind his desk. I look at the clock on the wall and an idea pops into my head. I get up, softly pad to the door, and quietly flip the lock. Then I walk to where Tobias is and lean against his desk. When he turns around I cock my head to one side and give him a smile.

"Whatcha doing?"

"Well I was thinking. We told Zeke that we would see him this afternoon. It's only 10 a.m."

"And?" he says with a mischievous smile. He knows what I'm up to.

"I thought maybe we could take advantage of the fact that I'm feeling good," I say, running my fingertips lightly down his chiseled chest. "I haven't felt quite like myself for a time and it's been a while since we've been together."

"I'm aware."

"I know you are," I breathlessly whisper. "I thought we could mark a place off your list." He sets the files he's holding down on the filing cabinet then turns his full attention back to me. He gently grasps my face in his large hands and tilts my head back. He gazes into my eyes for a long moment, and I see his pupils dilate with desire, which does something strange to me. Knowing I'm the one causing his longing is a heady feeling. I still don't understand how plain ole Beatrice can cause this reaction in him but I'm damn glad I do. My heart pounds in my chest with anticipation as he slowly lowers his lips to mine and gives me a long, lingering kiss, thoroughly exploring my mouth with his gifted tongue. I move my hands from his hips where they have been resting and lift his t-shirt up his hard body. We stop kissing long enough for me to pull his shirt off over his head. Our lips crash into each other in a hungry, no-holds-barred kiss after he relieves me of my tank top. He slides his tongue between my parted lips when I take a much-needed breath, claiming my mouth as his own, and we let our tongues tangle violently as the passion intensifies. He glides his hands down my back and expertly unclasps my bra then leans back, breathless, and lowers my bra straps down my arms until I'm free of it. He tosses it unceremoniously to the floor as his eyes lovingly caress my naked chest.

"God, you're perfect," he roughly says, gazing at me with a heated, erotic look in his desire-filled eyes. He cups both my aching, full breasts and kneads them gently. I toss my head back and moan at his gentle touch, absorbing the feel of his calloused fingertips on my sensitive skin. I reach out and pull his mouth back to mine, needing to feel his lips on mine once again and kiss him roughly. He reaches behind me and pushes all the nonessential items off his desk, and they scatter noisily to the floor. I break our kiss and meet Tobias' gaze with a shocked look. "I've always wanted to do that." I laugh loudly and uninhibitedly not only at his statement but at the matter-of-fact look on his handsome face and he grins. "Shall I get you out of these pants, Mrs. Eaton?" I wonder if my name on his lips will always take my breath away.

He gently pushes me back until I'm lying flat on the top of his massive desk and puts his hands on the waistband of my stretchy maternity yoga pants. He leans down and scatters wet kisses over the skin he's exposing. When he slides my pants off, he tosses them to the floor with my other clothes, and I sit up so that we're nose-to-nose. I put my arms around his neck, and kiss him almost violently with the need I'm feeling. He runs his hands slowly over my body as we make love to each other's mouths. I unbutton his jeans and lower the zipper, feeling his hard manhood, which is straining to be free. He slowly moves one hand from my aching chest, down over my swollen abdomen to my thigh, caressing lovingly as he goes. I gasp when he slides his hand into my panties and slips a finger into my damp center. He parts my legs further with his other hand all the while moving his mouth deliberately with mine. As he increases the pace with his finger, the kiss deepens and he matches his tongues movements to that of his hand. I move my hips to meet each thrust and gasp into his open mouth when he abruptly stops his ministrations.

He puts his hand on my chest and gently pushes me back so I'm lying on the desk again. He hovers over me with a familiar look in his eyes, and I know what's running though his mind. I know him so well. He puts his lips on my left ear and teases it mercifully, making my body start moving on its own. God, I want him. I reach my hands over my head and grasp the edge of his desk, trying to still myself and prolong the experience. He lightly traces the outline of my ravens with the very tip of his velvety tongue before stopping at my pert, sensitive nipples, taunting them mercilessly with his fingers, mouth, tongue, and teeth. He makes me feel like I'm going to spontaneously combust at any moment. When I can't take it anymore, I grasp his head and pull him up my body. His mouth crashes into mine, knowing what I want. I taste my milk on his tongue and I sigh.

"You're such a bad boy," I murmur, realizing that my breasts don't feel quite as full as they did before.

"I'm _your_ bad boy," he hastily says with a dazzling smile that dazes me for a moment. "I love you." He gives me another swift yet passionate kiss then glides his parted lips down my body dropping soft kisses as he goes until I'm writhing with passion beneath him once again. When he stops at my belly, he puts his hands on my black, lace panties and ever so slowly peels them off my body. "Hi, baby." I raise my head and look at him. He's never called me baby before but as soon as I look at him I realize he's talking to Peanut, which makes me smile. He puts both his hands on me, and I marvel at how they look, protectively covering our child. "Daddy loves you, Peanut. I hope you're happy in there. You're getting so big. It won't be much longer and I'll be able to hold you in my arms." He kisses my now exposed bellybutton making me gasp. I didn't know it was so sensitive. It's weird to see it sticking out like that. I've been an innie my entire life. I reach up and run my hand through Tobias' hair as he continues placing soft kisses around my belly and caressing my heated skin, worshipping me. He kisses my belly one final time then I hear him sit down. I leverage myself up onto my elbows and see that he's relaxed against the back of his office chair taking in the sight of my naked body in front of him. His eyes turn nearly black with lust as he sits up straighter. He picks up my left foot and brings it to his mouth. _What is it with him and my feet?_ He kisses the pad of each of my toes then runs the tip of his tongue along the extremely sensitive sole of my foot.

"Aaahh!" I cry out trying to take my foot back but he holds it steady then I feel his lips on my instep. He scatters kisses along my ankle, shin, knee, and thigh then places my heel on the arm rest of his chair. He picks up my right foot and repeats each action then after sitting it on the armrest, he moves the chair as close to the desk as he can. He scoots to the edge of his seat and runs his hands up and down the outside of my thighs.

"Seeing you … _all_ of you makes me feel the same way today as it did that Sunday afternoon last December. You are a spectacularly beautiful creature." He kisses the inside of my left thigh while caressing the outside of it with a feather-light touch, never taking his eyes off me. "I still wonder how we managed to find each other." He holds my left leg in place near my thigh and puts his other hand behind my right knee and effectively spreads my legs even further before him. My labored breath is coming hard and fast through my burning lungs as I listen to his outpouring of love while his eyes take in my bare form sprawled out before him. "Now you're my wife. You're the mother of my children. You're pregnant with my baby girl. You're my best friend." He leans over and kisses his way up my thigh, and when he kisses me in my most intimate place, I stop breathing. He slowly licks up my aching womanhood and over my nubbin in one long stroke. I suck in a breath through my clenched teeth then let out a long, guttural moan. He repeats the sweet torture over and over again before finally concentrating on my throbbing bundle of nerves. He grips my legs tighter trying to keep me still but I can't stop moving. First, I'm pushing myself closer to that amazingly gifted tongue of his then I'm trying to get away when the sensation nearly becomes too much to handle. He recognizes each of my movements and what they mean so he varies his attack, bringing me right to the edge time and again.

"Oh, Tobias," I breathlessly say just above a whisper, panting noisily. I need to come or have him inside me one of the two and it needs to happen _now_. "Oh God! _Please!_ " Sensing my immediate need, he concentrates on my nubbin, lightly swirling his hot, wet tongue with a delicate touch round and round until my release violently rips through me. I scream out his name in sweet fulfillment, and he releases my legs and stands up. He lowers his jeans and boxer briefs in one swift movement then steps out of them, leaving himself gloriously naked in front of me. He leans over my body and presses his lips against mine for a loving kiss. I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. It's a little uncomfortable but since he's not moving, it's bearable.

"I love you," he says when we come up for air.

"I love you, too," I pant.

"I think I want to make love to my wife on my desk," he says. "I want that memory to keep me company while I'm at work." He reaches for my hands and releases himself from my embrace. He stands up straight and gazes down into my eyes. He loosens my legs from around his hips and pulls me to the very edge of the desk. He grasps his hard length and rubs it up and down my moist entrance before sliding into me deliciously slowly while staring intensely into my eyes. He cups each of my legs behind the knees and pushes them toward my body, opening me to him further, and he thrusts fully into me.

"Oh, God!" I close my eyes and relish the fullness. I hear his heavy breathing, and I open my eyes to find him gazing down at me provocatively. "Make love to me, Tobias." He unhurriedly pulls out of me and pushes back in then starts a steady, gratifying rhythm. I continually lift my hips to meet his passionate thrusts, feeling the familiar approach of yet another orgasm. We stare at each other, communicating lovingly with our eyes. He releases my legs, and I wrap them tightly around his waist, drawing him deeper into me. He moves frantically within me not taking his eyes off mine, and we find our final fiery explosion together. As I'm screaming his name, he's lamenting mine. After a final thrust, he collapses on top of me. We both momentarily forget about Peanut until we feel her frantically moving inside me telling Daddy to get off of her. He pulls out of me and sits down in his chair to catch his breath, and I slowly sit up. I get off his desk and gently sit in his lap. I rest my head on his shoulder, and he wraps his arms around me.

"I like being here with you like this, Tobias," I say. "It feels … naughty."

"It does, doesn't it?" he says with a chuckle. He kisses my neck, making me moan.

"How much time do we have before we have to go?" I ask. I'm so comfortable I don't even want to move my head to look at the clock.

"As long as you want," he says, nuzzling his nose into my hair. I can't help my smile. "Why? Do you have something else in mind?" I turn my head and look at him.

"Well, Mr. Eaton, first I thought I would get on my knees on the floor in front of your chair, take you in my mouth, teasing until you explode then you can bend me over this desk," I sensually glide my hand along the smooth oak, "and make love to me. How does that sound?" His eyes dilate right before mine, and his look changes to one of pure lust. I lick my lips suggestively then slip to the floor in front of him.


	53. Chapter 53

Tobias and I quietly lie in each other's arms on the large leather sofa in his office, enjoying this intimate private time. I'm wrapped in his loving embrace as he gently caresses my body and places soft kisses in my hair from time to time while I peacefully drift in and out of consciousness. I swear I could lie here with him like this forever … no stress, no worries.

"We should probably go home and grab a quick bite so we can get to the control room. I told Zeke I would help him out since he's shorthanded," Tobias finally says, breaking the comfortable silence, causing me to groan. I turn my head and rest my chin on the back of my hand, which is lying on his chest and stare into his eyes.

"Do we have to?" I ask, pouting a little. I lean up and put my lips on the spot just below his right ear while I caress his bare chest with my free hand. "Can't we just forget about Dauntless' problems for one afternoon? We could lie here and enjoy each other's company, maybe make love again," I lean back and look in his eyes, "or we could go get Tyler and Tessa and take them to the park." He tightens his arms around me and draws my mouth to his and kisses me softly.

"As nice as those things sound," he breathlessly says after he releases my mouth, "and believe me, love, they really do, I would feel better if we started looking into why Molly was here the morning Sam was murdered and if there was any connection between the two before they came to Dauntless. Once we resolve what's hanging over our heads, our lives will get back to normal."

"Have our lives ever been normal?" I ask with a sigh.

"Not really," he says. "But I look forward to the day it is."

"Me, too," I say with a yawn.

"What happened to my energetic wife?" he chuckles.

"Well, I think we expelled most of it over the past hour or so," I say.

"Come on. Let's get dressed and go home," he says. "I'll fix us lunch while you rest."

"Okay," I say. He manages to get off the couch after giving me a quick kiss then helps me to my feet. "Do you see my panties?" I put my bra back on while my eyes scan the floor but my underwear are nowhere to be found. He bends over and stands back up twirling the small, black lace boy shorts on the end of his finger.

"They were right where I dropped them," he says with a sexy smirk on his face. I reach out to grab them but he pulls them away. "How about I help you put them back on since I'm the one who took them off?"

"Okay," I say with a giggle. He's in a really good mood right now.

"Let's see, in your words, how about I get on my knees on the floor in front of you." He grins as he sinks to his knees in front of me and holds my panties out. I place a steadying hand on his shoulder and step into them then he slowly pulls them up and into place. He puts both hands on my exposed rounded abdomen and kisses my sensitive bellybutton. "I love you, baby girl, almost as much as I love the beautiful woman who is carrying you." I run my hands through his hair and he looks up at me.

"I like listening to you talk to her. She loves you already," I say. "She stops moving around and listens when you talk to her. Now she's kicking like crazy again."

"I can feel her," he says. "I look forward to the day I can take her to the training room and teach her to use the punching bags."

"She's going to be a natural … just like her father," I say. "My kidneys can attest to that." He kisses my belly again then stands up. After we finish getting dressed, I run my hands through my hair in an attempt to straighten it.

"You look beautiful," Tobias says. I look up at him with a smile and smooth down his tousled tresses. "Is that better?"

"Perfect," I say.

"You are the perfect one," he says. He runs his hand down my face and lowers his lips to mine but a knock on the door startles us. It's a good thing we picked up the papers he scattered all over the floor when he swept them off his desk. It would be embarrassing to let anyone see that mess. He gives me a swift kiss before answering the door.

"Hey, guys," Zeke says. "I thought I'd find you in here. Have you had lunch yet?"

"No, we were just getting ready to go home and have a quick bite to eat," Tobias says. "Would you like to join us?"

"Sure," he says. "It beats going all the way to the cafeteria and back." We start out the door when I remember the reason we came his office in the first place.

"Don't forget the files, Four," I say.

"Thanks, Tris," he says. He quickly picks up the folders off the top of the filing cabinet. I'm surprised that there are more than I thought there would be. He flips off the lights and locks the door on the way out then we head up to our apartment. "You two go ahead and sit down. I'll fix some leftovers. I hope spaghetti and meatballs is okay."

"My mom's recipe?" Zeke asks.

"Is there any other?" Tobias says.

"It sounds wonderful," he says then turns his attention to me. "So how are you feeling, Tris?"

"It depends on the day, actually," I say. "Obviously, I wasn't in the best mood yesterday. I'm really sorry for my behavior, Zeke. I'm sure I made you and Will uncomfortable, and I hate myself for that."

"It's alright," he says. "How are you feeling today? You look great."

"I feel wonderful today," I say. Sex does that to me but I'm not telling _him_ that. "Have you found anything more on the tapes?"

"No," he says. "I took Nathan under my wing this morning and made sure he got the correct training."

"How did he do?" I ask.

"He's a fast learner," he says, "and a great addition to the control room team. Hey, Four, when can we schedule a meeting on adding even more team members?"

"How many are you thinking?" Tobias asks as he puts a bowl full of Caesar salad on the island.

"At least four," he says. "I want to restructure the shifts. I'll keep Nathan on days if he proves himself then add two each to the swing and night shifts."

"That sounds reasonable," I say.

"Yeah, it does," Tobias says. "Tris and I will talk it over with Tori, Will, and Harrison when we're deciding what job openings there are this year. Lunch is ready, guys." We gather around the island and chat while we eat the delicious leftovers. "There's something I want to run past you two. I've been thinking long and hard about this idea for a while now, and you're the two people in this world I trust the most. I want your opinion."

"What is it?" I ask, suddenly worried.

"It's nothing to worry about, love," he says. Once again he proves how well he knows me. "I think we should take one of the abandoned buildings next to the compound and refurbish it for older Dauntless members who are nearing factionless age. I can't justify making good members factionless just because they hit a certain age; however, if we don't do something, we'll eventually run out of room in the compound. These members will automatically be relegated to fence duty and their pay will shift to fence duty wages. What do you think? It has to be better than being made factionless."

"You know how I feel about this subject," I say. "I think it's a great idea."

"Do we, as a faction, have the funds available to refurbish an entire building?" Zeke asks, hopefully playing devil's advocate. "Wouldn't it be cheaper and easier to just make them factionless when they're no longer able to do their jobs effectively?"

"Cheaper and easier? Definitely but I wouldn't be able to sleep at night if I made, let's say, your mom factionless because she's a little slower after her assault. And so many choose to jump into the chasm instead of leaving. I've seen the numbers. It's sad. I just can't have that on my conscious. It would drive me crazy," he says, a pained look on his face. He seems to shake it off then continues. "As for the money aspect, I've carefully went over the budget more than once and, yes, we do have ample funds."

"I think it's a great idea, Four," Zeke says. "I've been in all of the surrounding buildings and most of them have space on the ground floor for small retail businesses. You could put in a small clothing store, grocery store, and maybe their own cafeteria and infirmary or clinic."

"You sound excited about this idea," I say.

"I'm not lying when I say this is one of the best ideas I've heard," he says.

"I agree," I say. "I like Zeke's ideas also. You two need to put your head together more often."

"That would just lead to trouble," Zeke says, laughing freely and Tobias rolls his eyes at him. "How is your apartment coming along? Shouldn't you be moved in by now?"

"Gunner is finishing up Tyler's room today and will start on the playroom mural tomorrow," I say. "He had to take quite a bit of time off when he broke a small bone in his right hand but we hope to be completely moved in before The Welcome Ball."

"That long?" he says.

"After all this time, one-and-a-half-weeks doesn't seem that long," Tobias says. "We've already boxed up all the nonessentials and moved them down the hall. When we have a spare minute or two we're going to continue unpacking what we can."

"We've already put away a few kitchen boxes," I say. "It amazes me how much stuff we've accumulated in less than a year. It's kind of scary because we're moving into a bigger place, which means even more room for things we don't really need."

"We just need to remember where we came from," Tobias says.

"Look who's talking, Mr. Gift Giver Extraordinaire," I say.

"You know I'm all about showing you how much I love you," he says.

"I know but I prefer when you show me in other ways," I whisper in his ear so Zeke can't hear.

"Don't think I don't know what you two are talking about," he says, making exaggerated gagging motions. "I already contemplated blinding myself because of you two, now I'm thinking about deafening myself also."

"Zeke," Tobias sternly says.

"Take it easy, Four," he says. "I'm just saying."

"How about we stop talking about my sex life and get to the control room," I say, my hands on my hips. Tobias and Zeke both look taken aback. I must say I don't know where that came from. I feel heat creeping up into my face but I stand my ground, not taking my eyes off my husband and his best friend.

"Yes, ma'am," Zeke says, saluting me. I roll my eyes and turn my back on both of them and then walk out the door. I hear them bickering as they hurry to catch up with me. "Sorry, Tris."

"Sorry, love," Tobias says.

"You guys are idiots," I murmur, "but I love you both."

"We love you, too," they singsong together. Tobias takes my hand and Zeke drapes his arm across my shoulders and we continue on to the control room.

"In all seriousness, thank you for lunch," Zeke says. "Which one of you cooked? It was just like my mom made it."

"That would be me," Tobias says. "Your mom taught me well, didn't she?" I nod.

"That she did," Zeke says. "Shauna and I have both been so busy lately that we barely have time to see each other so we haven't had a chance to have supper with my mom in quite a while so your spaghetti and meatballs is going to have to hold me over until we can get together."

"That's quite a compliment," Tobias says as we walk into the control room. Everyone stops what they are doing and looks at us. "Back to work." It amazes me how he can literally morph into Four in a blink of an eye. They all quickly turn back toward their screens and get back to work as we walk into Zeke's office.

"I'm going to take these," I say, taking the file folders out of Tobias' hands, "and sit over here and go through them. Hopefully, I can find us a connection."

"I'm going to check on Nathan to see how he's doing. I don't want to overwhelm him his first day," Zeke says. "I'll be right back."

"What are you going to do?" I ask Tobias.

"Go over video files," he says. "There are literally hours of video to scan through. This could take weeks."

"I hope not," I say. "Do you have Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo out looking for Molly?" It's the one question I neglected to ask earlier. Maybe I don't want to know.

"Not yet," he says. "I don't want to tip her off that we know she's been sneaking into the compound until we have an idea what she's up to."

"It's revenge," I say.

"I agree with you," he says. "But revenge for what? I have been mulling over a couple ideas. We'll talk about them later, okay?"

"Okay," I say. I sit at the small table in the corner of Zeke's dimly lit office after I give Tobias a swift, tender kiss. I open each of the files he retrieved and skim through them.

"Four, do you think I should get Christina's file?" I ask. "She transferred from Candor, too?"

"You think she's hiding something?"

" _No_ ," I scoff. "But we're always worried about impropriety. Doesn't it kind of look like favoritism that her file isn't here?"

"Yeah. I guess you're right," he says.

"What are you doing?" I ask when he starts to get up.

"Going to get her file," he says, confusion covering his handsome face.

"No, I'll go get it," I say, getting up from the uncomfortable cold, metal chair. "I need to walk around."

"Tris, why don't you take those files home and look them over there?" Zeke suggests. "I know my office isn't exactly the height of comfort."

"You know what, I'm going to take your advice, Zeke," I say. Tobias scoffs under his breath and shakes his head a little. He was probably expecting an argument and is surprised that I gave in so easily. "This chair is killing my back … or the baby is, one of the two." Tobias gives me his office key and tells me that he'll go get Tyler and Tessa before he comes home so I don't have to go all the way to the Pit. I kiss his cheek, tell him and Zeke goodbye then get Christina's file from his office and head up to the apartment.

I sit at the island after making myself a tall glass of lemon-infused iced tea and spread the folders out in front of me. I sip the refreshing drink as I read through the Candor transfers' files from the last three years. Nothing stands out to me as odd and, unfortunately, I don't see any commonalities yet, well except for the faction they were all born into. I come to Sam's file and pour over every detail. Samantha Jean Lawrence was the only child of Scott and Melanie Thornton Lawrence. She had zero infractions growing up so it's hard to tell who her friends were. The one thing that does surprise me is that she got Candor on her aptitude test. She's the only one so far who didn't get Dauntless.

I stack all the files out of my way, except for Peter, Drew, and Molly's. I honestly don't expect to find anything but know I have to go through them anyway just to be thorough. I open up the one on top, which just happens to be Drew's. I had no idea his actual name is Andrew … Andrew Mitchell Boyd. He's the older of two children born to Dustin and Sally Cooper Boyd. His little sister, Jenny, is years away from choosing. He got into some minor trouble with Molly and Peter at Candor while he was growing up, which doesn't surprise me at all. His aptitude was for Dauntless.

The next folder I flip open is Peter's. I take his smug, smiling picture and flip it over once the shock wears off. I close my eyes and do some deep breathing to calm my hammering heart. I haven't seen his face since that morning in the hospital when Tobias rescued me, and I didn't know it would affect me like it did. I push the file away and pick up my phone.

"Is everything alright?" Tobias asks through the speaker, forgoing a hello.

"Yeah," I say. "I just wanted to hear your voice."

"What's wrong, love?" he asks after I hear him close a door. "You sound … stressed."

"I can't hide anything from you, can I?" I say with a sigh. I get up from the island and sit down in the club chair and put my slightly swollen, aching feet up on the ottoman. "I just saw Peter's picture, and it startled me. You know I haven't seen it since … _that_ morning." I'm quiet for a full minute, and he doesn't say anything either, letting me gather my chaotic thoughts. "I didn't know he still scares me, Tobias."

"Do you want me to come home?" he asks. _Of course, I want you to come home._ But I'm too selfless to say that out loud.

"No, there's too much work left to do today," I say. "Have you found anything new?"

"No. You?"

"Just that Sam got Candor on her aptitude test," I say. "Oh and Drew's name is actually Andrew." I hear him chuckle.

"So nothing probative?" he asks.

"No," I say, giggling a little myself.

"You sound better," he says.

"I feel better," I say. "I just needed to talk to you. I should get back to the files and let you get back to the surveillance videos."

"You're sure you are alright?" he asks.

"Yeah."

"Okay. I'll see you later," he says and just before I hang up he says, "And, Tris, I love you."

"I love you, too." After I hang up, I manage to get myself out of the chair after a couple tries then put my phone away. I quickly grab a small plate of cheese, cracker, and grapes then sit back down at the island. I take a deep, calming breath and open Peter's file again. I graze on the snack while I look things over. Peter Allen Hayes, only son of Porter and Ruth Ann Buck Hayes. He had numerous infractions growing up, most of which were with Drew and Molly but no one else. Hhm. He got Candor on his aptitude test also. That actually surprises me. He would have fit in perfectly with the reckless Dauntless that Max, Eric, and Erudite was trying to build. I momentarily wonder what made him choose Dauntless then get angry with myself for giving him an extra minute of my time. I sigh and push his file away from me.

I pick up the last file and open it to find Molly's smug face staring back at me. I thoroughly read through it but, unfortunately, nothing stands out to me. Molly Elizabeth Atwood was born in Candor to the late Walter Atwood and Lillian Buck Atwood who got remarried to Jed Cooper when Molly was a toddler. She's the youngest of three children. Her brother, Michael, joined Erudite three years ago, and her sister, Margarete, made Candor her official home two years ago. There's no mention of any other friends or acquaintances in her file. She got into trouble a few times as a dependent for breaking curfew. Of course, she was with Peter and Drew.

 _Wait a minute!_ I drag Peter and Drew's files back to me and hastily open them up. I flip to the family section and meticulously compare all three files. Ruth's maiden name is Buck as is Molly's mother. Drew's mother's maiden name is Cooper and Molly's mother is now married to one. I think I remember Christina telling me just after we met that Peter and his cohorts were inseparable from birth and now I think I know why, Molly, Drew, and Peter are more than friends … I think they are family.


	54. Chapter 54

If I'm reading this right, Peter, Drew, and Molly are loosely related to one another. I wonder who I could call at Candor to confirm my suspicions. Are Ruth and Molly's mother really sisters like I suspect? And what about the Cooper connection? After thinking about it for a while and weighing the pros and cons, I pick up my phone to call Ruth just as the door opens and Tobias, Tyler, and Tessa come in. I turn my phone off before hitting the final number and smile at my family.

"Mommy! I come to see you," Tyler says, running over to me.

"Hi, buddy," I say then I move my eyes to Tobias'. "What are you doing home?"

"You wanted me home so I went and picked up the kids," he says. I lean over and kiss Tyler's head then go to my husband.

"I didn't ask you to come home," I say.

"Yeah you did," he says. He runs his free hand down my face and grasps my neck and pulls my mouth to his.

"Eww! Kissy kissy," Tyler says. I pull my lips away from Tobias', and we look down at our son who has both his hands over his eyes, and we laugh at his innocence and shake our heads.

"You can look now," I say to Tyler. "Daddy's not kissing Mommy anymore." He slowly moves his hands and peeks out between his little fingers. When he sees us looking at him, he drops his hands and smiles. "Let's sit down." I take Tobias' hand and pull him to the couch. After we sit, he hands me Tessa and pulls Tyler up onto his lap. I hold my little one close to my chest, and she lies her head on my shoulder as I pat her back. "How did you know I wanted to see you, Tobias?"

"I know you," he says, bumping my shoulder with his. "I could hear it in your voice. When we hung up, I told Zeke I needed to get home. We weren't really making any noticeable progress anyway."

"I might have but I'm not entirely sure what to make of it," I say. "I found a connection between Peter, Molly, and Drew."

"What did you find?" he asks. I tell him what I found in the files.

"I was just getting ready to call Ruth and ask her about it when you got home."

"I'm glad I got home when I did then," he says. "I know you like Ruth. I think she's nice, too, but what if she has something to do with all this … whatever _this_ is. I've been thinking about this since we found Molly on tape. What if Ruth is involved with whatever is going on?"

"No. There's no way." I'll never believe that.

"Please hear me out, love," he says. "Tyler, buddy, why don't you get a toy or puzzle and play? Mommy and I need to talk about something important." He gets down off of Tobias' lap without a word and retrieves his dinosaur puzzle book off the shelf. We watch as he sits at the base of the stairs and gets lost in the wooden pieces. "You agree that Molly is up to something, correct?" I nod. "This is only a theory but with what you just told me about a familial connection, it makes perfect sense. I think Molly and, more than likely, Drew are both out for revenge for Peter's death. We also know she is working with someone inside a faction, and who else would want that besides his mother?"

"I can see where you're coming from but Ruth isn't like that," I say, searching my mind for any signs of deception. "No, I don't believe that. She genuinely seemed hurt by what Peter did to me. Not to mention, she knows we aren't responsible for his death. I think you're wrong."

"I might be," he says. "I hope I am for your sake but what if I'm not. Her visit on visiting day could have been a ploy. I really don't want you calling her to check facts. We'll call Jack tomorrow and see who he recommends we talk to."

"I don't think you're right about her but I'll do as you ask," I say.

"Do you want me to put her in her crib to take a nap?" he asks when I switch Tessa to my other shoulder.

"Yeah. Just remember to bring down her monitor. I'm going to lie down for a while, too."

"Tyler would you like to watch a movie?" Tobias asks out of the blue. Tyler's eyes light up.

"Yeah!" he says.

"I tell you what," Tobias says. "Why don't you lie down in bed? It has to be more comfortable than the couch."

"You know what? I think I'll take your suggestion," I say. "Please don't let me sleep too long though. I want to be able to sleep tonight."

"Pick out a movie, buddy," Tobias says. "I'll be back down in a minute." As I walk to the stairs, Tyler picks up his puzzle.

"You be good for Daddy," I say. "Mommy's going to rest for a bit while Tessa takes a nap."

"I be good," he say. "I pwomise." I follow Tobias into Tessa's room. The minute he puts her in the crib, she sprawls out and starts sucking at the air.

"Crazy kid," I say. "I could watch her sleep forever."

"I know. I could, too," he says. "But right now you better lie down."

"Okay," I say. "I'm tired enough that I won't argue."

"That's good to know," he says with a chuckle. "Come on, let's get you in bed." He puts his hand on the small of my back and leads me down the hallway.

"Too bad you can't join me," I say as I slide up onto the bed. He leans over me after I lie back and smiles down at me.

"I'd like that," he says, "but I'm going to let you rest and watch a movie with our son. I'm taking Tessa's monitor with me. Sleep well, love. I'll wake you for supper." He presses his lips to mine, and I have a hard time stopping. I'm wanting more but know that now is not the time.

"Thank you," I say as he pulls his lips away from mine. I close my tired eyes in an effort to rest but my head is spinning with information. I lie down for about 30 minutes then decide to get up. When I walk by Tessa's room, I hear her whining a little so I pick her up and she immediately begins to root toward my chest. "Are you hungry already, little one?" I sit down in her rocking chair so I can nurse her. As I watch her suckle vigorously, I'm surprised she wasn't louder when I found her.

"I thought I heard you," Tobias says from the doorway. "Why are you up? I could have fed her."

"I couldn't sleep," I sigh. "I guess I have too much running through my mind. I was on my way downstairs when I heard her. Our girl was hungry."

"Is her mommy hungry?"

"I could eat," I say. "What are you making?"

"I was thinking of throwing a taco salad together. I just need to make the hamburger."

"Ooh! That sounds really good. It's been a while since you made that," I say, my stomach growling loudly. "Tessa and I will be down when she's done."

"About half an hour?" he asks.

"That sounds about right. I'll change her diaper and put some PJs on her before I come down."

"I'll have supper waiting," he says. He turns to walk out of the room after kissing my forehead but I stop him.

"Tobias, is there something wrong?" I ask, sensing something's not quite right.

"No," he says, shaking his head. "Why?"

"You seem … off, baby." He smiles at my nickname and kneels down in front of me.

"I'm just frustrated by this situation," he says. "I want answers." I put Tessa up to my shoulder to burp her.

"I know what you mean," I say. "I want … _normal_ but I'm not sure what that is."

"Normal is what you and I have. Normal is raising Tyler, Tessa, Peanut, and any future babies we have. That's normal, love. You know that."

"I guess I'm just tired of all the drama," I say. "Times like this make me long for the Amity farm that much more." We stare into each other's eyes, silently reminiscing about one of our favorite places.

"I need to get supper ready," he says. He leans forward and kisses my temple then kisses Tessa's head. "I love you both." He gets up and heads out the door.

"You have such a wonderful daddy, Tessa Beatrice," I say. She brings her eyes to mine and smiles before she goes back to nursing. "He loves us all very much. As long as we have him, we'll be okay. I promise." I gaze at Tessa and gently caress her head until she finishes. Then I change her wet diaper and put her in a soft pink sleeper covered in white polka dots and a cute little girl monkey wrapping around from the back to the front. "Are you ready to go see your daddy and brother, little one?" She smiles brightly and kicks her legs wildly. "You are a squirming little monkey tonight. I picked the right sleeper, didn't I?" I pick her up and she babbles all the way down the stairs. I sit her on the blanket on the floor in front of the television with some plastic blocks surrounding her. She picks one up and puts it up to her mouth. "You try chewing on everything, don't you?"

"Supper's ready," Tobias says as he puts a plate in front on my seat. I move Tessa so we'll be able to see her then sit down to eat. "She's in a good mood." I look over my shoulder just in time to see her move from the sitting position to lying on her side. She rolls onto her stomach then army crawls a few inches to pick up the block she dropped that rolled just out of her reach and puts it in her mouth again. "One of these days we aren't going to be able to keep up with her."

"I know," I say. "She's growing up so fast."

"I gwow fast, too," Tyler says.

"Yep, you're growing like a bad weed," Tobias says, reaching over and ruffling his hair. He gets up from the island when his phone starts ringing and picks it up from off its charger. "Hello … Whoa! Slow down, Harrison ... Why can't you tell me over the phone?" I put my fork down and concentrate on Tobias' call. "Can you give us an hour? We need to find a sitter then we'll meet you in the Pit … Alright. Bye." He hangs up and meets my eyes with a confused look on his face.

"What did Harrison want?" I ask.

"To be honest, I'm not sure," he says. "He wants to see us as soon as possible. He wouldn't talk about it over the phone though. I'll call Stella and see if she can watch Tyler and Tessa for a while." He calls Stella but she's at Erudite for work and Zander is on duty in the infirmary. He goes across the hall but Will and Christina aren't home either.

"It's an emergency so why don't you call Avery," I say. He dials her number, and she picks up immediately. After explaining our conundrum, she agrees to help us out and says she's on her way.

"Guess what, buddy, Avery is going to come over and sit with you and Tessa until Mommy and Daddy get home," Tobias says. Tyler's eyes light up at the news. I know he's been missing her. After we finish eating supper, Tobias cleans up the kitchen while Tyler, Tessa, and I sit on the couch and watch the second half of _Cars_. Or I should say Tyler watches. He's going to wear this DVD out one of these days. I play with Tessa who is laughing loudly when Avery knocks on the door.

"I'll get it," I say, getting up off the couch. When I open the door, Avery and Afton are standing there. "Hi, guys."

"I hope you don't mind Afton tagging along," Avery says. "We had a girls night planned for tonight."

"As long as Callen and Declan don't come over," Tobias gruffly says.

"They're in the tattoo parlor," Afton says, rolling her eyes. " _Boys_ night." Okay, she sounds a little bitter.

"Thank you for doing this," I say. "I can't say how long we'll be but, hopefully, it won't be too long." I hand Tessa to Avery. "If she gets hungry, there's bottles in the fridge."

"You've gotten so big," she says, making faces at my daughter, causing her to laugh.

"That she has," I say. "She can sit up by herself, and she's starting to pull herself around with an army crawl."

"Pretty soon you're going to be chasing Tyler all around," she says.

"Thanks again for coming on such short notice," Tobias says. "Tris, we've got to go."

"Okay," I say. I kiss Tessa's head then move to Tyler. "You be good for Avery and Afton." He continues watching his movie like he doesn't know anyone is talking to him. "Tyler Aaron, look at Mommy." He tears his eyes away from the screen and looks at me. "Did you hear me?"

"I be good fo Avey," he says.

"Okay," I say. "You need to answer me when I'm talking to you."

"I sowwy," he says, hanging his head.

"I know you are," I say. I kiss his head then let him get back to his movie.

"We'll be back as soon as possible," Tobias says. "Thanks again." Tobias leads me out into the hallway then takes my hand.

"What do you think Harrison wants?"

"He said he thought he found something but he sounded too … anxious, scared maybe to talk about it over the phone," he says. "I'm not sure why. He asked that we meet in the Pit."

"Hhm. That's strange," I say.

"You've got that right."

"Do you know what he's been working on lately?" I ask.

"Besides everyday Dauntless business, Tori has had him following up on leads related to Sam's death," he says. "Hopefully, he has a promising one."

"Where exactly did he tell us to meet him?" I ask. "The Pit is a large place."

"By the door that leads to the net," he says. We slowly follow the steep and winding path down into the Pit. I'm beginning to second guess coming with Tobias even though Harrison said he wanted to see the both of us. Not only do I feel like I'm sleep walking but my back is throbbing, my legs are burning, and my shoes feel two sizes too small. Maybe I should consider maternity leave or at the very least limit the number of trips I take from the Pire to the Pit. I expect Harrison to be waiting for us but the area around the door is deserted. We look around but he's nowhere to be found. After standing here for about five minutes, Tobias pulls his phone out and dials Harrison's number but he doesn't pick up. "This is so unlike him." A blood curdling scream draws our attention and Tobias takes off like a shot in the direction of the hair raising sound. I can tell this isn't going to be good. I follow behind him as quickly as my body will allow. I see him go down a desolate, rarely used hallway and trail behind him. When I enter the hallway, I see two young girls huddled together against the wall and Tobias kneeling over a crumpled figure on the stone floor. "Tris, I need you to go to the infirmary and get some help." I see Harrison's white-blonde ponytail but nothing else. "Go!" I turn on my heels and sprint back the way I came. Others must have heard the scream because a crowd has now gathered just outside the hallway. I see Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo and stop long enough to tell them where Tobias is and that he's going to need help then fight my way through the gawkers and into the infirmary. I think that Marlene is going to have a heart attack when she sees the condition I'm in.

"I … need … Zander," I pant. "Help … please. Harri … son … hurt." Those are the only words I can get out. I bend over and rest my hands on my knees in an effort to calm my hammering heart and slow my unsteady breathing. She pushes a couple buttons on the phone then comes out from behind the desk.

"Hey, let me look at you. Were you running?" I nod, still unable to talk. She shakes her head a little then against my protests leads me into an examination room. "Lie down, Tris, and try to relax. I'll be back in a minute to check your blood pressure." I bet it's high but Tobias did tell me to get help. I hear a commotion and see Harrison being wheeled into the exam room directly across from mine. They forget to close the doors so I can see and hear everything that's going on. Zander is barking orders, asking for everything STAT. That's really the only thing I understand. Tobias comes rushing into my room and straight to me.

"Are you alright?" he asks, his hands hovering over my body.

"Don't worry about me right now," I say, taking his hands in mine. "What the hell happened?"

"Those girls heard Harrison's phone ringing when I called so they went to investigate. They got quite a surprise. When they realized what they were seeing, they screamed."

"What's happening?" Tori asks as she comes running into the room.

"We really have no idea," Tobias says. He tells her about Harrison's call earlier asking us to meet and then what we subsequently found. "There was some redness on his neck just like Sam's. He must know something."

"This is all my fault," Tori says, putting her face in her hands. "I'm the one who suggested adding him to leadership."

"It's not your fault. There's no way you could have known he would be attacked," I say. "Four, maybe you should call Zeke and see if he can find anything on the security cameras."

"Yeah, I better do that," he says. He takes his phone out of his pocket but puts it away when Marlene walks into the room and shuts the door behind her so the goings on in the other room are muffled. She takes my blood pressure, which is higher than it's been since I got off of bedrest but that really isn't surprising.

She looks at the reading a few times then says, "You need rest right now. I know this situation is stressful but you really need to try and stay calm." Hhm. I thought I _was_ being calm. "I know what Isobel would suggest."

"And what's that?" Tobias asks, his focus now entirely on me.

"Either admitting you until your blood pressure levels out or sending you home on bed rest until it comes back down." I don't like either of those options right now but try not to show it.

"Can I rest here for a while then have you check on me again, Marlene?" I ask. "If it's still high, I'll do whatever you think is best."

"Okay," she says. When she leaves the room, the door remains propped open, and we once again listen to the hustle and bustle going on in the next room. It's quite sobering. Tobias sits on the edge of the bed with me, caressing my hair. I'm sure he's trying to relax me, and I think it's partially working. Tori, however, isn't helping my frame of mind any. She's pacing fitfully back and forth in front of the doorway, waiting for word on Harrison. I close my eyes in an attempt to block her out and listen to Dr. Parrish and his staff work on our friend.

"That's it," we clearly hear Zander say. "I'm calling it. Time of death 8:56 p.m."


	55. Chapter 55

My eyes fly open and search out Tobias'. His face betrays the same emotions I'm feeling right now: sadness, confusion, anger. This can't be happening … not again. Harrison is _gone_? I watch as Tori's knees buckle and can no longer hold her. She wilts to the floor without making a sound. Tobias hurries off the bed to her side. He gently lies his hand on her shoulder, trying to comfort her but she shakes off his touch. Tears wet my eyes, and a few overflow and slowly roll down my cheeks. Tobias sits back down next to me and gently cups my face, wiping the moisture off with his thumbs. We see Zander in the doorway across the hall. He gives some final instructions to his now somber staff then slowly walks into my room, closing the door behind him.

"I'm sorry but he didn't make it," he quietly says, verifying what we already know. "Do any of you know his next of kin so I can contact them?" He looks at Tobias and me but neither one of us really know much about Harrison's personal life so we all look at Tori who seems lost in her own little world. "Tori?" Zander kneels down and puts his hand on her shoulder. "Does he have a family?"

"No," she stoically says as she slowly lifts her head. Her eyes look hallow, lifeless. Her spark has faded. "His family is long gone. What happened, doc?"

"I'm afraid I don't know. I have to do an autopsy before I can answer that question," he says. "I'll do it first thing in the morning."

"You'll do it now," she brusquely demands. Tobias and I look at each other. We've never herd Tori sound like this.

"Zander, can you do it now?" Tobias asks.

"I'm sorry but I can't," he says. "I've got to get home to let the babysitter go. She has a curfew. Gavin isn't responsible enough to watch his brothers and sisters yet."

"That's fine," Tobias says. "But we need you to do the autopsy first thing in the morning."

"We need the report as soon as possible," I say. "Hopefully it will give us a place to start the investigation."

"Four!" Tori says. She's definitely not happy with this development. "We need an explanation now!"

"You're absolutely right, Tori, but Zander has to get home to his children since Stella is away. If there was another doctor we trusted available to do it, we'd have them start the autopsy immediately but there isn't so we'll just have to wait a few hours."

"Fine!" she scoffs. She gets up off the floor and storms out of the room.

"Don't worry about her," I say as we watch her depart. "She's really taking his death hard. She blames herself for putting him in harm's way in the first place. She recommended him for the position, and she's been handing out the work assignments."

"It's not her fault," Tobias says.

"Everyone in this room knows that but guilt is a heavy burden to carry," I say.

"I understand why she's eager, and I feel bad that I can't get right on the autopsy," Zander says.

"Don't feel bad," I say. "Finding out what's going on around here is important but your family is more important so go home."

"I think I will. It's been a long shift. You should take your own advice," he says.

"As soon as Marlene says we can, we'll go," Tobias says. Zander gives us a confused look. "Tris' blood pressure is a bit high, which is probably my fault. I told her to go for help when we found Harrison."

"It's not your fault," I say, squeezing his hand.

"Oh," Zander says, realizing we aren't using the exam room as a private meeting place. He gets the blood pressure machine out of the corner and hooks me up to it. He hits the button and stands by waiting for the reading. When the blood pressure cuff releases my upper arm, we all look at the numbers. It's still elevated but not nearly as high as it was. "I think you're fine to go home. Try to take it easy but I understand that there's a murderer to catch. I'll tell Marlene that your blood pressure dropped to an acceptable level and I let you go." We thank Zander for everything then walk out of the infirmary hand-in-hand. The tone on the Pit floor is somber. Obviously, word of Harrison's death has begun to spread. Many people look like they want to stop and ask us questions but Tobias' fixed Four stare makes them think twice, and we are not disturbed.

"You're awfully quiet," I say when we're about halfway up the path.

"I keep going over my conversation with Harrison," he says. "I've turned every word over and over again looking for a clue as to what he wanted to tell us but I just can't figure it out. It's so frustrating. Why didn't he just tell me what he knew when he called? What was he afraid of?" He releases my hand and punches the stone wall then draws his hand back, shaking it.

"Was that necessary?" I scold. I take his hand in mine, and he recoils a little from the contact. "I think you should have this looked at. It could be broken." He flexes and releases his fingers a few times. I can tell it hurts but he's acting like it's not or trying to at least.

"I'm okay," he says.

"Are you sure?" I ask, kissing each of his abraded knuckles. His expression goes from severe to affectionate in a heartbeat.

"Yeah, I'm sure," he says, kissing my forehead. "And I'm sorry for acting like such an ass."

"I get it. You're frustrated. You're angry. You're scared. I understand wanting to punch something. I just don't want to see you hurt." He lowers his mouth to mine and gives me a quick, tender kiss.

"Let's go home, love," he says. He rubs his battered hand on our walk toward the Pire, and I insist that he ice it when we get home. "I will."

"Good," I say. Once we reach the apartment, he unlocks the door and holds it open for me.

"Thank you," I say.

"Is it true?" Avery asks, jumping up off the couch the minute we walk in. "Did Harrison really die?"

"I'm afraid so," I say. "How did you find out?"

"We've both gotten several texts," Afton says, following behind her best friend as she looks at her phone, which is alerting her of additional messages. "It's all anyone is talking about."

"What happened?" Avery asks.

"We honestly don't know," Tobias says. Even if we did, we wouldn't be able to answer that question. We're in the middle of an ongoing investigation. "What have you heard?" This is unlike him. He usually hates gossip.

"The talk is all over the place," Avery says. "I've heard he was thrown in the Pit."

"I've heard he was strangled," Afton adds then wrinkles her nose in distaste. "Another one said he was shot."

"But the one I keep hearing the most is that he was poisoned just like Sam was."

"Poisoned?" I ask, extremely confused. "Sam wasn't poisoned."

"Tris," Tobias cautions. He doesn't want me giving away too much information. "Avery, where did you hear that Sam was poisoned?"

"I don't know. It's what everyone is saying," she says. "Isn't it, Afton?"

"Yeah," she says.

"Maybe you two shouldn't listen to rumors," Tobias sternly says.

"Yes, Four," they say at the same time, lowering their eyes submissively.

"Thanks again for coming on such short notice. I gave you both some points for your inconvenience," I say.

"You didn't have to do that," Avery says. "I'd watch them free of charge anytime. They were good tonight, by the way. Tessa was a doll. She sat on the floor most of the night, playing with her blocks. Tyler had us putting puzzles together all night long. I imagine I could put them together blindfolded now!"

"I know what you mean," I say. "He loves those books. He can sit for hours putting the puzzles together then tearing them apart just so he can put them together again. It was a good investment."

"I'm glad you were able to come over," Tobias says. "Every morning he asks when he gets to see his Avey."

"Awe. I've been missing him, too. I just didn't know how much until I saw him," she says. "And I haven't forgotten my promise to take him to the park after initiation is over."

"He'll love that," I say. "You guys better get going. If you leave now, you should make it back to the dorms before curfew."

"Okay, Tris," Avery says. "If I can figure out where I first heard that Sam was poisoned, I'll let you know."

"We appreciate you wanting to help but two people are already dead," Tobias says, an odd tone in his voice. "I don't want you getting hurt, too. Please leave the investigating to us, okay?"

"Okay, Four," she says. "I won't do anything stupid."

"Let's go," Afton says. "Maybe we'll have time to stop by the ice cream parlor."

"Go ahead and stop before you go back to the dorms if you want," I say. "If anyone asks why you're out late, have them call me."

"Thanks, Tris," Avery says. "We'll see you later." Tobias holds the door open for them then locks it behind him once they walk into the hall.

"Poisoned?" I say. "Have you heard that rumor before?" I feel like an ostrich with its head in the sand.

"No, I haven't," he says, getting some ice out of the freezer to put on his hand. "I would love to have Avery investigate where she first heard it but if something were to happen to her, I wouldn't be able to look Zander or Stella in the eye ever again." Now I understand his odd demeanor.

"I understand and totally agree. It's _too_ dangerous," I say. "How's your hand?"

"Sore but the ice feels good," he says. He holds it out between us, and I gently take it between my hands and kiss each scraped knuckle again. "Now it feels even better." I smile at him but then a frown overtakes my face when I think of our predicament.

"What are we going to do about Sam and Harrison's deaths and Molly's break-ins?" I ask.

"We need to have a meeting as soon as possible," he says. "I'll text Will, Tori, and Zeke and tell them to meet us first thing in the morning."

"What if you tell them to meet us here?" I say. "We could make it a breakfast meeting. I think it would be better than meeting in an impersonal office or meeting room. We're all grieving right now."

"I like that idea," he says. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and sends Tori, Will, and Zeke a message to be here at 8 a.m. for a breakfast meeting then he puts his phone on the charger. "Someone is going to have to go through his office and his apartment to see if we can figure out what it was he wanted to tell us."

"Do you think we should do it as a group or would it be better to have Simon and Tony do it?" I ask. Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo are usually tasked with things like this but it might be best if we as leadership do it ourselves.

"I think I'll pose that question to the group tomorrow," he says.

"Do you think that Zander will have the autopsy done by the time we have our meeting?" I ask, anxious for answers.

"I don't know but I think I'll send him a message letting him know about the meeting also that way if he finishes early, he can bring us the report immediately."

"Do you want to go over Peter, Drew, and Molly's files tonight?" I ask.

"I'll go through them but there's no need for you to do it again. We'll compare notes at tomorrow morning's meeting."

"Okay," I say. "I think I'll take a shower and get ready for bed then."

"Okay, love," he says as he sits down at the island. "I'll look over the files then come to bed." I watch as he opens the first folder.

"Are you going to be okay?" I ask. He sets the folder to the side and turns to look at me.

"Come here," he says. I walk to him and straight into his arms. We cling to each other for a time before his lips find mine. One arm snakes around my waist and pulls me even closer while his other slowly moves up my back and into my hair, effectively holding me still so his tongue can pillage my mouth.

"Would you like to join me?" I breathlessly whisper when we come up for air.

"Yeah," he says. After he releases me from his embrace, I grasp his uninjured hand and lead him up the stairs. We stop in Tyler's room to tuck him in then go across the hallway where we find Tessa lying in the middle of her crib with her thumb in her mouth. I don't want to wake her but I also don't want her to make thumb sucking a habit so I very carefully move her hand. She whines a little then turns her head but doesn't wake up. I once again take Tobias' hand in mine and lead him into the bathroom.

"Would you like a bath or a shower?" I ask as I unhurriedly lift his skin tight t-shirt up his chiseled chest and off over his head.

"I think I would like a bath," he say, relieving me of my tank top. He tosses it to the floor where I dropped his as I slide my hands to his waistband.

"That sounds like a nice idea," I say. I unbutton his jeans then slide the zipper down over his burgeoning erection. I move my body as close to his as my rounded belly will allow and slowly pepper his bare chest with kisses while I slide my hands to his jeans and inside his boxer briefs. I squeeze his firm backside then push the fabric down over his hips. I lower myself as I pull them down his body, never taking my eyes off of his. When his feet clear the legs, he steps out of them and kicks them away.

I glide my fingertips down his stomach as I lick up his already hardening length then grasp him tightly, slowly pumping my tight fist up and down. He groans deeply when I take him in my mouth, and when I sigh, his entire body shudders. I slowly swirl my tongue around the sensitive ridge and feel his hands move to the back of my head then I take him further into my wanton mouth. After a minute of this, I release him and kiss my way up his body until his mouth smashes into mine. He kisses me enthusiastically, and I melt into him.

"God, I love you," he roughly says.

"I love you, too, baby," I say. He kisses my neck as I reach over and turn the water on and get the temperature just right. He glides his calloused fingertips up my back and unhooks my sheer, lace bra then pulls it down my arms, exposing me to his greedy eyes. He wraps his arms around me and puts his mouth on mine. He gives me a scorching kiss that makes me go weak in the knees then drags his lips down to my aching breasts. I close my eyes and savor the feel of his hot, wet mouth on me as I run my fingers through his hair. He continues sucking and nibbling my extremely sensitive nipples while helping me shimmy out of my yoga pants and skimpy, lace boy shorts. I lean over and turn off the water while he steps into the tub and sinks down into the water. He looks magnificent stretched out in the soaking tub. I feel his eyes on me as I get the coconut oil body wash out of the shower then kneel down beside the tub on several folded towels. I pour a small amount of the silky soap onto my body pouf and squeeze it until I work up a thick, rich lather. "Do you know how handsome you are?" I don't recognize my voice. It's husky and full of arousal. I put the pouf on his chest, and he closes his eyes as I start washing him. I take this time to examine every inch of his Adonis-like body. I never tire of looking at him. He is absolutely perfect. His eye are still closed when I lean forward and put my lips up against his ear. "Don't you dare fall asleep, Tobias. I have plans for you." He turns his head and opens his eyes. They are black with desire.

"Believe me, I'm not tired," he says, reaching out and pulling my lips to his. He thrusts his tongue into my mouth and expertly caresses mine, arousing me further. I get up and with the help of his steadying hand after I rinse him off and step into the tub. He pulls me down so we are face-to-face with me straddling his thighs. There's just enough room for my legs on either side of his hips. He sits up and grabs the body wash from beside the tub and pours some in his hands. He works up a lather and begins to firmly massage my neck.

"I don't know if I've ever told you this before but you're really good at this," I sigh as he makes his way down to my shoulders.

"You like this?" he asks, moving his hands down my arms.

"Mm-hm."

"I can tell," he says. He methodically moves his slippery hands across every inch of my body, building the anticipation to a fevered height. I'm afraid one touch is going to spark a fire that even this water won't be able to put out. When I'm squeaky clean, he picks up my pouf and dips it in the water then rinses the lather off my body. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him possessively. When I drag my lips away from his, I push on his chest until he is lying against the reclining tub back. I move my legs so I have room for my expanded abdomen but slip a little and elbow him in the chest. "Ugh!"

"Oh, my God! I'm so sorry! Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he roughly says. I move forward just as he sits up, and we bump our heads together … hard. We both stop moving and stare into each other's eyes, rubbing our throbbing foreheads then we burst out laughing.

"I don't think this is going to work, baby." We're both trying to stop laughing, which is making us even louder. "My belly is just too big. It keeps getting in the way, and I can't get comfortable."

"I understand," he says. "I really don't have anywhere for my legs anyway. We'll have to try this again after the baby comes. Shall we move this into the bedroom?"

"Yeah," I say. I give him a tender kiss then manage to get to my feet. I hold my hand out to him and help him up. He bends to retrieve a towel and finds that they are all soaking wet. Apparently, when we were trying to find our way, water splashed all over the floor.

"Stay right here," he says, flipping the plug to let the water out of the tub. "I don't want you falling down." I watch as he steps out on to the flooded floor, being extremely careful not to slip himself. He gets even more towels out of the linen closet, hands me one, and spreads the rest of them on the floor to sop up the water.

"Come here," I say, holding up the towel and shaking it playfully. He smiles and comes within my reach. I dry all the moisture off every inch of his body then he takes the towel from me and slowly runs it down my arms, chest, and back. He then kneels before me and towels off my thighs, calves, and feet. He caresses the backs of my upper thigh, tickling me a bit then kisses my most intimate place. I suck in a lungful of air and say, "Oh, God," but I'm not sure the words are audible or not. I fist my fingers in his hair when his tongue darts out of his mouth and lightly circles my nubbin. "Mmm." He abruptly stops and lifts me into his arms. I cup his face with my hands and impatiently thrust my tongue into his eager mouth.

"God, I can't wait until I'm inside you," he roughly says as he pants against my lips. Somehow he manages to get the door open and we groan. Tessa is on the verge of a meltdown.

"You better put me down," I sigh. He sits me on my feet, and I quickly grab my robe from behind the bathroom door. "Sorry, baby, but I think our daughter needs me."

"It's a good thing I'm not the jealous type," he says, kissing my cheek. I grab his arm and pull him toward me.

"Raincheck?" I ask, a hopeful tone thick in my voice.

"You got it, love," he says.

"I'll hurry," I say, taking his manhood in my hand, "then we can take care of this." A rumbling growl resonates from deep in his throat.

"Take your time," he says, moving my hand away. "We'll pick up where we left off later." Tessa goes from crying to full-fledged wailing. "You better get her before she wakes up her brother." I go to Tessa's crib and pick her up.

"Don't cry, little one," I say. "Mommy's here." After changing her diaper, I sit in her rocking chair, open my robe, and put her to my breast. She latches onto my sensitive nipple and suckles impatiently. "Slow down, baby girl. You shouldn't be this hungry again so soon. I hope you're not getting sick again." After she's nursed for about five minutes, she slows down to a nice steady rhythm. I expect her eyelids to droop after a while but she's still bright eyed. I hum a lullaby after she burps, and she stares up at me. When she finishes nursing, I close up my robe and continue rocking her. "Are you getting tired yet?" She smiles at me and struggles to sit up in my arms so I put her up against my shoulder. I hope that she will lie her head down but she doesn't. "Do you want to go for a walk?" I get up and go into our bedroom so we can lie down with Tobias but he's not there so I go downstairs. "What are you doing?" I sit down on the couch next to him, and he looks at me with grave eyes. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"Zander's new intern dropped this off," he says, holding up the folder in his hand.

"The one with the pink spiky hair and black diamond stud in her nose?" I ask.

"That would be the one."

"What's her name?" I ask, wracking my brain but nothing comes.

"I have no idea," he says.

"Yeah, me neither," I say. "Is that Harrison's autopsy? I didn't think Zander was doing it until tomorrow?"

"No, it's Sam's," he says. "What Avery and Afton said about Sam being poisoned piqued my interest, so I called Zander and told him I wanted her file pulled and sent along with Harrison's autopsy when he got it done. He must have realized how much I wanted this information because he had it brought to me immediately.

"There are also notes from a thorough visual inspection of Harrison's body. His injuries are nearly identical to Sam's. I think it's safe to assume they were both killed by the same person. What interests me the most is that right here in both reports it says there's a small injection site on the neck, which caused a reaction of some sort. I think that's the redness and swelling that I saw and assumed was ligature marks."

"How did we not know about this before?" I ask. Tobias' eyes soften when he looks at Tessa who is smiling up at him.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore tonight," he says. He takes Tessa out of my arms, and she excitedly kicks. I don't think she's going to sleep anytime soon, and I'm having a hard time holding my eyelids open. He hugs her to his chest but she won't lie her head down. "I don't think this one is ready for bed but you are."

"All of a sudden I'm exhausted," I say. "I can barely keep my eyes open."

"I'll stay up with her," he says. "You go to bed."

"I'd like to argue with you but I'm too tired." I give him a soft kiss after running my fingers through his hair. "I love you. I'll see you in the morning."

"I love you, too," he says. I kiss Tessa's head, tell her I love her then go to the staircase. I carefully ascend the stairs and go straight to bed, and I think I fall asleep before my head hits the pillow.


	56. Chapter 56

I can tell I am teetering on the edge of wake and sleep but what I can't figure out is if I've been asleep or awake. A shiver runs through my body, pulling me further away from a peaceful slumber so I roll to my right so I can snuggle up against Tobias' warm body but I'm met by cold, empty sheets instead and groan. I lift my heavy head and try to focus on the green glowing numbers emanating from the bedside table. It takes me a couple times of opening and closing my eyes but they finally focus on the digits … 2:12.

"Ugh," I murmur. I slide out of bed and slip into my short, silky robe, which barely wraps around me anymore. I close it tightly, trying to ward off the chill in the air then go into the bathroom to relieve my screaming bladder. I swear Peanut must be using it as a pillow. After I wash my hands, I stumble into Tessa's room and find her peacefully sleeping in the middle of her crib then go looking for Tobias.

"What are you doing up?" he quietly asks when I reach the living room. He's sitting on the couch surrounded by several open files. He looks stressed.

"I could ask you the same thing," I say. "I got cold. I thought I would snuggle with you but you weren't there." I hear the pouting in my voice. "Come to bed."

"I tried to sleep but I couldn't get my mind off of … _everything_ ," he sighs. I move to the couch and start closing the folders. I neatly stack them on the end table then sit down next to him. He automatically puts his arm around me and draws me close.

"Talk to me," I say.

"This is worse than what happened with the lists or Maria and her cohorts," he says. "Harrison _died_. That could have been any one of us. That could have been _you_. We all need to do a better job of communicating with one another." I turn in his arms and caress his face.

"Let's worry about this in the morning," I say.

"It is morning," he says. I roll my eyes at him.

"I know something that will take your mind off our troubles and probably even help you sleep," I say.

"What might that be, love?" he asks, knowing exactly where my mind is going.

"Leave all this behind, come to bed, and I'll show you," I say.

"Are you sure you're up for this?" he asks as he gets up off the couch, concern thick in his voice as he helps me to my feet.

"I've never been more certain," I say, going up on my tiptoes and pressing my lips to his. "Take me to bed, Mr. Eaton."

"Your wish is my command, Mrs. Eaton," he says, sweeping me up in his arms, causing me to giggle.

"Am I heavy?" I ask, resting my head on his shoulder as he carries me up the stairs.

"Not at all," he chuckles. "Why do you ask?"

"I've gained quite a bit of weight," I say. "I don't want you hurting yourself."

"Love, you've gained a _little_ weight but only because you're pregnant," he says. "I'm not going to get hurt carrying you up the stairs." He searches out my lips and kisses me until we enter our room. He kicks our door shut with his heel then sits me on my feet in front of our bed. I watch in the pale moonlight as he first locks our bedroom door then slowly walks to his side of the bed and turns on the lamp. He comes back to me and stares into my eyes as he unhurriedly unties my sash then glides his hands up my body and pushes my robe off my shoulders. He watches as it pools at my feet. "God, you are so beautiful." A shiver moves through my body as he looks me up and down but this time it isn't from the unseasonably cool air. We wrap our arms around each other, and he moves his lips to my neck, so I toss my head back, exposing more skin to his talented mouth.

"Mmm," I moan as he kisses all around my left ear. He slowly glides a hand up my body to cup my aching breast. He gently massages the swelling flesh then moves his mouth back to mine. He kisses me with a renewed purpose, and I feel his love conveyed with each possessive caress of his tongue on mine. "Aaawww." He firmly puts one hand on my lower back and one between my shoulder blades and slowly lowers me onto the bed. I slide up to the middle of the mattress and watch him step out of his pajama pants. The sight always takes my breath away, and this time is no different. He crawls up the bed and lies down beside me. I crave the feeling of his body on mine so I roll onto my side and press myself against him the best I can, tangling our legs together then cup his face between my palms and pull his mouth to mine. The kiss is wet and wild.

"God, I want you," he says, suddenly rolling me over onto my back and hovering over me. He stares down in my eyes with an awed look. "I _need_ you, Tris."

"I need you, too," I moan, caressing his face. He returns his mouth to mine and kisses me passionately while his free hand finds its way between my parted thighs. As he moves his mouth to my neck, his fingertips start lightly dancing over my nubbin. "Oh, God!" I fist my fingers in his hair and start swaying my hips in time with the movement of his fingers. After he brings me to the brink, he slowly inserts a finger in me and growls lowly.

"Good, you're ready," he says then moves his hand away.

"How do you want me?" I pant, wanting more, _needing_ so much more.

"However is comfortable for you, love," he says. I push him off of me and roll over onto my knees. He kneels behind me as I pull my pillows to me so that I can rest my belly and upper body on them. I feel his hard length against my backside as he blankets my body with his.

"Mmm." I love feeling every inch of him against me.

"Are you okay, love?" he asks, running his hands up my arms and hands then lacing our fingers together while he kisses my neck. "Is this comfortable enough for you?"

"Yeah," I murmur. "You feel so good on me." Even though he isn't giving me his full weight, I'm loving the weight he's giving me. "Make love to me, baby." He moves one of his hands then I feel him place himself at my entrance.

"Are you ready?" he whispers against my ear.

"Mm-hm."

"Let me know if you need me to move," he says and I nod. He kisses my neck then slowly but steadily trusts his hips forward. I groan as he enters me, filling me and stretching me so deep inside. When I've taken all of him, he stills and lets me get used to his size. I turn my head to the side, and he presses his lips to mine. He kisses me sweetly as he unhurriedly pulls out then slides home just as slowly. We keep up this leisurely pace, enjoying each other for quite some time. Our mouths and tongues explore each other's thoroughly, and we whisper words of love.

When the passion grows further, Tobias releases my hands and straightens himself up. He firmly grasps my hips and increases the pace to an incessant, primal tempo. I lift myself up onto my hands, giving myself better leverage against his thrusts. I rock back every time he drives forward, causing him to delve deeper into me with each rhythmic push. _Oh, God, it's so deep this way_.

I listen to our bodies collide again and again over the unsteady panting that's filling the room. It adds to the already erotic mood. Tobias keeps up the fast, somewhat frantic pace as I feel myself climbing incredibly high, incredibly fast. At this rate I won't be long for this world, and I'm right. I cry out his name as I convulse around his poisoning shaft.

" _Tobias!_ " I call out as my arms buckle and I collapse onto the pillows, deplete from the earthshattering orgasm that just ripped through my body. He buries himself deep and stills, coming hard then collapses beside me. I turn my head and find him staring lovingly at me. I reach out and caress his face as we both wait for our labored breathing to return to normal. "That was …"

"Unbelievable," he finishes. "It always is." I give him a sleepy smile, which he recognizes. "You're tired."

"Exhausted actually," I say. "Aren't you tired?"

"I am," he says. I roll off the pillows and toss them to the floor, and Tobias fluffs up one of his and gives it to me. He gets out of bed and pulls the sheet up so I can grab it. He turns off the lamp then unlocks and opens our door. When he returns to bed, I immediately cuddle up next to him, tangling our arms and legs together but sleep alludes me.

"Baby, I'm cold," I say, sleep thick in my voice. He extricates himself from my embrace and goes to the closet to get our quilt. He brings it back to the bed and spreads it over me. The warmth is instant, and I fight falling asleep until Tobias can return to his previous position. "Thanks. I love you." I notice my words are slurring from pure exhaustion.

"I love you, too, Beatrice Grace Eaton," I hear him say before I succumb to sleep.

"Mommy. Tessa's hungwy," I think I hear Tyler say but that can't be right. I _just_ fell asleep. " _Mommy!_ "

"Tris?" Tobias slurs. I tear my eyes open and am greeted by a very impatient-looking Tyler. Hhm. It's morning.

"Tyler, buddy, is Tessa crying?" I ask. _Why can't I hear her?_

"Yeah," he says, dancing from foot to foot.

"Okay," I say. "You need to go potty." After he turns and runs out of the room, I sit up and get my bearings then slide out of bed and put on my robe. I turn around and find Tobias getting up. "What time is it? We didn't oversleep, did we?"

"It's a little after 6 a.m.," he says as he pulls on the pair of sleep pants he took off earlier this morning.

"Did we leave the monitor downstairs?" I ask as we walk into Tessa's room.

"I could have sworn I brought it with me when I came to bed last night but I must not have."

"Come here, little one," I say as I pick her up. "Can you change her diaper? I'll be right back." I hand her off to her father then head into the bathroom and find Tyler sitting on the floor, sobbing. "Hey, Tyler, what's wrong?" I kneel down in front of him, and when he lifts his head, his tear-streamed face nearly tears my heart out.

"I didn't make it." He has to say it three times before I understand, he's crying so hard, and it still takes me a minute to figure out what he's talking about. It hits me when I see his wet pajamas. He had an accident.

"It's okay," I say. "Everyone has accidents."

"They do?" he asks, rubbing his wet, red-rimmed eyes.

"Yes, they do. You know what you should do from now on? You need to go potty when you first get out of bed then do whatever you need to do," I say. He nods somberly. "Now, take your jammies off, and I'll run you a bath. Give me a hug." He gets up and flies into my arms, nearly knocking me over.

"What's going on in here?" Tobias says from the doorway. He's holding Tessa in his arms. She's only wearing a diaper and is keening lowly, trying to stick her fist down her throat. I release Tyler from my embrace and get to my feet.

"Tyler had an accident so he's going to take a bath," I quietly say. "Why don't you stay with him, and I'll feed Tessa."

"Of course," he says. I quickly relieve myself then after washing my hands, I take my girl from her daddy. There was a time I wouldn't have dreamed of peeing in front of another person but once you become a wife and mother, privacy is a luxury.

"Are we going to take the kids to daycare before our meeting?" I ask.

"Actually, Stella is off today and offered to watch them for us," he says. "I'll take them over after Tessa eats."

"Okay," I say. I give him a quick kiss then take Tessa into her room to nurse her. When she finishes, I pick out a simple outfit and dress her for the day. "You sure are a pretty girl." I put little pink bows in her hair to give her matching ponytails on either side of her head then brush her remaining curls. She smiles and coos at me as I run the soft bristles through her hair. "You're such a happy baby, aren't you, little one? Mommy loves you very much." I pick her up off her changing table, and as I hug her close, she nestles her head into the neck like she's hugging me back. "Do you love your mommy?"

"Yes, she does," Tobias says. He kisses my cheek and then Tessa's.

"You're biased," I chuckle.

"Maybe," he says, "or I could just be a great judge of character." He holds his hands out to Tessa and says, "Come to Daddy, Pebbles." I hold her up, and he takes her. _She still looks so small in his large hands._ He holds her up and blows raspberries on her tummy causing her to laugh wildly.

"Are you taking them to Stella's?" I ask.

"Yeah. I'll start breakfast when I get back." I start to follow him down the stairs, and he stops and looks back at me. "What are you doing?"

"I want to say bye to Tyler," I say.

"Oh, of course," he says. "He'll want to say goodbye to you, too."

"Did you give him breakfast?"

"I eat with Zane!" Tyler excitedly says when we walk into the living room. I lower myself onto the ottoman and he rushes into my arms. I hug him tightly and pepper his head with kisses.

"Have fun with Zane. Listen to Stella and do as she asks."

"I be good," he says. "I love you."

"I love you, too, buddy," I say. "I'll see you tonight." Tobias holds out his hand and helps me up then I take Tessa in my arms. "You be good, too, little one. Have fun with Stella. She likes having a baby around again. Of course, who wouldn't like having you around? Mommy loves you." I kiss her head then hand her back to her father and give him a kiss.

"I'll be back soon," he says.

"I'll be here. I love you all," I say as I stand in the doorway waving at them until they are out of sight. After I lock the door, I head upstairs to take a shower. I decide to take advantage of the solitude and don't rush my normal routine, so I linger beneath the hot spray.

After I finish with my shower, I shut off the water, get one of the towels I hung up, and wrap it around my hair then dry off. I forgo the robe and pad down the hallway into the bedroom. I put on a pair of my everyday maternity lingerie and stand in front of the closet trying to figure out what to wear. I look at all my skin tight clothing and feel my mood dropping rapidly. I pull out my favorite pair of jeans and hold them out in front of me, idly wondering if they'll ever fit again. I sigh and put them back then pull out a staple pair of stretchy black maternity yoga pants. I pull them up my changing body then search for a shirt. I look at all my tank tops, which are now stretched out in the abdominal area and I sigh. I guess I'll have to pack these away after Peanut is born and buy some new ones. I finally just grab the one closest to me and pull it on. The next five-and-a-half-weeks can't go by fast enough. I feel as big as a barn, and I'm not happy about it. I step over in front of the mirror and take the towel off my damp, wild hair. I'm staring at myself, muttering under my breath about nothing fitting and life not being fair when I hear Tobias chuckling from behind me. I narrow my eyes and glare at him in the mirror, willing my stare to either make him burst into flames or turn into stone.

"I suggest if you _ever_ want sex again that you wipe that smirk off your face," I say, whipping around to face him. His smile disappears when he takes in my fury. I point at my now huge belly. "This is all _your_ fault. Look what you've turned me into. Your wife the _whale_." His face falls further when the irrational tears start. I don't even try to hold them back. "I can't see my feet anymore. My ankles are swollen twice their size. I can't lie in one position for more than five minutes without my entire body feeling like it's on fire. You don't want to have sex anymore." Uncontrollable sobs wrack my body, and he finally approaches me slowly with his hands out in front of him like he's approaching a rabid dog or a wild animal. I can actually see fear in his eyes, and I don't have to wonder what it's of. I know it's of the damn baby hormones. "Please get her out of me before I lose my mind," I blubber. He wraps his arms around me and lets me cry.

"You know I love you more than anything," he says while I'm weeping against his chest. He slowly guides me to the bed, and we sit down. "You are beautiful in my eyes. You always have been, you always will be. You're not as big as a barn. I'll take you to Amity right now and let you stand in front of one to prove it. You're not a whale. Whales are even larger than barns. You have an amazing body." He puts a hand on my belly. "It's grown and stretched to accommodate our growing daughter. You're not fat either. You're pregnant, love, and I think you're beautiful."

"You're just saying that because you want to have sex," I mumble. He chuckles again.

"Make up your mind, love," he says. "Either I want sex all the time or I won't touch you, which you know isn't true. We made love, what, three times yesterday? You can't have it both ways."

"I know I'm being irrational but I'm miserable, Tobias," I say. "Let's call Isobel and have her get this kid out of me."

"I'm afraid it doesn't work that way," he softly says, lying us back on the bed. He holds me close until my sanity return.

"I'm sorry," I say. I tilt my head up and look into his eyes. He has a blank look on his face.

"Do you remember that movie we watched when we first started dating? The one with the girl whose head spun around." I shudder at the memory.

"Yeah," I slowly say. "I hated that movie."

"I could tell," he says. "You hid your head against my shoulder most of the night. I loved it."

"Is there a point to this story?" I grumpily say.

"Yeah, I thought your head was just getting ready to spin round a couple minutes ago." A playful grin spreads across his stoic face, and I hit his arm and roll my eyes.

"You're not really that funny," I say.

"I try," he says, giving me a tender kiss. He gets off the bed then pulls me to my feet. "Are you feeling better? In all seriousness, you probably don't want to …"

"Freak out?"

"Your words … not mine, love," he says. "... freak out in front of the others."

"I know. I'm good. I swear," I say. "We better get breakfast started. What's on the menu?"

"Scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns, biscuits, waffles, and fruit salad."

"That's quite a spread," I say. "Are we planning on feeding half of Dauntless?"

"I really have no idea what people like," he says.

"That's thoughtful of you," I say. "I'll fix my hair then meet you in the kitchen." He kisses my cheek when we part at the bathroom. I quickly dry my hair and style it simply then head downstairs. "What would you like me to do?"

"Why don't you set the island," he says as he busies himself in the kitchen. "I can't wait to get in to our new place and have an actual table for meals."

"I know. I can't either," I say as I get the plates and glasses out of the cupboard. As he cooks, I set each place setting for our guests. "Have you heard anything from Zander yet?"

"He's doing the autopsy as we speak," he says. "I imagine he'll show up sometime during our meeting with the results."

"Did you read through Peter, Drew, and Molly's files?" I ask.

"Yeah, when I couldn't sleep. Nice catch by the way about the familial connection," he says. "I'm sure I would have overlooked that minor detail reading all that information. I told you that you would be a good leader." I blush at his compliment.

"I better get all the files in one place just in case someone wants to read them instead of relying on our summary."

I go into the living room and step around the club chair and stand and stare at the empty end table. _Where'd they go?_ My eyes scan the room and confusion fills me.

"Tobias? Why did you move the files?" I ask.

"Um, I didn't," he says.

"I must be going crazy. I swear things have been moving around the apartment lately," I say, picking up the files and walking back into the kitchen. "First my charm bracelet was in the wrong drawer. Then the picnic basket was in the wrong cupboard. The other day my gray eyeliner wasn't with my everyday makeup; it was in the drawer with my special occasion makeup. Now, this pile of folders is on the wrong end table. I _swear_ I left it on that one last night before we went upstairs." I point to the table between the couch and the chair. "Did you come down after I fell asleep?"

"Tris, I didn't move them," he says, sounding more like Four. "You know a couple times over the past six weeks I thought I misplaced my phone. I would swear I left it on the charger and it would be on my bedside table or vice versa. I just thought the stress of initiation was getting to me but now I'm not so sure."

"Tobias? The baby monitor," I whisper. I know that I'm supposed to be Dauntless and all but this is the one of the few times in my life that I've felt genuine fear. "Has someone been coming into our home?"


	57. Chapter 57

The stack of files in my hand drops and scatters across the floor like they are moving in slow motion. Tobias stops what he's doing and rushes toward me, taking me in his arms, ignoring the official paperwork strewn throughout our kitchen. Panic, which started in my chest is rapidly moving outward and taking over my body. My knees buckle but Tobias keeps me from crumpling to the floor in a heap. He helps me into the living room so that I can sit down on the loveseat.

"Tris, love, you need to calm down before you go into labor," he gently says. That wouldn't be so bad. "We don't know if someone has been in here."

"You don't believe that any more than I do," I say, my voice quivering.

"Listen, we've been packing items and moving them to the new apartment, so we could have accidentally misplaced things. We've both been stressed about initiation and then Sam died. We learned Molly is up to something. Now we have Harrison's death to contend with. Maybe we've just been preoccupied." I think about what he's saying and it makes perfect sense. Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions.

"Can we at least have Zeke check the security cameras?" I ask. "It would make me feel better."

"Of course," he says. A knock on the door tears our attention away from each other. Tobias gets up to answer it.

"Hey, man," Zeke says as he steps inside. Speak of the devil. The minute he sees the look on my face he knows something is wrong. "What's going on? Did you get some news about Harrison?"

"Zeke, I'm glad you're the first one here," Tobias says, closing the door behind him. "Tris and I _might_ have a problem." As he emphasizes the word "might," he looks my way. "Without going into a lot of detail – there's just not enough time right now – we have reason to believe that someone's been breaking into the apartment." Zeke's normally happy go lucky expression slowly fades and is replaced by an eerily similar Four-like look.

"I expect an explanation later but what do you need from me?" he asks, sounding more like his best friend's alter ego than himself.

"I need you to pull security cam footage from the stairway and hallway," Tobias says.

"The footage from the Pire, too," I say. "What's going on here could be related to Molly's intrusion or Sam and Harrison's deaths."

"We don't know that," Tobias says.

"You're right," I say. "We don't know _anything_."

"That's a lot of footage, Tris, on top of all the other feeds we have to go through," Zeke says, interrupting our bickering. "It's going to take time to go through it."

"I'm volunteering myself to help go through it," I say. "I contemplated maternity leave last night when we were walking to the Pit. I'm going to have to start limiting the number of trips there so spending my days in the control room seems perfect."

"In that case, I'll get right on it after the meeting," he says. "Uh, what's up with the paper?" Oh, I forgot about that.

"I dropped it," I say.

I start to get up so I can clean up my mess but Tobias says, "I'll get it."

"I'll help you," Zeke says.

"Just pick them up, and I'll fix the files." They quickly gather the scattered paper and Zeke hands them to me. I put them in a large pile so I can sort them later. "Wow it smells good in here." My stomach growls embarrassingly loudly when I sit down next to Zeke at the island.

"Hungry, Tris?" he asks with a smirk on his face.

"You want a beat down?" I ask, a little brusquer than I intend.

"Don't irritate my pregnant wife, Zeke," Tobias sighs. I flashback to my irrational meltdown less than an hour ago and groan.

"Sorry, Tris," he says.

"It's okay, Zeke," I mutter. Neither he nor Tobias say anything, which is probably a good thing. I don't want my bad mood to return in front of our guests. I've had enough of that to last a lifetime. Just as Tobias puts a platter of fluffy buttermilk pancakes on the island with the rest of the food, our other guests arrive.

"Come in," I say as I open the door to Will who looks on edge and Tori who looks like she hasn't slept a wink. "You're just in time. Breakfast is ready."

"I'm not hungry," Tori mutters. "I want to know what happened to Harrison, and I want to know now."

"We don't have any new information," Tobias says, obviously trying to rein in his anger. "So why don't you sit down and grab a plate. We'll talk business once we've eaten."

"Do you think you made enough food, Four?" Will asks.

"Tris is hungry," Zeke says, picking up the plate in front of him. I roll my eyes and fight the urge to make a snide comment. Everyone stares at him while he loads up the plate then digs in. "Are you all just going to sit there and watch me eat?" This finally breaks the tension and everyone makes themselves a bite to eat, even Tori.

"We have some news," I say.

"Let me guess," Zeke says. "You're pregnant." Everyone groans at his joke.

"Seriously, dude," Will says with an exasperated sigh. "Have you been drinking?"

"When I'm on edge, I make jokes," he says. "It's a coping mechanism. Sorry, Tris. What's your news?"

"When I went through Peter, Drew, and Molly's files, I found something." I quickly tell them about the suspected familial connection that I found. "I'd show you but I accidentally dropped the files earlier and have to put them back in order. I wanted to call Ruth and confirm my suspicions but Four didn't think it was a good idea."

"I agree with him. She might not be able to be trusted," Will says. I furrow my brows at him in confusion and he says, "Christina told me about Ruth."

"Who is this Ruth person we're talking about?" Tori asks. Her hands are wrapped around a mug of hot coffee. I imagine it's the only thing that's keeping her awake at the moment.

"Peter's mother," I say.

"I'm confused," she says. "Why would Peter's mother be visiting you?"

"We're friends." This gets a reaction out of her, and her face actually becomes animated for the first time since walked through the door so I give her a brief overview of our relationship. "I like her."

"I like her, too," Tobias says, "but I think it's a better idea to contact Jack Kang to see if your suspicions are correct."

"Even if they're family, it doesn't tell us what Molly is doing breaking in here or if it's related to Sam and Harrison's deaths," Tori says.

"It could be a motive," Tobias says. "They could want revenge for Peter's death."

"If that's the case, then Sam and Harrison's deaths are probably not related," Will says, pushing his now empty plate away. "They have no connection to Peter."

"You might be right," I say. "Although, I don't want to dismiss anything just yet."

"Should we take this into the other room?" Tobias asks since we've all finished breakfast. "It's more comfortable, and we have a lot of ground to cover." I know he's only moving us for my benefit but I'm thankful. The barstools aren't as comfortable as they once were. We leave the dirty dishes on the counters and head into the living room. Tobias and I will clean the mess up later.

Will and Zeke sit down on the loveseat while Tori and I sit down on the opposite ends of the couch. Tobias perches on the very edge of the club chair, poised to jump up at any moment so he can pace in front of us. There's a palpable melancholy in the room. The last time we had an official meeting, Harrison was with us, safe and sound, and now he's in the morgue.

"Before we get started, I need to say something," Tobias says. "I misconstrued how difficult it would be to balance leadership and initiate training. I thought I was doing the right thing by turning over the reins to you and training the transfers like I've done the past two years but I now know it was the wrong decision. It left us unnecessarily shorthanded and put unneeded stress on you.

"Tris has already told me that she won't be training the transfers again next year, and it's my decision that I won't be as well. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that if I had been in charge the things that happened wouldn't have happened but maybe if we'd have had all hands on deck, Sam's murderer would have been caught before they could have killed Harrison, too."

"You're talking like you have proof that they were killed by the same person," Tori says.

"It's just conjecture at this point but last night, Zander's new intern brought me a copy of Sam's autopsy report and Harrison's detailed preautopsy visual inspection report. They had identical markings on their necks. When I was going over these reports, I realized that I had assumed Sam died of strangulation because of those markings but as of right now her cause of death is listed as homicide-undetermined. Did you know this?"

"Yes," Tori says.

"Why didn't you let me know?" he calmly asks.

"You were on leave," she defiantly says. " _I_ was in charge. _I_ was making the decisions."

"Hey, there is no need for that tone," Tobias sternly says. "We are supposed to be a team. If we're fighting amongst ourselves what kind of message does that send to the Dauntless members? We've worked too hard to turn things around here this past year to let what's going on now ruin it. If the situation is too difficult for any of you, speak up. We'll move forward without you, no hard feelings." Silence fills the room after Tobias finishes his speech.

"I'm not going anywhere," Tori finally says. She lifts herself from the couch and walks over to the wall of windows and stands there staring out, her arms wrapped round herself like she's trying to hold herself together. "I don't know how to process how I'm feeling. Harrison wouldn't be dead if it weren't for me. Not only did I volunteer his name for leadership but I'm the one who tasked him with following up on all the leads in Sam's death. If it weren't for me he'd still be here."

"Harrison's death is _not_ your fault, Tori," I say. "He was an adult who made his own decisions. If he didn't want to be a leader, he would have declined our offer."

"You've got to find a way to deal with the guilt," Will says. "Might I suggest putting your energy in helping catch whoever killed him? Now let's get this meeting started. What do we know?" Tori pulls herself together and sits back down on the couch.

"Alright this is what we know: Sam's manner of death is undetermined, although it's been classified as a homicide. There was an unidentified dark, hooded figure moving through Dauntless on security camera footage around the time of her death. Molly was also seen on the security cameras around the time of Sam's death talking to the unidentified person. Tris scoured all the Candor transfer files from the last three years looking for a connection between Sam and Molly but there doesn't appear to be one. Last night, Harrison called me and asked to meet by the net door. He said he found something but refused to give me an explanation until we were face-to-face. Tris and I arranged to meet him in one hour. When we arrived at the prearranged meeting spot, he wasn't there. I called him, which led two young girls to find him alive but unconscious in a little used hallway that doesn't have security cameras. Like I said earlier, Zander's new intern brought me copies of reports after I had a conversation with Avery and Afton. They said there's a rumor going around Dauntless that Sam was poisoned."

"Poisoned?" Tori and Zeke say at the same time, interrupting Tobias but Will just hangs his head.

"You've heard the rumor," I state, knowing what I'm saying is true.

"Not directly. I heard it from Christina," he says. "Apparently, it's all the initiates talked about right after Sam's death. I probably should have reported it, but I thought it was just the kids spreading unsubstantiated gossip."

"It could be," Tobias says. "Hopefully, we'll have some answers soon. We don't know a lot about Harrison's death but what we do know is that he had the exact same redness, bruising, and swelling on his neck that Sam did. They both also had injection marks near the reaction site. To me, that's concrete proof the deaths are related. Tori, what exactly did you have him working on?"

"He was solely tasked with following up on the leads that came in about Sam's death," Tori says.

"Do you have a copy of the leads?" I ask.

"On my computer in my office," she says. "I'll print a copy for you after the meeting."

"Had he made any progress?" Tobias asks.

"None that he told me about," she says, sounding frustrated. "I should have followed up with him more often but I had my plate full, too."

"Tori and I have been busy with the day-to-day operations," Will says. "We haven't been able to dedicate much time to the investigation but that's why she put Harrison on it fulltime." Tobias gets up from the chair and starts pacing before us.

"I haven't said this enough but you guys are doing a great job," he says. "Zeke, do you have an update on the control room?"

"I enlisted Lauren's help in tweaking the facial recognition program," he says. "It can now be run in real time and alert us when a match is made."

"In Dauntless?" Tobias asks.

"The city," he says, obviously proud of himself. "I uploaded Molly and Drew's photos and am running them through the past six months of footage throughout the entire city. The only downside is there are no cameras in the factionless sector so if whoever is helping them goes to them, we won't see it. All matches are going into a special folder on my computer. I asked James to help me out. I think we all trust him."

"Excellent choice," Tobias says, "and good thinking enlisting Lauren to help you with expanding the facial recognition parameters."

"I'll start sorting through the files later today," he says. "I have James looking at the footage from the Pit last night. Is there anything you want me to have him look out for?"

"Let's not bias him," I say. "Hopefully, he'll see something that stands out to him as odd and it will lead us in the right direction."

"I like that idea," Tobias says. "Maybe we've been too specific when telling the control room personnel what to look for. I think we need to regroup and start at the beginning. How's Nathan doing?"

"He's a quick learner but he only started yesterday," Zeke says.

"How about teaming him up with James?" Tobias asks. "What do you think?"

"I actually think that's a great idea," Zeke says. "It'll free me up."

"There's something else we need to talk about," I say. "Should we go through Harrison's things or leave it up to Simon and Tony?"

"I think we should go through his office," Tori says.

"I agree," Will says. "I'm fine with Simon and Tony cleaning out his apartment. They'll look for work-related items, correct?"

"Yeah," Tobias says. "Are we all in agreement?"

"Yes," Tori says as Will says, "Yeah." Zeke and I nod.

"Alright then. I'll call Simon and Tony and have them start cleaning out his apartment. I'll also call Jack Kang and ask him to investigate the connection between Peter, Drew, and Molly. I'll spend the rest of the day in the control room looking for leads," Tobias says. "Tori, I need you to get me a copy of what Harrison was working on. Is it too much to ask you to go through his office? If it is, I'll get someone else."

"I can do it, Four," she says. "But I thought we were all going to do it together."

"We have a lot to do. Contact me immediately if you find anything," he says. "Tris, I need you to pull an additional five years of Candor transfer files and go through them with a fine-tooth comb."

"I'll get started on that as soon as I fix the files I dropped earlier," I say.

"When you're done with that I need your assistance in the control room," he says. "Will, I need you to canvass the Pit. Talk to as many people as you can. Maybe someone saw something and doesn't even know it. Zeke, as soon as James has a summary of what he saw on the Pit footage last night, let me know. I think that's everything. Any of you have anything for me?"

"I don't think so," Zeke says. "Loved the eggs, by the way. They were delicious. They were even better than my mom's." Hana's a magnificent cook but no one makes eggs like Tobias.

"The food was wonderful," Will says. "May I make a suggestion?" We all nod and give him our undivided attention. "We need to make this a monthly occurrence. We can alternate homes or maybe Four, you and Tris would like to volunteer to hold it all the time, especially with your new apartment being finished soon. You have the most space."

"I like the idea," I say.

"So do I," Tori says.

"Are you going to replace Harrison?" Zeke asks. Tori gasps.

"Eventually," Tobias says. "We're used to running a five-person team; however, we need to be smart about who the replacement will be. It needs to be someone we all trust completely. As of right now, we aren't in any hurry. Everyone agree?" A chorus of yeses echoes throughout the room just as knocking sends Tobias to the door.

"That's probably Dr. Parrish," I say.

"Hello," Zander says as he walks into the room. He holds up a folder and says, "I've got Harrison's autopsy results right here. I need to show you something. Can we use the island?"

"Of course," Tobias says. "I'll clean it off."

"I'll help you," I say as I lift myself off the couch with a little trouble. I load the dishwasher as he puts the leftovers away. After I wipe off the countertop, Zander opens the folder and pulls out two photographs and lays them side-by-side on the island.

"Are you all aware that I found an injection mark on both Harrison and Sam when I performed their autopsies?" he asks and we all nod. "You see this area around the injection site?" Zander points at the photo of Harrison first and then to Sam's. "It's called necrotic tissue."

"English, doc," Tori gruffly says.

"Sorry, Tori," he says, displaying more patience with her than I would be able to muster. "It's basically dead tissue and, in my opinion, it's quite unusual for this degree of necrosis to occur in such a short amount of time so I excised both wounds and ran some tests on the tissue." He hands two sheets of paper to Tobias. "These are the results."

"Am I reading this right?" Tobias asks as the color drains out of his face.

"What is it?" I ask. "What killed them?"

"The results are inconclusive but my best guess is some form of advanced death serum," Zander cryptically says.


	58. Chapter 58

"Death serum?" I choke out. I'm surprised my voice is even audible. My hands tremble lightly, and my heart rate increases twofold. I feel faint as memories of last New Year's Eve wash over me. The only thing holding me up at this moment is Tobias' arm firmly around my waist. I know the hell of fighting off death serum first hand. Poor Sam and Harrison. They weren't able to survive.

"Tris, love, please sit down," Tobias whispers in my ear as he pulls a barstool out for me. I thank him as I lower myself onto the wooden chair. I expect him to move his arm but he keeps it in place. "What exactly do you mean by advanced death serum, Zander?"

"This is where things get a bit dicey, Four," he says as he turns around and starts fitfully pacing in front of the closed door while anxiously running a hand through his hair. "Sam and Harrison were both without a doubt poisoned. The problem is I have no idea what killed them. The toxicology report is all over the map. I've never seen anything quite like it before in my entire life, and I've been doing this a long time. What I do know is that one of the active ingredients from death serum is on the toxicology report. That's why I say advanced death serum." Tobias slides his hand into mine and squeezes it almost painfully. We have a maniac out there injecting random people with something that is guaranteed to kill them. I blow out the breath I'm holding when my lungs start burning painfully. I think we're all at a loss for words.

"I'm going to Harrison's office to see if I can find what he wanted to tell you, Four. It's obvious to me that he learned something about Sam's death that threatened the killer. I'll have Simon and Tony start on his apartment," Tori says in one breath, her word running together. She turns and is out the door before any of us can react.

"I agree with her," Will says. "Whoever killed Sam found out about Harrison's investigation, whatever that might be. It's the only thing that makes sense. If you don't need me for anything else, I'll head to the Pit."

"I think that's it for now," Tobias says. "But before you go home for the night, would you send me an update on what you learn today."

"You got it," he says. He reaches his hand out and Tobias shakes it then he too heads out the door.

"Zeke, why don't you go on ahead to the control room," Tobias says. "I'll meet up with you as soon as I'm finished here. I need a minute with Zander."

"Alright, Four," he says. After the door closes behind him, Tobias flips the lock.

"Death serum?" I say again. I'm having trouble believing this.

"What aren't you telling us?" Tobias says. I look up over my shoulder at him. What's he talking about?

"How did you know?" Zander asks, narrowing his eyes at us.

"I'd like to think we're good friends," Tobias says. "So what else is there?"

"Death serum isn't the only serum I identified but I don't know what it means," he says. He pulls out a new sheet of paper and hands it to Tobias. "I also isolated the active ingredients in a simulation serum but it isn't the same makeup of the simulation serum we use here."

"Ours _is_ the only simulation serum," Tobias says. "Isn't it?" It's like a lightbulb goes off in my head, and I jump up, startling both Tobias and Zander.

"It can't be, can it?" I turn and look at my husband. My head starts throbbing painfully as my heart hammers in my chest. "They said it was all destroyed." I notice my voice climb with each syllable until I think only a dog can hear it.

"What are you talking about?" Zander asks. I watch Tobias' face morph from confused to knowing. He starts pacing while he runs his hands restlessly through his hair. "Four? Tris?"

"I think Tris is talking about the simulation serum Erudite wanted to use on Dauntless to overthrow Abnegation but her father told us it was all destroyed."

"That actually is the first thing about this situation that makes any sense," Zander says rubbing his stubble-covered chin between his thumb and forefinger. He takes the paper out of Tobias' hand and studies it carefully. "Tris, you're absolutely correct about your assumption. The transmitters are what's different. I can't believe I missed it."

"Why would someone combine serums? What's the motive?" I ponder out loud.

"I have no idea," Zander says. "If you give a person death serum, it's going to kill them. Well, unless it's _you_. I have no idea what motive a person would have to combine serums."

"This is a nightmare," I say. "We should warn people."

"I'm not sure about that," Tobias says.

"Why not?" I ask, interrupting his thought.

"First of all, warn people about what exactly? We don't know anything. Not really. If we tell the members that an unknown subject is running round poisoning people, we are going to have panic on our hands."

"I guess you're right," I say. "Do we tell the others about this?"

"I think we have to," he says.

"I've got to get back to the infirmary," Zander says. "I have patients to see."

"I know this might be a lot to ask, but can you work on identifying every compound on that report and what it does exactly?" Tobias asks. "We need this information sooner rather than later."

"I will make it my priority in between patients," he says. "Do you mind if I take a sample to Erudite and have them test it?"

"I'd rather everything be done in house but if you hit a wall, do what you need to do," Tobias says. "Just keep me posted." I sway into his side, suddenly lightheaded, and he helps me sit down on the couch.

"Are you feeling okay, Tris?" Zander asks.

"Just a bit dizzy," I say. "It's probably the stress."

"Relax," Zander says as he kneels down in front of me. He picks up my left hand, which is resting in my lap and puts his fingertips on the pulse point of my wrist. "Your pulse is very high. Have you noticed any changes in the baby's movement?"

"She's still right now," I slowly say, now beginning to worry about Peanut.

"Can you work from home?" he asks.

"She sure can," Tobias says for me.

"I'd like you to rest," he says. "I'll send Marlene or Isobel to check on you this afternoon. Keep track of the baby's movement."

"Okay," I say, worry now making my stomach ache.

"If you need me, Tris, just call me. I'll see you guys later," he says, his hand on the doorknob. After the door closes behind him, I let out the defeated feelings I've been holding in. Tears start streaming down my face and my breath comes faster and faster.

"Tris, love, please calm down," Tobias says. He sits down on the sofa next to me and cups my cheeks between his palms and puts his face in mine. "Breathe with me. Slow and easy." I do my best to match him breath for breath and after a couple minutes, I finally feel myself calming down. He moves his hands and wraps his arms around me. I collapse against him.

"We have a killer running around Dauntless who wants to be some sort of mad scientist, someone has been coming into our home messing with us, and now I can't even keep our little Peanut safe. I'm such a failure," I sob into his shoulder.

"I don't want to hear you say anything like that ever again," Tobias firmly says. "You're not a failure."

"I'm sick of all this shit," I grumble. "It's been one year of nothing but trouble."

"Nothing?" he asks, his tone … _off_. I lift my head and look at him. He's trying to hide his feelings but I can see it. It's subtle but I just hurt his feelings.

"That's not entirely true," I say. I gently caress his face with the back of my fingers. "I met you. It was one of the best days of my life. We fell in love, which is a miracle in itself. Who knew we would find our other halves when we joined Dauntless. I gave you my heart and my body, and you gave me our little Peanut." I run my hand over my rounded abdomen, and he covers it with his. When I feel her move, a weight lifts. "The day you made me your wife is the happiest day of my life. Nothing will ever compare but it is only slightly above the days we signed Tyler and Tessa's adoption papers making them _ours_."

"That's quite an eventful year, Mrs. Eaton," he says.

"Yes, it is, Mr. Eaton," I say. "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings."

"You didn't."

"Don't lie to me, Tobias," I say.

"Alright. It smarted … a little," he says.

"I'm sorry I've been all over the place this morning," I say. "I don't really feel quite like myself today."

"Hormones?"

"Yeah. It should actually be a four letter word," I grumpily joke.

"I really need to get going," he says. "I'll go down to my office and get the Candor files for you."

"I love you, Tobias," I say. I grab his head and pull his lips to mine. We move them together gently at first but when the passion becomes almost too much to bear, he drags his lips away.

"I love you, too, Tris," he pants breathlessly. "Bed or couch?"

"What?"

"Do you want to spend the day in bed or on the couch?"

"Oh," I say, disappointment obvious in my voice. I glance up at him through my lashes and he smirks at me.

"If there wasn't so much to do right now, I'd stay and we could make love," he says.

"I understand why you have to go," I say. "Will you come home for lunch?"

"Of course," he says. "I think I'll go to the Pit and get us pizza. Does that sound good?"

"Mm-hm. Maybe some cheesecake, too. The chocolate, peanut butter, and pretzel one."

"Alright. Pizza and cheesecake. Anything else?" _Just you._

"No," I say. "I'm good." Tobias leaves me alone but returns a couple minutes later with the remaining Candor transfer files from the past five years. I know that I have to reassemble the files I destroyed earlier so I go upstairs and after piling the pillows just so, I climb up on the bed and lean against the padded headboard. It takes me the rest of the morning to get the files back to what they were before I dropped them. I set them to the side and before I start going through the files Tobias brought me, I decide to get something to drink. I carefully make my way to the kitchen and fill a tall glass of ice half way with unsweetened black tea then top it off with lemonade. When I hear a key in the door, my heart leaps into my throat but when I see Tobias, I feel foolish.

"What are you doing up, love?" he asks as he sets the pizza box he's holding on the island. He kisses my cheek as he passes me to put the cheesecake in the refrigerator.

I hold up my glass and say, "I was thirsty."

"Sit. I'll bring you a slice."

"Two please," I say as I lower myself onto the end of the couch. I put my feet up on the ottoman and say, "Peanut's really hungry today."

"Is Peanut the only one?" he asks with a chuckle. He kisses my head then hands me a plate with two large slices of pepperoni. "I'll be right back."

"Have you learned anything?" I ask when he comes out of the bathroom.

"Nothing new I'm afraid," he says. "I told Zeke and Will about what Zander found. I still have to tell Tori but I haven't seen her since she left. I knocked on Harrison's office door but there was no answer. I hope she's okay. His death is tragic but it's making her a bit … crazy."

"I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks so," I say. "This pizza is wonderful, by the way. Thanks for getting it."

"Have you found anything in the new files?" he asks.

"I haven't gotten to them yet," I say. "The files I dropped were worse than I thought. Has Zeke pulled the security cam footage from our hallway?"

"Yeah," he says. "I'm going to have him upload it to a removable drive so you can go through it from here. I'll bring it home tonight. How are you feeling?"

"On edge," I say. "What if we can't figure this out?"

"Whoever is doing this is going to make a mistake sooner or later, and we'll get them," he says. "Then our lives will go back to normal." I set my empty plate on the end table then snuggle up against his side. He puts his arm around me and kisses my temple. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine," I say. "I think I'll take a quick nap after Isobel or Marlene stops by. Then I'll start on the files. Is there anything in particular I'm looking for?"

"A connection to Peter, Drew, Molly, or Sam," he says.

"Do you think she was targeted or in the wrong place at the wrong time?" I ask.

"I don't know," he says. "Does it matter?"

"If we could answer that question, it might tell us which direction to look."

"Good point," he says. "Let's talk about something else."

"Like what?" I say.

"Us," he says.

"What about us?" I ask as I draw little hearts on his upper thigh. "Have you changed your mind about taking me to bed?"

"Unfortunately not. We need a date," he says. "Just you and me, Saturday night. We'll get dressed up. Maybe we'll go dancing or have a picnic. What do you say?"

"A date, Mr. Eaton?" I ask. "That sounds wonderful but should we? There's so much going on right now."

"Forget about all that," he says. "We need to concentrate on us."

"Okay," I say. "How about we see if Mom and Dad want to watch the kids. The other day, Tyler asked when he would get to stay with Grandma and Grandpa again."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," he says. "I'll set everything up. You don't worry about a thing." A brilliant smile transforms his face, and I feel like I'm staring into my very own private sun. "I know exactly what we're going to do. I should get back to the control room. The sooner I'm home for the day the sooner we can do this." He puts his finger on my chin and tilts my head back. He presses his soft, warm lips to mine and kisses me gently. My heart hitches in my chest when he slowly runs his tongue along my bottom lip. I instinctively open my mouth for him, and he slips his tongue between my parted lips then thoroughly mates it with mine. We break away from each other, panting heavily. He glides his hand down my cheek, into my hair and is moving his mouth back to mine when a knock on the door interrupts us. He growls at the interruption then gets up. "Damn interruption," he mutters. I can't help but agree.

"Hi, Isobel," I say when she walks into the room.

"I better go," Tobias gruffly says. "I'll get the kids from Zander and Stella's before I come home. I love you. Nice seeing you, Isobel."

"You too, Four," she says. Tobias gives me a warm smile and a wink when she turns her back to him and my tummy muscles tighten. _How does he do that with just a look?_

"Bye. Love you, too," I say then he walks out the door.

"Did I interrupt something?" she asks.

"No," I sigh. "He needed to get back to work anyway. There's a lot going on around here."

"I heard about Harrison," she says. "I'm sorry. Let's check your blood pressure then I'll get out of your hair. Is the baby moving around?"

"Yes," I say, automatically moving my free hand to my tummy. I rub it gently and can feel her moving from both the inside and the out. It's surreal. "She's stretching up a storm right now. Her new thing is lying directly on my bladder. I swear I have to pee constantly." We are both quiet while she listens for my blood pressure through the stethoscope.

"Not bad; although it could be better," she says. "Can I make a suggestion?"

"Of course," I say.

"Get as much rest as you can. I'm not unsympathetic to Dauntless' plight but you don't want to go into early labor."

"Is that a possibility?" She has me worried.

"It could happen. I'm not saying it will though. I just want you and your baby to be healthy."

"I appreciate all you do," I say. "How are you feeling? You're really starting to show."

"This is nothing," she says, putting her hands on her small bump. "I was nearly twice this big at three months with the boys. I'm actually measuring small for nearly five months."

"I forget what it's like to be small," I say. "I miss being able to see my feet." _Hhm. That's a sentence I never thought I would say._

"Tris, you may not think so but you are probably the tiniest pregnant woman I've ever known," she says. I study her face but can't tell if she's serious or not. "You wait until I'm eight months pregnant and you'll know what big is." She looks at the clock and sighs. "I've got to get back to the infirmary."

"One quick question," I say as she gets up. She turns and looks down at me. "Four asked me on a date Saturday night. Will it be a problem for me to go?"

"As long as you take it easy I don't see a problem with it," she says. "Actually getting away from everything for a few hours might help your stress level."

"Thanks, Isobel," I say. I manage to get off the couch on my own and lock the door behind her after she leaves. I put the leftover pizza in the refrigerator, pour myself another drink, and head upstairs. My body is really dragging and needs some rest so I lie down but my mind refuses to be quieted. I squeeze my eyes shut in an effort to block out the noise in my head and finally manage to drift off.


	59. Chapter 59

My nap is fitful, and I wake up a little over an hour later. I stretch and roll onto my side. When I open my eyes, I'm surprised to see both my children sleeping soundly beside to me. I smile as I reach out and pull the throw that's covering them up around their chins then sit up and grab the first Candor file on the nightstand.

"You're awake," Tobias quietly says from the doorway as I pick up the third file.

"You're home," I whisper.

"Stella called. One of the twins is sick," he says as he comes into the room. "She was afraid of exposing Tyler and Tessa any longer. I decided to bring them home instead of taking them to daycare. I can work here, too. Our girl was already fast asleep when I picked them up, and the minute we got home, Tyler wanted to see you. He climbed up on the bed and promptly fell asleep waiting for you to wake up. I didn't have the heart to move him so I brought Tessa in also. They've been asleep ever since." He eases himself onto the far side of the bed and places his laptop in his lap. He watches video files while I go through the remaining Candor transfer files.

"Hhm."

"What?" he asks.

"Did you know that Lauren was a transfer from Candor?" I ask as I close her file, which is the last one. "She always seemed so Dauntless to me. I just figured she was born here."

"I guess I never asked," he says. "She was already here when I got here. Did you find anything?"

"No," I say. "It's kind of discouraging. I thought for sure we would find a clue in these."

"You did," he says. "I called and talked to Jack earlier, and he confirmed your suspicions. Peter and Molly are first cousins and Drew is Molly's cousin by marriage. They were thick as thieves growing up and made enemies easily. If there was a perceived threat to one, they all avenged that threat. He thinks that Molly and/or Drew wouldn't hesitate to seek revenge for Peter's death. As a matter of fact, he guarantees it will happen sooner or later."

"Great," I mutter. "I wish someone could tell me what I did to catch Peter's eye."

"You were an Abnegation member who joined Dauntless. You know that's unheard of. You were strong, brave," he says. "I wasn't the only one intrigued. Unfortunately, Peter was a psychopath."

"And so are Molly and Drew," I say. "Do you think they have something to do with Sam and Harrison's murders?"

"If I were a betting man, I'd say yes but the truth is, at this time, we have no proof," he says.

"Did you happen to call my dad and ask about the simulation serum Erudite created?"

"I did," he says. "He assured me that all the long-range serum stored at Erudite was destroyed when the conspiracy was detected. He was actually there and witnessed it; however, he can't guarantee that someone didn't take some out of storage before that time. No one did an inventory to make sure that it all was accounted for."

"Should I call Caleb and ask if there's a way to detect if any was stolen?" I ask.

"I actually called and left him a message already," he says. "I want to see if he can send us a copy of the serum's composition to give to Zander. When I talk to him, I'll ask your question." Tessa starts whining and her eyelids slowly flutter open. She looks up at Tobias and starts crying. "What did I do to you, Pebbles?" He picks her up, and she cries even louder. He checks her diaper but it's dry then he checks to see if she's hungry but she doesn't seem interested but she doesn't quiet down either. I slip out of bed and take her so she doesn't wake Tyler.

"I'll take her," I say. "What's wrong, little one?" I pad down the hallway and into her room. I sit down in her rocking chair and hold her with her arm tucked under mine and her body facing me. After a couple minutes she calms down and stares up at me. "Are you feeling better? Did you have a bad dream? You usually don't look at Daddy and start screaming. You almost woke your brother up." She smiles for the first time since she opened her eyes. "You little stinker! You think waking your brother up is funny?" She laughs out loud.

"Is she feeling better?" Tobias asks.

"Yeah," I say.

"Hi, Mommy," Tyler says from his father's feet. "You was sleepin'."

"I know," I say. "I needed a nap. Did your sister wake you up?"

"Yeah," he sighs. "I go play now." He turns and runs out of the room. Tobias steps out into the hallway, watching him.

"He's going downstairs," he says. "I better go with him."

"Okay." I look down at Tessa and ask, "Do you want to go downstairs with Daddy and Tyler, too?" Her smile tells me she does so I get up and follow after them. I kiss her head then sit her on the floor in front of the television. "Do you want your blocks?" She moves her arms excitedly as I put the blocks down in front of her. "There you go, little one." I sit down on the couch next to Tobias and we watch the kids playing for a few minutes.

"We have happy kids," he says, kissing my temple.

"Yeah, we do," I say, squeezing his knee. "Shall we go through more of the security cam footage?"

"I only have one laptop," he says.

"Four eyes are better than two," I say. "We can watch together, okay?"

"Sounds great," he says. "Can I get you anything before we begin?"

"I'll take another drink," I say.

"Tyler, do you want some milk?" Tobias asks.

"Yes, peas," he says. Tobias goes to the kitchen and comes back a few minutes later with my ice tea-lemonade concoction and a sippy cup full of milk for Tyler. "Thanks, Daddy."

"You're welcome, buddy," he says. He sits down beside me after handing me the glass and pulls his computer onto his lap. I lean up against him, and he hits the play button.

"Mommy, I'm hungwy," Tyler says. I look at the clock and am surprised that two hours have passed. Tobias looks at the clock also then shuts the laptop.

"I'm sorry," he says. "I think Mommy and Daddy got lost in the files. Tyler, how would you like spaghetti and meatballs for supper?"

"Yeah!" he says. "That is good."

"I'll help you," I say after he gets up.

"You don't have to," he says.

"I know," I say, scooting to the edge of the couch. "But I want to."

"Okay," he says. He helps me up, and we go into the kitchen. He starts making the sauce while I put the meatballs together so I can get them in the oven. I try to concentrate on what I'm doing but Tobias' close proximity in the kitchen, _cooking_ , sets my blood to boiling. He senses my stare and says, "Is something wrong?"

"You're sexy," I whisper.

"Really?" He smirks while he looks down out of the corner of his eyes at me.

"You know how much I love my man in the kitchen," I say as I run my hand down his back. He jumps when I give his butt a little squeeze. "This reminds me of my birthday."

"If I remember correctly you attacked me while I was cooking you spaghetti."

"That's how I remember it, too," I say, unable to stop smiling. He leans down and kisses my neck.

"Maybe I'll make us some dessert after the kids go to bed," he says with a wink. "You can attack me again."

"That sounds nice," I say. He lowers his mouth towards mine but I put a finger over his lips and shake my head, giving him a coy smile. "I'd kiss you but I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to stop."

"That wouldn't be good," he says, glancing the kids' way. "Why don't you sit down, and I'll finish up in here."

"I will once I get the meatballs in the oven," I say. Just then Tessa starts wailing. "Or I'll check on her."

"Uh-oh!" Tyler says when I reach the living room. "She falled over." I pick Tessa up and she's so mad she's having a hard time catching her breath.

"Did you scare yourself?" I say, bouncing her a little. She lies her head on my shoulder and whimpers. "My poor girl. You're having a rough afternoon, aren't you? I hope this isn't an indication of what your night's going to be like." I sit us down on the end of the couch, and she starts making sucking noises. "Are you hungry?"

"Yeah," Tyler says.

"Can you wait until supper is ready?" I ask as I put Tessa to my breast. She latches onto my nipple and suckles heartily.

"No," he pouts.

"Tobias, can you get Tyler a cheese stick?" I ask. "Daddy will get you a small snack. We don't want you to ruin your appetite."

"Thanks," he says as he gets up off the floor. He runs to Tobias who gives him some string cheese.

"Walk with that. I don't want you to choke," Tobias says.

"Otay, Daddy," he says. He comes and sits next to me while he eats the cheese.

"Did that help?" I ask.

"Yeah," he says.

"I'm sorry I didn't ask you earlier, buddy. Did you have fun with Zane this morning?" He proceeds to excitedly tell me about Zane's new race track that they spent the morning playing with.

"When do I get my new woom?" he asks. It's been a while since this subject has come up. Thankfully, it's no longer a daily occurrence like it used to.

"Well, I think we should get to move in next week," I say. "Does that make you happy?"

"Mm-hm. But I miss my old woom," he says. "It my fiwst woom." My heart constricts painfully at his statement. He never really talks about being factionless but the rare times it comes up makes me not only sad but mad. No child should have to live that way.

"I'll miss this apartment, too," I softly say. "I thought it would be our home forever."

"Awe you sad?" he asks, leaning his head against my arm.

"It will be a little sad when we move but it will be exciting, too," I say. "And we'll have plenty of room for Teagan when we bring her home."

"Do we have to?" he sighs. I hear Tobias stop what he's doing in the kitchen.

"You don't want the baby to be born?" I ask, confused. He's never talked like this before.

"I like it just us," he says.

"But you love the baby," I say, rubbing my tummy lovingly. "You talk to her and tell her so all the time. Has something changed your mind?" He looks up at me, pondering my question.

"No. I love you, baby," he says to my tummy and then he kisses it. As he's talking to her, Peanut kicks, hard.

"She loves you, too," I say. "She just kicked me."

"Daddy say it not nice to kick," he says, very seriously. I have to hide my amusement. I remember being in the training room with Tyler and Zane when they started kicking each other. Tobias told them it wasn't nice to kick.

"You're right. You should never kick anyone. It isn't nice but the baby doesn't know that. When she moves around, she kicks me. You can feel her." I take his hands and place them on my tummy where Peanut is using me as a punching bag. "See?" His face has a look of awe.

"Does it huwt?"

"No," I say.

"Does she know I talk to hew?" he asks.

"I think so. It seems that when you, Mommy, or Daddy talk to her that she listens and moves all around. She also gets really excited when Tessa laughs. Your sisters are going to be the best of friends. Kind of like twins because they're so close in age."

"We be close?" he asks, his bottom lip sticking out.

"Of course you'll be close," I say. "You are the best big brother, Tyler Aaron. I can tell that you'll always be there watching out for your little sisters. Sometimes they'll annoy you for one reason or another but you'll always stick up for them if someone else tries to hurt them."

"Mommy? Do you think I can have a baby bwudda, too?" he asks, his innocent eyes wide. "I be good!"

"Um, maybe one day you can have a little brother but not for a while," I say. "Don't you think three kids at home will be enough?"

"Otay," he says. He looks at me thoughtfully for a moment them his face lights up. "Can we have a puppy then? Zane is getting a dog. Can we get dog, too?" Wow, asking for a brother and a dog in one fell swoop. That's my boy!

"I don't know about a dog," Tobias says from the kitchen. He obviously has been listening to our conversation. "It's a big responsibility." Tyler turns around on the couch and looks toward his father.

"I big boy," he says. "It be otay."

"Mommy and I will have to talk about it," he says. "That doesn't mean we'll get you a dog though. Zane has four older brothers and sisters at home to help with a pet. Who would help you?"

"Mommy and you," he say, hopefully.

"Tyler, I don't have time right now to take care of a puppy," I say. I lift Tessa up to my shoulder and pat her back in an effort to get her to burp. "I have to take care of you and Tessa and the new baby when she comes. I also have to look out for your Daddy and don't forget, I have a job. What would we do with a dog while you are at daycare and we're at work?" He frowns at me, not liking my answer. I think he knows it's going to be no.

"He can come with me," he says.

"I don't think daycare covers dogs," Tobias says.

"Maybe?" Tyler says.

"I said Mommy and Daddy have to talk about it," Tobias says. His tone is more forceful than he usually uses with our son but nowhere near the Four tone he uses with others.

"Otay," Tyler pouts.

"Don't pout," Tobias says. "You just said you're a big boy."

"Sowwy, Daddy," he says.

"Supper will be ready soon," I say. "Please pick your puzzles up, buddy." He's slow to get off the couch but doesn't argue with me. He separates the pieces that are lying on the floor then puts them away. Tessa finishes nursing just as he puts the puzzle book back on the shelf. I put her in her swing and head into the kitchen. Tyler sits in front of her, making her laugh.

"How would you like to take the kids to the playground down the street when we finish with supper?" Tobias quietly asks so Tyler can't overhear us. The little Dauntless park, approximately two blocks away, is much smaller than the sprawling city park but it has ample swings and slides but we don't go often because Tyler prefers the big jungle gym in town.

"That sounds like a nice idea," I say. "But do you think I should be going out?"

"I forgot about that, love," he says. "It's not a long walk and you can sit when we get there. Maybe some fresh air would do us all some good tonight. But if you don't think you should, we'll stay home."

"No, I want to go," I say. "But let's wait and tell him after supper is over and the kitchen is cleaned up so he doesn't try to rush us."

"Good idea," he says as he takes the delicious-smelling meatballs out of the oven. "Can you make the salad?"

"I sure can," I say. Instead of making the usual Caesar salad, I quickly throw together a lettuce salad and lightly dress it with Italian dressing. After I finish it, I put our place settings out on the island. "Tyler, buddy, supper is ready."

"Yeah!" he squeals as he gets up from in front of Tessa. She watches as he walks away then starts crying.

"Tobias, did you ever get a booster seat for Tessa?" I ask.

"Yeah. It's in the pantry," he says. "I'll get it out for her."

"What's up, little one?" I ask as I take her out of her swing. She stops crying and jabbers loudly. "Daddy's going to get a place for you to sit so you won't feel left out." He takes the booster seat and attaches it to the barstool to my right. "Are you ready?" I sit her in the well-padded seat and buckle her in so she can't fall out. Tears come to my eyes as she sits there looking around. I remember holding her in my arms for the first time. She was so tiny and now she's sitting at the table with the family. Tobias must see my emotional state because he comes up behind me and sits his hands on my shoulders, reassuringly. "Our baby girl is growing so fast."

"I know," he quietly says. He leans over and kisses my temple. "Come here, buddy. You're going to sit next to me from now on." He lifts Tyler into his booster seat around the corner.

"Hi, Tess," he says. "I see you." She turns her head at the sound of her brother's voice and grins at him. He makes a silly face and she starts laughing. Tobias sits down after putting a platter of freshly baked garlic bread on the island. We fix our plates, making sure to keep them out of Tessa's reach.

"You going?" Tyler asks as I get up to get her a toy.

"I'm just getting your sister something to play with so she'll stop trying to grab the food," I say.

"She not eatin'?" he asks.

"She already ate, and she's too little for big people food," Tobias says. I hand her the small lavender butterfly teether she loves to chew on, and she pounds it on the island before shoving it in her mouth.

"This is wonderful," I say as I put another bite of spaghetti and meatballs in my mouth.

"Yeah! It weally, weally good," Tyler says, smiling around the garlic bread in his hand.

"That's quite a compliment from my family," Tobias says. "I love cooking for you guys."

"Well, you know how much I love it when you cook," I say. "Makes my mouth water … amongst other things." The forkful of food heading toward Tobias' mouth hovers in midair as he stares at me, probably shocked by what I just said. I wink at him and the fork, food and all, clatters loudly to the plate. "Oops."

"You dwopped it, you dwopped it," Tyler singsongs.

"I sure did, buddy," he says as he picks up the fork. "Your mother distracted me. Are you done or would you like some more spaghetti and meatballs?" Tyler leans back in his chair and puts both his hands on his protruding tummy.

"I full," he says.

"What would you like to do this evening?" Tobias asks him.

"We watch movie?" he asks.

"That sounds nice but would you like to go to the playground up the block?" I ask. His eyes widen and a bright smile crosses his face.

"Yeah!" he says.

"We need to clean up the kitchen and you need to go potty before we go," I say. Tobias lifts him out of the booster chair and sits him on his feet, and he runs to the powder room tucked under the stairs. I clean off the island then as I move toward the dishwasher, Tobias pulls me against him, surprising me. My mouth pops open, and he takes advantage. He presses his lips to mine and thrusts his tongue deep into my mouth. I feel my knees weaken when his hand grazes my breast then fists in my hair. He pulls his lips from mine, leaving us both panting loudly.

"You really shouldn't tease me," he whispers in my ear then he thrusts his tongue in making me ache for him. He shifts his body and rubs his burgeoning erection against my hip. "Two can play this game." The dishes slip from my grip but his quick reflexes save us from having to buy a whole new set.

"I weady to go," Tyler says from in front of the door. Tobias smirks at me then loads the dishwasher.

"I'm going to change Tessa," I say, still sounding a little breathy. "I'll be back down in a minute. Will you get Tyler's jacket. It's chilly. I don't want him coming down with something."

"You might want to grab a sweatshirt, too," he says. I kiss his cheek then pick Tessa up and carry her to her room. I change her dirty diaper and take her out of the outfit she's worn all day. I put on a pair of long coral-colored pants and a long sleeved melon-colored microfiber shirt with large coral and white flowers on it.

"This color looks really good on you with your dark hair," I tell her. "I know you're not a huge fan but I'm going to put this hat on you so you don't come down with a cold or ear infection. None of us want that ever again, do we, little one?" I take the beanie with a large bow on the front that matches her shirt and put it on her head after I take her little ponytails out and pull it down to cover her ears. "Now Mommy has to get some comfortable shoes and a sweatshirt." I pick her up off her changing table and go into my bedroom. I grab black loafers and my new dark gray breastfeeding hoodie that Tobias surprised me with a week or so ago just in case Tessa gets hungry. I sit her in the middle of the bed and diligently watch her as I put my shoes on and pull the hoodie over my head. Thankfully, she doesn't move. She's too busy being entertained by me getting dressed. I pick her up, and she immediately grabs the hoodie string and starts chewing on it. "You chew on everything, don't you, little one."

"Are we ready to go?" Tobias asks when we step into the living room. Tyler is on his shoulders in his black jean jacket.

"I think you need a jacket, too, Tobias," I say as I gently take the string out of Tessa's mouth and hand her the butterfly teether.

"Okay," he says. He sits Tyler on his feet then jogs up the stairs two steps at a time. He comes back down wearing his black, lightweight fleece-lined hooded jean jacket. He returns Tyler to his shoulders then we leave, double checking that the door is locked behind us. When we reach the bottom of the stairs, I put Tessa in the stroller but she refuses to lie down so I decide to carry her and Tobias pushes the diaper bag in the stroller.

"We're going to have to fix this so she can sit up instead of lying down," I say as we exit the Pire. "She likes looking around." She's holding her head high, chewing on the butterfly. Her little eyes are closely watching where we're going. I kiss her cheek and she laughs. "Are my kisses funny?" She laughs again. "Did you have a chance to give your idea to Tori and Will about refurbishing one of these buildings for the aging Dauntless members before Harrison died?"

"No," Tobias says looking at me oddly. "That was just yesterday we talked about that."

"No. It was quite a while ago," I say.

"Love, Zeke, you, and I talked about it just _yesterday_. I know it seems longer because of everything that's went on in the past 24 hours but it wasn't."

"Are you sure?" I ask, dumbfounded. It seems like that conversation took place weeks not hours ago.

"Positive."

"I guess my mind is playing tricks on me," I say. "When things get back to normal, that idea needs put to a vote." When we reach the little playground, we're not surprised to find it empty. Not a lot of people use it but if one of the surrounding buildings was the one chosen for restoration, maybe some money could be put into this park, too. Tobias, Tessa, and I sit on an old, rickety bench and watch Tyler as he uses one of the slides over and over.

"Where do you think he gets his energy from?" Tobias asks. He's resting his arm on the bench behind me, and I'm leaning up against him, holding Tessa in my arms while she watches Tyler, cooing and laughing the entire time.

"My guess is he sneaks into our bedroom at night and steals it from me," I say. Tobias chuckles softly.

"Is that a fact?" he says. He pulls me a little closer and kisses my temple. "Maybe I should go get the car and drive you home so you don't wear yourself out. I plan on having my way with you once the kids are asleep."

"Is _that_ a fact?" I say. "You have mighty high plans. I was thinking of going straight to bed after they do … to sleep."

"Are you teasing me again?" he asks.

"I don't know," I say, lifting my hand and running it through his hair. "Am I?"

"I think you are, Mrs. Eaton," he says.

"Would I do that, Mr. Eaton?" He moves and puts his lips against my ear.

"I think you like keeping me hard," he says.

"Tobias!" I gasp. "Not in front of the baby."

"Sorry," he says. "I'm going to work some of this excess energy off and play with Tyler. Maybe I'll wear myself out then _I'll_ go to bed early." He gets up, kisses my head, and walks over to the swings. "You want to swing, buddy?" Tyler goes down the slide one last time then runs to his dad. Tobias puts him in one of the toddler swings and patiently pushes him for more than an hour while I sit on the bench with Tessa. She pulls her hat off and just after I put it back on, she tears it off again.

"Do you like this game, Tessa Beatrice?" I ask as I put it back on again. "Leave your hat on. I don't want you sick." She slowly moves her hand up, not taking her eyes off mine and rips it off her head with a giggle. I roll my eyes and shake my head. "You little monster." I pick the hat up off the ground then hug her close and kiss her head. When I put the hat in her diaper bag, she starts whining. "I can't bend over and pick it up off the ground anymore. My belly keeps getting in the way so no getting upset with Mommy." She whines at me some more like she's giving me hell. I lift her and kiss her on both cheeks but she doesn't stop whining so I decide to give her what she wants. I root around in the diaper bag and find her hat then put it back on thinking she'll yank it right back off but she surprises me by leaving it on but this doesn't make her happy either. I put my knuckle in her mouth knowing she can't possibly be hungry and she suckles deftly, holding onto me with both her little hands. When she realizes nothing is coming out, she starts screaming loudly. This gains Tobias and Tyler's attention.

"Is she okay?" Tobias asks.

"She's just hungry again," I say.

"Do you want to take her home?" he asks. At this, Tyler's face falls.

"No," I say. "I'll feed her now." I dig out a blanket and unzip the sweatshirt so I can feed her. Once I get everything situated, I place her to my breast and she nurses vigorously. "You better not be coming down with something. You didn't eat that long ago." I lift the blanket and check on her when she slows, and her eyelids are closing and opening. I pull her away from my chest, and she starts loudly crying again. I fix my shirt and burp her then switch sides. The moment she latches on, she quiets down and her eyelids begin to flutter again. She looks peaceful as she nurses. I caress her little face, and she opens her eyes. She gives me a sleepy little smile then lets her eyelids flutter closed again. I cover her head so she can finish in peace.

"Hello, _Tris_ ," someone says from right behind me. My whole body tenses at the sound of her familiar voice.

"What the hell are you doing here, Olivia?"


	60. Chapter 60

It's amazing how one minute I'm contentedly sitting on an old weathered bench at the Dauntless playground, nursing my daughter and watching my husband and son happily play while my unborn child stretches within me and the next moment visions of slow, painful murder dance in my head. My hatred of the bitch standing behind me hasn't lessened. As a matter of fact, I think it's grown as impossible as it may seem.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I repeat.

"Should you really be talking that way in front of your kids?" she says with false sweetness lacing her voice. I turn and see Tyler staring at me from the bottom of the slide while Tobias determinedly marches my way. "Hello, Tobias. It's lovely to see you." There's nothing false in her voice when she speaks to him. I'm no fool. She's in love with my husband.

"You're not supposed to be here, Olivia," Tobias gruffly says when he reaches me, his Four mask firmly in place. "You're not welcome in Dauntless anymore."

"Why is it you only act this way when _she's_ around?" she pouts. "We shouldn't have to hide our love and pretend anymore." I can feel my blood start to boil but Tobias' fury keeps me rooted in place.

"Is there something _wrong_ with you?" he hatefully spits. I notice movement at the same time Tobias does. "Tyler, buddy, will you go back and play? I'll call you when we're ready to go home." He hesitates for a minute then turns and runs back to the slide. Tobias takes two steps forward and gets in the bitches face. "Hear me now." His voice is low, steady, and deadly. "This is the last time I'm going to say this to you." I've never heard him sound quite like this before. If he were to ever speak to me like this, I would be terrified of him. "I. Do. Not. _Like_. You. I have _never_ liked you. We do _not_ have a relationship. We will _never_ have a relationship. I am a married man and whatever game this is you're playing is disrespectful not only to me but to my wife, and I'm not going to stand for it anymore. You have no business here. _Leave …_ before I have you arrested for trespassing." He holds his arm out in the direction of the factionless sector.

"I'm not playing any games," she says, squaring her shoulders and jutting out her bottom lip. It's obvious that she doesn't like being talked down to. "I can tell by how you look at me that you want me, and I want you, too." _Shit, this bitch is crazier than I thought._ All at once, three things happens: The bitch grabs _my_ husband and shoves her tongue down his throat, he pushes her off of him, and I push Tessa into his arms after I jump to my feet. My closed fist connects with the left side of her chin, and she flies backwards landing on her ass. I can feel Tobias' hand trying to pull me back as I kick her multiple times in the ribcage.

"Touch my husband again, you fucking bitch, and I swear I'll kill you," I scream at her.

"Tris, love, she's not worth it," Tobias says, pulling me away. "Um, you might want to fix your shirt." I look down at my bare breast hanging out for all to see and feel heat climb into my cheeks. I put myself away and zip up the hoodie.

"Can I have Tessa, please?" I ask, holding my arms out. He hands her to me, and I hold her close, instantly calming down. "Can we go home now?" He nods. I step over the bitch who is moaning at my feet, holding her chin and head toward Tyler. "Hey, buddy. Are you ready to go home?" He looks up at me through lowered lashes, and I see something I rarely see in his eyes … fear. I kneel down in front of him, my heart pounding painfully in my chest. "What's wrong?"

"You so mad," he quietly states. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. The last thing I ever want is for my children to be frightened because of me.

"Did I scare you?" I ask. He just stares back at me with wide eyes, and it feels like a knife is slowly thrust into my heart over and over again. _I've got to fix this._ "I'm so sorry I scared you, buddy. Mommy didn't mean to."

"Who she?" he asks, looking over my shoulder.

"She's no one," I stress.

"She kiss Daddy," he states, tears welling up in his eyes. "He gonna leave us?" That _fucking_ bitch. If I could get my hands on her again, I would annihilate her.

"Tyler Aaron Eaton, I'm not going anywhere," Tobias says, kneeling down beside me. "You, Tessa, and Mommy are my family … my _life_ , and I love you all very, very much. I would never leave you."

"You kiss hew like Mommy."

"No, I didn't," he says. "I promise."

"Mommy hit hew," he says.

"Yes, she did," he proudly says.

"But you tell me it bad to hit," he says. Oh, God! Tobias and I look at each other. He's absolutely right. How are we going to handle this?

"You're right," I say. "It isn't nice to hit. Mommy shouldn't have done that." _Not where you could see me anyway._

"You say sowwy?" he innocently asks and I sigh. Yeah, I can do that for him. I manage to get to my feet and hold my hand out to him. I have to do a better job of being a parent. He takes my hand, and I lead him to the bitch who is now sitting on the bench I vacated, holding her side. I can see the bruise coming out on her chin already, and I hide my smile for Tyler's sake.

"I've taught my son that hitting another person is never the way to resolve a problem. I'm sorry I lost my temper but you need to learn boundaries." _Whore._ "Don't _ever_ kiss my husband again. He doesn't want you. He's told you that countless times. Do you understand me?" She narrows her eyes at me then finally nods.

"If you forget what Tris is saying to you, _I'll_ make good on her earlier promise," Tobias says. It was more of a threat but I get what he's saying. "Come on, guys." He lifts Tyler up and puts him onto his shoulders then we head back toward the compound. "I'm sorry."

"Not your fault," I gruffly say.

"You're angry," he says.

"Not at you," I say. We're quiet the rest of the way to the Pire even though there's a lot to say.

"Time for bed," Tobias says when we enter the apartment. He sits Tyler on his feet by the couch. He turns and looks up at us.

"Thank you fo taking me to the pawk," he says. "I had fun."

"I'm glad you had fun," I say. "Can you go upstairs and change into your PJs? Mommy and Daddy will be up in a few minutes to tuck you in."

"Otay," he says then he carefully climbs the stairs.

"That was a hell of a punch," Tobias says, taking my right hand in his. We look at the red, abraded knuckles. "I've never loved you more than when you dropped that bitch on her ass."

"I've never been angrier in my life than when she kissed you," I spit, remembering her lips on his. "I could have ripped her head off with my bare hands."

"I'd have let you," he murmurs.

"Let's get the kids to bed then we can talk," I say. Tessa fell asleep on our way home and doesn't know that anything is wrong but I'm worried that witnessing his mother in a brawl will keep Tyler awake long past his bedtime.

"Okay," he says. We turn the lights off and go upstairs.

"I'll put her to bed," I say. "Would you like to help me?"

"I'd love to," he says. He sticks his head in Tyler's room and says, "Mommy and I will be in soon. We're putting Tessa down. Okay?"

"Otay, Daddy," he says. We walk into the Tessa's room and while I carefully take her out of her little outfit, Tobias gets her well-worn pink on pink sleeper covered in little hearts out. "This might be too little."

"I hope not," I say. "That little kitten with the heart-shaped glasses is so cute. It's one of my favorites." After I put her in a clean diaper, Tobias carefully dresses her in the sleeper. He's right. This is probably one of the last times she'll get to wear it. He gently picks her up and kisses her forehead.

"Goodnight, Pebbles. Your Daddy loves you so much." I love seeing him with her. There's nothing sexier than a man being a father and taking care of his children.

"Sleep tight, little one," I say as I press my lips to her forehead. "Mommy loves you." After placing her in the crib we go back in to Tyler's room. Tobias stops in his tracks causing me to run into him. "Hey!"

"Sshh," he quietly says. "He's asleep already." With Tobias' help, I lower myself to the edge of his bed and pull his blanket up to his chin and tuck him in.

"I love you, buddy," I quietly say as I kiss his temple. "Sleep well." Tobias leans over and kisses his head and tells him he loves him then helps me up. Tyler's eyes flutter open, and he smiles at us then goes right back to sleep. "That was a close one," Tobias says as we walk into the bathroom.

"I thought we woke him up," I say. "But I doubt he'll remember it in the morning." I take my hoodie off over my head and let it drop to the floor.

"Talk to me, love," he says, gently running his hand down my arm. "I don't want her to ruin our evening."

"I could have easily killed that bitch tonight with my bare hands and not thought twice," I say. "And my son was standing not 20 feet away watching me. What kind of mother does that make me? I feel like a hypocrite, Tobias." I run my hands through my hair. "How is he supposed to take my guidance seriously when I turn around and do the exact opposite of what I teach him? I don't want to be a 'do as I say instead of what I do' type of Mom. My children deserve better. What if he goes to daycare tomorrow and Bobby Ridinger decides to pick on him and he knocks him on his ass because that's what his Mommy did?" Tobias pushes off the sink and wraps me in his arms.

"Tris, love, you need to calm down," he says. I cling to him and will the anxiety away but it goes nowhere. "You are a wonderful, loving mother. Everyone knows that. Please don't doubt yourself. You're right though. We both have to find a balance when it comes to teaching our children values and living a Dauntless lifestyle. I think it's both our instinct to act first and ask questions later. It's what we were taught during initiation. It's how we're programmed, so to speak." I lean back and look up into his eyes.

"But is it right?" I ask. I wriggle my way out of his embrace and head out into the hallway. I stand motionless, my mind spinning, trying to figure out what I'm doing. I feel Tobias standing nearby but he's letting me figure things out on my own. I take his hand and lead him to the stairway. We descend into the living room, which is lit only by the moonlight coming in through the wall of windows.

"What are you doing, love?" he quietly asks from right behind me.

"I don't know," I sigh. I stare out the window at the lit cityscape in the distance and lean against him. His close proximity is making me feel better. "Why do you think she showed up now after all this time? I honestly thought we were free from her."

"I wish I could answer that but I can't," he says. "Maybe it's a coincidence."

"Do you believe that?" He's quiet for a time, and I know what his answer will be.

"No, love, I don't," he says. "She had help fabricating those photos. When Sam died, we just dropped that investigation. Out of sight, out of mind. Well, we'll just have to pick it back up tomorrow."

"So much to do," I mutter. I stand staring out the window leaning against Tobias for quite some time. We don't talk. We don't touch. We don't move. "It's a beautiful night."

"Yeah, it is," he says. "A bit cool though."

"You mentioned dessert earlier," I say. "Maybe we could heat things up."

"Is that a cheesy pickup line you're using on me or are you asking for my famous brownies?" he murmurs in my ear.

"I want brownies, baby," I say with a giggle, my good mood returning. He chuckles as he kisses my neck then turns and leads us into the kitchen.

"Up you go," he says as he lifts me onto the island. "Stay put." He kisses the end of my nose then goes to the large pantry cupboard and rifles through it for a minute or so. When the burning sulfur of a lit match swirls around my head, I realize he's lighting candles instead of turning on the lights.

"Are you going for a romantic ambiance?" I ask.

"Mm-hm," he sexily murmurs as he gathers all the ingredients to make my favorite turtle brownies.

"Can I help you?" I ask.

"You just sit there and look pretty."

"Are you objectifying me?" I tease. He stops and puts his hands on either side of my legs, bringing us face to face.

"Well you do belong to me," he says, his look proprietary.

"Yeah, I do," I say, leaning forward and giving him a quick, chaste, closed-mouthed kiss. "Let me help you."

"I tell you what. If you can sit there while I mix up these brownies and not touch me, I'll reward you later."

"And if I can't keep my hands to myself?" I ask while wiggling my fingers at him.

"Well then maybe I'll keep _my_ hands to myself," he says.

"Okay. I'll play your little game but mark my words," I whisper in his ear, "by the end of the night you'll be begging me to touch you."

"You sound pretty confident," he says.

"You better start my brownies, mister," I say. "Your wife is hungry."

"Alright." He steps away from me and preheats the oven then sits each of the ingredients on the island around me. He's made these brownies numerous times in the past year so he doesn't have to read the recipe anymore. He puts the wet ingredients into a small bowl then starts measuring out the dry ones into a larger one. When he gets to the flour, some of it swirls up like a dust storm and lands all over his black shirt. He tries brushing it off but only proceeds to spread the white powder over the front of his shirt until it looks dark gray. "Ugh. I'm making a mess." He crosses his arms, grasps the hem of his soiled shirt, and rips it up and off his body leaving me a quivering mess of hormones. _Hhm. Did he do that on purpose?_ I squirm a bit where I'm sitting and actually slide my hands under my thighs so I won't be tempted to reach out and rake my nails down his now naked chest. After he finishes the batter, he pours it into a glass baking dish, sprinkles cut pecans over the top, and puts it in the oven. He sets the timer then turns back to me. He runs his finger along the edge of the mixing bowl, gathering up the remaining batter and holds it up in front of me. "Want a taste?" I open my mouth, and he sticks his finger inside. I close my lips around it and suck hard, swirling my tongue seductively around the end, licking the thick chocolate off. I watch his eyes dilate and his breath get caught in his throat. He drags his finger from my mouth and hurriedly replaces it with his eager lips. We move them together with a hungry urgency but my hands stay rooted at my side.

"Ah," I moan when he takes his lips from mine.

"I can taste the chocolate on your tongue, love," he roughly says. "I don't know why but it tastes better coming from your mouth." He puts his hands on my waist and lowers me to my feet. He takes my hand in his, lacing our fingers together, and leads me to the couch. "I thought we would be more comfortable over here."

"Do you have something in mind?" I ask.

"I have a lot in mind," he says. He sits down and pulls me sideways into his lap so my belly is out of the way. He puts his hands in my hair and lowers his lips to my neck. I close my eyes and hang my head back, savoring the feeling of his mouth on me. I ball my hands into fists, itching to touch him but I'm not giving in. He _will_ beg. He slowly untangles his fingers from my tresses and glides his hand down my neck making my body shudder. I feel his smile against my skin and know that he's playing a game, too.

His hand continues south until it lands on my heavy, aching breast. He kneads the tender flesh, bringing the sensitive bud to a hardened peak. It pushes against the lacy fabric of my bra, painfully straining to be free. He French kisses my ear, making me moan loudly while his hand continues to massage my full, rounded mound. I tug on the hem of my form-fitting tank top and lift it off over my head then drop it to the floor. He runs his hands up and down my body, a look of lustful appreciation in his eyes then carefully lowers me to the couch until I'm lying on my back, my legs tangled with his. He lowers his mouth to mine and kisses me with such fervor that it leaves me aching for more.

I grasp the back of the couch with one hand and twist the cushions beneath me with the other. I'm losing the internal battle with myself. Part of me wants to run my hands up and down the chiseled muscles of his back then fist my fingers in his hair while I make love to his mouth with my tongue, glide my fingertips across his stubbly chin while I nibble playfully on his bottom lip, and take him in him hand and guide him into my waiting mouth so I can suck him hard until he explodes. But another part of me really wants to hear him beg me to touch him everywhere at once then follow my gentle caress with tender kisses, put my hands on his straining manhood and release him from his tight confines, glide my tight fist up and down his steel-like shaft before placing him at my moist entrance, and hold on to him tightly while he makes love to me.

He drags his mouth from mine and grazes his lips over my chin, down my neck, and across my collarbone dropping sporadic wet kisses as he goes. He slips my bra strap off my shoulder and traces the outline of each of my ravens one at a time with the tip of his velvety tongue then kisses them lovingly. After he finishes worshipping my largest raven, _his_ raven, he moves his mouth to my lace-covered breast. He sucks hard on the sensitive, rigid bud through the fabric causing it to throb almost painfully. He tugs on the cup, freeing my plump breast then devours it with his hot, wet mouth. I hear myself whimper as I arch my back, which shoves my breast further into his hungry mouth.

"Mmm," I moan. He glides his hand up to free my other breast, which is straining against the suddenly rough-feeling lace. He gently kneads and strokes my aching breasts as he captures my sensitive nipple between his lips. He circles it with the tip of his velvety tongue then sucks on it gently. I move my hands and am about to fist them in his hair when the timer goes off indicating the brownies are done. My arms flop to the side and Tobias gets up off the couch. He helps me to my feet and very carefully fixes my bra, covering my exposed chest.

"There you go," he says with a quick kiss. He grasps my hand and leads me back into the kitchen. He gets the brownies out of the oven, turns it off, and immediately pours the jar of homemade caramel sauce over the pecan and chocolate delicacy then lifts me back up onto the island. The smell of bitter chocolate, pecans, and sweet caramel fills the space and my stomach growls. Tobias laughs as he dishes up a turtle brownie sundae big enough for two. After he puts some whipped cream on the vanilla ice cream, he tops it with a couple maraschino cherries.

"Where's yours?" I tease with a lazy, sexy smile when he sets the bowl down beside me. He puts his hands on my knees and steps between my legs after he pushes my thighs apart.

"I think we'll share," he says, a sparkle in his eyes. He dips up a spoonful of sweet goodness and as he holds it in front of his mouth, he blows on it. I can't keep my eyes off his moist, puckered lips as he tries to cool the hot dessert, wishing they were on me again. He reaches up and runs his thumb over my bottom lip, which I'm nervously gnawing on. "Something wrong, love?" I shake my head. "You want a bite?" I nod. He sways the spoon in front of me so I open my mouth. He places it inside and I wrap my lips around the spoon and take the bite.

"Mmm," I sigh as I chew the mouthful of warm, gooey heaven. He spoons up another bite and after cooling it for a moment I watch as it disappears into his mouth causing me to lick my suddenly parched lips.

"I think these are the best brownies I've ever made," he says. He runs his left hand up my leg and rests it on my thigh while he gives me another bite. We continue this way until the bowl is empty.

"You're right. Those were the best brownies you've ever made," I say as he covers the leftovers. "Thank you." He turns and looks at me.

"Why does it sound like you're thanking me for more than the dessert?" he asks.

"I am," I say. "Thanks for letting me work through my feelings about the bitch on my own."

"You're welcome," he says. "But she is the last thing I want to be thinking about right now let alone talking about." He puts the dirty bowl in the dishwasher after rinsing it out and turns back to me. "You haven't touched me."

"I'm waiting for you to beg," I say.

"Is that right?" he says. I nod as I lean forward and put my lips on his. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me close as I kiss him passionately. He drags his lips from mine and says, "How about I take you to bed and make you beg?"

"But you're the one who is supposed to be begging," I pout.

"Okay, love," he says. "I'm ready to beg now."

"Mommy?" we hear Tyler say from the top of the stairs. I sigh and rest my head against Tobias'. "Mommy?"

"Coming, buddy," I say as he helps me down off the counter. I pick my shirt up off the floor and put it back on as I head upstairs. I hear Tessa before I reach the top landing. "Did your sister wake you up?"

"Mm-hm," he sleepily says, bobbing his head up and down.

"How about I help you get back to sleep," Tobias says from right behind me. I step out of the way, and he picks Tyler up who immediately lays his head on his father's shoulder. Tobias leans down and kisses my temple then carries him into his room. I pad into Tessa's room and find her whimpering in the middle of the crib. I pick her up and find that she's on the warm side. I should have known she was coming down with something. I quickly change her diaper and put her in a dry sleeper then go into the bathroom to find some medicine for her. I give her the dose Zander recommended then head back into her room. I sit us down in her rocking chair and put her up to my shoulder and gently rock her in an attempt to get her back to sleep but she keeps whimpering.

"What's wrong, little one?" I ask.

"Is she okay?" Tobias asks as he comes into the room.

"Our girl doesn't feel well," I say. "I think you'll have to beg another night. How's Tyler? Did he go back to sleep?"

"Yeah. I don't think he actually ever woke up," he says.

"Go to bed," I say. "I'll stay up with her until she gets to sleep. She might need nursed again soon."

"I could stay up with her," he says, kneeling down beside me and running his hand over her head. She turns and looks at him then lays her head down again.

"I appreciate the offer but there's a lot that needs to be done tomorrow and there's no need for both of us to be tired," I say. "Go to bed. I'll join you as soon as I can. I love you, Tobias. Thanks for the brownies."

"Alright, I'll go to bed," he says. He kisses Tessa's head then moves his lips to mine. "I'll beg another night. I love you so much, Tris."

"Goodnight." I caress his cheek then give him another soft, tender kiss.

"Goodnight, love."


	61. Chapter 61

I stand in front of my full length mirror, turning this way and that, admiring the burgundy-colored draped-front dress Christina insisted on sending up for me from the boutique. I called her complaining that I didn't have anything to wear tonight for my date with Tobias. I tried on four dresses and nothing looked or felt good but this one is very stylish in a classic way with its V-neck and gathered empire waist that flows gracefully over my protruding abdomen. It makes me feel feminine and sexy not like a frumpy old woman. Yeah, I think this one's a keeper. I have to remember to thank her. She's amazing at her job.

This time yesterday I wasn't even sure if we would be able to go out tonight. Poor Tessa wasn't feeling well but when she woke up this morning it was as if nothing had been wrong. She was all smiles and giggles. I kept her home with me instead of sending her to daycare with Tyler just in case she took a turn but she has been her old self. She's back on her schedule, which was out of whack the past two days. She spent most of her time asleep beside me in bed yesterday while I watched surveillance video or tried to. I was too worried about my little one to concentrate so I mainly stared down at her and made sure she was okay.

After taking Tyler to daycare yesterday, Tobias spent the day in the control room, diligently working alongside Zeke, James, and Nathan going through hundreds if not thousands of hours of surveillance footage that's been catalogued on Zeke's computer. James and Nathan have been assigned all the footage from inside the compound while Zeke and Tobias have been scanning the footage from around the city. Molly and Drew have been spotted several times on the city cameras but they aren't doing anything suspicious. They're just wandering around with other factionless.

Tobias and I promised each other that we would leave all the Dauntless drama behind us tonight. This is probably the last time we'll be alone for the entire night before Peanut comes. Just thinking about her makes her kick wildly. I run my hand over my belly, and she settles down. We are so in tune with each other.

I lift the dress off over my head and hang it up in my closet then pull my yoga pants back up my body and put my t-shirt back on. I head into Tessa's room to see if she's done with her nap and find her chewing on her cute little cream-colored knit bear in a light pink sweater and mint green overalls that her daddy got her one day last week. He spoils both kids so much.

"Hi, little one," I say. She throws her toy to the side and excitedly kicks her legs when she sees me. "Well, you're feeling better, aren't you?" I pick her up and kiss her forehead, checking to see if she's warm but she's cool. "Are you hungry?" I put a knuckle in her mouth, and she grabs ahold of my hand. "I'll take that as a yes." I sit down in her rocking chair and put her to my breast to nurse her. "I'm glad you're feeling better. Mommy was really worried about you. I don't like it when you don't feel well. I don't like it when Tyler or Daddy are sick either. It makes my heart hurt." I pull her away from my breast causing her to whine and put her up to my shoulder so she can burp then put her to my other breast so she can finish. "You and your brother are going to stay at Grandma and Grandpa's house tonight while Mommy and Daddy go on a date. Grandma is really excited to see you. She loves spending time with you and your brother so much. I don't know who is more eager, Tyler or her. He's just as excited as she is. It's all he's been talking about … well, except for wanting a baby brother … or a puppy. I think he's leaning towards a dog. He's so silly. Which would you rather have, a baby brother or a puppy?" She stares into my eyes, her expression never wavering. "I bet you don't even know what a puppy is, do you little one?" She smiles then continues suckling. "Mommy loves you. You are so sweet."

After she finishes nursing, I change her into a clean diaper then look in her closet for an outfit for her to wear. It's been unseasonably cool lately, and it will be even chillier at my parent's house. I don't want her getting sick again.

"How about this outfit, little one?" I ask. I pull the three piece black and pink polka dot and lady bug outfit out of her closet. "I think this one will work well for going to Grandma and Grandpa's. How about a bath?" She laughs and kicks excitedly. As I walk into the hallway getting ready to go into the bathroom, I hear the front door close. "Looks like Daddy came home for lunch today. Tobias, we're getting ready for a bath," I call out. I expect to hear his footsteps on the stairs but instead I hear nothing. I look at Tessa and she grins at me. "Silly girl." I head downstairs calling out Tobias' name and am surprised when I find the living room and kitchen deserted. "Where did Daddy go?" I check the door and find it unlocked. An uneasiness creeps up on me. I flip the lock on the door and pick up my phone off the charger by the door.

"Hey, love," Tobias says as he answers the phone. "Is Tessa still feeling okay? Do I need to cancel our plans?"

"Tobias, I need you to check the surveillance video outside our apartment from a few minutes ago. I just finished feeding Tessa and was getting ready to give her a bath when I heard the door close. I assumed it was you coming home for a late lunch but when I came downstairs, no one was here and when I checked the door, it was unlocked. I locked the door after you left. I'm positive. Please check."

"Please calm down, love," he says, his Four mask coming through the phone loud and clear. "You probably just heard Will and Christina or Tori and Frankie going into their apartment." I hear his fingers swiftly moving over the keyboard when a sudden, chilling silence comes through the line. He says, "I'm coming home," then hangs up on me. I pull Tessa close to my tightening chest and kiss her head. She usually keeps me calm but I'm too worked up right now. A key in the door makes me jump, and I hold my breath until I see that it's Tobias.

"You hung up on me," I pout.

"I'm sorry about that," he says. "I needed to make sure you and Tessa were okay."

"What did you find, Tobias?"

"Come on, let's sit down, and I'll show you," he says. He puts his hand on the small of my back and leads me to the couch. He helps me sit down then takes Tessa out of my arms and puts her in her swing. He returns to the couch and sits down beside me then puts a removable drive in his laptop. "Try not to get worked up, love." I don't know how he expects me not to overreact when I can feel the tension radiating off his body. He puts the computer in my lap and double clicks on a file to open it causing a video of our hallway to come to life. For a time nothing happens then a darkly shrouded figure walks up to our front door. My hand flies up and covers my mouth as I watch the figure take a key out of their pocket and let themself into my apartment. Unfortunately the person is dressed head to toe in black and has a long-sleeved hooded sweatshirt on with the hood pulled up around their head.

"Who _is_ that?" I whisper, nearly choking on my fear. I force myself to take a deep breath in an attempt to quiet my trembling.

"I don't know," he quietly says. "You know when you suggested someone was coming into our home I thought you were being a tad bit paranoid. I'll never doubt you again." I lift my unsteady hand to rewind the footage and watch it again. A sense of déjà vu washes over me.

"Is this the person we saw Molly meeting with in the Pit the morning Sam was murdered?" I ask.

"Could be," he says inching even closer to me so he can look at the screen. "Appears to be the same height and build. I still can't tell if it is a man or a woman though because of the way it's dressed. Poor fitting pants, an oversized sweatshirt, black combat boots, no visible hair color, piercings, or tattoos. I'll have Zeke do the same kind of analysis he did when he figured out how tall Cameron was. That should at least be a tool to eliminate suspects." He pulls me close and kisses the side of my head. "I called maintenance and our locks will be changed within the hour."

"I'm not sure that's a good idea," I say. He can't hide his confusion. Tessa starts whining so I get off the couch and get her out of the swing. She quiets down immediately. She must not like being ignored. "We need to find out who has been coming into our home. Seeing that video made me feel … violated. I don't like feeling this way."

"I'm sorry," he says. "I understand."

"Remember the many times we've been to the store for baby necessities?"

"Yes," he says. He runs his hand over Tessa's head.

"Do you remember seeing the nanny cams? We kind of laughed them off."

"I do remember. They come in all sorts of items – clocks, teddy bears, tissue holders, other household items."

"I think we need to get one and set it up to see who's breaking in," I say.

"Tessa, your mommy is an absolute genius," he says, kissing her squarely on the mouth. She giggles and grins widely. "First of all, do you still want to go out tonight?"

"Yes," I say. "I'm not going to let whoever this is ruin our plans."

"Are you sure?" he asks.

"Definitely." A smile brightens his face before he places his lips on mine. He kisses me tenderly until we're both breathless. He runs the back of his fingers down my cheek after he backs away.

"Will you be alright here without me?" he asks. "I'm going to go get one of those nanny cams so I can set it up before we go but if you'd rather me stay, I will."

"I'm fine," I say. "I obviously scared whoever it was off. I really don't think they'll come back right away. I'll give Tessa her bath and start getting ready for tonight."

"I love you," he says. "I better go."

"Remember Tyler needs a bath before we go tonight."

"I'll swing by the store and pick up what I need before I go get him," he says. We get up off the couch, and I walk him to the door."

"Be careful."

"Don't worry about me," he says. I narrow my eyes at him. "Fine. I'll be careful."

"I love you, Tobias."

"I love you." He kisses me passionately but swiftly then says, "Love you, too, Pebbles. You be good for Mommy." She kicks her legs excitedly as he kisses her head then starts jabbering loudly. "I'll cancel the locksmith so you won't be disturbed." He cups my cheek and I lean into his palm. I can tell by the look in his eyes that he's looking forward to tonight just as much as I am. "I'll be right back." He kisses my forehead then kisses Tessa's head. We stand in the hallway saying goodbye until he's out of sight.

"Bath time," I say as I lock the door. "Should we go upstairs or would you be okay with a bath in the sink?" She smiles and coos, letting me know anywhere is fine as long as she gets to have a bath soon. I put her in the swing, set the timer then gather everything I need and position the items around the sink. "Come on, little one." I lift her out of the swing and take her onesie and diaper off. When I sit her in the tub and start her bath, she squeals excitedly. "I've never heard that sound before out of your sweet little mouth." I lean over and give her a kiss and she fists her little hand in my hair and pulls … hard. "Owe! Boy, you have a grip on you, don't you?" I take her hand and pry my strands out of it. She looks up at me with an innocent little smile. "You've got Mommy wrapped around your finger." I continue with her bath, washing her hair and pudgy little body. After she's clean, I put a fresh diaper on her and wrap her up in her special towel and sit down on the couch with her. I hold her close, and she lies contentedly against my chest. "Do you think your little sister will have your sunny disposition? If she's half as easy going as you and Tyler are, she'll be a wonderful baby." I lie down, cuddling her close in an attempt to take a nap but I can't force my eyes to shut. Tessa on the other hand is out like a light. My mind wanders to the attempted break-in. Who is this person? What do they want? How did they get a key? I recognize my anxiety level rising with each question so I concentrate on Tessa instead of obsessing. I watch the rise and fall of her chest and soon realize I'm smiling. When Tobias comes through the door, it startles me.

"Did I wake you?" he asks.

"No," I say. "I couldn't sleep." I hear Tyler before I see him.

"Hi, Mommy," he says. When he sees Tessa asleep, he stops in his tracks and tiptoes to me.

"Hi, buddy," I say. "Thank you for being quiet for sissy. Tobias, can you help me?" He comes over to me and takes Tessa then offers me a hand. With a little tug, I'm on my feet again. "Thank you." I take Tessa back and say, "Come on, Tyler. You need a bath before you go to Grandma and Grandpa's. I'm going to put Tessa in her crib, give Tyler a bath, then I'm going to get ready for our date." I take Tyler's hand and lead him towards the stairs. "Where are you taking me again?"

"It's a surprise and you know it," Tobias says with a glimmer in his eyes.

"Thought I'd give it a shot," I chuckle.

"Can I have a puppy?" Tyler asks.

"Tyler, you know Mommy and I still need to talk about that."

"Thought I'd give it shot," he says, shrugging his shoulders.

"Tyler, be good," I say doing my best to hide my amusement. "Bath … now." He lowers his head and trudges up the stairs toward the bathroom. My eyes meet Tobias' and he rolls them toward the ceiling.

"He's your son," he says with a chuckle.

"And I'm proud of it."

I follow after Tyler, stopping to put Tessa in her crib. I run his bathwater while he gets out of his clothes. I sit on the toilet, watching him play after I wash his hair and he uses my poof with his body wash all over while running my hands over my belly trying to sooth where Peanut is kicking away. After a particularly hard kick to my kidney, I wince.

"Mommy otay?" Tyler asks, noticing.

"I sure am. The baby's just kicking," I say.

"Baby, stop kickin' Mommy," he says as he furrows his little brows. He's very protective of me.

"She doesn't mean it," I say. "You know that."

"Otay," he says.

"Are you ready to get out?"

"No," he whines. I look at the clock on the wall.

"Five more minutes then you have to get out with no whining, okay?" I sternly say.

"Otay, Mommy." He creates waves then floats his little wooden boats on them until they crash together then throws his head back and laughs hysterically. My heart warms seeing him so happy. He's come a long way in the past nine months. I get up and let the water out of the tub then wrap him in a fluffy towel. After drying him off, I help him step out of the tub and have him dry his feet.

"I laid out an outfit on your bed to wear," I say. "Get dressed then play quietly in your room until Daddy or I come to get you." He drops his towel and dashes out the door, a pale streak. I shake my head as I pick up his clothes and put them in the hamper then hang the wet towel on the bar. I close the door, strip out of my clothes and step into the stall. Even though I have the time to take a leisurely shower, I'm too excited to get my evening with Tobias started to linger so I'm in and out within five minutes. I wrap my hair in a towel then my body in another and step out into the cool room.

I stare at myself in the mirror wondering what the night has instore for us. He won't tell me a thing. The only thing I absolutely know is our plans are for outside the compound unless he intends to bring us back after we drop the kids off at my parents. I hope the dress and black ankle boots with two inch heels aren't a mistake. He really didn't give me an indication of what to wear. Not that it really matters. I'm sure we'll end up naked anyway. Muscles deep in my belly contract at the thought.

I take my time expertly putting my makeup on just like Christina taught me then style my hair with a flirty wave the way it was fixed at her wedding. I put the damp towel next to Tyler's and slather a thick layer of coconut oil lotion all over my body, concentrating on my growing belly. I slide my robe on after the lotion is dry then go into my bedroom and close the door. I slip into the sexy matching burgundy-and-cream-colored lace and satin nursing bra and under belly boy shorts that Christina sent with the dress. I have to say I like it. It beats my every day lingerie to pieces. I walk to the closet and slip the dress on being careful of my already styled hair then take my favorite pair of boots, which I polished this morning, and sit on the bed to put them on. I walk over to the mirror and make sure that everything looks good but something seems missing. I rifle through my jewelry boxes looking for the perfect necklace when I hear something behind me.

"Wow! You look absolutely stunning … so beautiful," Tobias says as he leisurely runs his eyes over me. I can't help myself and I do the same. He looks so handsome in his black sports coat, dark gray button down shirt, which has a couple buttons open, and tight faded black jeans. I see the infinity cuff I got him for our anniversary of meeting each other peeking out from under the sleeve and I smile.

"You don't look too bad yourself," I say. "I was just trying to figure out what jewelry to wear." I hold up my infinity symbol necklace that he got me for the wedding and the drop pendant he got me when I officially became a member of Dauntless.

"I'm glad I caught you then," he say, producing a small box from behind his back.

"Tobias," I censure.

"You have no idea what today is, do you?" he says. I furrow my brows at him in confusion. September 3rd. Not his birthday or mine. More than a month from my due date. No special occasion I can think of. The day before initiation finals. "You wound me." Something clicks in my brain, and I can't believe that I never gave it a thought.

"You let me into your life. You kissed me," I whisper, trying not to choke on the emotion welling up inside me. How could I have forgotten? The worry on his face turns to triumph.

"No tears," he says, kissing away the single drop that escaped my eyelid. "Open your present, Mrs. Eaton." I flip the lid with a trembling hand and find a new charm for my bracelet. "I've been looking for a while for the right charm, something that perfectly represented that moment." He runs his finger over the artistic interpretation of a man and woman kissing. "Gunner made it when I told him about my dilemma." He gets my bracelet and slides it on, attaching the charm in place then puts it on my left wrist.

"It's perfect," I say. "You are perfect. I love you so much." I throw my arms around his neck and pull his mouth to mine, practically assaulting him with my aggressive tongue but he doesn't seem bothered by my attack. As a matter of fact, he welcomes it. I can feel his arousal pressing into me, and I sway my hips in a suggestive manner.

"Hey, hey," he roughly says as he pulls away from me, his voice and eyes full of desire. "We need to quit this before we lose our heads. We've got to take the kids to your parents. Besides I don't want Tyler walking in on us again." The mention of our son clears my head from the lust-induced fog.

"You're right," I pant. "I'm sure we'll have plenty of time for that later."

"I won't go as far as to say that I planned for us to have sex tonight," I'm not sure I believe him, "but a man can hope." He takes my wedding necklace out of its box and puts it around my neck. It lays just above my cleavage and is the missing piece that completes this outfit. He takes my hand and leads me into Tessa's room. She's lying in the middle of the crib in the pink and black outfit I picked out for her earlier. "I hope you meant to put her in this," he says as he lifts her out of the crib. If I have this timed right, she should be hungry. I hope I'm not jinxing things by feeding her in this dress but the crossover top is perfect for nursing.

"Are you hungry, little one?" It's obvious that she is with the way she's sucking on his coat.

"Do you want me to give her a bottle?"

"No. If I don't feed her, I would just have to pump anyway." I sit down and he hands her to me once I'm ready. He kneels down in front of us, his eyes on our nursing daughter. I watch him as he watches her, a strong look of wonder and love in his eyes.

"You're a wonderful mother, Tris," he reverently says. "I never tire watching you feed our daughter." I'd make a smart comment but I can tell by the look on his face that he's absolutely serious. I reach out and stroke his face, and he brings his eyes to mine. We gaze at each other for a moment then he leans up and places his lips on mine. The kiss is not passionate but respectful, worshipping. It's the sexiest kiss he's ever given me. When he pulls away, his look is thoughtful. "I'm going to check on Tyler." He gets to his feet then kisses the top of my head before leaving the room.

"What were you thinking about?" I ask the empty doorway. I look down and watch my daughter as she gets her belly full. She doesn't even fuss when I burp her. When she finishes, I change her into a clean, dry diaper and put the little jacket that goes with her outfit on. "We're ready to go," I say when I reach the landing. The first thing I see is the cream colored tissue holder with a black floral pattern on it sitting on the end table closest to the door. If – or should I say _when –_ our intruder breaks in again, it will capture his or her face.

"Everything's going to be alright," Tobias says, noticing my stare.

"I'm surprised it's as stylish as it is," I say. "I was expecting some clunky-looking box that would stand out like a sore thumb."

"Functional surveillance," he says, lightly taping on the wooden box. "The camera is tiny but guaranteed to get us the information we're looking for. Here, let me take Tessa. You'll need your jacket." He points to the black fitted leather jacket that's thrown over the back of the couch. "You can always take it off if you get warm." The double entendre doesn't go unnoticed, and I roll my eyes at him.

I double check the diaper bag to make sure I didn't forget anything then say, "Let's go."

We walk to the garage and load into the already packed car. Everyone is excited for tonight: Tessa for getting to ride in the car, Tyler for getting to see his grandparents, and Tobias and me for getting away. The ride is smooth and doesn't seem to take that long listening to the kids in the backseat. I imagine it won't always be like this. It'll get to the point where Tessa will bother Tyler and he'll want nothing to do with her. The thought makes me sad. I brush off the melancholy not wanting it to ruin my good mood.

We arrive at my parent's house a little early and start unloading the car. When we get to the door, I hesitate to knock because I hear raised voices inside. I look up at Tobias with furrowed brows. This is very unusual coming from this house. Both my parents are usually very quiet and respectful of one another. When I knock on the door, the voices silence, and after a moment, Mom opens the door wearing a fake smile.

"Is this a bad time?" I ask. Embarrassment flashes across her face, and I feel bad for saying anything.

"Of course not," she says. "We weren't quite expecting you. Come in."

"Sorry we're early," I say. "Someone was really excited to see you." Tyler steps forward with a big grin on his face.

"That be me," he says. "Hi, Gwamma. I miss you." Her face softens as she kneels before him and takes him in her arms. She hugs him to her tightly. It's obvious she's trying to collect herself.

"I've missed you, too, sweet boy," she says as she lets him go. She stands straight and her eyes land on Tessa. "This can't be my granddaughter, can it?"

"She's getting so big," I say. "Do you want to see Grandma, little one?" Tessa smiles her wide toothless grin when Mom takes her. Dad walks into the dimly lit, sterile-looking kitchen with a haggard look about him. "Hi, Dad."

"Hello, Beatrice," he says. "You are looking well."

"You look … tired," I say.

"It's all the initiation craziness," he says, a warm smile on his face. "I'm certain it's the polar opposite of Dauntless' initiation process but it's still stressful."

"I'm sure it is. You know, we don't have to leave the kids with you if you're not feeling up for it."

"I've been looking forward to this since Four called so there is no way I'm letting you leave here with them," Mom says.

"Okay," I say. "Tessa just ate. Tyler hasn't. She can sit up but has the tendency to fall over, which scares her and makes her cry. If you give her a bottle before bed, she should be able to sleep all night. Once in a while she wakes up because of a dirty diaper but that doesn't happen too often anymore. I feel like I'm forgetting something."

"Beatrice, I raised two children," Mom says, her smile finally reaching her eyes. "I think I remember how to take care of them. You and Four go and have a good time."

"Okay," I say. "Tyler, buddy, you be good for Grandma and Grandpa. Okay?"

"I be good," he says. He launches himself at my legs in an attempt to hug me and nearly knocks me over.

"Be careful with Mommy," Tobias says putting his hands on my back to keep me upright.

"I sowwy," he pouts.

"It's alright, buddy," I say. I stoop over and wrap my arms around him and pepper his cheeks with kisses. "I love you very much. I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you 'morrow," he says, hugging me fiercely. While Tobias tells Tyler goodbye I take Tessa back from my mom. "I love you, little one. You be good for your grandma and grandpa." I give her kisses and hugs and she giggles wildly at me. "You think Mommy's kisses are silly, don't you? You don't laugh when Daddy kisses you."

"She better not," he teases. "Come here, little one." He takes her and kisses her and sure enough she just smiles. "That's my girl. I love both of you, Tyler and Tessa. Mommy and I will see you tomorrow. Thanks for agreeing to watch them for us, Natalie, Andrew. We'll call before bedtime and check on them."

"Okay, Four," Mom says. He places Tessa back in her arms then puts his hand on the small of my back and leads me to the door.

"Thanks again, Mom, Dad," I say. "If you need anything, just call, anytime." Tobias opens the door and leads me out to the car. I look over my shoulder and find my parents and the kids standing there waving. We wave back then they close the door. "I'm worried."

"We can take the kids with us," he says.

"No. I'm worried that there is something really wrong with Mom and Dad. Neither one looks happy anymore." He puts his finger on my chin and tilts my head back until I'm looking at him.

"I hope this doesn't sound harsh because I don't mean it to but their marriage is their business," he says. "There is nothing you can do and worrying about them isn't good for you or Peanut."

"I know you're right. I'll try not to worry," I say. "But they've always been so much in love."

"And they still are," he says. "I'm sure it's just a rough patch. It happens. They'll be fine. Can we get back to us?"

"Yes," I say. "Where are you taking me?" He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a long piece of black silk. My stomach muscles tighten as he runs his fingers over the material.

"I told you, it's a surprise."


	62. Chapter 62

**A/N: Bolded lyrics "Yours" by Russell Dickerson. Second song mentioned "Die a Happy Man" by Thomas Rhett.**

* * *

"Where are you taking me, Tobias Eaton?" I ask for the tenth time this evening. I know he's taking me someplace outside the main city but I have no idea where, and he's being frustratingly silent on the subject as I sit blindfolded and pouting in the front seat of our car. I try to determine the direction we're going by feeling the sun on my face but he's made so many twists and turns that I've lost track. I swear he has us driving in circles on purpose just to annoy me. I let out a loud, irritated sigh, and I know his amused eyes are on me.

"You're just going to have to wait and see, love. It's a surprise," he says. It's obvious that there's a mischievous smile on his face, and even though I can't see it, I can _hear_ it.

"Baby, why won't you just tell me?" I pout after we've both been silent for what seems like hours.

"It's. A. Surprise," he slowly says like maybe he's unsure I'll understand if he speaks more quickly. "You'll like this. No, you'll love it … I promise."

"How much longer?" This time _he_ sighs.

"Now I know where your son gets it."

" _Our_ son, Mr. Eaton." He chuckles as the car slows to a stop. "Are we here?"

"Yes, love, we're here," he says. I move my hands up to take the blindfold off but he stops me. "That stays on. We might need it later." I hear the sharp intake of breath before I realize I take it.

"I thought you didn't plan any sex," I say, suddenly sounding breathy and needy. I feel his breath on my skin, and I moan softly as he brushes my hair to the side and kisses my neck.

"I didn't," he whispers, his soft, moist lips grazing my ear. "But a blindfold might be fun." Then just as suddenly as he is near, he's gone. He gets out of the car and soon is opening my door for me. He takes my hand and helps me up. I jump when I feel his hand against the small of my back and hear his nearly inaudible chuckle. "I want you to be careful and watch your step."

"I can't see anything," I mumble.

"You know what I mean, love," he says. I can tell he's shaking his head at me. Leaving his left hand on my back, he pulls me against his side and takes my right hand in his. It reminds me of the extremely old fashioned dances that couples did when they were courting and not supposed to touch one another that I've seen in some period movies I've made Tobias watch with me. "I'll lead you where we're going." We walk forward, the light pressure of his hand on my back telling me which way to go. He diligently tells me when to step over things and when to be extra careful. "Okay, there are some stairs here in front of you. We'll go up them one at a time." After going up the five or six stairs, I can tell that we enter a building of some sort but I'm at a loss as to where we are until he sees fit to take this damn blindfold off. He positions me just so then says, "Close your eyes, love, and don't open them until I say so."

"You're bossy."

"And you are a little whiny," he says. "Keep them closed. Okay?"

"Okay," I pout. He unties the blindfold and draws the silky material across my skin, sending a shiver down my spine, kisses my neck, then walks away from me. I think that's the sash of my robe.

"You can open your eyes, love." I take a deep, calming breath and slowly lift my eyelids to reveal a magnificent sight. Standing before me is Tobias with a single pink rose in his hand. Behind him is a makeshift bed of sorts covered in soft white linens piled high with pink, pale purple, and soft white pillows of varying shapes and sizes. Scattered across the bed and floor of the – where are we? I finally look around and see that we are in a train car, which is stopped somewhere near the fence – train car are hundreds of rose petals and dried flowers of the same color scheme. Hanging from the ceiling are hundreds of twinkle lights. I can't wait to see what they look like in the dark. I bet it'll look like a clear, starry night. On the bench is a picnic basket filled with what smells like takeout from the Italian restaurant in town.

"You did all this for me?"

"Yes," he says, offering me the rose. I take it and put it under my nose, inhaling the delicate floral scent.

"How?"

"Well, I had a little help from my friends," he says.

"Thank you," I say as the train lurches forward. I stumble but Tobias grabs ahold of me, steadying me.

"Are you alright?" he asks, concern on his face.

"I'm fine. Part of me thought you were actually taking me back to the compound to the chasm. This is so much better. Not that the chasm isn't special."

"I wanted our date to be something we'd both always remember, and I thought we could take advantage of the situation by marking off one of the places on both our lists. I arranged for the train to ride throughout the city all night. We'll be off the beaten path so we won't get any unwanted visitors."

"That would be embarrassing."

"It would," he says with a slow, sexy smile. "Would you like something to eat?" I want to tell him that in this moment that I only want him but my stomach growls making my decision for me. He takes my hand and leads me to the bed. He arranges the pillows then helps me sit down. "It's a deluxe air mattress."

"I was wondering," I say. "What's for supper? I'm starving."

"A little bit of this and that then we have cannoli for dessert." He retrieves the picnic basket and places it on the bed beside us. He pops the top on the bottle of chilled cider and pours us each a glass. "To us." He raises his glass, and I clink mine together with his then take a sip of the refreshing liquid. "Bruschetta?" He hold the light appetizer up in front of my mouth, and I take a bite. I close my eyes and moan as I savor the bite. I pick up a slice of perfectly toasted bread and put some tomato mixture on it and reciprocate for Tobias. He takes a bite then grins widely.

"What?" I ask.

"Is it going to be like this all night?" he teases. "Tit for tat?"

"Maybe." We sit facing each other on the surprisingly comfortable makeshift bed taking turns feeding each other bites of the wonderful Italian meal in between sweet kisses.

"Would you dance with me?"

"I would but we don't have any music." He gets up and pulls his phone out of his pocket and hits a few buttons then music blasts from the small speakers. The unfamiliar notes sound a bit tinny echoing around the antique train car. He lays it on the bench then holds his hands out and helps me to my feet. He wraps one arm around my waist and grasps my hand with his other and holds it over his heart. I rest my free hand on his muscled biceps and look up into his shining eyes. He leads us in a gentle sway to the rhythmic melody. _**I came to life when I first kissed you. The best me has his arms around you. You make me better than I was before. Thank God I'm yours. The worst me is just a long gone memory. You put a new heartbeat inside of me. You make me better than I was before. Thank God I'm yours.**_

"I may not have written that song but it's our story," he says as a new song plays out of his phone. "My life started one year ago when you kissed me. I thought I was worthless, and you've made me see that I actually have purpose. You've often told me you don't know why I love you but the truth is I'm the one who is unworthy. I was a shell of a man before you and, without you, I'm sure my heart would cease to beat. I love you, and I'm proud that I'm yours." He reaches down and tries to wipe the tears away that are flowing down my face as the new singer croons about dying a happy man if all he has is the one he loves. "I didn't mean to make you cry."

"You always say the most romantic things," I say. I graze the fingertips of my free hand across his strong jaw then down his muscled chest. "Who knew that under this tough exterior was such a softie. A year ago this time I didn't. I thought you were scary but I liked you anyway. Who am I kidding, I loved you, Tobias, from the first time I saw you. My soul recognized its mate the moment our eyes locked at the net." I wrap my hand around his neck and pull his mouth to mine. The kiss is slow, soft. He lets out a sigh when he pulls away leaving me breathless.

"I knew I loved you before I let you into my fear landscape, before I let you know the real me. I wouldn't have done that for anyone else but I was too stupid to realize just how deep my feelings ran. I was afraid you didn't … couldn't … _wouldn't_ ever feel the same." His depressed air suddenly turns sunny. "But then you kissed me back. I've never been more terrified in my life. You could have pushed me in the water and told everyone I attacked you." I can't help myself and a giggle escapes my lips. "Something funny, love?"

"It never fails to amaze me just how alike we are," I say. "Well, our feelings anyway. I was terrified when you kissed me, too, but definitely for different reasons. I was so nervous and unsure of myself that when you ended the kiss I convinced myself that I was horrible at it and you would run away," I lower my eyes to his inviting mouth and run my fingers over his soft lips, "but then you kissed me again." His mouth lands on mine as we stop dancing, and we both hastily remove each other's jackets. I didn't know we had migrated to the other side of the car until he pushes me up against the wall. His mouth moves impatiently against mine as his hands snake their way around to my back, pulling me up against his hard body the best he can. I can feel the heat of his fingers radiating through the delicate material of my dress, seeping into my skin. I cup his face between my hands and pull him closer to me still as he deftly thrusts his tongue between my parted lips seeking mine. We let them tangle wildly until neither of us can breathe. My breasts rise as I pull in lungfuls of air, and he glides a hand up my body to cup the swollen flesh. The buds harden under his touch as he teases my aching chest. I watch his face as he devours my body with his stare. Something catches his attention over my shoulder and his eyes light up.

"I want to show you something," he says, panting in my ear.

"I want you inside me, baby," I tell him.

"Soon," he says, kissing my neck right below my left ear sending a shudder of arousal through my body. "I promise, love, we have all night for that." He surprises me by letting go of me when all I want to do is get closer. He hits the button on the wall causing the sliding doors to disappear into the wall. Wind picks up the rose petals and dried flowers, sending them twirling around us like a fragrant tornado. Tobias takes me by the hand and leads me to the bed. He helps me to lounge with my back resting on some of the pillows then sits down beside me. He pulls a blanket out of nowhere and wraps it around us. "Look out there." He points toward the opening in the wall. In the distance, the setting sun is causing a riot of blues, reds, oranges, pinks, and yellows to splash across the night sky, and because of the elevated tracks, we have a spectacular unobstructed view.

"So beautiful," I say, awed by the sight.

"Not as beautiful as you," he says, kissing my temple. "But I wanted to make sure you saw this."

"You timed this?" I ask.

"I hoped for Mother Nature's cooperation," he chuckles. "I almost got carried away and made us miss it." I snuggle closer to him and caress his thigh, accidentally grazing his erection. He gasps at the intimate contact and I blush.

"Sorry," I say. "I didn't do that on purpose."

"I know," he roughly says.

"If you're uncomfortable I could help you with that."

"Always so eager, Mrs. Eaton," he says. "Where'd the girl who would shy away from my touch go?"

"You taught her to love sex," I say. "You are very, very good at it." I'm trying to not be embarrassed about my comment but I can feel heat climbing into my cheeks.

"God, I love that blush," he huskily says. "It's the only thing you're going to be wearing in a second if you don't stop touching me." My hand stills then I pull it away. I didn't even realize I was stroking him through his jeans. He puts his large hand on my neck and gently caresses my lips with his thumb while his other hand rakes through his hair. I forget about the dazzling sunset as I watch my husband's eyes turn a spectacular onyx-color. He wants me. Beatrice … Tris … Six … wife … mother … lover … soul mate … whatever he wants to label me … _ME_. He wants _me_.

I struggle out of his arms and to my feet. I hit the button on the wall that closes the door then turn the lever restricting access from the outside. I don't need anyone surprising us tonight. I walk over to the bench and pick up his phone and scroll through his playlists. If I didn't want him so badly in this moment, I could get lost in the abundance of music he has on his tiny phone. I curiously hit the list marked "Tris" and the song we danced to the night he proposed, "Fade into You", comes on. I imagine they're all love songs so it's perfect. I put the phone back where it was sitting then turn around and look at Tobias.

I kick off my boots one at a time, leaving me in my bare feet on the rough wooden floor. I momentarily note that someone swept the floor recently then push the insignificant thought out of my mind. I painstakingly slowly lift my dress up my body a fraction of an inch at a time with just my fingertips while I gently sway to the slow, romantic music. Tobias sits up straighter, his eyes on my body as I expose my bare skin and sexy lingerie to him. I finally pull my dress off over my head and let it float to my feet. I feel my heartbeat start to hammer in my chest as I continue swaying to the music, my eyes glued to his. I've never done anything like this before, never contemplated anything like this before but something makes me continue. I unhurriedly run my hands over my still growing tummy then up and cover my breasts. I massage them like I've only done once before but his appreciation for my actions keep me going. When my rigid, throbbing nipples are pushing so hard against the delicate satin cups of my bra that I think they're going to chafe, I reach behind me and unhook each eye swiftly then let the lace and satin lingerie fall to my feet with my dress.

When my small hands cover my exposed breasts, Tobias lets out a guttural moan unlike anything I've heard before. I hang my head back as I knead the mounds while I sway my hips from side to side. I slowly move my hands up into my hair wondering if what I'm doing is sexy. I open my eyes again and instead of focusing them on his, I look at the bulge in his jeans. I'm definitely doing something right. I slide my hands down my sides to the waistband of my skimpy panties, and he says a word that rarely passes his lips. I pull one side down and then the next until I'm standing completely naked before him.

I close the distance between myself and the bed and as gracefully as I can with my heavy, protruding midsection hampering me a bit, lower myself to my knees on the end. I see a look of concern on his face for a fraction of a second but the moment he realizes that I'm alright, he relaxes. I crawl up the mattress, licking my lips as I go until I'm straddling his thighs. My hands immediately find their target but Tobias has other ideas. He hastily pulls my mouth to his, and I nearly lose myself in the long, fiery kiss. It makes my entire body simultaneously enflame and weaken. It's a heady feeling. I realize that if I don't take back control now, I never will. I drag my lips from his, sucking in an uneven breath and turn my attention to the hardness beneath my fingertips.

"Did you like what you saw, baby?" I ask, my voice raspy and desire laced. He doesn't have to answer. I know that he did. I can feel how much he liked the little floor show. "Are you ready to beg, Tobias? I believe you've made me wait long enough." A smile crosses his lips then he moans loudly as I rub the bulge in his jeans with my palm. "Do you like this?" He mutters incoherently while I kiss the right side of his neck and tease his ear with my teeth and tongue. He pulls in a ragged, uneven breath of his own as I move my hands to his shirt and deftly unbutton each of the buttons. I open his shirt and run my fingertips over my name. If I ever doubt him all I have to do is look at this tattoo. He told me that he wanted me in his heart forever, and I believe him. I lean down and kiss his collarbone then trace his tattoo with my tongue. I glide my hands into his shirt, grazing them across his taut abs, and they tense further beneath my fingertips. "Such a wonderful body," I mutter to myself. I slide my hands up his chest and slip his shirt off his shoulders. He shrugs his arms out of it, and I toss it over my shoulder. I press my body close to his and wrap my arms around his neck. His lips meet mine in a lingering kiss. He slips his tongue between my parted lips and searches every inch of my mouth. He wraps his arms around me and splays his hands on my back.

"I want you," he breaths against my ear.

"Not yet, baby," I say. "You haven't begged."

"I'll give you anything you want if you just let me inside you right now." I hear the need in his voice and feel his straining erection beneath me. He's not kidding. I look into his eyes and shake my head.

"If I did that it would be over before it began and neither of us want that," I say. "Do we, baby?"

"You're killing me, Tris," he roughly says, burying his face in my neck and tightening his embrace like a vice. "Please, love. I'll do anything." I wiggle out of his arms and promptly move off his lap so I can unsnap his jeans. It's nearly impossible to lower the zipper over his bulging erection but I finally manage. As I grasp his waistband, he raises his hips with a groan and angles his body toward mine. I drag his jeans and boxer briefs down his body in one swift motion, and he moans when the restraining fabric finally frees him. I lean over and rest my hands on his hips and put my mouth on his rigid little nipple. I suck it into my mouth then flick my tongue out and tease it. I drag my lips to his other sensitive bud and nibble on it. He gasps and fists the sheets in his hands. I look up into his eyes and see him begging inaudibly for some relief. I forgo any more teasing and lean over and take him in my mouth.

"Mmm," I moan around his hard length as I take him deep again and again.

"Oh, God," he mutters. "So good." I know he isn't going to last long so I synchronize the movements of my hands, mouth, and tongue to give him the best experience I can at the moment. He fists his hands in my hair and repeatedly bucks his hips up until he's hitting the back of my throat. He cries out and shakes violently, spilling himself into my mouth and I quickly swallow although most of it goes straight down my throat then release him from my mouth. He drags me up his body and moves me to straddle his lap. He pulls my lips to his and possessively penetrates my mouth with his greedy tongue. I think he would make love to me in this position right now since he's already rock hard again if it weren't for my big belly between us.

"You're so good at that," he says, not taking his lips off mine. He moves his hands up and down my back, shoulders, and arms, unable to keep them still. "I love you."

"I love you, too." He takes me by surprise when he flips us so that I'm lying beneath him. He gives me a swift kiss then moves his body off mine. He lies beside me, kissing my neck while his hands travel over my bare breasts. He rolls first one sensitive nipple between his thumb and forefinger then turns his attention to the other one. He gets a little overzealous causing me to yelp. "Not so rough, baby. They already hurt." He moves his mouth from my neck and gives me an apologetic look.

"I'm so sorry, love," he says. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"They're really sensitive today and haven't been that way before."

"I'll be careful with them," he says. "If it gets to be too much just let me know."

"I will," I say as I run my hand through his hair. He kisses me tenderly on my lips then places butterfly kisses across my chest and breasts until he draws a nipple into his mouth. He bathes it with his tongue while massaging the full mound. An involuntary moan escapes my lips, and I lie back and close my eyes. I concentrate on the feeling of his hot, wet mouth soothing my throbbing bud. "It feels good." He switches breasts and takes the bud between his lips. He sucks gently then circles it with the tip of his tongue. I toss my head back and arch my back, pushing my chest into his palms and mouth as spasms of pure pleasure rapidly move through me. It's almost as if there is a direct line between my sensitive nipples and my aching center. I grasp his head to me until the aftershocks cease then I drag in a breath when I can breathe again.

"You are so beautiful," he says. I caress his cheek, and he takes my hand and places a kiss on my palm. He lets it go then starts kissing his way down my body. My sharp intake of breath lets him know that I know what's coming next. He drags his tongue over my belly then he settles between my parted thighs. I go up on my elbows in an attempt to watch him. I like the closeness it gives but it's hard to see over the baby. His eyes lock with mine as he caresses my thighs with his hands and kisses my bent knee. Suddenly he touches my nubbin with the pad of his rough thumb and circles it lightly. My mouth falls open, and I start panting heavily. My breath starts coming in short, choppy spurts. He moves his hand and inserts a finger into my moist, throbbing center. I drop back on the bed as he dips his head down and captures the aching bundle of nerves between his lips. He sucks on it hard and a dizzying explosion comes out of nowhere. I try to close my legs to control the pleasure but he keeps my right leg in place with his body and traps my left leg in his hand. I moan and writhe as he trusts a second finger in and out of me while he laps at my nubbin. I twist my hands in the sheets so hard that I think I might tear them.

"Oh, God … oh, God … oh, God," I chant under my breath over and over, air rushing in and out of my burning lungs. He's trying to make me come again. I'm not sure I can take much more of this. "Baby. _God_! _Shit_." I'm about to say stop when my third orgasm rips through me leaving me spent. He releases my legs and kisses his way back up my body while I fight for breath. Suddenly I start shivering from a breeze wafting over my sweat-drenched body.

"Are you okay?"

"Blanket," I say. He reaches over and pulls the blanket around me then lies down beside me. I snuggle into him and let my body absorb some of his heat.

"Is this better?" he asks.

"Much better," I say. I look up at the hundreds of twinkling lights above us and get choked up. "Thank you."

"Love, why are you crying?" he asks as he kisses my face.

"You did all this," I say waving all around the car. "You got me a gift." I hold up my wrist and hear the tiny sentimental charms clang together delicately. "I didn't even know what today was."

"You remembered."

"You had to remind me," I say.

"How about I forget your birthday," he says. "Will that make you feel better?" I roll over and straddle his hips.

"You know what would make me feel better?" I say rubbing myself against him. "You … inside me … _now_."

"It's about time, love," he says his eyes darkening again. "I've been trying to get inside you all night."

"I'm all yours," I say. I go up on my knees and reach between us. I grasp his length in my fist, pump it up and down a few times, and place him at my entrance then ease myself down onto every hard inch. I pause when he's fully seated in me and say a silent prayer of thanksgiving. When I'm ready to move, I grasp his hands and lace our fingers together. I push myself up then back down slowly at first then as the passion takes over we increase the pace. I feel the stirrings of yet another release as he thrusts himself up into me hard, hitting that special spot. Our moaning mingles with our heavy breathing as we bring each other closer to that place that walks the line between pleasure and pain. I'm seized by a rush of sensation so intense that I nearly pass out and Tobias suddenly stills, groaning long and low as he explodes deep inside me. I collapse on top of him, and he immediately pulls out of me and rolls us onto our side.

After our breathing returns to normal, Tobias gets up and turns the overhead lights off. He pulls on a pair of pants and a sweatshirt after throwing me one, which I pull on over my naked body then opens the doors. He sits down beside me and pulls the blanket up around us. The lights from the passing buildings shine into the car and cast a soft glow. He reaches over and gets the cannoli out of the picnic basket.

"How did you know I was hungry again?" I giggle. He holds the wonderful dessert out in front of me, and I take a bite. I moan in appreciation. "Do you remember the first time we rode on a train by ourselves?"

"I'll never forget," he says, reaching up and tucking an unruly strand of hair that keeps blowing into my eyes behind my ear. "You surprised me when you crawled into my lap. You were brave."

"I'll admit I had to talk myself into it," I say. "I was so nervous but I reminded myself that you were just … Tobias." I run my fingers down his cheek then press my lips to his. He runs his hands up my neck into my hair, holding me in place. He glides his tongue against my bottom lip then nibbles on it lightly. I sigh, and he slips his tongue into my mouth, claiming it. We kiss for the longest time, exploring each other's mouths. The lights of the city turn off indicating that it's now midnight, which finally breaks us apart.

"Do you want to go home?" Tobias asks.

"Do we have to?" I ask, thoroughly enjoying our evening on the train.

"No, we can stay," he says. "I arranged for the train to stay off the main tracks to avoid Dauntless members jumping on and off. I didn't want anyone spoiling our night. I think we needed this downtime before Teagan makes here grand appearance." He places a hand on my belly and I cover it with mine.

"I thought so, too," I say. "I miss the kids but I love when it's just us." I clasp our hands together and raise them to my mouth. "Is that wrong?"

"I don't think so," he says. "I didn't know what unconditional love was until I picked up Tessa and held her in my arms. It's strange to have such a profound connection with a total stranger. I love her and Tyler with all my heart and I miss them like crazy when I'm not with them but I am a man who is very much in love with his wife. I don't know if other men feel like this but I crave time with you." He kisses me sweetly and glides the back of his hand down my face. "And as odd as this may sound, I'm not talking about sex. Don't get me wrong, making love to you … _with_ you is beyond words but I also want to talk with you, laugh with you, joke with you, fight with you … live my life with you. You're my best friend, Beatrice Grace Eaton."

"My romantic man," I say. "I have to admit you're not who I thought I was falling in love with."

"Disappointed?"

"Never. Just surprised. Are you really the same guy who threw knives at my head and made me bleed," we both shudder at the memory, "and talked down to me in front of all the other initiates?"

"I think I am," he says after a moment of reflection. "And for the record, I would throw knives at you every day if I thought that's what it would take to keep you safe. Was I really that bad?"

"No or I wouldn't be here," I say. "I think my inner Abnegation recognized a kindred spirit. Some things you said and did made me question which faction you were from."

"I remember," he says with a chuckle. "You grilled me about it."

"Grilled?"

"Alright, _asked_ me about it," he says, rolling his eyes. "You were very perceptive, still are. Persistent, too. Are you sure you were cut out for Candor? Usually Candor know-it-alls are the only ones who ask so many questions." I hit his arm and he feigns injury and makes a pouty face.

"Is there something I can do to make it better, Mr. Eaton?" I ask, batting my lashes at him.

"I could think of a few things, Mrs. Eaton," he seductively says. I get up and hit the button on the wall and turn the latch, locking out the outside world.

"I think it's going to be a long night," I say as I lift my oversized sweatshirt off over my head.


	63. Chapter 63

Something wakes me with a jolt but I can't quite figure out what it is. I yawn as I roll in Tobias' arms and see that he's sleeping peacefully on the makeshift bed he made out of an air mattress and layers of linens and pillows. It's amazingly comfortable for being on the floor of a moving train. He outdid himself last night with our date. Italian food, dancing, talking, laughing, lovemaking. I can only think of a few times with him that top it. I thought we would be up late into the evening but the rhythmic sway of the train and sheer exhaustion conspired against me, making me fall asleep almost immediately after the second time that he made love to me. A pain unlike anything I've ever experienced in my life moves through my belly causing me to double over, and I finally recognize what woke me up. I grunt in pain, holding onto my abdomen. When it subsides, I lay my hand on Tobias' chest.

"Tobias!" I say, trying to shake him awake while I run my hand over my lower abdomen. _No, no, no. It's too early._ "Tobias, wake up. Something's wrong." He grunts then drags his eyelids open but I doubt that he sees me clearly right now. "Tobias, something's wrong with Peanut." This breaks through the fog of sleep. "It's too early."

"What do you mean something's wrong with Peanut?" he asks as he sits up, sleep thick in his voice. I explain to him what I just felt and worry crosses his face. He knows it's too early also. "You need to get dressed." He flicks on the twinkle lights so we can see and finds my dress. He helps me to my feet, and as I'm trying to put the dress on over my head, another pain hits.

"Oh, God!" I say, holding onto my stomach. The garment slips through my fingers and falls to the floor and Tobias grabs ahold of me just before my knees buckle. He lowers us to the mattress and starts looking around. When the pain dissipates, I ask, "What are you looking for?"

"My phone," he says, his Four mask firmly in place. I stare at him for a full minute then burst into tears, overwhelmed, frustrated, and scared to death.

"I don't want Four right now," I wail, unable to see through the veil of tears flowing from my eyes. "I want my husband. I want Tobias." He wraps his arms around me and cradles me against him, rocking me ever so gently. "I'm so scared. Don't hide from me right now. I need you. I need you."

"I'm so sorry, love. I'm here," my Tobias says, caressing my hair and kissing my temple as he holds me. "I'm scared, too. I didn't mean to shut down. I'm here. Let's try getting you dressed again." He grabs my wrinkled dress and has me hold my arms over my head. He slips the icy fabric on and lets it fall into place, causing me to shiver. He finds my jacket and hands it to me. I shrug it on as he slips my boots on my feet. He picks up my bra and panties and shoves them in the picnic basket. I watch as he frantically pick things up.

"Tobias," I say. "You may want clothes, too." He stops what he's doing, looks down, and curses. "Usually I like watching you walk around naked in front of me but I don't need to get turned on right now." I give him a small smile in an effort to lighten the mood but then another pain hits and he kneels in front on me. I grab onto his hand and squeeze. I don't know why. I just do.

"These are pretty damn close together," he says. "Do you think you're in labor?"

"I don't know," I say, barely getting it out. He pulls on his boxer briefs, jeans, and sweatshirt and shoves an armful of stuff into his duffle bag. He finally finds his phone. It fell off the bench and slid to the opposite end of the car. He makes a call but I can't hear what he's saying. He hangs up and sits down beside me. His expression is alternating between annoyed and scared. "What's wrong?"

"I didn't think," he says, his Four persona battling to be front and center.

"I don't understand."

"We're on a moving train, love," he slowly says. "We are miles from our car and miles from the hospital." A new fear sprouts inside me but I don't have time to dwell. I breathe deeply when I feel the pain coming. If this is labor, he's never touching me again, and we won't have any more babies. God, I feel like I'm dying.

"How long before we get to the hospital?" I ask when I can speak.

"An hour," he says. "Maybe more." He gets his phone out again and presses a button. "Zander, Four ... Sorry to call so late or early, I guess. Tris woke me up having pains … I don't know how far apart they are. We haven't timed them but they're pretty close … I would but we're on a train … Yes, you heard me right … I thought I was doing something nice for my wife. I didn't know this would happen … Can sex make a woman go into labor … No, I'm not planning on having sex with her now. What kind of a person do you think I am … An hour from the hospital … Yes, I'm stupid. Here, love. Zander would like to talk to you."

"Hi, Zander," I say after I take the phone from Tobias.

"Tris, how are you?"

"Scared," I say.

"That's understandable," he says. "I need you to stay calm for me. Can you do that?"

"I'll try," I say.

"I need you to answer all my questions the best you can, okay?"

"Okay."

"Has your water broken?" he asks.

"I don't think so," I say feeling around me. "The bed's not wet."

"Bed? I thought Four said you two were on a train?"

"We are," I say. "Don't ask."

"I'm not going to," he says. I hear him mutter under his breath and I swear I hear Abnegation and irresponsible, two words rarely spoken in the same sentence. "What does the pain feel like?"

"I don't know if I can describe it," I say.

"I've heard all kinds of descriptions. Just do the best you can."

"It's like my stomach is getting really … tight. Imagine the worst leg cramp you've ever had and multiply it by 100 or maybe 1000."

"Okay." He probably thinks I'm a drama queen but it hurts. "Where is the pain?"

"Mostly in my mid to lower abdomen but it might be in my back, too."

"Hhm."

"I have to admit," I say, "I can't really concentrate when they're happening."

"Are you feeling any pain or pressure in your vagina?" I know I go red at this question. "Tris?"

"I don't think so," I finally say after thinking about it for a moment.

"Have you felt any kind of pain before today?" he asks.

"Only the occasional swift kick," I say. "I've never felt anything like this in my life. That I would remember."

"This is very important. I need you to start timing the contractions," he says.

"Contractions?" I sputter. "It's too early."

"It sounds like you're in labor but without being able to do an examination myself, I can't be sure. Listen, the first thing I need you to do is to stay as calm as possible. Elevated blood pressure is your enemy, Tris. Lie down and get some water. If it's Braxton Hicks contractions, pre-labor or false labor, these two things can help stop it."

"Okay. What else do I need to do?"

"Like I said, have Four time the contractions. How long they are and how far apart they are," he says. "Braxton Hicks aren't regular and they don't get closer together."

"Okay," I say. "I'll lie down and try to relax after I drink some water."

"Get to the hospital as soon as you can and, Tris, remember that you need to stay calm. I'm not saying this to scare you but I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't tell you that getting yourself worked up could put you and the baby at risk with your possible preeclampsia. I'll call the hospital and Isobel so they will know to expect you."

"Okay, Zander," I say then push the phone toward Tobias and roll up into the fetal position and moan through another maybe contraction. When it fades, I roll over and look up at Tobias.

"Here's some water, love." I ease myself up on my left elbow, take the proffered bottle, and slowly drain it then lie back down. Tobias grabs a few pillows and puts a couple under my head and one under my belly. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Hold my hand," I say. He grabs my hand between his and caresses it gently. "Thank you. Zander told me that you need to start timing the contractions, Tobias." Tears wet my eyes when I say that word. "It's too early."

"I know it is, love." He reaches out and wipes the tear off my cheek. "I need you to do something for me, Tris. It isn't going to be easy. It will probably be the hardest thing you've ever done but you are to strongest person I know."

"What is it?" I ask, really worried now.

"I need you to let me do all the worrying for both of us. Stress isn't good for Peanut. Stress isn't good for you," he says, trying not to get choked up. "You lie there, breathe through the pain, and imagine our perfect little girl in your arms when this is all over."

"Tobias," I start to say but he places his lips to mine to silence me. The kiss is over before it can really begin.

"Please, love. Do this for me."

"Okay." He sits beside me, holding my hand and timing the contractions, which aren't as close together as we thought they were but are getting closer. The first two contractions he timed each lasted a little over 30 seconds and were just over seven-and-a-half minutes apart while the last ones were just under seven minutes apart. The pain seems to be getting worse also, which I didn't think was possible. I told Zander that I thought I had back pain and now I know I wasn't imagining it. It seems like my entire midsection, front to back, is trying to rip me in two or tie me in a knot.

I'm trying to stay calm for Peanut and Tobias but it's not easy. I've never been more terrified in my life than I am right now. Not when I found Tobias' name on a hit list, not when Peter attacked me, not when Marcus and Peter kidnapped me, not when I was shot. All these things pale in comparison. I could lose my baby if we don't get to the hospital soon.

"Tris, love, hang in there," he says as I pant through another contraction. "We're almost there. Everything's going to be alright. I promise."

"Rub my back please," I say when the contraction is over. "I'm going to close my eyes." I'm exhausted and only want to sleep but the excruciating pain is keeping me awake and on edge. He releases my hand and moves behind me. He rubs my lower back right where it's hurting and kisses my head. I don't know if I doze off or not but one minute I'm listening to the metal on metal of the train on the tracks and the next I'm listening to my husband.

"I'm not a religious man. I prayed many hours when I was a child, asking for Marcus' abuse to stop but it never did. If I had any faith before, I think that's when I lost it. But I'm desperate enough right now to try anything. You can't take my wife away from me. I couldn't bear it. She's everything to me and more. She's my reason for getting up in the morning, my sanity, my conscience. She's the love of my life, the mother of my children, and my very best friend. She would probably be angry if she heard me putting her over our daughter but … I just can't." His voice cracks and he's quiet for a moment. "Please keep Tris safe. I can't live without her. I won't. It's a complete improbability. My life would end with hers. She would expect me to go on because of the kids but I'm not sure I could do it. I'm not as strong as she thinks I am. She has always been the strong one in our relationship. I've known that since I saw that flash of gray hurling toward the net that day a little over a year ago. Part of me thinks you sent her to me, my prize for surviving those hell years with my father. Please don't take her back. Don't take my heart. _Please_."

"Tobias," I mumble, moaning as another contraction starts. I reach up and he grabs my hand. He thinks I'm strong. He's wrong. I'm going to need his strength to get me through this. I squeeze his hand and try breathing through the pain. It's so hard.

"We're almost there, love," he whispers in my ear. "Just hold on." He continues rubbing my back while I attempt to cut the circulation off in his hand.

"How long was that?" I ask.

"45 seconds."

"They're getting longer. I need you to look and see what's going on down there. The contractions are making me feel … weird."

"I'm not a doctor. I don't know what to look for," he says, almost sounding appalled at the request.

"Please. I don't want to give birth on this train. We need to know."

"Alright." He helps me roll over onto my back. I bend my knees and spread my legs before him. I think for a moment we both remember the last time we were in this position just a few short hours ago. He shakes off his dazed look and lifts my skirt. I watch his eyes. They don't change. "I don't see anything different. Let's get you back on your side unless this is comfortable for you."

"How much longer?" I ask as I roll onto my other side, trying to reach some measure of comfort. He glances at his phone as he pulls my skirt down to cover everything.

"10 minutes," he says as he lies down in front of me. We gaze into each other's eyes. We're both lost, scared, anxious. We don't say anything because we don't know what to say. When I feel the train coming to a stop two contractions later, I breathe a sigh of relief. Tobias gets up and opens the door. I'm surprised to see Purple-Hair, Snake-Tattoo, and two other Dauntless guards jump into our car. Tobias helps me up then when the train stops completely, he helps me out.

"What are they doing?" I ask as I look up over my shoulder at them.

"Taking our things to my office," he says. "The hospital is a short walk. Do you think you can make it?"

"I'll try." I lean up against his side as he guides me down the sidewalk to the hospital. The breeze is cool in the predawn darkness and I shiver. He pulls me close in an effort to block some of the wind but it doesn't do any good. I may never be warm again. We make it through the sliding glass doors into the empty emergency waiting room just as what feels like a metal band painfully tightens across my midsection. " _Oh, God_!" This gets someone's attention. A petite, fresh-faced blonde nurse comes rushing through the heavy wooden doors and takes in our plight.

"Are you Four and Tris Prior-Eaton?" she asks, getting a wheelchair for me to sit down in.

"Yes," Tobias says sounding like Four again. This time I let him. I know it's his way of dealing with this situation. It's fine as long as he doesn't talk to me like that.

"Drs. Parrish and Wilson as well as the clinic nurse, Isobel, said you would be in. Do you know where OB is?" she asks. Her bubbly personality is really beginning to rub me the wrong way. I hold on to my belly and moan.

"Yes, we do," Tobias says quickly turning the chair toward the elevator. The doors open and he pushes me inside.

"We're never having sex again," I spit as the doors close, leaving us alone. Usually the sexual tension is unbearable when we're in close confines but not today.

"That's fine, love," he says, an irritatingly warm smile on his face.

"I mean it," I say. "Down there is going to be boarded up like the old abandoned buildings in town. Your play area is closed. _FUCK_!" I grab my stomach again, doubling over. I hope Peanut's okay in there.

"Breathe with me," he says.

"I hate you," I say narrowing my eyes and glaring at him. "Get out of here. I don't ever want to see you again. You and your stupid _penis_. Get away from me. Go away!"

"First of all, we're on an elevator; where exactly do you expect me to go. And secondly, you don't mean that, love," he sighs.

"No, I don't," I moan. "When is it going to end?" I blow the short puffs out my mouth until the pain subsides. That was a very long one.

"That was a hell of an elevator ride," he says as he pushes me out into the familiar, dimly lit hallway. He quickly pushes me to the admit desk where Zander, Isobel, and Dr. Wilson are waiting.

"Four, I need you to fill out some paperwork," Dr. Wilson says as Isobel says, "Come on, Tris, let's find out what's going on."

"No, I want him with me," I whine. I can't believe I'm the same person who was just cussing his penis seconds ago. I can tell by the look on his face that right now he doesn't know which Tris he's going to get.

"Tris, the sooner Four fills out everything Dr. Wilson needs him to, the quicker he'll be back to you," Zander says. "It'll only be a few minutes."

"Okay," I pout. He leans down and gives me a quick kiss then Isobel wheels me down the hall to a large, cushy looking suite with an adjustable double bed centered in the room with minimal medical equipment surrounding it. There's also an extra-large couch, a rocking chair, and a dresser. What surprises me the most is the huge tub that dominates the other side of the room.

"This is a birthing suite," she says, noticing my eyes touching on all the furniture. "You can stay in this one room from labor to delivery if in fact you are in labor. Dr. Parrish updated me on your condition. Can you tell me how far apart the contractions are?"

"The last ones were 6 minutes and 27 seconds," I say.

"Are they getting closer together?"

"Yes," I say. "The first ones we timed were over 7 minutes apart."

"And their duration?"

"They've been anywhere from 30-60 seconds."

"Alright. Can you tell me where the pain is?" she asks.

"It's across here," I say, showing here exactly where the pain is located. "It's also in my back. And the last few contractions I've had a really weird sensation kind of like gas."

"In the vagina?" she asks.

"Yeah."

"Okay. I have to say, it sounds like labor. Has your water broke?"

"I don't think so," I say.

"Okay. I am going to need blood and urine from you. Why don't you go into the bathroom and give me a urine sample and change into a gown. I'll then hook you up to a dual monitor that will monitor your contractions and the baby's vitals. Then I'll check to see exactly what's going on down there. How are you feeling?"

"Scared, nervous," I say.

"I'll go see what's keeping your husband," she says. I walk into the bathroom on shaky legs, and after collecting the sample she needs, I wash my hands and change into the dreaded gown I hate. When I come out of the bathroom she has the bed turned down and adjusted to what looks like a comfortable setting. I sit on the edge, and she takes my blood pressure. Her eyes widen at the numbers but she doesn't say anything but I know a lecture of some sort is coming. Next she quickly draws two vials of blood and puts an IV port in my hand in case of emergency. She lets me lie back in bed then attaches the monitors she mentioned via a stretchy band she puts over my abdomen. I relax further when Isobel turns a knob on a machine next to my bed, and I hear her heartbeat. My little Peanut is okay. Next, she has me lie back in bed and she checks my progression. "You are definitely in labor." That's not what I wanted to hear. "You're dilated 3 cm."

"Isn't it too early? Can it be stopped?" I ask. Tobias walks into the room as another contraction hits.

"Sonofabitch," I snarl. He runs to my side, and I grab his hand.

"She is in labor," Isobel repeats for his benefit. "She's dilated 3 cm. I have to consult with Dr. Wilson about something. I'll be right back." I know she leaves the room but I'm concentrating on making it through this minute. That's my plan from now on, to make it through the agonizing minutes. Just as the pain is tapering off, Isobel walks in with Dr. Wilson and Zander trailing behind her.

"Hi, Tris," Zander says, looking at my chart then he looks at the reading on the fetal monitor. "Isobel, how long before the labs come back?"

"I put a rush on them." I furrow my brows at my friends then raise my eyes to Tobias'. They are worried, too. When he sees me watching him he plasters a fake smile across his face and kisses my temple. Something is going on. What is Zander doing here anyway? He doesn't practice at this hospital.

"What's going on?" I ask. "Zander, not that I'm not happy to see you but why are you here?"

"Making sure you have everything you need plus since I've treated you several times throughout the course of your pregnancy, we all decided that I should be here." If he's lying, he's being awfully smooth about it.

"You're worried about something," Tobias says. At first I think he's talking to me but when I look at him, he's looking at Zander.

"Tris' blood pressure is the highest I've ever seen it," he says. "Her past labs are pointing at the strong possibility that she's developed preeclampsia. If that is the case, since she's already in active labor our best course of action will be an emergency C-section."

"This my fault," I say, my voice timid and weak. "You guys have warned me for so long. Stress is my enemy. I didn't listen."

"Calm down, love," Tobias says, putting his arm around me and pulling me close to him.

"We'll leave you two for right now," Isobel says. "Press the button beside the bed if you need me." We watch them leave.

"We need to call my parents," I say.

"Already done," he says.

"I'm sorry," I say. "I'm sorry for the things I said in the elevator. I didn't mean any of them, especially telling you that I hate you. That couldn't be further from the truth. I love you so much. I don't know what I would do without you. We're going to be parents again today, Tobias." I lower my lashes and stare at the bed, a sudden rush of guilt plaguing me. "I heard you on the train … praying." He stiffens beside me. "I'm sorry for being so stubborn these months and putting myself and Peanut at risk. So many things could have went wrong when we were on that train because of me. I'm sorry. _Oh, shit. God! Kill me!_ " A small twinge turns into an agonizing cramp-like sensation across my belly radiating into my back then an odd pressure spreads between my legs and I feel moisture. "I think my water just broke." He jumps up off the bed and throws the blanket off me and sure enough. I'm sitting in a large red-tinged wet spot. He hits the button Isobel pointed out and within a minute she comes into the room.

"We think her water broke?" Tobias says.

"I think it did, too," she says as she looks at the mess.

"Can I clean up?" I ask.

"If you'd like a quick shower that would be okay as long as Tobias stays in the bathroom with you. No sex though."

"Why do people keep telling us that," Tobias says.

"It's our job," she says.

"I have to ask, what's the huge tub for?" I say as I get out of the wet bed.

"Water births," she says. _Water births?_ I'll ask about that another time.

Tobias helps me into the bathroom and I take a quick shower, which makes me feel so much better. I have to sit on the bench in the corner halfway through and breathe through a particularly nasty contraction though. I had to stop Tobias from climbing in with me. I didn't want him getting all wet. Once I'm dried off he helps me into a clean gown. When we come back into the birthing suite, all evidence of my water breaking has been removed and clean sheets and blankets are on the bed. I get situated and after a little prompting, he crawls in with me. I lie on my side facing him, which I find to be the most comfortable.

"You're doing great," Tobias says as he wipes perspiration off my forehead after another round of pains. "I'm so proud of you. With the exception of your outburst in the elevator, you're handling this like a pro."

"I won't lie, it's really hard," I say. I'd like to run my hand through his unruly hair but I'm too exhausted to move it. I feel like I've been awake for days being tortured for information and refusing to talk. "When the pain hits the first thing that crosses my mind is that I'm never allowing you to do this to me ever again but then I concentrate on Peanut's heartbeat and I know she's worth it."

"I know she's worth it, too," he says, almost ashamed. "I thought you were asleep on the train. That must have upset you."

"Not at all," I say. "I would sacrifice my life in an instant for Tyler, Tessa, or Teagan. No question about it but when I think about you doing the same thing," I grimace at the thought, "it hurts my heart. So I think I understand how you feel. I never want to be without you." He pulls my mouth to his and kisses me reverently but swiftly. Just as he pulls away, Zander and Isobel come into the room.

"We got your test results back," Zander says. "All indications state that you have developed preeclampsia. Dr. Wilson is setting up the OR for an emergency C-section as we speak. Tris, you'll be put out with general anesthesia. There is no time for a spinal. Four, you'll have to wait in the surgical waiting area.

"Right now," Tobias and I say at the same time.

"Yes, right now," Zander says. He gives Tobias a look, and he climbs out of bed. I get up with his help and sit in the wheelchair that Isobel is pushing. My anxiety level skyrockets, and I sway in the chair.

"Love, are you alright?" Tobias asks as he drops to his knees before me.

"I'm alright," I whisper. "Just scared. I wanted you with me when I did this."

"I am with you," he says. "I'm right here." He touches his raven and I throw my arms around him and hug him tightly. Zander and Isobel let us have our moment. "I love you. When I see you next, I'll hand you your daughter, Mrs. Eaton."

"I love you, too, Mr. Eaton." I say then I turn my attention to Zander and Isobel. "You guys haven't told us what will happen with the baby."

"We don't know yet," Zander says. "It depends on how well developed she is. She might need some time in the NICU being monitored or she might be able to go home in a couple days. We won't know until she's here. Try not to worry, either of you. She's in good hands."

Tobias walks with me, holding my hand as far as Isobel will allow. After a parting kiss and goodbye, she pushes me into a cold, sterile, brightly lit room. She helps me into a single bed and puts booties on my feet and a cap thing on my head. She leaves the room for a couple minutes then comes back in dressed in scrubs complete with a mask.

"Ready, Tris?" she asks as she wheels me into a larger even colder room, which I didn't think was possible. There are several mask-covered faces looking at me and I get nervous. I hope they are all friendly. A nurse who doesn't bother to introduce herself hooks the IV port that Isobel inserted into my hand up to a drip of some sort. My other hand drops down and runs over my protruding tummy. I close my eyes and talk to my daughter. _I can't wait to meet you, Teagan Grace. It's been a long time coming, Peanut. Your mommy loves you with all her heart and soul. I'll see you soon._

"Good morning, Tris," Dr. Wilson says. I open my eyes and meet his and give him a friendly smile.

"Hi, Dr. Wilson."

"Dr. Cutler, our anesthesiologist, is going to introduce some medication into your IV. You'll then be asked to count backwards from 100. That's your job. My job is to get this precious little bundle of joy out of you. I'll see you when you wake up in recovery." Out of the corner of my eye I see a needle being inserted into the port on my hand. "Okay, Tris."

"100 … 99 … 98 … 97 … 96 … 95." My voice gets weaker and more faraway sounding as I go, and I don't make it to 94.


	64. Chapter 64

I'm not sure where I am but the one thing that I _am_ certain of is that I'm trying to sleep. I'm not at home though because my bed is big, fluffy, soft, and warm, and the bed that I'm lying in now is very small with a thin, lumpy mattress. _Why the hell am I so cold?_ I swear I hear my teeth chattering together noisily or at least I think that's what it is. _Can't anyone else hear this racket?_ Suddenly, something warm and heavy is placed on top of me and I sigh. _Oh, that's better._ The clattering noise goes away but then a woman with a high-pitched nasally voice starts pestering me, asking for numbers between 1 and 10. Who would do that? I grunt at her trying to get her to leave me alone but she's very persistent. I finally give in, and when I figure out how to use my voice again, I play her little game and give her the silly numbers she's asking for. I really wish I knew what that was about. If I had the strength, I'd tell them all too just leave me alone but I don't so I try to block out the noise and get some rest.

"Tris," I hear Tobias say. He sounds so far away and, if I'm not mistaken, he's worried about something. "Beatrice Grace, there's someone here who wants to meet you." I groan. Why would he wake me up to meet a new person? It's almost as absurd as waking me to ask about numbers. Why is everyone bothering me today?

"Tessa?" I say when I hear a baby. I pry my eyes open and see Tobias staring at me. "Did you get her? She's hungry."

"Love, Tessa's not here." It takes a minute for what he says to register.

"Where am I?" I ask, looking around the unfamiliar room, confused.

"You're in the hospital," he says. _Hospital_? When I try to sit up, a pain moves through my abdomen, finally clearing my head.

"The baby." He smiles a brilliant smile at me. "Is she okay? Where is she?" I think I hear my Peanut but I don't see her anywhere.

"She's right here with us," he says motioning with his head a few feet away where a portable baby bed sits. "The doctors thoroughly looked her over before letting her come in your room. They gave her a clean bill of health, love. All her systems appear to be functioning as they should. She's just little."

"I want to see her," I say. "I need my baby." He gets out of the chair he moved close to my bed and picks up a remote-control-looking thing that's attached to the bedframe.

"I'm going to move you so it will be easier for you to hold her," he says. "In case you forgot, you just had major surgery."

"Are you sure she's okay, Tobias?" I worriedly ask as the bed adjusts, causing me to groan in pain. "You're not just saying that."

"See for yourself, love," he says. He goes to the baby bed that I swear wasn't there earlier and picks up the tiniest pink swaddled package I've ever seen in my life, and tears wet my eyes. "Here's your daughter, Mrs. Eaton. She's been waiting patiently to meet you." He gently places this innocent life that I created with my husband out of pure love in my arms, and I really start crying. She's small but she's perfect. I cock my head to one side trying to figure out who she looks like. I see Tobias' eyes looking back at me and my nose. She has a spattering of dark curls on her little head. Her chin looks like Tobias' and her ears are definitely mine. She is the best of both of us. "She's so beautiful."

"Yes, she is," he says sitting back down on the edge of the chair. "Isobel brought me in here after they took you to recovery and wheeled her in about half an hour later. We've been getting acquainted with each other ever since."

"Has she eaten yet?" I ask. I lightly run my finger down her cheek, and she opens her mouth and turns her head toward it. My poor baby is hungry.

"No, she's been waiting on you. The staff didn't want to confuse her by giving her a bottle. They knew you would be awake soon. Isobel told me that there may be the possibility she has trouble nursing but she wants you to try on your own first and to call if you need her for a refresher."

"Okay," I say. "Is there a nursing pillow in here?" He gets up and looks in the closet and dresser.

"I don't see one anywhere. I'll have Isobel get one for you," he says. He kisses my temple then our little Peanut's and says, "I'll be right back," then heads out the door. I gaze down at my beautiful daughter in awe, and she starts squirming then makes a face her sister often makes. It must be a Tobias face.

"Daddy said you've been waiting for me to wake up," I say. When she hears my voice, she seems to calm and stops wriggling in my arms. "Do you remember me? I'm the one who would talk to you for hours while you were growing inside me." My hand goes down to my soft tummy and I sigh. I feel so … _empty_. "Mommy loves you, Peanut." Tobias comes back in holding a red nursing pillow covered in pink hearts. He helps me hold her up a little bit, and I instruct him on exactly where to put the pillow then I sit my arms back down. It's the perfect height. "Can you unsnap my gown?" Tobias unsnaps the snaps on my left shoulder and it falls, revealing my heavy breast.

"Can I sit with you?" he asks.

"Of course you can," I say. He cautiously sits down on the edge of the bed being careful not to jostle it too much as I tuck Teagan into the crook of my arm, adjusting for her small size and run my forearm along her back. I support her head and neck with my thumb and forefinger behind her ears just the way Isobel taught me then I take my other hand and hold my breast in a U-shape and put it up to her mouth. She instinctually opens wide and starts suckling at my nipple but doesn't get latched on, which causes me to grimace. I reposition her a bit and offer her my breast again, and this time she latches on. I relax and watch as she suckles. She's so small that I'm afraid I might hurt her.

"You're scared," Tobias says, gently laying his hand on my leg.

"Reading my mind again?" I ask with a chuckle, trying to hide my anxiety.

"No, only your face, love," he says. "I know she's not very big. 5 pounds, 2 ounces and 17 3/4 inches long. She's just a little peanut like the first time we saw her on the ultrasound."

"Five pounds," I mutter. He kisses my temple and continues staring at our newborn nursing from my breast. "What are you thinking about, Tobias?" He raises his eyes to mine, and I see awe in them.

"We made her. She … she didn't exist. We made love and now we have this perfect little girl. I checked, 10 fingers, 10 toes. _We_ did this." He gives me a soft awe-filled kiss. "Since Zander told us that you were pregnant, I've imagined you like this, holding my newborn daughter in your arms, feeding her from your breast, loving her the way you love me. I always imagined that she would look just like you and she does."

"I think she's the best of both of us," I say. "She has your eyes and your chin." I run my hand over her tiny head. "I know it can change but as of right now she has your hair."

"I still only see you," he says, tears wetting his eyes. He presses his lips to mine and gives me a reverential kiss, which shows me just how happy he is in this moment. "How are you feeling, love? You've had a long, rough morning."

"It's odd. I'm exhausted and exhilarated at the same time. Part of me wants to rest but the bigger part of me just wants to look at her. I love her so much. If I don't move, I don't notice the pain so much. Has there been an update on my blood pressure?" I know that blood pressure issues can last postpartum.

"It's normal," he says.

"Normal?" I ask.

"It began to stabilize the minute she was delivered," he says. "We'll have to have a long, very serious discussion before we decide to have any more kids. Apparently, being pregnant doesn't agree with your body."

"You're getting ahead of yourself aren't you, big boy," I say. "Didn't I tell you the playground was closed?"

"I thought you took that back," he says as he snickers at my comment.

"Maybe. If all our babies are this cute, I'd consider staffing Dauntless ourselves."

"I'm serious, Tris," he says, his expression changing from playful to severe in an instant. "Preeclampsia can be deadly. We both know that first hand because of Evelyn. I don't ever want to do anything that would jeopardize your health. We have three kids. That might just have to be enough."

"I understand your hesitance but maybe we should save this conversation for a time when I don't have a, what, two hour old infant at my breast. We're young. We're desperately in love, or at least I am. We have plenty of time to make that decision."

"You're right," he says. "And for the record, I'm not sure desperately in love covers how I feel about you." I smile at his compliment.

"Have you called anyone with the news?" I ask, looking up at him with love radiating from my eyes.

"I called your parents early this morning and told them you were in labor," he says. "I haven't called and given them the good news yet. I also called Will and Christina after you went in for the C-section but haven't called them back either. I told Will that we obviously wouldn't be available for the fear landscapes or the final ratings today."

"You need to text Christina and tell her that the baby and I are alright," I say. "She's probably worried sick." When he pulls his phone out of his pocket, he jostle the bed and I gasp. "I'm sorry, love. I'll be more careful." He turns on his phone and it chimes, indicating he has messages. "Wow, you're right about Christina." He sends her a quick text and almost immediately the phone rings. He sighs as he answers it. "Hi, Christina … I'm sorry I didn't think to call you back. Tris and the baby are both fine … No, she's nursing right now … I don't think that's a good idea."

"Give me the phone, I can talk to her," I say.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," I say. He hands me the phone. "Hi."

"Tris! I've been so worried."

"Everything happened so fast. One minute we were enjoying our date and the next I was in labor. It's something I won't ever forget."

"Tell me about her," she practically begs.

"Teagan Grace Prior-Eaton was born at 9:19 a.m. I had to have a cesarean because of my blood pressure. She weighs a whopping 5 pounds, 2 ounces and is 17 ¾ inches long. She's tiny but perfectly healthy."

"When can we come see her?" she asks.

"How about tomorrow?" I say. "I'm exhausted and a little loopy from whatever they gave me during the surgery. Don't you have your plate full with the fear landscapes anyway?"

"You're right," she says, although she does sound disappointed.

"I better go," I say. "And, Christina?"

"Yeah, Tris."

"I love you."

"I love you, too. Take care of your baby. I'll see you tomorrow." I give Tobias back his phone and take Peanut away from my breast. She doesn't even make a sound but she does open her eyes and frown at me, and I'm taken aback. That was my face just staring back at me. Maybe Tobias is right, maybe she does favor me. I carefully put her up to my shoulder so I can burp her.

"Is something wrong?" Tobias cautiously asks.

"She just frowned at me, and it was like looking in a mirror," I say. "It's kind of … strange looking in a little face and seeing your own." He seems to relax, and I wonder if I'm missing something.

"I told you she looks like her mommy," he says.

"Does it ever surprise you when you see your expressions in Tyler and Tessa?" I ask. I know they are Evelyn's expressions that the three have inherited but I like to think that they are exclusively his.

"It did at first, especially with Tessa. It's strange seeing your smile on someone else face, especially a girls," he says, a warm smile turning up his lips. "I'm surprised that you told Christina that you wanted her to wait to come see you. Was she okay with that?"

"I think so, although she did seem disappointed," I say. "I reminded her of the fear landscapes. There's no way she would have time to visit anyway." Peanut makes a soft little burp, and I carefully move her from my shoulder and back into my arms. Tobias fixes my gown on the left side then unsnaps the right. It takes more effort this time, but she finally latches on to my other nipple. I'm so used to Tessa's eager suckling that feeding Teagan feels strange. "Teagan Grace Eaton, you are very beautiful, and Mommy loves you very much. I'll always be here to love you and protect you. You will never feel unloved. I promise. I'll always keep you safe." I stare at her as she continues to nurse and suddenly have a strong desire to have all my kids in one place. "Tobias, I miss Tyler and Tessa. Can you go get them? I really want to see them."

"I planned on getting them after supper," he says. "You need some rest, and Tyler will be a handful."

"I know I should rest but I really want to see them," I pout. "I miss them terribly. Please, baby."

"You know I can't resist giving you what you want when you beg," he says, leaning over and kissing my forehead. "Are you sure?" I look into his face and know that he's right.

"I'll make you a deal," I say. "I'll wait to see the kids and introduce them to Teagan if you arrange for them to spend the night with us. I need my family with me right now. If you can't arrange it, I want my kids here now."

"Demanding little thing, aren't you?" he chuckles, kissing my temple. "I'll go see what I can do."

"I love you, Tobias. You've given me so much. I don't deserve you."

"Don't say that, love," he says, his face pained. "I'm the one who's unworthy. You're an absolute angel." He caresses the side of my face with the back of his fingertips then threads them into my hair and places his lips on mine for an adoring kiss. "I love you so much. You've given me quite a gift today." We both gaze at Teagan while she slowly nurses. "Thank you. You don't know what she means to me."

"I think I do," I say. "She means the same thing to me."

"Can I get you anything while I'm out?" he asks as he carefully gets to his feet.

"I could use some juice and something to eat. I'm starving."

"Orange?"

"Apple," I say.

"I'll let the nurses know you're ready for lunch, and I'll get you that juice," he says before he gives me another lingering kiss then he kisses Teagan's head. "I'll be back soon. Love you both." I love how affectionate he is today, not that he isn't affectionate on a daily basis but today love is radiating off of him. I doubt anyone could mistake him for _Four_ today. He's just being too sweet. He pulls his phone out of his pocket as he walks out the door.

"Well, it looks like it's just you and me," I say as I carefully move Teagan to my shoulder after she stops suckling. I pat her back until she burps then I lay her on the pillow. She's sound asleep. I remove the lightweight pink blanket that is swaddling her so I can sneak a peek. Everything about her is perfect, 10 fingers and 10 toes just like her father told me. I gently lay my hand on her and it practically covers her torso. I imagine she looks miniscule in Tobias' hands. I check her diaper, which looks like it was designed to fit a toy doll instead of an infant but it's dry. Before I swaddle her again I put her against my bare chest, skin to skin like I used to do after I fed Tessa when she was a newborn. I don't know if it does anything special for them but it gives me a very strong sense of bonding. I take her blanket and cover us up. I don't want her to get cold. Someone sitting on the bed makes me open my eyes, and I find Tobias looking at me.

"Sorry I woke you," he says as he puts the apple juice on the bedside table.

"I must have just dozed off."

"You're exhausted, love. How about I take the baby and you get some rest until the cafeteria brings you some lunch?"

"I want to hold her a little while longer," I say.

"Okay. I have some good news," Tobias says. "Isobel says this is a family birthing suite so the kids are more than welcome to stay with us. I called your mom and gave her our wonderful news. She told me to tell you congratulations and that she's eager to meet her newest granddaughter. I hope you don't mind but I told her tomorrow."

"That's fine," I say.

"I arranged to pick the kids up at 5 o'clock."

"How are they doing? Is Tessa feeling alright? Do they miss us?"

"They're both fine," he says with a chuckle. "Tessa's back to normal, and I'm sure your Mom is keeping them busy so they don't have a chance to miss us." There's a knock on the door right before it unexpectedly opens and a tall, thin man in a hairnet comes in carrying a tray.

"Lunch for," he looks at a tag on the cover, "Beatrice Prior-Eaton."

"That's me," I say. He sits the covered tray on the bedside table then promptly leaves.

"I better put her back in her bed so she can rest. It's been an exhausting day for her, too," Tobias says. I want to argue but I know he's right. I can't hold her while I'm eating anyway. He very careful picks her up off my bare chest and, I'm right, she looks tiny in his massive hands. Unexplainable fear wells up in me.

"Please be careful with her," I say and he gives me an odd look.

"Of course, I will, love," he says. He carries her and her blanket to the changing table and quickly swaddles her after checking her diaper. I forgot how good he was at that. I rest my head on my pillow after closing my gown and watch him take care of our daughter.

"I just can't get over how small she is. How do they know she's alright? She's more than a month early." He gently places her in the baby bed and kisses her head.

"We have to trust the doctors," he says. "It's all we can do beside worry needlessly. Let's enjoy our daughter instead of worrying, okay?"

"Okay," I say. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he says, kissing my forehead. He pulls the tray table across my lap after he raises it so that it won't hit my incision then uncovers the tray. My stomach growls in anticipation of the wonderful meal before me.

"Would you like to share?" I ask as I take a bite of the barbeque baked chicken. "I'll never be able to eat all this."

"You eat what you can, and I'll finish the rest," he says as he lowers himself into the chair again. I make it through half the chicken, green beans, scalloped potatoes, and applesauce then turn the plate over to him. I watch him devour the remaining food as I sip the slushy apple juice.

"Can you help me into the bathroom?" I ask when he finishes the meal.

"Of course," he says with a huge smile.

"What's the grin for?"

"I felt so useless while you were in labor," he says as he moves the tray table out of the way. He adjusts the bed and pulls back the blanket so I can get up. "Now you need me."

"I always need you, Tobias," I say. "Don't doubt that … ever." He helps me out of bed and to my feet then lets me lean on him as he leads me to the bathroom. I moan with each step and groan as I lower myself to the toilet. After relieving myself, he helps me back to my feet. I wash my hands then he helps me back to bed. "I don't know what was more exhausting, labor or walking to the bathroom just now." He lowers the bed into a reclining position, and I know I'll be out soon. "Will you lie down with me? It will make it easier for me to sleep."

"Anything you want, love," he says. He eases himself into bed, and I carefully move myself, a grimace on my face the entire time, until I'm in his arms then he caresses my hair until I drift off to sleep.


	65. Chapter 65

I stretch and pain courses through my abdomen reminding me that I gave birth to our little Peanut just a few short hours ago. I groan and move my hand to my now soft tummy. It feels strange after months of having her inside me to no longer feel her kicks, stretches, and punches. It actually makes me feel kind of sad. When I hear whispering, I open my eyes and find Tobias sitting in the rocking chair with the baby up against his chest talking to her.

"I'm not afraid of a lot of things, Peanut. That's how I got a name you'll hear from time to time: Four. Heights, confinement, following unjust orders, and Marcus – your grandfather but I'll save that story for another time – these things have followed me around, seared into my psyche. I couldn't shake them no matter how hard I tried. That is until I met your mother then I learned a whole new meaning to the word fear.

"I was so scared when Mommy went into labor on the train. I didn't know what to do. I was terrified that something bad would happen and I would lose her and in turn lose you but thank God we made it to the hospital in time. I actually breathed a sigh of relief. Then the doctors told me Mommy had to have an operation to safely get you out of her tummy before something bad could happen to both of you because of a disease that's partially my fault. I thought I would go out of my mind with fear. I felt useless. Everything was out of my control. I paced around the waiting room like a mad man waiting for news. My friend, Zander, tried to reassure me but I was irrational and inconsolable. I owe him an apology. But here you are, safe and sound in my arms, just as beautiful as I always thought you would be; although, never in my wildest dreams did I imagine you this tiny. And the love of my life is just a few feet away, resting.

"You're pretty lucky, Peanut. You have a mother who would climb mountains, crawl through glass on her hands and knees, and walk through fire for you. Never take that love for granted because not all Mommies love the way she does. I know that from firsthand experience. Hhm. That's a story for another time, too. You remind me of her already. You're brave, a fighter. No one is going to tell you what to do. You'll do things in your own time in your own way.

"I love you so much. I'll never do anything to make you doubt that. There will be times that we're mad at each other, you may even think that you hate me but I will always be there for you no matter what. That's what Daddies are supposed to do." She makes this pitiful little whimpering sound, and he tries shushing her but she doesn't quiet down. He looks my way and color floods his cheeks when he finds my eyes on him and realizes I'm awake. "You've taken up eavesdropping, haven't you, love?"

"What can I say, talking woke me up," I say. "Is someone ready to be nursed again? I can't find a clock."

"It's almost 3:30. You've been asleep a couple hours." He gets out of the chair, readjusts the bed so I'm in a sitting position, and puts that nursing pillow where I need it. He helps me with my gown again then hands me the baby. It's just as difficult to get her to latch on as it was before but once she does, she's a natural. A nurse comes in while I am feeding her and takes my vitals and checks my pain level. I feel foolish for wondering why that nurse earlier kept asking for numbers. Before she leaves, she checks on how the baby is nursing and announces that Peanut has a good suck for a preemie.

"I never asked earlier, did you tell Tyler about his baby sister being born?" I ask as I finish nursing her.

"No, I didn't," he says, "and I asked your mom not to give the surprise away. I did tell her that she could tell Tessa since she was itching to tell someone and I thought our little one could keep a secret." I laugh and grab my stomach then wait for the pain to subside. "Are you alright?"

"I will be. You heard what the nurse said, it's a lengthy recovery," I say. "Maybe you better take her. I think she might need her diaper changed anyway." He takes her from me and changes her first diaper.

"We need to talk about something," he says as he lies a sleeping Teagan in the baby bed again. This piques my interest.

"Is something wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing's wrong. I just thought now was a good time to discuss birth control. I love this girl with all my heart but we don't need another one in a year or even sooner."

"I agree," I say. "I'll just get the shot again."

"From what I've read, it might not be safe while you're breastfeeding," he says. He picks up a pamphlet from the tray table and hands it to me. The picture on the front is a close up of a woman breastfeeding and is titled Breastfeeding-Friendly Birth Control Ideas. I look up at Tobias with raised brows and he smiles. "I was anxious and scared when you were having the C-section. I noticed this pamphlet and thumbed through it." Of course he noticed. A big naked boob on the front. What man could resist? "I had no idea there were so many different forms of birth control." I open it up and am just as surprised as he is.

"Hhm. Did you know breastfeeding under certain conditions is considered a form of birth control in itself?" We both look at each other. "I'm not sure I would want to chance it though." He sits down on the bed, and we read about the various methods.

"There's one that stands out to me as a good option but this is your body we're talking about, not mine. Do I even have a say?" he asks, quite seriously. I rest my head on his shoulder and he kisses my hair.

"We're married so I want your opinion," I say. "Besides you know my body just as well if not better than I do."

"In that case, I like the IUD method. It says it's 99% effective preventing pregnancy and can protect for five years, plus it's perfectly safe for breastfeeding. That's better than the shot," he says. I also see that it can stop my period, which would be a huge bonus.

"I actually like that idea myself," I say. "At my last prenatal appointment, Isobel said we would discuss birth control at one of the postnatal visits. This should give me an idea of what to talk to her about. Thanks."

"I hope you don't think I'm rushing anything. I'm not, I swear," he says. "Our relationship is not based on sex but …"

"It's important and will be greatly missed for the next six weeks," I say finishing his thought with a smirk on my face.

"We really do know each other, don't we?" He pulls me to him, cautious not to cause any additional pain and kisses me softly. Passion simmers just beneath the surface, and he pulls away before it can break through and burn out of control. He looks at his phone and sighs.

"I've got to stop by home and pick up a few things before I get the kids," he says. "Do you need anything before I go?"

"Yeah, I need to go to the bathroom, and I wouldn't mind another apple juice and a bottle of water," I say. He helps me to the bathroom and back into bed then gets me the drinks and sets them on the table beside me.

"Can you push her bed closer in case she needs me while you're gone?" I ask. He hesitates for a moment before parking her bed right next to me. From the angle I'm sitting, I can see inside and watch her every move.

"I'll be back soon. I love you," he says. He gently touches Teagan's head and says, "Daddy will be back soon. I love you." I watch as he walks out the door then look down at Peanut who looks smaller than she actually is in that bed. I reach out and caress her head.

"If there is one thing that I have done right in my life, my sweet baby girl, it was marrying your daddy. Not only is he the best husband in the world – he gave me you – but he's the absolute best Daddy hands down. You'll learn this. He'll love you with all his heart, and he'll protect you with all his might. If you fall down, he'll kiss your boo-boo then encourage you to get back up.

"And know this, Peanut, you came from a place of deep, deep love. I'm not sure I knew until today just how deeply I love your father. Not until I heard him with you, our little miracle. Or maybe I just fell in love with him that much more. We love you so much." I close my eyes to rest. I don't know if I actually sleep because every time she moves or breathes or makes a noise, my eyes fly open to make sure she's okay. You would think I'm a first time mother.

Before Tobias can get back, Teagan starts getting restless. I can't tell what time it is so I don't know if she's hungry or if she's just craving some attention. I gently push her bed away a couple inches then grab the remote and adjust the bed. I inch to the edge then hold my breath as I swing my legs out over the side. I take a tentative step and wish that Tobias was here but he's not. Just as I pick her up, I think that maybe I should have called one of the nurses but if I'm expected to care for her, I need to be able to do this. I cradle her close to my body and get the nursing pillow off the end of the bed and toss it up by my flat pillow. I take the two steps back and ease myself down on the bed and just sit there, resting. Whatever they gave me during the cesarean must have knocked me on my ass. I've never been this tired, and I'm the mother of an almost five month old. I inch myself back onto the bed, grunting and grimacing the entire time then hold my breath as I lift first one and then the other leg up on the bed.

"Your daddy is going to kill me when he sees I have you," I say as I manage to get myself back to my starting position. I position the nursing pillow then rest. "Are you hungry again or are you as tired as I am?" She turns her head toward my caressing finger on her cheek, and I get my answer. I just finish nursing her when the door opens.

"You need to be very quiet because your mommy is … awake," Tobias says, his voice faltering when he sees me sitting here holding the baby. "Remember that I told you I have a surprise for you?"

"Yeah!" Tyler excitedly says.

"Well come over here. We have someone we want you to meet."

"Hi, buddy," I say. I catch the confused but expectant look on his face as he walks over to my hospital bed.

"Hi, Mommy." Tobias very gently lies Tessa, who is sound asleep beside me on the bed then walks around by where Tyler is standing and lifts him in his arms and sits down on the edge of the bed. He looks all around then his eyes land on the package in my arms.

"Mommy had the baby," Tobias says. "I'd like for you to meet your baby sister. This is Teagan Grace."

"Hi, baby," he says. He leans over to get a closer look then smiles brilliantly.

"You've got to be careful with Mommy," Tobias says. "The doctors had to give her an operation to take the baby out of her tummy, and she's really sore so you've got to be really gentle with her, okay?"

"You otay?" he asks, worried. I reach out and caress his cheek.

"I'm fine, buddy. Just tired and sore but I'll be as good as new in no time."

"Not if you pick her up while no one is around," Tobias mumbles.

"I told you, Peanut," I snicker and he narrows his eyes at me.

"Tell me you at least called a nurse to help you," he pleads.

"I could but it wouldn't be the truth," I say.

"Tris," he says somewhat exasperatedly.

"I know," I say. "I just think I should be able to take care of her but maybe I pushed it a little. I won't while I'm still in the hospital. I promise."

"You know I worry," he says. Whimpering grabs my attention, and I look down at Tessa who is staring up at me with a frown on her face. And so it begins.

"I think Tessa's hungry," I say.

"I can give her a bottle," he says.

"No, I want to feed her," I say.

"Wouldn't it be easier if you just fed Teagan from now on?" he says.

"It probably would but there's something we both need to remember, Tessa's not even 5 months old yet. She needs her Mommy, too. This is what I've worried about since Zander told me I was pregnant, Tobias, but I'm going to do my best to nurse them both while I can."

"You're absolutely right," he says, sounding ashamed. He sits Tyler on the floor then takes Teagan and puts her in the baby bed. Next he walks around the bed and picks up Tessa who is chewing on her fist. "Daddy's so sorry, little one." He presses his lips against her temple, and she grins at him. I unsnap my gown so I can nurse her, and he lays her in my arms. She immediately finds my nipple and latches on, suckling eagerly.

"You don't need any coaxing do you, little one?" It's been ages since I've used a nursing pillow with her but it's coming in handy right now. While I nurse Tessa, Tobias holds Tyler so that he can see the baby, and I talk to my little one. "Do you understand what's going on? You have a baby sister now. She's not in Mommy's tummy anymore. It's going to be like she's always been here with you. You and Teagan will be as close as twins one day but I promise, no matching dresses!" She smiles at my joke, giving me hope she understands. "Mommy loves you, little one." After she finishes nursing, Tobias takes Tyler to the cafeteria and comes back with what they proclaim is a picnic lunch, which we will have in bed. Tobias sits Tyler and Tessa in the middle of the mattress then passes out turkey sandwiches, chips, and carrot sticks. While we eat, Tessa chews on her purple butterfly and grabs at all the food.

"So what do you think of your baby sister?" I ask Tyler once we are all finished with supper.

"When Daddy told me he had pwize fo me I thought it was a puppy," he pouts. I laugh then grimace.

"You otay?" Tyler asks, his eyes wide and panicky.

"I sure am. I have to remember not to laugh. It hurts my tummy," I say. "You really want a puppy, don't you?" His eyes brighten and his head eagerly bobs up and down. "Don't you think your baby sister is better than a puppy?" He narrows his eyes and thinks about this long and hard. I think we have our answer.

"I have sissy already. I don't have a puppy," he says using understandable logic. If I felt better I would hug him tightly.

"I'm afraid that a puppy just isn't in the cards right now," Tobias says. Although we haven't talked about this, I have to agree. Tyler gives him a confused look not knowing exactly what his statement means. "I'm afraid the answer is no. You can't have a puppy right now. When you are older and more responsible, we'll talk about it again, okay? Is that fair?" Tyler lowers his head and doesn't say anything for the longest time. Finally he lifts his chin, and my heart twists when I see the tears. He really wants a dog and right now I really want to give it to him. Of course, I won't. Tobias lifts him into his lap and comforts him and within minutes, he's out like a light.

"Did he have a nap today?" I ask. "It's too early for him to be asleep."

"No, he didn't," he says. "They went to the park with your mom this afternoon. He played hard so he's probably out for the night. Do you agree with my decision about the dog? I'm sorry I didn't discuss it with you first."

"As a matter of fact I do, although I wanted to give him one when he looked up at us," I say.

"I know," he says. "I did, too. It's hard being a parent."

"Yeah, it is." He gently eases himself and Tyler off the bed and sits down on the couch with him. We both know he's down for the count when Tobias changes him into his PJs and he doesn't move a muscle. After changing him, he lies him down and covers him with a blanket. He excuses himself to go to the car and get what he stopped at home for including Tessa's travel sleeper so she'll have somewhere to sleep tonight but unlike her brother, our little one is wide awake. She's jabbering and laughing, grinning from ear to ear at us. We leave Peanut in her bed so that Tessa doesn't feel left out until she needs nursed again. When I put Teagan to my breast, Tessa looks at me like, "What the hell are you doing, Mom? Those are mine." She goes as far as to start crying but Tobias finally gets her calmed down just as I'm finishing with Peanut. Is this jealousy? Is this what I have to look forward to from my daughters? Anxiety blooms in my chest, and I'm not sure I know how to do this. I think I was doing pretty well with two kids. Why did I think that three wouldn't be that different?

"Tris, are you okay?" Tobias asks, noticing my anxiety. He puts Tessa in her travel sleeper and Teagan in her bed and sits down beside me. "What's wrong, love?"

"I'm not sure I can do this," I whisper. My chest feels like an elephant is sitting on it, and I can't quite catch my breath.

"Shit," he mutters then presses the emergency button on the wall. A nurse I've never seen hurries into the room and Tobias tells her I'm having a panic attack. I must look like hell because after a glance my way she hurries out of the room and returns immediately with a syringe.

"This will calm you down and help you sleep," she says. She injects the needle into the port that Isobel put in my hand early this morning and administers something that has immediate effects, and I feel the dead weight lift off my chest and my breathing begin to normalize. The nurse checks my pulse and seems satisfied that the medication is working as intended. "While I'm here I'll get your vitals and check on Teagan's too. Okay?" I think I lied about never seeing this nurse before. This is the same bubbly blonde from the ER this morning or she has a twin.

"Okay. What did you give me? I'm breastfeeding two babies and I need to be able to do that," I say, fighting hard to keep my eyes open as she wraps a blood pressure cuff around my arm. She rattles off a word that I've never heard before and explains that it is perfectly safe to use on nursing mothers. She finishes her examination then leaves us alone. Tobias sits down beside me and picks up my hand.

"I don't know what happened just now but you _can_ do this. You are the strongest most loving person I know. Our children are lucky to have you. If feeding them both is too much for a couple days, we can give Tessa a bottle. We have plenty of milk stored up. You don't have to do everything yourself. I'm here." I grab ahold of him ignoring the ache in my gut and lay my head on his shoulder.

"Thank you for reminding me I'm not alone," I say, my words slurring slightly from the combination of sheer exhaustion and medication. "I was overwhelmed. Tyler would rather have a puppy instead of another little sister and even though she's only four months old, I think Tessa was jealous that I was feeding another baby." He eases me back and reclines the bed.

"I want you to sleep. We'll talk about this later," he says. "I'll stay up with Tessa and give her a bottle before she goes to bed. When Teagan needs you, I'll wake you up." He kisses my head and gets up.

"Tobias, you're a good dad," I mumble then peacefully drift off.


	66. Chapter 66

I stand under the trickle spitting from the showerhead in the birthing suite, letting the hot water wash over me. I don't remember such poor pressure when I took the quick shower after my water broke but it's probably because all I could focus on was the excruciating contractions. I don't mind though. I've been sitting in my own filth for the last three days and just getting to run the hot water over my body feels good. I have my cesarean incision covered so it won't get wet so I linger under the weak spray.

"Tobias?" I call out, knowing he isn't very far.

"Yeah, love?" he says.

"I need help." I think at one time I actually had some modesty around him. Not anymore. Because of my incision, I can barely move and bending is damn near impossible so over the past three days, he's given me sponge baths, dressed me, helped me on and off the stool, and gone as far as to wipe me. I tried to do it myself but was convinced that my guts were about to spill across the faded linoleum floor if I reached any further. Thank God that only happened a couple times. But now I need him to wash me. I flip off the water, and he opens the door. A cool breeze follows him in, and he tries to be quick. He lathers up a rough washcloth and washes my back then bends down and washes both my legs up to my thighs. He washes my most intimate areas then stands back up. "Thank you."

"That's what I'm here for," he says. He kisses my temple then steps out of the shower and closes the door. I turn the water back on then thoroughly rinse all the soap off then quickly wash and condition my hair.

"I'm ready," I say as I turn the water off for good this time. He opens the stall door and helps me step out into the chilly bathroom. He picks up an oversized towel off the shelf above the toilet and dries my hair then every inch of my body right down to my toes.

"Christina sent some panties you are going to hate," he says as he gets to his feet. Today, I get to put on real clothes since they are allowing me to go home.

"It isn't a thong, is it?" I ask, mortified at the thought.

"Just the opposite," he says as he pulls a pair of white satin briefs out of the bag he leaned up against the sink. I laugh then grab my tummy. "I've got to stop making you laugh, love. She told me to tell you they won't rub against your incision like your normal panties would." He kneels down in front of me and holds the very unsexy, practical lingerie out in front of me. Maybe this is a good idea. Zero temptation. I put my hand on his shoulder to steady myself then first lift one leg, then the other. When I'm back on two feet, he pulls them up into place. They remind me of Abnegation standard issue underwear. No frills, all function. He hands me the matching nursing bra, and after I slide it into place, he fastens it for me. "She tried to send something new but I thought you would want comfort above style." He's definitely right. He holds out a pair of old sweatpants in front of me and helps me into them. They are so loose that nothing hits my incision. He lastly pulls out a nursing tank top/sweater combo for me to put on. "I'll help with your shoes and socks when I get you back in bed." I quickly comb through my damp hair then let him lead me back into the other room.

"Do we know when they are going to discharge Peanut and me?" I ask as he pulls socks onto my cold feet. I don't think they've regained their feeling since I was in the icy operating room.

"Isobel said that she would be in later, although how much later she didn't say," he says. He picks up Peanut who is fussing in the baby bed and brings her to me. She eats every two hours. I think we could set our clocks by her.

"Come here, Peanut," I say. Even though it still takes a little work to get her latched on correctly, she is nursing well. Apparently, some preemies have feeding tubes, and I wouldn't want that for her. We're extremely fortunate that for as early as she graced us with her presence, she has had zero complications. After she was here safe and sound in my arms, Isobel finally told me what the risks were. I shuddered and kissed her little head and whispered how much I loved her during that conversation. She will never doubt my feelings.

"Are you ready to get home?" Tobias asks as we watch Teagan nurse. I convinced him to sit with us while we wait to go home, although it didn't take much. He's barely left my side since she was born.

"More than ready," I say. "It will be nice to sleep in my own bed, take a shower that doesn't feel like a gentle rain, and establish some sort of routine with the kids." I gaze out the window and wonder how Tyler and Tessa are doing. They stayed with us the first night just like I wanted but it didn't work out very well with us all in one room. Teagan's cries woke up Tessa and their combined crying annoyed Tyler until he was a whiny mess. So they've been with my mom and dad the past two nights. Mom brought them for a few hours each day to visit, which I appreciate. I miss them terribly.

I'm still overwhelmed at the realization that I have three kids, two of whom are not even five months apart but I try not to overthink anything. I did voice my concerns to Isobel about nursing both girls, and she told me about tandem feedings. I didn't know you could feed two babies at the same time. She told me that she did it with her twins, and it made her life a lot easier. I haven't tried it yet since Tessa hasn't needed nursed while she was with me the past couple days. I imagine Tobias told my mom to make sure she had a bottle before coming to the hospital so that I wouldn't freak out like I did Sunday night. I'm embarrassed by my actions but Isobel told me that feelings like that are perfectly normal. She also told me not to hide anything. It's best to deal with how I'm feeling head on. She told me I could call anytime even if it's just to say hi. I know I'll take her up on the offer and probably often.

"What are you thinking about, love?" Tobias asks, bringing me back to the present.

"How we're going to do this? I can tell Tyler's feeling left out. Tessa _hates_ her sister and she hates me."

"She does not hate you," he says as he rolls his eyes. We've had this particular conversation before. Tessa cries, I mean huge crocodile tears roll down her chubby cheeks from the time I put Teagan to my breast until she finishes. No one can calm her. We thought it was a coincidence the first time it happened but she does it every time I feed her sister. And when she looks at me, her sparkle is gone, and all she does is frown. Everyone tells me I'm imagining it but I don't see how that's possible. "Our little one loves you with all her heart. Just give her time." I imagine a similar conversation in the future when she's a teenager and I'm wailing that she doesn't love me anymore. I shake my head to clear it.

"I never asked how the fear landscapes went," I say, changing the subject.

"Zeke and Lauren helped Tori and Will monitor the landscapes while Uriah and Christina administered them. There were no surprises, at least I wasn't told about any. It's no mistake that Avery ranked number one. She was far and away the most gifted initiate we had this year, closely followed by Brody. She chose to be a computer programmer."

"I didn't know that she was interested in computers," I say. "How did the other initiates fair?"

"I can't remember all their rankings but Brody chose to work in the control room." This makes me smile. He said he was going to leave Dauntless after initiation was over but something or _someone_ must have changed his mind. "Ana chose to be a computer programmer, too, Afton chose to be a nurse, and Callen and Declan both chose the control room also."

"I think Brody, Callen, and Declan will all be fine additions to Zeke's staff," I say.

"They are," he says. "I know they weren't supposed to start until next week but we needed the help immediately."

"Have they found anything new?" I ask. I have a feeling he's keeping something from me but I don't have a clue as to what it could be. He keeps telling me that my job is to take care of Peanut right now and not to worry about Dauntless but it's hard with two unsolved murders, an ex-initiate breaking into the compound for God knows what, and an unknown subject having access to our apartment.

"Not that I know of," he says.

"Not that you're willing to share with me," I mutter under my breath. He sighs then puts his finger on my chin and lifts it until our eyes meet.

"If something important is found, I'll tell you," he says. "I won't hide anything that could put you or our family in danger or lead to a significant break but I don't think it's necessary to update you on every little insignificant detail that is found right now. You just had a baby three days ago in case you forgot. You need rest. You don't need to be stressing over work." He's right and part of me hates that he is.

"I didn't forget," I say, looking down and caressing Peanut's head as she nurses then returning my eyes to his. "But I don't like being kept in the dark, Tobias. We're better as a team. We both know it. I might be able to help if I knew what was going on at all times." He takes a deep breath then blows it out.

"You're stubborn," he says as he snakes his arm around my shoulder. I very carefully move until I'm leaning up against him.

"You love me and you know it, stubbornness and all."

"Yeah, I do. Very much," he says then he sighs. "We've seen Molly and Drew on tape around the city multiple times with … Olivia."

"The bitch?" I holler making the baby jump and she starts crying. "Sshh. I didn't mean to scare you, Peanut. Mommy's so sorry." I gently sway and bounce her a bit until she calms down then decide it's time to burp her anyway. "Why would those three be together? Do they know each other from Candor?"

"We honestly have no idea," he says. "I had Will call Jack Kang and inquire about a possible familial connection that wasn't as evident as Molly, Drew, and Peter's. He assured Will that there was none. He couldn't say for sure if they knew each other as dependents though but he thought they ran in different circles."

"So that basically leaves one thing they have in common," I sigh. " _Us_." _What are they up to?_

"This is why I didn't want to say anything," he says.

"No secrets. Remember? You promised." He hangs his head.

"You're right, I made you that promise," he says. "But answer me something honestly, love. What do you get out of knowing that Olivia is hanging around with Molly and Drew besides worry and unneeded stress?" I sigh.

"I hate that you're right. All knowing does is make me anxious about whatever the hell they are up to, and I know they're planning something," I say.

"I guess we're both right," he says.

"What are we going to do about it?"

"I held the information about Olivia back because it doesn't help us get any closer to the truth about what Molly's up to," he says. "It only gives us that many more questions." He tightens his embrace on me, and I look up into his eyes. "Can you trust me to tell you what you need to know over the next few weeks, at least until you are back on your feet?" We stare at each other for a few moments. I know he's doing what he thinks is best for me.

"Okay," I nod, "but under one condition"

"Name it," he says.

"When I do get back on my feet, you give me a full accounting of what I missed then include me in meetings and decision making even though I'm on maternity leave. I need to feel like a valued member of Dauntless."

"You have yourself a deal," he says. "And by the way, you _are_ a valued part of Dauntless leadership, every single day. You know that." He presses his lips against my temple and lingers a moment until Peanut starts fussing. "Oh, sorry, baby girl! Mommy got involved in her conversation. I didn't hear you burp."

"Sorry, love, I did," he says. "You know Tessa's going to give the boys a run for their money when she gets older but I think our little Peanut hear is going to be a princess."

"You think she's going to be a girly-girl?" I chuckle. I put her to my other breast, and she continues to nurse almost noiselessly. She really is the polar opposite of Tessa.

"I do," he says. There's a knock on the door and Mom, Dad, Tyler, and Tessa come in the room. Tobias grabs the receiving blanket off the bed, and I cover Peanut and me up but not before Tessa catches a peak and starts crying. Tyler looks up at her, groans, and frowns.

"Come here, little one," Tobias says as he gets up off the bed. He takes Tessa from my dad but she continues to wail at the top of her lungs so he excuses himself and takes her for a walk.

"This is really strange," Mom says, watching them walk out the door. "She hasn't cried once this morning. I didn't think a baby could be jealous but that seems to be the only explanation."

"How are you doing, Beatrice?" Dad asks as he lowers himself onto the couch. "Are you ready to go home?"

"More than ready," I say. "Thank you guys for watching the kids for us the past few days. Four and I had no idea that our date Sunday night would end with this one joining the family so soon." I peak under the blanket when she stop suckling. I try to wake her but she's out so I put her to my shoulder and burp her. This time I hear her. I fix my shirt and zip up my sweater and look at my parents who obviously both want to get their hands on their newest granddaughter. "Do you want to hold her, Dad?" He smiles and comes over and very carefully lifts her out of my arms. He coos at her, and it's the first time in a while that he really looks happy.

"Sit with you?" Tyler asks from right beside me.

"Sure, buddy," I say. "Just remember Mommy's owie though." Mom picks him up and very carefully sits him next to me then sits with Dad on the couch. Tyler sits stick straight and stone still. "Did you have fun with Grandma and Grandpa?"

"Gwampa not home," he says. Dad meets my eyes with an almost guilty expression, and I know something is terribly wrong with the state of my parent's marriage.

"If you two ever need to talk, I'm here for you," is all I say to them. Tobias is right, it's not really my business but I don't want to be blindsided one day with news of a separation or worse. "I heard that Grandma took you to the park yesterday. Did you have a good time?"

"We saw Zane," he says excitedly. "We played and played and played. It was fun. I love Zane."

"I know you do, buddy," I say. "Is he your best friend?"

"Yep." Tobias comes back in the room followed by Isobel who is holding some forms.

"Looks like someone gets to go home," she says. "We already went over your discharge instructions and after-cesarean care this morning but in this folder is a printed instruction list for easy reminder. Do you have any questions about them?" I shake my head no. "In the folder is also a reminder slip for your postpartum appointment that is scheduled for October 17 at 10:30 a.m. in the infirmary at Dauntless and what we will talk about including birth control." I raise my brows at her. Birth control is something I don't want to talk about in front of my parents. She mouths sorry then continues. "There's also a reminder for Teagan's 2-week wellness check on September 19 at 10:30 a.m. in the infirmary. Remember that you can call me any time if you need anything. I consider us good friends, Tris. Are you sure you don't have any questions?"

"None that I can think of," I say. "Four?"

"No," he says. "But I know we won't hesitate to call if we do."

"Well then, I need you both to sign and date here and here. She lays the paper on the tray table and pushes it within my reach. After Tobias and I sign and date where she indicated, then she announces that we're free to go. Tobias hands Tessa to my mom so he can help me out of bed and into the wheelchair Ms. Perky-Pants Nurse just pushed into the room. I seem to dislike her just a little but more each time I see her. Hopefully, this is the last time.

"Dad, would you like to carry Teagan out?" I ask and he nods. "Okay. Mom, will you give me Tessa?" She smiles and lies Tessa in my arms who immediately frowns at me. "Mommy loves you, little one. You need to stop being mad at me. You're making me sad." I kiss her cheek, and she lies her head on my shoulder. I cradle her close while Tobias pushes us to the elevator. "We'll be home soon, and we can snuggle on the couch with your daddy and brother. Unless you have to go to work, Four."

"I'm not going anywhere," he says. "You're stuck with me."

"I think I can handle that," I say with a wink. When we get on the elevator, the zing of electricity is back. I chuckle a bit and his hand lands on my shoulder.

"Thinking about the last time we were in here?" he ask with a chuckle of his own.

"Yeah, but at least I'm not trying to kick you out." We laugh lightly with each other. "I was having a contraction and not being very nice to him," I say when I see the curious look on my parents faces. Of course I won't tell them I was cussing his penis.

"I remember those times," Dad says. "Your mother told me I was no longer welcome in her hospital room and to kindly leave. Of course, that's not exactly how she put it though. There are too many innocent ears in here for me to repeat exactly what she said."

"Andrew!" she says with a blush.

"Remember that, Nat?" he asks. I've never heard him call her that before.

"Like it was yesterday," she says, smiling fondly at him. Maybe things aren't as bad as they seem. Maybe it's just a rough patch like Tobias said. It's obvious that they love each other very deeply. When the elevator opens, Tobias wheels me to the emergency room and parks me near the double doors. I hadn't noticed before that there's a light drizzle coming down.

"I'm going to go get the car," he says. "Would you like to come with me, buddy?" Tyler's eyes light up when his dad asks him to accompany him, and he eagerly nods his head up and down. Tobias turns and looks at me and says, "We'll be right back." He kisses my head then picks Tyler up, and I watch as they walk out the door. I look down at Tessa, and she's gazing up at me from my shoulder where her head is still laying.

"You sure are quiet, little one," I say. She raises her head and gives me a sleepy smile and tears come to my eyes. I kiss her head, and she lays it back down.

"I think she's forgiven you," Dad says.

"Until I have to feed Teagan again," I murmur. I rub her back and within a few seconds she's out like a light. "Mom, is there an extra blanket in the diaper bag?" Dad has one blanket ready to put over Peanut when we go outside but I need one for Tessa also. She digs through it and finds a fluffy pink blanket. She drapes it over Tessa and softly kisses her head.

"There you go," she says.

"I know you don't want to talk about it and it's probably none of my business but I'm worried about you," I quietly say out of earshot of my father. "He's not quite the same since his surgery, is he?"

"I know you worry, dear, and I love you for it but you're right, it's none of your business," she sternly says, which smarts a bit. I only want to know that they are okay.

"Just promise me that if you need help you'll ask for it," I say. "Four and I have been seeing a marriage counselor since what Marcus and Peter did. It helps. I would gladly give you her number." She lightly wraps her arms around me and gives me a hug.

"I love you, Beatrice. You have such a big heart," she says, releasing me. "You've grown into such a smart, beautiful young woman. When you joined Dauntless, I worried it would change you and it has … for the better." She leans over and presses her lips to Tessa's head then my forehead. "You have quite a family. A husband who absolutely adores you, a son who thinks the world of you, and two adorable daughters who love you so much already. I'm so happy for you. You need to be concentrating on them, not on your father and me."

"You're not going to get a divorce are you?" I ask. The thought brings unwanted tears to my eyes, and I quickly wipe them away.

"Your father and I are 100% committed to our marriage," she says.

"What are you two whispering about?" Dad asks as he comes back within earshot.

"I was just telling Beatrice how proud of her I am," Mom quickly says.

"We're both very proud of you," he says. "I thought you were making a terrible mistake being with Tobias. I'm glad I was wrong. He really dotes on you, doesn't he?"

"He keeps telling me it's his job," I say, a warm, sappy smile settling in on my face. "I don't know what I would do without him."

"You'll never have to find out," he says as he walks through the double doors with Tyler at his side carrying a car seat in each hand. He sits them on the bench behind me and carefully takes Tessa from me and buckles her into her seat without waking her. Then he takes Teagan from my dad and puts her in her seat, which makes her look even smaller than she is. "Can you stay with Grandma and Grandpa and the girls for a minute, buddy? I'm going to take Mommy to the car. I'll be right back."

"Okay," he says then Tobias pushes me out the door and to the car, which is just out of the wet weather under the canopy that juts out from the side of the building but the wind makes me shiver.

"It's definitely going to be an early, cold fall," Tobias says as he helps me into the front seat of the car. "I hope it's not wet, too. I'll be right back with the kids." He gives me a quick kiss then goes back into the hospital to get the kids. I lean my head back against the headrest and close my eyes. I breathe deeply trying to relax but the car isn't comfortable enough to let me fall asleep. When the back door opens, I jump then grab my stomach and moan. "Are you alright, love?"

"No," I groan. "I didn't know you were around."

"I'm sorry. I'm going to attach Tessa's car seat, get Tyler buckled in, then attach Peanut's so we can go." I hear him click a car seat into place then close the door. He walks around the front of the car carrying Teagan's seat, and after buckling Tyler into his car seat which is now in the center of the backseat, he clicks the other seat into place. He shakes Dad's hand then gives Mom a hug and a kiss on the cheek and gets into the car.

"Thanks again for watching the kids for us," I say when Mom and Dad come to my window. "We really appreciate it."

"It was my pleasure," Mom says. "I love spending time with them."

"You're welcome to stop by Dauntless and see them at any time," I say.

"I'm sure we'll take you up on the offer soon," Dad says.

"But not too soon," Mom says. "We know you need your rest. We'll let you get going. We know you're anxious to get home. We love you all."

"I love you, too, Mom, Dad," I say. "We'll talk soon." They back away from the car, and Tobias pulls away from the curb while I wave goodbye to my parents.

"Are you ready to get home, love?" Tobias asks.

"Definitely."


	67. Chapter 67

Tobias and I start home from the hospital in comfortable silence. Both girls were already fast asleep when he fastened their car seats into the backseat and within five minutes of taking off, Tyler was out like a light, too. I rest my head on the headrest and close my eyes and listen to the hum of the tires on the pavement. After a few minutes, I lift my eyelids and study Tobias. He must be thinking about something because he doesn't seem to notice my stare. I've never seen him so focused on the road but we do have a backseat filled with precious cargo. His posture is relaxed so whatever is on his mind must not be troubling.

"Can I help you with something?" he asks, not taking his eyes from the road.

"No," I say. "I'm just taking in the scenery." He slides his eyes to mine for an instant before returning them to the road.

"I think you're watching me."

"I think _you_ are the best part of the scenery?" I say. This causes him to smile.

"Mrs. Eaton, are you flirting with me?" he asks.

"Would I do that?" He chuckles.

"I think you are," he says. I reach over and rest my hand on his thigh, and he covers it with his, lacing our fingers together. I sigh contentedly.

"Have I thanked you?" I ask.

"For what?" he asks, confused.

"For everything," I say. "The past three days, the past year. Those three kids in the back seat. You've done things for me that I never dreamed I would have to ask of another person." Heat colors my cheeks.

"I do those things because I love you," he says. "Hell, everything I do is because I love you and those three." I can't fight the yawn that moves through me. "You're exhausted, love."

"Yes, I am," I say, letting my eyes close again. "I think I'll lie down when we get home until Peanut needs me."

"Um." His tone makes me open my eyes.

"Is something wrong?" I ask.

"I didn't think you would be this tired," he says. "Once again, I didn't think."

"What are you talking about?" I ask.

"I have a surprise for you," he slowly says. _Ugh_. Sometimes I hate surprises.

"Please, please, _please_ tell me it isn't an apartment full of people?"

"No, nothing like that," he says. I silently thank God and look at him expectantly. I'm definitely not ready for a whole bunch of company. "I take it you want to know what the surprise is."

"Yes, please."

"Well, our new apartment is ready and completely set up," he says. "I had maintenance working on it around the clock. They moved everything except for our clothes. Christina helped with that. Gunner finished with the mural in the nursery, and I told him that we would wait on the playroom's for right now until things calm down a bit. I hope you don't mind. I wanted us to bring Teagan home to our new home."

"That's amazingly sweet of you," I say, getting choked up. I thought the hormones would balance out once I had the baby but so far they haven't. "I love the surprise. Thank you. I'm sorry I spoiled it. I can't wait to look around the apartment before I lie down."

"I love you, Tris."

"I know," I say, secure in the knowledge that he will love me and only me forever. "I love you, Tobias."

"I know," he says as we pull up in front of the compound. He turns around and looks in the backseat. I see his eyes glide from one child to the next, a look of love on his face, which quickly turns to concern. I reach out and lightly touch his cheek, and he looks my way.

"Something wrong?" I ask.

"Just trying to figure out how to get three sleeping kids into the house," he says.

"There's really no other way, you need to wake Tyler up," I say, hating myself for saying it. "He'll wake up when he sees his new room anyway."

"Do you think he'll like it?" he asks.

"No. I'm sure he'll love it," I say. He leans across the space separating us and gently presses his lips to mine. I reach up and run my fingers across his cheek and into his hair as he kisses me. He soon groans and pulls away, leaving us both breathless. It's going to be a long six weeks.

"Let me help you out of the car, love, then I'll get the kids," he says. He practically lifts me singlehandedly out of my seat and sits me on my feet. I stand on the curb waiting for him to get the kids out of the backseat, which doesn't take him any time at all. Tyler stumbles up to me, rubbing his eyes.

"Did you have a nice nap?" I ask, running my hand through his hair.

"I still sleepy," he mumbles around a yawn.

"We know, buddy, but there just isn't anyone to carry you at the moment," I say. "You need to be our big boy and help Mommy and Daddy out, okay?"

"Otay," he says.

"Can you give me your hand?" I ask. "Mommy needs help getting up the stairs." His sleepy smile brightens and a look of determination crosses his handsome little face. He looks so much like Tobias.

"That's a good boy," Tobias says as he walks up to us carrying a car set in each hand. "I'll get the rest of our things a little later." A passing Dauntless member sees us struggling and after offering his congratulations, first opens the door to the compound and then the door that leads to our apartment for us. We thank him then I very carefully make the journey up the stairs. I imagine I will be spending a lot of time upstairs in our new apartment. Stairs right now are unpleasant. Tyler tightly holds my hand and encourages me with each step I take, making sure I safely get to the top. I would love nothing more than to drag him into my arms and hug him tightly to me then pepper his face with kisses. He's such a good boy. When we reach the landing, Tyler lets go of my hand and runs to our old door and tries to open it for us. Tobias and I look at each other. I'm sure the pride on his face is being reflected back at him from mine. He sits the carriers down by our new apartment door and fishes the key out of his pocket.

"We have a surprise for you, buddy," I say and he stops struggling with the doorknob and turns around. He's obviously confused for a moment but then realization sets in, and a sunny smile breaks out on his face.

"My woom?" he excitedly asks.

"Daddy thought it would be a nice surprise for us to bring Teagan home to our new apartment. Does that make you happy?" He runs towards us and launches himself into Tobias' arms. It surprises him for a split second but then he's doing what I was just wishing I could do mere second ago, holding our son and hugging him tightly. Tyler gives him a kiss then whispers something in his ear. Tobias nods and moves closer to me. Tyler leans over and gives me hugs and kisses then struggles to get down. He's nearly bouncing off the walls with excitement.

Tobias opens the door, and I cross into the sizeable foyer. The built-in mudroom shelving has been painted a nice soft white instead of the sterile eye numbing bright white that it was. I like this much better. There are several wicker baskets on the shelf above the hooks to keep clutter out of sight. The walls are painted the same blue color of our old apartment, and I instantly feel at home. When I look at the French doors that separate this space from the living room, they look different to me.

"I took the liberty of having new doors installed. The other ones didn't close properly," he says noticing my confused look. "The other opened up into the space. These are sliding French doors. They take up less space." I notice the difference now. There used to be a set of solid panel double doors in the center of the wall and now the entire wall consists of a set of large sliding glass doors flanked by windows on either side. I absolutely love them. It lets much-needed natural light into this space. I reach out and slide the door in front of me to the right, and it recesses in front of the window. I thought it would be heavy to move but it's actually very light. I imagine we'll always keep these doors open to invite guests into our home.

We pass from the foyer into the living room, and we all silently take in the space. The light wood wide-plank hand-scraped hardwood floors have all been sanded and stained a darker color. Although I loved the light color, this complements the space and the furniture so much better. The wall of windows have had remote controlled shades installed to keep the glare of the sun out during daylight hours. This is a welcome addition. I would have loved this in the old apartment. The cabinetry that dominates the entire wall to my left has been painted the same soft white that all woodwork throughout the entire apartment has except for the fireplace mantle. It is the same color as the floor. The brick fireplace has also been refaced with a classic marble tile. The shelves are lined with books, movies, and photos of our family. My Ferris wheel ornament takes a prominent place on one of the shelves as does the chasm sculpture. It isn't crowded. As a matter of fact, there is plenty of room for more memories in the future. One picture catches my attention, and I move closer to study it. I don't remember it being taken. I'm lying in the hospital bed with Teagan in my arms. The look on my face is indescribable but it is definitely one of true love.

"When did you take this, Tobias?" I ask, emotion thick in my voice. The frame is flanked by a picture of Tyler and Tessa and one of me and Tobias at our wedding.

"The day she was born," he says. "That's just after I introduced you to our daughter."

"I love it," I say. "Thank you. The furniture looks fantastic in here." Even though it is the same living room set that was in our old apartment, it looks totally different in the space. I think it's because we have a new rug in lighter gray tones that complements the tile on the fireplace. The only new addition is a gray decorative coffee table in front of the couch.

"I think it's great, too," Tobias says. "Look at this, Tyler." He lifts the lid on the coffee table revealing that it's actually a huge toy box. His eyes get wide, and he smiles even brighter, which I didn't think was possible.

"Wow!" is all he says.

"We better keep this tour going," Tobias says picking the girls' seats up and heading around the corner into the kitchen. The far wall catches my attention. Above a soft white credenza with a gray stained wood top is Tobias' chasm picture. It's absolutely perfect right there. When I focus on the kitchen, I'm shocked by what I see. It's totally different. "Do you like it, love?" The cabinets have been painted soft white and the 1 inch tile backslash has been replaced with the same tile on the fireplace in a brick pattern. The black quartz countertop has been replaced with a soft gray one, and the stainless steel sink has been replaced by a large porcelain, what I think is called, farm sink. "You hate it. I'll change it back."

"You will do no such a thing," I say as I walk around the island, taking everything in. I thought I would be exhausted but seeing our new home decked out the way it is has given me a second wind. I'll sleep later. "It's perfect. But why?"

"There was some water damage," he says, "and the old materials were obsolete, so I asked Gunner his opinion. He helped a lot. He's a saint."

"I love everything. Oh, look at our table. It looks better in here than I thought it would." On the other side of the half wall in the dining room is our large farm table which is almost the color of the floor surrounded by upholstered dining room chairs in a medium gray color. On the floor is a dark gray rug that defines the space. It's both rustic and traditional. I can't wait for our first meal as a family at that table.

We walk into the sunroom and are pleasantly surprised by the simplistic warmth of the space. We bought two love seats that match our living room furniture to make sure we didn't overcrowd the room. I walk over to the bookshelf and study the pictures. There is another wedding picture, the one where Tobias is kissing my temple while I have a blissful smile on my face. There's a picture of me holding Tessa just after we brought her home with Tyler leaning up against me, gazing lovingly at his baby sister. There's Mom and Dad and Caleb and Cara at the wedding. There's a picture of me and Christina. I didn't realize tears had started to fall until Tobias gently wipes them away.

"Let's go upstairs," he says. He once again picks up the girls, and we head toward the stairs. They too have been stained the same darker color. When I look up, I gasp. On the wall is a portrait from our wedding of Tobias and me forehead to forehead getting ready to kiss that I've never seen before. We're in silhouette with the brilliant sunset behind us.

"Where did this come from?" I ask, making my feet carry me up the stairs to the first landing. I notice a card, and I take it down and open it. "My house warming gift to you. Gunner."

"This is amazing," he says, studying the piece. "What an awesome picture. I don't remember seeing it before."

"Neither do I," I say.

"Can I see my woom?" Tyler asks, starting to get impatient.

"In a bit. We're going to see Mommy and Daddy's room first," Tobias says. "That's where your sisters will sleep, and I can put them down for their naps instead of carrying them around."

"I help," Tyler says.

"I think you're too little to help but thank you for offering," Tobias says. "That's very nice of you." He beams at his father's praise. Tobias continues up the stairs, and I slowly follow him. He prompts Tyler to open our bedroom door, which he does then he marches into the room. Tobias and I follow him over the threshold. The room is warm, inviting, and romantic. After picking out the new bedroom furniture, we decided on a different color scheme. The floor, just like the entire second floor, has been stained the same darker color as the first floor, and the walls have been painted a soft taupe color that complements the tone of the floor and the furniture.

"I love this bed," I say as I run my hand over the cream-colored quilt on the romantic canopy bed. It's not too feminine but not too masculine either. It really is the perfect blending of our styles. I scan the room and find that I really like the placement of the remaining furniture: two bedside tables, a wooden cradle bassinet, a dresser, a lingerie/jewelry chest, and a wardrobe. It isn't too crowded, it's cozy.

"Ready to see the nursery, love?" Tobias asks.

"Ready to put the girls down?" I chuckle.

"Actually, I am," he says. We walk into the nursery and tears flood my eyes. It's just as I imagined it. On the back wall of the room is a tree painted in white on a soft gray wall. On the limbs lined with pastel pink, blue, green, and yellow patchwork leaves are the cutest little owls I've ever seen including one on a swing. Flying around the tree are little birdies but what I find the cutest are the owls that look like they are perched on the edge of the cribs, which are on either side of the tree.

"This turned out better than I imagined," I say. Tobias gets Tessa out of her car seat and gently lays her in the middle of her crib then gets Teagan out of her carrier and carefully puts her in hers. I pick up the monitor, and we head toward Tyler's rooms.

"Are you ready, buddy?" Tobias asks.

"Yeah!" he excitedly says and there's no mistaking his excitement for anything else. He's been patiently waiting for this for a while. Tobias pushes opens the door, and we all walk in. I quickly scan the room, pleased by what I see then watch Tyler as he takes it all in. His eyes widen until I think they're going to bug out of his head. On the wall to my right is the "No Girls Allowed" sign we bought all those weeks back that gave me the idea for his room. Along the back wall, stretching from the baseboards up and onto the ceiling is a very realistic-looking tree. _Gunner is amazing._ Resting on a wide, huge "branch" is a treehouse that makes up Tyler's bed that has a secret clubhouse loft above a trundle bed so he can have Zane spend the night. Stretching from the treehouse to a play area on the opposite wall complete with a slide and indoor swing is a swinging rope bridge. "This mine?" My eyes meet Tobias'.

"Yes, buddy," he says. "This is all yours. Mommy knows how much you love the park so she made the outside come in for you. Do you like it?" His bottom lip starts quivering as he's overcome with emotion. Tobias helps me sit down in his rocking chair, which I'm so thankful for. I've been on my feet far too long.

"Come here, baby," I say. Tyler walks into my arms, and I hold him the best I can, trying to ignore my discomfort. "Why are you so sad?"

"I not sad," he says. "I happy."

"We're glad you're happy."

"Tobias," I say, "I think Tessa is awake." I point at the monitor I sat down on Tyler's desk that is situated on the wall in front of his bed.

"I'll go get her," he says.

"So you like your room?" I ask.

"Yeah!" he says finally releasing me. I lean back in the chair and try to get comfortable. "I have a slide and a swing. And look at the bwidge. I love my woom. Thank you, Mommy. I love you."

"I'm glad you love your room," I say. "Don't forget that right through that door is your own bathroom. Mommy needs to go lie down on her bed. Is that okay?"

"Yeah. I help you." He reaches his hand out to me, and I manage to get out of the chair without hurting myself or him.

"Thank you very much," I say. "You were a big help." He holds my hand and leads me down the hallway to my bedroom. I look at the time and know that Peanut will want fed soon so instead of lying down, I recline on the mass of pillows. Tobias comes into the room holding Tessa who is all smiles right now.

"I thought I heard you," he says. He sits Tessa on the bed next to me and she smiles at me. "I'll get Peanut. She's starting to fuss."

"Hi, little one. Are you going to let me feed your sister without bawling today?" I ask. Since she grinned at me, I'm hoping that means she will but I'm not going to hold my breath. She shoves her hand in her mouth and starts chewing on it. "Are you hungry?"

"This one is," Tobias says. "I'll give Tessa a bottle."

"No, I want to try something," I say. "If it doesn't work then you can give her a bottle. Tyler, why don't you go see how you like your room?"

"Otay," he says. "Bye, babies." He turns and runs out of the room.

"I love that boy," I say as I watch him disappear. "I need the nursing pillow, please." He gets it for me while I unzip my sweater. I take it off, trying to figure out how to do this. I really should have tried in the hospital with Isobel there to guide me. I decide to take off my tank top and my bra, too. "Can you hand me Tessa?" I situate the pillow while he puts Peanut in the new bassinet. He then picks up Tessa and lies her in my arms. After latching her on, I motion for him to bring me Peanut. He lies her in my other arm, her body lying on Tessa's. I'm just barely able to offer her my other breast but she, too, finally latches on. _Is this going to work?_ They both contentedly nurse, I think unaware of the other one.

"How are they doing?" Tobias asks, a look of awe on his face. "You're doing it."

"It's odd," I say. "Tessa's an experienced eater and Teagan isn't. It feels strange having them nurse at the same time."

"You don't like it?" he asks.

"It's going to take some getting used to," I say. I relax into the pillows as I watch my girls. It really is an amazing sight. I study their faces for similarities and differences. When they are this close I can see it. Tessa looks like her dad and Teagan looks like me. When I first saw my Peanut I thought she looked like her father but maybe that was wishful thinking on my part. I never wanted to pass my gawky looks on to another human being but she's only beautiful. Maybe he's right … maybe I am beautiful. "Can you take Peanut?" Tobias carefully lifts her and pats her back to burp her while I do the same with Tessa. After she burps I have them switch places. It's a little easier the second time getting them in the correct position and latched on.

"My beautiful girls," Tobias says sitting on the bed beside me. He cups my cheek and gently caresses it with his thumb. "I wish there was more I could do so you wouldn't be so tired. I know you are exhausted."

"I'm also hungry," I say. "I imagine Tyler is, too."

"Does anything in particular sound good?" he asks. I know I need to eat healthy for my girls but I'm craving comfort food at the moment.

"Macaroni and cheese," I say, "and I'm sure Tyler would love it, too."

"I'll start it as soon as you finish with the girls," he says.

"Girls," I sigh. "I can't believe we have two girls, Tobias. I'm looking at her, and I still can't believe she's here."

"I know what you mean," he says. He reaches out and gently caresses both Tessa and Teagan's heads. "I didn't know I could be this happy, Tris. It's hard for me to even imagine what it was like before you and the kids came along."

"Don't think about those times, baby," I say. "Even though my first 16 years were nothing at all like yours, looking back I realize they were empty so from this point forward, I choose to no longer look back. We can't change the past. It's our pasts … the good, the bad, and the ugly … that make us who we are today."

"You are wise beyond your years," he says. Teagan is the first to stop nursing. Tobias takes her and after burping her, changes her diaper then puts her in the bassinet. After a few more minutes, Tessa loses interest and I burp her.

"I'm glad you didn't mind nursing at the same time as your sister," I tell Tessa. After giving her a few kisses, I hand her over to Tobias. He changes her diaper then stands over Teagan, staring at her.

"I'm not sure how to pick them both up," he says. "I'm sure it can be done but I don't have a clue as to how."

"You can leave Teagan with me."

"No. I want to give you an hour or so of uninterrupted rest," he says. "I'll be back." He goes out into the hallway and disappears. I'm getting out of bed to use the bathroom when he comes back a couple minutes later. "Do you need help?"

"No, I think I've got this now," I say.

"I'm taking the kids downstairs so you can sleep," he says as I lie back down on the bed. He rearranged the pillows and pulled back the quilt while I was gone. When I get settled in, he pulls the covers up around my shoulders and kisses my head. I just can't keep my eyes open.

My dreams are plagued with disturbing images but the minute I wake up, they all fade into forgetfulness. I will my hammering heart to slow, and it takes a while. I try to remember my dream but there is absolutely nothing there. I slowly roll out of bed holding onto my stomach then get to my feet. I pick my sweater up off the foot of the bed and slip it on and wrap my arms around myself trying to get me warm. I go to the dresser and get out a pair of thick wool socks. When I get to the top of the stairs, I contemplate if this is a good idea. I very carefully take each step until I'm standing below our wedding picture. I decide to study it as I rest. It's a simple pose full of love and new beginnings. I remember Tobias kissing me just after this portrait was snapped. I lift my fingers to my lips. It's almost like I can feel his mouth moving with mine.

"Tobias?" I call out as I take another step. Before my foot lands on the next tread, he is before me.

"What are you doing out of bed?" he asks as he helps me down the remaining steps.

"Bad dreams."

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks.

"I don't remember," I say. "I just know I woke up with my heart racing. Hey, will you put these on me? My feet are freezing." I hand him the socks as we walk into the living room. _Cars_ is playing on the TV, and I'm not sure if Tyler knows I'm around or not. Tobias helps me sit in the club chair then sits on the ottoman and puts the socks on my feet after rubbing them between his warm hands for a moment. "Thank you. Is supper close to being ready? Pea … I'm starving." A chuckle escapes my lips, and he gives me a quizzical look. "For months I've blamed getting hungry on Peanut. I don't have that excuse anymore. Where is my little Peanut anyway?"

"In her bassinet," he says. I look around and finally see the bassinet in the corner by the credenza out of everyone's way.

"I see her and where's our little one?"

"So Tessa is ours but Teagan is yours?" Tobias says with a mischievous smile.

"They're both ours. All three of them actually," I say. We both look at Tyler but he's oblivious. "So where's Tessa?" I suddenly see the top of her head poke up above the toy box but I can't see her eyes. "There she is." Tobias picks her up and carefully puts her in my arms.

"I sat her up but she kept falling over so I finally left her on her tummy," he says as he sits down on the end of the couch close to me. "Supper still has about half-an-hour."

"I've read about older children regressing slightly when an infant is brought home but I refuse to believe that to be true of Tessa. She must just be having an off day but then again, she is our super baby." I cuddle her and she lets me. I imagine she's getting tired but she doesn't close her eyes. She just watches me carefully. "Have you been feeling left out? I never want that to happen, little one. I promise to try my best to feed both you and your sister as much as I can now that I know I can do it. Sometimes Mommy and Daddy forget that you are just a little baby, too, because you've been growing into such a big girl." She smiles at me then starts babbling. "Is that right, little one?"

Tobias gets up and goes to the kitchen when the timer goes off indicating the macaroni and cheese is done. After discussing it, we decide to postpone our first family supper at the dinner table until I'm feeling better. We let Tyler kneel behind the coffee table toy box and eat his mac and cheese while I stay in the club chair and Tobias eats on the couch. Tessa sits on the floor chewing on her purple butterfly with her eyes on me.

"You're too little for a bite," I say as her stare intensifies. When I finish, I have Tobias give me Peanut who started fussing before I finished my meal. I look at the clock and know that she's hungry again. She may be little but she has a big appetite. At this rate, she'll be the same size as Tessa in no time. Tobias picks up Tessa and plays with her while I feed Peanut. He keeps her back to me so she won't cry. After her final burp, Tobias puts Tessa in my arms. "This is Teagan. She's your sister." Tessa stares intently at the little pink bundle lying contentedly in my arm. I get nervous when she reaches over and touches her face but she swipes her hand back when Peanut moves. I kiss her head and she lays her head against my chest and stares at her baby sister.

"That's quite a sight," Tobias says. "You're very content right now, aren't you love?"

"I wondered what our first day home would be like," I say, first looking at Tyler and then Tessa and Teagan. "I didn't know it would be this wonderful."

"You should be in bed," he says.

"I know I should rest but I just want to stay like this with my girl in my arms," I say. "I'm very comfortable right now."

"I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to do, love," he says. "Let me know when you're ready to go back upstairs, and I'll help you."

"Thanks," I say. I hold my girls tightly until we all three fall asleep. I only wake up when I feel Tobias lifting Tessa off my chest.

"Hi," he says. "I'm sorry I woke you." I look around and see that the sun has gone down. "Tyler's already in bed asleep. He's had an exciting day. Teagan's in her bassinet upstairs and I was just getting ready to put Tessa to bed. I'll be back down to help you, okay?"

"Okay," I murmur. I close my eyes again, surrendering to the fatigue and the next thing I know, I grunt when Tobias lifts me out of the chair. "I can walk."

"I've got you, love." He moves swiftly but carefully up the stairs, and I'm surprised there isn't more pain. Actually, using the stairs is worse than being carried. When he reaches our room, he starts to put me in bed but I tell him I need the bathroom so we make a detour. When I'm finishes, he helps me into a pair of baggy sleep pants and a tank top so I can nurse Teagan throughout the night. He helps me sit on the side of the bed and lifts my legs up and gently places them on the mattress. He's really good at helping me.

"Will you lie down with me?" I ask.

"As soon as I change Tessa's diaper," he says, sliding the quilt up my body. He kisses my head then disappears into the nursery. A few minutes later, he slides into bed beside me. I inch closer to him and he wraps his arms around me. He gives me a soft kiss and I sigh.

"This is nice," I say. "It seems like a long time since you just held me." He kisses my forehead and runs his fingers through my hair.

"Yeah, it is," he says. "How are you doing?"

"If I'm being honest, I'm overwhelmed and in pain," I say.

"I always want you to be honest with me," he says. "Just remember, our children aren't your responsibility alone. I'm staying home with you until you don't need my help getting around anymore then I'll take Tyler and Tessa to daycare while I go to work. How does that sound?"

"It sounds like heaven but I think you should go back to work tomorrow," I say.

"Can I ask you why?"

"Dauntless needs you," I say.

"My family needs me more, love," he says.

"I won't argue with you because one, I know it won't do any good and two, I want you home with me for a while."

"Thanks for not arguing with me," he says. "May I kiss you, love?"

"Of course, you can," I say. He tips my chin back and gently touches his lips to mine. The kiss is sweet, soft, tender. Before it can deepen, he moves his mouth from mine and kisses my forehead. I hear his barely inaudible groan. "You know we both don't have to be frustrated for six weeks." I put my hand on his chest and start to slide it down but he captures it in his.

"If you're frustrated, then so am I," he says, kissing my palm.

"I love you," I say around a yawn.

"Sleep, love," he says. I take his advice but the minute I close my eyes, Peanut starts fussing. Tobias gets out of bed and gently picks her up while I sit up then he puts her in my arms so I can nurse her. "It's going to be a long night, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I think it is," I say. "You know, Tessa didn't eat as often as Peanut does when she was a newborn so I'm not getting the rest I did then."

"I'm going to check on Tessa," he says. "She's going to want fed soon, too." He comes back carrying our little one who is sucking on her fist. I adjust Peanut and nurse them both. "I have to say, this is a real timesaver."

"You sound amazed."

"I won't lie. I am," he says. "Every time I see you doing this." He kisses my bare shoulder, and I lean against him. We watch the girls until they both finish then he puts Tessa back in her crib, and I get up and put Teagan in the bassinet. Tobias comes back into our room, and he puts his arm around me. After gazing at our daughter for a couple minutes, he steers me toward the bed and helps me in. Once he settles in next to me, I relax and succumb to the exhaustion.


	68. Chapter 68

Peanut's soft mewling draws me from my nap, and I stumble out of bed and stagger over to her bassinet. I learned something very valuable shortly after we brought her home from the hospital, I sleep when she does during the day so that I can be coherent in the evening when Tobias, Tyler, and Tessa are home. I tried to nap a couple times a day at first but then I was exhausted all the time. I actually feel more like my old self with this schedule.

"Are you hungry again so soon, Peanut?" I ask her as I carefully lift her into my arms and kiss her forehead. I expect her to calm down some but she doesn't. I glance at the clock on my bedside table and see that it's too early. Instead of wanting nursed every two hours like clockwork, it's now every two-and-a-half hours during the day and closer to three hours at night, and she looks like it. My tiny girl isn't so tiny anymore. She's gained 1 pound 6 ounces since she was born and now weighs in at a whopping 6½ pounds but I swear she isn't any taller, maybe ½ an inch at the most. Tobias and I think she's going to be short like her mommy but who knows, maybe one day she'll have a growth spurt. I carry her into the nursery and gently lay her on the changing table then unswaddle her from the lightweight blanket. "Whew! Now I know what woke you. I can smell it, you little stinker." I quickly change her dirty diaper then lovingly gaze down at her. She seems very content to be able to stretch her little arms and legs out right now so I decide to forgo the swaddle.

"Your mommy is very hungry, Peanut," I say after my stomach growls loudly. I haven't eaten anything since breakfast early this morning. "What do you say I make myself some lunch then you and I can lounge around on the roof and get some much-needed fresh air?" I grab the hands-free sling carrier from the changing table drawer. I swear that it's become my new best friend. I can never thank Christina enough for introducing me to it. It's very handy. It enables me to keep the baby close so we can bond but have my hands free to do other things. It's made my life so much easier, and I'm confident that she loves it just as much as I do. She's very content when I keep her close and has the tendency to whine if she's in the bassinet too long.

I put the stretchy black material across my body then pick Peanut back up, kiss her cheek, and carefully position her against my chest with her head resting on my breast. Once she's situated, I head downstairs. What a difference a month has made. I'm not up for running a marathon or taking on a competitor in the training room but I can get in and out of bed or a chair on my own, maneuver a flight of stairs without experiencing agonizing pain with every single step, and bend over without feeling like my insides are going to spill out of my incision all over the floor.

I make myself a hot turkey sandwich with herb mashed potatoes and gravy, cranberry-orange relish, cheesy green bean casserole, and apple walnut salad, which were leftovers from Sunday's dinner Tobias made while my parents visited us. It's the first time I saw them since I left the hospital. They both were very happy to see the kids and, of course, doted on them. They were cordial with Tobias and me but I could feel the tension between them. It was very hard to sit back and let it happen without demanding an explanation but I honored my mother's wishes and backed off … for now but it really pained me to see them that way. I wish she would just talk to me and tell me what's going on. It's frustrating to know that they love each other very much and have to go through this on their own.

I carry the plate full of hot food and a bottle of icy water up to our rooftop deck and sit down at our new family-size rattan and glass table that sits beneath the sizeable trellis off the large glass-walled room. The unseasonably cool weather that plagued the city a month ago has disappeared, turning into a beautiful, very mild fall. The warm breeze lifts my hair across my face and into my mouth so I gather it in a low ponytail at the nape of my neck and secure it with the colorful elastic band I put in my pocket this morning. I dig in to the scrumptious lunch sitting before me and silently give thanks that my husband is such a wonderful cook. Periodically, throughout the meal, I check on Peanut but she's dozing peacefully. After I finish, I push my plate away from me with a sigh and slip out of my shoes. I lift my feet up onto the chair next to me and stare out at the city skyline.

The past month has truly been the best in my life. I couldn't have asked for anything more. Yes, I may have been sleep deprived, stressed beyond belief, and even cranky at times but I wouldn't trade one second for anything else in this world. Some people wish on falling stars for money, power, or material things but not me. I already have it all. Tobias stayed home with me for an additional week after we brought Teagan home. He did everything for me; he pampered me, _spoiled_ me. He wouldn't let me lift a finger. I have to admit, it was nice. The only thing I was allowed to do was feed our girls. _Our girls._ That statement still awes me. Peanut is a full month old today, and I still have five days until my actual due date arrives. She shouldn't be here yet but she is, and she's perfect in every way. Tyler loves his baby sister and fawns over her every chance he gets. His only complaint is she sleeps too much. I guess he thinks she's boring. But I think he loves his new room even more. When he comes home from daycare, the first thing he does is say hi to Peanut and Tessa then he goes straight to his room to play on his slide and swing. We even let him invite Zane over one afternoon. Tobias brought the kids home early and supervised them. I'm glad that he loves it so much but I miss him wanting to spend time with his father and me. I know it sounds crazy but I think I'm jealous of the room I had built for him. Tessa on the other hand still doesn't know what to make of her baby sister but, thankfully, she no longer cries when I nurse her. She only intently stares at me wondering why I'm doing what I'm doing. I make a point of holding them at the same time most evenings, trying to let them get better acquainted with each other. I think it's working. One night last week they fell asleep holding hands. It was the most precious sight. I had Tobias get the camera and snap a photo. I put it in a frame in the living room.

Dauntless has thankfully been quiet the past month. There have been no new break-ins in our old apartment or the compound for that matter. When Tobias came home to pick up the things I needed for in the hospital the day Peanut was born, he quickly checked the hidden camera to see if anyone was caught going into our apartment while we were gone. No one was. He decided to leave the tissue holder right where it was until it was moved into our new apartment. Now it sits on one of the shelves that flank the fireplace, facing the entryway, and Tobias installed a discrete camera in our old apartment to catch any break-ins. I must have scared whoever it was off that day because they've never returned.

Tobias, Tori, and Will authorized real life and digital surveillance of Molly, Drew, and the bitch. Their movements are being monitored around the clock. Zeke put James and Nathan in charge of the digital investigation and after discussing it with Shauna, two relatively normal-looking, unassuming Dauntless patrol members named Mike and Nick where placed undercover in the factionless sector while two others, Josh and Matt, where assigned to covertly follow the trio around and report back nightly. So far nothing of value has been discovered. I think they're biding their time, although what they are planning, I don't know.

Peanut starts fussing so I release my breast from the nursing shirt I'm wearing, and she latches on with minimal effort. It only took her a handful of feedings before she was nursing like it was second nature. I sit back, soaking in the sun that's coming through the slats of the trellis. It's so nice sitting outside. I haven't felt a breeze on my face since we walked into the compound the day we brought her home. I made the right decision to come up here. I've been cooped up for so long that I'm starting to get restless. I even missed the Dauntless Welcome party not that I minded terribly much. I did sit in Christina's apartment that day with Teagan cuddled close to my chest in the sling and watched all my friends get ready for the party and caught up on gossip and Dauntless news. The girls all fought over who got to hold Peanut and when. Christina was so busy with everyone's makeovers that she didn't get a chance to hold her but she's made up for it since. I swear she's already planning Liam and Teagan's wedding.

"There you are," Tobias gruffly says as he steps out onto the deck from the sunroom. "I've been looking everywhere for you. I've been worried sick."

"I'm sorry," I say, wondering why he's overreacting. "Peanut and I felt like getting some fresh air."

"It would have been nice if you had this," he says putting my phone on the table and sliding it in front of me. "I was worried sick."

"You said that already," I slowly say. I carefully move my feet from the chair, and he collapses into it. "Baby, what's wrong? I know you're not this upset with me because I decided to have lunch on our deck and accidentally left my phone by the bed. Talk to me." He's silent for a while, staring off into the distance.

"Someone broke into my office, Tris," he finally says. "Whoever it was was looking for something because they wrecked the place, although I have no idea what it was."

"Oh, no," I gasp.

"I guess I let my imagination run away with me when I couldn't get ahold of you," he says. "I thought our uninvited guest came back and you or Peanut were hurt."

"We're both fine. I didn't mean to scare you," I say as I lean forward and rest my hand on his knee. "I guess I was hoping that all this drama was behind us. This may be terrible to say but I'd trade knowing who killed Sam and Harrison to have the peace and quiet we've had in Dauntless the past month continue and have everyone just leave us alone."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to jump down your throat when I came out here," he says as he takes a deep, cleansing breath while he runs a hand through his hair causing it to stand on end.

"I know what will make you feel better," I say. Peanut just stopped suckling so I take her out of the sling and hand her to her daddy. A brilliant smile spreads across his handsome face, and he relaxes into the chair cushion.

"Thank you, love," he says as he puts her up to his shoulder and pats her back. "This is just what I needed."

"Can I get you something to eat?" I ask as I fix my shirt.

"No, but thanks anyway. Shauna and I grabbed a quick bite to eat earlier in Candor," he says. "I had planned to pick Tyler and Tessa up early so we could spend the afternoon together but now I have to go through my office and try to figure out what was taken … if anything. I haven't even called Zeke to have him check the surveillance feed to see who broke in yet. I should really get going. I have a lot to do."

"I'll come with you," I say.

"No," he says. "You need to be resting."

"Tobias, you need help. I can go through files. It isn't strenuous. Peanut will just go to sleep the minute she's done eating anyway. I'm not doing anything else, so I'm coming with you."

"That really isn't necessary," he says. I sigh.

"Can I make a confession?" I ask.

"Of course," he says, handing me Peanut after she burps. I put her back in the sling and to my other breast, and she continues to nurse.

"I love you."

"I know," he says with a soft smile.

"You didn't let me finish," I scold. He puts both hands out in front of him as if to say he's sorry and motions me to continue. "I love you. I love our kids. I love our life, more than anything. There are only two things that could have made the past month better. One, you and me," I motion between us, "we would have been having a lot of sex." I take him by surprise, and he blushes as he laughs. "And two, I would have been working. I feel more like myself when I'm working." He leans up and takes my hands in his.

"I understand how important your job is to you," he says. "I would never hate you for missing it. As a matter of fact, I admire you for your work ethic."

"I hear a but coming."

" _But,"_ he draws it out, emphasizing it, "don't you think it's too soon? You just had major surgery one month ago today. Happy birthday, Peanut. I really think you should wait."

"I'm coming, Tobias," I emphatically say much louder than I intend causing Peanut to jump although she doesn't stop nursing.

"Not exactly the context I want to hear you screaming that." This time it's my turn to blush.

" _Tobias!_ "

"Fine, you can come along," he mutters. He gets out of the chair, holds his hand out to me, and helps me to my feet. I slip back into my shoes then he leads me down the stairs. He picks up the diaper bag we keep in the entry way for just this type of situation then opens our front door and ushers me through. I haven't been beyond this hallway in over a month so a strange giddiness starts pumping through my veins as I head downstairs but it quickly dissipates the moment I see the mess that used to be Tobias' pristine office.

"So you have no idea what they were looking for," I say as I straighten our wedding picture that hangs on the wall. "Why would they have moved this?"

"I wish I could answer your questions," he sighs, looking around at the chaos.

"Whoa!" Zeke says from the open doorway. "What the hell happened here?" When I hear our friend, I turn my back to him and make sure that I'm covered but that Peanut can still easily breathe.

"Can you close the door?" Tobias asks. After fixing the cushions on the couch, I sit down.

"Hey, Tris," he says. "How are you?"

"Up until a few minutes ago, I was great," I say. "Now I'm worried about this." I wave my arms, indicating the mess. "What if Four was here when the intruder broke in?" I shudder at the thought of someone hurting him.

"I'll pull the security camera footage from this morning when I get back to the control room," Zeke says. "I imagine it won't show us anything more than the other break-ins did."

"Other break-ins?" I ask. I see Tobias out of the corner of my eye shaking his head but Zeke doesn't see it.

"Yeah, your place, Harrison's office …" I don't know whose face causes his voice to fade away but one of ours does.

"Harrison's office was broken into?" I ask, stunned. My eyes slide to Tobias'. "When did this happen?"

"Um, I'll go check that footage now," Zeke says then turns on his heels and hurries out the door. I glare at my husband. I'm sure he thought he was protecting me but now I'm wondering what else he's kept from me.

"Explain," I say. He sits down in his chair and nervously runs a hand through his unruly hair.

"I didn't think you needed to be bothered with any of this while you were on maternity leave."

"Save your excuses, Tobias Eaton," I angrily say. I pop up from the couch and start pacing, fighting a strong desire to walk out the door. _Why is that my first reaction?_ "When was Harrison's office broken into?"

"The night of our date," he finally says. Something finally clicks into place that has bothered me for an entire month.

"That's why Zander was at the hospital that morning, wasn't it?" I ask. "He wasn't there for me and the baby. He was there to give you the news in person. Why didn't you just tell me?" I stop pacing and look him in the eye. "I'm … _very_ … angry right now. I think it's best I go home and cool off."

"Don't you dare walk out that door, Beatrice," he gruffly says when I turn my back on him. I continue a few steps and rest my hand on the knob.

"Tell me why I shouldn't go home," I forcefully say. "You've been lying to me for the past month." I shake my head, frustrated. "I thought it was the best month of my life but you've been hiding things from me this entire time. We promised each other, no more secrets." Frustrated tears gather in my eyes, and I roughly wipe them away. "You broke that promise."

"We made a deal," he evenly says, fighting turning into Four like he always does during a confrontation. I slowly turn around and look up at him.

"I remember. You _promised_ you would tell me everything that went on when I got back on my feet. I've been taking care of our baby by myself for over eight hours a day for the past two-and-a-half weeks. I believe that is the very definition of back on my feet. _That's_ when you should have told me what's been going on. Instead I'm in some fantasy believing everything is just peachy. I shouldn't have heard about it accidentally from Zeke. You tell me over and over that I'm strong, that I can handle anything, then you treat me like this, Tobias. All of a sudden, I'm exhausted. I'm taking Peanut home and we're going to take a nap. I'll see you later."

"Don't go," he says from right behind me as I open the door. He puts his large hand on the center of the door just above my head and pushes it shut. "You're right. I should have given you the update we agreed upon by now." He puts his hands on my shoulders and spins me so that I'm facing him. "My first instinct is to protect you from all the bad in the city, in the world. I think you know this. Come on. Sit down with me. I can tell you weren't exaggerating when you said you were exhausted." He leads me to the couch where I stiffly sit beside him. Peanut fusses a bit so I burp her but that doesn't help so I check her diaper but it's dry so I gently sway her, and she finally falls to sleep. "You're a wonderful mother. You're so good with her."

"I'm not going to let your compliments side track me from the issues at hand," I say and he sighs. "I expect an explanation."

"That's not what I was doing, love." He gets up and nervously paces before me ignoring the ruffle of paper and crunch of glass beneath his boots. "Zander told me about the office break-in while you were in surgery. At that time I was only told Harrison's office was ransacked by an unknown subject. I didn't tell you because you had just had the baby. You … no _we_ were overwhelmed by the previous 24 hours. I thought it could wait. Tori and Will cleaned up the mess and did an inventory but didn't find that anything was missing. Unfortunately, Tori never went through his office before it was broken into like I asked her to so if something of value was taken we have no idea what it was. Later, I found out a person dressed head to toe in black was the one who broke in. Zeke's analysis says that it's more than likely the same person that's on video meeting with Molly and breaking into our old apartment." He takes a deep breath then continues.

"Our apartment isn't the only one that's been broken into. So has Tori and Harrison's. Tori didn't notice any sign of anyone being in her apartment and only found out when the person was seen on video going in and out multiple times. But Harrison's apartment was ransacked also. I'm sure you remember me assigning Simon and Tony to clean it out." I nod. It was the same day Tori was supposed to clean out his office. "When they went back the next day to finish up, the place had been tossed."

"So someone is looking for something," I say. "They thought Harrison had it but he obviously didn't and now they're targeting you." Fear bubbles up and I push it down. I will not think about someone hurting him.

"I hadn't thought of it that way," he says.

"See! There. What you just said. _That_ is why you need to keep me informed," I say. "The connection between the break-ins is pretty obvious, Tobias." I sigh. "Anything else?" He stops pacing.

"No, there is nothing else," he says. _Do I believe him?_ "You don't believe me."

"I want to believe you," I say. "You know how I feel about being kept in the dark. It's so frustrating. I'm your number two, right?"

"You are on maternity leave."

" _Right_?"

"Yes," he stiffly says.

"Then I deserve to know. I can't be so fragile that I need you to protect me and the strongest person you know at the same time. It doesn't work that way." He sits back down next to me.

"I'm not sure that either of us will ever clearly see the other side of this argument," he says. "I thought I was doing the right thing."

"You thought giving me a false sense of security was okay?" I ask. "That's not right, Tobias."

"You're really angry with me," he says, looking like a lost boy. "I'm not used to this."

"I don't like being angry with you," I say. "It's unsettling. I wish we could always be blissfully happy but I know that's impossible. We'll have our fights. We'll get mad at each other. Hell, life will happen. I just wish you would respect my wishes. It would make things so much easier."

"You want me to tell you everything, all the time," he says.

"If it directly impacts our family in any way, definitely," I say. "And if you tell Tori and Will about something that pertains to Dauntless, I think I should hear it, too. And that doesn't mean you stop telling them things as a way to get out of telling me."

"You really think I would do that?" he asks, obviously hurt.

"I don't know," I sigh. "I don't want to fight anymore. I'm going to go home now and rest for a while." I give him a soft, quick peck on the cheek then get up off the couch, being careful not to jostle Peanut too much. "I'll see you later." This time he lets me leave. As I'm opening the door to go up to our apartment, I hear something shatter against his office door. I rush back but stop myself from going in when I hear him. He's angry, too, and we both need time to cool down.


	69. Chapter 69

I look over my shoulder at Tobias' closed office door and suddenly feel very empty. How could this day turn so drastically? I know I should go back in there and work this mess out with him but I'm exhausted emotionally as well as physically right now. I absolutely hate it when we argue but I hate being in the dark even more. I turn the doorknob I didn't even realize my hand was resting on and go into the stairwell that leads to our apartment. I slowly drag each foot up one step at a time like I'm in no hurry when all I really want to do is sprint up the stairs, lie down on my big comfortable bed, and cry my eyes out.

Peanut starts whining before we get home but she doesn't fully wake up. I sway and shush her, and she quiets down. More than likely she has a wet diaper and is letting me know. I pick up the pace and quickly make my way to our apartment and up to the nursery. I carefully take her out of the sling and lay her on the changing table. While I take the carrier off and put it away, she wakes and really starts crying … loudly. I check her diaper, which is wet just like I thought it would be. I take her onsie and diaper off and carry her into the bathroom.

I swear it alone is the size of our old bedroom, and it was not a small room. Sometimes I feel guilty for living in such a palace. It seems selfish for one person to have so much. Tobias would tell me my Abnegation is showing if I were to tell him that. Apparently there was some water damage in here also so it was remodeled with the same materials as the fireplace and kitchen. I have to admit, it's gorgeous. I get her little tub out of the large linen closet in the corner by our massive his and hers walk-in closets and set it on the large counter in between the two sinks. Then I get her baby wash and shampoo out of the cupboard closest to the sizeable walk-in shower where we keep our essentials and turn the faucet on and get it to the right temperature. I dip up some water in the little plastic pail and pour it in the tub to warm up the cold plastic then carefully lay her in it. She keeps her eyes on me while I carefully wash and rinse her wispy curls, softly cooing the entire time.

"You love your baths just as much as your brother and sister do, don't you, Peanut?" I ask as I gently wash her body with a soft cloth. She looks up at me, her wide blue eyes staring intently. "Do you know how much your mommy loves you? To the moon and back. You are one of the best things that ever happened to me." I grab her cute, fuzzy pink towel with the owl hood off the top glass shelf in the center console when I finish and spread it across a dry section of countertop on the other side of the tub. I carefully pick her up, lay her on the towel, dry her off, and then wrap her up nice and snuggly before she catches a chill. "Let's get a diaper back on you, baby girl." I carry her into the nursery and put her in a fresh, dry diaper and a clean pink onesie scrawled across the front in black with "My Daddy's Crazy in Love with Me" and a pair of lightweight black pants. "Do you want to take a nap with Mommy?" I carry her into my bedroom and lie her down in the middle of my soft quilt then climb into bed and lie down beside her. She turns her head and continues to stare. "You seem very content right now, my sweet baby girl." I stroke her damp, barely there hair. She softly coos then does something she's never done before, she smiles at me. It's like my frozen heart receives a thawing blast of radiant heat with that little grin. "Did you just smile at your mommy?"

"She smiled?" Tobias asks from our open doorway. I'm so glad he's home. I love sharing her firsts with him.

"Yeah," I softly say. He kicks off his shoes and climbs up on the bed, lying down on the other side of our little Peanut.

"I'm sorry, love," he says, reaching over and tucking a lock of hair that escaped my ponytail behind my ear.

"I'm sorry, too," I say.

"You're right. You deserve the same consideration I give to Tori and Will when it comes to Dauntless business. The problem is when I look at them, I see colleagues, friends so it's easy to treat them as such but when I look at you, I only see my wife, the woman I love. I just can't treat you like everyone else. My first instinct is to protect you from all the … _shit_ that rains down on us. I swear I'm not intentionally dismissing your feelings, Tris. I would never do that. You know that."

"I'm tired of this same argument, Tobias," I say. "I'm sure you are, too."

"I definitely am," he says. I reach out and lovingly caress his face. "Is there a solution?"

"Please _try_ to consider what I want in the future before you protect me," I say. "That's all I'm asking."

"I can't make any guarantees," he says. "But I promise that I'll try." We lean across our daughter and share a tender kiss. "So our Peanut smiled at her Mommy."

"She sure did," I excitedly say. "I just gave her a bath and we were lying down looking at each other and from out of nowhere she smiled. Can you smile at your daddy, Teagan Grace?" Instead of smiling again her tired eyes flutter shut, and she falls asleep. Tobias gets out of bed, gently picks her up, and then puts her in the bassinet. He slides back into bed beside me after asking permission with his eyes.

"How are you feeling, love?" he asks when he has me in his arms. It feels so good to be this close.

"I'm exhausted. It feels like it's been a long day already," I say. "How do you do it? I know you must be just as tired as I am but you never look it." I know I must be pouting. "I'm a mess."

"You're beautiful," he says, kissing the tip of my nose.

"You're crazy," I say. "I'm an absolute mess."

"Love, you are exquisite." I chuckle and roll my eyes at his absurdity.

"There are dark circles beneath my eyes from lack of sleep. I haven't styled my hair or used any makeup in a month. I can't fit into any of my clothes. I'm frumpy and cranky."

"Do you want to know what I see?" he asks. "I see a fresh faced beauty who is doing a wonderful job not only taking care of our little Peanut but our other two children as well." He moves closer and presses his body to mine and tangles his legs with mine. He slowly glides his hand up to my thigh where it lingers for a moment before he moves his fingertips across my hip then to my back. It's the first time since Peanut was born that he has touched me like a lover instead of a mother, and I shudder with desire. "As for your body, I haven't noticed many differences." He runs his hand up into my hair, skimming my heavy breast along the way. "Your breasts are fuller but you are sustaining two precious little girls so that stands to reason." He places his lips on my neck and kisses his way to my mouth. My lips part when I sigh, and he slips his tongue inside. _Oh God, how I've missed this._ I press my body as close to his as I can, and we let our hands roam while our tongues tangle. "You're curvier, softer," he pants as he kisses his way back to my neck. He slowly moves us until he is lying on top of me but not giving me his weight. He pulls back a little and looks down at me. "I'm not hurting you am I?"

"No," I say, reaching up and caressing his face. "I want to feel you on me."

"Uh, Tris, I don't think that's a good idea," he says, shaking his head.

"Please," I plead. "I'll tell you if you're hurting me." I grab his head and pull his mouth back to mine. After a couple minutes, he relaxes and I finally feel the weight I've craved for months. I quickly check for any discomfort and don't find any. Our kiss deepens and suddenly he flips us so that I'm lying on top of him. He runs his hands from my shoulders to my behind and back several times while our lips and tongues aggressively move together. I tangle my fingers in his hair, keeping his mouth on mine then let my legs fall on either side of his hips. I feel his throbbing desire beneath me, and I moan into his open mouth.

"God, I've missed you, love, missed this but I think we need to stop before I can't." Even though the last thing I want to do is stop, I know he's right.

"You're right," I say as he rolls us back onto our sides but we don't part. I rest my head against his chest and listen as his racing heart calms.

"I hate wishing our lives away but I really can't wait until Isobel gives us the go ahead. I'm going to lock you in this bedroom for hours, maybe days." I can't help but giggle. He's thinking the exact same thing I am.

"I'm looking forward to it," I say. "I know we only have less than two weeks before my appointment but why do I think it's going to feel like forever?"

"I think I know," he says, playing with my hair, which he freed from the ponytail holder while we were rolling around on the bed. "Remember when we hadn't even made love yet and you fell off the path." A shudder moves through him into me at the disturbing memory. "One of Zander's last instructions was no sex. We were getting closer at the time but the minute we were told we couldn't do it, that's all we could think about and all we wanted to do. Well, it's all I could think about."

"Me, too," I say, pressing my lips to his.

"We just don't do so well at being told we have to wait," he says. He cups my face between his big but gentle hands and brings his mouth to mine. We move our lips together slowly until he slips his tongue into my mouth then another jolt of desire shoots through my body from deep in my belly outward. I move a hand down between our bodies and start caressing him through the rough material of his jeans. He growls … loudly and pulls his mouth from mine. "No."

"I could make you feel better," I pant. He takes a deep breath and holds it a few seconds before it rushes out and across my face. He's torn.

"I think it's pretty damn obvious that we want each other right now," he says. "But you can't make love so that means I can't either. We'll just have to be satisfied with making out."

"I think I can handle that," I say as we wrap our arms around each other. I snuggle against him, suddenly very tired. "I'll understand if you need to go back to your office."

"I'm not going anywhere. Work can wait. It will always come second to us," he says. "Avery and Callen are going to pick up Tyler and Tessa from daycare for us."

"That's nice of them," I say not moving an inch. "This is nice, just you and me like this. Maybe we could take a nap. I'm pretty tired."

"Well you do have a new baby at home," he chuckles.

" _We_ do," I say.

"Yeah, we do," he says. "She looks just like her beautiful mother."

"I still see us both," I mumble against his chest. Once the desire leaves my body, I can't keep my eyes open. We doze off and on until the doorbell wakes us all up. Tobias jumps out of bed and hurries downstairs while I get up to comfort Peanut. I pick her up, and she quiets down but doesn't stop fussing.

"Is it super time, my sweet baby girl?" I ask. I take her into the nursery and change her diaper then go downstairs to see if Tessa's hungry, too.

"Hi, Tris," Avery says when I round the corner into the living room. She and Callen are sitting on our couch.

"Hi, Avery, Callen," I say. "Hi, buddy."

"Hi, Mommy," Tyler brightly says from Avery's lap. "Can I see my sissy?"

"She's getting hungry," I say. "She might be grumpy."

"That otay," he says, getting off her lap. I take Peanut's blanket and hand it to Tyler who spreads it on the floor. I carefully lie her on her tummy on the blanket and Tyler lies down next to her and talks to her. I tuck my legs underneath me in the club chair and Tobias puts Tessa in my lap.

"Ma ma ma ma ma ma."

"Hi, little one," I say, kissing her head.

"Tessa's starting to talk?" Avery asks, shocked.

"Oh, she's just jabbering," I say. "How are your jobs coming along, guys? It seems like so long since I've seen you." They brought a pink blanket over after we got home from the hospital but we haven't seen them since.

"I love the control room," Callen excitedly says. "It's everything I thought it would be, and as a totally unexpected bonus, I get to work with my dad. I had tossed around the idea of becoming a faction ambassador like my mom but this is so much more 'me.'"

"I'm glad you like it," I say. "Zeke said you're doing a great job. I know it must keep you busy."

"It does."

"How about you, Avery?" I ask.

"I've been spending a lot of time in the server room but I love it. I've always been interested in computers and now I'm learning so much," she says. "I need to talk to you and Four about something. I finally have a weekend off. Do you think I can spend some time with two of my favorite kids?" Tyler's head pops up when he hears this.

"You mean me?" he asks.

"Yes, I mean you and Tessa of course," she says, smiling ear to ear at him. It's easy to tell how much she loves him. "But I have to ask your mommy and daddy first."

"Peas, Mommy!" Tyler croons looking my way.

"If you'd like to take the kids for a while, I don't have a problem with that. Four?"

"Sounds like fun," he says. "Do you want to spend the day with Avery, Tyler?"

"Yeah!"

"How about Saturday then? I'll come over around 10 and pick them up. We'll go to the park and have a picnic. I know you like that, Tyler." He excitedly bobs his head up and down.

"We've got to go, Avery," Callen says. "We're having dinner tonight in the city with Dad and Abigail."

"That sounds like fun," I say. "If you're going to the Italian restaurant, you're in for a big treat."

"I think my Dad did mention something about Italian. You've been there?"

"A few times," I say. "It's amazing. You need to try the tiramisu for dessert. It's scrumptious." Teagan starts crying, which triggers Tessa's tears. Avery and Callen's eyes widen, and they quickly say their goodbyes. "Well, well. Do my girls know how to clear a room or what?" I chuckle. "Are you hungry, little one?" I get the nursing pillow out of the cupboard and sit back down. I get Tessa situated while Tobias picks Peanut up off the floor. When I'm ready, he puts her in my arms. Within a minute they're both nursing. Tobias takes Tyler into the kitchen to help make supper. About 15 minutes later, the aroma of pepperoni pizza wafts throughout the apartment, and my mouth starts to water.

"Do you need a hand?" Tobias asks.

"Yeah, can you take Peanut?" I ask. "She's finished by Tessa's not." He lifts her out of my arms after I kiss her head and pats her back twice before she burps then he puts her on the couch where he quickly swaddles her in a lightweight mint green blanket.

"Can I help?" Tyler asks from where he's standing next to Tobias.

"Sure, buddy. Take this and pull it over here." Tyler does what he's told then kisses Teagan's head.

"Mommy, we make pizza," he says, resting his chin on his hands, which are lying on the arm of my chair. "Daddy let me put the peppewoni on it. Then he let me put white cheese on top but he not let me put it in the oven." He loves helping.

"That's a good thing. You're too little to use the oven," I say.

"That what Daddy say." He sounds amazed that Mommy and Daddy think the same way.

"Great minds think alike," Tobias says, smiling warmly at me. "Why don't you help me set the table, buddy."

"Okay, Daddy," he says then runs into the kitchen.

"You're brother's crazy, little one," I say as I hear clattering and banging coming from the other room. Tessa finally loses interest in nursing so I put her up to my shoulder and it takes her no time at all to burp. The timer goes off in the kitchen so I get up and put her in her booster seat next to my chair. "Do you need any help?"

"You go ahead and sit down," Tobias says. "I've got it."

"Come on, Tyler," I say. "I'll help you up to the table." I watch as he climbs onto his chair, making sure he doesn't fall off, kiss his head, and then sit down myself. Tobias puts the pizza and a Caesar salad on the table between us but out of reach of Tessa's little grabby hands. "This looks wonderful."

"Yeah! Yummy," Tyler excitedly says. Tobias goes to the refrigerator and gets the bowl of apple salad and a pitcher of lemonade. He sits down after pouring us each a drink. He makes Tyler a plate then dishes up a plate for me and then one for himself.

The minute we finish eating, Tyler asks if he can go play, and he surprises us by going into the living room and pulling his puzzle books out instead of going to his room. I put my feet up in Tobias' lap and he rubs them gently.

"I love this," I say.

"What? Supper?"

"Our life," I say. "Although, supper was superb."

"It was, if I don't say so myself," he says. Tessa starts fussing in her booster seat so I lift her into my arms. She starts jabbering then squeals excitedly. "Are you happy tonight, little one?"

"Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma."

"Do you think she's actually saying mama?" I ask, suddenly hoping it's true.

"I think she might," he says. "She babbles and jabber then squeals and coos but the only time she says that is if she wants you or you have her."

"Are you trying to say Mommy, little one?" I ask. She puts her hand on my check then starts saying ma ma over and over. "I love you, Tessa. My super baby, trying to talk already."

"Why don't you take her into the living room, and I'll clean the kitchen up," he says.

"Okay," I say. I go into the living room and put her on the floor with her blocks. "Tyler?" He looks up at me. "Can you make sure that Tessa doesn't get ahold of your puzzle pieces? She puts everything in her mouth nowadays, and we wouldn't want her to choke."

"Otay, Mommy," he says. "I be caweful." I squat down and kiss his head.

"Love you, buddy," I say. "Mommy and Daddy will be in the kitchen cleaning things up. How about a movie afterwards?"

"Yeah!" he says. "I pick one out. Tess too little."

"Daddy brought you home that new dinosaur movie a few days ago. Maybe we can all watch that one."

" _Otay!_ " I kiss his head again then go into the kitchen. I tiptoe up behind Tobias and wrap my arms around his waist and kiss his Dauntless tattoo through his form-fitting black tee. He sighs as I move my hands up his body from his abs to his chest.

"You're distracting me, Mrs. Eaton," he breathlessly says.

"I wanted to thank you for coming home this afternoon to talk things out," I say as he turns in my arms. "I heard a crash in your office before I came home. I thought about seeing what it was but then I figured you needed to cool off as much as I did."

"I, uh, threw something at the wall," he admits looking bashful. "You made me very angry this afternoon, probably just as mad as I made you. I threw a little tantrum then realized you were right. That's why I came home."

"Have I told you that I love you lately?" I say, reaching up and smoothing out his ruffled hair. I just noticed that he looks like he's been rolling around in bed all afternoon.

"You tell me all the time how much you love me," he says. "I look forward to you being able to show me again."

"I could show you later," I say slowly licking my lips. He grazes his hand up my body and threads his fingers in my hair, running his thumb over my parted lips as I pant noisily.

"As much as I love this beautiful mouth and how it feels on me," he moves his thumb away then presses his lips to mine, "I want to wait until we can make love _together_."

"You're right," I say. We hear Tessa's babbling getting closer, and we look at the edge of the island just as she pulls herself into view. "Holy crap! When did you get mobile, little one?" I go pick her up, and she kicks her legs excitedly and drools all over her fist, which is shoved in her mouth. I look at Tobias, and he shrugs, just as shocked as I am. We've both seen her move around the living room a little but she's never traveled this far before. Tears wet my eyes as I think about how much she's grown. I hug her closely, and she lays her head on my shoulder, jabbering the entire time. When I finish hugging her, her head pops up and she smiles brightly. _God, she's a beauty!_ Tobias grabs a towel and wipes the drool from her chin.

"Ma ma ma ma ma ma."

"I got you, little one," I say.

"Can you say Daddy?" Tobias asks her but she just smiles and continues to babble.

"Oh, I think I hear your sister. Come on." I kiss Tobias' cheek then go back into the living room. I sit Tessa in the middle of her blocks then go to Peanut's bassinet. Before I get to the club chair, Tessa has moved. "Tobias, your daughter is coming to see you. Are you hungry, Peanut?" I put her to my breast, and she suckles eagerly. "Yes, you are." Tobias comes back into the living room carrying Tessa. He smells her behind and grimaces then gets a diaper and wipes out of the cupboard. He sits on the couch and changes her, which is quite a feat these days. The minute you get her on her back she wants to roll onto her stomach or try to sit up. She just won't stay still.

"Mommy, can we have popcown with the movie?" Tyler asks.

"I don't see why not but maybe you should ask Daddy."

"Daddy, can we have popcown with the movie?"

"Sure we can, buddy," he says then he looks at Tessa who is in his arms. "If I put you down, are you going to follow me?" She grins at him. He puts her down on the floor and heads into the kitchen. She likes being mobile because she army crawls right after him. I giggle and she stops and looks at me. When she notices Teagan, she frowns.

"Don't give me that look, little one. Your sister needs fed just like you do," I say but she continues staring at me with a scowl on her little face. "You're going to make Mommy sad." She finally lays her head down on her arms and starts crying. I sigh and shake my head. Tobias comes back into the living room carrying a large bowl of popcorn and several smaller empty bowl.

"What's wrong, Pebbles?" he asks as he picks her up after setting the bowls on the coffee table. The little tears in her eyes break my heart. He sits down after putting the movie in, and Tyler fills a bowl with popcorn until another kernel won't fit then settles in next to his dad to watch. When Peanut finishes nursing, Tobias puts Tessa in my arms so the girls can continue their bonding, but tonight they both fall asleep rather quickly. Tobias suggests putting them in bed but I don't let him move them. I love this time of night when I get to hold my girls in my arms. It won't be like this forever. After the movie is over, we take the kids upstairs and put them into bed. I change into a pair of sleep shorts and a tank top then slip between the sheets and cuddle into Tobias' side.

"Goodnight, baby," I say.

"Good night, love," he says but then his phone rings, shattering our quiet night. "Hello? … I just got in bed … Just wait until you have a newborn, Zeke. You'll go to bed early, too … Now … What do you want … Can't it wait until morning … Well, I can't leave Tris alone with the kids. You'll have to come here … Okay." He hangs up his phone and groans. "Zeke says he found something important. Apparently, it can break Sam and Harrison's cases wide open, and it can't wait until morning."


	70. Chapter 70

"I'm going downstairs with you to talk to Zeke," I say as I follow Tobias out of bed. He looks like he wants to argue but after our disagreement this afternoon, he says nothing. I slip my robe on then gently pick up Peanut. She'll want nursed again sooner than later. "Will you grab the baby monitor?" He takes the wireless receiver off my nightstand, and we head downstairs. Just as I'm putting Peanut in the bassinet, which is tucked away in a quiet corner of the living room, there's a soft rap on the front door. Tobias opens it up and ushers Zeke and James inside, which we are both surprised to see. They look agitated.

"Come in, guys," Tobias says.

"Would either of you like some coffee?" I ask. "It's decaffeinated."

"I'd love a cup, Tris," James says.

"I'll take one, too," Zeke says then my eyes slip to Tobias'.

"That would be great, love," he says. I go into the kitchen and start a fresh pot. Since he had it ready to go for in the morning, all I have to do is hit the start button. I retrieve a tray and four mugs from the cupboards while the coffee brews. When it finishes, I pour us each a steaming cup then carry the tray into the living room.

"Thanks," James, Zeke, and Tobias each say after I give them a mug. I set the empty tray on the coffee table then sit in the club chair with my legs folded under my body and the steaming cup in my hands. Zeke takes a sip of his coffee, sets it on a coaster on the end table next to him, then gets up off the couch. He takes a flash drive out of his pocket and turns it over and over nervously between his fingers.

"James brought a few things to my attention earlier," he finally says.

"I transferred a copy to a removable disc drive and immediately gave it to Zeke," James says. Zeke plugs it into the port on the side of our television set and picks up our remote. After hitting a couple buttons a black and white picture comes up on the screen. He fast forwards the image then freezes it.

"I'm going to show you three different surveillance feeds," Zeke says. "Watch them carefully and tell me if you see anything interesting. I found this first one from around 7 a.m. this morning." He points the remote at the TV, presses play, and the frozen picture miraculously comes to life. The first video is from somewhere in the city but it's hard to tell exactly where due to the angle. The camera is focused on a pair of ramshackle brick buildings with broken, dirt-covered windows and boarded up doors restricting access to the condemned structures. I assume it's from one of the new cameras installed on the edge of the factionless sector, and my suspicions are soon confirmed when I see Molly come into view. She crosses from the lower right-hand corner of our large television to the upper left-hand section of the screen but stops before moving out of camera range. She looks around then steps into the long shadow between the buildings and disappears. I'm about to ask what's so special about this footage when the familiar-looking unknown subject comes into view. Unfortunately, his or her back is to the camera the entire time until they too disappear into the same alleyway Molly did so once again we're in the dark as to who this person is. There is one noticeable difference about the person though. Usually it's dressed head-to-toe in black shapeless clothes but today there's a thin white stripe running up the side of their pants.

"I scanned the footage forward but, unfortunately, they never reappeared," Zeke says after pausing the video once again. "The next two feeds were found by James and Nathan from inside the compound." Once again he presses play. This time I know exactly what I'm looking at. It's a wide angle shot of the hallway in front of our offices. The time and date stamp says it's from a little before 9 a.m. this morning, which is just before Tobias and Shauna were set to leave Dauntless on patrol business. Just as that thought crosses my mind, Tobias' office door opens, and they walk out into the hallway. He says something to her, and she laughs but not before hitting him on the arm. He opens the exit door and ushers her out. Almost immediately the unknown subject comes from the direction of the Pit path and stops at his office. Whoever it is keeps their head bent away from the camera so we don't see their face. They fish a key out of their pocket, open the door, and go inside after looking up and down the hallway one last time. Zeke fast forwards the footage, and I watch the time counter scroll almost two hours in a matter of seconds. The door opens an inch at a time and the intruder sticks its head out the door, checking to see if the coast is clear. When they see no one is around, they close the door, double check the lock then dash off in the direction of the Pit.

"Too bad I didn't think to put a camera somewhere in my office," Tobias mutters, mainly to himself. "We'd know exactly what this asshole looks like. As a matter of fact, cameras will be installed in each office tomorrow. They've hit Harrison's and now mine. Who's to say that they won't break into Tori's, Will's, or yours next?"

"It would take someone pretty ballsy to break into my office," I say. "They could easily be seen from the hallway and outside." I don't know why but my office is the only one with windows and there are a lot of them.

"Or someone who wouldn't stand out as being out of place," Zeke says, pressing play on the video again. _What's he getting at?_ The next video is a split screen. On the left-hand side is half of the training room including the entrance and on the right is the other half including the doors to the locker rooms. Not surprisingly the entrance door opens, and the unknown subject skulks in and goes directly to the woman's locker room. This is a surprising twist. I think we all thought we were dealing with a male but it looks like our intruder is female. About 30 minutes later a group of familiar faces walk out. I know who they all are but I only know one personally. Peanut starts fussing but before I can get up, Tobias quickly goes to her bassinet, not taking his eyes off the TV and brings her to me. I hold her close to my chest, and she quiets down momentarily.

"Look at her bag?" James says. Zeke zooms the footage in on her hand. Although it's grainy, I see something black with a single white stripe sticking out of her bag. I start shaking my head.

"I'm sorry but I just don't believe it," I say. "We thoroughly vetted her and Ella both when we found out Dante and Samuel were Erudite spies. Nothing popped. Plus, what would her motivation be?"

"Proof is right there on screen," James says pointing to the television, which Zeke paused again. My eyes glide from the bag in Kirsten's hand with the incriminating evidence up to her face. She's chatting cordially with the other woman. She's showing zero nervousness. "Did you confirm that these other women were on video going into the training room this morning?"

"The surveillance footage was … glitchy … this morning," Zeke says. "The only person we got going in was the unknown subject."

"That's convenient," I mutter.

"I have to agree with Tris on this one," Tobias says.

"Four," Zeke starts to say but Tobias shakes his head.

"Before we confront Kirsten, I need to go through my office and see what's missing, if anything; the other woman thoroughly need investigated; and then we need to talk to each one of them. I can see something sticking out of Kirsten's bag but how do we know that it's the pants. It could be a different article of clothing. If one of the others is helping Molly, they would want to shift blame to someone else."

"Lauren is from Candor," I say, looking at her frozen image on the screen. "It might be a coincidence but it's strange that all our known players jumped into Dauntless from Candor. Kirsten is from Dauntless." Peanut starts crying, and I know it's past time for her to be nursed. "If you guys will excuse me, my daughter needs me." I turn toward the stairs and say, "I'm sorry, Peanut. Did Mommy make you wait too long?" When I reach my bedroom, I sit down in the brand new rocking chair next to her bassinet. I put her to my breast, and she quiets down. Tobias surprised me with the mission style rocker after I took Peanut into the nursery to feed her and she woke Tessa up. We had the hardest time getting them both to sleep that night.

I think about what I've learned today while I feed my hungry baby: Harrison's apartment and office were broken into and ransacked. Why? We don't know; Tori's apartment was broken into, although she didn't know until it was seen on surveillance; it looked like Kirsten, our friend, had incriminating evidence sticking out of her bag after the unknown subject went into the female locker room in the training room. Something just doesn't seem right. That person has been very careful to not leave any kind of clue as to who they are and in one day wears a distinctive pair of pants then leaves them hanging out of their bag on video, video that was glitchy all morning. No. Someone is setting her up. I'm sure of it. Then again, maybe that's what she wants us to think. _Ugh! I hate this._ When Peanut finishes nursing, Tobias is still downstairs. I put her in her crib in the nursery then head downstairs. I expect Zeke and James to still be here but they're gone. Tobias is standing at the windows, staring out. I check the monitor to make sure it's working then slide up behind him and wrap my arms around him.

"Love, you should be in bed," he says as he covers my hands with his. I lay my head against his back and hug him tightly.

"I'll go to bed if you join me," I say. "I get lonely without you."

"I can't. Not yet."

"Talk to me, Tobias."

"Do you think she could betray us like that?" he asks. He unwraps my arms from around his waist and leads me to the couch. He pulls me down sideways on his lap and wraps his arms protectively around me and buries his face in my neck.

"The rational part of me says no way but then the emotional part remembers Dante's betrayal, and I wonder if she had a good teacher."

"I know exactly what you mean," he sighs. "Zeke and James are both convinced of her guilt but I think that's because they've never liked her. Hell, I don't really like her myself but is that enough of a reason to arrest our friend and interrogate her?"

"There's one thing I'm convinced of. There needs to be some sort of investigation before she's approached," I say. "If it's her, we don't want to let her know she's made a mistake and if someone is setting her up, we don't want them to think they've gotten away with it. Does that make any sense? I'm kind of tired."

"I know what you mean."

"So the guys want you to have her arrested?" I say.

"Yeah," he says. "They think that the video is proof enough. Should we talk to her?"

"That's a tough one," I say. "If she's the one from inside Dauntless who is helping Molly then we're tipping our hand before we actually know anything. I don't know about you but I like when we know what the answers to our questions should be when we interrogate a suspect. However, if she's someone's pawn, asking her about whatever is in her bag might be helpful. The one thing that really bugs me is that the security camera footage from the training room is not complete from this morning."

"I agree with you 100% on that point," he says. "If it weren't for that it would make the decision a lot easier. Come on, let's get to bed." He tenderly kisses me then lets me off his lap. I grab the baby monitor off the end table then allow him to lead me up to our bedroom. Just as I'm dozing off, the girls both start crying, and I feel frustrated tears well up in my tired eyes. Tobias and I stumble out of bed and into the nursery. I pick up Peanut who immediately falls back to sleep and put her in her bassinet in our room. "Go back to bed, love. I'll take this one downstairs and give her a bottle."

"I'd like to argue but I'm just too tired," I say. He kisses my head after I slip back into bed then carries Tessa out of the room. The minute my head hits the pillow, I quickly fall asleep.

I drag my eyes open when I hear Peanut whimpering. I look at the clock and it's nearly 4 a.m. I gently ease out of bed not wanting to disturb Tobias but when I pick Teagan up, I realize our bed is now empty. I carry her into the nursery where I find Tessa sleeping soundly and start to worry about where their father is. I quickly change her diaper then get the sling carrier out, put it on, and get her latched onto my breast then I go downstairs in search of my husband. I hear soft voices that stop me from making my presence known.

"I don't know where else to look, Four," Will says. "I've looked everywhere. Their apartment is a mess. Zeke tells me the cameras were remotely accessed and turned off so we have no footage from _anywhere_."

"Have you checked the infirmary?" Tobias quietly asks.

"I've called … three times. Neither Tori or Frankie have been admitted." _Tori_? _Frankie_?

"What about the hospital in town?"

"No one with their descriptions have been brought into the emergency room," he says. "I've looked at the tattoo parlor, her office, the Pit, the infirmary, the cafeteria, the control room, the server room. I don't know where else to look."

"What's going on?" I ask, finally making my presence known.

"Oh, Tris," Tobias sighs when he sees me standing here.

"I'll tell her, Four," Will says.

"Love, you need to sit down." I sit in the club chair making sure that my bare breast is covered. I doubt anyone could see because the room is dimly lit but I don't want to take a chance.

"Zeke and James called me to the control room after they left your apartment earlier," Will says. "They wanted to show me what they had found on the security camera footage."

"They didn't like my idea of not arresting Kirsten outright," Tobias says. I sigh.

"Anyway, on my way home I noticed that Tori's door was ajar. I honestly don't remember it being that way when I left just an hour beforehand. I called out for her and Frankie but didn't get an answer. When I pushed the door open my heart sank. Their apartment had been ransacked. I immediately called her but her phone was there on the floor. I called Frankie also but got no answer. That's when I went home and told Christina that I had some business to attend to then I stopped by Tori's office and found it destroyed also. I've been all over this compound looking for them but I can't find either of them anywhere." The fatigue I was feeling just a few minutes ago has been replaced by adrenaline pumping quickly through my veins.

"What do we do?" I ask.

"You are going to go back to bed after you finish nursing Peanut," Tobias says, "and I am going to go with Will to look for them." He gives me a look that I dare not argue with. How could I? Who would watch our three little angels?

"Please, please, _please_ be careful," I say, worry threatening to choke me. "Both of you. Let me know if I can do anything to help."

"Try to rest, love," Tobias says much more softly. He gets up off the couch and kisses my temple. I hadn't even noticed that he was dressed until he walks out the door followed closely by Will. I pull the sling away from Peanut and gaze at her as she nurses. Her little eyes are closed as she contentedly suckles. I breathe deeply as I keep my eyes on her but it does little to calm me. _Where are you Tori?_ I sure hope she's okay and Frankie, too.

When Peanut finishes, I fix my shirt and tickle her face until I know she's sound asleep. I should put her in the bassinet but having her close is the only thing that's holding me together right now. I'm so worried. I decide to make myself another pot of coffee while I wait for Tobias and pad into the kitchen. I whip up a sausage, egg, and potato casserole while the coffee brews and put it in the refrigerator until it's time to go into the oven for breakfast. I pour myself a cup of coffee and sit in the club chair that faces the entryway and stare at the door, willing Tobias to come home. Every little noise has my eyes flying to the front door but it doesn't open. After my fourth mug of coffee, I decide to take a shower to try and calm my frayed nerves. I pick up the baby monitor and carry Peanut upstairs and into the nursery. I put her in her crib then go into my bathroom. I set the monitor on the counter and take my clothes off and put them in the hamper. I step into the massive glass-walled shower that could be a room in itself and turn the various showerheads on and find the right temperature. I stand and let the water beat down on my body. Normally this would be very relaxing but I'm too nervous right now. I feel a cool breeze hit my bare, wet backside and whirl around. Tobias steps into the stall with weary eyes. I practically launch myself into his arms.

"Thank God you're alright," I say as my mouth finds his. The anxiety from the past 24 hours acts like a lit fuse to the pent-up frustration from the past month causing an explosion of desire to rapidly move through both of us. I gasp when he pushes me up against the cold tile wall and moves his hot mouth to my wet neck. He slides his hands up my slick body to cover my aching breasts. I wrap my arms around his neck and arch my back, trying to feel every inch of his body against mine. He peppers kisses all over my neck, shoulders, and collarbone before moving his mouth to my swollen flesh. "Oh, God." I moan when his mouth envelopes the hardened bud, lightly lapping it with his talented tongue then nibbling on it gently causing me to gasp. He sucks, nips, and teases until I think my legs are going to go out from under me then drags his lips across my chest to my severely deprived nipple and he repeats each delicious flick of his tongue. I close my eyes and rest my head against the marble tile as steam swirls around our naked bodies, dreaming of where I know this can't lead. Or can it? I glide my hands down his body with the help of the water pouring down on us. I take him in my hand and start slowly moving my fist up and down. He's already harder than I've ever felt him but he lengthens and hardens further beneath my ministrations.

"Tris, please," he moans, which is the only invitation I need. I press myself against his body and slowly slide down to my knees, maintaining eye contact the entire time. I grasp him with my fist and take him in my mouth, and he groans long and low. He moves his hands to either side of my head and tangles them in my dripping locks and I can't tell if he's wanting me to stop or continue but it's out of his control now. I swirl my tongue around his head focusing on the sensitive underside, and his eyes roll back in his head. I love that I can do that to him, give him such pleasure … pleasure he's been denying himself these past few weeks just because I can't make love. I take him out of my mouth and lick up and down his shaft, and he moans an expletive.

"I love how hard you are for me, baby," I say. He opens his eyes and gazes down at me with a look that threatens to set me on fire. I give him a small smile then take him back in my mouth, coordinating my hand and tongue with the movements of my head. I hear his breathing quicken over the sound of the water, and I know he's close. I suck a little harder and quickly swirl my tongue around his shaft on my upward passes then move him further and further into my mouth until he stiffens and erupts with a loud groan. I swallow quickly continuing each fluid movement until he releases himself fully. I kiss my way up his body, and he cups my face and draws my mouth to his, kissing me thoroughly. He thrusts his tongue between my quivering lips and mates it with mine. He picks me straight up and I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs tightly around his waist. He growls into my open mouth then pulls his lips away from mine.

"You should be in bed," he roughly says in my ear but he doesn't release me.

"Are you going to take me to bed?" I ask, breathlessly.

"I would love nothing more but I won't do anything that might hurt you," he says.

"That's why I love you so much," I say, lowering my mouth to his again.

"Love, we really need to stop," he roughly says. I run my fingers through his hair and nod at him. _He's right._ I release my legs from around his waist, and he lowers me to my feet. "God, I love you."

"I love you, too," I say. He picks up my shampoo and lathers up my hair while I run the bath poof with his shower gel all over his body then we switch and I wash his hair while he runs his hands all over my body, cleaning me.

"We should probably get out of here," he says. "The kids will all be up soon if they aren't already."

"You're right," I say as I turn off the water. He steps out into the bathroom and wraps a towel around his waist then gets a second towel off the warmer and wraps it around my shoulders and pulls me close. He cups my chin and runs his thumb over my lips as he stares in my eyes.

"I don't know whether to say thank you or be angry for what this beautiful mouth just did to me a few minutes ago," he says.

"I wanted to," I say. "So did you."

"Yeah, I did but I'm not going to let it happen again, not until we can make love … _together_. It's not fair to you," he says. "It took everything I had not to just slip inside of you when I was holding you so close. It would have been awesome but then I would have hated myself afterwards."

"I'm so sorry, Tobias," I say. He slips both hands up into my wet hair and touches his forehead to mine. "I just wanted you to give me what I was wanting, and I didn't care about your feelings. I was being selfish. I'm sorry."

"We're both frustrated, love. Neither one of us does well when we can't have sex," he says with a chuckle. "We're as stubborn as a certain 2 year old we both know. In the past when we've dealt with stressful Dauntless situations, the first thing we do is turn to each other, which is what happened in the shower. Am I right?"

"You are _so_ right," I say. "How are we going to get through this next two weeks? I'm going crazy." He moves his mouth to mine and kisses me slowly, thoroughly.

"We'll figure it out," he breathlessly says, kisses my head, and then lets me go. "Why didn't you go back to sleep earlier?" He takes another towel off the warmer and thoroughly dries his hair.

"I was too worried to sleep," I say. "Did you find her? Is she okay? I can't believe I didn't ask before now."

"There's still no sign of her anywhere," he says. "We can't find Frankie either. When I talked to Zeke about the security cameras he told me exactly what Will said, the system was remotely accessed and every camera in the _city_ went out for 4 minutes and 30 seconds, which is ample time for someone to cover their tracks. I don't have a good feeling about this."

"Why is this happening?" I ask as I pull on a pair of low rise boy shorts that fall beneath my sensitive incision scar. "Did we do something to cause all this?" He stops what he's doing and stares at me.

"Love, we haven't done anything wrong," he says. "I wish we had clear cut answers as to why this is going on but we don't. Even if Molly or whoever is behind this craziness does try to blame us, it's _their_ problem not ours." We finish dressing in our walk in closets after hanging up our damp towels.

"There's a casserole in the refrigerator I made while you were out looking for Tori and Frankie," I say. "Do you want to put it in the oven?"

"Okay," he says then stills. "I think I hear our son whispering to his sisters." I stop and listen to the monitor, which we brought with us.

"Awe you wake, Tess?" I know she is when I hear her coo back at him. "Do you want Mommy?"

"Ma ma ma ma ma ma," she says.

"I go get hew," Tyler says. I hear his footsteps even before I open the door into our bedroom. "Hi, Mommy! Tess wants you. I think baby still sleepin'."

"Good morning, buddy," I say then squat down and hug him tightly. I still can't pick him up but I'm hoping that I'll be able to after my postpartum appointment. I miss holding him. "So how do you know Tessa wants me?"

"She told me," he says matter-of-factly.

"Okay."

"Good morning, buddy," Tobias says as he comes into the bedroom. He whisks him up into his arms causing him to giggle uncontrollably. "How's my boy this morning?"

"I hungwy, Daddy" he says. "Can we have cake?"

"Um, no," I say. He sticks his bottom lip out and starts pouting. "We don't eat cake for breakfast."

"Uncle Wiah does," he says. Damn Uriah better not be feeding my 2-year-old cake for breakfast.

"Is this your way of saying you miss Uriah," Tobias asks him.

"Yeah," he says. "Can we have lunch with him?"

"Lunch?" I say. "Probably not but we might be able to have supper. It's probably time to introduce everyone to your baby sister anyway but Daddy has a lot of business to take care of so don't be disappointed if we can't go. Okay?"

"Otay," he says. "Let's eat."

"How about we go downstairs and finish breakfast," Tobias says. "Mommy started it." He gives me a swift kiss then heads downstairs. Tyler's right. When I go into the nursery Peanut is still asleep and Tessa is lying in her crib chewing on her toes.

"Do your toes taste good, little one?" I ask her. She beams and starts jabbering as I pick her up. I strip her out of her onesie and change her diaper then sit down and nurse her, softly talking to her the entire time. Just as she finishes, Teagan wakes up and makes a fuss. I put Tessa back in her crib and pick up Peanut. "Good morning. Are you hungry?" I quickly change her diaper after taking her onesie off then sit in the rocker to nurse her. When she finishes, I put her in her crib then find an outfit for each of them. The first thing that jumps out at me is the matching outfits that Tobias bought them. Even though I swore I would not make them match, I can't resist the leopard print onesie with a black tulle bow, matching tulle skirt, and black headband with a leopard print bow. They are going to look so cute. I first dress Teagan then Tessa. I put the sling on, get Peanut situated, then pick up Tessa and carry her on my hip, which she loves.

"Come to Daddy, Pebbles," Tobias says, taking her from me after we step into the kitchen. He looks in the sling and sees that Peanut is dressed like her sister and smiles brightly at me.

A loud knock interrupts our tender kiss and Tyler goes running into the other room shouting, "I get it, I get it."

"Tyler Aaron, don't you dare open that door," Tobias says, following after him. I shake my head as I put Peanut in her bassinet then follow after them. They step aside and Will, Zeke, Shauna, Purple-Hair, and Snake-Tattoo walk into our living room. The moment I see their faces I know we have more bad news coming.

"Buddy, why don't you take your puzzles into the sunroom," I say. "Mommy and Daddy need to talk to our friends."

"Otay," he says. "Can Tess come with me?"

"I think she's going to stay with us," Tobias says. Tyler shrugs then picks up his puzzle book and goes to one of the loveseats in the sunroom. Tessa looks at Purple-Hair or maybe it's Snake-Tattoo and her bottom lip starts quivering.

"Come here, little one." I take her from Tobias who immediately starts pacing, and she lays her head down on my shoulder. She peeks up to see if they're still there and starts whining. I turn her so her back is to them and she quiets down. "Did you find them?" I ask, getting the conversation started.

"There's still no sign of Tori," Will says.

"But two hours ago Frankie was found," Snake-Tattoo says but says nothing further.

"Well, where?" Tobias finally asks.

"In the chasm."


	71. Chapter 71

"Oh my God!" I say, gripping Tessa tightly to my chest. She's the only thing keeping me grounded in place at the moment but my legs feel like they will no longer hold me up, and I sink into the club chair. This can't be happening. Not again. "Is he?" I can't even bring myself to finish the sensitive question.

"He's alive but in critical condition," Will says. "Simon, Tony, and a couple others found him and took him to the infirmary when they realized he was still alive."

"Dr. Parrish and his staff were still working on him when we left to go find Will," Purple-Hair says. "He's in bad shape. The doctor didn't want to speculate but he did find an injection site on his neck, and he thinks he was administered the same serum that killed Sam and Harrison. Obviously if he was, he's not going to make it." I notice Tobias pull his phone out of his pocket and send a quick text. I imagine it's to Zander.

"What else do we know?" Tobias asks after slipping his phone in his pocket, morphing into Four right before my eyes. "Shauna?"

"I've had extra patrol members searching for Tori around the compound both inside and out since I was told she was missing," she says. "But without a clue as to exactly when and where she went missing, I don't know where to have them keep looking."

"What did Mike, Nick, Josh, and Matt say Molly, Drew, and Olivia's statuses were at their last check in?" Tobias asks.

"Mike and Nick have not made direct contact with Molly, Drew, Edward, Myra, or Olivia as per orders. They've been observing their activities within the factionless sector. They don't think that Edward or Myra have any involvement with the other three."

"They don't _think_ ," Tobias says, obviously irritated.

"They have observed zero interaction between them," she says. "As for Josh and Matt, last night they reported that they think the trio are aware of the surveillance. I'm going to assign two more teams to trade off shifts, mix up the partners, and tag-team-surveil so they aren't so conspicuous, I just haven't had time to do so yet."

"We have Molly on video yesterday morning on the outskirts of the factionless sector," Tobias says. "Where were the teams that were supposed to be keeping tabs on her?"

"They both temporarily lost sight of her at approximately 7 a.m. yesterday when Drew and Olivia caused a diversion. She slipped away unseen," she says. "That's when Josh and Matt decided that the trio were on to them but Mike and Nick think their cover is intact."

"That's unfortunate," Tobias says with a sigh. "Zeke, what have you learned?"

"I found out where the hack that sabotaged the security cameras originated from but I don't exactly know what to make of it," he says. "It came from the computer in Tori's office. As of right now it seems like she's the one who turned them off." I furrow my brows and slowly shake my head.

"She wouldn't do that," I say.

"Kind of like Kirsten wouldn't be helping Molly even though we have her on camera," Zeke scoffs. Tobias starts to say something but I jump to my feet and get in Zeke's face.

"Don't speak to me that way. We may be friends but I'm still a leader of this faction and your boss. I deserve respect, Zeke," I firmly say and he backs down, taken aback by my forcefulness. "I won't have _any_ member of Dauntless accused of a serious crime based on evidence that may have been altered or at the very least is skewed. There will be a thorough investigation into what we saw on that video last night. How do we know that the person who was talking to Molly didn't quickly change, stuff those pants into Kirsten's bag, then slip out of the training room when the camera wasn't working."

"You're right, Tris," he says. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't take my frustration out on you. You're also right about Kirsten. She deserves more from us than our suspicions." Tessa starts whining so I walk over by the window and sway back and forth until she calms down.

"Are you alright?" Tobias softly asks from right behind me.

"Mm-hm." He kisses my temple then moves away from me.

"We need to put a stop to this _now_ ," he says. I can hear extreme frustration in his voice. "Zeke, move all computer programmers to the control room to go through any back log of video we have. If you need more computers, get them from the electronics store. If you think you need more bodies watching the feeds, do what you have to do to get them. I trust your judgment.

"Shauna, put two more teams undercover in the factionless sector – one made up of two females and the other a mixed team. Have them meet up with Mike and Nick as soon as possible and instead of adding two more patrol teams to follow them in the city, I want a total of six. If you need to pull people off the fence or from other faction duties, do it. I want eyes on Molly, Drew, and Olivia 24 hours a day. Anyone who lets them out of their sight better love being factionless because their undercover assignment will become permanent.

"Simon, I want you to go through Tori's apartment and office. Get as many people as you need but make sure each slip of paper is examined for clues as to why Tori and Frankie were targeted and where she might be.

"Tony, I want mini-cameras inconspicuously placed in each office including Zeke's and Shauna's. I don't care if it's mounted somewhere or if it's a wireless nanny cam-type device but this is of the utmost importance. Start with Tris' office then move on to Will and Harrison's. You can leave mine and Tori's for last. We have quite a mess to clean up first.

"Will, I'm putting you in charge of Tori's search. Go to the infirmary and check on Frankie's condition. If we're lucky, he's survived and can tell us what happened and where Tori is. If he's still unconscious or worse, coordinate with Shauna to have every inch of the compound scoured then work your way outward."

"I just had a thought," I say as I turn around, gaining everyone's attention. "Frankie didn't live full time with Tori. He still has his own apartment. Has anyone looked for her there or for clues as to why this happened?" Tobias looks at our guests who are all staring at each other.

"Well?" he asks.

"I thought he lived with her," Will finally says.

"So did I," Zeke says. "They're always together."

"Tori mentioned in passing just last week that he still has his own place, and he sleeps there from time to time," I say. "Maybe she's there. It's just a thought."

"I just assumed he lived with her because I see him most mornings leaving the apartment for a jog," Will says.

"We shouldn't assume anything," Tobias says. "I'll get you his apartment number. Hopefully my files aren't too big a mess. I'm going to finish breakfast with Tris, take the kids to daycare then I'll be in my office putting it back together and looking for clues as to what these people are looking for, if in fact they are. I'll be available on my cell if you need me."

"Who is going to start looking into the woman who were with Kirsten?" Zeke asks. Tobias looks my way then runs his hand through his hair.

"I will after I get my office back in order," he says. "Tris is going to help me." They nod then, knowing they've been dismissed, move toward the entry way and out the door but Zeke and Shauna hang back.

"I'm really sorry, Tris," he says again.

"I know," I say. I lean over and put Tessa on the floor, and she immediately pulls herself to Tobias and whines at his feet. He picks her up and kisses her head while our guests smile.

"Tessa, you're getting so big," Shauna says, gaining a grin from my daughter. "There's something Zeke and I talked about when we heard Tori and Frankie were in this mess after Kirsten was implicated. It may not mean anything but we thought we'd share. If Kirsten is helping Molly there's a connection between her and Frankie with them both working at the electronics store."

"That thought crossed my mind as well," I say. "Do either of you know Frankie well?"

"Not at all actually," Zeke says. "He's good at his job, the DJing thing. I'm not sure about his job at the store."

"I've only talked to him a couple times. He seemed pretty quiet," Shauna says. "I thought he and Tori were an odd couple."

"I guess we have to look into him now," Tobias says as the timer goes off indicating the breakfast casserole is done.

"We'll go," Zeke says. "Have a good breakfast." He puts his hand on the small of Shauna's back and leads her out the door as we all go into the kitchen. Tobias wordlessly hands me Tessa then goes to the oven to retrieve our breakfast. I walk to the doorway of our sunroom and watch as Tyler puts his dinosaur puzzle together for the millionth time.

"Breakfast is almost ready," I say and he looks up over his shoulder at me with a brilliant smile. Oh, to be that innocent. "Will you please put your puzzles away and get up to the table?"

"Otay," he says. I watch as he carefully puts each piece where it goes and closes the book. He carries it into the living room and puts it where it belongs then gets up to the table. When I hear Peanut fussing, I put Tessa in her booster seat and buckle her in so she won't fall out.

"Mommy's coming," I say when my baby really starts crying. I pick her up and recognize the smell of a dirty diaper. I quickly change it then put her in the sling and sit down next to Tessa. Tobias sets a plateful of casserole, orange segments, and buttered toast in front of Tyler and kisses his head then gives me an identical plate.

"Would you like some coffee, love?" he asks when he sets the sippy cup of milk down beside Tyler's plate.

"I'd love one," I say. He finally sits down after he pours us each a steaming mug but he picks at the food in front of him. I don't want to say too much in front of the kids, especially Tyler but I need to let him know I'm here for him. I reach out and cover his hand with mine, and he looks up at me. "Thank you for breakfast." I give him a warm smile and it takes a minute but he finally returns it.

"I'm sorry my mood isn't better," he says. "You four deserve my best."

"Everything is going to be okay," I say.

"Is it?" he says just barely above a whisper. After we finish eating, I take Tessa into the living room and ask Tyler to play with her then put Peanut back in her bassinet to finish her nap then I go back into the kitchen. I walk up beside Tobias who looks lost in thought and lean up against the counter and put my hand on his back.

"Talk to me," I say. "I didn't insist in front of the kids but I'm insisting now." He moves and wraps his arms around me.

"Do you ever dream of a different life?" he murmurs into my hair. I know I stiffen in his arms. Is he having second thoughts about me and the kids? He must read my mind because he pulls back and looks down at me. "I wasn't talking about us or our kids. I was talking about our faction, our jobs, our responsibilities. I'm worried about Tori. Where is she? Did something happen to her like happened to Frankie or worse yet was she involved in his assault. I'm concerned that something could happen to Will or Christina. Whoever is doing this seems to be working their way through Dauntless leadership one at a time. And I'm worried sick that something will happen to you or our kids. If we didn't take these jobs none of this would be happening."

"You don't know that," I say. "If this is revenge for Peter's death they would have come after us no matter what. Maybe that's what this is. They think we hurt their friend so they're targeting ours."

"Sam wasn't our friend," he says.

"I know," I say. "I've always thought that she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I don't exactly know why but it's how I've felt from the moment we were told about her death."

"I have a confession to make," he says as he tucks my hair behind my ear. "The only reason I want you in my office is so I can keep an eye on you and Peanut. I've already assigned two guards to the daycare center to watch over Tyler and Tessa. If I thought we could get any work done with them in my office also, I'd keep them with us, too."

"I figured that was the reason," I say as I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck. "Don't worry, if I get too tired, I'll lie down on the couch." He lowers his mouth to mine and kisses me soundly until we hear Tyler having trouble with his sister. Tobias lets me go with a groan, and we walk into the living room. Tyler has ahold of Tessa's feet and is pulling her back to him. She seems to be on the verge of a meltdown.

"You better let her go," Tobias says, "because she's getting mad."

"She like it. She laughin'." He refuses to let go and she lets out a grunt and starts crying, which wakes up Teagan. He lets her go, and she takes off. Tobias scoops her up while I get Peanut out of the bassinet.

"Next time you need to listen to me," Tobias says to Tyler. "She doesn't like to be held onto like that. She probably thought of it as a game at first but then she didn't like it. Okay?"

"Otay," he pouts.

"Alright," he says. "It's time to go to daycare. You better say goodbye to Mommy." He runs over to me and throws his arms around my neck.

"Careful of your sister," I say. I move the sling and show him Peanut. "Can you tell Teagan bye." He kisses her little head as he tells her goodbye.

"Bye, Mommy," he says. "I see you tonight." I wrap one arm around him and give him a big hug then pepper his face with soft kisses until he's giggling loudly.

"I love you, Buddy," I say. "I'll see you tonight." I release him and get up and move to Tobias. I take Tessa out of his arms and sit her on my hip. She's a little whiny but she smiles at me when I give her kisses. "You be good, little one. Mommy loves you so much." I hand her back to her father and he gives me a quick kiss.

"Please stay here until I come back," he says.

"I will," I say. "I love you, Tobias. I love all three of you, and I'll see you soon." I watch them descend the stairs until I can no longer see them then go back inside after making sure the door is locked. Peanut starts displaying all the cues that tell me she's hungry so I sit down, put my feet up on the ottoman, and nurse her while I wait for Tobias' return.

I watch my daughter as she gets her belly full, and I try to figure out if we've missed anything. Is Tori another victim or is she somehow involved in what's been going on? Why was Frankie targeted? Is it because he's Tori's boyfriend or because he knows something? And how is he? Will he succumb to the new serum or will he be able to magically fight it off, if in fact that's what happened to him?

"Tris, love, wake up." I open my eyes and find the most handsome face in the world hovering over me. It takes a couple seconds to realize that I must have fallen asleep while nursing Peanut. I yawn and sit a little straighter.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep," I say as I take Peanut who is fast asleep too out of the sling. The moment I jostle her she starts crying. I put her to my shoulder so I can burp her. "Did you say something to me?" I look at Tobias.

"I should leave you here to sleep," he says with a chuckle. "You're hallucinating."

"You're not funny," I say. "How long have you been gone?"

"A little over an hour," he says. "I stopped by the infirmary before coming home to get you and Peanut."

"Is there any news on Frankie?" I ask.

"He's a hell of a fighter. He's in critical but stable condition."

"Is he awake?" I ask as I see if Peanut is still hungry but she doesn't seem interested.

"No, he's unconscious," he says.

"Did you talk to Zander? What are his chances of making it?"

"He's not optimistic. He's surprised he's lasted this long with the level of serum in his bloodstream," he says. "I know I told you I wanted you with me but would you rather stay here and rest?" He caresses Peanut's head but she's already asleep again. "I think you're just as tired as our little Peanut here."

"I am but I'm not willing to give up spending extra time with you just so I can sleep. Maybe I'll take a nap after I feed her again. My body is used to that," I say. "Plus, whether you really want to admit it or not, you need my help. We have to have all hands on deck right now. It's important."

"I can't argue with you, mainly because you're right but mostly because it does no good," he says with a smirk that weakens my knees. I return his smile, and he helps me out of the chair and into his arms.

"Don't squish our daughter," I mumble against his lips.

"I won't," he says before deepening our kiss. Teagan starts squirming, and he quickly backs away. "I'm sorry, Peanut. Mommy told me not to squish you." He bends over and kisses her head then leads me down to his office. He must have went to our car earlier also because Tessa's travel sleeper is set up in the only clean corner of the room. I carefully take Teagan out of the sling and gently lay her on her back then proceed to help put his office back together. I gather up hundreds of sheets of paper off the floor and start sorting through them. Thankfully there are identification numbers at the top of each page or the files would be impossible to put back together. I try doing it by hand but realize that using the computer would be much simpler and less time consuming so Tobias gives me access to his desktop.

"Hey, has this computer been checked for viruses or spyware since the break-in?" I ask as I enter another round of numbers.

"No," he says, shaking his head. My fingers stall on the keys.

"What if the purpose of someone breaking in wasn't to _take_ something but to _leave_ something behind?" I ask, moving my hands into my lap. "Have _any_ of the computers from the previous break-ins been looked at?"

"Not that I'm aware of," he says with a sigh then pulls his phone out of his pocket. "Hey, Zeke. Is Avery there … I want you to send her to my office immediately … Have you run diagnostics on the computers to see if there are any foreign code, viruses, or spyware … I didn't think of it. Tris did … Yeah, she's a keeper. Ever disrespect her like you did this morning and you and I will have a problem … I know. We're all on edge … No, no, no. _Avery_. I trust her. Plus Lauren was on the training room footage with Kirsten that we still have to investigate so keep this quiet … Okay, bye."

"Do you think she has enough experience to be handling such a delicate matter?" I ask.

"Probably not but I'd rather trust the person who is running the diagnostics than have it come back and bite us later," he says.

"I'm going to go through these by hand until we know for sure the computers are clean," I say. I get up and head for the couch when there's a knock at the door. I quickly open it and find Avery on the other side. I say hello and motion to Peanut who is sound asleep in the corner, and she nods before going to quietly talk to Tobias. I drown out their conversation as I thoroughly read each sheet of paper in my hand and make a notation as to where it belongs. They seem like random files, almost like whoever did this just opened up random drawers and scattered their contents across the floor.

"You may be on to something, Tris," Tobias says from behind the computer interrupting my train of thought. "I'm taking Avery to Harrison's office to check on something." When my eyes meet his, he looks torn. He obviously doesn't want to leave me and Peanut alone in his office but on the other hand he's excited to have possibly found something helpful. "Will you be alright?" His eyes flicker from mine to the baby and back. Almost on cue she starts fussing.

"Peanut and I will be fine," I say. He walks over to the travel sleeper and picks her up. Even though she's grown, she is still quite small and looks tiny in his hands. He gives her a little peck on the forehead then places her in my arms.

"I'll be back soon," he says as he moves his mouth to mine for a tender kiss. I'm sure he means for it to be quick, too, but his lips linger on mine. My hand rests on his chest, and I feel his heart rate spike. I gently push him away then glance toward Avery as heat seeps into my cheeks.

He leans forward and says, "I'd say I'm sorry but I'm not," causing me to giggle and blush even deeper.

"Behave," I whisper. Peanuts starts crying, and I know she's quite hungry since I fell asleep on her earlier. "Teagan and I will be fine. Go."

"I'll just be down the hallway. Call me if you need me," he says with a smile before walking out the door. I sit back down and put Peanut to my breast. As she nurses my mind is all over the place. I think about Tori and Frankie; Harrison and Sam; Molly, Drew, and the bitch; Kirsten, Lauren, and the other women in the training room but then my mind drifts to Tyler, Tessa, Teagan, and their father. We need to figure this mess out before something happens to someone I can't live without. I tense when I hear a key in the door but relax when Tobias walks in but the look on his face tells me he has more bad news.

"What is it?" I ask then hold my breath, bracing myself for his answer.

"Frankie. He didn't make it."


	72. Chapter 72

Tears wet my eyes when Tobias tells me of Frankie's untimely demise. I knew it was coming but it's still hard to hear. I really don't know why I'm reacting this way. I didn't know the man well even though I spoke to him almost every day over the past six months. Just a nod or a hello here or there, nothing more. He lived two doors down from me, and I can't say which faction he was born into, whether he has a family, if being Dauntless' DJ was his dream job, or if Tori was the love of his life. I just know that he took very good care of himself by jogging every morning no matter the weather. I've seen him go out in snow storms when it was bitingly cold, 90 degree sweltering heat, and torrential downpours. No, I didn't know him well but I can't stop the tears.

"Any word on the search for Tori?" I ask. My voice breaks as I wipe the moisture off my cheeks. We may have had our differences from time to time but she helped me a lot during initiation learn what my divergence was. Without her help, I might not be here.

"Will texted and said they were breaking for lunch but haven't found anything yet," he says.

"Have they searched the chasm to make sure she's not in the river, too?"

"A team has been assigned for after lunch," he says. "Speaking of lunch, let's go home."

"Okay," I say. I get up off the couch and add, "Where's Avery? I don't want her left alone in Harrison's office."

"She and Callen went to the cafeteria," he says. "She's really good at her job even though she's only been doing it for a month. She scanned Harrison's desktop and laptop but didn't find anything. After lunch I'm going to have her check the rest of our devices." He holds the office door open for me and Peanut then makes sure it's locked behind us.

"What are you making me for lunch?" I ask as we climb the stairs to our apartment. He looks at me out of the side of his eyes and a pout forms on his lips.

"I'm feeling a bit used," he says. "I'm beginning to think you only want me for my culinary skills."

"Damn, you found me out," I chuckle. "I married you and gave you three children only because you keep me well fed. I thought I hid it well." Instead of unlocking our front door he grabs ahold of me and tickles my ribs.

"No, no, no, no, no, no," I squeal causing Peanut to jump then start crying. "Look what you did. You woke the baby. Now you're in big trouble, mister." Will and Christina's door flies open, and she jumps into the hallway with a cast iron frying pan held high above her head. She's about to use it on my husband when our eyes meet. The absurdity of the situation hits me like a ton of bricks, and I start laughing almost uncontrollably. I try to stop but it only makes it worse. Tears stream down my face as Tobias rescues Peanut from unsteady grip. "I'm sorry. You just reminded me of that movie Tyler watches from time to time. 'Frying pans? Who knew?'" They both look at me like I've totally lost my mind. Maybe I have. Tobias tries to quiet Teagan but she's wailing loudly now.

"Is she drunk?" Christina slowly asks completely seriously, her brows furrowed. My irrational laughing fit continues until I'm panting so hard I can't breathe. "She shouldn't be drinking when she's nursing."

"I have no idea what's wrong with Tris but she hasn't been drinking," Tobias says as he unlocks our door. "You did look very funny jumping into the hallway with the skillet in your hand."

"I'm sorry," I say taking Peanut back from Tobias. I hold her close to my chest and sway a little and she stops crying. "Mommy didn't mean to go all crazy. I think it's a combination of lack of sleep and stress." I kiss her head softly. "Firstly, thank you for not hitting my husband with that. You could have killed him." I point to the pan she's trying to hide behind her back. "And secondly, where's my future son-in-law?" Christina laughs and Tobias grimaces. He doesn't want to think of either of his daughters dating until they're 30, even if it's in gest.

"Liam is asleep in the apartment," she says motioning to their open door. "I'm sorry for coming after you with my frying pan, Four, but I heard Tris screaming, and I thought she was in trouble. I would have had a more traditional weapon but I didn't have one handy."

"Uh, he was tickling me," I say to Christina and then I turn my attention to Tobias and whisper, "which you will be punished for later."

"I look forward to it," he says.

"I better get back to my boy," Christina says. "Oh, and Tris, we need a girls day … _soon_. I think a full spa treatment is in order and some new clothes. Maybe some dancing at the nightclub with our husbands after."

"That sounds like a great idea," I say. "I'll let you know when Teagan is taking a bottle so I can leave her for more than a couple hours."

"I think I hear Liam," she says as she heads towards her door.

"Good to know you have my back, even if it's with a frying pan," I say with a chuckle. We say goodbye to Christina then go inside our apartment. I put Peanut in her bassinet then collapse onto the couch, exhausted.

"I'm not sure we ever decided on lunch," he says.

"Anything is fine," I say as I let my eyes slide shut. "You know maybe we should consider giving Peanut a bottle to see if she'll take it. It would be nice for us to go out to dinner just the two of us. Not now of course but in a month or so."

"The bottle or the dinner?" he asks as he covers me with the fuzzy gray throw.

"The dinner," I mumble. When I wake up the apartment is quiet and there's a note next to a sandwich, chips, and bottle of water on the coffee table. I sit up and get my bearings then pick up the note.

VI

I hope you had a good nap. Peanut's with me in my office. I left you some lunch. I'll see you soon. I love you.

IV

That man is such a gift. I pick up the turkey sandwich with Swiss and savor every bite. I'm surprised that I was able to fall asleep now that I know how hungry I am. I quickly work my way through the delicious food he left me then drain the bottle of water. After I put the dishes in the dishwasher, I freshen up in the powder room then go downstairs to Tobias' office. I slept for a little over two hours so I imagine Peanut will need nursed again soon. I knock on his door and walk into his office. It's a lot more orderly than it was the last time I was in here. The floor is clear of all debris and everything is in its place except for the mountain of paperwork on his desk that needs to be sorted through.

"Thanks for letting me sleep and for having lunch ready when I woke up. That was very thoughtful. I have the best husband in the world. By the way, I didn't _only_ marry you for your cooking skills," I chuckle as I look toward the portable sleeper but I'm surprised to find it empty. When Tobias stands up I notice the sling stretched tightly across his chest with Peanut's head sticking out of the fabric. "You look good with our daughter on your chest." I caress her head then give her a soft kiss. "I doubt that will ever fit me again." I run my fingers along the sling.

"I'll buy you a new one," he says, kissing my head.

"Has Avery been through your computer yet?" I ask. "I don't look forward to going through this stack of paperwork without it."

"No, she's in Will's office right now," he says. "And before you ask, she assured me that she didn't need a babysitter because _she_ was the babysitter." He chuckles a little then sighs. "Will called and the chasm has been thoroughly searched. The only thing found was a leather jacket. Will thinks it looks like the jacket Tori wears all the time but since so many woman have the same jacket, it's hard to tell."

"Tobias, where does the river go?" I ask. He takes my hand and leads me to the couch. Peanut starts whining so he takes her out of the now stretched-out sling and hands her to me. "Are you hungry, Peanut?" I caress her cheek, and she tries to capture my fingertip between her searching lips.

"She's definitely hungry," Tobias says as he gets up off the couch. He goes to the door and flips the lock as I start to nurse her. He sits back down next to me and puts his arm around me, and we watch our daughter.

"So do you know?"

"Oh, the river," he says. "I don't think anyone knows. If you go too far, there's a whirlpool that will pull you down. That's why swimming isn't advised. Apparently there have been problems in the past with reckless members risking their lives in the water."

"Hhm. I didn't know that," I say. "Have there ever been any disappearances here in Dauntless related to the chasm or not that have gone unsolved?"

"Not that I know of," he says. "According to the people I've talked with and some reports I've read, from time to time over the years members have gone missing but they've all been accounted for. Some have suicided into the chasm, some have left of their own accord to become factionless, and a few have died throughout the city while being reckless but there's always been an explanation."

"Where is she?" I sigh as I put Peanut up to my shoulder to burp her. She holds her head up and looks at Tobias.

"I wish I knew, love." He pulls his phone out of his pocket when we hear it ring. He looks at the caller ID and frowns. "Unknown caller." He stares at it as it rings three more times before finally answering it. "Who is this?" he says, not kindly. "Edward? How the hell do you have this number?" He sighs then listens intently. "I'm going to put you on speaker. I want Tris to hear." He holds his phone between us and hits a button. I hear a whoosh of air like he's on a train. "Go ahead."

"I need to meet but I can't come there," he says. "They might be watching me."

"Who might be watching you?" I ask.

"Molly and her lap dog," he says. "The bitch is crazy." That I figured out on my own. "I have some information for you but I think meeting face-to-face would be safer … for all of us." I look at Tobias and know he's thinking the same thing I am.

"How do we know this isn't a trick?" he asks.

"You don't," Edward says. "But I owe your wife a debt of gratitude for helping me after that snake Hayes stabbed me in the eye. I'm tired of hearing how much of a saint he was. I have some information that you might find helpful. Do you want it or not?"

"Yes," I say. "Where shall we meet?"

"Tris!" Tobias says putting his hand over the phone. "I'm not sure this is a good idea and you are _not_ meeting with him even if I decide to go."

"I'll only meet if she's there," Edward says, although his voice sounds muffled.

"I'm not putting my wife at risk," Tobias snarls into the phone.

" _Four_ ," I say, enunciating the name he hates coming from my lips. "I have an idea of where to meet that won't put anyone in danger. The Ferris wheel." He stares at me for a moment while I put Teagan to my other breast.

"Do you think you're being followed right now?" Tobias asks.

"I've been jumping on and off trains all day making sure I haven't been tailed."

"Go to the Ferris wheel," he says. "Tell the operator your name. He'll put you in a car and you'll stop at the bottom when Tris and I get there."

"What do I do if I see Molly, Drew, or their new redheaded lackey?" he asks.

"Leave immediately," Tobias says. "How long before you can get there?"

"Um, half-an-hour," he says.

"We'll meet you soon after," Tobias says. "And, Edward, your life depends on this _not_ being a trap." He gets up off the couch and hangs up then immediately makes another call. He repeats the same information he gave Edward to the mystery caller. When he hangs up I know I'm in trouble. He stands with his back to me, running his hand through his hair. I study him carefully. His posture is stick straight and his neck and ears are bright red. He's pissed.

"Can I say anything to make you not so mad?" I ask. He stiffly shakes his head. Peanut finishes nursing, and I put her to my shoulder. After a couple pats, she burps. I get up and gently lie her on the couch then go to Tobias. "If you don't want me to go, Tobias, I won't." He slowly turns and looks my way, obviously confused. "I shouldn't have told him we would meet without talking it over with you first."

"You don't want to go with me?"

"Of course I do," I say. "I have a strong desire to see this through. I don't exactly know why and I could be crazy but I feel like you and I are personally under attack, and I want to put an end to it. I'm not going to go as far as to say I trust Edward but he's never given me a reason to mistrust him."

"He isn't as innocent as he seems," he says.

"What's that mean?" I ask.

"I only know rumors, nothing concrete," he says. "It really doesn't matter. What are we going to do with Peanut?"

"You're letting me come?"

"Do you need my permission?" he asks. "I'm your husband, not your father. I wish your first instinct was self-preservation but we both know it's not. You do what you want. So what are we going to do with our daughter? We've got to be quick about this. She'll need nursed again in less than three hours."

"Christina," I say. I pick Peanut up off the couch and Tobias gets the diaper bag and we hurry upstairs. I knock on her door and am about to do it again when she opens it.

"Are you alright?" she asks.

"Can you watch Teagan for a few hours?" I ask. "I wouldn't be asking if it wasn't important. I wish I could take the time to explain but we really need to leave now if I'm going to get back in time to feed her."

"Of course," she says. "Is it about Tori?"

"I think so but I'm not entirely sure," I say. I kiss Peanut who is sleeping peacefully in my arms. "Mommy loves you. I wish I didn't have to leave you but I'll be back very soon. You won't even notice that I'm gone." Tobias kisses her temple and caresses her head while he tells her he loves her then I hand her off to Christina. "Don't let Liam and Peanut get married while we're gone." I give her a one-arm hug then head out the door followed closely by Tobias. I don't remember having these suffocating feelings when I left Tessa the first time. I feel like something heavy is sitting on my chest.

"Hey, wait up," I say having to jog to keep up with him. "Where are we going?"

"The train," he says. He stops in his tracks, and I run into him then stumble backwards. I'm sure I would have fallen if he hadn't immediately reached out and caught me, keeping me upright. "Are you up for it?"

"I think so," I say. "You'll help me right?" He sighs. It's long and drawn out, a bit melodramatic. Then he grabs me and crashes his mouth into mine for a too short fiery kiss full of pent up frustration, desire, rage, worry, and so many more emotions. He releases my lips as quickly as he captured them and I sway against him, dazed.

"Sometimes you are absurd," he says, rolling his eyes. "Of course I'll help you. Not only do I love you more than anything but I don't want anything to happen to you." He runs his hand down my face then takes my hand. "Come on. We need to get there and back as quickly as possible." He practically drags me behind him. My legs are moving faster than they have in a long time, and I start to feel pulling and discomfort in my lower abdomen. I silently pray that when we make it to the tracks that we'll have to wait for the next train but I'm out of luck because there in the distance a headlight stares at me like an evil cyclops.

"I hope I'm up for this," I say as we start running when the front of the train speeds past us. Tobias jumps on with minimal effort then holds his arm out to me. I push my body nearly past its breaking point then grab ahold of the handle on the side of the train with my left hand and Tobias with my right. He practically lifts me into the car singlehandedly. I hold onto him while I feel my hammering heart begin to slow.

"How are you, love?" he asks. I take a quick physical inventory then groan.

"Sore, tired, stiff," I say. I think he's leading me to the bench but instead he goes to the end of the car. He slides down the wall then pulls me down until I'm straddling his lap, facing him. I stare into his eyes for a moment before I wrap my arms around his neck and lay my head on his shoulder. I feel his hands on my lower back through my nursing shirt, and I feel safe and loved. "Do you know what this reminds me of?"

"The last time we were of a train?" he asks.

"The date and the lovemaking are very nice memories but the labor kind of overshadows them both," I say, pulling back to look him in the eye. "I was thinking about the first time we were on a train alone. We were trying to figure out a mystery then, too."

"I remember this," he rubs his hands up and down my thighs, "and the making out more. I think I'm just going to remember the good times from now on."

"I hated leaving Peanut," I blurt out. "I don't remember feeling that way about Tessa."

"You did though," he says. "You hated leaving her. It made you feel selfish." Those feelings do seem vaguely familiar. "How are you feeling now? I hope that I didn't push you too far and set back your recovery. If you start hurting, let me know and I'll get you to the hospital." I take his face between my hands and draw his mouth to mine. I thrust my tongue between his parted lips and tangle it together with his. When the train dips, we know we're close to the Navy Pier, and we get to our feet. I'm standing by the open door wondering what the best way to jump would be when Tobias sweeps me up into his arms.

"Oh, my God!" I say. "You scared the crap out of me, Tobias Eaton."

"I'm sorry, love," he says, trying to hide a chuckle. "I'm going to get us off the train." I immediately wrap my arms tightly around his neck and this time I not only hear his laughter but I feel it, too. "I remember the first time I tried to get you to do this. You were being very stubborn."

"In my defense, I did think you were cheating on me," I say, pouting at the memory of the day I met his mother. He kisses my cheek bringing me back to the present. "I like jumping out of the train with you. It's like flying."

"Well, hold on tight because here we go," he says. I tighten my grip around his neck and he does the same with me. He takes two steps back then hurls us through the open train door. That moment of weightlessness as we hang suspended in midair is just as exhilarating this time as it was the first time we did it. He lands on his feet without a stumble, being carried forward a few steps by momentum. He sits me on my feet when we finally come to a stop and takes my hand then we head toward the popular destination. "We need to do a good job of making anyone who sees us think that we're just taking a break this afternoon." I move my hand up and wrap it around his arm and rest my head against his shoulder.

"Is this casual enough?" I ask. He chuckles and kisses my temple. We hurry to our destination but an onlooker would just see a happy couple who can't wait to be alone. I scan our surroundings for familiar faces or strangers taking a particular interest on our way to the Ferris wheel but don't see any, and I'm sure that Tobias is doing the same. When we reach the operator he nods at us in knowing.

"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Eaton," he says. "I'll have your favorite gondola for you momentarily."

"Thank you," Tobias says.

"I think this was my favorite wedding present," I say, although I'm mainly thinking out loud. "Mom and Dad paying for the wedding was generous, the hair clip was sentimental and I look forward to handing it down one day, the infinity jewelry was perfect but the Ferris wheel is something we get to enjoy again and again. Every time I look at it I think of you following me the night of capture the flag."

"Best decision I ever made," he says, kissing my temple. "Looks like our ride is here." While the wheel slows to a crawl, my eyes scan the small crowd but thankfully I don't see any factionless members.

"Does the control room have eyes on the trio right now?" I whisper as the gondola stops right in front of us. I look toward the basket but it looks empty.

"They're supposed to," he says. "Come on, love." He takes my hand and leads me into the car. When we sit down opposite the door, movement catches my eye, and I see Edward crouched down behind the metal door. We don't speak until we're at least a couple stories up.

"Thank you for coming," he says. He stands up and stretches his legs then sits on the bench opposite up.

"What information do you have for us?" Tobias asks, very much Four right now. He has one arm protectively around me, and the other is caressing the knife handle sticking out of his boot. Although I don't think we'll need a weapon, I'm glad he brought one.

"You're not pregnant anymore," he says pointing at my flat but still soft midsection.

"We don't mean to be rude, Edward, but we don't have time for chit chat," I say. "I've got to get home to our baby."

"What do you want to tell us?" Tobias asks.

"You have a leak in Dauntless," he says.


	73. Chapter 73

I glance up at Tobias for a fraction of a second before moving my eyes back toward Edward. Unfortunately, we've known for quite some time that Molly and Drew had an accomplice inside a faction but it wasn't until very recently that we learned that the coconspirator is actually from inside Dauntless, which is very disconcerting for all of us. Although we have a few suspects, it's irritating that we don't know the person's identity yet. Maybe Edward's identification will point our investigation in the right direction.

"What do you mean we have a leak?" Tobias asks, acting like this is the first we've heard of such a thing. I have to give him props. My husband is a very good actor. "Who is it?" I hold my breath, anticipating his answer. This has been a long time coming.

"I don't actually have a name for you," he says somewhat apologetically. I blow the breath out and hang my head, frustrated. Did we really leave Peanut to come all this way for information we already know?

"You dragged Tris away from our daughter and me from a critical situation at Dauntless for an I don't know?" Tobias sarcastically asks.

"I'm sorry," Edward says. "I didn't mean to mislead you. I've never actually _seen_ the person Molly is working with. I wish I did that way I could give you a name."

"So what _do_ you know, Edward?" I ask. I'm anxious to get this over with and get home to Peanut in time to feed her.

"When Molly is on the phone, she's extremely careful not to use the other person's name," he says. "Well careful may be too nice of a way to put it, paranoid is more like it. She sees spies everywhere she looks." He rolls his eyes but his comment reminds me of the update Shauna gave us this morning. Josh and Matt think that she's on to them. That could be true or maybe she's just being extraordinarily cautious in her movements, which is not good for us. "She talks to them on her phone every day, sometimes twice a day, and meets with them at least twice a week."

"I have to ask, where did you get your phone?" Tobias asks, totally changing the subject. We've wondered about this since we saw Molly talking on a phone at the park during initiation. "Factionless aren't supposed to have access to them."

"My father gave me mine," he says, sounding a bit melancholy. "He slips me extra food and clothing also from time to time. I may have accepted my fate but it's still a difficult life."

"Do you know where Molly got her phone?" I ask.

"I don't but I imagine her friend gave it to her," he says.

"How long has Molly been talking to this person?" Tobias asks.

"I first noticed her on the phone with someone just days after she and Drew showed up at the hotel after they washed out of Dauntless," he says.

"The hotel?" Tobias asks just before I can do the same.

"Oh, it's just what a lot of us ex-Dauntless members call home," he says. "I guess we have the tendency to stick together. Like I said, this life isn't easy, and it takes a toll on a person's psyche. Being with like-minded people helps. I _chose_ to become factionless instead of letting Eric kick me out anyway because of some perceived weakness and that has made it easier for me. As for Molly, Drew, and the redhead they each blame the two of you in one way or another for their circumstances. I don't think they'll ever accept it.

"Molly and Drew are both convinced that the two of you somehow cheated during the simulations and that, Tris, you slept with Four to get the ranking you did." I sigh. Not this accusation again. "She tells anyone who will listen that she had proof but no one would do anything about it."

"Yeah, we know," I say. I can see this shocks him. "It doesn't matter that it's not true, she's convinced herself it is."

"Well, she is certifiable," he says. "I thought she was crazy when she first showed up at the hotel but you should have seen her after Peter died. Good riddance! She absolutely lost it. She wants your head on a platter, Tris. Our leaders wanted to kick her out because of her irrational behavior."

"Wait, you have leaders?" Tobias asks. Edward looks like he's just said too much.

"Every part of society, whether it's recognized by the city or not, needs authority figures," he says. "We have leaders, laws, and consequences just like the factions do. In fact, your mom was one of our leaders, Four. I think that even though she had passed away her influence is what allowed Molly to stay after Peter's death. Her opinion held a lot of weight and for some unknown reason, your mother liked Molly." I always knew that Evelyn was certifiable. "And speaking of your mother, Molly also holds you both accountable for taking her away from us, as well."

"What?" I blurt out. "Evelyn died during childbirth. How is that our fault? We didn't want her to die. She was Four's mother." I may not have liked the woman but I would have gladly put up with her shit to save him the pain of her leaving him for the second time.

"Molly's unstable," he says. "If she gets a paper cut, she blames you. As for the redhead, she says she was unfairly kicked out of Dauntless because she had an affair with Four." He scoffs at the notion, which surprises me some. Noticing my reaction he says, "I've seen the way he looks at you, Tris. There's no way he'd cheat. She must be delusional."

"She is. She was kicked out of Dauntless because she's not the right kind of person we want in the faction. Plus she fabricated photos of her and me in compromising positions. I won't tolerate someone messing with my marriage," Tobias gruffly says. He puts his arm around me and kisses my temple. "We appreciate the information, Edward, but we already knew almost everything you have told us so far."

"What I haven't told you is that she has a plan. Tris, she thinks you are living the life that was meant for her. She wants her friends and status back, and she wants you alone, miserable, and broken, which is how she views herself. I could be wrong but what I think it boils down to is Peter and the fact that she was in love with him. The way she views it is that if you hadn't cheated during initiation, you would have been made factionless and Peter would still be alive because he wouldn't have had a choice but to give up his strange obsession with you. Whatever you do, watch your back. She's going after your friends first. If I'm not mistaken, that part of her plan is already in motion." Oh, poor Harrison and Frankie, casualties of a delusional woman. "The second part of her plan is to eliminate your extended family." _What_? "She sees it as an eye for an eye. She has friends watching Erudite as well as Abnegation." My eyes fly to Tobias'. I had no idea that Caleb, Cara, Mom, and Dad were in danger, possibly Marcus, too, not that that matters to us. Then something hits me like a ton of bricks.

"Oh, my God!" My hand flies to my mouth. "She knows about Jeffrey and Laurel," I say mentioning Tobias' younger brother and sister who were both at Evelyn's funeral. Tobias stiffens beside me. I doubt he thought his brother and sister, who he really doesn't know very well would be in danger because of this strange situation.

"The final part of her plan is to eliminate your happy family," he says. "The psycho redhead thinks she can swoop in and take Four, leaving you all alone, Tris."

"My kids?" I barely choke out, trying to keep the terror I'm feeling out of my voice. I'm not sure I succeed.

"They've never mentioned hurting your kids," he says. "Although, they do talk about taking everything away from you. I'd keep them close just to be on the safe side until you have her in custody."

"Do you have any direct evidence of what she's planning?" Tobias asks.

"Evidence? No, I don't. I can't even tell you exactly what she has planned. I've told you what I know," he says. "I do have her cell phone number though. Maybe it could help you." He pulls a dilapidated phone out of his pocket and scrolls through his contacts then rattles off the number as Tobias enters it into his then puts it away.

"This helps a lot," Tobias says. He looks at Edward for a time, clearly mulling something over in his head. "Why are you telling us all this?" He obviously doesn't trust him.

"I have no grudge against either of you," he says with a shrug. "As a matter of fact, if it weren't for Tris I might not be here. The doctor in the infirmary told me if the knife had been pulled out like I wanted that more than likely I would have bled to death. I may have been an ass to Peter, but I don't think I deserved a butter knife to the eye."

"He didn't stab you because you were in the way of what he wanted?" I ask.

"I'm sure that was part of the reason," he says, blushing lightly. He stares off into the distance through the grating. "Let's just say that I used to be just as _driven_ … some might call it ruthless… if not more so than Peter. I didn't take into consideration a person's feelings when I wanted something. Unfortunately, I stepped on the wrong _bug_ along the way. I have regrets but if it didn't happen, I wouldn't have changed my life for the better." I know I must look confused because he laughs lightly. "I wasn't the nice guy I appeared to be, Tris. I played a stupid prank. It cost me an eye and my new faction. I think it was a hefty price to pay but it is what it is." He obviously doesn't want to elaborate for unknown reasons so I don't push it. I'll ask Tobias if he knows what he's talking about. When I look out of the car, I realize we are close to the ground again.

"Is there anything else you can think of?" Tobias asks. "What you think is a small, insignificant detail could blow the case wide open."

"You know, come to think of it, the redhead meets with someone a lot, too," he says. "I've never seen their face but I'm 75% sure it's a man from Abnegation." It's damn near impossible to mistake Abnegation for any other faction so 75% seems strange.

"75%?" Tobias asks, obviously thinking the same thing as me.

"I've only seen him in the dark in the factionless sector," he says. "He's dressed in dark gray, which as you know is a Dauntless color, too. But it's the way he carries himself that screams 'Stiff.' Sorry."

"What does he look like?" I ask, just knowing he's about to describe Marcus.

"Definitely older than her," he says, "but I've never gotten a good look at his face. Something about him seems familiar to me though but I don't know why." As the car is slowing he says, "One more thing. I always thought Molly was the queen of crazy until that psycho redheaded bitch showed up. There's something seriously wrong with her. I can't quite pinpoint what it is but ... I think she's the dangerous one. Molly's the type to tell you to your face that she's going to come after you so you're prepared when she makes her move but the redhead, she'll play nice to your face then when you're least expecting it, cut your heart out."

"She must not have shown us her true colors yet," I say to Tobias. I hate the bitch but the only crazy I've seen is her throwing herself at a married man. _Whore_!

"I'd watch your backs then," Edward says. He ducks down as the car comes to a stop.

"Thank you," I quietly say, not looking his way in case someone is watching us. "We appreciate the information. Watch yourself. Three people are dead and one is missing. We don't want you to be another casualty." Tobias and I get up and exit the gondola hand-in-hand.

"That was a lovely ride," Tobias says. "We need to take advantage of your wedding gift more often." I know this conversation is really for the sake of any eavesdroppers nearby but I'll take it. I once again wrap my arms around his and lay my head against his shoulder.

"I wish we could have stayed longer but Peanut will be hungry when we get home," I say. "How are we doing on time?" He pulls his phone out of his pocket and stares at the screen.

"We should get home just in the nick of time," he says. "Will called." He plays the message back and sighs, frustrated. "There's still no sign of Tori."

"How far can a person get in four-and-a-half minutes?" I ask as we arrive at the train tracks.

"What?" he asks, looking down at me with furrowed brows.

"Am I boring you, baby?" I tease as I go up on my tiptoes and kiss his cheek.

"Sorry," he sighs. "I guess I was thinking about what we learned from Edward and wondering where Tori could be. What did you ask?"

"How far do you think a person can get in four-and-a-half minutes? That's how long the cameras were off, so how far can a person get in that time?"

"I guess it depends on what time of day it is and where you are at the time," he says. "I wish we could figure out where she went missing from."

"Do you think the control room could track her movements from earlier in the day?" I ask.

"Yeah," he says with a sigh. "It seems like we just keep piling more and more on them, though, and I just wonder how effective their work is right now."

"I understand what you're saying," I say. "What can we do to help?"

"I really wish I knew, love," he says. "This entire situation is a hell of a mess. Everyone in the control room is working extra shifts. I now have the entire technical staff working on the surveillance footage, too. I don't know what else to do."

"What about setting up a temporary command center in the conference room and bringing in more guards off the fence?" I ask. "I noticed that before you brought all the programmers into the control room that it was getting crowded. I can't imagine what it's like now."

"That's a really good idea," he says. "It will at least give everyone space to work. I'll talk about it with Zeke and the others when we get back to Dauntless." When I see the train in the distance, I sigh. "Not looking forward to going home?"

"Going home? Definitely. I miss Peanut terribly," I say, readying myself to jump on the moving train. "Getting on the train? Not really. I'm a little sore now."

"I'm sorry, love. If I could get you home on time another way, I would," he says.

"I know," I say. I kiss his cheek then take off running when the engine reaches us. Getting on the train is easier the second time around. After I catch my breath I slide down the wall opposite the open door and sit next to Tobias.

"Do you believe what he said?" he asks. I take his hand in mine and study the lines and callouses on his palm and fingertips.

"I don't know," I finally say. "He didn't really tell us much. We already knew Molly was working with someone from Dauntless, although it was horrifying to hear that she might target more of our friends and our family. We have to warn everyone. I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to someone I love because of me."

"It wouldn't be our fault," he says. "It would be Molly's."

"Let's just pick her up and drag her ass to Candor and interrogate her," I say. "I want to know who's helping her, and I want to know now." He drapes his arm across my shoulder and pulls me toward him then runs his fingers through my hair.

"We'll figure all this out. I promise but you know that we don't have anything concrete to accuse her of and after Marcus being able to lie under truth serum, we can't go to Jack Kang without corroborating evidence."

"I know you're right. I'm just stressed," I say, staring out the train door at the passing scenery. "Who do you think the bitch is meeting with? That's something else we need to keep tabs on."

"I have to say, I thought he was going to describe my father there for a minute," he says.

"I did, too," I say.

"It would make sense," he says. "I always wondered how she knew my name. If he has something to do with setting her loose on us, I don't know what I'll do, Tris. I can't take much more from him."

"I don't know what I would do either," I say. "He already tried to take me away from you forever. If he's behind her antics, he's trying to break us up. Am I really that horrible of a daughter-in-law?"

"I know why he doesn't like you very much," he says. "You don't back down from him. If he gets in your face, you stand your ground and give him hell right back. He's not used to that. I love that about you. He doesn't. It undermines his control. It took me meeting you to stand up to my father. He doesn't like me defying his wishes."

"He hasn't been in contact for a while," I say.

"He dropped by my office shortly after Peanut was born wanting to see her but I told him no," he says, watching me out of the corner of his eye. I think he's weary of my reaction.

"You could have told me," I say.

"I didn't want to upset you."

"I don't want him upsetting _you_ , Tobias," I say. "You can always tell me anything. I'm sorry if I come across as bitchy or whiny at times. I don't mean too."

"You bitchy? Never," he says with a twinkle in his eyes.

"You're lucky I don't have PMS, mister, or I might have thrown you from the train."

"I know all about you and hormones," he says. "If we could find a way to bottle them, we would have a weapon of mass destruction."

"I love you, too," I say, rolling my eyes at him. He gently grasps my chin between his thumb and fingers and turns it toward him. He presses his lips to mine and kisses me softly for a time before he coaxes them apart with his tongue then makes love to my mouth. "Mmm."

"God, I love you," he says, his lips still on mine. I glance toward the door and see that we're close to Dauntless.

"I love you, Tobias Eaton," I say. "We better get ready to jump. We're near the compound." He gets up then pulls me to my feet then immediately lifts me up into his arms.

"Ready to see our daughter, Mrs. Eaton?" I nod. I know I saw her just a short time ago but I miss her so much. He gives me a quick peck on the mouth then tightens his grip on me as he takes a couple steps back. "Let's get home, love."


	74. Chapter 74

I put my feet up on the ottoman and relax into the plush microfiber club chair as I gaze down at Peanut as she nurses. Tobias and I got back to Dauntless just in the nick of time. When I knocked on Will and Christina's door, I could hear my baby crying, and I felt horrible for leaving her for any amount of time. The minute I took her in my arms she quieted down but made it very clear that she was hungry and wasn't going to wait anymore. I thanked Christina, told her we had a lot to talk about, and then excused myself to our apartment.

I wanted to go back to Tobias' office with him after I picked up Peanut because we have so much work to do but after some coaxing, he convinced me to come home. Actually, it didn't take much persuading. After jumping on and off the train, not only am I exhausted but I'm quite sore. I imagine I'll take a nap once Peanut goes back to sleep but right now her blue eyes are wide and bright, staring intently back at me.

"How did you do with Aunty Christina today, Peanut?" She told me that my girl was a perfect little angel until a couple minutes before I arrived. Of course, she slept most of the time but after she woke up, she put her on the floor with Liam. He loves my daughter. I may tease about them getting married one day but we're definitely going to have to keep an eye on them when they reach their teenage years. "Did you miss me because I sure missed you? But Mommy and Daddy needed to take care of a little business. I'd tell you about it but I don't want to bore you. You probably don't understand but just in case you do. I'll tell you about the Ferris wheel instead." I proceed to tell her the story of her father following me the night of capture the flag and him having it refurbished as a wedding gift. "I can't wait until Mommy and Daddy get to take you up in the big wheel but we'll have to wait until next spring unless we have a really mild winter." After she finishes, she quickly falls to sleep. I take her upstairs and gently place her in the bassinet after I change her diaper. I should check in with Christina and Tobias but I'm just too tired. I pull the quilt back on the bed then crawl in.

My eyes flutter open, and I take a deep, cleaning breath. It takes a second to realize that a large muscular body is pressed up against mine. I feel his hand resting on my hip, and I lay mine on top then lace our fingers together. He brushes my hair out of the way with the tip of his nose then presses his lips just below my ear, causing me to sigh.

"I didn't mean to wake you up," Tobias says. "You looked so peaceful lying here that I just had to join you."

"Have you been here long?" I ask, releasing his hand and rolling over with a groan.

"You've done too much today," he says with a frown.

"I'm going to say something I seldom say, you're right." I giggle before I complete the statement.

"It's really not funny," he says, concern and … fear on his face. I reach up and caress his tense cheek then run my hand into his hair. He slowly moves his mouth to mine for a tender kiss.

"I know," I breathlessly say when our lips part. "You never answered me." He furrows his brows at me. "How long have you been here?"

"I haven't been here long, just a couple minutes," he says. "I have an idea. Let me know what you think? You're not up for going all the way to the cafeteria for supper so why don't we have everyone here? We can get several pizzas and some drinks, maybe even a couple cakes so everyone is happy. We need to warn our friends about what Edward told us without giving away the fact that we talked to him."

"How do you suggest we do that?" I ask as I rest my head back on my pillow. I'm still exhausted. Maybe I wasn't asleep long.

"We'll speak in hypotheticals," he says. "We'll tell them that we assume we are the targets of Molly and Drew's revenge and that we don't want any more of our friends hurt … or worse."

"I agree," I say. "It's a good excuse to get everyone together. They'll all want to see Peanut, and Tyler will want to eat cake with Uriah."

"I'm glad you like my idea," he says as he rolls over onto his back and takes his phone out of his pocket. He sends a mass text to our friends inviting them over at 7 tonight for supper. I look over my shoulder at the clock and see that it's only a little after 5 p.m. I wasn't asleep long.

"Did you have a productive afternoon?" I ask. He rolls back up on his side and stares down at me. "Any word on Tori?"

"No, nothing new from Will," he says. "He's going to start a grid search at first light tomorrow with the help of Shauna, Simon, and Tony. I told them about your four-and-a-half minute comment. It gave Will an idea. He hasn't clued me in on what it is yet but it definitely put a spark in him."

"Hhm. I wonder what he got out of that thought." I ponder aloud.

Tobias puts his hand lightly over my cesarean scar and says, "How are you doing? Are you still sore?"

"A little," I say. "But it's not as bad as it was earlier."

"You shouldn't have jumped on the train. I should have gotten the car."

"Don't blame yourself," I say. "I'm the one who ran and jumped on a train and, to tell you the truth, I loved it. It was just as exhilarating and terrifying as the first time. I love the train."

"I should go get the kids," he says. He starts to roll away from me but I grab ahold of him and pull his mouth to mine.

"We have a little time," I say against his lips. I wrap my arms around his neck and knot my fingers in his hair as I kiss him tenderly. He glides his hand from my tummy up and covers my aching breast. He kneads it gently while our tongues tangle then I moan against his mouth when he rolls on top of me.

"You okay?" he asks, leveraging himself with his arms, taking his weight off me.

"Blissfully happy," I say. When Peanut starts whining, we both look toward her bassinet. I wonder momentarily if we woke her and she'll go back to sleep on her own or if she needs me. When she only gets louder, Tobias and I get out of bed. He picks her up but she doesn't quiet down.

"She needs her diaper changed," he says, taking her into the nursery. I follow him and watch him with her from the doorway. Every time I see him with our kids, I fall in love just a little more. "Do you think she's hungry?" He picks her up and brings her to me. She's fussy but I doubt that she's hungry. It's not time. He very gently lays her in my arms, and she immediately quiets down and starts cooing.

"Did you just want your mommy, Peanut?" I ask. "You're going to make your daddy jealous if you keep this up." She stops cooing, stares up at me then smiles a wide toothless grin.

"She has your smile," Tobias says, awed. "I never thought she could be more beautiful but I was wrong. You look just like your beautiful mommy, Peanut." He kisses my temple then I turn my head, seeking his lips. He kisses me for a moment until she starts fussing in my arms again. "You don't want Daddy kissing Mommy either? You're just like your brother." At the mention of our son, we look at the clock. "I've got to go."

"We're going to lie down," I say, hoping to sneak in another hour of sleep before what's sure to be a hectic evening. Tobias kisses me again then Peanut's head before he hurries out the door. I lie down on the bed beside Teagan. I expect her to fall back to sleep but instead she smiles at me from time to time. "Did you learn a new trick and want to show off?" I run my hand over her head until her eyelids start to droop. Instead of closing mine, I gaze down at her. Tobias is right, she's beginning to look more and more like me, and she truly is beautiful. I imagine it's the amount of Tobias in her that does that.

I hear a commotion on the stairs and know that Tyler will be joining us any second. I raise my head and put my finger over my lips, telling him to be quiet, and he stops running and exaggeratedly tiptoes to the bed. I chuckle under my breath as he struggles to climb up onto the mattress. When he finally settles in beside his sister, he kisses her head.

"Hi, Mommy," he whispers.

"Hi, buddy," I quietly say. "Where's Daddy and Tessa?"

"They coming," he says, pointing toward the door just as Tobias comes into view carrying in his arms our little one who is sound asleep.

"Do you know what, Tyler?" He looks back at me as Tobias goes into the nursery. "Teagan smiled today."

"She did?" he excitedly says. "She smile at me like Tess?"

"I bet she'll be smiling at you all the time pretty soon," I say. "Did Daddy tell you we're having friends over tonight for supper?" I sit up on the bed and pick up Peanut who just started whining. I draw her over my arm and rub her back. I don't know why but this calms her every time.

"Look, she smiling," Tyler says, getting his face in hers. I carefully move my arm and sure enough, she has a big grin on her face.

"She's having a happy dream," I say. Tobias comes back into the room, holding Tessa against his chest and sits down on the bed with us. I can tell she's on the verge of waking up and that she's hungry because she's sucking at the air.

"I changed her diaper and she didn't wake up," he says, very proud of himself. I look at my family who's gathered around me on the bed and a warm, fuzzy feeling envelopes me. I think I love these little moments the most of all. I watch as Tessa opens her eyes only to close them again. This goes on for a full five minutes before she keeps her peepers open.

"Hi, Tess," Tyler says as he kisses her cheek. She grabs at his hair but thankfully doesn't get a strong hold before he moves away. She whines loudly then manages to grab her toes and stick them in her mouth.

"Look she got hew feet in hew mouth," Tyler says like it's the funniest thing he's ever seen. "You not 'pose to eat your feet, Tess." She jabber around her toes back at him.

"You did the same thing at her age," Tobias says. "All babies do."

"I did?" he asks, his eyes widening and then he wrinkles his nose in disgust. "That's yucky."

"No, it's not," I say. I look at Tobias and ask, "Do you want to trade?" He smiles then gets up off the bed. He sits Tessa in my lap then very carefully lifts Peanut off my arm. He puts her in the bassinet then lifts Tyler onto his shoulders.

"We're going to go make some iced tea and lemonade," he says.

"Have fun," I say as I put Tessa to my breast. "Did you have a good day, little one? Mommy and Daddy went to the Ferris wheel. I wish it hadn't been for business but we did learn a few things. That's why all our friends are coming over tonight. We need to warn them to watch their backs. We don't want anything to happen to anyone else because of us. If Mommy and Daddy are overprotective until we stop all this nonsense in Dauntless, it's just because we love you, your brother, and your sister more than anything else in this world, and keeping you safe is our number one priority. I think it's time we start looking for a nanny. How would you feel about that?" She stares back at me like she's hanging on my every word. "I know you don't understand any of this but it makes Mommy feel better when I tell you about it. I love you." She continues nursing until I put her up to my shoulder to burp.

"Ma ma ma ma ma ma ma ma," she chants then burps loudly.

"That was a very big burp, little one," I say. "Are Daddy and Tyler the ones who have taught you that?" She laughs and starts kicking as I put her to my other breast. "You are a silly, silly girl. You're starting to act more and more like Tyler. Is that because you've watched him for nearly six months and are copying his every move?" She smiles at me as she continues to nurse like she's confirming what I'm saying. "That's what I thought." Just as she's finishing up, Peanut starts whining from the bassinet. I get up and kick the bedroom door shut then put Tessa on the floor to explore while I feed Peanut. I watch her pull herself over to our full size mirror and play with the "baby" staring back at her. She squeals and coos then jabbers and laughs. A couple times she ducks her head down then peeks to see if the "baby" is still there looking at her then she giggles her head off. Silent laughter shakes my body and Peanut frowns up at me. She must not like all the jostling. When the mirror becomes boring, she starts to pull herself out of my sight. "Tessa? Can you come to Mommy?" She stops and looks my way. When she sees that I'm holding Peanut, she starts babbling and not in a very friendly manner. "You need to stop being jealous of your sister." She pulls herself to my feet then rolls onto her back and stares up at me. "Peanut's almost done then we'll go find your Daddy and brother." The door opens and Tobias comes in. When Tessa sees him, she starts kicking wildly and hollering for him.

"Are you done eating, little one?" he asks as he picks her up off the floor. She lays her head on his shoulder and peeks at me.

"Yes, she's still eating," I say, shaking my head. "Are we eating on the roof?"

"Yeah," he says. "There's definitely more space up there for everyone between the table and extra outdoor furniture."

"I doubt that she'll have to use it but can you take Peanut's swing up to the sunroom?" I say.

"Already done," he says. "Great minds think alike!" I glance at the time and see that our guests will be arriving any minute, and with that thought the doorbell rings.

"I'll take Tyler and Tessa with me," he says. "Take your time." When they leave the room, he closes the door behind him giving me privacy to finish nursing our little Peanut.

"Are you excited to meet everyone?" I ask. "There's going to be a lot of people who want to hold you so don't be scared. Mommy and Daddy both will be close by. Just holler really loud and one of us will check on you. I love you, Peanut. Sometimes I'm still dumbfounded that you're really actually here, my perfect little girl. They're all going to love you just as much as we do." I gaze at her as she finishes then take her into the nursery and put her in a clean diaper. I send Tobias a quick text asking if I should put the girls in heavier outfits but he doesn't answer. I'm about ready to leave the nursery when I hear our bedroom door open. "So what do you think?"

"I'm super jealous of your apartment," Christina says. She walks into the room holding Tessa.

"I thought you were Four," I say.

"I have to say I don't get that very often," she says with a chuckle and I join her while I shake my head. "Actually he sent me up here to tell you that warmer clothes would be great. It's too bad though, they look pretty snazzy right now in those cute little matching outfits." She's right. They are adorable.

"How about I replace the skirts with black pants, and they both have black sweaters," I say. "Will you watch Teagan while I get the clothes?"

"Sure," she says. I leave Peanut on the changing table with Christina fawning over her and quickly get each of the girls a pair of pants and a sweater. After changing them both, I follow Christina out of the room. When we step out into the hallway, we follow the sound of laughter and conversation up to the rooftop deck where people are everywhere. The minute they see me with Peanut in my arms, I'm surrounded. I hand her over to Shauna and watch as Lynn and Marlene take Tessa from Christina. I look around for Tyler and see him sitting on Uriah's lap but thankfully, for both their sakes, there is no cake around. I sit down on one of the large grouping of rattan couches that match the dining table set next to Christina. It's nice to have my friends over.

"Pizza's here," Zeke calls out as he and Tobias exit the sunroom, each carrying stacks of pizza boxes. They put them down on the dining room table and everyone converges on the food but I stay where I am. A moment later Tobias breaks out of the crowd and brings me a plate with two slices of Canadian bacon and pineapple.

"Thank you," I say. "Where are our children?"

"Tyler's sitting at the table with Zane eating a slice of pepperoni, Stella has Tessa, and Ciara has Peanut."

"Why do you call Teagan Peanut?" Will asks. Tobias and I smile at one another.

"The day we found out Tris was pregnant, we both thought she looked like a peanut on the ultrasound," Tobias says. "We've called her Peanut ever since."

"We call her Peanut more than we call her Teagan," I say.

"I think she wants her Mommy," Stella says. I put the plate on the table next to me then she lays Peanut in my arms. She goes from fussy to content in an instant.

"I think someone might be a tad bit spoiled," Zander chuckles.

"Oh, she's not spoiled," I say. "She just loves her Mommy."

"Yeah, she does," Tobias says. "Should I put her in the swing so you can eat?"

"No, I'll keep her," I say.

"Okay," he says. "I'm going to talk to the guys. Are you okay?"

"Can you get me a drink before you go, please?" I ask.

"Sure," he says. When he walks away I notice all my friends are grinning at me.

"What's that look at?" I ask.

"Are you sure that's Four?" Marlene asks. "He seems too tame."

"He's not that tame," I say.

"Ugh! We don't want to hear about your sex life," Lynn says.

"Hey, hey," Stella say. "Watch it. There are children present."

"I don't think Teagan and Tessa can understand what we're talking about," Shauna says, looking down at the infant in her lap who is chewing contentedly on her purple butterfly.

"I wasn't talking about the babies," Stella says with a roll of her eyes. "I'm talking about my kids." She looks behind her and not six feet away sits Gavin, Sadine, Nash, and Nya all laughing and eating pizza. Zane must still be with Tyler and Uriah.

"They're not listening to us," Ciara says.

"You'll learn sooner than later that that's just not true," I quietly say. "Little ears hear _everything_. You think they're doing their own thing but they're not." Everyone's eyes slide to the kids who look like they're ignoring us. "How are you feeling by the way?"

"I feel fantastic," she says, rubbing her small bump, which is getting bigger by the day. "As a matter of fact, I've never been better."

"I remember the second trimester," Christina says with a silly grin on her face and I nod in agreement, "but I'll keep the conversation rated PG, promise."

"So, Ciara, why won't you tell us if it's a boy or a girl?" Ella whines. I haven't been around my friends for a month, and they are having the exact same conversation. James and Ciara learned the sex of their baby but decided to keep it to themselves and it's driving everyone crazy, especially Ella. "Aren't I your best friend?"

"Ella, how many times do I have to tell you that James and I want to keep it to ourselves? It doesn't mean that I don't love you."

"Are you giving my wife a hard time again?" James calls out from under the trellis.

"No," Ella says. "I just asked a question."

"We're not telling you if the baby is a boy or a girl," he says shaking his head. "You'll find out with everyone else after he … or she is born." For a split second I think he slipped up but then a slightly evil grin appears on his face, and we all know he said that on purpose to torture Ella.

"Sometimes I hate you," she says, crossing her arms across her chest, pouting.

"You'll get over it," Ciara says. "You only have 12 more weeks to wait. Think of how I feel."

"Have there been any developments on where Tori is?" Christina asks as she burps Liam. Her question attracts the attention of the guys and they all gather around us.

"Mommy, can Zane and me go to my woom?" Tyler asks. "Peas!"

"We wanna go, too," Sadine says as Nash and Nya stand beside her nodding their heads in agreement.

"Please!" they all say in unison.

"Yes, you can play in your room," I say. "Just be careful."

"Gavin, please go with them and make sure everyone behaves," Zander says. "You can play your game down there."

"Okay, Dad," he says.

"Thank you, Mommy!" Tyler says stopping to hug me before he leads his friends to the stairs.

"Now we can speak candidly," Zander says. "What's the update on Tori?"

"We've thoroughly searched 75% of the compound and found no leads," Will says. "Tris made a comment that got me thinking so I did a little experimenting this afternoon."

"What was that?" Zeke asks.

"Why would every camera in the city be down for only 4½ minutes? That's an odd but very specific amount of time. I think this is the key to finding her," he says. "We all know that gives a person ample time to cover their tracks but just how far can you get. I went to different places she could have disappeared from … her apartment, his apartment, the tattoo parlor, the Pit, her office … and timed myself with my phone to see exactly where I ended up, and I think I have a lead. _If_ she went missing from her apartment, it takes roughly 4 minutes and 15 seconds to get from this hallway to the garage."

"But there's cameras in the garage," James says. "We looked, there was no sign of her."

"If she's a victim, she could have been placed into the trunk of a car. If she's an accomplice she could have been hiding in the back seat," Will says. "Approximately 12 seconds after the cameras came back online, a dark sedan is seen pulling out of the garage. It has darkly tinted windows. I could make out a driver but not a face. I went to the garage after I found the footage, and it's not there. In my opinion, find the car, find Tori."

"Do you think she's behind all this?" Marlene asks. Uriah lays his hand comfortingly on her shoulder and squeezes lightly.

"Behind what's going on? No, not at all," Tobias says. "Involved? We don't know. I hope not. But this leads us to why we invited you all over. Without giving away any confidential information, we know who's behind these attacks, Molly Atwood. We don't know her exact motivation but after talking to her multiple times over the past few months, it is our belief that she wants revenge for Peter Hayes' death."

"Why would she want revenge for that asshole?" Marlene asks with a snarl on her face.

"We found out that Molly, Drew, and Peter are family after going through Candor transfer files, and we confirmed it with Jack Kang," I say.

"She's told us that she blames us for his death, and Tris and I think she's taking it out on our friends," Tobias says. "I want you all to be careful. Because each of you are our friends, you have a target on your back. We don't want anyone else getting hurt."

"Or worse," I say, finishing his sentence.

"Don't worry about us, guys," Zeke says. "We're tough. We can take care of ourselves."

"I'm sure Harrison and Frankie thought the same thing," Tobias says. Everyone goes quiet and the sound of crickets cloak us.

"Okay, that's enough depressing shit," Uriah says. "We all promise to watch our backs and each other's. Now let's not talk about this the rest of the evening. I'm tired of living in an insane asylum."

"How about a fire?" Tobias says.

"I'm going to go check on the kids," I say. "Ella, would you like to hold Teagan?"

"Yes," she says, bouncing excitedly up and down in her seat. I get up and carefully give her to my friend then excuse myself. I go inside and down the spiral staircase and stop in the doorway of Tyler's room. Gavin is sitting on his bed with his nose stuck in his game while the other five are taking turns on the slide and swing. I'm surprised there's no yelling.

"Hi, Mrs. Four," Nash says when he sees me standing here.

"Hi, Mommy!" Tyler's hand juts out the opening in his fort and waves at me.

"Are you kids having fun?" I ask. A chorus of yeses fill the room. "Uriah is getting ready to cut the cake if you want some or you can roast some marshmallows and make some s'mores." I've yet to have one but Hana, Zeke, and Uriah told me all about them a while ago, and I'm looking forward to eating one or two tonight.

"Alwight! Cake!" Tyler says as he uses the slide then comes running at me. His eyes widen just before he reaches me then he hangs his head, and I can tell he's pouting.

"What's wrong?" I ask as the other kids file past us and head to the roof. I take his hand and lead him to the bed. I sit down and pull him onto my lap. He buries his head in my chest, and I can hear him sniffling. "Hey, why the tears? What's wrong, my sweet boy?"

"I fowget about you ouchie," he says, his bottom lip quivering. "I almost hugged you tight." I wrap my arms around him and kiss his head.

"You can hug me as tight as you want right now." He grips me tightly, and I rub his back lovingly and kiss his head. I jumped on a train twice today. I should be able to carry my son. I take a deep breath and stand up. Nothing hurts so I carry him out of his room, up the stairs, then I sit back down on the couch across from the lit fire.

"You shouldn't be carrying him," Tobias quietly says as he sits down next to me with Peanut in his arms.

"It's alright," I say. "I won't make a habit of it but he needed me. Buddy, do you want some cake or do you want to make a s'more?" He leans back and looks at me and his red-rimmed eyes tug at my heart. I kiss a stray tear away, and he finally smiles.

"Can I have both?" he asks.

"That's too much sugar this close to bedtime," Tobias says. "You can have a slice of cake or a s'more."

"I want a 'mowe," he says.

"Why don't I help you with the marshmallows," Tobias says. "Mommy, can take Peanut."

"No," he whines.

I lean over and whisper in his ear, "Mommy needs to feed her. She's hungry."

"Otay," he says as he gets down off my lap after a final big bear hug.

"How did you do that?" Tobias asks as he puts Peanut in my arms.

"He loves his sister," I say. "He doesn't want her hungry." I grab the blanket off the back of the couch and cover Peanut's head then put her to my breast. I look around for Tessa and find her sitting on Marlene's lap staring at Uriah's cake. One day soon she's going to want dessert, too.

We spend the next hour roasting marshmallows, eating s'mores, talking, and laughing. It's nice to just sit around with our friends, relaxing. Just before Peanut finishes nursing, Tessa decides that she's hungry, too, so Tobias gets her a bottle and Shauna volunteers to feed her. Or I should say she's the first one to volunteer. My friends keep fighting over my kids. We talk about everything under the sun except for Dauntless' problems and the fact that Tori is still missing. That subject is too painful for all of us.

"That was fun," Tobias says after closing the door behind our final guest.

"It was," I say with a yawn. Our field trip wore me out. "I think I'm going to take a bath after we clean up the mess upstairs."

"I'll clean up," he says. "You go ahead and take your bath."

"I won't argue with you," I say. I go up on my tiptoes for a quick kiss but when our lips meet our bodies take over. I wrap my arms around his neck as he lifts me straight up, causing butterflies to swarm in my tummy. He runs his tongue across my bottom lip then thrusts it into my mouth and tangles it with mine. When he sighs I smile against his lips. "I'd say I'm sorry but I'm not." We laugh together, and he kisses me again before sitting me back on my feet. "I love you."

"I love you more, Mrs. Eaton," he says as he tucks my hair behind my ears.

"That's impossible, Mr. Eaton," I say.

"Go take your bath," he says. "I want you to relax. It's been a long day."

"Alright," I say. I check on each child before I go into the bathroom and fill the tub. I strip out of my clothes then ease myself into the hot water after I put a few drops of coconut oil in it. I stretch my legs out and recline against the back then close my eyes as the hot, perfumed water stills around me. It's been such a long day, and it's bound to be a long night so I take advantage of the silence and succumb to the exhaustion.


	75. Chapter 75

I yawn and my eyes flutter open. I feel the heat from Tobias' body leaching into mine through the silk camisole and sleep shorts set that I quite honestly don't remember putting on. As a matter of fact, I don't remember getting out of the tub and coming to bed but it's obvious that I did. He senses that I'm awake and tightens his arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him, essentially molding our bodies into one. His hot breath brushes across the back of my ear before I feel his moist lips, and I sigh as he kisses every inch of my neck and exposed shoulder then moan loudly when he slides his hand up and covers my heavy, aching breast.

I turn in his arms and wrap myself around him, and he rolls us so that I'm on top. Our lips meet each other's in a fiery, possessive kiss. While his hands roam from my shoulders to my backside, I fist my fingers in his hair and thrust my tongue through his parted lips and find his. I taste mint and just a hint of chocolate, charred marshmallow, and graham cracker on his tongue. We part when he drags my cami up my body and off over my head. He holds me tightly and flips us so that I'm beneath him. I expect his lips on mine but instead he runs the tip of his tongue up my neck then kisses and nibbles along my jawline to my left ear. A shudder moves through my body when he caresses my lobe with the tip of his tongue.

" _Tobias_ ," I moan and I feel his smile against my skin. He glides his tongue down my neck, dropping kisses along the way until he reaches my heaving chest. He circles the hardened peak for a time before taking it between his teeth. He tugs at it gently, causing me to groan as an electric jolt travels straight between my thighs then sucks it into his mouth, soothing it with the tip of his tongue and soft lips. He gently kneads and strokes my throbbing mound as he teases my rigid bud.

"Mmm, you're so sweet," he roughly says as he drags his lips to my other aching breast. He slowly circles the already erect bud then tickles the quivering tip with his velvety tongue. I squirm beneath him as he nibbles lightly on the highly sensitive nipple. I feel his hard desire against my leg and think that he might actually give me what I want.

"We need to stop if we aren't going to make love, Tobias," I moan. "If we don't, I'm not going to be able to." He stops what he's doing and lifts his head. His eyes are black with desire, telling me that he wants me just as much as I want him.

"Do you want to stop?" he asks, his voice as silky as my sexy pajamas.

"No, but it hasn't been six weeks yet. Isobel hasn't cleared us," I say. "And we don't have any birth control."

"You're breastfeeding," he says. "I read up on it. It'll be okay but we do have condoms if you want to be sure."

"You really aren't going to stop?"

"I'm tired of waiting," he says. "I want you." He grinds his hips into my leg, showing me just how much he wants me. "I know you want me, too." I pull his mouth up to mine and our lips crash into each other's with a blistering need that is overwhelming as he covers my body with his. I wrap my legs around his hips, and he presses his hard length against my silk-clad womanhood. "God, I want to be inside you." He's gently rocking his hips back and forth, rubbing against me. "But I'm not going to rush this."

He slowly lowers his mouth back to mine for an unhurried, adoring kiss that quickly turns eager and heated. I fist his tank top in my hands and drag it up his body. He breaks our kiss and leans back on his knees between my outstretched legs and rips it off over his head. He stares down at my half naked body with lust in his dark eyes then puts his hands on the waistband of my silk shorts and slowly pulls them off of me. He picks up my left leg and brings it to mouth. He kisses his way from the ankle to the inside of my knee before doing the same thing with my other leg but this time he doesn't stop. He continues up to my inner thigh. Right before I think he's going to kiss me where I want it the most, he moves his mouth to my other knee.

"You're such a tease," I pant as he makes his way up my left thigh.

"I told you, I'm taking my time," he says. "It's been so long. We shouldn't rush this." The heat of his breath on my thigh sends a shiver through me then I moan when he kisses all around my moist entrance. Our eyes meet as he eases a single finger inside me. He very slowly draws it back then just as slowly thrusts it forward again. I grasp at the sheets when he adds a second finger then glides his tongue over my aching bundle of nerves and twist them in my fists.

"Oh, God! Tobias!" I moan as I lift my hips in time with his probing digits. I feel the familiar stirrings of an approaching release as he draws my aching bundle of nerves into his mouth then starts sucking on it gently. The combination of his curled fingers hitting that magic spot deep inside and his lips wrapped tightly around my nubbin skyrockets me over the edge. My back arches off the sheets, my eyes roll back in my head, my toes curl, and my entire body stiffens but he doesn't stop his ministrations until I'm exploding around his fingers for the second time. I collapse onto the bed, panting loudly, and he slowly removes his fingers from my womanhood. He moves up and covers me with his body, dropping butterfly kisses along the way, then places his lips on mine. He passionately kisses me for a moment while he settles himself between my outstretched thighs. I can feel my heart pounding painfully in my chest with anticipation and my breathing becomes irregular.

"Are you ready for this?" he asks. He's leveraged above me on one forearm, using his other hand to position my legs just right, making sure I'm open for him.

"More than ready," I pant, reaching up and caressing his handsome face. I'm so lucky he chose me. "I love you, Mr. Eaton."

"I love you, Mrs. Eaton," he says as he places himself at my entrance and I shudder with pleasure. He touches his forehead to mine and stares down into my eyes. "I know I've been with every day but I've missed you." He starts a steady pressure with his hips and slides into me about an inch. I close my eyes and bite down on my bottom lip. When I open them, he's staring at me reverentially. "God, you're so tight, tighter than I remember." I'm not sure how it's possible but I think he's right. This almost feels like our first time. He places his lips on mine and kisses my tenderly while he slides in yet another few inches. I wrap my arms around him and run my hands up and down his back. He pulls back and thrusts forward another couple inches.

"Oh, my God!" I call out.

"Do you want to stop?" he asks.

"No," I moan. "Oh, God no! More. I want more. I want all of you." I pull his mouth to mine as he buries himself fully, and I gasp at the long overdue fullness. He stills, allowing me to get used to his size since it's been so long. We stare deeply into each other's eyes between lingering tender kisses, not moving a muscle. When I'm ready I say, "Make love to me, Tobias." I run my fingertips down his cheek and he kisses me adoringly then takes my hand and laces our fingers together. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too." He moves his hips backwards, nearly sliding out of me then thrusts forward, burying himself fully again.

"Ooohhh," I moan as he sets a slow in-and-out pace. We move together as one at the same measured speed for what seems like an eternity. I push on his chest, and he rolls us so I can be on top. I put my hands on either side of his head and rock back as he thrusts upward. He runs his hands all over my body as we move against each other.

"Shit, Tris," he moans as he flips us back over.

"Oh, God," I pant. "I'm so close. Don't stop, baby." I lift my hips, answering each of his slamming thrusts as we drive each other closer to shared ecstasy. Our heartbeats speed and labored breaths fill the room as we cling to each other. I scream his name against his throat as I explode into a million pieces, and he groans in blissful agony in my ear as he releases himself deep inside. He collapses on top of me and for the first time in months, he doesn't move, and I relish the feel of his weight on me. After a minute, he pulls out of me and rolls over. I turn my head and stare at him.

"That was … _amazing_ , love," he pants as he rolls up on his side next to me. "How about round two?"

"Round two sounds like a wonderful idea," I say. "Round one was particularly good."

"Just good? You wound me," he says with a playful pout.

"I said, ' _particularly_ good.'" His eyes twinkle in the pale moonlight streaming into our bedroom. He suddenly rolls over on top of me and gives me a forceful, steamy kiss. His tongue delves into my mouth and strokes mine aggressively. I could kiss him forever if I didn't have other needs.

"Well, let's see … if I can … blow your mind … this time," he pants and I can't help the playful giggle that escapes my lips. I'm so happy right now. He lowers his lips to my left ear and a shiver raises goosebumps on my flesh. He glides his tongue along the contours, sucks gently on the lobe, and then French kisses the canal. I moan loudly when he wiggles it back and forth, and I clench my thighs together tightly trying to control the ache.

" _Oh, God!_ " I moan. "You're killing me, baby." I feel his hand meandering in a southerly direction, and I part my legs, giving him easier access. As he kisses, sucks, nibbles, and licks my ear, his fingertips find my nubbin. He very gently, with a featherlight touch, circles the sensitive bundle of nerves. He kisses from my ear to my chin then up to my lips. I grasp the back of his head and tangle my fingers in his short curls as my hips dance in time with his phantom-like touch.

"I just can't get enough of you," he whispers against my lips, "… of us." He continues with the slow, gentle teasing, and I feel myself climbing again. My breath is coming harder and faster against his soft, moist lips as I cling to him. I throw my head back and a guttural moan escapes from the back of my throat. "Tris, love, how does this feel?" God, it feels so good but I'm beyond verbal communication at the moment. "Tris." I writhe against him. I'm so close. "Tris." My body stiffens, and I shatter against his fingers but he doesn't stop. "Love, wake up. Are you in pain? You're moaning. Should I get you one of your pain pills?"

"What?" My head is foggy, and my body feels like it's on fire. "Why did you stop?"

"Stop what?" he asks, confused. Well that makes two of us.

"You were going to make me come again or maybe I just did," I say leveraging myself up on my elbows. I look around the room as my eyes try to adjust to the pale light of predawn. I look down at myself when the quilt falls to my waist, and I see that I'm wearing one of his old t-shirts.

"Tris, what you are talking about?" he asks. "Were you having a sex dream?" Now he sounds amused but I'm not. I'm crushed. I throw the quilt off me and stumble out of bed. "Hey, what are you doing?"

"I need coffee," I mumble. I check Peanut then head downstairs to the kitchen. While I'm waiting for the pot to brew, my hand goes to my lips. I remember every kiss, and they weren't even real. I feel robbed. I was so happy, and now I'm in a horrible mood. I feel him behind me before his hands rest on my hips.

"I shouldn't have laughed," he says in my ear. "I know you're frustrated. So am I."

"It's not fair," I say. "We made love, Tobias. I remember every kiss, every touch, every movement. I remember you on me, _in_ me." He turns me to face him and wraps me in his arms.

"I'm so sorry, love," he says. "We have 12 days until your appointment. It'll be here and gone before you know it then we can make love every day if that's what you want." I finally relent and wrap my arms around his midsection and snuggle into him close. I don't want to take out my bad mood on him. It's not his fault. I turn my head and look up at him.

"It was quite a low blow to wake up and realize everything that happened wasn't real," I pout. I sigh right before his lips touch mine. Peanut's cries through the baby monitor part us. "I should have known it wasn't real because there weren't any interruptions." Actually, the kids didn't even cross my mind. _Great, now I feel even worse._

"Do you want me to get her?" he asks.

"No," I say as I head to the stairs. "I feel like I haven't nursed her all night." I jog up the stairs and go into the bedroom. "Ssh, baby girl. Mommy's here." I pick up our little bundle but she doesn't quiet down. "Let's get you out of this wet diaper." I change her into a dry diaper as quickly as I can, and I'm surprised that she doesn't wake Tessa. Instead of nursing her upstairs, I carry her to the living room.

"Here's your coffee," Tobias says as he puts the mug of steaming decaf on the table next to me.

"Thank you," I say. He kisses my temple and lingers a bit, looking at Peanut while she nurses. "I have a stupid question."

"What's that?"

"Did I feed her in the night?" I ask, having a hard time remembering anything before my dream.

"3 a.m. on the dot," he says. "What sounds good for breakfast?"

"Bluebewwy pancakes," Tyler says as he comes into the living room rubbing his eyes.

"Blueberry pancakes it is," Tobias says. "Would you like bacon or sausage with them?"

"Hhm," he says, wrinkling his nose so that he looks just like his father. "Can we have both?"

"Only if Daddy can make us waffles instead of pancakes," I say. He furrows his little brows for a moment then beams.

"Otay," he says. "I help?"

"Of course, you can help," Tobias says. "I'll get the plates and silverware out and you can set the table. Tyler follows after his father into the kitchen as I continue nursing Peanut. When the aroma of bacon fills the room, my stomach starts to growl. Hopefully Tessa will hold off wanting fed herself until after I can have a waffle. We're halfway through the delicious breakfast when she starts whining through the baby monitor. I offer to go get her but Tobias tells me to finish my breakfast. He comes back downstairs with our little one who is on the verge of a meltdown just as I put my last bite of waffle, bacon, and sausage in my mouth. I get up and take her into the living room.

"Good morning, little one," I say as she latches on to my nipple. "You sure did sleep a long time last night. It's no wonder you're so hungry. You better slow down." I caress her head as she nurses vigorously. "I don't want you to choke."

"Can I go play?" Tyler asks.

"No, you need to go get ready for daycare," Tobias says.

"I no wanna go," he says. I can hear him pouting so I know that his bottom lip is sticking out a mile.

"I'm sorry but I'm going to take you and Tessa down to the Pit just as soon as she gets done eating," he says. "I have to go to work early."

"I wanna stay with Mommy." I look toward the kitchen, wondering what's up with him.

"Upstairs. Now. Mommy laid out an outfit for you last night," Tobias says, trying hard to rein in his temper. "I expect you to be dressed when I come upstairs in five minutes." I hear his feet on the stairs. "And don't run, young man." He stops running and clops up the stairs. Tobias comes into the living room and flops down on the couch, running his hands through his hair.

"You okay?" I ask after he's silent for too long.

"I don't know," he says. "I'm trying to calm down before I go upstairs and get him. I don't need him defying me on top of everything else that is going on."

"I know you don't," I say. I finish burping Tessa and get out of the chair. "Why don't you dress her and I'll talk to Tyler."

"Okay," he says. "Come here, Pebbles." She kicks excitedly when he takes her. She sure has become Daddy's girl since Peanut was born. I pick up the baby and carry her up to her bassinet then go to Tyler's room.

"Hi, buddy," I say as I open his closed door.

"Can I stay with you?" he says in full pout mode. At least he's dressed or he'd be in big trouble.

"No," I say. He's usually not this defiant. I pick him up and sit down in his rocking chair. "Can you tell me why you want to stay home with me?" He hangs his head and is quiet for a while. "Tyler. You can tell me anything."

"Bobby being mean," he sadly says.

"How long has this been going on?" Tobias asks as he comes into the room. He kneels down in front of us.

"Since baby come," he pouts. _A month?_

"What does he say?" I ask. I'm emotionally confused at the moment. Part of me is pissed beyond belief that he's being picked on again and needs to make it right but a larger part of me feels his anguish and wants to make it better. I wrap my arms around him and kiss his head.

"He tell me you love baby mo than me," he says. "He tell me you no want me at home no mo."

"Did you say something to Mrs. Wheeler?" I ask.

"She … she not be … believe me," he says as he starts to cry. I look up at Tobias and see the rage I'm feeling mirrored on his face. At least we know why he wants to stay home and one day soon he's going to get his wish. I'll see to that.

"Tyler, can you look at me?" I ask. It takes everything I have to keep my voice steady. You don't mess with my kids. He raises his head and looks at me. "Tell me why you think you go to daycare."

"You had an ouchie and need help," he says.

"That's right," I say. "I need time to rest and heal. Have you ever thought that I didn't want you with me? I miss you so much when we're not together." He shakes his head. "Then why does what he say matter?"

"It huwt my feelings and I don't like it," he says. "I tell him it not twue but he just laugh."

"Why didn't you come to us sooner?" Tobias asks.

"You busy," he says, his expression so innocent. He believes what he's saying.

"We are _never_ too busy for you," I say, cupping his little face between my hands. "I'm sure it has seemed like that lately since we brought Peanut home but Mommy and Daddy are always here for you. You can come to us at any time, and you can tell us anything. Do you understand?" He nods and throws his hands around my neck. "I love you so much, Tyler. Nothing will ever change that."

"I know," he says, muffled by my hair. "I love you, Mommy." He turns his head and looks at Tobias. "I love you, Daddy."

"I love you," he says. "You're my best buddy. I think it's time to go."

"I'm coming with you," I say over Tyler's head. I don't know if it's the situation or the tone of my voice but Tobias doesn't argue. "Give me a couple minutes to get Peanut dressed and situated."

"I'll get two bags," he says. "Want to help me, buddy?" Tyler nods and after giving me a big, wet kiss and a tight bear hug, he gets down off my lap, and we all file into our bedroom. I pick up Peanut who is sound asleep and change her diaper, dress her in an old pink sleeper covered in cute white bunnies that Tessa outgrew long ago, and get her situated in the sling.

"I'm ready when you are," I say when I reach the living room.

"Okay," Tobias says. "Let's go."


	76. Chapter 76

The journey to the Pit floor turns out to be a long one. We are stopped at every turn by Dauntless members wanting to catch a glimpse of our little peanut who is fast asleep against my chest or asking for an update on Tori's whereabouts. We tried to keep her disappearance under wraps but after 24 hours, rumors are running rampant. I can tell that Tobias is anxious to talk to Mrs. Wheeler but he's doing his duty flawlessly and amicably talks with each person who approaches. We finally get to the daycare center nearly a full hour later.

"Where's Mrs. Wheeler?" Tobias asks the moment we cross the threshold into the daycare center. One of the other teachers stands before us somewhat flustered.

"She's not on the schedule today," she stammers.

"Call her," he firmly says. " _Now_. I want her in my office in one hour."

"Yes, sir," she says. "I'll do it as soon as I get Tessa down for her nap."

"We won't be dropping the kids off today," he says. _Oh!_ This is news to me. "One hour. Come on, guys." I look down at Tyler, and he smiles up at me. After we walk back onto the Pit floor, Tobias stops me and quietly says, "I'm sorry, love. I just couldn't leave them there."

"I understand. I didn't want to leave them either," I say. "What are we going to do with them?"

"We'll bring them to work with us for today," he says. "Peanut will sleep most of the time, Tessa looks about ready for a nap, and Tyler can draw. How does that sound, Buddy?" He smiles up at him.

"And our meeting?" I ask.

"I'll ask Avery to watch the kids, and we'll take our meeting in your office. Av is running diagnostics on your computer this morning."

"Alright," I say. "Good plan. After our meeting, I'm going to call Christina and talk to her about a nanny. I've been procrastinating."

"We," I say.

" _We've_ been procrastinating."

"Daddy, can you give me a wide?" Tyler asks. "My legs are tiwed."

"They are?" he asks with an easy smile on his face for our son. I hold out my hands and he gently puts Tessa in my arms. I balance her on my hip as he puts Tyler on his shoulders. It's moments like this I realize we are truly outnumbered. Tessa smiles then leans over and looks at Peanut. _Please don't start, little one_. I watch as she reaches out and touches her sister's face. For a split second I'm concerned that she'll hit her or scratch her, which reminds me I need to trim her nails again very soon, but she just looks at her and starts babbling.

"You love your sister don't you, little one?" I ask as I kiss her cheek, which makes her laugh. "Do you still think my kisses are silly?"

"Daddy doesn't," Tobias quietly says under his breath and I'm not sure if I was meant to hear or not. I look up at him and wink when I catch his eye and his cheeks turn a pale shade of rose. He looks good with extra color. Flashes of my dream play in my mind, and my bad mood threatens to return so I instead look down at my girls, one asleep against my chest and the other yawning as she lays her head against my shoulder, and I know I'm blessed. The next two weeks won't be easy but it will be worth it in the end.

Our return trip to the Pire doesn't take half the time our first one did, probably because of the scowl on Tobias' face. No one dares to look at him let alone speak to him. As irritated as I am with the daycare director, I wouldn't wish the wrath of Four on anyone. When we enter his office, Tobias puts Tyler on his feet and takes Tessa from me and lays her on her back in the travel sleeper then I put Teagan right next to her. I momentarily wonder if Peanut will always be smaller. Tobias excuses himself to go talk to Avery as I dig out some blank sheets of paper and colored pencils from a drawer in one of the filing cabinets. I have Tyler kneel in a chair at the corner of the desk so he can draw, which he loves to do.

A thought crosses my mind, and I go to the files. I'd really like to kick whoever trashed them because what I'm looking for is not going to be easy to find. My mind wanders to a motive for ransacking his office as I pull Mrs. Wheeler's personnel record out of the file drawer. Fortunately, as I flip through the file it looks to be complete. After closing the drawer, I check on the kids then sit on the end of the couch with my legs tucked underneath me.

"Does that lip taste good?" Tobias asks as he comes through the door. I give him a confused look, and he chuckles lightly. "You're gnawing on your bottom lip, love. You don't do that very often."

"I didn't realize," I say, raising my hand to touch my lip, which is now quite tender. "I'm looking at Mrs. Wheeler's file."

"Good thinking," he says. "Have you learned anything useful?" I pat the seat next to me, and he sits down, puts his arm around me, and looks at the file over my shoulder.

"Gloria Wheeler is a rare transfer from Amity," I say reading aloud from the file folder in my hands. "She was last in her initiation class with poor marks across the board." I look up from the paperwork. "If she had jumped into Dauntless last year instead of 25 years ago, she never would have made it." I momentarily wonder what caused her to join Dauntless as I move further into her file. "She's married to a Stuart Wheeler. He's been a fence guard his entire career. They've been married 24 years, no children. She's worked in the daycare center since initiation ended and was promoted to director 12 years ago. This is what disturbs me." I shuffle the papers to find what I'm looking for. "There have been numerous complaints about the daycare ever since she took over."

"How many is numerous?" he asks, the concern in his voice audible. I tally them quickly.

"I estimate at least 50 per year," I say. "Over 12 years that's 600 complaints. And if I'm reading this correctly, multiple complaints from the same person have only been counted as one complaint. Right here is half-a-dozen grievances from the same family." He takes the file out of my hand and reads over the multitude of allegations. Thankfully, there are no claims of abuse or neglect but it seems like a bullying atmosphere has been tolerated for far too long. From what I saw, previous leadership shrugged it off as the quintessential "Dauntless will be Dauntless" attitude. They even encouraged it. That needs to stop right here and now.

"I can't believe this has been going on for this long," he says after skimming the file, frustrated and rightfully upset. "Why didn't I ever look at this?" He gets up and makes a notation at his desk. "Every daycare employee needs vetted. I don't care how long they've worked there. If their attitudes and actions aren't in line with the Dauntless we've built, there are openings at the fence, and they'll be transferred there. And this isn't just about Tyler, Tessa, and Peanut either. It's about all the children. It's no wonder so many families have went to the nanny service in the city."

"I agree," I say.

"Can I have a dwink?" Tyler asks.

"Sure," Tobias says as he gets up. He gets a small bottle of milk out of his mini fridge, pours it in the sippy cup he gets out of the diaper bag, and hands it to Tyler.

"Thanks, Daddy," he says. He gets down off his chair and crawls up on my lap. After chugging the milk, he struggles with his eyelids for a time and they win out in the end. Wow! All three kids napping at the same time. I think it's a miracle.

"He loves being able to spend extra time with you," Tobias says.

"I know," I say. "I love it, too." I stroke his hair and hear his breathing change, knowing he's now sound asleep. "The mom in me wants to stay home with him and the girls so much," I kiss his head, "the Dauntless in me wants to make this the best faction in the city, and the woman in me just wants unlimited time alone with you." I reach up and caress his stubbled chin. "Do you ever feel that way?"

"All the time," he says.

"It's nice to know I'm not alone," I say.

"You're never alone," he says. As he leans in to kiss me, a timid knock sounds in the room. He sighs then gets up to answer the door as I get up and gently lay Tyler on the couch. It's cool in the office today so I cover him with one of the girls' baby blankets from the diaper bag. Tobias excuses himself, comes back with Avery then we lead Mrs. Wheeler into my office.

"Please sit down, Mrs. Wheeler," I say, motioning to the grouping of furniture in the corner of my office. She sits down in the black leather chair then Tobias and I sit on the matching loveseat opposite her. "May I call you Gloria?"

"Of course," she says, sounding somewhat surprised I know her first name. Tobias tosses her file on the small coffee table that's sitting between us. Her name is printed in big, black, bold letters, which makes it hard to miss.

"I'm sure you're wondering why we have asked you here this morning," he says.

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't," she says. Her voice is steady and clear but I can hear her nervousness.

"We would like to talk to you about a couple situations in the daycare center that we were just made aware of," I say.

"Firstly, we would like to talk to you about Tyler and Bobby," Tobias says. She flinches just a little at the mention of our son's nemesis. She obviously knows what we're talking about and was hoping to avoid this conversation. "This morning, Tyler told his mother and me something that disturbed me greatly. Apparently, Bobby has been telling him that we don't love him as much as his baby sister and that the reason he has to go to daycare is because we don't want him at home but _that_ isn't what disturbs me the most. He told us he came to you and told you what Bobby has been doing just like protocol dictates but that you didn't believe him. My son has never lied to me so I doubt that he would act totally out of character in your presence and lie to you. Do you care to explain yourself?"

"Tyler did come to me but I haven't seen Bobby bothering him," she says.

"If I remember correctly, you hadn't seen Bobby bothering him the first time either," I say.

"I can't investigate each and every claim that is brought to my attention," she says, getting a tad but defensive and a nearly inaudible gasp leaves my lips.

"And why not?" I ask, trying to remain calm. "Isn't that your _job_?" She looks at me and doesn't say a word, obviously tongue tied. "If a child, _any_ child, were to come to me with a concern whether it is real or imagined, it's my duty as an _adult_ to look into it. I know you probably see a lot of pettiness between the children in your charge but kids swiping toys or boys pulling girls' ponytails pale in comparison to one child continually making another think he is unloved … or at least it should."

"Tyler didn't tell me exactly what Bobby said," she finally says. "He only told me that he was being mean."

"That's exactly what he told me after I asked why he didn't want to go to daycare today," Tobias says being deceptively calm. I look up at him and notice that the edges of his ears are a pale crimson color. I have only seen this a handful of times in the past year, and I know it's not good. I'd rather deal with erupting Four than slow-simmering Tobias. "But I didn't let it go at that. 'Being mean,'" he puts air quotes around the words, "can mean anything. After a little prodding, he told us what's been going on for _one goddamn month._ " By the time he's done, he's bellowing at the top of his lungs, and Mrs. Wheeler pales drastically. I notice two Dauntless guards stop in their tracks in the hallway outside my office and gawk at us through the clear glass wall. I give them a withering look and they scurry off. "One month, Mrs. Wheeler. It's no wonder he doesn't feel comfortable there anymore.

"I want a meeting with Bobby's parents, preferably today. He's been traumatized by this boy's persistent hateful spewing for far too long. He thinks his mother and I love the new baby more than him, which is totally absurd, and he thinks this _only_ because of Bobby. I gave you a chance to handle it like protocol dictates but I'm far from satisfied, which brings us to the second topic we need to discuss, your job performance. Your job is hanging by a thread. I should have done my due diligence before I entrusted the care of my children with you." He leans up and taps the folder he threw down earlier. "I looked at your file and am appalled by the number of complaints against you. Would you like to take a guess at the number?" She sits staring at him, not saying a word. "No? _Over_ 600\. How you still have a job is beyond me. The trend I see in here of sweeping problems under the rug _won't_ be tolerated anymore. These are our children, the future of Dauntless. They deserve to be supervised by the very best, and I'm not convinced that's you. We are a new Dauntless and bullying will not be tolerated.

"Tris, Will, and I will be putting a committee together for the express purpose of evaluating you and your staff. I have not read through their files but it will be done soon. Each of you will be interviewed at length. If it is determined that _any_ staff member is not qualified to be in their current position, they will be transferred to the fence." This gets a reaction from her.

"You would put more than 20 people's careers on the line because your son can't take a little teasing?" I feel the atmosphere in the room change. I put my hand on Tobias' knee and squeeze in the hopes it will keep him rooted in place. I really don't need him killing her, although I would happily help him bury the body. I can't believe she just said that. I lean forward and look her directly in the eyes.

"How would you feel if you had someone telling you on a daily basis that your wonderful, perfect husband doesn't love you anymore, that he is having an affair with someone who could have been your twin when you were 16 and wants a divorce? You would probably dismiss it at first but then after being repeatedly assailed with the information day in and day out, a nagging whisper in the back of your mind starts saying to you, 'What if it's true?' Then you start believing it. It's human nature. Now put yourself in the shoes of a 2-year-old. What Bobby is telling him is not simple teasing, Gloria. It borders on mental torture. He thinks his father and I don't _love_ him, that we don't _want_ him. I still don't know why this boy is doing this. How can you think anything else is more important than investigating a claim like that?"

"I have an explanation for my behavior but it will just sound like an excuse," she says. It's hard to describe her demeanor at the moment. I don't know how she is doing it but she's remorseful yet defiant at the same time.

"Go on," I say.

"When I took over the daycare center nearly 13 years ago, I was given strict instructions to not baby the children," she says. "Max said the previous manager had been softening the children for years and that's why there were so many defectors to other factions. He told me it was my duty to prepare the next generation of Dauntless members for the harsh realities of real life. I learned early on that you don't argue with your leaders. Like you, they threatened me with working at the fence so I did as I was told. I never encouraged the bad behavior but I didn't stop it either. I guess after 12 years of looking the other way that I've stopped seeing it all together." I look up at Tobias and see a change in his demeanor. I believe it matches mine. The intense anger is gone, and it's been replaced by an understanding.

"We can't fault you for following the orders that were given to you," Tobias tells her. "A good Dauntless soldier does as they are instructed whether they agree with the directive or not. I'm sure Tris will agree when I say that we're going to wipe the slate clean and only look at your performance from here on out. That being said, changes have to be made. Daycare should be a safe environment for every child. We'll still set up the committee to oversee operations and if performance doesn't improve, changes in personnel will have to be made. And we can't reward bad behavior with promotions. Therefore, the fence is the only alternative."

"I understand," she says.

"Like we said earlier, we want a meeting with Bobby's parents. Please set it up for after closing at the daycare center this evening," I say. "What are their names?" We need to check out their files.

"Dale and Jennifer Chaucer," she says. Tobias' brows furrow.

"Dale Chaucer? Why is that name familiar?" he mumbles to himself under his breath.

"We will be in contact with you when the committee has been selected," I say, getting to my feet. "That will be all." After Tobias gets to his feet, Mrs. Wheeler follows. Just as she is getting ready to leave she turns back towards us.

"I'm truly sorry for what Tyler is going through, and I regret that I played a part in it," she says. "We love what your leadership has done for Dauntless. I just wish the old habits were easier to break. I'll see you in my office at 6 p.m.?"

"Yes," Tobias says.

"Thank you for giving me a chance to explain," she says then turns and leaves before we can say anymore.

"I'm still pissed but now I'm angry at a dead man," Tobias says. "What the hell were they thinking?"

"They were doing what Erudite wanted so the old leaders weren't thinking for themselves but it is disturbing to hear that their plan was set into motion so long ago," I say. "That kind of damage is going to be hard to repair but at least most members are willing to try to restore our faction to what it once was." I look up at him, and he looks slightly confused. "What's wrong?"

"Dale Chaucer," he says, rubbing his chin between his thumb and forefinger. "I've heard that name or seen it somewhere recently but I can't remember where."

"Do you know him?" I ask.

"Not that I know of," he says. "We better get back to the kids. I think I hear Peanut." When I listen carefully, I hear her cries coming through his closed office door. He opens it for me and Avery is sitting in his chair trying to calm her down.

"Oh, good! You're back," she says.

"I'm sorry," I say as I take my hungry baby from her. "That took longer than we expected. I'm surprised that Tyler and Tessa aren't awake."

"She just started crying," she says as I sit on the end of the couch. I get Peanut situated in the sling and start to nurse her. Tyler now looks warm so I take the blanket and cover her head. "I've been through all the computers and no virus or spyware was left behind but in each office that was broken into the computers were logged onto and files were accessed. I made a list of the files from each computer."

"Can you tell whose log in information was used to access the computers?" Tobias asks.

"Yeah," she says as she hands him a sheet of paper. "It was Tori's."


	77. Chapter 77

"Tori?" I ask, wondering if I actually heard Avery right. Is she the one from Dauntless working with Molly? If so, what's her motive? Is she really involved in Sam, Harrison, and Frankie's murders? It can't be true, can it? I remember how she acted when Harrison died. She was devastated, blamed herself. Maybe she acted that way because she didn't realize he would become Molly's next victim. _No!_ I refuse to believe it. Besides, if she's responsible, why would she be so sloppy as to use her own ID and password to access the computers during the office break-ins? Unfortunately, we can't question her about it because of her mysterious and quite frankly _strange_ disappearance. Did she orchestrate that, too? Supposedly she's the one who remotely accessed the cameras in the entire city and shut them down. I rub my temple when my head starts throbbing painfully at all the unanswered questions.

"Have you told anyone else about this discovery?" Tobias asks, motioning to the single sheet of paper in his hand that lists the files that were accessed on Harrison, Tori, and his computers.

"Actually, I did mention it to Callen last night," she cautiously says, readying herself for his reaction.

"Oh, I really wish you hadn't done that," he says with a long, drawn out sigh as he runs his free hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry, Four," she says, her voice full of remorse. "We tell each other everything. It's kind of our policy." I think it's a good policy for a couple to have.

"It's alright," he says. "What's done is done but in the future I'd rather you not share sensitive Dauntless information with your boyfriend but it's my fault for not explaining that in the first place." As he studies the paper carefully, his brows knit together. He gets his phone out of his picket and sends a quick message then finally looks at her.

"Have you gone over each one of these files with a fine-tooth comb?" he asks, motioning to the piece of paper he just laid on his desk.

"I really only had time to skim them," she says.

"Okay. Did you notice if any of the files were erased or had data changed in any way?" he asks.

"Not that I saw," she says.

"Was anything printed or saved to a removable drive?"

"I didn't think to look," she says.

"That's alright," he says. "Can you show me the log-in data for the personnel files?" He walks around his desk and stands behind her as she types on his keyboard, bringing up the information he requested.

"It's right here," she says. Tobias leans over her shoulder and studies the screen.

"What's this?" I see him point at something and Avery frowns.

"Um, I'm not sure," she says.

"Is that a remote access code?" he asks. She leans closer to the computer then looks up over her shoulder at him.

"I think it is," she says, sounding confused. "Let me check something." She types furiously on the keyboard until a knock sounding throughout the room stills her fingers. Tobias goes to the door, and Avery and I are both surprised to see Callen standing on the other side of it.

"Come in," Tobias says, ushering him inside.

"You wanted to see me, Four," Callen says.

"Yeah," he says. "But I need you to give me a moment, okay?"

"Okay." I can tell he's nervous, probably wondering why the leader of the faction has summoned him to his office.

"Did I get us in trouble?" Avery asks, her eyes wide and her voice suddenly unsteady. Callen's mouth falls open.

"Not at all," Tobias says, easing both their minds. "What did you just find?"

"I think you're right," Avery says. "That's a remote access code but it doesn't make any sense. It shouldn't be there."

"You've lost me," I say. I've been following their conversation closely as Peanut nurses but I don't know the significance of their discovery.

"The log-in data is contradicting itself," she says. She turns the monitor around so I can see it then points to the screen. "Right here it says that Tori _physically_ entered her ID and password into this computer at 9:42 a.m. on October 4 to access the personnel files," she moves her hand again, "but then right here is a remote access code that shouldn't be here unless the computer was remotely accessed for the information."

"Are the times and dates the same?" I ask.

"Yes," she says.

"Can you tell whose code that is?" Tobias asks. After the trouble with Maria and her cohorts remotely accessing cameras for their own use, the entire technical staff and all the control room workers were each given individual codes so that work could easily be identified. She hits a series of keys then frowns again.

"It's telling me I'm not authorized to look," she says.

"Here, let me try," Tobias says. "I think I remember how to do this." After using the keyboard he stands up with a confused look on his face. My eyes slide to Avery's, and she's wearing the exact same bewildered expression that he does.

"Whose is it?" I ask.

"Apparently, I don't have access either," he says. Now I know the reason for the confusion. He should have unfettered access to every aspect of Dauntless records.

"Um. Shouldn't you have access to everything?" I ponder out loud, already knowing the answer.

"Yes, I should," he says, his frustration making him sound more like Four. "Avery, how difficult was that information to find?"

"If you hadn't asked to see the log-in data, I'm sure it would have been overlooked," she says. "The remote access didn't show up on the activity logs, which is where I found the original information about Tori's ID."

"That's interesting," he mutters, mainly to himself. "Callen, sorry to keep you waiting. Just after you started in the control room, Zeke told me that you have a natural ability with computers."

"They're a hobby of mine," he says, somewhat embarrassed. "Although I wouldn't call myself an expert."

"What I called you down here for is I want you to team up with Avery," he says. "I need each file that was accessed during the time of the break-ins to be gone over thoroughly. For example, I know that the personnel files were accessed on my computer. What I need you both to look for is which files were accessed and if any changes were made. And just to be 100% clear, it is imperative that none of this information leaves this room for right now, okay?"

"Okay," they both say at the same time.

"How long before you're finished with Tris' computer?" Tobias asks Avery.

"I have one final scan to perform, and then I'll be done," she says. "So far I haven't found anything at all on her computer, and Will's was clean as well."

"Do you have enough time to finish it before lunch?" he asks. She looks at the clock on the wall then nods.

"Good," Tobias says. "After lunch, Avery, I want you to show Callen exactly what you found. Then I want you to start with Harrison's computer and laptop then move on to Tori's. You can leave my computer for last. When you're done, report to me or Tris only. We'll be available until 5:30 then we have to leave for a meeting in the Pit."

"Can you watch the kids for us?" I ask. "I hate to keep asking but right now I would be more comfortable leaving them with someone I completely trust than with a stranger."

"I completely understand, Tris," she says. "I love spending time with Tyler and Tessa and getting to know Teagan."

"Thank you for always taking good care of them," I say. I know I've told her this before but she needs to hear it again.

"It's my pleasure."

"We better get back to work unless you need anything else from us," Callen says.

"That will be all. Just remember, not a word to anyone else about your discoveries," Tobias says. Avery gets up from his desk and Callen holds the door for her. After saying a final goodbye, we're once again alone in his office.

"Does this mean that someone on the technical staff or in the control room used their code to make it look like Tori is the one who broke in to the offices?" I ask trying to understand what just happened.

"I don't know what to think," he says with a sigh as he moves one of the chairs so it is facing the couch. He looks over his shoulder at the travel sleeper when he hears a noise then smiles as he moves across the room and picks Tessa up. He puts her up to his chest, and she lays her head on his shoulder and snuggles with him as he gently rubs little circles on her back. He sits down opposite me, and we just stare at one another trying to absorb what we just learned.

"Let me see if I got this right," I finally say, breaking the tense silence. "Person A broke into your office the day before yesterday and trashed the place while Person B remotely accessed your computer then entered in Tori's ID to make it look like she was the one who perpetrated the break-in. Does that sound about right?"

"Yeah," he says.

"Tori's in trouble, isn't she?"

"I'm afraid so," he says. "I think we need to keep this to ourselves, love." I start to say something but he shakes his head at me. "Hear me out. I'm afraid that whoever is working with Molly is privy to the investigation but I don't have a clue as to who it might be. If Tori is still alive … and until I've seen proof otherwise, that is what I'm going to believe … she might not be for long if the mole knows that we've figured out that Tori isn't responsible for the office break-ins and her disappearance."

"What about Will?" I ask. "Doesn't he have a right to know?"

"He does but we're not going to tell him," he says. "He'll tell Christina, which I don't blame him and then there's the possibility she tells one person and so on. I don't think we should risk it. He may be upset for being kept in the dark but he'll get over it."

"I understand," I say as I put Peanut up to my shoulder to burp. "I hope we find her soon."

"I do, too," he says. A frustrated, faraway look settles on his face, which makes me frown.

"What's wrong … besides the obvious?" I ask.

"Being told that I'm not authorized to view that particular log-in data is troublesome," he says. "I'm debating whether or not I should call IT and have them look into it or just leave it alone and see where the investigation takes us since every one of the programmers minus Avery is a suspect."

"Leave it alone until we have a solid suspect then bring someone in to look at it," I say.

"You're so wise," he says.

"Are you satisfied with how the meeting went with Mrs. Wheeler?" I ask, wanting to change the subject for just a little while.

"I would be happier if it didn't have to happen," he says. "I have a question for you. Do you think I flippantly threaten to send people to the fence or make them factionless? When she said that Max and the old leaders basically did the same thing, it made me think."

"In my opinion, you use the threats wisely. No one wants to work at the fence or become factionless so it motivates them to do the right thing," I say. "Max used it as blackmail."

"Which technically is exactly what I do," he sighs.

"The difference is you do it to make this faction a better place, and they did it to tear it down," I say. "You're a good man with the very best of intentions, Tobias. Please don't compare yourself to Max and the others."

"You're right," he says. Tyler stretches then starts to roll off the couch but Tobias and I both quickly reach out to keep him from falling to the floor. His eyes fly open in a panic but once he realizes where he is, he calms down.

"Are you okay?" I ask, my heart pounding roughly in my chest. "You almost fell off the couch." He shyly smiles up at me then hides his head.

"Why are you being shy with Mommy?" Tobias asks. He sits Tessa in his lap, and she reaches out and touches Tyler's arm. He moves his hand away from his face and grins at her, causing her to laugh. _She has such an angelic peal._ With all the laughing around us, Peanut tries to find where the noise is coming from. I carefully take her out of the sling, and she looks at her brother and sister who are both having giggling fits. She stares at them for a while with an annoyed frown on her face then gives them a little grin.

"She smile at me!" Tyler excitedly says.

"I told you she would smile at you soon," I say. I look down at Peanut just in time to see her yawn widely and I look at the clock. "Is anyone ready for lunch?"

"Yeah, I hungwy," Tyler says.

"I could eat," Tobias says.

"How about I take the kids home with me and fix lunch," I say. "We can discuss business later." I know we can't shield the kids from all bad things in the world but they don't need to hear about Dauntless' troubles when they're so young.

"I have some calls to make," he says. "I can make them from home. Let's go." We get up and head out into the hallway. Tobias triple checks that the office door is locked before we head upstairs. When we reach the apartment, I put Peanut down for her nap in the bassinet, and Tobias sits Tessa on the floor with Tyler then excuses himself to our small office upstairs. I quickly mix up tuna salad for tuna melts and toss a mixed green salad, lightly dress it with a raspberry vinaigrette, and put it in the refrigerator to chill. I stick my head into the living room before I put the sandwiches on the stove and find Tyler "reading" a story to Tessa who is totally absorbed in every word her brother is saying to her. Tobias finishes his phone calls quickly and comes up beside me. I stop him just before he announces his presence, and we watch them for a time until Tyler realizes we're standing here and gets shy on us again.

"You're doing a wonderful job of taking care of Tessa while I'm in the kitchen," I say.

"Thanks!" he brightly says, his shyness vanishing.

"How about I take over for you and read you both a story while Mommy finishes lunch?" Tobias asks. Tyler nods eagerly so he gets down on the floor and takes the storybook and starts reading. God, I love him! After watching for just a moment more, I go into the kitchen and start the sandwiches while I dish up some mixed fruit and top it with some whipped cream.

"Let's see. Tuna melts, salad, and fruit," I say to myself. "Maybe some green beans will go with this." I open the refrigerator and check but we don't have any fresh ones so I go to the cupboard and see if we have a jar that we bought the last time we went to the farmers market. "I need to go to the store."

"Are you talking to yourself?" Tobias asks from right behind me, making me jump. "I'm sorry I scared you. I said your name."

"I was thinking about green beans," I say. "I need to make a trip to the commissary. We're running low on food."

"We don't need another vegetable," he says.

"It just seems like the meal needs more," I say.

"It looks perfect to me," he says then takes a step forward and lowers his voice. "Maybe we can have a bowl of ice cream for dessert."

"That's a good idea," I say. "Can you get the kids to the table while I make the plates?"

"Sure," he says then leans down and gives me a quick kiss. While I finish preparing lunch, he puts Tessa in her booster seat and helps Tyler up into his chair.

"Thanks, Mommy," Tyler says when I put his plate in front of him.

"You're welcome," I say as I kiss his head. I put a plate in front of Tobias then sit down myself. Just as I'm getting ready to take my first bite, Tobias' phone rings. He usually ignores calls during mealtime but with everything going on, he excuses himself from the table to take the call. Tessa excitedly bangs her butterfly on the table and squeals as she watches me eat.

"You're getting closer and closer to baby food, aren't you, little one?" I say. "Mommy's going to have to talk to Isobel or Stella about when I can do that. I don't want to start too early. You don't even have any teeth yet." At her last doctor's appointment, Zander told me to watch out for signs of teething but so far there's nothing besides the drooling and chewing on anything within reach that she can put in her mouth. I check her gums nightly but they feel normal. I momentarily thought when she was sick right before Peanut was born that it was teething but it wasn't; she just had a cold. Tobias comes back into the dining room from the sunny room as Tyler likes to call it because of how bright it is in there and sits down. He's quiet with a concerned look on his face. "Who was on the phone?" I finally ask when I can't take it anymore.

"Zeke," he says. "He was giving me an update."

"What did he find?"

"Nothing," he says.

"Then what has you so far away right now?" Tyler looks at his father with furrowed brows.

"He wight hewe," he says. Out of the mouth of babes!

"I know," I say with a soft chuckle. "I was just asking Daddy what has him troubled."

"Oohh," he says as he starts squirming in his seat.

"Do you need to go potty?" Tobias asks and Tyler nods his head up and down hastily. "Well you better go. Don't forget to wash your hands when you're finished." He gets up and runs into the powder room.

"Our boy," I say with a sigh. "So, what has you so … bothered?"

"Zeke saw something on surveillance this morning that has me … concerned," he says.

"What's that?" I ask, his unease rubbing off on me.

"Molly talking to Ruth in front of the Merciless Mart this morning," he says. _Oh, no!_

"You're keeping tabs on Ruth, too?" I ask. _What does this mean?_

"No, we were following Molly, and she led us to Ruth," he says. "I'm glad you didn't call to ask about the familial connection. I don't think she can be trusted."

"I don't believe that," I say. "I'm sure there's some other explanation. Ruth has never given me any reason to mistrust her. Her son was evil on every level but Ruth is nice."

"I thought so," he says, "but maybe she's playing you." I slowly start shaking my head in disbelief.

"Until I have concrete proof that Ruth is like her son, I refuse to believe that," I snap. He reaches across the table and covers my hand with his. I close my eyes and take a deep, calming breath. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have raised my voice. I know it's not your fault. I'm just tired of not knowing who we can trust. It's exhausting."

"I know what you mean," he says. "How about we work from home this afternoon until we have to go to the Pit?"

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," I say. "I'll start the background checks on the woman who were in the training room with Kirsten."

"I'll continue going through the backlog of video," he says with a sigh. "If we're lucky we'll finish before Christmas but then we'll have all the new footage to sift through. I sense a vicious cycle forming." I get up and ease myself down on his lap. He tightly wraps his arms around me and buries his face in my neck. "I love you, Tris. I'm sorry this is happening … again."

"We'll figure it out. We always do."

"I know," he says. "I'm just tired of all the bullshit." He tightens his hold on me, and I move my arm, draping it over his shoulder and kiss his temple.

"We both need to remember something, we have a lot to be thankful for," I say, looking over at Tessa who is gnawing on her fist. When our eyes meet, she smiles brightly. "We have each other and our three little munchkins. I'm sure all this drama will be over soon and things will get back to normal."

I think I hear him say, "Whatever that is," right before he softly presses his lips to mine. I'd love nothing more than to linger and let this tender kiss continue but just as Tyler comes out of the bathroom and snickers at us, Tessa starts whining loudly. "You get Tessa. I'll clean up the kitchen then dish up some I-C-E C-R-E-A-M." Tyler looks at us expectantly. He doesn't exactly know why we spell things but he knows that when we do it, usually something good comes afterwards or at least that's how it's worked so far.

"Okay," I say. I give him a quick peck then get off his lap. "Come here, little one." I pick Tessa up out of the booster seat and she roots towards my chest. I carry her into the living room and sit in the club chair. Just as I get her situated, Peanut starts crying. _Hhm. She shouldn't be hungry yet. It must be her diaper._ Tobias stops what he's doing and moves to her bassinet.

"Are you hungry, too, Peanut?" he asks as he lifts her into his arms. He comes over in front of me and I see that she's sucking on his knuckle. I look at the clock and realize that I miscalculated, and it's been over three hours since her last feeding.

"Oh, my poor baby," I say as he lies her in my arms. I put her to my other breast with her body crossing Tessa's, and she nurses eagerly. "Mommy is so sorry but you were being such a big girl. I'm surprised you weren't screaming."

"Thanks, Daddy," I hear Tyler say then he and Tobias come into the living room. Tyler kneels behind the coffee table and Tobias hands him a small bowl with a single scoop of rocky road in it.

"You're welcome," he says, as he sits on the couch with a matching bowl, although his has two scoops. "Let me know when you're done and I'll help you wash your hands and face. Yours is in the freezer, love."

"Thanks," I say with a yawn.

"How about we try to give Peanut a bottle this evening and see how it goes?" he says. "I could be helping out with feedings if she could take a bottle." I look down at my girls and know he's right but there's a part of me that doesn't want to share this experience with anyone else but I know I'm just being selfish.

"Okay," I say. "Have you had an update from Will on the search for Tori?"

"They're running out of places to look," he says.

"What about the car that left the compound at the time of her disappearance?" I ask. "Has it been spotted?"

"No," he says. "The GPS has been disabled so we can't track it. You know, I've always thought of the city as small … or our part of it at least … but it's times like these that make me realize just how massive a place we live in. We may never find her, Tris, and you have no idea how much I hate myself for admitting that out loud." A shiver runs through my body at his admission. Until right now I was certain that she would be found but maybe he's right. We may never know what happened to her.

"Can you take Peanut?" I ask when she needs burped. He puts his empty bowl next to Tyler's and takes her from me. I watch as he paces in front of the fireplace as he pats her back. By the time she burps, Tessa is nursing from my other breast.

"Here you go," he says as he puts her back in my arms. When he comes back into the living room after putting the dessert bowls in the dishwasher, he sits down on the end of the couch with his laptop and starts scanning video feeds. Tyler pulls out a puzzle book and climbs up on the couch next to him. I study them while the girls nurse. They are so similar. They both have a foot on their knee and a determined look on their face. Tobias notices my stare, and his eyes raise to mine. "Do you need something?"

"Yeah, my camera," I say. He looks confused, so I point at his little mini me. He looks at Tyler and starts grinning. I think it's the first honest to God smile I've seen on his face in days. "Like father, like son."

"Do you need help?" he asks when he sees Peanut stop nursing.

"Please," I say. He sets his computer aside and lifts her off my chest. It takes less time for her to burp this time. He gently places her in the bassinet when she can't hold her eyelids open. I gaze down at Tessa when she stops nursing and her eyes are closed and her mouth is hanging open. I pat her back for a time but she never burps.

"Do you want me to put her in her crib?" he asks.

"No, I'd like to keep her downstairs with us," I say.

"I'll go get her bouncy seat," he says. "She can sleep in it." He's gone and back in a flash then puts her in the vibrating seat and buckles her in.

"I'm going to go get the files I need from your office," I say. "Can I have the key?"

"I'll go get them," he says.

"I can do it," I say.

"I would feel better if I did it," he says. "I'm sure nothing will happen but it's better to be safe than sorry."

"Okay," I say.

"Do you have the list of names?" I ask.

"It's on my desk," he says. I walk him to the door, and he gently caresses my face with the backs of his fingertips then lowers his lips to mine. He kisses me softly, sweetly then sighs. Before he straightens up he whispers in my ear, "I'm counting the hours, Mrs. Eaton." His lips graze my temple then he disappears out the door. I take a deep breath then blow it out, willing my racing heart to slow. I should be used to it by now but it still amazes me that he can arouse me with one simple statement. As I turn to head back into the living room the doorbell rings.

"What?" I ask as I open the door. "Did you forget your key?" I'm expecting Tobias on the other side of the threshold but instead find Ruth.


	78. Chapter 78

I rudely stand at my open door, staring at Peter's mother openmouthed. I know I wouldn't be having this absurd reaction if Zeke hadn't just told Tobias a mere few hours ago that Molly had met with her aunt this very morning. _I can't believe she's here._ It must be a coincidence, it has to be. I continue to stare, frozen in place until Tyler comes up beside me.

"Who this, Mommy?" he brightly asks as he tugs on my pant leg.

"Ruth, I am so sorry," I say, finally finding my manners. "Please come in." I suddenly have the strong desire to have my kids close to me so I reach down and pick Tyler up, which surprises him but he takes full advantage and wraps his arms tightly around me and lays his head on my shoulder. I told Tobias that I trust her completely but now that I have her right here in front of me, I'm doubting my own feelings. I step out of her way and motion her into the living room with my hand, not wanting to turn my back on her. Part of me wishes that Zeke had just kept his mouth shut then I wouldn't feel like I'm slowly suffocating right now.

"Is everything okay, Beatrice?" she asks, confusion on her face. I'm probably coming across as a total lunatic right now.

"I have to admit that it's been kind of crazy around here lately," I say, trying to cover the real reason for my behavior, "and I wasn't expecting company."

"I am so sorry for just dropping in on you like this unannounced," she says. "I just wanted to bring this to you before the baby was born," she motions to the gift bag I didn't even realize she was carrying until she points it out, "but I see you've already had her. If this is a bad time I can go and stop by some other time."

"Nonsense. I'm glad you dropped by," I say. _Maybe we can get some answers._ "Would you like a cup of coffee?"

"Yes, please," she says, her smile warm and friendly. I'm detecting zero deception on her part. "I would love a cup."

"Please sit down, and I'll start a fresh pot," I say.

"Mommy, who this?" Tyler asks again, staring intently at our guest, studying her every move. _Is he picking up on my distrust?_ He's trying to whisper in my ear but he's louder than he normally is.

"Tyler, this is my friend Ruth," I say, feeling very uncomfortable here alone with the kids. _Where are you, Tobias?_ "Ruth, this is my son, Tyler."

"Well hello, Tyler," she says, taking a step closer to us. "Don't you look exactly like your father." He beams at the unexpected compliment. At the mention of Tobias, the front door opens, and he walks into the room, his head bowed looking at the files in his hands.

"I found all five of the women, Tri..." My name fades into nothingness when he looks up and sees Ruth standing next to me, and I see his Four mask transform his face, although I'm 100% certain she can't. "Ruth. Hello."

"Good afternoon, Four," she cordially says but I think she's sensing our nervousness. "I came to drop off a present for your new baby but if this is a bad time, I could come back later. I heard about your fellow leader's death. That is so tragic."

"Ruth, you're more than welcome to stay," I say. "Tyler, buddy, why don't you go play in your room?"

"Otay," he happily says. I give him a big hug and kiss then set him on his feet. He waves at all of us then quickly disappear up the stairs.

"Four, will you help me with the coffee?" I ask. "Ruth, please sit down and make yourself at home." We watch as she sits on the end of the couch then excuse ourselves into the kitchen.

"What's she doing here?" he asks, his voice low but urgent.

"She just showed up right after you left for your office," I whisper. "She says she's dropping off a gift."

"This isn't a coincidence," he says.

"Maybe … maybe not," I say, not knowing what to think. I'm so confused right now. Do I trust how she's made me feel in the past, welcomed and quite frankly, loved? Or do I trust this new found, slightly irrational fear that's building inside? "Maybe we can get some information out of her."

"I don't like this," he says.

"Do you trust me?" He stares down at me, not saying a word with a fiercely protective look in his darkening eyes.

"I won't let her hurt you," he says.

"I don't think she will," I say, which I believe wholeheartedly. "Will you please go ask how she takes her coffee? If she's a spy for Molly, I'm sure she's already suspicious of our odd behavior."

"Okay," he says. He presses his lips to my forehead and lingers for a bit then marches into the living room. I listen to their small talk while I get a tray out of the pantry and three mugs out of the cupboard above the coffeemaker. I check the refrigerator, freezer, and pantry for something to serve our unexpected guest but the search just emphasizes the fact that I need to get groceries. When the coffee finishes brewing, I pour us each a steaming cup then carry the tray into the other room and sit it on the coffee table.

"You like it black, don't you?" I ask Ruth as I hand her the mug and she nods. "I remembered after I sent Four in to ask." I hand Tobias his mug and indicate with my eyes that he needs to stop nervously pacing back and forth then sit down in the club chair with mine.

"Forgive me for being blunt but you two have been acting strangely ever since I got here," she says, displaying a Candor trait I've never seen in her before, directness. "Please be honest with me. Have I done something to offend you?" Well, here goes nothing.

"Why did Molly Atwood come to see you this morning?" I ask. She looks taken aback by the question but recovers quickly.

"I knew that little tart was up to something when she dropped by Candor out of the blue this morning. What's the silly twit done now?" she asks somewhat exasperatedly. "That girl! I swear she's going to send my poor sister to an early grave." I know my mouth falls open as she speaks and Tobias' Four mask falls away and is replaced by a mistrustful confusion. As she takes in our expressions, she knits her brows together.

"Ruth, you know I like you but it seems odd that she visited you this morning and you show up here this afternoon," I say. "Did she send you here for some reason?"

"No!" she says. At first she seems irritated but then it quickly turns into a sadness. "Why would you think that I would do anything she asked me to do?"

"I don't want to think it," I say, "but Molly hates me and has a vendetta against me, Four, and Dauntless. She could be using you."

"Beatrice, how do I say this without sounding like a heartless woman? My youngest niece is the black sheep of the family. She has given her mother nothing but trouble since her father died. We were all happy when she left Candor. I hated that my son was so close to her but I'm just learning that they were more alike than I would ever allow myself to believe. Maybe it was him who influenced her. I don't know."

"She didn't send you? You're not working for her?" Tobias asks.

"No, Four. She didn't send me. I had the day off, saw this package by the door, and thought I would bring it by," she say. "It's a coincidence that I saw her this morning."

"I'm still having a hard time believing that's true," he says.

"What can I do to make you believe me?"

"Tell us everything you know about Molly and Drew," I say. "I can't go into details because it's an ongoing investigation but their names are on top of our suspect list in three deaths and one disappearance. We need some background information from someone who knows them both well."

"Where should I begin?" she asks. "Molly's father died in an accident when she was 5. Her brother and sister were 7 and 6. As expected, they all took it hard but Molly took it the worst. It completely changed her. Gone was the sweet little girl she had always been. She became a handful.

"She was always her father's favorite, and he did nothing to hide it. He spoiled her something fierce. After his death, she started rebelling, getting into trouble. The older she got, the worse it was. Then Lillian, her mother, met Jed." She stops and sighs. "Michael and Margarete took to him immediately, he's such a kind and patient man, but Molly wanted nothing to do with him and her rebelling got worse. And to make matters worse, she was never made to face the consequences of her actions. Lillian has connections in Candor, and she made the majority of her infractions just … go away. She would make excuses for her behavior and say it wasn't her fault, she was grieving. I told her she was making matters worse but she wouldn't listen. Molly's a huge pain in the ass but she's still her daughter.

"I don't know Drew as well. He, Peter, and Molly were always close but when Lillian married his uncle, it's like a family bond was born that couldn't be broken. They all had other acquaintances from time to time but they were nothing like their friendship. Most of the time, where you would find one, you would find the other two.

"The one thing that does stand out about Drew is that he's always been a follower. I know it isn't kind to say but I'm not sure that boy has ever had an original thought in his life. He just always went along with whatever Peter or Molly wanted. It's sad really."

"Back to something you said earlier," Tobias says. "Do you known Lillian's connections in Candor?"

"Niles Murphy and Kent Nelson," she says. One very familiar name there. Is this why Niles doesn't seem to like us?

"Kent Nelson? Why is that name familiar?" Tobias asks.

"He's the newest Candor leader," she says. Oh, that's right! We met him in the Dauntless holding room the morning Brody and Ana were interviewed under truth serum.

"Of course," he says. "Do you happen to know Peter, Molly, and Drew's other acquaintances?"

"Let's see," she says. A faraway look settles on her face while she mulls this question over. "There was this younger girl Molly would hang out with from time to time. Drew and Peter pretty much kept to themselves. And of course there's their babysitter, Lauren."

"Do you know Lauren's last name?" I ask, trying to hide this giddy feeling. We're getting answers!

"Um, Johnson, Jennings, Jones. Something like that anyway," she says. Lauren Jones, head of the Dauntless technical staff and privy to the investigation into Molly and Drew. She was also in the training room at the same time the unknown subject was.

"Can you describe the younger girl she hung out with from time to time?" I ask.

"Yeah. Red hair, green eyes, tall, rather pretty."

"Am I mistaken or did she just describe Olivia?" I ask Tobias, once my eyes land on his.

"Yes, that's her name," she excitedly says. "I don't know why I forgot. Olivia Nelson, Kent's daughter."

"Do you know if she ever socialized with a girl named Samantha or Sam Lawrence?" Tobias asks.

"Um," she says, her brows furrowed. "I believe so but I think is was Sami instead of Sam or Samantha." Molly knew Sam, too! I think I could kiss Ruth right now.

"You know her character better than a lot of people," Tobias says. "Do you think she could blame us for Peter's death?"

"Yes," she immediately says. "I have zero doubt that she blames you both. She tells anyone who will listen. I've tried to tell her that you are in no way responsible but she has her mind made up. She's irrationally angry. I'm sorry. I should have told you this before."

"Is she seeking revenge?" I ask.

"She's never come right out and said those exact words to me … I would have immediately contacted you if she had … but Peter believed in getting payback against ones aggressors. He learned it from his father, so I definitely wouldn't put it past them. Have I helped you?" I look at Tobias and his expression softens.

"Tremendously," I say, once again believing that this woman sitting before me is a good friend. "Can I ask one more question? What did Molly want from you this morning?"

"She didn't want anything that I know of," she says. "I was coming from breakfast with a few ladies I work with, and I ran into her. It really was nothing more than a quick hello, some small talk, and then I went home. I'm not fond of Molly. Like I said earlier, she really only causes trouble and heartache wherever she goes." We'll have to ask Zeke about where she was coming from and where she went. Obviously the information he gave Tobias was skewed.

"I have to apologize for my behavior," I say. "We're keeping tabs on Molly, and when she was seen with you this morning it was reported to us immediately. I hate to admit this but I doubted you. I can understand if you're angry with me."

"I'm not angry," she says and by the look on her face, I believe her. "I'm sorry that my relationship with Peter and Molly had you doubting me but I understand why it did. You've been traumatized time and again by them, and I can see how suspicious it looked that we ran into each other on the very day I decide to drop in on you. Heck, I'm mistrustful of her myself so I know how you feel. I'm not angry, Beatrice, and I hope we can still be friends."

"Of course, we're friends," I say. I hear Peanut and know she'll want nursed soon so I get up and go to the bassinet. "There's someone I want you to meet." I sit down next to her so she can see the small pink bundle in my arms. "This is Teagan Grace."

"Oh, she's beautiful," she says. "She looks just like you."

"I keep telling her that," Tobias says. "If you two will excuse me for a moment, I'm going to check on Tyler. Things are entirely too quiet upstairs." He gets up and starts toward the stairs but stops and goes toward the bassinet. "Come here, Pebbles." He picks Tessa up who is bright eyed and all smiles. "This one needs a new diaper so I'll take her with me."

"Okay," I say. I watch until he disappears from my sight.

"Tessa looks just like Tyler," she says.

"Yes, she does," I say. "They look like Four, and Peanut here looks like me."

"You must have your hands full," she says.

"Oh, I do," I say. "But I wouldn't change a single thing. My husband and my children are my world. Would you like to hold her? She's starting to get hungry so she might get cranky on you."

"I would love to," she says. I carefully place the swaddled bundle in Ruth's welcoming arms and watch as tears gather in her eyes. I'm sure she's thinking about what Peter told her about my daughter being her grandchild. She wipes the moisture away and smiles at me. "Please open my gift." I pick up the pink gift bag adorned with a stork on one side next to the message "Special Delivery" sitting at her feet and remove some white tissue paper to reveal a beautiful soft rose colored baby blanket. I drag it out of the sack and marvel at how soft it feels.

"It's beautiful," I say. "This is amazing. It looks like roses." I run my hand over the supple material. "Thank you so much. You didn't have to bring us anything though."

"I wanted to," she says. "I have to say you're getting along pretty good for having such a tiny one here at home."

"Don't let her looks fool you," I say. "She's already over a month old." This news surprises her. "I went into labor quite early. She weighed in at a whopping 5 pounds 2 ounces when she made her entrance but she was perfectly healthy, and we were able to bring her home when I was released three days later. She's gained over a pound and a half but she's not getting any longer. I think she's going to be short like her mommy."

"I can tell your mommy loves you very much, Teagan," she says just as Peanut starts fussing. "I can hear it in her voice."

"Are you hungry, Peanut?" I ask. I stick my knuckle in her mouth and she suckles on it, indicating a yes.

"I should be going," Ruth says as she gets up off the couch. She kisses Peanut's head before very carefully putting my baby in my arms. "I've taken up enough of your time already today."

"Nonsense," I say. "You can stay."

"No, I really must be going," she says. "I have a coffee date before dinner. I'm so nervous. I haven't had a date in so long."

"Just be yourself, Ruth, and you'll be fine," I say. "You're more than welcome to stop by any time. I wish I would have given you a warmer welcome. I'm truly sorry."

"No apologies necessary … _if_ you promise to bring this beauty and her brother and sister by to see me from time to time." I smile at her demand.

"It would be my pleasure," I say giving her a loose one-armed hug. I walk her to the door and say, "Have fun on your date. The next time we see each other, you'll have to tell me all about it."

"I will," she says. "Goodbye, Beatrice." I watch as she heads down the stairs then go back into the apartment and lock the door.

"Let's get your belly full, Peanut." I run my finger along her cheek as I walk to the club chair, and she smiles up at me. "Does that tickle?"

"Where's Ruth?" Tobias asks as Peanut starts nursing. He sits on the couch with Tessa on his lap, chewing on her purple butterfly and Tyler sits on the floor playing with some toys he just got out of the toy box.

"She went home," I say. He gets his phone out of his pocket and makes a call.

"Yeah, Zeke. She just left … Let me know."

"You're having her watched, aren't you?" He looks up at me, carefully hiding his emotions. I sigh then say, "I'm not angry, Tobias. I understand why you're doing it. It's actually smart. Although I trust her completely, she could be hiding something from us or worse yet working with Molly."

"Thank you for trusting my judgment and not fighting with me on this one, love," he says, visibly relaxing into the couch cushions. "And just for the record, after our conversation, I don't think she's hiding anything from us either but I'd feel better knowing for sure."

"What do you think of the fact that Molly knows Lauren, Olivia, and Sam?" I ask.

"Information overload. We've wanted answers for so long and now that we've got some, I don't know what to do with them. I know the first thing I want to do is talk to Kirsten but I don't know how to do that without arousing suspicions. I also need to pull a seasoned programmer to my office to tell me why I can't access all the files without alerting Lauren to what I'm looking for."

"Text Kirsten from my phone and ask how long she's working. If she wants to know why I'm asking, tell her we need a new computer and want to buy it from her."

"We don't need a new computer," he says. I raise my brows at him. He must be tired or has something on his mind because he's usually quicker. "Oh, right. It's a ruse." I get my phone out and hand it to him. After about five minutes of texting back and forth, we have an appointment with her at 7 p.m. Hopefully, she can give us some details about what happened in the training room that morning.

"Are you alright?" I ask Tobias but he doesn't seem to hear me. I get up and put Peanut, who immediately fell back to sleep after nursing, in her bassinet and kiss her head. I sit next to Tobias and drag Tessa into my lap. She snuggles into my chest and closes her eyes. "What's wrong, baby?" He puts his arm around me, draws me close, and places a soft kiss to my temple.

"Nothing really," he says. "I guess I was thinking about our meeting with Bobby's parents. How do you think we should handle this? My Abnegation side is telling me that we need to talk it out but my stronger Dauntless side really wants to just punch his father in the face and order him to get his shit together and get his kid in line or don't bother bringing him back to the daycare center." He frustratingly rubs his hand over his face and sighs. "I'm continually having to remind myself that Bobby is only 4 years old and more than likely doesn't fully understand the weight of his actions. What do you think, love?"

"Let's go the Abnegation route to start with," I say. "Maybe they aren't aware of his actions because no one has told them yet."

"I can't imagine but I guess it's possible," he says. "Should we put the kids down for a nap? Then you can rest for an hour or so before we have to go to the Pit."

"I think I'll take you up on your offer, Mr. Eaton," I say with a yawn. It's been a long emotional day and it's far from over. First, he picks Tyler up off the floor. He must have worn himself out after lunch because he fell asleep playing with his fire engine and dump truck. When he comes back down he takes Tessa out of my arms, and I get Peanut out of the bassinet. After going upstairs, we put the girls in their cribs then head into our bedroom.

"Sleep, love," he says as he wraps his arms around me and kisses the top of my head. I snake my arms around his waist and lift my lips to his. He smiles as his mouth softly lands on mine. The tension of the day melts away as the kiss intensifies. Too soon though he pulls away with a groan.

"Will you lie down with me for a little bit?" I ask, trying to keep the pout out of my voice. "It helps me fall asleep." He takes a deep breath and stares into my eyes for the longest time.

"You know I try to give you whatever you want but I … just … can't. I'm sorry, love."

"Believe it or not, I understand," I say, disappointed that my husband can't just lie down next to me. The irrational need we often feel for each other is strong right now, and I don't think either one of us would be able to stop if we started something. I go up on my tiptoes and kiss his cheek before moving my lips to his ear. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he says. "I'll be in the office if you need me."

"Don't let me sleep too long," I say glancing at the clock. "I want to be refreshed for our meeting, not lethargic."

"You got it." He pulls our quilt back and motions for me to get in bed. I do and as my head hits the pillow, he lays the quilt over my fatigued body. He kisses my forehead then walks out of the room. Irrational tears that match my irrational need well up in my eyes, and I don't try to stop them. Maybe I need a good cleansing cry right now. I close my eyes and try to surrender to the fatigue but it does no good. When I feel the bed sag, I roll over. I look up into Tobias' eyes and see pain.

"You don't have to lie with me," I say, trying to hide the crushing rejection I feel.

"Yeah, I do," he says, wiping away the traitor tears. "I didn't mean to make you cry."

"I'm sorry, too," I say, the tears coming harder. "Just hold me, please."

"Of course," he says. I roll back over and he pulls me to him until his body is wrapped around mine. I rest my head on his biceps and lace my fingers with his. Just his presence relaxes me, and I'm able to fall into a deep, peaceful sleep.


	79. Chapter 79

I adjust Peanut in her sling as my feet slowly carry me down the long, steep, winding path toward the Pit. Tobias thoughtfully let me sleep for about an hour this afternoon then I freshened up for our meeting with Bobby Ridinger's parents. We've been careful not to touch each other since I fell asleep in his arms earlier. The temptation is just too great but I'm craving his contact so I reach out and take his hand in mine. After a couple steps I sneak a peek up at him, and he's looking down at me.

"I need to apologize about earlier," I say. "You didn't make me cry … the stupid hormones did. You know, no one ever told me that the irrational ups and downs I had throughout the pregnancy would plague me long afterwards. A warning would have been nice." He chuckles at my comment, probably secretly agreeing with me.

"You don't have to apologize," he says. "I should have laid down with you to begin with, saved you the tears and me the …"

"Distress?"

"No heartache," he says as a frown overtakes his beautiful face. I hate that I'm the one who put it there. "Seeing you with tears in your eyes is always hard but knowing I'm the one who put them there was gut-wrenching." It always amazes me how much we think alike. I look around us but see no one following or approaching.

"I wanted you. That's why the tears came. It wasn't your fault or mine," I quietly say, color flooding my cheeks for being so bold in public. "Do you have an idea of a different way we can work off these … _feelings_? I don't want to keep doing this."

"Well short of moving into separate apartments …"

"Not an option."

"Separate bedrooms?" I emphatically shake my head no. Hell, I'd end up a walking zombie. My sleep isn't refreshing without him by my side. Suddenly his eyes light up. "The training room! We both need to take an hour a day and go to the training room to work off this … excess energy."

"Not a bad idea, Mr. Eaton," I say. "Maybe I should stop by the infirmary after our meeting and get it okayed with Zander or Isobel if she happens to be there. I've been feeling really good, and I wouldn't want to hurt anything."

"You jumped on and off a train," he says. "I'm sure that beating the hell out of a punching bag would be fine."

"I'd still like to ask. The last time I talked to Isobel she said no exercise until my next appointment," I say.

"I must have missed that," he says.

"I think we were both sleep walking that day," I say with a giggle.

"God, I love that sound," he mumbles. He hesitates for a moment then drapes his arm over my shoulder and kisses my temple. I put my arm around his waist and cuddle into his side.

"How's our little Peanut doing?" Tobias asks as we stop outside the door of the daycare center. He peeks inside the sling at our sleeping daughter.

"She's got her belly full so she content just sleeping against her mommy's chest," I say, caressing her plump little cheek causing her lips to curl up in a smile.

"She's so stinking cute," he says. He's not wrong about that.

"Are you ready for this?" I ask. He takes a deep breath and blows it out.

"Even if I wasn't, it needs to be done," he says. "I'm tired of this boy making Tyler feel bad about himself. It stops today." He gives me a quick kiss then opens the door for me.

"Thank you," I say.

"Hello, Four, Tris, oh and little Miss Teagan," Mrs. Wheeler says as she comes down the hallway. "Jennifer Chaucer is waiting for us in my office."

"Where's Bobby's father?" Tobias asks as we head up the hallway.

"His biological father is deceased. He died just after Bobby's first birthday," she says with empathy in her voice. "I'm afraid Jennifer didn't say where her husband is." When we walk into the room a very thin, anxious, familiar-looking woman with a chin-length brown bob jumps to her feet. She looks scared to death as her eyes glide from me to Tobias then she bows her head and averts her eyes. For a second I'm transported to Abnegation by her behavior. "Mrs. Chaucer, this is Four and Tris Prior. They would like to speak to you about your son." The three of us sit down in the chairs proffered, and Mrs. Wheeler sits behind her clutter-free desk.

"May I call you Jennifer?" Tobias asks.

"Y-yes," she stutters nervously.

"Where's your husband?" he asks. "He needs to be here also." I swear I see her pallid complexion pale two complete shades when he asks about her husband.

"He couldn't make it," she quietly says. "I can take care of this."

"If he's working, I can excuse him for the time he'll miss," he says. She looks at the floor and fidgets with the button on her sweater. It takes me a while but I finally realize who she reminds me of … Ruth when she was still with her abusive husband, Porter. Tobias is on the edge of his seat, ready to jump to his feet at any moment. I reach over and gently touch his arm. He looks my way, and I shake my head just once.

"Jennifer, please look at me," I say, my voice steady and strong. She finally raises her head but her eyes don't quite meet mine but I do see fear in them. "It's important that he be here for this meeting. I take it he isn't at work." She confirms my suspicions with a quick shake of her head. "Then where is he?"

" _Please_ just let me take care of this," she desperately says. "He won't want to be disturbed."

"I don't care what he wants," Tobias says, trying to keep his cool. He's angry but not at her. "Where is he?"

"At the bar," she finally says. "He goes every afternoon."

"Stay here," Tobias says to her. "Tris." He gets to his feet and heads toward the door.

"Excuse me," I say as I get up and follow him. Before he makes his call I say, "We need to change our tactics with her."

"I know," he says. "That could be Evelyn sitting in that room. It's like I'm looking at a ghost. She needs to make a complaint or there's nothing we can do. If she does that, we can arrest him. He'll do jail time then become factionless. But until she says something…" He rubs his hand through his hair. I know this is bringing up disturbing memories for him.

"I know. Let me talk to her," I say. He stops me before I go back inside. "What is it?"

"He's probably hurting the boy, too, which is making him act out," he quietly says. Does he know that from experience? God, I hope not. "Send Mrs. Wheeler out. I need to talk to her."

"Okay," I say. I cup his cheek and he leans into my palm. "I'm right here if you need me." _No one will ever hurt you again, my love._ He leans in and gives me a tender kiss.

"I know. I'm alright, love," he says but I know different. I see it in his eyes. "I might have to stop by the training room for an hour or two after this is all over though."

"I totally understand where you're coming from. I feel like punching something right now, and I have a feeling it's only going to get worse before it gets better," I say then go back into the office. "Mrs. Wheeler, Four would like to speak with you in the hallway."

"Okay, Tris," she says. I notice that she, too, is as white as a ghost. I wonder if she suspected abuse in this family. Then again, she was trained by the old regime to look the other way. After she closes the door behind her, I sit down in the chair right next to Jennifer's.

"What my husband and I wanted to talk to you about is the fact that Bobby has been – I guess picking on is the best way to put it – picking on our son." She furrows her brows but says nothing. "For the past few months, Bobby has continually told Tyler that because he and his little sister, Tessa, are adopted Four and I don't love them because they aren't our _real_ children." Her face falls when she hears this but still makes no move to say anything. "Tyler started acting out right before Choosing Day, and he finally confided in me what had been going on so, as protocol dictates, Four and I brought the problem to Mrs. Wheeler. She hadn't noticed any bad behavior toward Tyler but Bobby confirmed it and apologized to him. We thought the problem had been solved but this morning Tyler didn't want to come to daycare, and after a little prodding, he told us that Bobby has been at it again. Needless to say, Four and I are very upset. Bobby has Tyler convinced that we don't love him and Tessa as much as we love the new baby and that we don't want them at home since they have to go to daycare and Teagan gets to stay at home with me when in fact the truth is, I had a C-section. I couldn't take care of all three kids by myself. Deep down Tyler knows all this but with Bobby whispering in his ear day in and day out that he's unloved, he's insecure about our feelings. It needs to stop _now_. Do you have any idea why Bobby keeps saying these things?"

"No," she softly says.

"You remind me of a very dear friend," I say after I study her body language for a time. She looks up at me, her face unreadable. If I didn't know better I'd say she's been taking lessons from Tobias. "When I first met her she was timid … jumpy … tense … _submissive_. She has blossomed since she freed herself from the clutches of her abusive husband." Technically the city did it for her but she doesn't need to know that part. She flinches when I say abusive and diverts her eyes away from mine. "She has a new job she loves, new friends she can be herself with, a new apartment she finally feels at home in, a new style that matches her new outlook, and a brand new attitude to go with everything. Tell me, Jennifer, does your husband hurt you? Does he hurt Bobby?"

"This is highly inappropriate," she says, obviously frightened.

"If I'm wrong, tell me I'm wrong. I'll leave you alone." She sits staring at the floor, not saying a word. She may not be able to admit that he abuses her but she can't deny it either, which I think is a good sign. "If you tell us what he's doing to you, we can help you _and_ Bobby. Four will arrest him, he will go to jail, and then he'll become factionless. He won't hurt you or your son ever again. I promise. You've just got to say the words. That's it. I can't help you if you're not willing to help yourself." I see a single tear slide down her cheek and fall into her lap. "Mrs. Wheeler told me that Bobby's father passed away when he was one. I'm sorry for your loss."

"It was a long time ago," she says, each word clipped.

"Do you have any other children?" I ask, trying to get her to trust me a little.

"A daughter, Becca," she says, thawing a bit.

"How old is she?" I ask, sensing that the way in is through her children.

"She just turned 8 months old earlier this week."

"Bobby must love his little sister," I say. "Tyler dotes on Tessa and Teagan." Her softening nature vanishes and she turns frigid.

"I'll talk to Bobby, tell him what he's saying isn't right. He'll listen to me," she coldly says. "Is that all?" I sigh which captures her attention, and she raises her eyes to mine.

"I want to help you, Jennifer," I say. "It's obvious you love your children. I can help you get them away from a bad situation but you have to tell me about it."

"Tris, thank you for your concern," she says. "I really do appreciate it." It's the first time since I've met her that she sounds completely sincere. "But there is nothing to tell you." _Damn! Maybe I pushed her too hard._ "Now, I've got to get the kids home and supper ready." When she stands up, I do too. She turns her back and heads toward the door. I reach out and put my hand on her shoulder, and she flinches away from my touch like she's in pain so I quickly remove it.

"If you ever change your mind, you have a friend in me," I say. "You have access to Four and me 24 hours a day. Don't hesitate to call."

"For the last time, I don't need your help." She opens to door and marches into the hallway. The minute she sees her husband being escorted down the hallway toward us by Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo, I see her shoulders slump and suddenly remember where it is I know her from. She and her husband were coming out of the daycare center as we were going in, and we almost ran right into each other. Jennifer offered her apology but her husband just gave her a hard look. It was almost as if he didn't like the fact that she spoke without permission.

"What's your brat done now?" he slurs when he stops in front of us. As much as I want to rip his tongue out, I hold mine.

"Your step son has been bullying my son and, according to Mrs. Wheeler, some of the other children, too, for approximately 18 months," Tobias says, his Four mask firmly in place. 18 months? That accounts for his mother's pregnancy and the time since little Becca was born. Maybe he _doesn't_ love his baby sister the way Tyler loves his. "This is a new Dauntless and behavior such as his won't be tolerated."

"What are you going to do? Kick him out?" He laughs almost belligerently. "I'd say good riddance but he _is_ only 4. I doubt his mother would allow it. I wouldn't care though." His words run together, and I look at the clock. What job affords him the time to drink the afternoon away? Tobias takes a step forward and gets right in his face.

"Is that a way to talk about a child?" he asks, his voice like ice.

"I'll speak any way I damn well please about the good for nothing little shit," he says. Tobias takes him by the throat and slams him up against the wall. I look at Jennifer, and she's got her head bowed, and she's looking anywhere but the scene unfolding in front of her. I step up in front of her and put my face in hers so that she has no choice but to look at me.

"Do you let him speak to your son that way?" I ask, trying to rein in the sudden fury I'm feeling. Maybe I was wrong about her loving her children. "I'm married, and I love my husband very much but if he spoke about _my_ son in that way, I'd kill him. How can you stand here and listen to this piece of shit say these things about your little boy knowing that Bobby is right down the hall and probably listening? It's no wonder he acts out.

"The first time I noticed your son he said something to Tyler that hurt his feelings but instead of saying something back to him, Tyler took a book away from one of his little friends because, in his own words, he wanted her to feel like Bobby was making him feel. Is it possible this is why he does what he does? If all he ever gets is negative attention at home that is the only kind of attention he knows how to give. Four, I think we need to call Sheila Watkins."

"I agree," he growls, still face-to-face with the asshole.

"W-who is S-Sheila Watkins?" Jennifer stutters.

"She's a social worker specializing in abused and neglected children," I say. I'm not sure if that's her correct job title or not but it sounds good for what I'm needing at the moment, Jennifer to open up to me.

"No!" she screams. "You can't take my babies from me."

"This isn't about _you_ ," I spit. "This is about Bobby and what's best for him. From what I've seen and heard in the past few minutes, neither of you give a crap about that little boy who is probably dying inside for a compliment. Does he know anything good, Jennifer? Do you read to him? Do you play with him? Do you tuck him in at night and tell him that you love him more than anything? Do you allow him to play with his baby sister so they can bond and love each other? What do you do for him? Do you shield him from your husband's belt? Do you protect him from his vile, hateful spewing? Or do you only think of yourself?"

"If I don't do everything exactly the way he wants it," she stops and takes a deep breath, silent tears rolling down her face then everything comes pouring out, "he beats me." She turns her back to me and pulls the loose fitting sweater off her shoulder revealing the ugly purple bruises overlying the faded green ones. _Bastard! No one should be treated this way._ "If Bobby does anything he doesn't like, he locks him in his room and won't let him have meals." She pulls the sleeve back up and bows her head then turns around.

"The love of my life, Bobby's dad, was murdered the day after his first birthday. I didn't know how to function so I shut down emotionally. I physically took care of him and his needs but emotionally I wasn't there. Then I met Dale. By the time I realized the way he was treating me wasn't right, I was in too deep. Plus Bobby needed a father, and he never hurt him … not until I got pregnant with Becca. That's when Dale's attitude about Bobby started to change." I look over at Tobias who still has Dale by the throat. I motion to Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo to make sure he doesn't hurt the scum. They pull him off and each take the drunkard by the arms, not allowing him to move away from the wall. He stands there gasping for breath, staring down Jennifer who refuses to look his way. Mrs. Wheeler excuses herself and goes to get Bobby who peeked his head out into the hallway, watching the confrontation with awe on his face. "Once our daughter was born, Bobby couldn't do anything right in his book no matter how hard he tried to please him. Dale belittles him, makes fun of him, talks down to him, terrorizes him … and I let him because, _yes_ , I'm terrified of my husband. He's done horrible things to me, too. Are you going to call the social worker? I know it may not seem like it but I love my kids."

"Four?"

"Here's the deal, Jennifer. Are you willing to press charges against your husband?"

"Yes," she says, her voice and body shaking.

"You will need to testify at his hearing under truth serum," he says.

"I can't do that," she says. "Everyone will know what he did to me."

"Jennifer?" She slides her eyes to mine. "I'm sure you were a totally different person when you were with Bobby's father. Remember her."

"Rob." She reverently whispers his name like it's the first time it's passed her lips in years.

"Remember the friend I told you about who blossomed when she came out from under the thumb of her abusive husband?" I ask and she nods, her eyes laser focused on mine. "That _will_ be you one day, too. You just need to learn to believe in yourself again. I know it will take time but getting him out of your life and Bobby and Becca's _forever_ is the first step. All you have to do is agree to testify."

"Yes, I'll do it," she says.

"Are you willing to get counseling for yourself and for Bobby?" Tobias asks.

"I'll do anything to make this right for Bobby," she says.

"You'll have to file for divorce and termination of his parental rights," Tobias says. "Do you have a problem with this?"

"No," she says.

"You can't do this," Dale spews. "This is my family, and I will deal with them any way I see fit. _Do you hear me_?" Jennifer slowly walks up in front of her husband, and I see Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo tighten their grips on his arms.

"I loved you once … but you ruined it," she softly says. Her back is to me but her head is held high so I know that she's looking him in the eye for the first time in ages. "I never should have allowed myself to be treated the way you treated me, and I definitely should have done a better job of protecting my son from a monster like you. And that's exactly what you are, a monster. You will never hurt him again."

"Bitch, these charges aren't going to stick, and you're going to be sorry … you and your little bastard," he growls and she jumps back, her body quaking with fear.

"He can't hurt you," I say. "Four and I will see to it."

"Take this garbage to the holding cells," Tobias says. "Get him out of my sight before I do something I can't take back." Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo literally drag him down the hallway and Jennifer's legs buckle under her and she collapses to the floor. Tobias and I both kneel down beside her, me being mindful of Peanut who slept through the entire confrontation. She buries her face in her hands, sobbing. Bobby comes out into the hallway and timidly approaches his mother.

"Are you okay, Mommy?" he asks. "Where did they take Daddy?" Jennifer lifts her head and looks at her son.

"He's not your Daddy, baby," she finally says. I expect confusion but his face is blank. "Your Daddy was kind and wonderful and he loved you more than anything in this world … just like I love you. I'm so sorry I brought that man into your life. No one will ever hurt you again, Bobby. I promise." He throws his arms around his mother's neck, and they hold tightly to one another. Tobias gets up off the floor then helps me to my feet. We move around them, giving them what privacy a hallway in the daycare center affords then I take his hand and pull him into Mrs. Wheeler's office.

"I have to admit that this didn't go like I thought it would," I say.

"I know." He puts his hands on either side of my face and caresses my cheeks with his thumbs.

"We did a good thing, right?" I ask.

"You did a wonderful thing," Jennifer quietly says from the doorway. Tobias drops his hands and whirls around. "I forgot there were kind people in the city." She takes a deep breath before she nervously continues. "I have something to ask you. Are there any job openings in Dauntless? Dale wouldn't allow me work. He said a woman's place was in the home. I don't have a way to provide for my children without his paycheck, which I hate to admit is one of the reasons I tolerated the abuse. He isolated me from everyone and everything I ever loved."

"There are. Can I let you know what they are in the morning?" Tobias asks. "I unfortunately don't know what jobs we have open right now but I promise I'll give you options."

"Thank you."

"Let's sit down," he says, motioning to the chairs in front of us. "Dale is being taken to a holding cell here in Dauntless. He will be transferred to Candor for trial as soon as I work out the details with Jack Kang."

"Four and I will let you know when you need to go to Candor for questioning. The process is not a lengthy one. Depending on the type of interview you are given, you will either be in a holding room or the interrogation room. Truth serum will be injected and you will be asked a series of questions. The first ones are always control questions like your name, born faction, chosen faction, parent's names. If you don't fight the serum, you'll feel no ill effects. Once your interview is over, the antiserum will be administered and your part will be done," I say. "There's one last thing you need to know, from this day forward you never have to see him again."

"After we're done here, I would like you to go to the infirmary to have your bruises documented," Tobias says. This request obviously embarrasses her. "I know I'm asking a lot but it will help solidify the case against him."

"We'll go with you and get you situated," I say. "Do you have anyone who can look after the kids?"

"I don't," she says. "I don't have any friends anymore."

"One of the nurses can watch them while the doctor is with you," I say.

"Jennifer, I also want you and Bobby to start counseling sessions as soon as possible so that you can start to heal. I can give you the name of a trusted therapist or Dr. Parrish can."

"Thank you, Four," she says, blushing lightly. She's obviously embarrassed by what has transpired this evening. "Once I pick a job is there a possibility for a new apartment also? I hate to appear greedy but I'd like a fresh start for my children and myself. I tried to build a home in our apartment but it's full of bad memories for both of us."

"Once you pick your job tomorrow, we can assign you a new, centrally located apartment that's better suited to your needs," he says.

"I don't know how to thank you," she says, wetness gathering in her eyes.

"The only thanks we need is for you, Bobby, and Becca to live a good life," I say.

"There is one last thing," she says then pauses for quite some time.

"Jennifer?" Tobias finally asks.

"It's about Rob … Robert Ridinger," she says. She raises her head and looks at us both before continuing. "I know things are hectic around here right now with Tori missing and the unsolved deaths but when things get back to normal, can you look into his murder? No one has ever been able to tell me what happened to him. One day we were blissfully happy and the next … he was just gone."

"I'll make a note to look into it but I can't make any promises. There might not be any answers to find," he says.

"That's all I'm asking," she says.

"I'll be in my office tomorrow morning unless something urgent comes up," Tobias says. "We'll walk you to the infirmary."

"Thank you again," she says then goes to get her kids.

"How did you know that threatening to call Sheila would get her to open up?" Tobias asks as he stops me from following her out of the door.

"I could tell that she loved her children but was terrified of him. I thought threatening that bond was the key to getting her to choose them over the fear," I say. "She was just stuck in a very bad situation. I gave her a way out. I'm glad she took it."

"So am I. You are a very smart woman, Mrs. Eaton," he says. "Beautiful, too. Sexy as hell."

"Thank you, Mr. Eaton," I say, blushing softly. "Just in case you're wondering, I think you're a sexy, sexy man and I love you very much." He gives me a tender kiss then straightens up and takes my hand.

"Let's go." We walk to the infirmary in uncomfortable silence. I can sense that Jennifer really doesn't want to be doing this but wants to comply with Tobias' requirements for not calling Sheila. When we enter the waiting room, I see Isobel at the desk and breathe a sigh of relief.

"I'm going to talk to Isobel and have her help you," Tobias says. When we sit down on the chairs to wait, I get Peanut out of the sling and put her up to my shoulder. She holds her head high, looking around at things.

"You'll like Isobel," I say. "She's a wonderful person. She helped me through a particularly rough period in my life." I don't elaborate about what Peter put me through but my chest squeezes tightly at the memories running through my mind and I flinch.

"Someone hurt you?" she quietly asks. I drop my eyes and take a deep breath.

"Yes," is all I say.

"I'm sorry you had to endure whatever it was," she says. "Can I trust her with my secrets? This Isobel person?"

"Yes, you can."

"Thank you for pushing. The minute I saw him in the hallway I knew I was in trouble. He would have hurt me when we got home and probably Bobby, too. I can't believe I let him do that."

"All of that is in the past now," I say. "What's important is the future. You got away from him." I see Tobias, Isobel, and Marlene approaching out of the corner of my eye and turn to look at them.

"I'm sorry, Jennifer, but I just realized that Tris and I are late for an appointment." I glance above Marlene's head at the clock on the wall and realize that we were supposed to meet Kirsten more than 15 minutes ago in the electronics store. Thankfully it's close by. "I'm going to leave you in Isobel and Marlene's capable hands. I'll have a list of jobs and apartments available for you tomorrow. You can stop by my office anytime. Tris, we've really got to go, love."


	80. Chapter 80

It's a short walk up the path from the infirmary to the electronics store. As a matter of fact, the store sits directly atop the infirmary. Tobias texted Kirsten telling her we would be late before we left Jennifer and her kids with Isobel and Marlene for her forensics examination. He left strict instructions for the results to be locked up in Zander's office until he can pick them up. We don't want to cause her anymore distress by letting the results get out.

After helping me to my feet in the waiting room, Tobias took Peanut who was busy looking all around at her new surroundings so I could call Avery to check in on Tyler and Tessa. I hear them both in the background. Apparently, Tyler is making funny faces at his little sister, and she's giggling her head off at him. It sounds like they're all having a great time.

"Tyler would like to talk to you, Tris," Avery says after she tells me they're both just fine. "Here he is."

"Hi, Mommy!"

"Hi, buddy," I say. "Mommy and Daddy are getting ready to go into a meeting. Do you need something?"

"Can I stay up with Avey?" he eagerly asks. "PPEEAASS!" My boy! So dramatic.

"You can stay up for _one_ hour with Avery and Callen," I say. "But when she says that it's time to go to bed, you can't argue with her, okay?"

"Otay! Thanks! I love you, Mommy."

"I love you, too, Tyler." I don't get all my words out when I hear something odd then realize he's giving me a kiss through the phone and a smile splays across my face. "Put Avery back on," I say but instead I hear the line go dead. I'm getting ready to redial her number when my phone rings. "Hello?"

"Your son is quick," she says, humor clear in her voice. "So he can stay up an hour?"

"Yeah," I say. "Don't let him use his puppy dog eyes on you to get to stay up longer. He's got to go to daycare in the morning so he has to get up early."

"Those puppy dog eyes are lethal," she chuckles. "How do you ever tell him no?"

"Believe me, it's not easy," I say. "I'm sorry but I've got to go. We'll be home as soon as possible. Thanks again for watching them for us."

"You're welcome. I'll see you later," she says. "Bye."

"Bye."

"Kids alright?" Tobias asks as we stand outside the store. He carefully lies Peanut in my arms, and she immediately starts rooting toward my chest.

"Are you hungry, baby girl?" I ask as I get her situated in the sling then I look up at Tobias. "Yeah, they both love spending time with Avery and Callen. Tyler gave me a kiss over the phone then hung up on me." I chuckle and shake my head as I remember. "I'm sure you picked up on it but I let him stay up an extra hour. He doesn't get enough time with her."

"I know," he says. "And I'm starting to get used to the fact that Callen is always around. She's not a dependant anymore. I really don't have the right to tell her who she can and can't hang out with."

"Actually, when she's watching our kids, I think we do," I say as we walk up to Kirsten. "I'm so sorry we're late. Our meeting ran over."

"I know. It's okay," she says. "I just got done with another customer myself."

"Do you have someplace we can speak in private?" Tobias asks.

"Sure," she says. "We can go to my office." We follow her to the back of the store and into what can only be described as a dark, dank broom closet with the world's tiniest desk after she tells a young-looking girl with a spiked rainbow mohawk and nose piercing that she's not to be disturbed. After my eyes adjust to the dimly lit room, I look around for a surveillance camera but don't find one. "You're not interested in a new computer, are you?" We both shake our heads. "What's this about then?"

"Have you installed a hidden camera in here?" Tobias asks, obviously thinking the exact same thing I was seconds ago. We don't want to be caught talking to her about anything other than electronics right now.

"No," she says, confusion evident on her face. Peanut starts whining, and I know there's no way she can wait to eat until we get home so I pull the sling around her head, pull my shirt aside, and put her to my breast. Tobias grabs a blanket out of the diaper bag and hands it to me, and I toss it over my shoulder.

"Are you working with Molly Atwood?" he asks, turning his attention back to Kirsten. _Alrighty then. Let's just cut to the chase._

"Why in the hell would you think that?" she asks, obviously wounded and more than slightly pissed off. He hands her his phone with the surveillance footage James and Zeke found earlier this week cued up.

"Watch this and you'll understand why we're asking," he says. "Just hit play." She stares blankly at the screen and watches as first Molly and the unknown subject meet on the edge of the factionless sector, then the unknown subject breaks into Tobias' office, and finally the unknown subject goes into the training room only to blend in with a crowd coming out of the woman's locker room. "Did you notice anything out of the ordinary about this video?"

"Whoever that is, is sneaky as hell but it's not me," she says, indignantly. "Why would you think it was?"

"The pants hanging out of your bag," I say as I check on Peanut. Kirsten puts the phone back up in front of her face and watches the footage again.

"Oh. My. God!" she says. "Those aren't my pants. I can't believe I didn't see them when I put the bag away." She jumps up and goes to a floor-to-ceiling locker in the corner of the tiny, damp, stone office. She pulls the bag in question out, sits it on her desk, and opens it up. "I forgot to take this home Tuesday night, and I didn't work yesterday." We all stare at the contents. There before us is a pair of black pants with a thin white stripe down each side laying on top of what looks to be an oversized black sweatshirt.

"Can you get us a shopping bag large enough to put these items in?" Tobias asks. She silently gets to her feet and trudges into the next room. We both know this is the moment of truth. If for some reason I'm wrong and she is involved in this mess, more than likely she'll flee. Hopefully, I'm right though. Just as soon as the thought crosses my mind, she comes back into the room carrying a large black reusable canvas shopping bag with hard plastic handles sturdy enough to carry the evidence in. Tobias lifts the sweatpants out of the duffel being careful not to handle it too much and deposits it into the bag then repeats the maneuver with the sweatshirt. "Without touching any of it, can you tell if everything else is yours?" She looks in the bag, sorting through things with a pen she picked up off her desk.

"It's all mine," she says. I watch as fury transforms her face. "Why the _hell_ would someone do this to me? Is this about what Dante did?" _Hhm. I hadn't thought of that angle._

"We really can't go into detail but more than likely it was just opportunity, you were in the wrong place at the right time," he says. "We have more questions for you. Do you remember anyone coming into the training room the morning of the 4th dressed like this?" He motions to the outfit in the bag. She furrows her brows in concentration.

"I have to be honest, I was working hard that morning on the punching bags, and I had my earbuds in so I wouldn't be disturbed. I don't remember anyone else being in the room with me."

"What about the locker room?" he asks. "Was anyone acting strangely? Were they too quiet or too boisterous? Were they acting completely out of character? Does _anything_ stand out to you from that morning that could help us?"

"God, I don't remember if anyone was in the training room that day. How am I supposed to remember who was in the locker room?" She sighs loudly. "I'm no help," she says but then her disposition shifts 180 degrees. "Can I see the footage again?" He gives her his phone back, and she watches the final clip again. "Alexa, Yasmine, Lauren, Courtney, and Vicki." She closes her eyes and starts pointing in the air. "I can picture them now." She opens her eyes and focuses on Tobias. "Alexa was to my right a couple bags down working out. Yasmine and Courtney were side-by-side behind me and slightly to the left. I don't remember Lauren at the punching bags. Um, Vicki was throwing knives at the middle target. There were a couple guys on either side of her but I didn't get a good look at them." That's understandable. The targets are quite a ways away from the punching bags. "I'm not saying that Lauren was definitely not there but I don't remember her taking target practice either."

"How do you know it was men with Vicki?" Tobias asks.

"Hairstyles, builds," she says. "They had to be men or the most masculine-looking women I've ever seen."

"Do you know those other women well?" I ask. I'm certain that it was Lauren who tried to set her up after learning from Ruth that she babysat not only for Molly but Peter and Drew but we need to dot all our I's and cross all our T's.

"I wouldn't call any of them _close_ friends," she says. "I spar with Yasmine and Courtney on a pretty regular basis but it's mainly because we workout at the same time. I've taken saunas with them, Alexa, and Vicki from time to time but we've never socialized outside the training room."

"What about Lauren?"

"You asked about strange earlier. Her presence is the only thing that I recall being out of ordinary that morning. I can't remember a time before this that she was in the training room at the same time I was," she says. "Did that bitch try to set me up to take the fall? I'll fucking kill her!"

"We don't know anything yet, Kirsten, but you really shouldn't make threats in front of two Dauntless leaders whether we're your friends or not," Tobias gruffly says. "It's not very smart."

"I know," she says, pouting. "But you have no idea what it's like to have everyone look at you like you're a traitor. I _can't_ live through something like that ever again. I won't." An odd look comes over her face, and she narrows her eyes at us. "When did you find this footage?"

"Why?" Tobias asks.

"James has been acting strangely with me the past couple days, and I've caught Zeke glaring and Will staring. They think I did it, don't they? They think I killed Harrison, Frankie, and that initiate."

"It's an ongoing investigation," he says. "We can't comment." I slide my eyes to his and give him a " _really_ " look and he sighs. "We had to investigate what we saw on the security footage. The three of them wanted you taken into custody immediately and interrogated for answers but Tris disagreed so we held off." She looks from Tobias to me.

"Some evidence we found earlier today pointed away from you as a suspect so we felt that we needed to speak to you as soon as we could," I say. "You may not realize but you've helped us a lot, Kirsten. We really appreciate it but it's _imperative_ that you don't mention our conversation to _anyone_. Not Trevor. Not Ella. Not Ciara. We're getting closer to knowing what happened but there are still a lot of unanswered questions. Can you do that?"

"It won't be easy when I see James, Zeke, or Will but I won't say anything," she says. "Thank you for believing in my innocence, Tris. I appreciate it."

"When this mess is all over you are more than welcome to give them each a piece of your mind," I say.

"How about a boot in the ass?" she asks in typical Dauntless fashion.

"Or that," I say with a chuckle.

"We probably shouldn't leave here empty handed just to be on the safe side," Tobias says. "Do you have learning computers for kids?"

"Tyler doesn't need a computer," I say.

"I know but he always wants to play on our computer when I'm in the office working. It would be nice to have something that would keep him occupied," he says to me then he looks at Kirsten. "I'm looking for something more toy-like but is educational."

"I have something that would be perfect," Kirsten says. We all get up and go out into the video game section of the store. Peanut whines a bit when I pull her out of the sling and put her to my shoulder. Right after she lets out the biggest burp, she falls asleep. Tobias and I look at each other.

"She's been taking lessons from Tessa, hasn't she?" he asks.

"I guess so." Kirsten shows us a small computer-like toy that takes game cartridges that costs a fraction of the price of a real computer.

"What do you think?" he asks.

"I don't want to spoil him but since it's educational I think it's alright," I say.

"I'll make you a deal," he says looking at the clock on his phone. "How about we save it for a Christmas present?"

"I like that idea," I say. I want my kids to experience everything I didn't growing up in Abnegation but I don't want to give them too much. I want them to appreciate what they have. I don't want them to expect everything to be handed to them, and I certainly don't want them spoiled. I kiss Teagan's head as I think about her brother and sister and any possible siblings her father and I decide to give her. "A lot."

"We'll take this," he says. "Does this cartridge go with it?" He points to a faded picture of Lightning McQueen and Mater.

"Yes, the _Cars_ game is one of 50 different titles," she says. _50_? "There are plenty of different titles for boys and girls." We spend the next half an hour picking out _Toy_ Story, _Avengers_ , and _Finding Nemo_ cartridges also that will help him with counting, colors, animals, his ABCs and much more. We contemplated _Monsters Inc._ but that movie scared Tyler so much he wouldn't go into his room if the closet door was open for nearly a month. No need to traumatize him further with something that is supposed to be fun.

"We'll take these," he says. "Thank you for _all_ your help tonight, Kirsten."

"You're welcome, Four," she says. She rings up our purchases and puts them in a bag identical to the one the evidence is in. I'm wondering what we're going to do with it as he leads me out of the store after we say our goodbyes to Kirsten.

"Why don't you go home, and I'll drop this off in the infirmary with Zander?"

"I'd rather go with you," I say. "Just to be on the safe side."

"Of course," he says, shaking his head in disgust. "You shouldn't be walking home by yourself with Molly still on the loose." I smile coyly up at him, and he blinks blankly back at me.

"I was just thinking the same thing about you," I say. I reach up and smooth down his ruffled hair. I swear if he doesn't stop roughly running his hands through his hair every time he gets stressed, he's going to give himself a bald spot. "We're better off together." I put Peanut back in the sling and pick the diaper bag up. We're quiet on our short trip down to the infirmary. The waiting room is deserted so Tobias gets his phone out and sends a message. Within a minute, Zander comes through the closed doors that lead to the examination rooms.

"Hi guys," he says.

"Can we speak in private?" Tobias asks.

"Of course," he says. He turns around and leads us through the elaborate labyrinth that is the infirmary to his office. I momentarily wonder how offices in the same compound can be so different then he shuts the door behind us, pulling me from my reverie. "What can I do for you?"

"This is an outfit worn by the person who broke into my office," Tobias says, setting the bag on his desk then we all sit down. "I want to see if any DNA can be pulled off of it. I doubt if it will match anyone in the system but when we get a solid suspect we can check their DNA against it."

"Speaking of DNA, I just got some test results back, and the same person killed Harrison and Sam," Zander says. We already suspected but it's nice to have evidence saying that. "Frankie's results aren't back yet but I put a rush on them."

"What's the holdup?" I ask, confused. "Your results are usually back quicker than this."

"The amount of genetic martial left behind by the perpetrator was minuscule," he says. "I had to send it to Erudite for further testing. I didn't have another choice. Once the confirmation was made that two victims, including one of our faction leaders were killed by the same person they promised to do all our tests rush from now on. I was a little leery trusting them because of the sensitive nature of this case and our factions' past differences but your brother is my contact, Tris, and he put my fears at ease immediately. He ensured me that the results can be trusted." He hands a sheet of paper to Tobias, and I watch as he reads through the information, his features contorting with confusion the longer he looks at it.

"What is it?" I ask.

"Our killer is male," he says, his brows furrowed.

"Male?" I ask unable to hide my surprise. What about Molly? What about Lauren? We have _proof_ that they are working together, and they were seen on video the morning Sam died have a heated exchange.

"I take it you have a suspect and this information doesn't jive," Zander says.

"I have to be honest. This is _not_ what I was expecting at all," Tobias says, holding up the report. "I really thought Molly was our killer."

"So did I," I say. "Can I see that?" Tobias hands me the report, and I study it carefully. I don't understand any of the technical medical speak I'm staring at but I do understand what the capital M beside the word gender means. This DNA profile is definitely male. "How do we know this DNA is the killers?"

"What do you mean?" Tobias asks.

"Forgive me. I'm really tired, it's been a long, stressful day but I'm not understanding this." I wave the paper around. "Where was the DNA found? How do you know it's the killer's and not innocent transfer?"

"It was found in the red, inflamed tissue on the neck of each victim," Zander says.

"Near the injection site?" Tobias asks.

"Yeah," Zander says, looking his way.

"Do we all agree that each person died from an injection of some advanced death serum?" I ask and they both nod. "And you said the DNA sample was miniscule?"

"Yeah," Zander says. "What are you getting at?"

"What if the trace was from the syringe and not the person handling it? Is that possible?" I ask.

"Are you doubting that I know how to do my job?" he asks, starting to get irritated.

"God! No! I'm not doubting you at all, Zander," I say. "I'm just exploring every possibility."

"Honestly, Tris, what you're doing is trying to make the evidence fit your theory, and that's not how evidence is supposed to work."

"I'm just asking questions," I say with a sigh.

"Is what she's asking a possibility? Could the DNA be from the syringe?"

"For all intents and purposes … yes, it's possible," he says.

"So the DNA could be from whoever _filled_ the syringes and not necessarily the one who used them," Tobias surmises.

"Let me show you something," Zander says getting to his feet. "Can you help me out, Four?" Tobias nods and gets up. The doctor comes up behind him and loosely wraps one arm around his neck. "It's my medical opinion that the transfer was left when the killer wrapped his arm around the victim's neck like this so that he could inject the serum." He lets Tobias go then pats him on the shoulder. " _But_ it's entirely possible that Tris' theory is correct also. I can't discount it."

I hold up the report, look at Tobias, and say, "Is any of this enough to arrest Molly and Lauren?"

"Lauren?" Zander says. Oh, shit! He didn't know that part. My eyes slide to Tobias, and he gives me a disparaging look.

"Tris," he says, his voice making me feel like a 2-year-old being scolded by its father. "That information is confidential, Zander. It doesn't leave this office. Okay?"

"Okay. I won't say a word," he says. "Whose DNA do you think I will find on that evidence?"

"Lauren's," Tobias says. He looks my way with a hard glance, making me feel even worse.

"I'm sorry," I mutter.

"It's alright," he says with a sigh. I study his face and am not sure he's being completely honest right now. Peanut starts fussing so I take her out of the sling and realize she's in desperate need of a diaper change.

"I've got to change her diaper," I say as I stand up.

"Four, can you stick around?" Zander asks. "I have a couple other things to go over with you."

"I'll catch up with you later," Tobias says to me. I excuse myself and go out into the hallway. I quickly walk to the nearest restroom, which is just this side of the waiting room.

"You stink, Peanut," I say as I change her dirty diaper. She yawns and her eyelids flutter. "Am I boring you?" She gives me a small smile then closes her eyes. More and more of her personality is shining through. She acts a lot like Tyler and Tessa in some ways but in others, she is the polar opposite. "You know what, baby girl, that little smile you just gave your mommy is the highlight of her night." I put her back in the sling so she can sleep, and just as I'm getting ready to go out into the waiting room, I'm tired from walking all over this compound, Isobel walks in.

"Oh, hi!" she says.

"Hi," I say as I watch her sunny disposition disappear.

"Are you okay?" I must look as bad as I'm feeling at the moment. _Should I talk to her?_

"I know this is a bad time but can I talk to you?"

"Sure. There's an empty exam room across the hall," she says. "I'll be over in a minute or two."

"Okay, thanks." I trudge across the hall and sit down on the uncomfortable folding metal chair in the corner. I check on Peanut who's sleeping peacefully then stare at the blank wall across from me.

"What can I help you with," Isobel asks as she comes into the room. She stops in her tracks when she sees me. She pivots on her feet, goes to the door, and shuts it behind her then sits on the doctor's stool and wheels up in front of me. "Talk to me, Tris. What's wrong?" The look on her face makes me realize that there are tears trickling down my cheeks. I brusquely wipe them away. I'm not supposed to be crying right now. I'm supposed to stronger than this.

"I'm … _miserable_ right now, Isobel, and I don't know what to do about it," I say. "This is going to sound so stupid."

"Hey, it doesn't matter what you're about to say," she says. "Your feelings are your feelings, and they're not stupid. _Never!_ Just talk to me."

"I don't know how to deal with how I'm feeling right now. I've never experienced this level of stress until I came to Dauntless. Since moving here it's been one thing after another. Sometimes I feel like the bad stuff is never going to end and that it's overshadowing the good stuff." I absolutely hate that I just admitted that out loud to anyone other than Tobias.

"How have you dealt with the stress and anxiety until now?" she asks.

"Mainly with … sex," I say, burying my quickly reddening face in my trembling palms. When she doesn't say anything, I peek out at her. I guess I'm expecting a judgmental look on her face because I basically just admitted to her that my husband and I use sex to deal with our problems but her look is only thoughtful and … empathetic. "We've been struggling since Teagan was born. We knew it was going to be difficult but we had no idea it would be this bad. It doesn't help that Dauntless is in turmoil again.

"When things get … _tense_ for us, Four and I have the tendency to … gravitate toward one another." God, it sounds like a question. "I don't exactly know how to explain it because I don't fully understand it myself. In the past, if we experienced a particularly stressful day, we'd make love and then we would both feel better physically and emotionally. It would clear our heads, make our thinking clearer. Then we were able to handle whatever life was throwing at us in that moment.

"Because of all this stress and the unresolved issues in Dauntless, the pull we feel keeps growing stronger and stronger but we haven't found an outlet, so I feel like I'm about ready to explode and he's not much better. We're anxious and cranky around each other. I cry at a drop of a hat. He's careful not to touch me too long or in a way that will make us want what we're already wanting that much more. Just this afternoon, I asked him to lie down with me so I could fall asleep quicker. When he told me no, I thought my world was coming to an end. I don't exactly know why but later he crawled into bed with me anyway, and I could tell that I hurt him and I _hate_ hurting him. We joked about separate apartments or bedrooms until the six weeks is over on our trip to the Pit but this … _void_ is killing us both."

"I knew that you two were going to have a rough time of it," she says. "How long has it been since Teagan was born?" I look at my phone.

"It's been 4 weeks, 4 days, 14 hours, and 22 minutes. I can tell you the seconds if you give me a minute to figure it out." She looks at me like I've quite possibly gone mad. Maybe I have. Maybe I'm not having this delicate conversation with my nurse friend in an empty, sterile room in the infirmary. Maybe I'm already locked away in the insane asylum talking to the blank wall I was staring at moments ago because of pent up frustration. "What?"

"There are other things that you two can do to please each other sexually without having intercourse," she says. I get the feeling she wants to say something else but decided to go the clinical route.

"I know," I say. "We've messed around a little. I sort of attacked him in the shower." Her brows raise but she says nothing and just listens to me drone on. "He said there wouldn't be any more of that until we can make love _together_. He's frustrating on so many levels. I guess what I'm getting at is … can I have sex or do I really need to wait another week and a half. Oh, and Isobel, talk to me as my friend and not the clinic nurse. It's okay."

"It's easier to talk to you about this as the clinic nurse," she says. "Should you wait until you are six weeks postpartum to have sexual intercourse? Yes. Mainly so your body will be fully healed. It's went through countless changes bringing your beautiful daughter into this world. It needs time to rest.

"But speaking as your friend I'll tell you this. Everyone heals at different rates. There's no one timeframe that works for everyone. If you are feeling good, by all means, make love to your husband. If anything doesn't feel right or hurts, stop. It's that simple. Carter and I started having sex again four weeks after the twins were born. On the flip side, I have a good friend in Erudite who had a really rough delivery. She and her husband waited eight weeks because she listened to her body and knew that any sooner wouldn't be good. I've known numerous woman who didn't wait the four weeks, which I strongly advise against by the way but I'm not the sex police. You're an adult woman, Tris. You know your body better than anyone. You know what feels good and what doesn't. You don't need my permission." My face goes crimson.

"Actually I do," I say. "He won't touch me until I've been cleared by you."

"Consider yourself cleared then," she says with a smile. "Don't forget birth control and have a good time."

"Birth control," I mumble under my breath.

"You're breastfeeding," she says. "It's a good form of birth control but if you want extra protection, use condoms. We'll talk about more options at your appointment, which I have to move to next Friday morning at 10:00 a.m. I almost forgot to notify you. I had to take a personal day. We're finding out if this little bundle is a boy or a girl on the Monday your appointment was originally scheduled so I had to rearrange my schedule."

"Are you hoping for a girl?" I ask.

"With two rambunctious little boys at home I'd be lying if I said I don't want a little girl to dote on," she says. "But I'll be happy either way but I'm sure you know the feeling."

"I sure do," I say as I caress Peanut's head. "Thank you for letting me unload on you, and I'm not just saying that because you told me what I wanted to hear. You are a great friend. I often wonder how I got so lucky not only to have my wonderful husband and adorable kids but such loyal friends like you."

"I'm the lucky one. I never imagined that I would meet someone I honestly consider a sister in a different faction," she says. "Besides the increased stress, how are you doing?" I take a deep breath and contemplate her question.

"I feel good physically," I say. "Emotionally, it's a little more complicated. The stress is eating away at me. I'm still experiencing hormonal whiplash, which is hard on Four as well. He never knows which Tris he's going to get, level-headed, go with the flow me or raving lunatic, wants to tear his heart out me. Please tell me that it's normal behavior and that it will go away soon."

"It's perfectly normal," she says. "It's just another joy of being a woman." We laugh together softly. "How are Tyler and Tessa adjusting to life with the new baby?" I tell her about Tyler's troubles with Bobby but leave out everything that transpired tonight.

"I think we have it under control now," I say. "He loves Teagan and adjusted to her presence rather quickly. Tessa on the other hand has taken a lot longer. She acts _jealous_ of her baby sister. Four and I have to keep reminding ourselves that she's just a little baby herself who needs us just as much as Teagan does. Sometimes she loves her and other times she acts like she would rather have her go someplace else. When we first brought Teagan home, Tessa would cry uncontrollably every time I fed her if you can imagine that. I hold them at the same time most nights so they can bond, too."

"You're a wonderful mother," Tobias says from the now open doorway. Funny, I didn't hear it make a sound. "I've been looking everywhere for you."

"I wanted to ask Isobel a few things," I say as butterflies start swarming in my tummy and color creeps into my cheeks. "She was just asking how Tyler and Tessa are doing since our little Peanut here joined the family." He smiles warmly as he thinks about his children.

"They have a profound bond already," he says. "It took a little longer in the girls but it's obvious they love each other even as young as they are. We better get home, Tris." A second wind blows through me and suddenly I can't wait to get home. I'm going to make love to my handsome husband tonight, and he doesn't have a clue.

"You're right," I say. "Thanks for the talk, Isobel. I really needed it."

"You know I'm always here whenever you need to talk," she says. "About anything." Her phone buzzes and she pulls it out of her pocket. "I've got to go. Don't forget about the change in your appointment. I'll see you guys later. Have a good night."

"We will," I say. She gives me a knowing smile that should embarrass me but it only adds to the excitement I'm feeling. I watch as she walks out of the room then get up out of the chair. I check on Peanut after she starts fussing and change her diaper then start nursing her. It's been a long, hectic day and her feeding schedule is slightly off. "Can you take the diaper bag for me? I've never walked and nursed before. I want to make sure she's okay."

"Why don't you sit back down and feed her here," he says. "I'll tell the intake nurse we're using this room.

"No, I want to go home," I say a little too enthusiastically. "It's been a long day. I'd rather get home than stay here in the infirmary." Crap! I already said that. _Way to go Tris! Make him suspect something is up._

"Okay," he says. He picks up the diaper bag and slings it over his shoulder and picks up the bag holding Tyler's Christmas present. "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be."


	81. Chapter 81

Tobias and I take our time walking home along the long, winding path. I now realize that I could maneuver it blindfolded without making a single misstep. And to think, I fell from it last year. I'm embarrassed to even think about it now. Peanut contentedly nurses while we quietly talk about everything we learned today from Tori's possible involvement in her own disappearance to the fact that we now have DNA evidence that ties one person to two of the deaths. Zander asked Tobias to stay behind to go over Jennifer Chaucer's forensic examination results, and they were worse than expected. I believe that her husband can only be classified as a psychopathic sadist. I feel a renewed sense of pride that we were able to help her get her family and herself away from him before it was too late. We stop at Tobias' office to file the forensic report as well as the DNA test results from Sam and Harrison's autopsies then head up to our apartment. Avery and Callen are cuddled up against each other on the couch sound asleep when we get home. Either Tyler wore them both out or the long hours at their new jobs have them exhausted because it takes a little bit to rouse them.

"Avery," I say as I shake her shoulder after putting Peanut in her bassinet. "Avery, wake up. We're home." She moans then opens her eyes. She frowns as she looks around, disoriented.

"Tris?" she asks. "What? Oh! I'm sorry. I must have fallen asleep." She sits up straight, stretches her arms above her head, and yawns. She looks down at Callen and smiles sweetly. "He's so cute. I've never seen him asleep before." She blushes as she reveals this little tidbit of information. She touches his arm and leans in. "Callen, wake up." I hear Tessa start whining through the monitor, and Tobias excuses himself to go get her before I can ask. Callen finally opens his eyes and looks up at Avery with furrowed brows then they relax, and he smiles brightly.

"Hey," he says, yawning into his hands.

"Hi! Oh, Tris, I almost forgot. We found something on the computer after Tyler went to bed," Avery says. She starts to drag the laptop that's sitting on the coffee table toward her and I shake my head.

"Anything you found can wait until morning," I say. Nothing is getting in the way of seducing my husband tonight … _nothing_. "Four and I are exhausted. You two obviously are worn out. Go home. Have a good night's rest, and we'll talk about whatever it is in the morning. Okay?"

"Okay," they say at the same time then Avery continues. "Tyler fell asleep at around 8:15 while we were watching _Cars_. I swear if I ever have children, that movie will _not_ be a part of my collection." At the mention of children, Callen pales. He's obviously not ready for a family. "Callen carried him to bed while I was giving Tessa a bottle. I put her to bed at a little before 9:00. She's changed so much. She babbles all the time and pulls herself around the apartment. She nearly broke my heart though when she drug herself over by the door and kept saying Mama over and over."

"Can you say Dada yet, little one?" Tobias asks as he walks into the living room with Tessa, who has her fist shoved in her mouth.

"Ma ma ma ma ma ma," she excitedly says when she sees me, kicking her legs and squealing.

"I guess not," he says with a chuckle. "I think someone wants her mommy." He hands me my little one, and I hold her up and give her several kisses that leave her giggling.

"Did you miss me?" I say. "I sure missed you."

"We've got to go," Avery says. I hold my breath hoping she doesn't mention anything about the information they found. "We'll see you tomorrow."

"Thanks again for watching them for us," I say. "We really appreciate it."

"You're welcome," Callen says at the same time Avery says, "It was my pleasure." He takes her hand and leads her out into the hallway and toward the stairs. Tobias locks the door behind them and picks up a couple toys Tyler left on the floor behind the couch. I sit down in the club chair to nurse Tessa, and Tobias collapses onto the love seat. I wasn't lying to Avery when I told her he was exhausted. I only hope he stays awake long enough for me to enact my plan.

"Did you check on Tyler while you were upstairs?" I ask.

"Yeah. He's lying in a little ball in the middle of his big boy bed. He looks tiny in that thing," he says with a loving smile on his face. "I think I'll take Peanut upstairs and put her to bed. Can I get you anything before I go?"

"No, I'm alright but thanks for asking," I say.

"It's my pleasure, love," he says. "I'll see you when you come to bed." _Oh, you sure will!_ I glide my eyes over his body as he picks Peanut up. He looks my way and does a double take. "You look like that cat who just ate the canary. Spill."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I tease. He furrows his brows at me.

"You're up to something," he states.

"No. Just admiring the view." He smirks, shakes his head, and disappears around the corner. I look down at Tessa as she eagerly nurses, content in my arms, and am surprised she's wide awake for it being just before midnight. I lightly tickle all over her face like she loves as she gets her belly full, and soon her eyelids are drooping. After she finishes, I turn off the solitary light and carry her upstairs. I expect Tobias to be in bed but he's not. I change Tessa's diaper without waking her and put her in her crib then check on Peanut. I carefully lift her from the bassinet, put her in a clean diaper, and lay her in her crib. I make sure the monitor is turned on and fully functioning then gently close their door behind me.

I head into the bathroom fully expecting him to be taking a shower but he's not. _Where are you?_ I slip out of my clothes, letting them stay where they land. I take a quick shower making sure not to get my hair wet then pat myself dry and apply my coconut oil lotion. I look in the full-length mirror by my closet as I contemplate what to wear … if anything. My body has changed since Teagan. My breasts are fuller, my hips are slightly wider, my midsection is softer, and of course there's the ugly scar. _Will he like me like this? Will he_ want _me like this?_

"I know what will help him say yes," I say out loud to myself. I go into his closet and find his crisp white tuxedo shirt then slip unnoticed into my closet. I look through my shoes, trying to find just the right pair. When my eyes land on the round-toed red suede 3-inch platform stilettos I bought the last time I went shopping with Christina, I know what I'm going to wear for his seduction. I put on the sheer red lingerie I wore for him on Valentine's Day then slide his tuxedo shirt on. I roll the sleeves a couple times so that my fingers are free then button the majority of the buttons, changing the dress shirt into a nightshirt. I slip back into the bathroom and heat up my curling iron and quickly put some wavy curls in my hair. I stain my lips a light red and line my eyes with gray. I stand back and look at myself. Hopefully, he finds me irresistible.

I take a deep breath to calm the fluttering butterflies that just appeared in my tummy then turn off the light and walk into the bedroom but Tobias is still nowhere to be found. I sigh. But instead of being discouraged I take advantage of the solitude and go to my closet and get the black cherry and vanilla scented candles and bagged red rose petals I stashed away for this very occasion. I take the quilt and top sheet off the bed, fold them, and put them in the empty bottom drawer of the chest. I arrange the black and white candles on the furniture throughout the room, lighting each one as I go then I scatter the supple, fragrant petals across the bed and on the floor around it. After putting everything away, I stand in the doorway, ready to search out my husband and look at our bedroom. It's perfect. Tonight will be perfect … I just know.

I go out into the hallway and hear a faint clicking sound. Wondering what it is, I follow the noise to our home office and find him sitting at the computer in nothing but a pair of long satin sleep pants … _working_. I guess I can't blame him. He doesn't know what I have planned for us. I soundlessly slip up behind his chair and wrap my arms around him and press my lips to the sensitive spot just below his right ear. A moan rumbles from his chest as I kiss my way up his ear. He stops typing as I stick my tongue in the canal before raking my teeth down the lobe. He quickly turns around, startling me, and pulls me down until I'm straddling his lap. His mouth lands hard on mine in a ferocious kiss, our need for each other prominent. He fists his fingers in my curls as I hold tightly to him, our lips fluidly moving together like this might be the last time we taste each other. He groans and rips his mouth from mine, panting loudly.

"We need to stop," he breathlessly says as he closes his eyes and rests his forehead against mine. "We shouldn't be doing this."

"Yes, we should," I say all breathy and needy. "Why do you think I was talking to Isobel earlier?" He pulls his head back, opens his eyes, and stares intently at me. "She told me to listen to my body," I glide the backs of my fingers up his stubbled jawline, "and right now it wants you … _badly_. We can make love, Tobias."

"What _exactly_ did she say, Tris?" He moves his hands from my hair to rest on my hips. I look into his indecisive eyes and see a man battling himself. He wants me just as badly as I want him but he doesn't want to hurt me either.

"Her exact words?" He nods. "It was something like, 'Everyone heals at a different rate. There's no one timeframe that works the same for everyone. If you're feeling good, make love to your husband. If anything doesn't feel right or hurts, then stop. It's that simple.'"

"She really said that?" I hear hope seeping into his voice as he asks the question.

"Yes. I wouldn't lie to you about something this important," I say. "I know you're worried about me. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little nervous but I _need_ you, Tobias Eaton. We haven't been right these past few weeks, and we both know why. I'm not going to belittle what we have by saying that our relationship is all about sex because it's not. What we have is so much more. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't feel … _complete_ without being able to make love to you. I know you feel the same way. We have this … _pull_ that draws us together, especially in stressful times, and it's strong right now. It's like an invisible chain that keeps us tethered together. We need each other just like we need air to breathe, water to drink, food to eat, and sleep to restore us. We keep each other sane. _Please_ , baby. Let me make love to you." His eyes never leave mine as I make my speech. He slips his hands back up into my hair and caresses my cheeks with his thumbs.

"I want you. There's no hiding just how much," he says. He's right. I feel him beneath me … hot, throbbing, hard. "But if we're going to do this, you have to promise to tell me if something doesn't feel right or if I hurt you. I know we're very much in tune with one other but I can't read your mind. You have to tell me how you're feeling."

"I feel good," I say as I move myself against his erection, making him close his eyes and groan. "But I want to feel better." He moves his mouth to mine at the same time that he wraps his arms around my waist and stands up. I grip my arms and legs tightly to his body, and he kisses me the entire way to our bedroom. He sets me on my feet after kicking the door shut then he flips the lock. That simple sound heightens my arousal twofold. When he turns back to me he freezes, and I think that he's changed his mind, and I automatically start to pout. He can't get me this worked up and not deliver. I would need a cold shower that lasted until dawn … three days from now.

"When did you do all this?" he asks, fire dancing in his eyes as he takes in the lit candles and rose petals decorating our bedroom.

"I wanted tonight to be perfect," I throatily say. He turns his attention to me when I speak. His stare turns predatory and his breathing becomes labored and irregular.

"What are you wearing?" he roughly asks as he looks me up and down, an animalistic quality to his gaze. I look down, forgetting that I dressed up for him.

"Do you like?" I ask, my voice full of desire.

"God, where did you get those shoes, love?" he growls as he stalks toward me like a predator about to devour his prey. I take an involuntary step back, knowing that this night won't last long once we get our hands on each other. We've had nearly five weeks of foreplay.

"I bought them especially for you," I say, my voice foreign in my ears. I'm surprised I haven't attacked him yet. I kick my foot out so he can get a better look. "I knew you would like them."

"Did you think this," he waves his hand all around, "would help you get your way?"

"I didn't think it would hurt," I say.

"Come here, love," he hoarsely says, summoning me with a finger. I take two steps on trembling legs, bridging the distance between us, and he cups my cheek and gently glides his thumb over my parted, moist lips. "Do you have any idea how good you look right now? You are so damn beautiful." I feel his other hand snake around me and rest on the small of my back. When he leans over and kisses my left ear, I close my eyes as a shiver runs through my body. I feel his thumb glide from my lips to my chin, down my neck onto my chest and stops at the first button of his shirt. "I see you have something on under this." He moves the first button from its home, and my breath hitches in my throat. He's barely touching me, and he has me trembling before him. "Shall we see what it is?" I tilt my head back as he continues kissing my neck and ear as he slowly unbuttons each of the buttons, grazing his fingertips along my heated flesh as he does. When he finishes, he takes a couple steps back and gazes at me with a ravenous look in his nearly onyx eyes.

"Would you like me to take it off or would you like to do the honors?" I ask, my voice trembling with desire along with my body.

"I want to be the one who takes your clothes off," he says, "but we're leaving the shoes on. They're making me so hard right now," he says and I gasp. A sly smile stretches across his face. "I want to look at you for just a moment more." I watch him as he stares at me. His eyes dilate until there's no blue left. His breathing changes becoming more labored and choppy. His fingers ball up into fists after repeatedly twitching my way. I can tell he's just itching to get them on me and I can't wait myself. He finally stalks back to me and puts his hands inside the shirt and slowly pushes it off my shoulders until it falls into a pile at my feet, revealing the sheer red lingerie. He blows out a rough breath and groans. "God, you are unbelievably beautiful." He slides his eyes up my body to mine, a reverential look on his face. "I love you, Tris."

"I love you, Tobias," I say. He sweeps me up in his arms, taking me by surprise, and his mouth lands on mine in an aggressive, need-filled kiss. I wrap my arms around his neck as he carries me across the room to our bed.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asks, indecision in his eyes once again.

"I'm more than sure," I say as I lovingly caress his face. "I need this. _We_ need this."

"You're right. I just don't want to hurt you." He sits his knee on the edge of the mattress and lays me down in the middle of the soft rose petals. I pull him down on top of me, relishing the weight of his body on mine, and his mouth captures mine with a hungry urgency. We expertly move our lips together in a ravenous kiss for what seems like hours then he slides his tongue through my parted lips and caresses mine possessively as our hands explore each other's bodies like it's the first time.

I suck in much-needed air as he kisses his way from my mouth to my jaw then up to my ear. He takes his time teasing the sensitive flesh while I squirm beneath him. I fist my fingers in his hair and moan as he kisses down my neck to my collarbone. He darts his tongue out of his mouth and traces then kisses each of my raven, lingering like he always does on the largest. He continues further down until he stops at my heaving breasts. He sucks first on one achingly sensitive bud and then the other through the sheer material until they are both straining painfully to be free. He pulls each cup down one at a time, revealing the swollen mounds.

"So beautiful," he breathes as he massages the aching flesh. He flicks his tongue out of his hot, moist mouth and laps the throbbing peak. As my breathing becomes harsh and uneven, I grasp the sheets and arch my back, pushing my breasts further into his hungry mouth. He sucks the bud between his lips then circles the tip with his tongue.

"Oh, God," I moan as I toss my head to and fro. He releases the bud and kisses his way to the neglected flesh of my other breast and kisses every inch before capturing the painfully aching bud into his mouth. He sucks, nibbles, and licks it until I'm about ready to explode. He slides a hand beneath me while he continues with his ministrations and expertly unhooks my sexy bra. He drags it off my body and tosses it aside while he continues to tease with his tongue, teeth, and lips. I'm writhing beneath him as he continues kissing his way down my body. He peppers my belly and navel with soft kisses then does something I never thought he would do, he stops at my cesarean scar. I lift my head and watch him worship it until he notices my gaze.

"Something wrong?"

"Don't you find that scar ugly?" I ask, embarrassed by its presence. I still wish I could have had a natural delivery. He runs his fingers over the red mark.

"Not at all," he says. He leans down and kisses it softly. "This scar saved the lives of my wife and daughter. Without it, I might not have Peanut and I might not have you. I thank God for this scar every single day." I reach down and caress his cheek, and he captures my hand in his and lovingly kisses the palm. He has a unique way of looking at things. He sees something that I view as an eyesore as a blessing. I need to try harder to see the good in things … to see things the way he does. I lie back and close my eyes as he continues kissing further down my body. As much as we want each other, he is prolonging the experience and building the anticipation to a fevered level. He passes my lingerie-covered womanhood and kisses down one leg until he's kissing the delicate strap that circles my ankle. "I love these shoes. You have no idea what they're doing to me right now." _Oh, baby, I_ do _have an idea._ He licks and kisses the exposed skin of the foot until it's thoroughly worshipped then moves to my other leg starting with the ankle, working his way back up until he's kneeling between my outstretched legs with his hands on my see-through boy shorts. "I love you in sexy stilettos."

"I know," I breathlessly say as he slides my panties down my legs and off my body.

"Would you like me to show you how much?" he asks. I eagerly nod. He lies at the end of our bed between my outstretched legs. He kisses the inside of one thigh, my pelvic bone, and then the inside of my other thigh. I'm shuddering with anticipation when he says, "I've missed this … very much." His hot breath washing over my most intimate place makes me shiver, and I gasp as he starts kissing me everywhere.

"Oh, Tobias," I moan when he finally darts his tongue out of his mouth and lightly laps at the throbbing bundle of nerves. I find the hand that's splayed across my belly and grasp it tightly, lacing our fingers together. He delicately licks up one side of my nubbin, barely touching it, and then up the other side before unleashing the full effects of his talented tongue right down the center causing a jolt of pleasure to rapidly move through me from my center outward in all directions. My hips sway with the rhythm of his lapping tongue as he continues his assault then he capture the nubbin between his lips and sucks hard. "Oh, God! Tobias!" I'm close when he alters his attack again, taking my nubbin between his teeth and gently circling his tongue all around it, building my orgasm that much higher. "Please. Please, Tobias. Oh, God! _Please_!" I can hear myself begging but I'm not sure if it's for him to continue or to let me come.

Time seems to stand still for a moment as my orgasm overtakes me … _overwhelms_ me. It's almost like I'm looking down at us: His head between my legs, his arms wrapped tightly around my thighs holding my body in place as he moves me through the pleasure he's causing and me with my back arched off the mattress, my face contorted in the painful yet pleasurable throws of my release, my mouth hanging open, my eyes shut tight, my fingers twisting the sheets, my toes curled almost painfully. I can almost hear his name hanging in the air. It really is a sight to behold. I gasp for air as my heart starts pounding in my chest, and Tobias starts kissing his way back up my body. He settles himself between my thighs and lies down on top of me so that we're eye to eye. He stares down at me as I try to catch my breath.

"You made me a promise, love. If anything hurts … and I mean _anything_ , you must tell me and we'll stop. And please don't think that I don't want you because that is the furthest thing from the truth. I just don't want to hurt you. I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

"Baby, you have to stop worrying about me so much," I say, running my hands up and down his back, tracing his tattoo from memory. "Don't get me wrong, I love that you do but the added stress isn't good for you." He gives me a look like he's expecting an answer. "If anything is wrong, I promise I will tell you." I push on his chest and he rolls us so I'm lying on top of him. "Now I think it's time for me to have a little extra fun."

"You don't have to," he says.

"I know I don't," I say, moving my hands into his hair. I kiss his cheek then drag the tip of my tongue to his ear. "But I want to. I love how you feel in my mouth." He groans at my admission and draws my mouth back to his. The kiss is aggressive as he thrusts his tongue deeply into my mouth. We let them tangle as our swollen lips move together roughly. I move my mouth from his and drag my lips and tongue over his jaw, down his neck, to his collarbone. I pepper kisses over his chiseled chest until I reach his distended nipples. I kiss each one before taking one in my mouth and eagerly sucking on it.

"Shit, Tris!" he groans. "Love, not so hard." I guess I'm a little too excited. I circle the bud with the tip of my tongue as I give him an apologetic look. He lies his head back down, obviously enjoying my teasing. I capture the rigid peak with my lips and flick my tongue against it a few times before nibbling lightly, causing him to moan deeply. _God, I love that sound._ And I love that I'm the one causing it. I continue to suck, nibble, and lick each nipple for a time until he is writhing beneath me, and I can't hide my smile. "You're damn … proud of … yourself … aren't you?" he pants. I don't say anything. I just catch his eyes and give him a playful little wink. He shakes his head then collapses back down on the mattress while I continue my way down his body. I stop at the patch of Dauntless flames on his right ribcage. As I trace them with my tongue, I imagine that it must have been excruciating for him to get this tattoo. He doesn't have an ounce of fat on him. Before I let my body image problems derail our evening, I drag my lips down to his navel, dropping kisses along the way. I stick my tongue into his bellybutton and French kiss it until he grabs my head and groans loudly. I forgot how sensitive he is here.

I slide my hand down, and the satin of his sleep pants offers no resistance and my palm glides effortlessly back and forth over his hard thickness. His breathing comes in short, harsh gasps as I kiss my way from his navel to the line of dark hair on his taut abs. I continue inching further down the bed until I'm lying on my tummy between his outstretched legs. I feel him move and when I glance up at him, he's resting on his elbows, his eyes on mine. I move my hand and kiss him though the satin then put my hands on the waistband of his sleep pants. He lifts his hips as I pull them down, freeing his hard length. I struggle into a sitting position and drag the material down his legs then toss them to the floor. I take in the completely male Greek God-like creature before me: Broad shoulders; hard, hairless chest; tight, flat abdomen; narrow waist; lean hips; long, powerful legs; muscled thighs; and then there's his virile masculinity, laying proudly on his belly for my eyes only. My tongue darts out of my mouth and wets my suddenly parched lips. I want him badly. I lean over and kiss the faint scar on his left knee then continue up his thigh. I see him hold his breath as I place a soft kiss on his left hip bone then I start all over with his other leg.

After placing a kiss on his other hip, I kiss the tip of his hard length then run my tongue up and down it a couple times. I feel his body tense when I take him in my hand and raise my eyes to his. I very slowly lick up his shaft and a groan rattles around in his chest arousing me further. I circle the tip of my wet tongue around the head, concentrating on the sensitive underside then run my tongue up and down some more. I gently start stroking his length, alternating the force of my grip on every other pass. He hangs his head backwards and an expletive bursts from his lips when I take him in my mouth. I sheath my teeth behind my lips and suck him further into my mouth with each pass until he's hitting the back of my throat. I coordinate each movement of my mouth, tongue, and fist, making sure he likes my effort. He collapses back on the bed when I speed up the movement of my head and fist. He starts thrusting his hips up every time I move my head down and when he threads his fingers in my hair, I know he's close. I suck a little harder and grip his shaft a little tighter as I speed up the rhythm further. His whole body stiffens then he explodes in my mouth while calling out my name. I swallow quickly, catching every drop as he continues to shudder and convulse almost violently. I hear him gasping for air as I continue the up and down movements with my mouth and hand. When the mini spasms stop, I release him from my mouth. His hands are still on both sides of my head as I slowly crawl back up his body, dropping kisses as I go. When my lips land on his, he thrusts his tongue into my mouth and mates it with mine. He rolls us until I'm once again beneath him. He tears his lips away from mine, and we stare into each other's eyes as we allow our heart rates to return to normal.


	82. Chapter 82

"Are you sure about this?" he asks, giving me the opportunity to change my mind once again.

"I've never been more certain about anything in my life," I say. He lowers his lips to mine and gives me a tender kiss then pulls away like he just remembered something.

"Do I need to use a condom?" _Condom_? We've never used them before, and if I'm being completely honest, I really don't want to start now. I like the feel of his skin on mine.

"No … no condoms," I say. "Isobel said we're covered with the breastfeeding for now."

"Okay," he says. "Are you ready?" Considering I just gave him what I consider to be one hell of an orgasm a few minutes ago, I should be the one asking that question, except I can feel him against my leg, and he's more than ready to go.

"Yeah," I breathlessly say. "I'm more than ready. I'm about to explode."

"I know what you mean, love," he says then he lowers his mouth until it touches mine. I'm concentrating so hard on his lips moving with mine that I don't feel his hand making its way down my body and between my parted thighs until he starts the gentle circular motion on my throbbing nubbin with the calloused pad of his middle finger. I gasp into his open mouth then sigh. It feels so good and very familiar. My hips dance in time with the rhythm he sets and my tongue twirls with his as our kiss deepens.

"Tobias, oh God!" I moan when he very carefully inserts a single finger into my moist center and very slowly thrusts the digit back and forth while circling my nubbin with his thumb. Everything feels the way it did before Peanut. There have been no surprises so far this evening with the exception of not knowing I could want him this badly. "Please, baby. I _want_ you. God, I _need_ you. Please don't make me wait."

He moves his mouth to my ear and says, "Patience, love," then he sticks his tongue in it and twirls it all around, adding to the spectacular fireworks show that's going to go off in a matter of seconds. My hips sway back and forth on his fingers, and I'm not wrong. My whole body tenses, and I experience an explosion of sensation unlike anything I've ever felt before. My hips involuntarily keep time with the ministrations of his fingers until my senses return. When he moves his mouth back to mine, I feel him settle between my outstretched legs, knowing that I'm ready for him. He reaches between us and places himself at my entrance, and then reaches up and cups my face, caressing my cheeks with his thumbs. I rest my hands on his hips while we stare deeply into each other's eyes. "I love you."

"I love you," I say, repeating each word back to him with the respect it was just given to me. I reach up and run my fingertips lightly down his cheek then raise my lips to his. We kiss slowly, softly as we cling to each other. He gently thrusts his hips forward, applying a steady pressure and slips into my body about an inch, and I gasp into his open mouth. _Why does he always feel bigger after we've had to wait a while to make love?_ I moan as he pushes into me a little further, biting down on my bottom lip to keep from calling out. He stills, letting me get used to the stretching and the fullness. I cling to him as I try to figure out how I'm feeling. It's not exactly painful but it's not as comfortable as it was on the train nearly five weeks ago.

"Do we need to stop?" he roughly asks, sensing that my mind is someplace else.

"You just need to go slow," I say, unable to keep the discomfort out of my voice. He stares down at me with a contradiction of feelings in his eyes. "Do you trust me, Tobias?"

"Tell me what's wrong," he firmly says, panic in his voice. I wrap my arms around his neck, pull his mouth to mine, and kiss him deeply.

"Do … you … _trust_ … me?" I breathlessly repeat.

"Yes, of course I trust you," he says.

"It's just been a while, and I need to get used to you again," I say. "You feel so good inside me but … you're so big. I'm alright. I promise." He stares down at me, and I hold my breath wondering if we're going to continue or not. I recognize the moment he makes his decision and smile right before he lowers his mouth to mine and kisses me thoroughly. After a moment he reapplies the pressure and slides into me a couple more inches. "Aahh!" I call out. He stills once more, kissing me everywhere as one hand massages an aching breast and the other laces his fingers with mine. I widen my legs and move my knees closer to my chest in an effort to make room for him. He moves his mouth to the left side of my neck and I moan loudly. He takes this as an indication that I'm ready and pulls back a few inches then thrusts fully into me. "Oh, God!" I grip his hand tightly and bury my head in his shoulder.

"Are you alright?" he asks.

"Mm-hm. Just give me a minute." I concentrate on my breathing as I get used to the fullness and stretching so deep inside. When I relax and open my eyes, he's staring down at me, caressing my temple and cheek. I reach up and glide my fingers along his jaw and cup his neck then pull his mouth to mine. I kiss him tenderly, making love to his mouth with my tongue. When we break apart breathlessly I say, "I'm ready, Tobias. Make love to me." He gives me a reverential kiss then very slowly pulls almost all the way out of me before pushing back into me just as unhurriedly and I moan deeply. He sets a relaxed pace, not wanting to overwhelm me. We kiss and run our hands all over each other's body as we move in perfect synchronization, thoroughly enjoying this time with each other.

"You feel so good around me," he murmurs in my ear, causing me to clench. "Aahh! So tight." He increases our tempo further before moving his mouth to mine for a long, lingering kiss. "I've missed this so much, love." His body blankets mine, his breath warm and erratic on my neck. I raise my hips to meet each of his urgent thrusts as we race toward shared bliss. I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist and hold tightly to him as we writhe against each other.

After a few more minutes, I pull his mouth to mine for a scorching kiss as he hooks his arms under my knees, widening me for his final assault. We collide into each other at a frantic pace, seeking that final glorious moment. After another few minutes of pounding thrusts, I scream out in ecstasy as my release overtakes me. I call out again and again as wave after wave of pure pleasure washes over my body setting off his shattering release. His magnificent body shudders above mine then he stills and explodes deep inside my stretching walls. After he releases himself fully, he collapses on top of me. I swear that this … _this_ is what I've missed the most. I place soft kisses on his neck and glide my fingertips up and down his back as I get my fill of what should be a crushing weight but I only feel loved, protected, safe. Too soon he goes to pull out of me but I stop him.

"No, baby. Please don't move," I say, clinging to his body so he won't move. He lifts himself up onto his forearms and looks down at me.

"Love, I have to be heavy for you," he says.

"It might sound strange but I love how you feel when you're lying on top of me, still inside me," I say, blushing slightly. "I think it's my favorite thing about making love to you." A huge smile unfurls on my lips, and he furrows his brows while he stares down at me. "We just made love, Tobias."

"Is that what we did?" he asks, feigning seriousness but I hear humor in his voice and see a twinkle in his eyes. "I was wondering." I clench around him and he moans. "In all seriousness, Tris, will you tell me something?"

"Anything," I say, continuing to give him rhythmic little squeezes in the hopes that we can make love again tonight.

"I lost you for a moment in the beginning," he says. "Where did you go?"

"Honestly," I say, "I was examining how I was feeling."

"It did hurt, didn't it?" he asks, worry etching lines on his forehead.

"Did it hurt? You would think there's a black and white answer to that question but there isn't," I say. I reach up and try to smooth out the lines. "It was never painful. That I promise you, Tobias." He carefully studies my face and when he apparently finds no deception, he relaxes. "Remember the first time we made love on our honeymoon?" He nods. "We had to go slow because it had been so long. It was like that just now. I just need to get used to your size again. I've told you this before but … you are a big boy." _Very big._ I lift my head and bury it in his shoulder.

"We should have stopped," he quietly says. I lie back on the mattress and study his face.

"No, we shouldn't have," I say. "It would have been the same tomorrow night or next week or next month even. It just takes me a while to get used to you."

"I didn't hurt you?" All of a sudden I feel déjà vu wash over me. It's like I'm reassuring him after our first time. He convinced himself that he'd hurt me, and if I hadn't finally gotten through to him, we wouldn't be here like this now because I doubt I could have ever talked him to making love again. I shake my head at him. I push on his chest, and he rolls us so I'm on top of him. I sit up and he startles me by sitting up, too.

"Tobias Marcus Eaton," I scold, "you really need to stop worrying about me so much. I know you think I have no sense of self-preservation but that just isn't true. You … didn't … _hurt_ … me. I wouldn't allow it." He looks at me for a long moment then sighs.

"I believe you, Mrs. Eaton," he says then he kisses the sensitive skin just below my left ear, causing me to moan. "I remember our honeymoon and after a couple times we were back in the swing of things."

"Do you want to get back into the swing of things right now?" I mutter as I tilt my head, giving him better access to my neck.

"Mm-hm," he murmurs as he kisses my ear. He slides his hands down my back and cups my bottom, helping lift me as I push myself off his hard length with my knees. I feel the steely leanness of muscle beneath my fingertips as I grasp his back tightly, holding myself steady as he thrusts repeatedly upward into me. I hang my head back, exposing my neck to him, and he takes full advantage, kissing the hollow at the base of my throat. I close my eyes and my mouth falls open as I enjoy the feel of him moving unhurriedly in and out of me as I ride his impressive length.

"Aahh," I moan as we move together in a calculated yet primal way. When the passion grows further, he cups my cheeks, captures my mouth with his, and enthusiastically kisses me before forcefully thrusting his tongue between my parted lips, invading my mouth and stroking it aggressively against mine. I wrap one arm tightly around his neck and the other around his lower back as he surges upwards again and again as I push back down on him.

"Shit, Tris," he groans as he tightens his grip on me. I feel his short, heated breaths against my ear, and it makes me shudder. We increase the tempo until it's fast and frantic, moving us closer to a final release.

"Oh, Tobias," I moan. We writhe against each other as my body stiffens and I contract uncontrollably around his hard length. He buries his head in my curls as he groans long and low, flooding himself into me. We stop moving, exhausted, and cling to each other, letting our breathing return to normal and our hearts stop hammering in our chests. After a while I move my head off his shoulder and look into his dark blue eyes. "Thank you." He shakes his head and rolls his eyes at me.

"How many times do I need to tell my _wife_ that she doesn't need to thank me for making love to her?" he says. He pulls me to him and places butterfly kisses along my jaw then nuzzles my neck, causing me to giggle. "It's my job, Mrs. Eaton."

"Well you deserve a raise then, Mr. Eaton, because you are an expert," I tease. "Who do we contact to make sure that happens?"

"When did you become a comedian, love?" he asks. I wrap my arms loosely around his neck and draw his mouth to mine. As we kiss each other tenderly he grips me tightly and very carefully moves us until I'm beneath him again. He tears his lips from mine and gazes lovingly down into my eyes. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I say. He pulls out of me, leaving me feeling empty, and I can't help but pout a little. He rolls off of me after a soft kiss and pulls me into his embrace, our arms and legs a tangled mess. I replay every single detail of tonight, lazily lying in his arms as he plays with one of my messy curls, and I run my fingers over the patch of Dauntless flames that cover the right side of his chest. "You've never told me why you have this." The thought is out of my mouth before I realize I'm even saying anything.

"The tattoo?"

"Mm-hm."

"It was a dare," he says. That's a Dauntless enough answer but I can hear that there's more to the story. I look up into his eyes when he doesn't elaborate.

"That's the reason you have this particular design in this spot? A dare?"

"You are very perceptive," he says then gives me a soft peck. "I really have this tattoo here because of a dare. Amar invited me along to a particularly rowdy game of dare one night during my initiation. He wanted me to try to fit in more. Up until that point, I was definitely more Abnegation … an outcast." He's talked about that night before, and I still have a hard time imagining him as anything other than brave, _Dauntless_. "Everyone still considered me that transfer with the odd nickname from Abnegation, the _Stiff,_ so some guy," he furrows his brows as he pauses, "hell, I don't even remember who he was now, dared me to get a tattoo to prove that I really was Dauntless. Although I was nervous, I agreed. I didn't want anyone knowing I was nervous and … scared." He looks down at me like he's contemplating something. "That's the night I had my first taste of alcohol. I have to say I didn't enjoy it much at first. It burned going down my throat and tasted awful. I've since found drinks that I rather enjoy." I try not to react to his confession. I have questions for him but now's not the right time. "We all woke up Tori in the middle of the night." A small smile turns up his lips at the memory. "I thought she'd be angry but she was only grumpy. I don't think it was the first time she had been woken up in the middle of the night because of a silly Dauntless tradition, and I'm sure it wasn't the last. She took us though her apartment the back way to the tattoo parlor. That's where I saw the sketch for the tattoo that's on my back. Anyway, I picked this particular design basically because I liked it, and I guess I was trying to prove to the onlookers that I belonged." He stops and takes a deep breath. I roll in his arms and lay across his chest, gazing into his handsome face, which right now is wearing a tense expression. He reaches out and absentmindedly plays with my hair. I think it must be a talisman for him. "I always thought it was strange that for all the pain I suffered as a child, there was not one physical reminder. When the pain would fade and my skin would heal, I sometimes wondered if the beatings had just been a cruel figment of my imagination but then I'd do something to make him mad and the cycle would start all over again. I decided then and there that I wanted a reminder that even though wounds heal, they don't disappear forever … you carry their memory with you long after. I chose right here," he covers the flames with his hand, "because after Evelyn left us, Marcus had several really bad nights. This is my reminder of that time and of just how far I've come."

"If I'd have known, I wouldn't have asked," I quietly say, tracing the flames once again.

"Don't apologize, love," he says. "Do you know what I've missed most about making love to you?" I shake my head wondering how we've gone from talking about reminders of his horrible childhood to our lovemaking. "This. Our talks after we're … satisfied. I love just talking to you." He lightly runs the backs of his fingers down my temple. "We've learned a lot about each other during these quiet times."

"Yes, we have," I say.

"Don't ever be afraid to ask me questions," he says.

"Is it wrong of me to ask you not to drink?" I ask deciding that now _is_ the right time.

"No," he says. "I thought we had this issue settled."

"Forgive this question but I've only had experience with you and drinking twice and you were drunk both times. Can you stop with just one or two drinks or do you have to drink to get drunk every time because it's when you're drunk that," I blush softly, "I don't like you?"

"I can have one drink," he says. "I did it many nights before you."

"If you ever want to have a drink with your friends or maybe get us a bottle of wine, I would be okay with that. I just don't want you getting drunk. You're not my Tobias when you're intoxicated."

"Am I Four?"

"No. You're a total stranger," I say. "Gone is the wonderful, caring, protective man I've come to know and love very deeply. He gets replaced by a person who only cares about himself."

"I'm sorry," he says, genuinely remorseful. "I have to admit, the idea of sharing a bottle of wine with you intrigues me. Hana has shown me some nice food pairings. I can show you my skills." His hard chest vibrates beneath me when he laughs. He's so relaxed right now. "The truth is I don't need to drink every night like I did before you – my life is now broken into two parts, before you and since you. I was empty, and drinking was a way to try to fill the void. Now my life is full because of you, and I don't need that distraction."

"How did you get so romantic and always know exactly what to say? I'm so lucky."

"No, I'm the lucky one." He presses his lips to mine for a tender, loving kiss.

"We'll call it a draw," I say with a giggle.

"Okay, it's a draw," he says, a wide grin on his face. "Well, you've asked your fair share of questions this evening. Now it's my turn." He moves his hand from playing with my messy curls to gently caressing my back. "What made you talk to Isobel? I'm glad you did but I know that sex is a difficult subject for you to broach even with me."

"Besides you, I find Isobel the easiest person to talk with," I say. "I think it's the fact that she's a nurse and can answer my questions both clinically and emotionally that helps. Plus she never asks for any details like Christina does."

"Tell her to come to me," he growls. "I'll give her an earful."

"Down, Four," I tease, moving to put my lips on his. He tightens his grip on me as the kiss deepens. When we finally break away from each other, we're breathless. "Let's see. Why did I talk to Isobel? Mainly, I was tired of waiting, and I knew that no matter what I did until she said it was okay, you wouldn't make love to me."

"Sad but true," he murmurs.

"The waiting was becoming unbearable, Tobias. I was tense, irritable, overly emotional. I would cry at the drop of a hat about inconsequential things. Of course, you know all that. Then I screwed up and accidentally told Zander about Lauren being a suspect. I'm not sure what the state of our marriage would have been if we had had to wait much longer because you were angry with me and I'm really not used to that." He starts to say I'm wrong but I know better and I put my lips on his, effectively shutting him up. "Don't deny it. I could see it in your eyes. You were very cold. I knew right then and there that if we didn't get an outlet for the pent up frustration that things might be said that we couldn't take back. I just happened to run into Isobel after I got done changing Peanut. She knew something was wrong the moment she looked at me. Can I make a confession?"

"Of course, love," he says.

"I already feel so much better … better than I've felt in weeks," I say. "I'm calm, centered, relaxed. I feel like I can take anything life has to throw at me. I'm not sure what I would have done if she said we had to wait."

"We would have waited … although not so patiently," he says.

"Was tonight perfect for you, Tobias?" I ask.

"Of course it was, love. Do you really have to ask? We made love twice not to mention all the extracurricular activities. Yeah, it was perfect," he says. "I have to let you in on a little secret though. The candlelight and rose petals were a nice touch. They gave the room a romantic ambiance. The lingerie and my tuxedo shirt were … _very_ arousing but you look beautiful in anything. And those damn shoes," a growl sounds from deep in his chest resonating outward, "were … _are_ sexy as hell." We both look at my feet, which are still clad in the red stilettos. He kisses my temple. "But the only thing I need to make a night perfect," he runs the tips of his fingers up my bare back and into my hair, "is you and me. Although being naked doesn't hurt." I giggle and he moves us until he's lying between my outstretched legs once again. He kisses my neck as I run my hands over his back.

"We should really get some sleep," I say. "Morning will be here before we know it."

"You don't want round three?" God that sounds wonderful.

"Maybe you could tempt me, Mr. Eaton," I say. Just as he lowers his lips to mine, we hear whining through the baby monitor. We both turn our heads and look toward the clock. _3 a.m._? Where did the past three hours go? He kisses me quickly but passionately then rolls off me and out of bed.

"I guess it's time to get back to the real world," he says as he heads toward the nursery. He comes back a moment later with Peanut snuggled against his chest. He gently places her in my arms and it takes zero prompting for her to latch on to my nipple. I guess there's an advantage to breastfeeding when you have no clothes on. A chill causes me to shiver, which Tobias notices. He inquires on where I put the quilt, and I tell him I put it and the top sheet in the bottom drawer of the chest. After quickly gathering up the rose petals and tossing them in the trash in the bathroom, he gets the linens out of the drawer and places them on the bed, immediately warming me up. My eyes watch my handsome, _naked_ husband as he walks around the room snuffing out candles, and I think that round three might be in the cards after all. I'll just sleepwalk through tomorrow or better yet, nap at the same time Peanut goes down. He eases down onto the bed and watches as our girl gets her belly full.

"Was Tessa still asleep?" I ask as I put Peanut up to my shoulder to burp.

"Yeah," he says with a chuckle. "Her little hands are laying over her face. I tried moving one but she put it right back. She's such a silly girl. Avery's right about her changing. I was watching her sleep the other day and her features are changing. She's looking less like a tiny baby."

"She still looks just like you … only prettier," I say. My husband is one fine looking man but he could never be mistaken for pretty. He's too manly.

"And this one is turning into your little mini me," he says, softly kissing her head as she nurses. "She looks like you, acts like you. She's going to be a holy terror. I just know it. I'm thinking of locking her in her room when she hits about 10 years old. There will be no dating whatsoever. When her Choosing Day comes, we'll let her out but she has to come home every night." Yeah right!

"What about Tessa?"

"She'll beat the hell out of any boy who looks her way," he proudly says. "You may not know this but I've been talking to her since she was born about what to do with the boys." I try to hold them in but a barrage of giggles escape my mouth. " _What_ is so funny?"

"I can picture it now. Mrs. Wheeler has to call _us_ down to the daycare center because our sweet little Tessa knocks every boy who comes within two feet of her on his ass because her _daddy_ told her to." Peanut stops nursing and stares up at me like I'm nuts. "Your daddy's being silly." She slides her eyes over to look at him and smiles. "See she thinks you're silly, too." I try to get her latched back on but she keeps turning her head. "Are you done already?"

"Let me." Tobias sits up and takes her into his arms. He puts her against his chest and gently pats her back until she burps. He gets out of bed and walks around the room for a couple minutes then heads into the nursery. I slip into the bathroom then peek into the nursery when I'm finished. He's sitting in the rocking chair, caressing Peanut's head while they rock. I lean up against the doorjamb and watch him. I love how much he loves our kids and how well he treats them. He gets up and changes her diaper then puts her back in her crib, which surprises me. If he had plans to go to sleep he would have put her in the bassinet. He comes into our bedroom, closes the nursery door behind him, and pulls me into his arms. "Are you still thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Yeah," I huskily say. "I think I am." He lifts me off my feet and captures my mouth with his. I wrap my arms tightly around his neck as he gives me a soft, lingering kiss. He takes us across the room as the kiss intensifies. He leaves me throbbing for him when he sucks on my bottom lip, and I moan into his open mouth. He sits me on my feet, rips the quilt back off the mattress, and falls onto the bed, pulling me down on top of him. Our lips never leave each other as he slides and I crawl toward the center of our huge bed. I collapse on top of him and run my fingers into his hair and grasp it tightly, holding him still as I delve deeply into his mouth seeking out his tongue as our lips move aggressively together. He moves his mouth to my neck when I start sucking in lungs full of much-needed air. I feel his heart hammering against my breast. It's racing faster and faster. If mine weren't doing the exact same thing, I'd worried about him.

He flips us so that I'm once again beneath him. He peppers kisses all around my neck as he slides his hand down my body to my sensitive breasts. He massages each heaving mound for a time before rolling the aching bud between his fingers and thumbs making me moan. Once I'm writhing beneath him, he slides his hand further down to the juncture of my thighs and finds my aching nubbin with his fingertips. I draw his mouth to mine as he starts a light circular pressure. The combination of his rough, calloused fingers on my soft, highly sensitive skin is hypnotic.

"Oh, God!" I moan against his lips as he inserts a finger into my moist center and circles my nubbin with his thumb while applying a slightly greater pressure. He slowly thrusts his large digit back and forth while I lift my hips in a sensual rhythm. When he increases the speed, he adds a second finger and I groan. He curls them a bit and continuously hits that magic spot inside that makes me feel like a wildfire is racing through my veins, burning me up from the inside out. "Aahh! Shit! _Baby_!" I arch toward his exploring fingers as he moves me closer to sweet release. I grab him and pull his lips to mine and give him a sweltering kiss. I thrust my tongue into his mouth, searching, probing, tasting. I press my body to his wanting to be as close as I can. Just then a fiery explosion overtakes me, and I convulse repeatedly around his deeply thrusting fingers. I'm sure I'm going to spontaneously combust but he slows the thrusting then removes his fingers from my depths.

"I love watching you come," he says as he rolls on top of me. "I swear I could make a full time job out of it." I spread wide and hook my legs around his thighs and run my hands up his back and into his hair. He places himself at my entrance then leans down and touches his lips to mine while his fingertips graze the sides of my naked body until he is cupping my face between my palms. He kisses me tenderly as he very slowly eases himself into me, inch by incredibly hard inch, in one steady drive until I sheath him completely. He remains buried deeply inside me, unmoving, as our lips move together unhurriedly.

"I love how you feel when you're inside me, Tobias," I pant when he glides his lips to my ear. He kisses everywhere, my neck, my collarbone, my shoulders, my breasts as he lets me get used to his invading length. It's much easier this time.

"You're so tight," he roughly says right up against my ear and I involuntarily clench around his hardness causing him to moan long and low.

"Make love to me, baby," I say as I pull his mouth back to mine. I kiss him tenderly as he leisurely starts to move in and out of my body, and I lift my hips upward, meeting each one of his measured thrusts. God, how I adore this man. He's made this night beyond perfect. He's given me everything I've wanted and more. He knows me so well. He anticipates what I want before I even know it myself. We keep up the unhurried, familiar pace until he suddenly pulls out of me and flips me until I'm flat on my tummy beneath him and enters me fully in one driving trust causing me to call out in unbelievable pleasure.

" _Oh, God!_ " I scream. "Shit, yeah! Feels so good." He blankets my body with his, laces our fingers together, and holds our hands by my head.

"Tighter this way, love," he pants into my ear and I swear I feel myself get wetter with each word. He increases the pace, repeatedly pushing me into the mattress. I've missed this position, too. God, he's so good at this. I push back against him as he rhythmically drives forward, delving further into me with each long stroke. I feel another release fast approaching as we move against each other, _with_ each other. He kisses my shoulders, neck, and back as he increases the pace to a frenzied level. I seek out his mouth as I writhe beneath him, wanting him deeper still. Out of nowhere, the familiar pressure becomes a shattering explosion. I spasm almost uncontrollably around his still pistoning shaft as he releases himself deep inside me. When we are both totally spent, we collapse together, our fingers still laced. He kisses my neck and shoulder as our breathing returns to normal. He finally leverages himself off of me, and I roll over so that he can gather me up in his arms. "I hope that wasn't too rough," he says as we lie in each other's arms.

"Not at all," I say. "It was perfect. Everything about tonight … or I guess I should say this morning was perfect." He gives me a tender kiss then kisses my temple.

"I love you, my Six, very much," he sweetly says, finally showing signs of the fatigue I'm now feeling. We're going to be zombies tomorrow … _today_.

"I love you more … Four." I yawn widely and I think I hear him chuckle. He releases me from his embrace, and I feel the bed move but I don't open my eyes. Now that I'm sexually spent, I realize just how exhausted I am. I hear our door unlock and open and the next thing I know, I feel him slide the shoe off my left foot. Hhm. The right one's already gone. He crawls into bed beside me, covers us with the quilt, and then gathers me in his arms again. "G'night," I mumble almost incoherently, on the brink of sleep.

"Goodnight, my love." I feel his lips in my hair. "Sleep well."


	83. Chapter 83

My entire body aches as I linger under the multiple heads in the steam-filled extravagant shower stall. I thought about asking Tobias to join me but I unleashed a beast last night, and I honestly didn't think I could take making love to him again this morning. Three times last night has left me more than a little sore … but it's a good sore. It reminds me that I got to spend some much-needed alone time with my sexy as hell, well endowed, virile husband. I shut off the water and reach out into the cool bathroom for my warmed towel. Whoever invented the warming towel rack has my undying gratitude. Now that I've gotten used to wrapping myself in soft, fluffy warmth after either a quick in-and-out shower like most days or a long, luxurious soak in the garden tub, there's no way I could go back to cold linens on my heated skin. I quickly shut the door and dry off my body then retrieve the second towel and wrap it around my wet hair. I step out onto the toasty marble tile floor thankful that whomever designed this bathroom opted to put in-floor heating in or I might just have turned into a block of ice. I don't think I've ever totally recovered from getting unbearably cold the day Peanut made her entrance. After thoroughly towel drying my hair, I step into my closet. I decide on comfort over anything else today since I got a total of five hours' sleep in two-and-a-half hour increments. Right now I don't feel too bad but later on I know I'll be dragging. I dress in a comfortable dark gray cotton nursing bra and matching boy shorts, a long sleeve black and gray striped nursing shirt, gray yoga pants, and black and gray walking shoes. I dress then return to the bathroom, hang up my wet towels, and then pull my dryer out to dry my hair. When I'm messing around with it, I catch a glimpse of a mark on the back of my neck. I dig a hand held mirror out of one of the small drawers, turn around, lift my hair, and look at myself.

" _Tobias Eaton_ ," I growl under my breath as I take in the reddish mark on the back of my neck and it isn't exactly little. Others will be able to see it.

"Did you need something?" he asks as he walks into the room.

"Yes," I calmly say even though I'm far from calm. "I would really like you to stop leaving marks on me where people can see them." I let my hair fall back into place and, just like I thought, the love bite is still visible. I groan. He brushes my hair out of the way and looks at the mark.

"I've done this before?" he asks, bewildered. Hhm. I must never have told him.

"Mm-hm," I say.

"I'm sorry," he says, genuinely meaning it as he gently runs his finger over it. "It won't happen again, although I have to be honest, love. I don't remember ever doing something like this. Does it hurt?" I shake my head. He leans over and kisses it softly making my heart rate increase. "I really am sorry." I put the mirror down and turn toward my remorseful husband.

"I'm sorry I got upset," I say. "It really isn't a big deal but the last time I had one, Christina's the one who found it and teased me relentlessly about it and, of course, it embarrassed me."

"Will she ever learn?" he asks with a growl.

"I doubt it. She was born Candor after all. She has the habit of speaking her mind," I say. I wrap my arms around his neck and go up on my tiptoes for a lingering kiss. "Good morning, Mr. Eaton."

"Good morning, Mrs. Eaton."

"Thank you for letting me sleep a few more hours after I fed Peanut. That was very thoughtful of you."

"You're very welcome but I did that for selfish reasons," he says. "I was exhausted, too, and since the kids were all still asleep, I thought we could use the time to get some much-needed rest after last night." His eyes darken, thinking about our eventful evening or should I say morning. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling perfectly wonderful," I say. I start to give him another kiss but he narrows his eyes at me. "What?"

"You paused," he says. I did? " _And_ you're chewing on your cheek." Damn! Why do I never know when I'm doing that?

"Um … I'm … sore this morning," I quietly say, my cheeks flushing softly. His brows furrow before understanding lights his eyes. "I guess three times wasn't the charm." He doesn't even crack a smile.

"This is not a laughing matter, Beatrice Grace," he stiffly says. _Uh oh, my full name._ He's obviously upset by this admission but I don't know who he's angrier with, me or himself. "I knew we shouldn't..." His voice drifts off as he shakes his head, words of self-recrimination, I imagine, running through his mind. "Do you need to see a doctor?" My poor worry wart of a husband, always focusing on the negative. I loosen my hands from around his neck and gently lay them on his waist.

"I don't need a doctor," I say. I guess it's time to let him in on a little secret I've been keeping for the past 10 months. "I haven't told you this before … maybe I was too embarrassed, I don't know … but I was really sore for days after we first started making love … each time we did it."

" _Tris_." There's something bordering on agony in his voice. I knew he would blame himself. He doesn't want to hurt me.

"I never wanted to tell you because I knew you would beat yourself up over something that was totally out of your control, and I don't want you to do that. I love you too much," I say.

"You should have told me," he says.

"Why?" I ask. "If I would have told you I was sore, you wouldn't have touched me as often and you know I couldn't get enough of you. I still can't … obviously." I drag one hand up his body and lay it over his heart and look up into his warring eyes. "I have loved _every_ time we made love but there are certain times that stick out to me as special, and those early days of us exploring each other's bodies, becoming familiar with each other in a new and different way are all _very_ special to me. Plus I think there was a small part of me who thought you would take the sex away if I told you, and I liked the sex too much to give it up. Plus the soreness wasn't anything I couldn't handle."

"I should never have caused you pain … ever," he says.

"Tobias, baby, I hate when you beat yourself up over this." I sigh. "I'm not a masochist. Please don't mistake me for one," I say. "But the way I'm feeling right now … I kind of like it. When I feel this … _ache_ , I remember you were inside me, and I _love_ when you are inside me." I draw his mouth to mine for a passionate kiss. He holds back at first, obviously conflicted but I feel his restraint melt away when I shove my tongue into his mouth. He wraps his arms tightly around my waist and lifts me straight up, off my feet. We move our lips together eagerly, desire building until we hear giggling. I nearly fall to the floor when he suddenly releases me but, thankfully, I maintain my footing. We look around and find Tyler standing in the open doorway.

"You was kissin'," he bashfully says, still laughing at his parents' display of affection. "Daddy cawwy you."

"Yes, we were kissing," Tobias says. "I thought you were watching your sisters in our bedroom?"

"Mm-hm," he says. "But I hungwy. Can I have sompin to eat?"

"Of course," I say. "What would you like?" He makes a funny little face as I take his hand, and he thinks about it as we walk into the bedroom. Peanut is in her bouncy seat with a small smile on her face and Tessa is sitting up next to her chewing on her butterfly.

"I want toast," he finally says. "And bacon."

"French toast and bacon coming right up," Tobias says as he picks Tessa up off the floor. I unbuckle Peanut and pick her up. She nuzzles my chest a little but doesn't whine. She shouldn't be hungry quite yet but I check anyway and she eagerly suckles my knuckle when I present it to her.

"Hhm."

"What's wrong?" Tobias asks as we step into the living room. "Are you sure you don't need to see a doctor?"

"Baby, I'm fine," I whisper but then add in my normal voice, "Peanut seems warm and her nursing schedule has been all over the place the past 24 hours. Does she feel warm to you?" He presses his lips to her forehead and purposefully lingers a bit.

"Yeah," he says when he straightens up. "She does."

"I'm going to go take her temperature. I'll be right back," I say as I head back upstairs. I go into the nursery and open the top drawer of the changing table and retrieve the thermometer. She squirms a bit when I put the cold instrument to her ear but she quiets down when I gently sway her back and forth. When it beeps, it confirms a low-grade fever. I immediately get my phone out of my pocket and call the infirmary. I tell the on-duty nurse what's going on and ask how much medication I should give her because of her small size and preemie status. She tells me to give her half a dose every six hours and check in with Zander if her fever doesn't break today. I thank her then immediately give Peanut the recommended dosage. She makes a funny face then starts fussing. By the time I get downstairs, she's crying so hard that she's having a hard time catching her breath so instead of joining Tobias and Tyler for breakfast, I sit in the club chair and start nursing her, and for the first time in quite a while, she has trouble latching on. "My poor baby. Are you not feeling well?"

"What did you find out?" Tobias asks after he gives Tyler a plate of French toast and crispy bacon.

"She's got a small fever so I called the infirmary and asked how much medicine to give her," I say, worry showing through in my voice. "She didn't like it at all and started fussing then was having a full meltdown by the time we got downstairs."

"I heard her."

"I'm a bit concerned because she isn't eating the greatest right now but she seems hungry. Maybe her throat is sore. The nurse on duty said if the fever doesn't break today to bring her in to see Zander."

"Our poor girl," he says, running his hand over her head. "Maybe you should stay home with her today. I've got to make an appearance in the Pit to let the members know that I'm still around. I've probably spent too much time in my office lately. I have to stop by the infirmary and see if Zander got any DNA off the sweatshirt and pants. I also have to meet with Zeke, Shauna, and Will and update them about Lauren. I think it's time. I also have to contact a programmer I trust to see why I can't log into every program like I should be able to. If I could do it from home I would." At the mention of a trusted programmer, I remember that Avery said she and Callen found something. He's not going to be happy about this either.

"I know I should help you guys out but I'm worried about Peanut so I'll take you up on your offer." I look down at the small girl nursing from my breast. "Mommy's going to stay home with you today, Peanut. Hey, will you sit down for a minute? I need to talk to you," I say and he lowers himself onto the ottoman right in front of me, concern on his face. "Before Avery and Callen left last night, she told me that they found something on your computer."

"What was it?" he slowly asks, obviously not sure what to make of the situation.

"I don't know. I didn't ask," I say and his mouth falls open a little. "I told them it could wait until this morning." He raises one eyebrow and continues staring at me. Yeah, I was right. He's not happy with me at all.

"Let me get this straight. You thought it was more important for us to have _sex_ last night than to follow up on what Avery and Callen found?" The way he says sex cuts me like a knife, no, a razor-sharp katana. I take a deep breath and ready myself to defend my position.

"Yes, I did, and I'm not going to apologize for it … not one bit. We needed that time last night to connect not only physically but emotionally. I was at my breaking point, Tobias – you know that – but now I feel like I can handle anything Dauntless or anyone else has to throw my way. Be thankful I selfishly thought only of us last night. Everything else could wait." I remember every healing caress, every scorching kiss, every passionate, powerful movement as he stares deeply into my eyes. When I see his pupils dilate, I know the same memories are playing in his mind.

"What if it is important information, Tris?" he asks. "What if it leads us to Tori?"

"I'm sure if it had been important Avery would have said so. She's a bright girl," I say. "She didn't even look like she wanted to argue with me when I said it could wait." He closes his eyes and sighs loudly.

"You're not the least bit sorry?" he asks, putting his elbows on his knees, leaning toward me. Even though he's upset, the electricity we sometimes feel when near each other is alive and zinging back and forth.

"No," I say as I shake my head. "Like I said, everything … else … could … wait. If it turns out that what they found _is_ really important, I'll apologize to you then." He scoffs, although it is so low I barely hear him.

"You know how you feel about me keeping things from you?"

"Yes," I slowly say, wondering where he's going with this.

"I finally understand how you feel," he says. My heart tightens painfully in my chest. I hate it when he's mad at me.

"Please don't be upset with me," I say, my voice suddenly thick with irrational emotion. I can feel tears gathering behind my eyes and I fight them, _hard_ , but a few traitors spill and slowly slide down my face.

"Tears aren't really fair, love," he says, wounded, as he reaches up, cups my face, and gently wipes them away. I close my eyes as he lovingly caresses my cheek with his thumb, trying to get the tears to stop trembling in my throat, robbing me of my voice. "Why is it that you can get upset with me and come unglued but I can't be angry with you?"

"You're right," I say, sniffling pitifully. "You have every right to be upset with me. I shouldn't be reacting this way. I'm not entirely sure why I'm acting this way. I swear I didn't mean to cry. I tried to stop. I promise." My voice starts quivering again, and he wraps his arms around me being mindful of Peanut. After a couple minutes I pull away. "I'm sorry. I talked to Isobel about the lingering hormones, and she told me that it's perfectly normal. I just wish they would go away sooner than later."

"I'm sorry, too," he says. I cover his lips with my fingertips.

"You have absolutely nothing to apologize for, Tobias," I say. "I made a judgment call last night, which I still stand by but you have every right to feel however you want to about things. I don't want you thinking I'm dismissing your feelings. I wouldn't do that. I honestly tried to stop the tears but I really don't like it when you're upset with me."

"Love, we're going to get angry with one another," he says. "We're human. Let's both try to do a better job of expressing our anger in a healthier way." He sighs and runs his hand roughly through his hair. I reach up and grab it and kiss his palm.

"You're going to give yourself a bald spot if you keep doing that." He gives me a relaxed smile and there's an ornery sparkle in his eyes.

"I thought you told me you would love me even if I was bald." I chuckle, relieved he's regained his good mood.

"Completely bald not missing chunks of hair here and there," I say shaking my head with a look of mock disgust. "I couldn't be seen with you in public." We laugh together lightly then I sigh. "I promise that I'll try to do a better job in the future of not jumping down your throat or bursting into tears when we disagree."

"And I promise to try not to shut down emotionally," he says. "I love you, do you know that?" he asks.

"Yeah, I do. I still don't fully understand why, probably never will. But the one thing I do know is that I love you just as much as you love me." He's moving his mouth toward mine when we hear a crash in the kitchen. He jumps up and goes to investigate. Pretty soon Tyler comes moping up beside me with his bottom lip thrust out about a mile. Uh-oh!

"I got in twouble," he says, sounding so forlorn. "I just twying to help."

"What did you do?" I ask as I reach out and caress his face. It should never be this sad.

"He tried to put his plate in the sink and it broke. There's glass everywhere," Tobias says as he sits Tessa in my lap next to Peanut. "I have to clean up the mess. Stay in here, Tyler."

"Otay."

"Thank you for trying to help but you're still too little to put things in the sink. You can't even see into it yet," I say. "When you get bigger you can help, okay?"

"Otay. Can I sit with you?" he asks as he stares at his sisters who are sitting contentedly in my arms. I pull Tessa to the right then very carefully situate Peanut next to her, facing out. I pat the empty spot on my lap and help him up the best I can. I kiss his head as he snuggles into my side. Tessa looks up over her shoulder at me then starts babbling. This captures Peanut's attention so she smiles at her sister. For smiling the first time earlier this week, she seems to have gotten it down pat and does it all the time now. Tyler leans against me chuckling at his sisters. I see movement out of the corner of my eye and find Tobias leaning against the wall, gazing at us, a strong look of love in his eyes. He comes over and lowers his lips to mine and gives me a soft kiss.

"I love you very much," he emphatically says, his gaze burning into me like an ember. "I'm sorry about our … spat, especially after the nice evening you planned for us. Did I ever thank you?"

"Yes," I say.

"I sowwy I bwaked the plate, Daddy," Tyler says sounding absolutely despondent.

"Oh, Tyler," he says, lifting him out of my arms and wrapping him in his embrace. "Daddy's very sorry for yelling. It's okay the plate got broken. I just got scared when I saw you standing barefooted in the middle of all that glass. I don't ever want you hurting yourself, and if Daddy hadn't been there, you could have cut yourself." They hug each other tightly then Tobias peppers his face with kisses making not only him giggle but Peanut smile and Tessa laugh out loud. He sits him back on my lap then gets his phone out and takes a picture. He shows it to me, and it's definitely a keeper. All four of us are looking into the camera with happy smiles on our faces.

"That one is definitely frame worthy," I say, kissing each of my children's heads. _Children_? What a difference a year makes.

"You must be starving," he says, "because I'm famished. I'm in the mood for bacon and eggs. Do you want that or French toast?"

"Actually scrambled eggs sound delicious," I say. I stay in the living room with all three kids on my lap. After a few minutes, Tyler gets restless. "Go play."

"Thanks," he says. He starts to get down then hesitates. "Love you, Mommy." He kisses my cheek then jumps off my lap and opens the toy box. He gets out a few cars and disappears behind the couch where there's a large open space he likes to use as a racetrack.

"Ma ma ma ma," Tessa babbles.

"Do you need something, little one?" She continues jabbering and cooing then laughing at absolutely nothing or maybe it's everything that she finds entertaining. When Tobias finishes our breakfast, he takes Tessa and puts her in the swing, and I put Peanut who fell asleep a little bit ago in the bassinet. I sit down at the table and am immediately presented with a plateful of fluffy scrambled eggs, crispy thick cut bacon, hash browned potatoes, orange segments, and wheat toast slathered with honey butter. My stomach growls loudly as I inhale the aroma. I don't wait for him before digging in. I moan after my first bite and find Tobias looking at me. "This tastes so good. One day you're going to have to tell me what your secret is. I've stood and watched you make scrambled eggs and duplicated every step and mine never taste like this."

"It's a secret ingredient," he says with a smirk. "If I told you, I'd have to kill you." He laughs as he sits down across from me. We chat about nothing important as we eat our meal.

"It's nice to sit like this with you," I say. I kick off my shoes and reach out and rub my foot against his leg. His hand stalls a moment before he puts a bite in his mouth, and I wink at him. His phone rings at the same time mine starts buzzing, interrupting us. We both pull our phones out and while he says, "What can I do for you?" I read a text message from Will that says 911. I try to call him but there's no answer, so I assume he's the one talking to Tobias. I sit nervously listening to his side of the conversation, which consists mainly of grunts, yes's, no's, and nods that the other person obviously can't hear so I honestly have no clue what's going on. Peanut starts fussing so I get up to go to her and find Tessa on the verge of sleep so I turn the swing back on knowing it will lull her to sleep. I pick up Peanut and excuse myself to change her diaper. While I'm upstairs, I take her temperature again, and it's holding steady, which is both good and bad. When I get back downstairs, I put her in her bassinet so she can continue to rest. He's still on the phone, so I sit back down at the table, nearly busting from curiosity. I try Will again, and it goes to voicemail … again. I think about calling Christina but I don't want to worry her needlessly. Finally, he presses the end button on his phone. I'm about ready to launch into my interrogation when his face goes from confused to completely bewildered.

"That was Johanna Reyes," he says but doesn't continue. _Johanna Reyes_?

"Leader of Amity?" I ask, bemused. Once the name registers I remember her completely. She's a hard woman to forget. She has a thick scar that runs from just above her eyebrow down the right side of her face in a jagged line to the corner of her mouth, rendering her blind in that eye. Why would she be calling now of all times? I don't recall a time since we took over Dauntless leadership that Amity reached out for anything.

"Yeah," he says. "They found a car registered to Dauntless in one of the abandoned outbuildings surrounding Amity."

"The car linked to Tori's disappearance?" I ask and he nods.


	84. Chapter 84

"Why in the world would that car be hidden in Amity of all places? Who found it? Did they find Tori, too?" I ask throwing question after question at him, basically thinking out loud.

"Hey, one question at a time, love," Tobias says. "Unfortunately, Tori is still missing. I'm going to send a couple patrol members out to not only retrieve the car but also check it and the surrounding area for any evidence that she's been there. As for how it was found, two Amity boys were out exploring last night and stumbled across it. Since it looked different than anything they had ever seen before and it was in such an unusual place, they immediately reported it to their faction leaders. Apparently, the kids thought it was a spaceship. They were sorely disappointed when they found out it was just a car from Dauntless. And your guess is as good as mine as to why it was hidden in that faction but there's one thing I'm certain of, we're _going_ to find out."

"Something's bothering me about this," I say. "Remember our honeymoon?"

"For numerous reasons, love," he says, a soft smile on his face and a sexy twinkle in his eyes. "But is this really the time for a stroll down memory lane?"

"You're funny," I drolly say, rolling my eyes at him. "Unfortunately, I'm talking about running into Peter in the apple orchards. He was hiding in an outbuilding, too, and we never did figure out how he managed to get out of the city after he attacked me. Maybe it makes perfect sense now that we know he was friends with Lauren. She must have helped him, too." He drags in an unsteady breath and runs a hand through his hair. "Baby, have you heard from Will this morning?" He furrows his brows at the abrupt change in conversation. "He sent me a 911 text at the exact same time Johanna called you. I thought he was the one you were talking to … or at least I was hoping. Tobias, I can't get ahold of him." Concern flashes across his face as he digs his phone back out of his pocket.

"No … no new texts or voice messages from Will," he says. I know he's trying to hide it but I can hear worry in his voice. When he puts the phone up to his ear, I realize I'm holding my breath waiting to see if Will answers him or not. When he sets the phone down on the table I drag an unsteady breath into my burning lungs. "Went straight to voicemail."

"What are we going to do? Harrison's dead, Tori's missing, and now we can't get ahold of Will." I refuse to think the worst but suddenly Edward's words echo in my head warning of Molly's plan. _She's going after your friends first._ I can't help but gasp. "You need to go check on Christina and Liam," I say, trying not to panic. " _Now_. I'd go with you but there's no one to watch the kids." He gives me a knowing look and gets up but instead of moving towards the door, he comes to me. He drags me to my feet before his lips land on mine. The kiss is searching, fierce and over before it really begins.

"I'll be right back," he says, leaving me standing here with my heart hammering and my head throbbing.

"Where are you, Will?" I muse out loud as I lean against the countertop. I'm trying not to let my imagination run away with me while my heart slows but it's difficult. Molly is out for blood and instead of coming at me head on, she's coming at me through my friends. " _Coward!_ " I busy myself cleaning up the kitchen while I wait for his return.

"Daddy go bye-bye?" Tyler asks, pouting. When I hear his voice, I realize he's standing at my feet, staring up at me. I pick him up and hug him to me tightly. Poor little guy thinks his father left without saying goodbye, which I guess he did.

"Oh, buddy, he went to check in on Aunt Christina and baby Liam," I say. "He'll be back very soon … I promise. Shall we go into the other room and check on your sisters?"

"Otay," he says, his sad mood forgotten. He wraps his little arms around my neck, apparently sensing my distress and gives me one of his big bear hugs. I tighten my grip on him and pepper his cheeks with kisses.

"I love you, Tyler," I say as I carry us into the living room.

"Love you, Mommy. Moon back."

"To the moon and back," I say. "Thank you for the hug. I really needed that." I stop in front of Peanut's bassinet and look down at my little bundle of joy. She's sleeping soundly but it's obvious she doesn't feel well because her little cheeks are flushed. I gently touch her head, being careful not to wake her and find no change. She's still warm. "Peanut's sleeping."

"Yeah," he says in his version of a whisper. He knows he's supposed to be quiet when one or both of his sisters are sleeping but he doesn't always quite manage. I turn and find Tessa in her swing, her eyes barely open. I'm surprised she isn't out like a light. I set Tyler on his feet, tell him to quietly play, and head toward my little one. She smiles lazily and babbles a little when I pick her up. I sit on the end of the couch and tuck her arm under mine and hold her across my body like I do when she nurses. I've found this the most efficient way to get her to go to sleep at the moment. She fights it if she can hold her head up and look around. Tyler puts his cars on top of the toy box and gets a puzzle book off the shelf then settles in at my feet. I caress Tessa's face as I stare at the front door, willing Tobias to come through with some good news but it remains stubbornly closed. After a couple minutes, I look down and she's finally asleep. I should put her down for her nap but with all the uncertainty I'm feeling right now, I don't want my kids out of my sight. After Tyler gets bored with his puzzle, he crawls up beside me, and we sit quietly waiting on his father. About half an hour later, he finally comes through the door.

"Can you check on Peanut?" I quietly ask. "She's been fussing for a minute but I didn't want to move." Tyler fell asleep with his head in my lap, and Tessa is still sprawled out in my arms. He gives me a soft kiss as he passes. "Well?"

"She still feels warm," he says. "Is it time for another dose of medicine?"

"Not yet. It hasn't been six hours," I say. "Do you have any new information? You were gone for a long time. I got worried."

"I'm sorry. I should have known you'd worry," he says as he sits down on the edge of the club chair. "Christina and Liam are fine. Unfortunately, there's still been no word from Will. She told me he got a phone call during breakfast that shook him up badly. He said it was Dauntless business and needed to go but he didn't elaborate when she asked, which she understood at the time. That was about an hour or so before he texted you. I tried to act as nonchalant as possible but she saw right through me. She wanted to go out searching for him but I talked her into staying put in case he comes home. The last thing we need right now are others going missing.

"After I left her, I went to see Zeke and James. I quietly told them to scan the security footage from our hallway this morning. We saw Will leaving his apartment then heading downstairs to the Pire. He stopped in his office then went outside. He jumped on a train, and that's when we lost him. They're scanning popular destinations as we speak. Hopefully, they'll find him soon.

"When I finished in the control room, I stopped by my office and made a few phone calls. First, I called Simon and Tony and told them to send two of their most trusted men to Amity to pick up the car and search it, the building, and the surrounding area for any signs that Tori has been there the past few days. Even though I don't want to believe it, there's still a possibility she could be behind her own disappearance. I also asked them to grab a couple extra guys and jump the first available trains in both directions and look for Will in all the spots not covered by surveillance. Hopefully, they'll find him sooner than it will take Zeke and James to scan hundreds of different feeds.

"Then I called Zander and asked if he had an update on the DNA we asked him to run last night. He has a rush on it but it's still too soon for the results but he said the results from Frankie's autopsy were messengered over this morning by Caleb. His results were slightly different from Sam and Harrison's. There were two DNA samples pulled from the skin on his neck … one male and one female. We might have foolproof evidence against Molly after all." A knock on the door interrupts him and he says, "That should be Avery and Callen. I asked them to come by so we can discuss whatever it was they found on my computer. By the way, I think Peanut's hungry." I look at the clock and it's still early but she hasn't quieted down since he picked her up. She definitely reminds me of Tessa when she's not feeling well, eating smaller amounts more often. He goes to the door and lets our guests in. They quietly come into the room and sit where Tobias indicates. He gently lays Peanut in Avery's arms then carries Tyler to the sunroom and lays him on the love seat for a nap. When he returns, he carefully lifts Tessa out of my somewhat numb arms making sure he doesn't wake her and puts her in the travel sleeper he set up in the corner of the room then retrieves Peanut and gives her to me. I put my knuckle in her mouth, and she suckles greedily.

"I guess you are hungry," I say. "And you need a new diaper."

"Would you guys like a cup of coffee?" Tobias asks as I get up and get a diaper and wipes. "We have a relatively fresh pot."

"I would like one," Callen says. "Black please."

"None for me," Avery says.

"We also have water, milk, and juice," I say.

"Juice would be nice," she says.

"We have orange, grape, apple, and cranberry," I say.

"Apple with a splash of cranberry," she says.

"That sounds good," I say. "I'll have one of those instead of another cup of coffee. I'll be right back." I go upstairs and change her diaper. Her sleeper seems to be on the damp side so I put her in a new pink and white stripped and polka dot sleeper gown that has a dancing little bunny on the front then carry her back downstairs. I pick up the soft pink receiving blanket that's hanging on the side of the bassinet then sit down on the end of the couch. "I hope you guys don't mind, I need to feed Teagan. Unfortunately, she isn't feeling well today so what little bit of a schedule she does have is completely off."

"Poor baby," Avery says. "We don't mind at all, Tris. Do what you need to do." I put the blanket over her head, adjust my shirt and, after some difficulty, get her latched onto my nipple. Once she starts suckling though, she goes to town. After a few silent moments, Tobias comes into the living room and sets a tray on the coffee table with our drinks. He puts my juice cocktail on the end table next to me then hands Callen and Avery theirs.

"Tris told me you found something on my computer that you wanted to show us," he says as he sits down on the edge of the club chair with the coffee mug between his hands.

"After the kids went to bed last night, Callen and I decided to continue checking on the files that were accessed during the office break-ins. Just to let you know, so far we haven't found any files that were printed or altered in any way but the following personnel files were saved to a portable jump drive." She gets a piece of paper out of her jacket pocket, unfolds it, and hands it to Tobias. I watch as his eyes thoroughly scan the sheet.

"This is one hell of a list," he sighs. When our eyes meet, I can tell that it's not good news. He hands me the list of files, and I read over it. They downloaded Tobias' and mine, which doesn't surprise me at all; each member of leadership; and each and every one of our friends including the ones we've made since initiation: Avery, Callen, Afton, Declan, Brody and Ana. But the names that worry me the most are the three most near and dear to my heart at the bottom of the page.

"Why would they need Tyler, Tessa, and Teagan's files? Why do they even have files yet? They're just babies." I say as I hand the paper back to him. My hand is trembling so hard it's making the sheet rattle noisily.

"Everyone has a file. You know that," he softly says, although I know he, too, is furious. You don't mess with our kids. "Maybe they were hoping we would find this information and it would scare us."

"Mission accomplished," I mumble under my breath as I lift the blanket and peek at Peanut. She has her eyes closed, nursing peacefully, oblivious to the chaos around her.

"What else did you find?" Tobias asks.

"I was going to use your laptop to remotely access your office computer but I was having trouble gaining access. It was like something was blocking my way. Since it was the first time I'd remotely accesses a computer on my own I thought I was doing something wrong so I turned it over to Callen."

"I had the exact same problem," he says, "so I installed and ran a diagnostic program I wrote, and we found what the problem was, hidden code left on your computer during the break-in that lets its author know everything you're doing. It also allows physical changes to your computer with virtually no digital footprint. It's very sophisticated, and we never would have stumbled upon it if we hadn't been trying to get into your computer remotely. I think that's what you and Avery found yesterday when it denied you access. But we found the one thing it can't hide, the user's remote access code."

"This hidden program wasn't detected by the virus software Lauren gave me to run on all the Dauntless leaders' computers because it technically isn't a virus," Avery says. "But it mainly wasn't caught because Lauren is the one who created it in the first place and purposefully gave me the wrong tools to detect it." _Gotcha, bitch!_ This is the first actual evidence we have against her. It's no longer just supposition.

"How do you know it was Lauren who created the program?" Tobias asks, always following protocol. I would have called Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo to arrest her ass immediately.

"I've sat next to her five days a week for the past month, watching her write code," Avery says. "Her style is unmistakable. She practically signed it. Plus I don't know another person in Dauntless with this level of computer knowledge … except for Callen." She glances at her boyfriend with an awed look on her face. "I told you that you should be working with me and not in the control room." Tobias gets out of the club chair and starts pacing.

"Did you two do anything that could have alerted Lauren to the fact that you found this program?" he asks as he runs his hand through his hair. Even though what they found is good for us, it could also put them in harm's way, and that's the last thing we would want.

"It's possible that simply _finding_ the program notified her in some way but I really don't know," he says. "If I was given some time, I'm sure I could figure it out but we run the risk of definitely alerting her if she hasn't been before."

"Something tells me she already knows," Tobias mutters. Callen and Avery both frown then glance at each other.

"Why do you say that?" Avery asks. Tobias is silent for what seems like hours before he stops pacing and groans.

"We can't find Will," he says.

"We'd rather that information not leave this room at the moment," I say as I put Peanut up to my shoulder to burp. "We have people out looking for him. We're hoping it's something innocent that's keeping him from getting in contact with us."

"Should I look into the program more?" Callen asks.

"Since you are the only one who knows what you're looking for, Callen, I need you to put a copy of the program on a secure removable disc drive," Tobias says. "And Avery I need you to give a detailed written account of how you know the program was authored by Lauren. Have you gone through all the leaders' computers?"

"Yeah, we finished last night," Avery says.

"Good. When you're done with these two final things, you're off the case," Tobias firmly says. "I appreciate all your help but I'm not putting any more of our friends in jeopardy because some psycho bitch wants her twisted misguided revenge on us."

"You mean me," I scoff with a sigh. I can tell that they're both ready to argue, and I stop them with a stern look. "Four wasn't exaggerating about Molly Atwood's mental status. She's crazy, and she has help from outside _and_ inside Dauntless. We knew about Lauren, we just didn't have any proof but that doesn't mean that there aren't others who are helping her for some unknown reason. Do you think we would be able to live with ourselves if something were to happen to either one of you? Callen, you're family and Avery, you might as well be. Do you think I could ever look Nathan, Zander, or Stella in the eye again if I were the reason you got hurt … or worse? They are killing people for as little as being in the wrong place at the wrong time, we think. They wouldn't hesitate to hurt another friend. _Please_ heed Four's warning and stay out of this from now on."

"Okay," they both say at the same time.

"Can you use my laptop to make the copy?" Tobias asks.

"No, I need to physically copy it from your computer," he says.

"Will it take long?" I ask.

"It shouldn't," he says.

"I tell you what, Avery, why don't you stay here with Tris and write your statement out. I'll go with Callen to my office and get updates from Simon and Tony. After lunch you two can report back to the control room to continue watching the backlog of surveillance," Tobias says. "There's something else I need you both to do for me. Don't go anywhere by yourselves, don't stay at your apartments alone, and don't leave the compound. Although I technically can't make you do any of these things, I can strongly urge you to do as I'm asking." They look at each other and a blush colors Avery's face.

"I think we can do those things," Callen says. "Shall we go, Four?" If I'm not mistaken, he's a bit flustered right now.

"Yeah," he says. He leans down and gives me a soft, lingering kiss then caressed Peanut's head.

"Be careful," I say.

"I will," he says. He drags his phone out of his pocket and puts it to his ear as they head toward the door. After they leave, I get up and put Peanut in her bassinet then check on Tessa and then Tyler. They're both still sleeping, which surprises me. I hope they aren't getting whatever it is that Peanut has. I grab a legal pad and pen from a drawer in the kitchen then head back to the living room. Avery is sitting on the couch with her arms wrapped around her knees, staring out the wall of windows with a pensive look on her face.

"Is everything all right?" I ask as I sit down on the opposite end of the couch. Her blush deepens.

"I was just thinking about spending the night with Callen," she says. "We've never really done much more than kiss. I don't think I'm ready for … well, you know."

"Um, is there a reason that if you were to spend the night with Callen that you would have to do anything other than sleep?" I cautiously ask. He better not be pressuring her.

"Isn't that what boyfriends expect?" she quietly asks.

"I can't speak for other girls because I know it happens but Four never pressured me, not once," I say. "We waited until the time was right for both of us. Have you talked to Callen about this?" I can't help it, this subject is still very uncomfortable for me. I know I'm probably blushing as much as she is right now, if not more.

"No, I haven't," she says.

"You two seem pretty serious," I say. "I think you need to talk to him, see what his expectations are."

"I love him … very much," she says, a wistful smile turning up her lips. "I've heard about butterflies in your tummy from my friends but I didn't think it would ever happen for me. There are times that a glance from him will take my breath away. I'm not sure I can talk to him about this though. We're both so shy."

"I won't lie," I say, "it will be difficult but it's worth it in the end."

"How will I know I'm ready?"

"I can't answer that for you," I say. "Only you can."

"How did _you_ know when you were ready?" _Oh, Lord_!

"Avery, have you forgotten which faction I came from? You have no idea how hard this subject is for me to talk about," I squeak, flames of embarrassment threatening to shoot out of the top of my head.

"Please, Tris," she says. "I know you think of me as just a kid but you're like a big sister to me. I can't ask my mom about his. First I would die of embarrassment then she would dig me up and kill me all over again. And my friends," she sighs and shakes her head, "they think we should be doing it already. They tease me all the time because I'm a…" She can't bring herself to say it. I never could either. I decide to swallow my fears and talk to her.

"They can't tease you any more than my friends teased me," I say. She lifts her eyes to mine. "I don't like advertising this to the world but Four was one of my original seven fears in my fear landscape. I was scared of being intimate with him." Her brows fly up in surprise. "Terrified actually." I shake my head, amused that I ever had that reaction to the thought of making love to him. "So how did I know I was ready to take my relationship with Four to the next level?" I sigh thinking about the time that led up to that first encounter. We could have cut the sexual tension with a knife. "Well, it was a gradual buildup but the one thing I knew without doubt was that I loved him more than anything in this world, and I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else ... _ever_. Whenever we would kiss, I never wanted to stop. As a matter of fact, I only wanted to go further. I learned that I desired him … physically. I think that's when I knew I was ready but before we allowed anything to happen, we talked about everything … our feelings, our expectations, birth control, what it meant for our relationship. You have to be open and honest with Callen all the time about what you want. Communication is a must for any relationship to flourish and believe me, when you can talk to the one you love the most in this world without fear or embarrassment, you'll reach a level of intimacy you didn't know existed."

"I guess I just need to swallow my pride and talk to him," she says. "It's difficult at his apartment though. He only has a bed." I chuckle and she furrows her brows at me and frowns. I hear Tessa so I get up and get her out of the travel sleeper.

"Ma ma ma ma," she babbles with a grin on her little face.

"Hello, little one," I say then sit back down. She hides her face in my chest when she sees Avery then peeks out from time to time with a big grin. "I wasn't laughing at you, by the way. I know where you're coming from. I asked Four to buy a couch when we first started dating so there would be someplace other than his bed to sit."

"Did he have a problem with that?" she asks.

"Not at all. He loved me even then," I say. "Oh and by the way, I don't think of you as just some kid. I count you amongst my closest friends, Avery."

"Thanks for that and thanks for listening and the advice," she says. "I'm nervous to talk to him but I know that it needs to be done and it will be worth it in the end."

"l need to thank you, too, for pushing me out of my comfort zone," I say. "It drives Christina up the wall that I don't want to have 'girl talk' with her. Every time I talk about sex it helps. Oh, and another thing, don't let someone's teasing or pressuring change who you are. You have to make your decisions in your own time not on someone else's schedule."

"Avey?" Tyler says as he comes stumbling into the room, rubbing his eyes. "You come to play with me?"

"I wish I had time to play, buddy, but I have to write a report for your mom and dad before lunch starts," she says. "I promise we'll play soon."

"Otay," he says with a sigh then he looks at me. "Mommy, my tummy hungwy."

"Let's get you some lunch then," I say. "Av, there's a pen and paper for you." I point at the coffee table.

"Thanks, Tris, for everything." We leave Avery to write the report Tobias requested, and I take some leftovers out of the freezer and put them in the oven to warm after I put Tessa in the swing.

"Will you help me set the table?" I ask Tyler.

"Yeah!" he says. I get the plates from the cupboard then hand them to him one at a time until the table is set.

"You are a very good helper," I say.

"Thanks!" he says then he frowns and his bottom lip starts quivering.

"What's wrong?"

"I want my Daddy," he says, tears gathering in his eyes. I don't know what caused the 180 but it breaks my heart. I sit in the chair and pull him into my lap.

"Daddy came home while you were sleeping," I say. "He carried you into the sunny room to take your nap. He's with Callen right now taking care of some business. He'll be home really soon. I promise." He gazes up at me with a look that says he doesn't quite believe me.

"You say that befowe," he says.

"And he came home just like I said but you were sleeping," I say.

"Something sure smells good," Tobias says as he walks into the kitchen.

"Daddy!" Tyler wails, stopping him in his tracks. He struggles out of my embrace, jumps down off my lap, and runs to his father who scoops him up and hold him tightly.

"You forgot to say goodbye," I whisper in his ear before checking on the lasagna and garlic bread.

"I'm sorry I forgot to say goodbye," Tobias says. "I didn't think I would be gone long."

"I missed you," he whimpers.

"I missed you, too. Did you help Mommy with lunch?"

"Yeah, I help." Tobias tries to put him down but Tyler clings to him.

"Buddy, you have to let me go," he says. "Daddy has to go potty."

"Otay." Tobias sits him at the table then goes into the powder room while I get lunch on the table. I kneel down beside Tyler and run my hand through his hair.

"Are you feeling better now that Daddy's home?" He nods his head up and down but he still looks sad. "I want to see that beautiful smile," I say but his bottom lip only juts out further. "No smiles?" He shakes his head. "Okay." I kiss the top of his head then move Tessa from the swing to her booster seat then walk into the living room. "Would you two like to have lunch with us?"

"Thanks for the invitation but we're going to meet Afton and Declan and walk to the cafeteria together," Avery says. "Here's my report. I think we're going to take off now." She walks into view of the dining room and says, "Bye, Tyler. I'll see you soon." He waves but still refuses to smile.

"He's pouting," I say.

"Thanks again for the talk," she whispers. "I'm going to take your advice."

"I'm glad to hear that," I say. "We'll see you guys later. Have a nice lunch."

"Bye," they say at the same time. Before I get to the kitchen, Peanut starts whining so I pick her up and carry her into the dining room with me. Just as I'm getting ready to ask what he learned, his phone rings.

"I'm sorry," he says as he digs it out of his pocket. "What have you learned … Where … Now … Thanks, Simon."

"What did Purple-Hair say?" I ask, anxious to learn any new information.

"They found Will … and Tori," he says.


	85. Chapter 85

I hurry down the long, steep, winding path that leads to the Pit, practically having to run to keep up with Tobias. I hold Peanut close to me in the sling, trying not to jostle her too much, especially since she's already not feeling well. Even though each hurried step carries us closer to our destination, it feels like time is moving backward and we'll never reach our friends who were rushed to the infirmary. A little over an hour ago, we got a phone call from Purple-Hair with the news that he and Snake-Tattoo found Will and Tori at the Navy Pier. Unfortunately, the details of exactly what transpired this morning are still a bit sketchy. All we really know is they were both found unconscious, Tori posed on the carrousel for shock value with what appeared to be strangulation marks on her neck and Will sprawled on the ground with a fresh head wound. Until they checked their friends' pulses, they thought the worst. Upon finding them both alive, they first called for medical assistance and transportation back to Dauntless then called Tobias.

Almost immediately upon getting the news that they were found, I called Stella to see if she was available to watch Tyler and Tessa for us so we could get to the infirmary to be there when Will and Tori were brought in but she was already in Erudite on ambassador business. I momentarily contemplated asking Will and Christina's nanny, Fiona, if it was okay to just drop them off with her but I didn't want to subject my kids to someone new today, especially with the way Tyler reacted to Tobias' absence this morning so I decided to call and ask Avery and Callen to cut their lunch short and come back to watch them. She immediately agreed. When Tyler figured out that Tobias was getting ready to leave again, he had another meltdown. Once he calmed down enough to listen we told him that Avery was coming back over to play with him and that placated him. Even though he was not happy at all that his daddy had to leave again, he was over the moon that Avery decided that she would come back over to play. While we were waiting on Avery and Callen, Tobias and I quickly discussed leaving Peanut at home, too, but we didn't think it would be fair to Avery since we still haven't tried to give her a bottle so she got to come with us.

The fact Tori has finally been found and that she and Will have been rushed to the infirmary from the city has started to spread around the compound like wildfire, and several members have tried to stop us on our way to the Pit with questions but Tobias tells them as diplomatically as possible that we don't have any answers and we really need to be on our way. Everyone seems to understand our rushed nature and steps out of our way. When we round the corner from the Pit floor through the double doors into the infirmary's waiting room, I'm quite surprised to see it completely barren. I was expecting a crowd of gawking onlookers and concerned friends waiting for any crumbs of information we saw fit to give. Ignoring infirmary protocol, Tobias opens the door that leads to the examination rooms and goes in search of someone. I hesitate only a moment before I follow after him. It doesn't take us long before we hear familiar voices coming from an open examination room door.

"Tris!" Christina yelps as she jumps up and comes running to me. She throws her arms around me and hugs me tightly before realizing that Peanut is between us. "I'm sorry." She lets go of me, and I really look in her face for the first time. Her pretty brown eyes are rimmed in red, and there are tears streaming down her face.

"She's okay," I say as I put my arm around her waist and lead her back to the chair she just jumped out of. "Have you been given an update on Will's condition?" Tobias pulls a second chair over, and I thank him then sit down next to my best friend and take her hands in mine. I look up and see Purple-Hair, Snake-Tattoo, and a couple other people I've never seen before gathered in the corner. Across the hall, a door swings open, and the typical sounds of a trauma room flood out. I hear beeping, clanging, people talking over one another, and Zander barking orders.

"He's having an MRI and a CT scan right now," she says, her voice unsteady and thick with tears. "I've never been so scared in all my life. First, I didn't know where he was. Then when he was found, he was hurt. I thought I was going to lose him but Dr. Parrish says he should be fine. He just wants to make sure there's no bleeding or swelling on his brain and that there's no skull fracture. Whoever hit him, hit him really hard." Her face twists with a mixture of anguish, heartache, fury, and hatred.

"Do you know what happened?" I ask.

"I think I can answer that," Purple-Hair says, stepping forward and we all look his way. "He regained consciousness on our way here and gave us what details he could remember. He said he got a phone call during breakfast tipping him to Tori's location. Without calling for backup, he jumped the first train to the Navy Pier. When he reached the abandoned Pier, he thought maybe it was a trap because he got a strange feeling like someone was following him." I've had that feeling there, too. _Damn Molly_. "When he reached the carrousel, he found Tori." Purple-Hair shudders. "He tried to send a mass text with his location and the information about Tori but was struck on the back of the head and knocked unconscious. He doesn't remember anything else until he woke up in the car and even then things were a little hazy."

"What about Tori?" I ask.

"She seems to be holding her own at the moment," he says. "It wasn't a pretty scene. It's something I won't forget."

"Four, maybe you should take Simon into the hallway and get the details," I say. "I'm sure Christina doesn't want to hear this."

"Actually, I do," she says, sounding a little more like herself.

"When Tony and I walked up on that scene, my heart dropped. I've never in my life experienced anything like it, and I hope to God that I never do again. Since the Ferris wheel and the carrousel have been refurbished I've never seen the Navy Pier deserted like it was today. We even tried the Crystal Gardens building, and it was locked with no signs of life. First, we saw Will lying face down on the gravel path, bleeding from what looked to be a severe head wound. There was a bloody rock next to his body." Christina gasps when she hears her beloved was struck with a rock. He _is_ lucky to be alive. "While I felt for a pulse, Tony bagged the rock as evidence. Thankfully, Will's pulse was strong. Something caught my eye and that's when we found Tori. She was … posed … in a way I will not repeat. The perpetrators obviously wanted to humiliate her and shock whomever found her. At first glance, I honestly thought she was dead. She suffered while she was missing. Her body was covered with bruises and abrasions and what appeared to be ligature marks were found on her neck, wrists, and ankles." _What the hell did they do to her_?

"Did you search the area for any other evidence?" Tobias asks.

"There was a note that I bagged and gave to Zander to run DNA and fingerprints. Obviously, he won't get to it for a while. I waited with Will and Tori while Tony swept the perimeter, checking for any other evidence but he didn't find any."

"What did the note say?" I ask and he pauses. This mess really has him acting out of character. I didn't think anything bothered him or his equally intimidating colleague but Snake-Tattoo looks just as shaken.

" _Four down…_ " he says.

"Four down?" Tobias spits then he mutters a string of profanity so low that I think maybe I imagined it. My heart starts hammering in my chest, and I clutch Christina's hands even tighter but she doesn't even seem to notice. "He was right."

"Who was right?" Christina asks.

"Edward," he says. "He warned us that Molly had a plan and that it started with our friends. That's why I warned all of you to watch your backs the night Tori went missing. That psycho bitch holds us responsible for Peter's death and is trying to make us pay by going after our friends."

"She's not going to make it, is she?" I softly say. "She was given the serum. They killed her."

"We don't know that, Tris," Tobias says.

"But we do," I say. "The note. _Four down_."

"But Sam wasn't our friend," he says. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not dismissing her death but she meant nothing to us so the number four is off."

"Is it?" I ask. "Simon, where was the note found?"

"It was sticking out of Will's pocket," he says. I think until this point we all assumed it was with Tori but now the number makes perfect sense.

"One: Harrison," I say holding up a finger and then a second. "Two: Frankie." I lift a third finger. "Three: Tori." I lift a final finger and they all tremble as does my voice. "Four: Will. I don't think Sam was accounted for in the note because her death wasn't part of Molly's plan. Molly thinks she killed Tori and Will." Silence falls upon the room like a blanket of freshly fallen snow. No one says anything, knowing that my assumption is probably correct.

Peanut starts whining so I free my hands from Christina's and check on my baby girl. After putting her in a fresh diaper, I sling a light weight blanket over my shoulder and put her to my breast. I'm immediately comforted by her suckling. I need a little normalcy in the midst of all the chaos. I sit on one of the two beds away from everyone as she nurses, watching people come and go from the large room. Purple-Hair, Snake-Tattoo, and their cohorts leave, and some of our friends start trickling in. Uriah takes the chair I vacated and wraps his arm around Christina's shoulders. I hadn't noticed before but they have become really good friends since they partnered up for initiation. I watch as Tobias makes a couple phone calls. He comes my way when he feels my gaze.

"How's Peanut doing?" he asks as I hold her against my shoulder, softly patting her back to get her to burp.

"She's still warm," I say. "I can't believe we walked out of the house and forgot her medicine. I should go to the pharmacy and get her another bottle."

"I'll do it," he says. "I need a few minutes to clear my head. Hopefully, there will be word on Will and Tori soon." I expect him to head toward the door but he lingers.

"What is it?" I whisper, fear welling up inside.

"I don't know," he says. "Something about this entire situation doesn't feel right." He sits down beside me and runs his hand over Peanut's head then leans down and whispers in her ear, "Daddy loves you, Peanut." She turns her head and looks at him then gives a little smirk. "Beautiful." He suddenly puts both hands on either side of my face and places his mouth on mine. When our lips start moving together, everything else in the room fades away leaving only our synchronized mouths and our perfectly timed, racing hearts. Before he pulls away, he kisses my temple, lingering a bit. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I breathlessly say. "Hurry back."

"I will," he says. He gets up and just before he exits the room, he frustratingly runs his hand through his hair. He's obviously very upset. I should go with him but I have to continue nursing our daughter besides he just asked for a couple minutes alone so I will respect his wishes. I put Peanut to my other breast and try to relax into the uncomfortable mattress. I fix my eyes on the door across the hallway, wondering what's happening on the other side. Is Will back from his MRI? Is he really going to be okay? Is Tori still hanging in there? Is it possible I'm wrong and they didn't give her the serum? Is Zander learning anything helpful that can lead to the arrest of their assailants?

Just as Peanut is slowing down, Tobias comes back into the room with the small bottle of medication. He sits down on the bed in front of me, blocking me from view then measures the correct dosage the on-duty nurse said to give her. She starts crying when I pull my nipple from her mouth, and he quickly puts the dropper in her mouth. She smacks her lips together then makes a funny face so I know she swallowed the medication right down. After a little coaxing, she continues to nurse.

"Are you okay?" I quietly ask. When his eyes meet mine, I see something close to desperation in them.

"I'm frightened for our friends. I don't want anyone else to die because of that psycho bitch and her friends but I honestly don't know what to do. I feel lost, Tris. Part of me wants to bypass protocols, interrogations, and truth serum and just send Simon and Tony out to retrieve Molly, Drew, and Lauren so we can execute them all in the middle of the Pit. They've done so much damage in such a short amount of time. Dauntless deserves swift justice." He reaches out and takes my free hand in his, lovingly caressing my palm with his thumb. "That's what Max and the old leaders would have done in a heartbeat, especially if someone was targeting the leaders of this faction. There's a small part of me that thinks their way … the old _reckless_ way would be best."

"But we're not them," I say. "We're trying to make things better." He hangs his head and sighs.

"I know but is anything actually better?" he says.

"You know they are," I say. "Members tell us again and again. We may not be Candor but our faction likes to make its opinions known."

"You're right. I won't allow Molly, Drew, or any other person helping them to change who I am, who we are, or what Dauntless is becoming. Unfortunately, we don't even have enough evidence at the moment to charge her with anything beyond trespassing, which wouldn't even hold her for the night. Plus what do you punish a factionless person with? You can't exactly make someone _more_ factionless." He leans in closer to me and lowers his voice. "I'd like to kill her for what she's done. No one would miss her."

"I thought the exact same thing about Peter many times, and Molly's misguided devotion to that monster is why we're in this mess," I say. I reach out and caress his stubbled jaw and smile sweetly. "You didn't shave this morning. You look good with a little stubble." Electricity flies back and forth between us. I can't imagine how I would be feeling right now if we hadn't made love last night because the slightly irrational, deeply-seated need we feel for each other is alive, powerful, and making itself known right now. He reaches up and covers my hand with his, closes his eyes, and sighs.

"Four, Tris," Zander says as he comes into the room, breaking our spell. Tobias moves my hand to his lips and kisses the palm before turning at the sound of his name. "I have an update for you." He moves his eyes to Christina and says, "For you as well. Would you rather have some privacy?" I look around the room and see that it's practically filled to capacity by our friends.

"No," she says. "I would just have to repeat everything you tell me anyway."

"Very well," he says. He looks at the chart in his hand then looks back at Christina. "Will was moved to a private room and is resting comfortably. He's very lucky that the guards found him when they did and called for immediate medical attention. He's lost a significant amount of blood. The wound on the back of his head took 21 stitches to close. He has some memory loss, double vision, and balance issues. The CT scan confirmed a concussion so I will be keeping him, at a minimum, overnight. I consulted with a specialist from the city hospital on his MRI, and we both concur that there are no signs of bleeding or bruising but there is a small nondisplaced skull fracture and minimal swelling, which must be resolved before he can be discharged. We are treating him with IV fluids, oxygen, and IV medications. The second CT has already shown reduction in the swelling. Do you have any questions for me, Christina?"

"No," she says, shaking her head.

"Marlene will take you to him now." Until Zander mentions Marlene, I don't see her standing beside him.

"Thank you, Dr. Parrish," she says as she quickly gets to her feet. Marlene exits into the hallway and she follows behind her.

"I'm afraid that I can't discuss Tori's condition with all of you," he says. "Four, Tris can you meet me in my office in about five minutes?"

"Of course, we understand," Tobias says. "Can you tell us one thing? Is she still alive?"

"For now," he solemnly says before turning around and exiting the room.

"Why don't you guys go ahead and take off," Tobias says to our friends who still look anxious for answers. "Will needs rest. Until there's more information on Tori, there really isn't anything you can do here."

"Is there anything we _can_ do, Four?" Ciara asks. He gets up off the bed and closes the examination room door.

"There is something that all of you can do," he says, sounding more like Four than I've ever heard him. "Stay out of it. I don't mean to sound harsh but there's a killer out there targeting all of you in this room for one reason and one reason only, you are friends with Tris and me. We almost lost Will today and more than likely we will lose Tori. I refuse to lose anyone else. So no one go anywhere alone. I mean it. If I catch you by yourself, _I'll_ kick your ass, and I don't care who you are. I also would prefer if you stayed inside the compound. Please try to stay safe. We've got to go. Tris?" I get up off the bed and move across the room toward my husband.

"We don't want to see anything happen to any of you because a crazy girl has a vendetta against us. It would kill us," I say. "You all remember Molly and Drew from last year." They nod. "Keep an eye out for them. They're dangerous."

Tobias looks down at me then adds, "And Lauren Jones. She's helping them." Everyone starts talking at once and Uriah whistles loudly, effectively cutting everyone off. "Thanks. That information doesn't leave this room but you need to know who to be leery of. Now we really need to talk with Dr. Parrish." We walk into the hallway and we hear the room explode with activity. "Was I too harsh?"

"You're scared," I say. "They understand." Peanut starts whining so I take her out of the sling and put her against my chest. First she stretches her little legs then her arms and promptly falls back to sleep. "She's tired of the sling."

"Do you want me to take her?" he asks.

"I'm good right now," I say. "I'll let you know when my arms get too tired."

"Okay," he says as he knocks on Zander's doorframe, letting him know we're here.

"Sit down," he says after we walk into his office and close the door behind us. He runs both hands through his hair much like Tobias is prone to do when he's frustrated.

"What can you tell us about Tori's condition?" I ask.

"The preliminary test results confirm that Tori was given the same serum that killed Sam, Harrison, and Frankie. She's alive but her vitals are all over the place at the moment, and her heart rate and blood pressure are both dangerously high. I hate to say it but I'm not optimistic about her prognosis."

"What about her other injuries?" Tobias asks.

"She has defensive wounds on her hands and forearms. I imagine that during her captivity she was tied to a chair because she has ligature marks on her wrists and ankles. She struggled violently with someone causing her four cracked ribs, a bruised kidney, several contusions, and multiple abrasions. I'm certain that whomever she tangled with looks just as bad as she does."

"What about her neck?"

"Injection mark, redness, irritation, swelling just like the other victims," he says. "I've taken several DNA samples from her body and had then messengered to Caleb."

"I know you don't like talking in percentages but does she have any chance at all of pulling through?" I ask. I expect an immediate answer and am surprised when he furrows his brows and hesitates. "Zander?"

"Is there a possibility that she's… Divergent?" he finally asks.

" _Divergent_? _Tori_?" I squeal, causing Peanut to jump. Thank God we closed the door behind us. We don't need anyone overhearing this conversation. I pat her back and gently bounce to get her to calm down. I look over at Tobias, and he has a confused look on his face. "Why would you ask that?"

"Based on the previous cases, she shouldn't still be alive," he says. "I compared her test results with Sam, Harrison, and Frankie's and the levels are all identical so I've been searching for any differences and then I thought of you, Tris."

"Me?"

"You are the only person I've ever known to survive death serum," he says. "You did that because you're Divergent. So is there any way she's Divergent?"

"I haven't noticed anything about her but … her brother was Divergent," I say. _Tori_? _Divergent_? Maybe that's why she helped me during initiation. Maybe it wasn't just about her brother. Now I know why Zander didn't want to talk about this in front of others. If she's Divergent, we have to do everything in our power to protect her secret.

"From what I've seen in my time in Dauntless, Tori has always been protective of the Divergent," Tobias says. "It's one of the reasons she always volunteers to administer the aptitude test. I guess it wouldn't be a stretch if she's one herself." I shift Peanut in my arms then press my lips to her forehead for a kiss and realize that she feels warmer than she did earlier. "Let me take her, love."

"I think she's getting worse," I say, worry causing my head to throb. Tobias carefully takes her out of my arms and presses his lips to her forehead then frowns.

"I think you're right," he says.

"Is Miss Teagan not feeling well?" Zander asks.

"She had a slight fever this morning but she almost seems warmer now," I say. I tell him about my conversation with the on-duty nurse and the amount of medication we've given her. "She told me to bring her to the infirmary if her fever didn't break." He gets out from behind his desk and puts his stethoscope in his ears and listens to Peanut's chest and lungs. He then takes her temperature and looks in her ears.

"Well, it looks like she's got an ear infection but we caught it early," he says. My poor girl. I guess it's a good thing we brought her with us. I reach over and caress her head. "I'll give her a prescription for an antibiotic. Are Tyler or Tessa exhibiting any symptoms?"

"I don't think so," I say then look at Tobias. "What do you think?"

"Tyler took a long nap this morning then was especially cranky but he didn't complain about not feeling well," he says. Zander hands me the prescription just as his office phone and cellphone both start ringing at the same time.

"Sorry," he says as he answers his desk phone as he takes the cell out of his lab coat. He jumps out of his seat as he hangs up and heads toward the door. "Tori woke up."


	86. Chapter 86

Before Tobias and I reach Tori's room, we can hear her. She's screaming, hissing, and cussing loudly at whomever is obviously trying to help her. Zander bursts through the set of double, thick, wooden doors into the trauma examination room but as they swing shut, one sticks on a protruding tile not allowing it to close all the way. We linger in the hallway, able to see and hear everything that's going on but part of me wishes that I didn't have to see what I'm seeing. Whatever Molly did to Tori made her feral like a wild animal. She's thrashing about on the bed, screaming for everyone to get away from her. Her eyes are wide and wild. She's clawing at her skin and hospital gown trying to get some unseen thing off of her. She definitely isn't the Tori I have known for more than a year now.

"I've got to get out of here," I say as I reach up and take Peanut out of Tobias' arms, not wanting Tori's suffering to touch her any more than it already has. I walk across the hallway, kicking the heavy doors with my foot, which close behind me with a thud. I cross to the far side of the large room and sit down on the bed, double thinking sending everyone home one short hour ago. It would be nice to have someone to talk to right now instead of listening to the muffled sounds coming from Tori's room. I look down at Peanut whose eyes are on me. "How are you feeling, my sweet baby girl? Zander says you have an ear infection. He gave Mommy and Daddy some medicine that should make you feel better really soon. I'll give you some before the next time you eat." She stares up at me, her little brows furrowed so I caress her head and smooth out the lines with my thumb. "Why don't you go back to sleep or are you getting hungry again?" I run my finger down her cheek, and she turns her head towards it and opens her mouth. "Hungry it is." I gently lay her down beside me then pull the diaper bag to me, which I sat on the end of the bed. I dig out a new diaper and the wipes. I look up when I hear the door open.

"Are you alright, love?" Tobias asks as he pulls a chair up beside the bed and sits down.

"Oh, baby, don't worry about me," I say as I finish up with Peanut's diaper. "How is Tori?"

"She's resting at the moment," he says. "Zander had to give her a strong sedative to calm her down. It took a while to take effect but once it did, her blood pressure and heart rate finally came down. It's the first time that's happened since she was found. Zander thinks it's a good sign."

"Peanut's hungry again," I say as I pick her up. "I wanted to give her the antibiotic before I nursed her. Can you go to the pharmacy and get it?"

"Of course," he says. "Will you be okay here alone?" I smile blandly at him.

"Are you going to be okay walking to the pharmacy on your own?"

"Okay, okay," he says with a smirk. "I'll be right back." He gives me a swift, soft, love-filled kiss then heads back out the door.

"Daddy will be right back with your medicine then I'll feed you," I say when she starts fussing. "I promise." I gently bounce her in my arms as I await Tobias' return. He isn't long.

"Here you go," he says as he hands me the filled dropper.

"Thank you," I say. I put the dose of antibiotic in Peanut's mouth and after she swallows it down, I put her to my breast. Once she latches on, she acts like she hasn't eaten every two hours today. "I have to apologize for leaving you standing in the hallway like that," I say. "I couldn't stay, listening to her suffering."

"You have nothing to apologize for," he says. "I wanted to tell you to go but I'm trying to be thoughtful of your feelings. I don't want you to think that you're not included."

"And I love you for that," I say.

"Only that?" he flirts. A knock on the door startles us, and I quickly throw a blanket over Peanut's head as Zander walks into the room.

"I'm sorry," he says. "I'm not interrupting, am I?"

"Of course not," I say. "Do you have an update on Tori for us?"

"Her vitals have stabilized," he says. "I've had a detailed analysis of the enhanced death serum administered to Sam, Harrison, Frankie, and Tori run, and every single molecule is identical. Also, I now know every single component. The one thing I'm at a loss for is why a person would put this particular cocktail together. It doesn't make any sense. I know it may not seem like it but Tori is lucky to be alive," Zander says. He takes a sheet of paper off the clipboard he's carrying and hands it to Tobias. "That's a copy for your records."

"Thanks," he says as he reads the list over. "Can you tell me exactly what each of these elements do?"

"Sure. Obviously, the death serum is designed to kill the subject it's administered to. The long-range simulation serum puts the recipient into a simulation. Tests done during its developmental phase showed effectiveness at distances up to 20 miles according to Erudite records I received from Caleb. The stimulant keeps the body's senses heightened. Finally, the sedative knocks the recipient out." We all look at each other, the only sound in the room is Peanut's suckling until Tobias draws in an unsteady breath.

"I think I might know what this serum is used for," he says. "I recognized the panic Tori was displaying, although I've never seen it at that level. It's like she was in a fear simulation. She kept screaming 'get them off me.' Do you know how many times in the past three years I've heard those exact words while watching initiates trying to get spiders, ants, centipedes and all sorts of creepy crawlers off themselves? Then if you factor in the sedative and stimulant, they basically ensure that the victim is unconscious but still hypersensitive to stimuli. Combine those three with the fourth, death serum, and you basically have a recipe for scaring someone to death."

"Killing with fears? Who is diabolical enough to think of something like that?" I ask.

"I have no idea but I would bet money that it wasn't Molly," Tobias says. "And even if she was smart enough she would need help. A new serum isn't just something you can whip up on a stove. And for as smart as Lauren is, I don't think that she could manipulate serums in that way. She's got even more help out there."

"I vaguely remember a conversation my parents had at the dinner table when I was little saying that new serums needed a mandate from the council and have to be made in a lab at Erudite," I say, looking toward Zander. "Is that true?"

"I actually think I've heard that before," he says. "I'm not sure if the directive stands but maybe it's time to have Caleb do some research at Erudite." The thought of asking my brother who is already on a mad woman's radar simply because we share the same DNA to look into this mess causes my chest to tighten. I close my eyes and take a couple deep breathes in hopes they will calm me but they do little to soothe my nerves.

"Love, are you alright?" Tobias quietly asks, concern in his voice. I open my eyes and reach up and caress his forehead, smoothing out the worry lines with my thumb just like I did for Peanut a few minutes ago.

"I know that it needs to be done but I hate to involve Caleb," I say. "I hate to involve anyone to tell you the truth." I move my eyes to Zander's. "We were told that Molly and Drew are going after our friends first and then moving on to our family. If anyone else gets hurt because of us I don't know what I'll do."

"This … _situation_ is not your fault, Tris, and it's not yours either, Four. None of us think so," Zander says. "Don't push your friends away and don't stop asking for help because you think someone could get hurt. Don't get me wrong, I don't want anyone else hurt but we don't want anything happening to you two either."

"We appreciate that but the less people involved the better," Tobias says. "I'm going to check Tori's file to see if I can confirm her fears from her landscape, although we know fears change over time. What she experienced may not match her file anymore."

"It would be good to check anyway," he says. "I'm going to keep her sedated for the rest of the day. First thing tomorrow, I'll start weaning the sedation and see what her mental state is. I won't lie to either of you; there's a chance she'll never come back from it, that the trauma was just too much to bear." The thought makes tears prick the back of my eyes but I fight them off.

"Is Will well enough for us to speak with him?" Tobias asks. "We need some answers from him."

"You can stop by and see if he's awake," Zander says. "He's in room 102."

"We'll do that as soon as Teagan stops nursing," I say. "You don't mind that we're using the room do you?"

"Take your time," he says with a warm smile on his face. "I'm going to check on the tests you asked me to run last night. I'll also start on the note that was brought in with Will and Tori."

"I'd appreciate an update as soon as you get any information," Tobias says. "We're closing in on Molly and her accomplices but there's still so much more to learn."

"You got it, Four."

"Killing you with your fears. I've been so worried all this time about them having to face the death serum that I dismissed the simulation aspect," I mutter after Zander leaves us alone. "I still don't understand why someone would invent such a thing. It must have been like torture for them."

"You had a good idea about checking the public records to see if someone ever tried to create a different death serum," he says as I burp Peanut.

"I have a vague memory of sitting at the dinner table listening to my Mom and Dad talk about it. If I'm remembering correctly, neither one of them thought it was a good idea but…"

"But what?" he asks.

"Your father okayed it," I say not wanting to bring Marcus into the conversation. "You don't think?"

"He's capable of anything, love," he says. "We both know that. I think it might be time for a visit to Abnegation. The kids could get to see their grandparents, and we could get some information. Maybe we could give Caleb a heads up as to what information we're needing and he and Cara could come, too."

"I like that idea," I say. "Is Sunday okay or should we do it tomorrow?"

"Sunday should be fine," he says. "Tyler will especially love seeing your parents."

"I know he will. Maybe we shouldn't tell him about the trip just in case something comes up that postpones it," I say.

"I agree," he says. "How is she doing?"

"Our poor girl. She doesn't feel well," I say. "She's just like Tessa when she's sick, eats all the time. It's been approximately every two hours today. Once it wasn't even two hours. I'm worried about her."

"She'll be fine," he says. "Won't you, Peanut." He leans over and kisses her head but she doesn't react. She just keeps her eyes closed and suckles away. "How are you feeling, love?"

"Tired but emotionally charged," I say. "It's strange. My body is beginning to really feel our early morning but my mind is wired. Maybe you can help me settle my mind a little later." I suggestively run my fingertips down the front of his skintight t-shirt.

"I don't think that's going to happen," he says, capturing my hand and kissing each knuckle causing me to ache for him. "You told me you were sore. I won't hurt you just to satisfy some lust."

"Lust," I say under my breath. "We'll see about that." He smirks and shakes his head, ready to argue I'm sure but he wisely thinks twice about it because when I set my mind to something, I make sure it happens. Peanut pulls away from my chest with a yawn and won't latch back on so I give her to Tobias to burp while I fix my nursing bra and shirt. I can't help but smile when he puts her up to his chest and she lays her little head down on his shoulder. "I'm glad you're the father of my children. You're so good with our little Peanut." I think my words surprise him because he blushes slightly. I step up beside him and kiss his cheek then caress my fingers down his temple. "I love you, Tobias."

"I love you, too," he says. He gives me a swift, soft kiss then says, "Shall we go see Will?"

"Yeah," I say. I pick up the diaper bag and follow Tobias out into the hallway. We stop at Tori's door and find that she's still resting then make our way to room 102. He knocks on the door, opens it, and then peeks inside.

"Can we come in?" he quietly says. I don't hear a reply but he opens the door further, and we walk inside. When I see Will lying there in that bed awake relief floods me.

"Will!" I say, rushing to my friend and throwing my arms around him. He grimaces a little at my embrace so I immediately release him. "I'm sorry. Don't you _ever_ scare me like that again, William Drake. Do you hear me?"

"I'm really sorry, Tris. You, too, Four," he says bashfully. "I should have let you know when I got the call this morning telling me where Tori was, especially since I don't remember it anymore."

"What do you mean you don't remember it anymore?" Tobias asks.

"Dr. Parrish says it's a side effect of the injury," Christina says.

"That sounds familiar," Tobias mutters. "After I was attacked on the path last Christmas, I couldn't remember shit. I was lucky though. Within a couple days everything came back to me."

"Doc told us that my memories may or may not come back. Apparently either is perfectly common. It's frustrating though. I gave Simon and Tony details when I woke up that I have absolutely no memory of now. Memory loss sucks."

"Yes, it does," I say, remembering my dad and Tobias' head injuries. It was a very scary time for both of us. "What exactly do you remember?"

"I remember getting a phone call but I have no idea who it was from or what they told me. I only know that it told me where to find Tori because that's what I told the big fellas," he says. I notice that one pupil is wider than the other when I concentrate on his face. Poor Will. "I remember jumping on the train but I don't remember getting off. I remember walking along a gravel path but I have no idea where I was. I remember an uneasy feeling following me around. Lastly, I remember waking up here in the infirmary with my beautiful wife staring at me." Tobias, Christina, and I all look at him, dumbfounded. He remembered more just a few short hours ago. "Why are you all looking at me like I've lost my mind? Even you, Christy."

"Oh, Will," she says, trying to maintain her smile. "You need your rest. Why don't you close your eyes and rest? I'm going to go out into the waiting room and talk to Four and Tris a little more. You have 45 minutes before the nurse will wake you again." She leans over and gives him a lingering kiss then heads toward the door.

"Rest, Will," I say, kissing his cheek then I lower my voice. "I'm so glad you're going to be okay. I love you, Will."

"I love you, too, Tris," he says, his cheeks flushing. "I didn't mean to worry anyone. I wish I could remember what I was thinking. Maybe it would all make sense then."

"There's no need for you to come back to work until you're 100%, okay?" Tobias says as he puts his hand on his shoulder and squeezes. "Rest."

"Thanks, guys," he says. "Bye, Teagan."

"Bye, Will," Tobias and I say at the same time then follow Christina to the waiting room. The three of us sit in a dark, quiet corner.

"Would you like to hold Peanut?" I ask.

"Yes," she practically begs. "I'm missing Liam so much right now." Tobias carefully puts Peanut in her arms. "Thank you. Is there any news on Tori?" Tobias and I look at each other. Should we tell her what we know? I nod slightly and he smiles.

"Four and I think we figured out what the serum Molly is using does," I say. "Tori woke up." Her eyes light up until she recognizes the look on my face. "We think the serum was designed to kill using fear. She was terrified when she woke up … writhing, screaming, cussing, seeing things that weren't there. I have to say it was terrifying for us, too, to see her that way. I can't imagine what she was going through. After Zander sedated her, her vitals finally normalized. Our plan is to talk to her after he weens her off the sedatives. Hopefully she'll be lucid."

"That fucking whore!" she hisses. "When you catch her, give me a minute in a locked room alone with her. I'll tear the bitch limb from limb."

"Keep your voice down," Tobias says.

"Sorry, Four," she says but she doesn't calm down. I swear I see steam coming out of her ears. "I'm just so angry right now. She could have killed Will, taken my husband away from me, my son's father away from him. I'll never forgive her for this. Has Zeke looked at this morning's feeds from the Navy Pier?"

"I haven't checked in with him since first thing this morning," Tobias says. "But I will, soon. Hopefully, there's footage of exactly what transpired at the carrousel. With his memory the way it is right now, it might be the only chance of knowing exactly what happened and giving us the lead we need."

"I didn't want to say anything in front of him but I'm worried about his head injury," she says. "He seems to be forgetting more and more. It's probably a good thing that we have his account that he gave Simon and Tony. I hope he truly is going to be okay." She looks at the clock and sighs. "I should get back to him."

"Of course," I say. "Is there anything I can do for you before we head to the Pire?"

"No, but thank you for asking." We all stand up and Tobias takes Peanut from Christina. I wrap my arms around her in a big hug. "Thanks, Tris."

"If you need anything at all just let me know," I say, finally releasing her. "We'll keep you posted on Tori and the investigation."

"I would appreciate that," she says. "I've got to go. Bye."

"Take care," I say as Tobias says, "Bye." Peanut starts whining as we watch Christina walk away and my stomach growls.

"Would you like to eat in the cafeteria or pick something up and take it home?" he asks.

"As much as I would like to see our friends, let's grab a pizza or two and go home. I miss Tyler and Tessa. You better give her to me. She's going to want fed again before we get home." I take Peanut and press my lips to her forehead and she still seems warm. I situate her in the sling so that my hands are free then we head out into the bustling Pit. First we stop at the commissary for a few groceries then we stop at the pizza parlor and get two take and bake pies, one pepperoni and the other Canadian bacon and pineapple. Before we step back onto the noisy Pit floor, Tobias phones Avery and lets her know we're on our way home.

"Do you mind if I stop at my office before we head up to our apartment?" Tobias asks about half way up the path. "I'd like to get Tori's file and I also want to get everything we have on serums. I'll do some research while Tyler watches a movie or plays with his puzzles."

"I'm not sure that's such a good idea," I say.

"And why not?" he asks. "We have so much to do."

"I know we do and I want Molly caught just as much as you do but you've been working at home a lot lately," I say. "I've noticed it but that isn't what bothers me. Tyler's noticed also. I think that has a lot to do with his tantrum earlier. He misses his daddy."

"I work for our family, for Dauntless," he says, somewhat irritated.

"I'm not complaining. I'm only stating a fact. I think that once we get home, all work should be suspended for the evening and Tyler, Tessa, and Peanut should get our full attention. What do you say?"

"I understand what you're saying and I agree," he says.

"Good," I say. "I'm glad. I love you."

"I love you, too," he says. "I'll get the things I need from my office tomorrow. Let's get home."


	87. Chapter 87

I'm lying on our couch, listening to my family make a racket in the kitchen while the aroma of garlic, tomato, pepperoni, and Italian seasoning wafts throughout the apartment, making my stomach growl loudly. It feels like lunch was days instead of hours ago. Maybe I haven't been getting enough calories lately. It takes a lot out of me nursing two babies. I need to keep up my strength. Tobias insisted that I rest when we got home because I was practically sleepwalking up the path on our trip from the Pit to the Pire. I couldn't stop yawning and even bumped into his shoulder then bounced off his hard body, stumbled over my own feet, and nearly fell but now I'm wide awake. I think the thought of accidentally going over the edge of the path with my little Peanut in my arms woke me up. I tried arguing with him at first, telling him that she would want to be nursed as soon as we got home but she's still asleep so I gave in to his wishes.

Tyler and Tessa were both very happy to see us when we walked through the door. Tessa cooed and babbled then squealed and kicked excitedly when she saw me, and once again Tyler rushed to his daddy, thankful that he was home safe and sound. I think they've both been picking up on Dauntless' troubles and our increased stress. We asked Avery and Callen to stay for supper but they already made plans with some of their other friends so we decided to make only one pizza, and because he's had such a rough day, we let Tyler pick it out. I was secretly hoping for my favorite, the Canadian bacon and pineapple, but he wanted his old standby, pepperoni.

An extremely loud clap of thunder rumbles in the distance, and a flash of lightning illuminates the apartment. _Oh, no_! Our kids all have one thing in common, they are terrified of storms. I hear Tyler start whining at the exact same moment Tessa and Peanut burst into tears. I sit up on the couch, linger for a moment while getting my bearings then get up and go to Peanut's bassinet.

"There's no need to be scared, Peanut," I say as I pick up my now very wide awake baby girl. "Mommy's got you." I nestle her safely in my arms and head into the kitchen as the electricity goes out. Just before darkness envelopes us, I see Tobias picking Tessa up out of her booster chair.

"Oh, great," he mumbles.

"I'm right here," I say, letting him know that I'm close. "Why don't we go sit on the couch? Tyler, can you give Mommy your hand?"

"No. I want my daddy," he whines.

"I need to get some candles so we can see, buddy," Tobias says. "I need you to go with Mommy." I find his hand and lead him into the living room with Tobias on my heels. Flashes of lightning give us just enough light to get situated by. I sit down on the end of the couch and Tyler crawls up right beside me. He wraps his arms around mine, and I lean over and kiss his head. I can feel his whole body shaking with fear. _Poor little guy._ I shift Peanut to one arm, and Tobias sits Tessa on my lap. This is one of those times that an extra arm or two would come in handy. "Mommy's got all of you. There's absolutely nothing to be frightened of, okay?"

"You pwomise?" Tyler asks, his voice quivering.

"I promise, buddy," I say. I wish I could wrap my arms around him and give him some comfort but I'm afraid Peanut would dive head first on to the floor without my arm securely around her. While the four of us sit huddled closely on the couch, Tobias gets candles out of the pantry in the kitchen and lights them all over the first floor of our apartment. If it weren't for the whining, crying, sniffling, and tears, it would be a romantic setting.

"I know I promised you no work tonight, love, but I've got to check with maintenance and see when we can expect the lights to come back on and then I need to call Shauna to make sure there are no injuries."

"I understand," I say. And I do. I was on the Pit floor once when the compound lost power and even though I am not afraid of the dark, it was one of the most frightening experiences in my life. I couldn't see my hand in front of my face or the other hundred or so members surrounding me at the time. I'm still amazed no one fell into the chasm because of the blackness.

"No! Don't go," Tyler yells then really starts crying, misunderstanding what Tobias said.

"Hey, Daddy's not going anywhere," Tobias says. He tries to lift his bawling son but Tyler has a death grip on my arm so he instead takes Tessa, and I pull Tyler into my arms and hold him tightly, wanting to cry right along with him.

"Can Daddy sit on the couch next to us and make his calls?" I ask, signaling to Tobias that he needs to stay here with us and to Tyler that his father isn't going anywhere.

"Otay," Tyler mutters. Tobias pulls his phone out of his pocket and dials a number. Maintenance picks up immediately, and they have a brief conversation then he hangs up and calls Shauna.

"Hey, Shauna," he says. "Yeah, the weather sucks. I guess I've been concentrating on other things. I didn't even know a storm was coming … I'll keep this short. Have you had any reports of injuries … Good. Harry told me that his team should have the backup lighting for the Pit floor and chasm on momentarily so there shouldn't be any casualties but it will be anywhere from six to eight hours before power is restored to the entire compound … I understand and thanks Shauna. Hey wait, before you go. Tell your patrols to be especially cautious tonight. This would be a great time for Molly and her minions to sneak in and wreak havoc … That's right. Good night." He hangs up his phone then turns his attention to us. "Who's ready for pizza? It's a good thing it finished baking before the lights went off."

"I weady," Tyler says, although he doesn't loosen his grip on me.

"How about we have a pizza party in here?" I say. "We could all sit on the floor and eat pizza around the coffee table."

"That sounds like a great idea," Tobias says. He pulls Tessa's swing over beside me and puts our little one in it then turns the timer on. "Tyler, would you like to help me?"

"No. I stay with Mommy," he says, pouting.

"Okay," Tobias says as he goes into the kitchen.

"Can you get up for a second? Mommy needs to get down on the floor then you can sit on my lap again."

"Otay," he says. He lets go of me, gets down, I slip to the floor, and then I pull him back onto my lap.

"Why didn't you want to help Daddy in the kitchen? He loves it when you help him," I quietly say. He shrugs his shoulders at me and buries his head in my chest. "I know you've been missing him and that's okay. He doesn't mean to work so much, buddy. He would much rather spend his time with you, your sisters, and me but Dauntless _really_ needs him right now, especially with Mr. Harrison gone and Miss Tori and Uncle Will sick, and with Mommy not able to work fulltime because of Teagan, that leaves Daddy to take care of all Dauntless business by himself. I know you miss him when he's gone. I do too but please don't be mad at him. That will make him feel worse than he already does about leaving and you don't want him feeling bad, do you?"

"No," he says. "I miss him. Sometimes I go to bed and he not hewe."

"I bet it's felt like that a lot lately," I say. "It'll change soon." _It has to change soon._ A few minutes later, Tobias comes back into the living room carrying a pizza stone in one hand and three plates in the other and sets them on the coffee table right in front of us.

"Would you guys like something to drink?" he asks, somewhat subdued.

"I would like some water," I say. "Tyler, would you like some milk?"

"Peas," he says.

"Two waters and a milk coming right up," he says, turning to go back into the kitchen. Almost immediately he comes back with two bottles and a sippy cup then sits down on the other side of me.

"This fun," Tyler says as he kneels behind the coffee table eating his second slice of pepperoni pizza. After his first slice, he got off my lap and inched closer to Tobias. Since there has been no thunder or lightning for the past half hour or so the kids have all settled down, and he's right, this is fun.

"We should do this more often," Tobias says. "It's kind of like a picnic, huh, buddy?"

"Yeah! But I no want wain next time," he says.

"I'll see what I can do about that," he says with a chuckle. As I'm finishing my second slice, Peanut wakes back up and becomes fussy.

"Are you finally awake? You sure did sleep for a long time. Are you hungry?" I look toward the clock and see that it's been over three hours since she last nursed. I get up and sit on the couch then put her to my breast, and she stops fussing immediately.

"Teags hungwy?" Tyler asks around a mouthful of pizza. "Hew want pizza."

"No, Teags is too little for pizza," Tobias says, a smile on his face. We both love the nickname he's come up with for Teagan.

"What about Tess?" We all look over at his other sister who is contentedly sitting in her swing chewing on her butterfly

"Aahh. Ma ma ma ma. Bbbbbbbbb," Tessa babbles at the sound of her name then she sticks her tongue out and starts making noises she's never made before. "Pppbbbbbttt!

"See! Hew want pizza, too!"

"No, she's still too little, too. But one day soon she'll be eating just as much pizza as you," Tobias says as he tweaks Tyler's nose.

"Weally?" he says as his eyes widen.

"Really," he says. "Would you like another slice of pizza or would you rather have a sundae after bit?"

"Um," Tyler says, his face scrunched in deep concentration. It looks like he's making a life or death decision.

"I want ice cweam cause it yummy."

"Alright," Tobias says with a chuckle. "Love, would you like another slice?"

"Please," I say. He puts the last slice of pepperoni on my plate then gets up to take the dirty dishes to the kitchen.

"Can I help?" Tyler asks. Tobias looks down at him and I see candle flames reflecting in his moist eyes.

"Of course you can, buddy," he says, emotion thick in his voice. "Come on." Tyler gets up, and Tobias hands him the empty plates then he follows his father into the kitchen.

"You don't know how happy that makes me, Teags," I say, trying out Tyler's nickname for her. She releases my nipple and smiles up at me. "Do you like that name? Does it make you happy?" She smiles again. "No matter what we call you, you'll always be my precious little peanut." Another crack of thunder hits and the panes rattle right before a flash of lightning lights the room for a couple seconds. Heavy rain pelts the windows, the wind howls, and our calm house erupts. _It's going to be another long night_. I put Peanut on the couch while taking Tessa out of the swing, causing her to get louder. I cuddle my little one close then manage to pick Peanut back up and get her latched back on.

"Is everything alright in here?" Tobias asks as he comes back into the room with a sniffling Tyler clinging to his neck.

"We're good," I say. He kneels before the fireplace and opens the access panel to check the pilot light. It must be on because he stands up and flips the switch on the mantle and a fire roars to life. He extinguishes the candles on the mantle causing a burnt sulfur smell to drift throughout the room then sits down beside me. "Look at the fire, Tyler." I try to get his mind off the storm when I see how tightly he is gripping Tobias' neck. He loosens his grip and turns his head a little. His eyes light up as he takes in the first fire in our fireplace. I can't wait to hang the kids' Christmas stockings from the mantle.

"Pwetty," he says, mesmerized by the dancing flames. Tessa starts rooting toward my chest, and I'm only partially surprised that she's hungry. She nurses more when she's nervous. I've become quite adept at feeding them at the same time over the past month so she easily latches on. I listen to the wind and rain as we sit huddled up as a family on the couch. Peanut soon slows then stops and I manage to get her up to my shoulder to burp her.

"Do you want me to take Peanut?" Tobias asks after she burps.

"Please. I need to burp Tessa, and it's a lot easier with two hands," I say. By this time, Tyler has let go of his neck and is sitting in his lap facing me. Tobias reaches over and carefully lifts Peanut out of my arms as not to wake her. I put Tessa up against my shoulder and pat her back. She lifts her head and looks all around. When lightning flashes in the distance, she whines lowly in my ear. "Ssh! It's just lightning, little one. Mommy's got you."

"Would you like me to tell you a story, buddy?" Tobias asks when Tyler starts whining.

"Yeah," he pouts.

"Once upon a time in a land far, far away there was a realm made up of five different kingdoms. There was the honest kingdom known as Candor, the peaceful kingdom known as Amity, the intelligent kingdom known as Erudite, the selfless kingdom known as Abnegation, and the fearless kingdom known as Dauntless," Tobias says. Tyler's eyes light up as he hangs on every word. "In the smallest kingdom by far, the selfless one, lived a very handsome prince." I raise my eyes to his, and he grins but it slowly fades as he continues the story. "The prince lived with his father, the evil king. It didn't matter what the prince did, he couldn't make the king happy.

"Once a year, the kingdoms send all their 16 year olds to the center of the realm, the royal court, to choose which kingdom they want to spend the rest of their lives in. Most Abnegation stay in their kingdom forever, never to experience the outside world but the prince longed for a different life, one away from the rule of the heartless king. So when it was his turn to choose he decided to be brave, and he chose to leave all that he had ever known and joined the fearless kingdom, Dauntless. After a rocky start in his new life, the prince found out that he was good at pretending to be brave but he never fully embraced his new life.

"The prince had the freedom he so longed for growing up under the watchful eye of the merciless king and the independence to do what he pleased when he pleased but he was very lonely. Yes, he had lots of good friends but he felt incomplete. He looked for that special someone amongst the maidens of his new territory but none were special enough to capture his attention. Soon he considered leaving his new kingdom to travel amongst the people of the realm who didn't call any of the kingdoms home because he never thought he would find true happiness let alone his one true love. But the prince waited and waited until he didn't think he could wait anymore until finally one day a flaxen-haired beauty, one who was unbelievably born in his old kingdom, the kingdom of Abnegation, fell into his life and straight into his heart.

"The prince knew the moment her took the princesses hand and asked her name that they would be together forever and by some miraculous twist of fate, the princess felt the exact same way about him. The prince and princess fell deeply in love while getting to know each other. The prince loved everything about his fair princess. She was kind, generous, loving, and thoughtful but her rarest gift was she didn't know that she was beautiful, which increased her beauty in the eyes of the prince. But what the prince loved most about the princess is how she made him feel. He no longer felt alone. He found the other half of his heart. He fully embraced his new life in the new kingdom, and no longer had thoughts of running away.

"One day when the prince knew that he couldn't ever live without his princess he got down on one knee and presented to his one true love a big diamond ring and asked her to be his wife. The princess pulled her prince into her arms and accepted his proposal with a soft kiss. After a short engagement, the prince and princess got married in front of all their friends and family. And they…"

"And they're living happily ever after," I say, cutting him off.

"Yes, they are," he says. We lean over Tyler's head and give each other a soft, love-filled kiss and after we part he says, "And that, my precious boy, is the story of how your daddy met your mommy." Tyler's mouth pops open.

"You a pwince?" he asks, amazed at the thought. "Mommy a pwincess?"

"She is in my eyes," he says very sweetly. God, how I love this man in front of me.

"Tell stowy of me an' Tess an' Teags."

"How about we save that one for another night?" he asks. "I promised someone an ice cream sundae."

"You pwomise me!" he excitedly says.

"Is that who I promised?" Tobias says, rubbing his stubble-covered chin, feigning confusion. "I couldn't remember. I thought maybe it was Peanut."

"No! Hew too little for ice cweam."

"You're very right about that," he says. "You stay here with Mommy. I'll go make us some sundaes." He gets up off the couch and puts Peanut in her bassinet then disappears into the kitchen.

"Mommy?" Tyler asks.

"Yes?"

"You know stowy 'bout you?"

"I thought it might be," I say. "Why?" He shrugs his shoulders. "Did you like the story?"

"Yeah!" he says, enthusiastically nodding his head up and down.

"I liked it, too," I say.

"It be bettew with dwagons," he says. Dragons?

"Dragons, huh?" My mind automatically goes to Evelyn, Marcus, Peter, and everyone else who has tried to hurt us in the past year. "There were dragons. Daddy just left them out because he didn't want to scare you."

"I not scawed," he says. "I big boy!"

"Yep, you're Mommy's big boy and I love you very much."

"I love you very much, too," Tobias says as he comes into the room holding three sundae dishes.

"I love you," Tyler says to both of us.

"Here you go. One scoop of sweat cream ice cream, hot fudge, crushed chocolate cookies, whipped cream, and a cherry on top."

"Thanks!" Tyler says as he kneels behind the coffee table. He picks up the spoon and digs in. I look down at Tessa when she stops nursing and find her sound asleep with her mouth wide open. She looks just like Tobias when he's deep in sleep. I put her up to my shoulder and gently pat her back. She burps loudly, wakes up for a moment and laughs, and then lays her head on my shoulder and falls back to sleep. I roll my eyes at her. She's going to be hell on wheels when she gets older. After I fix my shirt, I start my sundae.

"This is really good," I say, putting another spoonful in my mouth. "Thanks."

"You're welcome, love," Tobias says. Tyler pushes his empty dish away then crawls up onto the couch between us. He puts his head in my lap and his legs in his father's. Within minutes he's asleep. We don't say anything for the longest time. We sit watching the fire, enjoying the peace and quiet. I haven't felt this calm for quite a while, probably because we know where Tori and Will are. I wish they weren't in the infirmary but at least they aren't in the morgue.

"Do you think we should chance taking these two upstairs and putting them to bed?" I ask when I don't think it will wake them up if they move.

"Sure," he says. He very easily picks Tyler up who looks like a limp rag doll in his arms. I get up, trying not to jostle Tessa and check on Peanut. She's sleeping peacefully so I follow Tobias upstairs and into Tyler's room. He gets him into his dinosaur PJs without waking him then we tuck him in.

"What are we going to do about a nightlight?" I whisper. "He would freak if he woke up and it was pitch black in here but we can't leave candles unattended in his room."

"I have an idea," Tobias says. He unplugs Tyler's nightlight and holds it close to the candle so he can see. He turns it upside down and slides a switch causing a familiar soft glow to illuminate the room. "It switches from electricity to full battery. Hopefully, it will last the night."

"Good thinking," I say as he sets it on his desk. "I forgot about that."

"Why don't you put Tessa to bed, and I'll go downstairs with Peanut."

"Okay," I say. I give him a quick kiss then head toward the nursery. I carefully lie Tessa on the changing table and take her little outfit off. I change her into a dry diaper then choose a warm sleeper for what could be a cool night if the power doesn't come back on until morning. I kiss her head then put her in her crib. Before I head downstairs, I make sure the monitor is operational then grab its mate off my bedside table. After I use the bathroom, I head downstairs. When I turn the corner and walk back into the living room I find Tobias standing at the wall of windows. The flashes of lightning in the distance illuminate him with a soft glow, stopping me in my tracks. He's holding Peanut against his chest, patting her back and gently swaying as he gazes off in the distance. I wonder what he's thinking about. I softly pad up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist and hug him tightly.

"Do you mind if I make a few calls?" he asks.

"Of course not," I say. "I'm anxious for an update on Will and Tori's conditions." I release him and he turns and I take Peanut from him. She's awake but not fussy. "Are you feeling better?" I press my lips to her forehead as I walk to the couch and sit down. Unfortunately, she's still warm. I lay her in my lap and check her diaper but it's dry. Tobias must have changed her. I watch as he gets his phone out. I nearly get dizzy as I watch him pace back and forth in front of me as he first talks to Zeke then Shauna and finally Zander. Even though I only get his half of the conversation, I learn that the cameras at the Navy Pier were hacked and all the footage from this morning was erased, Tori's still sedated and there's been no change in her condition, Will's vitals continue to improve but his memory loss hasn't changed, and the guards charged with tailing Molly, Drew, and Olivia lost them this morning when they jumped on multiple trains.

"How's Peanut?" Tobias asks after he hangs his phone up. She got hungry when he was talking to Zander so she's nursing now.

"She still doesn't feel well," I say. "Not only is she feverish but I can tell when I look in her eyes. I wish I could take it away from her. I don't want her to be sick or in pain."

"I know you don't. I don't either," he says. "That's what makes you a good mom. You care."

"That's my job," I say. "And when they don't feel well a part of me thinks I'm failing."

"I think it's natural to feel that way but you know it's not your fault," he says. "Kids get sick." He slides closer to me and puts his arm around me. I lean into his side and put my head on his shoulder. He kisses the top of my head.

"Tell me about your phone calls," I say. "Did I hear correctly? Did Lauren hack into the cameras and erase the footage from the Navy Pier this morning?"

"We have no evidence that it was her," he says. "Zeke knows how good Callen is with computers so tomorrow morning he's going to ask him to look and see if he can retrieve any of the data."

"Do you think he can do that?" I ask.

"Since the surveillance footage is stored on our servers there's a chance, although only a small one," he says. "If new data overwrites the deleted information, then it's lost forever and since Lauren knows what she's doing more than likely she overwrote the info several times."

"Did Zander say anything about the DNA tests?" I ask.

"No," he says. "I can't believe I forgot to ask him. I'll talk to him in the morning about it."

"That was quite a story you told Tyler, my handsome prince," I say and he smiles warmly at me.

"I had to do something to get his mind off the storm," he says. "I kid you not, he leapt six feet into my arms then tried to strangle me to death when he heard that last clap of thunder we had."

"I understand," I say. "One second I had two very content babies and the next they were having a meltdown. I liked the story. It was sweet."

"I thought about just telling him our boring old story," he says, a twinkle in his eyes.

"Yeah, boring," I say, rolling my eyes at him before I move our infant daughter to my shoulder. Our life has been anything but boring.

"I thought making it into a fairytale would keep his attention longer, and I think it worked."

"It think it did, too," I say. "Of course, now he expects a story about Prince Tyler, Princess Tessa, and Princess Teagan."

"And he'll get it one day," he says. "The kids are all asleep, love. How about a bath?"

"That would be nice," I say.

"You put Teagan to bed and I'll run our bath," he says.

" _Our_ bath?" I ask, desire suddenly replacing the fatigue.

"Yes. _Ours_."

"That sounds even better," I say. We get up and extinguish all the candles. Before we go upstairs, he switches the fireplace off. "I loved the fire and the candles. It was romantic."

"Except for the three screaming kids," he says as he leads me in the dark through the living room and kitchen, up the stairs, and into our bedroom.

"Yeah! Except for the three screaming kids," I repeat. "Oh! I left the baby monitor receiver downstairs. I'll go get it."

"No, I'll go get it," he says. "You get Peanut ready for bed." He kisses my forehead and goes back into the darkness. I head into the nursery and get Teagan ready for bed. I change her dirty diaper then put her in a clean, dry, lighter weight flannel sleeper gown but just as I'm putting her in the crib she wakes and starts fussing. I sit in the rocker in the corner and gently rock back and forth trying to get her to go back to sleep. I know she can't be hungry because I just finished feeding her less than half an hour ago so something must have startled her. I put her to my shoulder and rub her back as we rock, and she starts to settle down. The feeling of being lifted startles me and I gasp.

"It's alright, love," Tobias says.

"What's going on?" I ask, sleep thick in my voice. _Am I asleep_?

"You fell asleep rocking Peanut," he quietly says.

"Our bath?"

"I'm putting you to bed," he says. I can hear humor in his voice but I have no idea why. "We can take a bath another time. You're exhausted and the truth is, so am I."

"Okay," I say, my words slurring.

"Goodnight, love," he says as he gently lays me on our bed then slides in beside me.

"Mm-hm," I mutter. I think I fell back to sleep before my head hit the pillow.


	88. Chapter 88

I stretch then roll over, hoping to catch a few more minutes of sleep before I have to get up and face the day, which is sure to be a long one. Peanut had me up every two hours last night. She's still feverish and quite cranky. Tessa even woke up around 3 a.m. for the first time in a long time to nurse so I imagine I'll be sleepwalking through yet another day.

Tobias must sense that I'm waking because he moves closer and presses his lips to the sensitive spot beneath my left ear, causing a shiver to run down my spine. As he kisses my neck, his hand glides its way down my body and sneaks under my sleep shirt, which is one of his old t-shirts and up to cover my breast. He gently kneads the full mound while he continues kissing my neck. I gasp when he pinches my aching nipple then rolls it between his thumb and fingers. I turn my head, seeking his lips, and he doesn't disappoint. Our mouths meet in a hungry kiss, our tongues tasting each other. I mold myself to him, wanting him inside me right now. He drags his lips from mine and moves his mouth back to my neck while we grope each other.

"Do you want to?" he breathlessly asks against my ear, his voice gravelly and seductive. _Like I have a choice._ I'm a slave to his touch but I can't help teasing. It isn't every morning he wakes up wanting sex. It's usually me.

"Want to what?" I ask in a surprisingly normal voice. His head snaps back, and he stares down at me like I've just grown a second head. I do my damnedest to keep a straight face but I can't help the giggles that escape my lips.

"You little minx," he says. "Do you want to have sex?"

"Hhm," I say, acting like I'm not already aching terribly for him. "What if I'm not in the mood?"

"I have ways of putting you in the mood," he says.

"And how do you intend to do that?" I ask, running my fingertips down his cheek as my thumb sweeps across his full bottom lip.

"I have a few tricks up my sleeves," he says as he rolls over on top of me, giving me his weight. I toss my head back, exposing my neck to him, and he glides his tongue from my collarbone up to nibble on my chin.

"But you're not wearing a shirt," I pant.

"What?" he asks, genuinely confused but his mouth never leaves my body.

"You said you have a few tricks up your sleeves but you don't have a shirt on," I roughly say, my heavy breathing betraying my arousal. I feel his lips curl into a smile against the base of my neck.

"You … are … in … rare … form … this … morning … love," he says, placing kisses here and there – my cheeks, eyes, temple, shoulders, neck, jaw – in between words. "I … like … it." He suddenly rolls us, our feet getting tangled in the quilt, and we both kick until we are free and lying on only our wrinkled white sheets. He pulls my mouth to his and gives me a hungry kiss. He thrusts his tongue though my parted lips and touches mine. The intimate contact sets off a profound throbbing need deep inside, and I sit back, straddling his hips, and rip his t-shirt off over my head, needing to feel his bare skin on mine. He sits up and again our lips are moving in synchronization and our tongues are dueling for dominance. He flips us so that, once more, I'm beneath his magnificent body. While he drops kisses on my neck, I explore his familiar male form with my inquisitive hands. I feel his rippled muscles harden then relax under my gentle touch. I moan when his hot, moist, talented mouth finds my aching breast and grasp the back of his head with one hand and twist the sheets with the other. He captures the peaked nipple between his lips and sucks it further into his tantalizing mouth. He rakes his teeth over the hardened bud causing a low, lustful groan to rattle in my chest.

"Feels good," I moan then I draw in an agonized breath. As he sucks, licks, and nibbles on the throbbing bud, his fingers pinch, probe, and tease the other nipple into a hard little tip. "Aahh!" I sigh when he drags his lips down the swell of one breast, across my heaving chest, and up the other breast to taste the aching bud with his pliant tongue. He lingers at my breasts until they are well worshiped and I'm writhing beneath him, a thin sheet of sweat covering me from head to toe. He kisses his way down to my naval then French kisses it. I would give anything to grip my thighs together tightly to control the throbbing desire that's threatening to drive me mad but he's lying between them, keeping them widely spread. He kisses my red, jagged scar then kisses my most intimate area, no pretense, no teasing. "Oh, God!" He darts his tongue out and with just the ghost of a touch laps at my pulsating nubbin. I'm so turned on that I doubt I will last long. I'm right. My body stiffens then trembles before I shatter into a million pieces.

"That was quick," he says as I come down from my high.

"I want you inside me," I plead. "Now, baby, please!" He kisses the inside of my thigh then raises his eyes to mine. I silently beg for him to fill the aching void and he does, just not in the way I truly want.

"I'm not done with you," he says as he gently eases his middle finger into my heated center. "You came so fast, I didn't get my fill … but I will." He continues kissing my legs, stomach, and hips as his long finger unhurriedly moves in and out of my sex. My breath comes in short, harsh gasps as my body starts climbing again. He soon adds a second finger and marginally increases the leisurely pace then dips his head and captures my aching bundle of nerves between his lips. He sucks it greedily, causing me to arch off the bed and whimper at the intense feeling but it does nothing to deter him. He lashes my nubbin again and again with just the tip of his tongue as he increases the tempo of his hand, and my hips arch toward his exploring fingers.

"Oh, shit," I pant as he pushes me closer to bliss. "Oh, God! _Tobias!_ " My body bucks against his probing digits as I slip over the edge. I still, holding my breath as my body quivers and quakes through its release. I gasp much-needed air into my burning lungs as he kisses his way back up my body until he captures my mouth with his, and I once again become breathless. He pulls his mouth from mine and looks down at me, his look severe.

"So, love, do you want to have sex?" he asks, his face reading complete seriousness before his eyes start twinkling and a sexy smile lights his face. He'll pay for that.

"Oh, I had two orgasms," I say, desperately trying to control my breathing. "I think I'm good." His mouth falls open, and he looks like he's about to pout when he sees something in my face that betrays me and he smirks. His lips forcefully crash into mine but I don't mind. He quickly tears them away and rolls off of me. I'm about to ask what he's doing when he lifts his hips and slides his sleep pants down. The sight of his virile masculinity takes my breath away, and I can't help myself. I pounce. I help him discard the garment and waste no time. I bend over and take him in my mouth, causing him to gasp. I suck on the tip gently, running my tongue along the sensitive underside.

"Shit, Tris," he moans. I take him further into my eager mouth, never stilling my lips, tongue, or hands and he fists his fingers into my hair. He soon is bucking his hips, sliding even further into my mouth, repeatedly hitting the back of my throat. I moan and he says another expletive. "Stop, love. I want to be inside you." He drags me up his body and rolls us over. I expect him to slam into my body, this need we're feeling overwhelming us both, but he surprises me by taking his time, sliding in an inch at a time. He stills when we're completely joined and runs his fingers into my hair and stares into my eyes, a look of deep love and desire on his face.

"I love you," I whisper, my voice full of need.

"I love you, too," he huskily says. "This mouth is wonderful and I love what it was doing a couple seconds ago," he places a soft kiss on my lips, "but I didn't want to come in your mouth. I want to feel you moving beneath me, with me. I want to feel you squeezing me as you come." I clench at his words and he moans. "Damn, just like that. Are you ready? You're not hurting are you?" He's always looking out for me.

"Make love to me, baby," I moan. He gives me a tender kiss then starts to move. He sets a slow, steady pace at first, never letting his lips leave mine. I cling to his frame, grasping his back tightly as I lift my hips upward as he lightly grinds his body into mine. I feel the stirring of another incredible release as he increases the tempo and pushes into me harder, his strokes long and measured. I wrap my legs around his waist, taking him deeply inside my body, and he delves deeper still with each rhythmic push. He kisses me passionately before raising up on his arms and slamming into me with a frenzy. What started out as a solitary spark has now grown into a raging four-alarm fire, blazing through my sweat drenched body. I grip him tighter with my legs as my insides quiver around his invading length. His strokes shorten as he pounds into me with a frenzied fervor. I move restlessly beneath him, pressing my hips frantically into his and then I let go. The explosion is violent, tumultuous, powerful, consuming. I feel it in every fiber of my being. As I continue to writhe beneath him, he impossibly increases his pace seeking his own release. When I hear him call out my name, I feel him explode in my depths again and again. He thrusts twice more then stills before collapsing on top of me. The only sound in the room is our heavy breathing. After a bit, he takes some of his weight off me by raising up on his forearms but he doesn't pull out of me.

"You are amazing, love," he says. "That was…"

"Spectacular, wonderful, hot, amazing," I say. His look turns from playful to sincere. I clench around his softening length, and he closes his eyes and moans.

"I love you, Mrs. Eaton," he says. "Don't ever leave me." I gasp.

"What makes you say that?" I ask.

"I had a dream last night. Well, a nightmare is more like it. I'm surprised you didn't hear me," he says. I did. "You left me. You took our kids and you left me. I looked everywhere but I couldn't find you." I lean up and kiss the worry line between his brows. "When I woke up I was so thankful it was a dream."

"Is that why you attacked me?" I ask, wanting to lighten his suddenly sullen mood. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining … not at all … but we don't have sex in the morning very often. We should make it a daily habit. I like being woken up this way … your mouth, your hands, _your_ _body_." A smile spreads across his face, and I hope he's forgotten his unfounded fears. I would never leave no matter how hard things got. I look over his shoulder and see that our door is standing wide open.

"What's wrong?" he asks as he looks toward what caught my attention. "Oh, we forgot to close the door." And lock it. We're tempting fate. Being caught by our son once was more than enough.

"I hope we didn't wake Tyler up," I say. "We were both kind of loud."

"I think we were enjoying ourselves," he says. He's right but I suddenly have a strong desire to have something covering my bareness.

"Can you get the quilt?" He lowers his mouth to mine for a slow, lingering, tender kiss. After he pulls away, he unwraps my legs from around his waist and pulls out of me, causing a sadness of my own to bloom in my chest. _Why did I have to ask him to move?_ He rolls off of me then grabs the quilt off the floor. I look at the clock as he drapes the quilt over my body then he climbs back into bed beside me. We have time before the kids wake up. I cuddle up into his side, put my leg up and over his, tangling them together, and then rest my head on his chest. He puts his arm around me and pulls me close then I feel his lips in my hair.

"How are you feeling, love?" he asks. "You told me you were sore yesterday. I was rougher today." There's a certain melancholy to his tone. He's always worrying but I can't lie to him.

"I'm going to tell you the truth because I know you don't like it when I sugarcoat it," I say. "I'm still a little sore but it's nothing I can't handle. My body went through a huge change, Tobias."

"You shouldn't be in pain," he sighs.

"I wouldn't call it pain," I say trying to figure out how to describe it. "It's a throbbing ache and, like I said, it's nothing I can't handle; however, if it continues, I'll talk to Isobel about it. I see her in a week for birth control."

"I can live with that compromise," he says. I smile brightly at him. "God, you are so beautiful."

"Thank you," I say. I can't help but believe him because of the awed look in his eyes. "You're not half bad yourself." I feel his lips in my hair again so I plant a kiss on his chest. "So, what's on the agenda for today?" He pauses for a moment.

"I think you should stay home and take care of Peanut and Tessa today," he says. "Obviously, Peanut doesn't feel well. She was up, what, every two hours last night? And was it my imagination or did I hear Tessa, too, in the middle of the night?"

"You're right on both counts," I say, drawing little hearts on his abs. "But I think Tessa's just sensing our stress. I don't _think_ she's sick." I turn my head and look him in the eyes. "I would feel guilty staying home. You need all the help you can get right now. Harrison's gone. We don't know how long Will's recuperation will take, and who knows if Tori will ever be the same again after what those monsters gave her. She might not be able to continue with her duties. I know Zeke and Shauna have stepped up to fill in but are they enough? You need me."

"You're right, Tris, I need all the help I can get, and I do need you. You make things so much easier just by being there," he says. Why do I think there's a but coming? "It hasn't been easy around here since before initiation started, and things seem to get harder every single day. We really need to replace Harrison but I don't want to make a unilateral decision. I guess we should have sat down as a team before Tori went missing and made that decision together." He sighs and mutters something under his breath that sounds like hind sight is 20/20. "Now there are so many unanswered questions about who we can and cannot trust that I honestly don't know who to even consider for the position. But our daughter is sick, and she needs you." Ah, there's the but. "I would stay with her if I could but I can't feed her. I know that we could take her with us like we did yesterday but she needs to rest, not be carted all over Dauntless. Please don't think I'm ordering you around or wanting to exclude you because I'm not."

"I think I owe you an apology," I say. He furrows his brows in confusion. "I said some things while I was extremely hormonal that I can't take back and now every time you'd like me to do something you think you have to justify your actions. I never should have put you in that position. I'm sorry. I'll stay with the girls, and if you need me for anything, you know where to find me. Plus it will give you some much-needed one-on-one time with your son."

"I need to plan father-son activities for us," he says. "I think we would both benefit from it."

"I need to do the same thing with him and each of the girls when they are older. Tessa already has a jealous streak when it comes to her sister. I don't want it to get worse." Fussing draws my attention from Tobias, and I look at the clock. "Two hours on the dot." I give him a soft kiss then slip out of bed and slide into my silk robe. I pad into the nursery and pick Peanut up. I change her into a dry diaper then fish the thermometer out of the drawer and put it up to her ear after sterilizing it with an alcohol swab. It's higher than it was yesterday but holding steady from the last time I took it. "My poor baby. I wish you were feeling better." I give her the antibiotic then sit in the rocker and put her to my breast. After a lot of coaxing, she starts to nurse but she just doesn't seem like herself.

"How is she?" Tobias asks from the doorway. Desire spears through me at the sight of him. He's freshly showered, a towel wrapped snuggly around his hips accentuating the bulge between his legs. I let my eyes wander freely over his sculpted body, and my mouth goes dry. "Earth to Tris." I raise my eyes to his, and he's wearing a smirk. "See something you like?"

"Mm-hm," I say and he chuckles lowly. "How's Peanut?" At the mention of our daughter, my head clears.

"She's just not herself. I'm really worried. If this dose of antibiotic doesn't help, I'm going to take her to see Zander again and have her really checked out. He might have missed something," I say. "Her temperature is higher than it was yesterday, and she's having trouble nursing." He comes over and runs his hand over her head.

"She'll be fine," he says.

"I hope you're right," I say.

"I'll get dressed then check on Tyler," he says. He kisses the top of my head then heads out into the bedroom. I look down at my daughter and my chest tightens.

"I'm so sorry you're not feeling well, baby girl," I say. She lifts her eyes to mine, and she looks miserable. "You and sissy are going to stay home with Mommy today. Hopefully, the antibiotic kicks in and we don't have to make a trip to the infirmary." When Tessa hears me talking, she rolls over and starts babbling. "Hi, little one. How are you this morning?"

"I fine," Tyler says as he comes walking into the room followed by his father. "I wanna say hi."

"Did you sleep well?" I ask him.

"Yeah," he says. He goes to Tessa's crib and looks at her through the slats. It's like they're talking to each other through an old fashioned western jail door. She laughs at whatever he's doing, and Peanut frowns deeply but at exactly what I don't know.

"Can you give Tessa a bottle this morning?" I ask. "I'm a little light this morning." I raise an eyebrow accusingly.

"I wonder how that happened?" he jokes as he picks Tessa up out of her crib. "Pebbles, you need a new diaper."

"Hew 'tink," Tyler says, wrinkling his nose.

"I think I can smell her over here," I chuckle. _Better him than me._ I always get the dirty diapers. My girls are both getting baths after Tobias and Tyler leave. Maybe a bath is just what Peanut needs.

"Tyler, would you like to have breakfast with me in the cafeteria?" Tobias asks.

"Yeah! I have toast," he says. I can't help but chuckle. He gets so excited over the little things. I love seeing the world through his eyes. "Mommy, Tess, and Teags come, too?"

"Teagan isn't feeling well so Mommy and Tessa are staying home with her today," he says. "You're coming with me to breakfast then to daycare." Tyler's bottom lip juts out then he lowers his eyes to the floor. _Uh oh!_ What's this about? My eyes meet Tobias', and I imagine we're both wearing the same expression. "What's wrong, buddy?"

"Can't I stay with Mommy, too?" he asks, his voice hopeful. Oh, my boy. As much as I would love to say yes, there's no way I can keep an eye on him with the girls needing so much extra attention right now.

"Not today, Tyler," I say and his face falls. "Mommy had a _really_ long night last night. Teagan is sick and Tessa might be coming down with something, and they both had me up most of the night. When the babies are sleeping, Mommy's going to sleep, too. Then who would watch you?"

"I play in my woom."

"You're going to daycare," Tobias sternly says then his voice softens. "Zane will be there. You haven't seen him in a couple days. You guys can play all day with Elliott, Mia, and Emma. You'll like that and you know it."

"Otay," he says but his spark is gone. I want to drag him into my arms and comfort him but I need to be strong. He can't always get his own way, and he needs to learn that now.

"Do you want to help me feed Tessa?" Tobias asks and his eyes light marginally.

"Otay," he says.

"After she's done, we'll go to breakfast. Tell Mommy we'll see her later."

"See you latew," he says. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I say. "To the moon and back."

"Moon back." He grins from ear to ear. God, how I love that smile. Tobias waves Tessa's little hand at me, and I blow them a kiss before they turn and walk out of the room. Peanut takes her time nursing, and I have to keep waking her up. Poor little thing can't keep her eyes open. I finally pull her from my breast to burp a final time but she never does. I put her back in her crib, grab the monitor, and head into the bathroom for a quick shower. I'm in-and-out in less than five minutes. If there was a competition for the most efficient shower, I'm sure I would win hands down. I forgo makeup and just run a wide-toothed comb through my wet hair since I'm just hanging around the house today. I gently lift Peanut out of her crib being extra careful not to wake her then search out the rest of my family downstairs. Tyler is sitting on the end of the couch with Tessa laying across his lap with her head propped up on a couple pillows. He's holding her bottle as she eats. Tobias is sitting on the floor in front of them with his back to me. His hands are out in front of him, ready to catch her if she falls. I softly pad to the bassinet and carefully lay Peanut down then quietly lower myself into the club chair and tuck my legs beneath me.

"Look! I feed Tess," Tyler excitedly says when he sees me. I think his earlier bad mood is gone or at least I hope it is.

"I see that, buddy," I say. "You're doing such a good job. You're the best big brother." When Tessa hears my voice, she tries rolling over to see me but Tobias stops her efforts and gets the bottle back in her mouth. For now she's more interested in getting her tummy full than seeing me. I carefully get up and head into the kitchen so she doesn't get distracted. I start the coffee machine then open the refrigerator door to see what I can fix myself. When I see the carton of blueberry yogurt, I check the pantry to see if we have any granola left. I actually feel giddy when I find the glass jar of homemade cereal we bought at the farmers market before Peanut was born. This is one of my favorite quick breakfasts. Sometimes I have it as a bedtime snack, it's that good. I fill a bowl halfway with cereal then spoon some yogurt on top and pour myself a cup of coffee then sit at the island. After I finish, I put my dirty dishes in the dishwasher then check on everyone. Tobias has Tessa and is burping her while Tyler tries to make her laugh. She seems to be in good spirits this morning. Hopefully it lasts. "You guys better go before all the good stuff is gone in the cafeteria." Tyler gets up and runs into my arms. I pick him up and give him a big hug, which he reciprocates.

"I love you," he says then gives me a big sloppy kiss while hanging tightly onto my neck.

"I love you," I say. "You be a good boy today. Have fun with Daddy."

"I will!" he says but then he frowns. "But I miss you."

"I'll miss you, too," I say. "But we'll see each other soon. Give me another kiss." He puckers up for another kiss then I set him on his feet. Tobias puts Tessa in my arms then leans in for a tender kiss.

"Thanks for a wonderful morning," he says against my ear. "I needed that. _We_ needed that."

"I should thank you," I whisper. "You're the one who attacked me, remember?" I giggle and he rolls his eyes. "I'll call Mom, Dad, and Caleb and talk to them about tomorrow. That will take one thing off your plate."

"Thank you. Let me know what they say. If Caleb and Cara are too busy to come to Abnegation we have to go to them."

"Let me know how Will and Tori are doing," I say. "If you need me for anything, please don't hesitate to call. Have a good day. I love you."

"I love you, too," he says before hoisting Tyler onto his shoulders. I walk them to the door and give each one of them another kiss goodbye before I watch them disappear down the stairs.


	89. Chapter 89

I hurriedly push Tessa and Teagan in the double stroller along the path, taking my sick baby girl to the infirmary. After Tobias and Tyler left to go to the cafeteria for breakfast, I gave Tessa a bath while Teagan slept. Once my little one was clean, dry, and dressed for the day in a cute pink, gray, blue, and cream-colored floral long-sleeved shirt, blue leggings with little pink bows on the pant legs, and a matching bow headband, I put her in the new walker/jumper seat in the corner of our massive bathroom so I could give her sister a bath. Right now she pretty much just sits in it, touching all the toys that are attached to it in front of her but when she gets older she can first use it to strengthen her legs by jumping up and down and then use it to learn how to walk.

After I undressed Peanut and put her in the plastic tub, I knew I had made a terrible mistake. I thought a bath would be soothing and maybe even help bring her fever down but all it did was cause her to cry loudly and shiver almost uncontrollably. I quickly ran through her bath routine then dressed her in a new blue sweater with a large red heart adorning the front and red leggings covered in tiny white hearts that I bought as a winter outfit. It's a little big on her but at least it's warm. I took her temperature, and it was higher than it was a couple hours earlier so I made the decision that she was going to the doctor to see if anything had changed since yesterday.

When I had both kids ready to go, I called Tobias and left him a message that I was heading to the infirmary and to please meet me. I may be overreacting but I can't stand that she's sick and there's nothing I can do to make her feel better. When I enter the infirmary waiting area it's deserted as usual. The unfamiliar looking nurse behind the intake desk could hear us coming because Peanut is screaming at the top of her lungs. I park the stroller in front of the desk and pick her up, doing everything in my power to comfort her.

"I need to see Dr. Parrish," I say.

"Boy she has a set of lungs on her," she says. Although I can't argue with that statement, it irritates me. Something's wrong with my baby and this idiot is making jokes. "I'm afraid Dr. Parrish is not to be disturbed. One of the PAs will be with you shortly. Please sit down over there. I'll call you when it's time." She points toward the rows of empty seats along the wall. _You've got to be kidding me!_

"If you think I'm going to sit over there and wait on some inexperienced PA while my one month old is screaming her head off, you've got another thing coming," I read her nametag, " _Sandy_." About that that time Tessa starts crying, which brings frustrated tears to my eyes. I'll admit it, I'm overwhelmed at the moment.

"I'm sorry but rules are rules," she snidely remarks. "Have a seat." I narrow my eyes at her and contemplate shoving my fist into her crooked nose. It probably would do her a favor by straightening it but instead I grip the stroller handle tightly with one hand and Peanut with the other and walk toward the double set of doors. If she won't take me to Zander, I'll find him myself. I'm halfway through when she grabs ahold of the stroller and yanks it toward her.

"You _can't_ go back there," she says. _Alright! This is war!_

"If you don't let go of my stroller, _you_ are the one who is going to need a hospital bed. You're scaring my daughter," I calmly say, venom dripping from my voice. Tessa's wailing louder than I've ever heard her and Peanut's nearly just as noisy. "You obviously don't know who I am. I'm a leader of this faction and a very good friend of Zander's. You _will_ let me through or you'll regret it."

"If you think I believe for a second that a little spoiled rotten _girl_ who's probably never been told no a day in her life could be a leader of a faction, you've got another thing coming," she says. "Now get back in the waiting room and sit your ass down."

"Tris?" Tobias says as he comes jogging down the hallway with Zander on his heels. He looks over his shoulder at our friend. "I told you that was Tessa and Teagan I was hearing." He stoops down, picks up Tessa, and holds her against his chest, trying to get her to calm down. She's gasping for air as little tears roll down her face.

"What the hell is going on here?" Zander asks. He's looking at me but I know the question is for the nurse.

"I am so sorry, doctor. I know you asked that you and Four not be disturbed but," she turns and looks at me with pure hatred in her eyes, "this _nutjob_ demanded to be seen immediately. When I asked her to wait until a PA could see the child she burst through the doors trying to make it to an examination room. Should I call security?"

"Did this fucking bitch just call me a nutjob?" I spit. I take a step toward her but Tobias puts his hand on my shoulder, stopping me.

"Can't you hear my daughters screaming at the top of their lungs?" Tobias asks the wretched bitch. "Teagan's never sounded like this a day in her life. She's obviously in pain."

"Exam room one, Tris, Four," Zander says then he looks at the nurse who is slowly losing all the color in her face.

"She's really a leader?" she mutters.

"Yes, she is and a damn good one at that. You're not welcome in Dauntless anymore, and I will be reporting your conduct to Erudite and the hospital. Refusing to immediately treat a sick child is gross negligence. Don't be surprised if your license is suspended. Get out of my hospital." I head toward exam room one, forgetting about the drama behind me. All I care about in this moment is Teagan and Tessa.

"Did you get my message?" I ask Tobias. I can tell by the look on his face that he didn't. He pulls his phone out and frowns.

"I'm sorry, love," he says, kissing my forehead. He knows I'm worried sick. "I wish I would have found it. We would have been waiting for you and you wouldn't have had to deal with that." I sit on the examination table holding Peanut tightly.

"Ssh. Mommy's got you," I say, trying to get her to calm down. I press my lips to her forehead. "She's so hot, Tobias."

"I am so sorry about that, Tris," Zander says, closing the door behind him. He probably doesn't want all the other patients bothered by my sweet little girls who are wailing loudly.

"I'm sorry, too," I say. "I probably could have handled that better but I'm so worried."

"I know you are. Let's take a look," he says. He carefully takes Peanut from me and lays her on a blanket on the table beside me. Tobias puts Tessa in my arms knowing that she will make me feel better then stands beside me. We hold each other's hands while Zander examines our daughter. "When did you first notice the fever?"

"Yesterday morning," I say. "It's steadily risen since then."

"You gave her a half dose of the children's medicine I told you to buy when Tyler got sick after he first moved to Dauntless?" Great memory.

"That's correct." He looks in her mouth and nods.

"Is she having trouble nursing?" he asks.

"Yes," I say as he continues with the examination. He looks in both ears, both nostrils, and in her mouth again. He listens to her heart and lungs then very briefly shines a light in her eyes.

"Tris, how are your nipples?" _What_? "Any pain, itching, burning, cracking, discoloration, discharge, or swelling?"

"No," I slowly say. "What's wrong with her and, excuse me for saying this but, what the hell do my nipples have to do with it?"

"First of all, the ear infection is now in both ears. I thought that might be the case yesterday and I hoped we caught it early enough but no such luck," he says. "And she has something called thrush."

"What is thrush?" Tobias and I ask at the exact same time.

"It's a common oral yeast infection," he says. He puts his finger on her chin and opens her mouth then shines his light inside. _How the hell have I not noticed this before?_ "Do you see the white patches on the roof of her mouth and her cheek?" We both nod. "That's thrush. It's often on the tongue also. It doesn't bother some babies but it looks like Teagan is one of the unfortunate ones. It's often accompanied by fever, diarrhea, and colic."

"How did she get it?" I ask.

"Have you been on an antibiotic lately?" he asks.

"Actually earlier this week I finished a 10-day course of antibiotics for a UTI that Isobel gave me," I say. "She told me it was safe to take since I was breastfeeding."

"And I'm sure it was. Any antibiotic kills off good bacteria that keeps yeast in check, which causes an imbalance that can lead to an infection," he says. "It's possible the thrush was triggered by the antibiotics you gave her yesterday for the ear infection but since it came on so strong basically overnight I imagine it started from your antibiotic being passed to her through your breast milk." He reads my body language because he says, "Tris, it isn't your fault. These things happen. Teagan was a preemie so she's already at a higher risk for infections. I'm going to give you an antifungal medication that's to be used directly on the patches in her mouth for 10 days. I want you to use it on your nipples also. Thrush can be passed back and forth between mom and baby, causing it to be extremely hard to get rid of. Treating you both should keep that from happening."

"What about Tessa?" Tobias asks. "She breastfeeds also and has been cranky, eating more often, and up in the night."

"Thrush is more common in younger babies. Tessa should be fine but I will certainly take a look." He opens her mouth, and she frowns at him. "No thrush but I see what could be causing her problem. Looks like this one is going to be getting her first tooth here any day now."

"Tooth?" I say.

"Yes," he says with a warm smile. He opens her mouth and shows us the slightly swollen gum. "Her first tooth will pop up right there very soon."

"Teagan has some oral infection that I more than likely gave to her, Tessa's getting her first tooth, and I didn't notice either one," I groan. "What kind of mother am I?"

"Tris, don't beat yourself up," Zander says. "You and Four are both wonderful parents. I'll be honest, I had my concerns about two people as young as you taking on so much responsibility raising three kids but you changed my mind. Your kids are well cared for and you love each of them very much but the impressive thing is that you care about how you're doing. I see parents who honestly love their children but are so lost in themselves that they don't know how to be a parent and they don't care to make the necessary changes to be better. That will never be you so stop thinking you're a bad mother."

"It's hard not to blame myself," I say. He sighs as he stares at me then I swear I see a light bulb go off over his head.

"Four, do you blame Tris for Teagan getting sick?" he asks.

"No," Tobias says, sounding appalled.

"There you go. Your husband, Teagan's _father_ , doesn't hold you responsible. Why should you?" he asks.

"That actually makes sense," I murmur. _It's not my fault, it's not my fault, it's not my fault,_ I chant to myself. Unfortunately, I can say it but right now I can't make myself believe it.

"I'm going to give you a prescription for an antifungal for Teagan. Just follow the instructions. It's not difficult to apply," he says. "There will be an antifungal cream for you, too."

"Um," Tobias says interrupting Zander but he doesn't continue.

"Yes, Four."

"Is it possible for Tessa to get this infection even if Tris and Teagan are being treated … or me?" Heat creeps into my cheeks.

"Open wide," Zander says, trying to hide the humor in his voice but failing miserably. Tobias does as he's told and he shines the light in his mouth and looks all around. "You're in the clear. I'm also giving you a stronger antibiotic for her ear infection. Also pick up a new bottle of infant acetaminophen. You can give it to her up to six times a day."

"Can the medications be given at the same time or do they need to be administered separately?" I ask.

"The fungal medication is best used after she breastfeed so it lingers on the infection," he says. "The antibiotic and acetaminophen can be taken at the same time before she nurses when she's hungry. As a matter of fact, I'm going to go get her a dose right now. I'll be right back." He turns and walks out of the room as I hand Tessa back to Tobias and pick Peanut up. I tuck her in my embrace just so and subtly bounce her, and she starts to quiet down for the first time in a long time. I put my knuckle in her mouth and she suckles.

"I think she's hungry," I say. "How's Tessa?"

"Grumpy," he says.

"You're getting a tooth, little one?" I ask in awe. I stick my finger in her mouth and gently run it over her gums and feel the slight swelling then quickly draw it out when she gnaws on it. "Well that smarted." I raise my eyes to Tobias' and say, "Thank you for suggesting I stay home with them. Who knows what could have happened if I hadn't?" He cups my cheek and gives me a soft kiss. "I called Mom, Dad, and Caleb before all hell broke loose. I asked if we could meet in Abnegation tomorrow for lunch. They all agreed and will have all necessary data on serums with them. Dad was especially interested when I asked. He remembers long discussions and heated debates over whether the 'Frankenstein Serum,' as he called it, was ethical or not. He told me there was always one person in particular who was pushing for its use."

"Let me guess," he says. "Marcus."

"Yeah," I say. "Has he contacted you lately?"

"No," he says. "Maybe I should reach out to him."

"That makes me nervous," I say.

"Me too, love. Me too," he says as Zander comes back in the room. He gives a dropper of medicine to Peanut then turns to me.

"Tris, I would feel more comfortable giving you this prescription if I examined you first," he says. "Four, can you give us a moment."

"He can stay," I say. "If it's alright with you."

"Of course it is," he says. "I just need you to take off your shirt and bra and put this on." He lays the paper drape next to me then busies himself in the corner. I hate to move Peanut because she's rather content at the moment but it must be done. Tobias puts Tessa back in the stroller, and she starts whining then I carefully give him Teagan who starts crying.

"Can we make this quick?" I ask as I take my shirt off.

"Of course," he says. I slip the paper drape over my head then take my bra off. He does a quick but thorough visual and physical examination then lets me get dressed. "Have you resumed sexual intercourse?" he asks as I'm getting dressed. After the nipple question earlier I didn't think he could shock me any further. I was wrong.

"Yes," I say absolutely hating these questions.

"When was the last time?" he asks, never taking his eyes off the chart in his hand he's writing on.

"This morning," I say.

"Okay," he says as he looks up. "I did notice some redness, swelling, and mild abrasions but I attribute it to sexual activity and not an infection." So that's why he asked about sex. "Inspect your nipples daily and if you have any pain, itching, burning, cracking, discoloration, or discharge, call me immediately."

"Thank you so much, Zander," I say. "How is Tori? Has she woken up yet?"

"Four and I were just getting ready to check on her when he thought he recognized the crying coming from the waiting room. I lowered her sedation but the last time I checked, there was no change. I wish I could give you better news."

"Will?" I ask hopefully.

"He's one tough sonofabitch," he says. "By all rights, he shouldn't be here. I honestly think that Simon and Tony found him in the nick of time. I'm keeping him at least one more night. His memory hasn't returned." He's quiet for a moment then continues. "Between you, me, and the walls, I don't think he'll regain his memory from yesterday morning. I've told him and Christina both that it's possible, and it is, but it's a slim to none chance. I don't want to give them false hope but I also don't want to set back his recovery by dashing his hopes. Right now I think it would take a miracle to let him remember."

"Poor Will," I say. "Have you learned anything about the DNA?"

"We were going to go over the results after we checked on Tori," Tobias says. "Zander, I'm going to have lunch with Tris and the kids. Can we resume our meeting after?"

"Of course," he says. "I'm sorry again for how you were treated when you came in. I don't know how she could listen to Teagan's cries and not act. I'm surprised she wanted to be a nurse. She doesn't have an empathetic bone in her body. If you ever need me for an emergency, just text me. I'll come."

"Thank you, Zander," I say. "And thanks for helping us get to the bottom of what's wrong with both our girls."

"I almost forgot. Dampen a soft washcloth, put it in the refrigerator for a half hour or so, then let Tessa chew on it," he says. "We did this with all six of ours and Stella and I swear by it."

"She loves chewing on her purple butterfly," I say. "She usually has it and is gnawing on it."

"Another thing you can do is give her a gum massage," he says. "Run your finger gently over the sore tissue. She'll let you know if she doesn't like it. As a last result, you can use the infant acetaminophen for pain relief but only up to four times a day. Do you have any questions for me?" I look at Tobias and he shakes his head.

"I don't think so but if we think of anything, I'll let you know," I say.

"Alright then," he says. "Have a good lunch. I'll see you later." I watch as he walks out the door then I take Peanut from Tobias. She nuzzles my chest and tries to find my nipple through my shirt so I know she's hungry. I sit down, get her latched on, which isn't easy then toss a blanket over my shoulder.

"Is Tessa hungry, too?" I ask as we walk out on to the Pit floor.

"It's hard to tell because she always has something shoved in her mouth nowadays," he says. "I guess we know why now. Teething." We're about to walk past the daycare center when our eyes meet, and we smile at each other. When Tyler sees us, he jumps up and runs over.

"You comed to pick me up?" he excitedly asks.

"For lunch," I say. "Would you like to join us, sir?" He giggles and we get his answer. He wants to help push Tessa in the stroller but because there's no way for him to see, he stands beside her, instead, holding her hand. A chorus of hellos ring out when we approach our table, which is pretty full. Everyone scoots closer together, and we sit down in our usual seats. Tyler begs to sit with Uriah so we let him sit on his lap.

"No cake until you eat your lunch though," Tobias says. "Okay?"

"Otay," he jovially says. I think he would be happy to comply with anything we ask because we picked him up for lunch. "Can I have chicken?" That's new!

"I'm not sure if chicken is on the menu for today or not," Tobias says as he looks at everyone's plates. Not a single person has any form of chicken.

"If there's no chicken, what do you want?" He scrunches up his face as he thinks.

"Mac and cheese," he finally says. _There's my boy!_

"What about you, love?" he asks.

"Surprise me," I say. "I'm starving so anything is fine."

"I thought you were staying home with Tessa and Teagan today," Zeke says as Tobias walks toward the food line. "It's a long walk just for lunch."

"Teagan's sick," I say. "I had to take her to the infirmary."

"Oh, what's wrong with her?" Shauna asks.

"Double ear infection and something called thrush," I say. "Zander gave us medicine for both. He looked at Tessa just to make sure she's okay, and she's cutting her first tooth, which has her pretty crabby."

"Poor babies," Ciara and Ella say at the same time.

"You sure pissed off that Erudite nurse," Marlene says. This gains the attention of the whole table, and they focus on our conversation.

"Well the feeling is entirely mutual then," I scoff. "You obviously know what happened. Was I being unreasonable?"

"I don't think so," she says.

"What happened?" Lynn asks, saying what everyone else is thinking I imagine. The entire table listens carefully as I tell my story.

"Dr. Parrish sent her back to Erudite with multiple reprimands," Marlene says. "A nurse can only have so many before they lose their license. Apparently, she's had several in the past. She probably won't be a nurse after this." I've never known Marlene to be a gossip before.

"And good riddance," Tobias says as he sets chicken fingers, macaroni and cheese, mixed vegetables, and a slice of chocolate cake down in front of Tyler.

"Thanks!" he says.

"You're welcome, buddy. Cake after everything else," he says. "The _city_ doesn't need health care workers like that. Here you go." My plate has some sort of casserole, rice, beans, and a small lettuce salad. "The chef called it Mexican lasagna but it looks a lot like the enchilada casserole Hana makes." I take a tentative bite and flavor explodes on my tongue. Wow!

" _Mmmm_ ," I moan. "This is _really_ good. Thank you."

"You're welcome," he says as he sits down.

"So, how are Tori and Will?" Kirsten asks. Every eye at our table focuses on Tobias and the cafeteria goes eerily silent. We look around and see that the entire room is focused on our table. Tobias gets up and clears his voice.

"I know you all are wondering about Will and Tori's conditions," Tobias loudly says so everyone can hear. Stragglers come into the cafeteria from the Pit floor when they hear him speak. "The doctors are optimistic that Will will make a full recovery. He's resting comfortably in the infirmary. He could be released as early as tomorrow. His head injury is quite severe, and he does have some lingering side effects.

"Tori's condition is harder to explain. At the moment she is sedated, for her own safety, and resting comfortably. We won't know the extent of her injuries until she wakes up … _if_ she wakes up. Unfortunately, there is the possibility that she won't make it." A hushed gasp travels throughout the room. "I can't go into details because it's an ongoing investigation. I would like to say that if any of you have any information about Tori or Will's disappearances, Tris and I would appreciate it if you come to us."

"Why are our leaders being targeted?" a random Dauntless member asks from the crowd of onlookers.

"Like I said, it's an ongoing investigation," he says. "I wish I could stand here and tell you everything I know but I can't jeopardize what information we have. Just know that none of you are in danger. If you were, I would put an alert out."

"Are you sure there's no danger?" a female says. I look toward the sound of her voice and movement catches my eye. Lauren stands up and slips out of the cafeteria, her phone to her ear. If it was anyone else, I wouldn't think twice about her actions but since it's one of our suspects, her actions are highly suspicious. _Why would she leave_? I run over every word Tobias said in my head and something clicks. He just told everyone that Tori and Will are alive. The note found at the Navy Pier hinted that Molly and her minions thought they killed them. He just inadvertently confirmed the opposite. I get my phone out of my pocket and send an urgent text to Zander, which he answers immediately then I message Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo, telling them to post guards at Tori and Will's rooms.

"When I have more information for you, I'll make sure you get it," Tobias says, still addressing the crowd. "Let's finish our lunches." He sits back down and gives me a double take. "Is everything okay?" I shake my head. "What is it?"

"You just confirmed for Lauren that Tori and Will are alive," I whisper. "She got her phone out then skulked out of the room. I had Simon and Tony put guards on their rooms just to be on the safe side."

"Good thinking," he says. "I thought everyone knew they were alive."

"It was just a rumor," I say. "You confirmed it."

"Sonofabitch," he mutters under his breath. I slip my arm around his waist, and kiss his shoulder.

"Everything's going to be fine," I quietly say.

"I hope you're right," he says.

"I'm always right." A ghost of a smile turns up his lips but it soon disappears. I put my lips up against his ear and say, "Let's try to enjoy the rest of our lunch. Our son is watching us." Tyler is sitting across from us on Uriah's lap staring our direction, his big blue eyes wide with worry. With a hearty slice of chocolate cake in front of him, one would think he wouldn't notice anything else but he's very perceptive of our moods.

"Aren't you going to eat your cake, buddy?" Tobias asks. "If you don't want it I'm sure Uncle Uriah would be happy to take it." He looks up over his shoulder then digs in.

"Don't try to come between a boy and his cake," Uriah says as he takes a huge bite of his own and I roll my eyes at him. I check on Teagan when she stops nursing and find that she's fallen asleep. I put her up to my shoulder and pat her back as I listen to everyone at our table chatter about nothing of importance. After about five minutes she lets out a little burp. I press my lips to her forehead and find that she's still quite hot. Tessa has been whining lowly for a while but really starts to get loud so Tobias picks her up.

"Want to trade?" he asks. I'm hesitant to nurse her now that I know I could pass the thrush on.

"Sure. I'll give her a bottle," I say. We carefully exchange the girls like we've done hundreds of times now, and I get a bottle out of the diaper bag but she won't take it. I try a couple times using the tricks I've learned then, because of sheer exhaustion, give in to her demands and put her to my breast after wiping both nipples off well. I don't know if it's necessary but it makes me feel better. One by one our friends leave the table while Tessa nurses until it's just Zeke, Shauna, Uriah, Marlene, Lynn, and us. We're about ready to say our goodbyes when Christina comes in.

"Hi," she says.

"Please don't take this the wrong way but you look like hell," Lynn says.

"I feel like hell," she says. "I didn't want to leave Will but I need to eat, and I need to see Liam. I haven't seen him since I left the apartment yesterday."

"Why don't you call Fiona to bring him down," Marlene says. "I'm sure Will would love to see him, too."

"Would that be alright with Dr. Parrish?" she asks.

"Of course, it would," she says. Christina immediately gets her phone out and sends a message to her nanny. "I never even thought to ask. I'm so scattered right now."

"How's Will doing?" I ask. I put Tessa against my chest, and she lays her head on my shoulder, keening quietly, as I pat her back.

"He's in quite a bit of pain," she says. "He keeps trying to remember what happened yesterday morning, which makes his head hurt worse and then he just gets that much more frustrated because he can't remember. I've never seen him like this. It's scary. I swear if I could get my hands on whoever hit him, they would regret it." I believe her. "He's resting right now. Dr. Parrish gave him some pain medication that knocked him right out. It's the only reason I snuck off to get something to eat. I'm starving."

"They have a wonderful Mexican casserole, if there's any left," I say.

"I thought I'd just grab a slice or two and a cola," she says as she starts to get up.

"You sit. I'll get it for you," Tobias says. "What kind do you want?"

"Pepperoni," she says as she sits back down. "Thanks, Four."

"It's the least I can do," he says. He gets up and goes to the now deserted food line to get Christina some lunch. I shift Tessa in my arms and stick my finger in her mouth and gently run it over her gums. She must like it, because she quiets down and closes her eyes.

"What's wrong with her?" Christina asks.

"She's teething," I say. "Zander says her first tooth will pop through anytime. She's a bit cranky. I thought she was coming down with what Teagan has but I was wrong."

"Teagan's sick?" she says. "I'm sorry. I've been so caught up in my own drama that I don't know anything that's going on."

"You're entitled," Tobias says as he sets two slices and a tall glass of iced cola in front of her. "I had the chefs give you fresh pizza."

"I have to ask something before I head back to the control room," Zeke says. "I'm already late. What had you upset after your speech?"

"I confirmed that Tori and Will are both alive," he says. "I'm certain it got back to Molly, although I never even considered that she didn't already know. Just in case she tries to finish what she started, Tris had guards put on their rooms."

"So that's why that big, scary-looking guy is standing outside Will's room," Christina says. "Someone from inside the faction is helping her?" I look at Tobias and he nods. I look around us to make sure that we don't have any eavesdroppers.

"You had already went to Will's room when we told the others but we have reason to believe that Lauren Jones is helping Molly. They were close back in Candor but we didn't know until Ruth told us. She used to babysit Peter, Molly, and Drew. She's been keeping up with the investigation and reporting our findings to Molly. We're hoping we get some physical evidence soon so that we can arrest her."

"I've been thinking about that," Shauna says. "Instead of arresting her we need to come up with a plan where we use that relationship to our advantage. Give Lauren false information that will allow us to get some irrefutable evidence against everyone involved."

"That sounds like a good idea," Tobias says. "How would you like to come over for supper tonight? We could talk details then. Is that alright, Tris?"

"Of course, it is," I say. "It sounds like a great idea. Anything to get this mess over with sooner. I'll cook since I'll be home all afternoon with my girls."

"What time?" Zeke asks.

"Is 7 p.m. alright?" I ask.

"Shauna and I will be there," he says.

"Is there anyone else we need to invite?" she asks.

"When we come up with an idea, we'll let any players know the plan," Tobias says. "Under normal circumstances I would ask that you and Will be there tonight, Christina, but I know that's impossible."

"Thanks for thinking of us," she says. Delightful laughter captures my attention and I turn to see Fiona coming toward us carrying Liam. He's laughing, squealing, and just genuinely happy to see his mom."

"Oh, baby boy," she says as she takes him into her arms. As she hugs him tightly, I see a tear roll down her cheek. He babbles at her then laughs. "I've missed you so much." She peppers his face with kisses, which he doesn't like and he squirms, trying to get away from her assaulting lips.

"Hi, Liam," I say and he coos. "You are even more handsome than you were the last time I saw you." A smile lights up his face and his big, beautiful brown eyes shine. "You're a happy baby, aren't you?"

"I think he's looking for his girlfriend," Christina says with a chuckle and I hear Tobias grumble under his breath. I think his reaction is the only reason why she keeps saying these things. It's nice to see a glimpse of the real Christina.

"Sorry, Liam, but our little Teagan isn't feeling well," I say. "She's taking a nap." He frowns at the news like he actually understands.

"I hate to cut this short but I need to talk to Zander," Tobias says. "Tris, would you like to join us?"

"I would," I say. "Come on, Tyler. Say your goodbyes." He gives out kisses and hugs then comes to us. "Daddy and I have an important meeting but when we're done, how would you like to come home with me and your sisters." His eyes light up and he throws his arms around my neck until he sees Tessa then he lets me go.

"Yeah!" he says, clapping his hands together and jumping up and down. Something tells me we're going to have to rethink the amount of cake we give him in the future. He's on a sugar high right now. We gather up the kids, say our goodbyes, drop off Tyler at daycare, and then head toward the infirmary. When we reach the waiting room, there is no one behind the desk so we proceed through the double doors toward Tori's room. As we get closer, we hear one hell of a commotion. We stop outside her door and my heart pounds in my throat. It once again is stuck open on the tile floor allowing us to clearly see and hear everything that's going on. Zander and another familiar-looking doctor are furiously working over her still body. It looks like they are performing CPR. I knew we were going to lose her then something dawns on me.

"Where's her guard?" I say out loud. Zander hears and instructs a nurse to shut the door, blocking our view but not before we hear the heart monitor flatline.


	90. Chapter 90

Tobias drags me across the hall to the empty examination room that's becoming more and more familiar to me to wait for news on Tori. I hurry to the back of the room and park the double stroller beside the hospital bed then lower myself into the black metal folding chair beside it. I check on my girls, making sure they're alright and find them both still sound asleep. I collapse back in the chair and rest my head against the wall, wondering what's going on in the examination room across the hall. Did she succumb to her injuries or did something illicit happen? Where's her guard? Did Molly or one of her cohorts somehow sneak in to finish what they started? The suspense is killing me.

"She's dead," Tobias mutters. "They killed her." I watch as he restlessly paces, not taking his eyes off Tori's door. I imagine he's wearing a groove into the floor as he walks back and forth at a clipped pace.

"You don't know that," I say even though that's exactly what's running through my mind at the moment. "Do you think you could stop pacing please? You're making me dizzy." He stops in his tracks and looks up at the ceiling and groans. These deaths are really taking their toll on him. I pat the bed beside me, needing him close. "Sit." He mopes over and takes a seat on the mattress. He pulls his phone out of his pocket, glances at it, then sighs.

"I wonder what's taking so long?" he says.

"She has a lot of injuries," I say, taking his hand in mine. "I'm sure Zander is doing his best for her." A tall, large Dauntless guard walks by our door and Tobias hollers at him.

"Yes, Four?" he says when he sticks his head though the door.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm relieving Tori's guard, Sir," he says. Tobias and I look at each other with the same confused expression.

"Tori's room is right there," he says, pointing across the hallway at the ominously quiet room. "Where were you going?" The guard pulls his phone out of his pocket and scrolls through his messages.

"That's strange," he says. "It's gone."

"What's gone?" I ask.

"The message from Simon telling me to go to room 109 to relieve Tori's guard for lunch," he says. "I don't remember deleting it but I must have."

"May I?" Tobias asks, holding out his hand. The guard sets his phone in it, and Tobias double checks his messages. "I need to keep this, um…"

"Charlie," he says. "Charlie Brand."

"Charlie, do me a favor. Go to room 109 and bring the guard back here … _if_ there is one. I need to speak to him right away. Also check and see if there's a guard on Will's room, which is 102."

"Yes, Sir," he says. "Do you want me to bring him back here, too?"

"That isn't necessary," Tobias says. "Oh and don't call me Sir. Four is fine."

"Yes, Si … um, sorry, Four," Charlie stutters. He turns and hurries out of the room as Tobias gets his phone out and makes a call.

"Hey, Zeke, it's me. I have a question. Is there a way for me to text you but make you think it came from Tris … It's hypothetical you idiot … Okay, you're only a partial idiot … I'm sorry. That was uncalled for. I'm more than a little stressed right now. Tris and I are waiting on news from Zander about Tori. Her heart monitor flatlined. I don't think she's going to make it … We don't know what happened yet but there was no guard posted outside her room when we got here like Tris requested, and the supposed replacement guard said he received a message from Simon to go to room 109 and relieve Tori's guard … Actually, there are two problems with that. One, Tori is in exam room 2 not patient room 109 and there is no message from Simon on Charlie's phone … I confiscated it. Can you run diagnostics on it … I don't think he's lying. I don't get that kind of vibe off him. He seems very eager to please … Charlie Something. Um, Brand I think … I have no idea. I don't recall seeing him before now … No, you're right. I'm totally off today. Anyway, can you answer my original question?" He sighs dramatically and rolls his eyes. "Is it possible for me to text you but when you read the text, you think it came from Tris … I see … Actually, that's not a bad idea … Okay. If I find anything out, I'll let you know. Oh and can you keep this quit for now … Thanks, Zeke."

"What was that all about?" I ask.

"Apparently, there's a computer program that spoofs a cellphone number so anyone could have sent that text to Charlie using Simon's phone number. Why? I have no idea," he says. "How it was erased from his phone is another problem all together."

"How would Molly get Simon's phone number?" I ponder out loud.

"I guess we have more questions than answers," he says. "But I'm sure that if Molly wanted some kind of information, Lauren would have no trouble getting it for her. She's a computer whiz after all."

"You're probably right," I say.

"But?" he asks, hearing my hesitation.

"Can we trust Simon and Tony?" Not trusting them has never occurred to me before but with Lauren betraying Dauntless who's to say that Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo aren't doing the same thing.

"I trust those two with my life," he says.

"Didn't you trust Dante and Samuel with your life at one point?" I ask. "I'm not saying that Simon and Tony aren't trustworthy but shouldn't we err on the side of caution? After all, I texted Simon and told him where to put the guards. How did they get changed?" Charlie walks into the room followed by another faceless guard. The one thing they all have in common is their size. These men are huge. I'm sure if they set their mind to it, they could break me in two.

"Four, Tris, this is Brett Tomas," he says. "He was guarding room 109. And for your information Kyle Peters is at Will's room."

"I have a couple questions for you, Brett," Tobias says. "Please tell me how you were assigned to an empty room."

"I got a text from my supervisor, Tony Weatherly. He told me to guard Tori who was located in exam room 2. I immediately left my post near the Pire and started to the infirmary. Before I reached the Pit, he texted me back and told me that Tori had stabilized and that she was being moved to room 109. I passed Kyle who was already posted outside Will's room, and I took my place outside what I thought was Tori's room. As I was coming down the hallway, a nurse came out of the room so I didn't think anything about it."

"You never thought to look and see that the person you were supposed to be guarding was actually _in_ the room you were guarding?" I ask. He takes a deep breath and squares his shoulders before he answers.

"No, I didn't," he says.

"Thank you for your honesty," Tobias says. "May I see your phone?"

"That's another strange thing," he says as he gives him the phone. "The second message I received from Tony isn't there anymore." Another missing message? Are these two to be believed? I think Zeke asked the same thing when he was talking to my husband.

"Charlie, did you say your text was from Simon?" Tobias asks.

"Yes, Si, Four," he says. Tobias gets up off the bed and starts pacing again.

"What faction were you born into?" he asks Charlie.

"Dauntless," he answers, although it's obvious he's wondering why he's being questioned about his faction of origin.

"And you, Brett?"

"Candor," he says.

"Do you know a girl named Molly Atwood?" Tobias asks.

"Molly Atwood?" he repeats. "I don't believe so. Was she from Candor, too?"

"Yes," I say. "She was a transfer last year."

"Sorry," he says shaking his head. "I don't know anyone who would be that young. I joined Dauntless 10 years ago.

"She does have older siblings named Michael and Margarete," I say. "They too are younger than you but do the names ring a bell?"

"Atwood. No, I can't say that they do," he says. The door across the hallway finally opens up and Zander comes through. He looks exhausted, downtrodden.

"I need to speak to Dr. Parrish," Tobias says. "Can you two wait with Kyle outside of Will's room? I'll be with you as soon as I can." They exit the room and Zander closes the door behind them. He grabs the black rolling stool and sits down. We all look at each other, not speaking.

"She's stable," he finally says. "Until I run a full tox screen, I won't know for sure what exactly happened. The alarm in her room went off, and when we responded, she wasn't breathing. We worked on her, trying to restore her airway and then her heart stopped. We had to shock her multiple times but we got her heart restarted and her breathing normalized. She's not out of the woods yet but she's awake, and I think you can talk to her if you keep it short. If you like I can stay here with Tessa and Teagan."

"Thank you, Zander," I say. "We didn't mean to interrupt earlier."

"You didn't," he says. "It isn't easy seeing a friend or a loved one being worked on by medical professionals. I try to make sure that all procedures happen behind closed doors but sometimes mistakes happen."

"Come on, love," Tobias says. "Let's see if we can get some answers." I take his proffered hand, and he leads me across the hall into the examination room. There's still evidence of Zander and his staffs' efforts to bring Tori back littering the floor. I squeeze Tobias' hand when my gaze falls on Tori's face. She doesn't look any different than she did yesterday. Maybe the bruise on the side of her face has yellowed minutely. "Tori?" Her eyes slowly open and she focuses on our faces.

"Hi," she says. She looks around the room then back to us. "Where am I?"

"You're in the infirmary," I say. She reaches out and takes my hand.

"What happened?" she asks.

"We were hoping you could tell us," I say. She stares up at us, obviously confused.

"What's the last thing you remember?" Tobias asks. She furrows her brows as she concentrates then surprisingly a smile turns up her lips.

"Frankie made me a romantic dinner," she says. "He proposed. I'm getting married." Pain spears my heart for her. I can't believe he proposed the night he died, and it's obvious she doesn't know his fate or she doesn't remember. I wouldn't want to remember if I was her. "Where is he?"

"We'll look for him after we leave," Tobias says. A startled gasp leaves my lips, and he gives me a warning look.

"You need your rest, Tori," I say, knowing that we won't get anything useful from her at the moment … if ever. "We'll come back later."

"Thanks for stopping by," she says as her eyes flutter shut. I very gently remove my hand from hers then we go back across the hallway. I can see that Zander is dying to learn what we found out but I can't say it. My heart is breaking for her.

"As of right now, her last memory is of Frankie proposing," Tobias says. A horrified look crosses Zander's face.

"Oh, God. That's horrible."

"She asked for him. I told her I'd look for him."

"I know that it seems cruel but what you told her is for the best," Zander says. "She just suffered a cardiac arrest. The shock of learning he was murdered, and she was kidnapped and given a form of death serum could be too much for her."

"Do you think the memory loss is temporary or is it more than likely permanent?" I ask.

"You probably don't want to hear this but the best thing for Tori is if she never remembers the trauma. I know that doesn't help your case but the shock of losing Frankie on top of already losing Harrison alone is going to be difficult for her to overcome. If you add her having to endure her worse fears for however long it was and the trauma of the kidnapping, she might not make it."

"She's so strong though," I say.

"But every mind has its breaking point, Tris," Zander says. "Once her vitals stabilize and I'm satisfied she's out of danger, I'll move her to a private room. When I feel she's stable enough to learn the truth without causing a setback, I'll tell her about Frankie. I'm limiting her visitors to just you two. That should reduce the risk of her finding out prematurely and going into shock or cardiac arrest again."

"I'm going to assign guards to her room," Tobias says.

"To tell you the truth, I'm surprised you didn't do that before," he says.

"I did," I say. "We have reason to believe that Molly orchestrated them being moved to a different room. We don't think Tori went into cardiac arrest naturally. We think it was another attempt on her life. She may not remember anything from her ordeal at the moment but she knows something and Molly's scared. We've got to keep her safe."

"I thought it was too much of a coincidence that she was steadily improving throughout the morning to just crash the way she did. I'll put a STAT on the toxicology report." Peanut starts fussing, and I pick her up so she doesn't wake Tessa but it's too late. Her little eyes flutter open, and she whines as she shoves her fist in her mouth.

"If she needs to be moved for any reason, tests, labs, etc., make sure her guards go with her," Tobias says as he picks up Tessa. "Since she needs her rest, can we go over the DNA test results?"

"Of course," he says. "Let's go to my office." After assigning the guards to the correct room, we follow Zander through the labyrinth to his office and sit in the chairs opposite his desk. "The DNA collected from Tori's neck is a perfect match to the male DNA from our other cases. She also had female DNA collected from her wrists and ankles. It matched what was found on Frankie's autopsy results. There was trace DNA on the sweatshirt and sweat pants but it's from a third unknown female."

"Two females and one male," Tobias says. "Molly, Lauren or Olivia, and Drew, although that's only a guess."

"I suppose we can't just ask them for samples of their DNA?" I ask, knowing that this could all be over if we could just get samples of all our suspects' DNA.

"We could but I doubt they would comply," Tobias says, a thoughtful, faraway look on his face. "I was just remembering a plot from an old movie I watched when I first came to Dauntless. The police needed a suspect's DNA but because there was no probable cause for a warrant to compel him, they followed him around and got a sample off a spoon or fork he ate off of. Could we do something like that?" We both look at Zander.

"Yes," he says. "Although we would need absolute proof that whatever was being tested came from the suspect, a video or photograph or something like that."

"So I could have guards follow our suspects and collect anything that might have their DNA on it as long as we have proof it's theirs?" Tobias asks.

"Basically," he says.

"Finally, some good news," he says. "It's about time we got some. I should be going. I've got some research to do on how that car got to Amity. Maybe if I can figure out who the weak link is, this whole conspiracy could come crashing down." Tessa seems to have regained her good mood after her nap so Tobias is able to put her in the stroller without her crying but Peanut, on the other hand, is just miserable. Thankfully I have an extra sling in the diaper bag. Once I get her situated, she falls back to sleep, although it's a restless nap. We say our goodbyes and thanks to Zander, reminding him to contact us if there's any change in Tori's condition then we decide to drop in on Will and Christina.

"I hope we aren't interrupting," I say as we walk past his guard and through the open door. Tobias closes it behind us.

"Of course not," Will says.

"How are you feeling?" I ask. "You're looking better. You have a little more color than the last time we saw you."

"My head hurts but not as bad as it did," he says. "I've been trying to remember for you but there's just nothing there."

"Take it from me," Tobias says, "don't try to force the memories. They'll come back when you least expect it."

"Everyone keeps telling me that but it's so frustrating not to remember," he says. "Maybe the key to capturing Molly and Drew is locked up in my head."

"Don't worry about that," I say. "We have a plan."

"We're going to have the patrol officers who are following Molly, Drew, and Olivia get items with their DNA on it to compare to the DNA that's been collected from the autopsies," Tobias says. "I have something else I need to tell you. Tris put guards on you and Tori."

"Christina told me," he says.

"Well, someone intercepted her texts to Simon and Tony and sent Tori's guard to the wrong room and we think an attempt was made on her life. She went into cardiac arrest. Zander was able to get her back, and she's awake and improving. As of right now she has no memory of what happened to her. She doesn't realize that Frankie's gone and apparently, he had just proposed."

"Oh, my God!" Christina gasps. "They need stopped! This has gone on long enough."

"Calm done, Christy," Will says, recoiling from her ranting.

"I'm sorry," she says. "I didn't mean to yell. I'm just so frustrated."

"We all are," Tobias says. "I grappled with the idea of giving you this news or not. I hope I made the right decision."

"You did, Four," Will says. "It's not easy to hear but I need to be kept in the loop. I don't think I can do much to help but it makes me feel like I'm contributing."

"We just want you to get better soon," I say.

"Can I visit with Tori?" Christina asks.

"Actually Zander has limited her visitors to Tris and me," Tobias says, "and he's taken it upon himself to be the one to break the news about Frankie when he thinks she's stable enough to hear it. She damn near died today."

"I understand," she says.

"Well, we'll leave you three alone," I say. Liam is asleep in his mother's arms. "Get some rest, both of you. You'll be home before you know it."

"Thanks, Tris," Christina says. I bend over and give her an awkward one-armed hug because of the babies. "I'll see you soon."

"If you need anything at all, just let me know," I say. "That goes for both of you." After we say goodbye we go out into the hallway and give Will's guard the same instructions we gave Tori's. Neither of them are to be left unattended for one second. If they are, jobs will be in jeopardy. We then swing by the pharmacy and stock up on supplies and pick up the prescriptions Zander sent in. Before heading home, Tobias and I stop at the daycare center to pick up Tyler as promised and find that he's down for an afternoon nap. I situate both girls in the stroller as Tobias carefully picks Tyler up and, miraculously, he doesn't wake up then we head up the path to the Pire. We see someone lingering outside his office, and for a moment I become anxious but when I make out who it is, I relax.

"Hello, Jennifer," Tobias says. I think we forgot all about Jennifer Chaucer and the trouble she's been going through, at least I have. "You must think I'm terrible to make you promises then not be here for you."

"It's okay, Four," she says. "I heard Tori and Will were found, although if I'm being completely honest I didn't know Will was missing. I know you have more things to deal with than a pathetic woman who can't take care of herself."

"First of all, I didn't forget about you and second, you're not pathetic. Not by a long shot," he says. "Why don't we all go into my office?" He unlocks the door, and we let Jennifer go in then we follow. I sit down on the couch, and he carefully places Tyler in my arms so he can finish his nap. "Why don't you sit down." He motions to one of the chairs opposite his desk, and she takes a seat. "I have a list of jobs that are available throughout the compound but I have one in particular that I think you would like. It's full-time in the clothing boutique. The hours are 10 to 6 Monday through Friday. Christina Drake would be your direct supervisor. The woman in that position now is taking a different job in the salon in two weeks. I looked at the apartments in the area, and there are two I think you would be interested in. They are both three bedrooms. The first is on two floors, and it was updated three years ago. The other is all on one level and is newly renovated with brand new appliances. Both would be a good option in my opinion but, of course, I'll leave the decision up to you." He gets a sheet of paper out of his top desk drawer and gives it to her. "These are the job openings. If something else jumps out at you, by all means, take it." She reaches out with trembling hands and takes the list from him.

"I forgot how nice people could be," she says. "I'm still having a hard time believing that I deserve all this."

"Of course, you deserve it," I say. "You deserve to be happy."

"Your husband was transferred to Candor yesterday afternoon," Tobias says. This is news to me. "He confirmed the abuse under truth serum and was sentenced to one year in jail and then he'll live factionless. You will be granted a divorce within the month." She gasps. Is it possible that she still loves that animal?

"I don't know how to thank you … both of you," she says, her bottom lip quivering. "The job at the boutique is perfect. I've always loved fashion. I think I'll take the newly renovated apartment. It would be nice to have everything in working condition. When will we be able to move in?" Tobias opens another drawer and takes out a thick binder.

"Apartment 221," he says as he hands her two keys. "You can move in at any time. If you need help, call this number." He hands her a card. "This is the head of maintenance. He'll make sure you get moved in in a timely manner."

"Thank you, Four," she says. "Thank you, Tris. You don't know what a difference your help has made. It's been less than 48 hours, and I've already noticed a profound change in Bobby. He's smiling and so much happier. I wish I could take responsibility for the change but it's because of you."

"No, it's not," Tobias says. "If you hadn't told the truth, if you had allowed his abuse to continue we wouldn't be here right now. But you confided in Tris, you stood up to him, and you made sure he paid for his crimes. _You_ made all that happen so you need to start taking the credit, not give it away."

"Thank you," she says then she glances at the clock on the wall. "I need to go pick up the kids. Thank you again." Tobias sees her out then sits on the couch beside me.

"You look tired, love," he says.

"I am," I say. "Physically _and_ emotionally."

"Is there anything I can do?" I lean up against him, and he wraps his arm around me.

"Just five minutes without any drama would be nice," I say but as soon as the words leave my lips Peanut starts fussing. He gives me a swift kiss then picks her up out of the stroller.

"Maybe next time you should ask for five minutes of nothing but drama and you'll get some peace and quiet," he says and I can't help but chuckle.

"Tyler, buddy, it's time to get up," I quietly say as I rub his back. His eyes flutter open and he stares up at me. It takes a moment for him to comprehend where he is then he smiles at me. "Hi."

"Hi."

"Mommy needs you to walk so Daddy and I can get the babies upstairs. Okay?"

"Otay," he says. Tobias hands me Peanut then picks up Tessa and her diaper bag then we head home.


	91. Chapter 91

I stand at the counter getting supper ready for tonight with Zeke and Shauna. Unfortunately though, the menial task can't keep my attention. I'd give anything if it could. Instead of concentrating on rolling each meatball between my palms, my thoughts are all over the place. They're on Molly, wondering why she's doing what she's doing and how we will really stop her. They're in the infirmary with Will and Tori, wondering if they both will in fact make a full recovery and when. They're in the next room with Teagan and Tessa, hoping they both feel better and soon. They're down in Tobias' office, wondering what new information he's learning about the night Tori went missing. They're in Abnegation, wondering what we'll learn about the death serum tomorrow.

"Mommy? What you doin'?" Tyler asks bringing me back to the now, settling my muddled mind. He's been sitting at the island quietly coloring while his sisters nap in the next room.

"I'm making meatballs," I say, rolling yet another one between my palms then putting it on the baking sheet.

"Why?" he asks, inquisitive as ever.

"Because Zeke and Shauna are coming over tonight, and we're having spaghetti and meatballs for supper," I say. As I talk, his eyes light up. Not only does he love it when our friends comes over but he loves when Tobias or I make one of his favorite meals. I chuckle a little. My boy has a lot of favorite foods. At least he'll never be hungry again.

"Can I show them my woom?" he excitedly asks. "They nevew seen my woom befowe!"

"I don't see why not," I say. "I bet they would love for you to show them your room, especially Zeke. Just don't let him try to go down your slide." And knowing him as I do, he probably will try.

"He too big," he says with a giggle.

"Yes, he is but we both know he's just a big kid," I say and he laughs nearly uncontrollably. "You're in a good mood."

"I with you," he says matter-of-factly making my heart swell. I lean across the island and come practically nose-to-nose with him.

"Guess what?" I ask.

"What?" he asks his eyes wide and so innocent.

"Being with you," I tweak his nose, "puts me in a good mood, too," I say.

"You love me," he says very sincerely. "Moon back."

"Yes, I do," I say. "I better get back to making meatballs. How about you color me a picture?"

"Otay," he says. I quickly roll out the rest of the meatballs, wash my hands, and then put the tray in the oven before starting the sauce. I follow Hana's recipe to the letter and within minutes, the aroma of garlic, tomatoes, and basil wafts throughout the apartment as the sauce simmers on the stove. "I'm going to check on your sisters. I'll be right back." I first check on Tessa who's napping peacefully in her bouncy chair near the couch and love seat then check on Peanut who's in her bassinet. I'm surprised to find her quietly lying there just staring at the ceiling. "Hello, blue eyes. Did the medicine Mommy gave you help?" I carefully pick her up, and she snuggles into my chest but she doesn't act like she's hungry. When we got home from talking to Jennifer Chaucer in Tobias' office, I gave Peanut the antibiotic and then nursed her while he gave Tessa a bottle. After she finished, I put a small amount of the thrush medication on a swab recommended by the pharmacist and applied it to the patches. At first she wailed but soon cried herself to sleep. I guess I'm surprised to see her so content now. "How would you like to sit in the swing?" I take her into the kitchen and adjust the seat of the swing then lay her in it. I start the timer and it gently sways back and forth.

I hear the front door open and glance at the clock. I step into the living room and find my husband kneeling down in front of our sleeping daughter. He's a sight to behold. I walk up beside him and rest my hand on his shoulder, and he looks up at me with a friendly, warm smile on his handsome face that tries to steal my breath. He straightens up until he's towering over me then wraps his arms around my waist and lifts me straight off my feet so he doesn't have to bend or maybe he just wants to feel every inch of my body up against his before his lips land on mine. I fist my fingers in his curls as I move my mouth with his. When we're both panting in much-needed air, I sigh against his lips.

"Hello," he breathlessly says.

"Hi."

"I missed you," he says as he lets my body slide down his until I'm once again on my feet. He cups my face between his palms and kisses me again but it's much sweeter this time.

"I missed you, too," I say. "Did you learn anything new?"

"I don't know," he says. "Can we talk about it later when Zeke and Shauna are here?"

"Sure," I say.

"Something sure smells good," he says. "I didn't know you would go to the trouble of making spaghetti when we invited them over."

"And meatballs!" Tyler excitedly says as he runs towards his father. Tobias barely has time to let go of me before Tyler launches himself at him. Tobias easily catches him and gives him a big hug. "Hi, Daddy! You home fo good?"

"Yes, buddy, I'm home for the night," he says. "What have you been doing while Mommy's been making supper?" He takes a couple steps and saddles up to the island. "Have you been drawing? This one is really good. Can you tell me about it?" Tyler releases his grip on Tobias' neck and looks at the drawing.

"That Mommy," he says. I look at the picture I asked him to draw for me, and my heart constricts. It's basically a circle with yellow scribbles for hair, big oversized light blue ovals for eyes, and a pink crooked semicircle for a mouth, but it's the most beautiful drawing I've ever seen in my life.

"You know, I see that," Tobias says. "She has pretty blonde hair, big beautiful blue eyes, and an amazing smile. You did a wonderful job capturing her true beauty. Did you draw anything else?"

"Yeah. I dwawed all of us," he says pointing at the pile of paper on the island. Tobias shuffles pictures of purple trees with blue leaves, orange and green unicorns with pink horns, and ferocious dinosaurs or maybe they're dogs until he finds a picture of all of us. He pick it up and studies it for a moment then hands it to me. The picture is lovely. It's a combination of stick drawings and exaggerated cartoon-like figures. We're all standing in a line holding hands. I'm larger than Tobias and the babies are both bigger than Tyler.

"What's this?" I ask, pointing to the brown blob next to Peanut.

"That my dog," he says.

"I was wondering that myself," Tobias says.

"It's a lovely dog," I say. "Shall we hang this up on the refrigerator so everyone can see it?" He eagerly nods and excitedly watches as I hang it up with a photo magnet of him. "Now everyone knows you drew this masterpiece."

"Hang up this one," he says, pointing at the picture of me so I pick it up and hang it right next to our family picture. He smiles widely when he sees his artwork displayed for all to see.

"Maybe you should draw a picture of Daddy," I say.

"Otay!" he says. He struggles out of Tobias' arms then climbs up on the barstool and starts drawing like it's his job.

"Would you like to help me finish dinner?" I ask.

"It would be my pleasure," he says. While I throw together a Caesar salad he prepares a large loaf of Italian bread with olive oil and minced garlic to put in the oven when Zeke and Shauna arrive. I check the meatballs then get them out of the oven and carefully put them in the sauce before moving the pan to the warming burner at the back of the stove to keep the sauce at the consistent temperature. "Why don't you go relax until they get here? I'll watch the kids."

"I would like to freshen up," I say. "Thanks. I love you."

"I love you, too." I go up on my tiptoes and kiss his cheek then head upstairs. I pick out a comfortable outfit that doesn't have any baby spit up on it then head into the bathroom. I strip out of my clothes after turning on the shower to a comfortable temperature then step inside. I quickly run through my routine then close my eyes and let the pounding water rain down on my tense muscles, massaging the day's stress away. I jump when arms wrap around my waist then large hands glide up my body and settle on my breasts. "It's just me, love," Tobias murmurs in my ear as he massages the plump mounds.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"Trying to seduce my wife," he says as he moves my hair off my neck and kisses just beneath my left ear. "Is it working?" I know this is a really bad idea and that I should put a stop to it but instead I relax into his hard chest, loving the feel of his mouth and hands moving on my slippery skin. He takes this as encouragement and slowly slips one hand down to my heated center and finds my nubbin with his fingers. My mouth falls open as I gasp softly. "I'd say we have at least 10 minutes of uninterrupted adult time … if you're interested." How could I not be with what he's doing to me?

"We really shouldn't," I moan as my body sways to the rhythm of his digits.

"Yes, love, we _should_ ," he says as he presses his growing erection into my lower back causing me to gasp. I battle with myself knowing this isn't the best idea in the world but the feeling of every inch of his body pressed up against mine as his lips and hands continually move over my breast, nubbin, and neck makes my resistance slip away and spiral down the drain along with the water. I turn in his arms, and our lips crash into each other's. He drags me over to the sizeable shower bench, pulls me down until I'm straddling his lap, and enters me fully in one deep thrust.

"Aahh," I cry out and he stills inside me. We pant against each other's mouths until I tell him I'm ready then we start to move against each other. He wraps his arms around me, holding me tightly and buries his head in my neck as he repeatedly thrusts upward as I fist my fingers in his hair and push myself down on his slamming length. This definitely will be quick.

"Oh, God," he mumbles in my ear as we writhe against each other as we carry one another closer to sweet release. Sensing that I'm not quite there, he reaches between our bodies and roughly circles my nubbin with his middle finger as his strokes become shorter, faster, and even more frantic. We move together never missing a beat, him bucking upward as I slam myself down.

"Oh, shit!" I call out and he captures my cries with his eager mouth. As I feel myself slipping over the edge, I toss my head back and convulse around his length again and again. He trusts a few more times into my depths, cries out my name against my neck, then spills himself deep inside. We cling to each other, panting as the shower beats down on us both. He moves his mouth to mine and kisses me passionately.

"God, you're wonderful," he roughly says, winded. "I didn't get too rough did I?" I wrap my arms around his neck and draw his mouth back to mine. This kiss is full of nothing but love. When I pull my lips away, I'm a little shy.

"I like it when you're a little rough," I say not quite meeting his eyes. "And before you ask, you didn't hurt me."

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Tris. I hope I never make you feel like all I want from you is sex," he says. "I practically attacked you twice in one day and if Zeke and Shauna weren't due practically any moment and the kids were in bed, I wouldn't be done with you yet."

"Does that mean I have more to look forward to later on?"

"If you want it," he says, a sexy gleam in his eyes.

"Oh, I'll definitely want it," I say. I kiss him passionately once again then move myself off his softening length. I pick up my coconut body wash and quickly wash up while he does the same. "By the way, I know you want me for more than sex. You show me every day. You finish up. I need to check on the kids." I exit the shower and quickly dress then go into the nursery. The girls are both still sleeping so I head down the hallway to Tyler's room. He's lying on his bed playing with one of his puzzle books. He doesn't notice me, he's so enthralled with his toy, so I go back into the bathroom and quickly dry my hair as Tobias gets dressed. The doorbell rings as we're carrying the girls downstairs and Tyler runs past us to answer the door.

"Don't answer the door yet, Tyler," Tobias says. "Wait for me." He puts Peanut in the bassinet then follows behind our son and lets Zeke and Shauna in.

"Hi, guys," Shauna says. "It smells wonderful in here."

"Thanks! I made spaghetti and meatballs," I say.

"Hana's recipe?"

"Is there any other?" Zeke asks with a chuckle following us into the kitchen.

"You wanna come see my woom?" Tyler asks as he tugs on Zeke's hand.

"I would love to see it," he says. "Can Shauna come, too?"

"Yeah!" He holds both their hands then leads them up the stairs. "Be back!"

"I love that our friends include Tyler in their lives," Tobias says. "They could just tolerate him for our benefit but they all truly love him, too. They have since we introduced him."

"Tyler is very easy to love," I say as I put the loaves of garlic bread in the oven. Peanut starts whining in the other room so I check on her. She has her little hand in her mouth with a grimace on her face. "Can you finish getting supper ready? Peanut's hungry and getting crabby again."

"Of course," he says. I grab a fresh diaper, wipes, a blanket, and the thrush medication then sit on the ottoman. I put the blanket down on the coffee table and change her wet diaper then sit back in the club chair and begin to nurse her. She suckles hungrily but whines the entire time. When I hear Zeke and Shauna coming down the stairs, I cover her head with the blanket.

"You have an awesome room, Tyler," Zeke says as he carries him on his shoulders into the living room. "I would love a slide and swing in my bedroom." I catch Shauna's eye, and she grins as she rolls his eyes.

"The sad truth is he's not kidding," she says. "He would love to live in a fort or a tree house. I often wonder how I fell in love with such a little boy."

"Aren't all men just little boys at heart?" I ask and we laugh together.

"Your wife's making fun of us, dude," Zeke says.

"So is your girlfriend," Tobias says.

"We love you and you know it," she says.

"Yeah, what she said," I tease with a giggle, which sets off Shauna. All the noise wakes Tessa up.

"May I?" Shauna asks.

"By all means," Tobias says, "but she may have a dirty diaper."

"I don't think one dirty diaper will hurt me," she says as she lifts Tessa out of her swing. My normally very happy baby is crabby again. "I helped my mom with Hector's diapers once in a while when he was a baby. It wasn't my favorite thing to do but I liked playing 'Mommy.' Lynn hated it." Tobias gets a diaper and wipes and gives them to her. "Thanks."

"So, have you changed your mind about a baby?" Zeke asks.

"You gettin' mawwied?" Tyler excitedly asks. Zeke's mouth drops open, and he starts sputtering and mumbling incoherently. Shauna just shakes her head.

"No, buddy," she says. "Uncle Zeke and I aren't getting married and until we do, there won't be any babies." His smile fades and I can tell that he's truly disappointed that they aren't getting married, and if I'm not mistaken, so is Shauna. She finishes up Tessa's diaper then volunteers to feed her.

"It might not be easy," I say. "She's cutting a tooth."

"I'll take my chances," she says. She makes faces at Tessa who rewards her with a big grin. "I see where her tooth is going to come through. Poor baby." I still feel bad that I missed the signs.

"Four, Zeke, why don't you get something to eat," I say. "I'm sure you're hungry and Tyler is, too."

"Yeah, my tummy cwying," he says.

"Are you sure?" Tobias asks. "We can wait for you."

"No, go ahead," Shauna says.

"Alright," Zeke says.

"How are you doing, Tris?" she asks after our guys go into the kitchen.

"For the most part, I'm wonderful," I say as I check on Peanut who stopped nursing. "I wish this mess with Molly and her suspected revenge was over though."

"Me, too," she says. "It's been a rough year, one thing right after another. Do you ever feel that you and Four are jinxed?"

"Jinxed?" I repeat. I think about it for a moment then shake my head. "Maybe I should feel that way but I don't. I think we're very lucky to have found each other and that we get to lean on each other during the tough times. I don't know how I would handle a quarter of what life throws my way without him. I know it's probably cliché but … he's my rock."

"I know couples twice your age who have been together for decades who don't have the bond you do," she says. "If I'm completely honest, I'm a little jealous. You probably picked up on it earlier." I shake my head. "You and Four have been together for just a little over a year now and you're married, you have three kids, and you have the type of relationship everyone dreams about having. I've known Zeke my entire life, and we aren't on the same page about anything at the moment." She quiets her voice so he can't hear her. "When I talk about marriage, he freaks out. When he brings up children, my stomach ties into knots. No offense to you and Four but I want to be married before I have kids but something has a bee in his bonnet about having a baby." _A bee in his bonnet?_

"No offense taken, and even though I love each and every one of my children with my whole heart, I'd be lying if I didn't say that I wished Teagan's arrival was a couple years in the future but things are what they are," I say. "You two will work it out. I know it isn't easy when you aren't on the same page as the one you love. It can be agonizing." She looks at me skeptically as she burps Tessa. "Shauna, Four and I fight, and it's embarrassing to admit but Zeke has even witnessed it a few times. We don't live in a fairy tale. No one does. We just made a promise to each other to always be honest with each other about what we want. Luckily, we usually want the same thing."

"I guess it's easy to look at someone else's life and think that it's perfect even though you honestly don't know what's going on behind closed doors," she says.

"When did you first bring up marriage?" I ask.

"When you and Four were getting married," she shyly says. "It's like my biological clock started echoing in my head but to get married not have a baby. I'm years away from wanting that but it's like the exact opposite happened for him when Teagan was born. He would be thrilled if I made him a father but if I hint at making him a husband, he wants to run the other way. I just don't get it."

"I wish I could help but I can't," I say. "All I can say is talk it out, keep the lines of communication open, and always be honest." I chuckle a little at myself. "I swear that is the only advice I know how to give. I've given it to Christina, Avery, and now you."

"Well for what it's worth, it _is_ good advice," she says.

"Shall we join our guys?" I ask when Peanut and Tessa are both done eating. "You can put Tessa in her swing in the kitchen. I have to give Teagan her medicine. I'll just be a minute." I thinly brush the thrush medication on the patches then put her in the bassinet so she can sleep then join our guests at the dinner table.

"Tris, you did a wonderful job on super," Zeke says as he pushes his empty plate away. "I could have sworn my mom made it."

"I agree," Shauna says. "I didn't think anyone made spaghetti and meatballs the way she does but I've been proven wrong."

"That's sweet of you guys to say." Tyler is sitting across from me and his eyes keep shutting and his head sways. I point it out to Tobias who picks him up and carries him upstairs. About 10 minutes later he comes back just as Shauna and I are finishing our meals.

"He's out for the night," he says. "Shall we move this into the living room?" I pick Tessa up and get her butterfly out of the refrigerator and hand it to her. She shoves it in her mouth and coos contentedly. I sit down on the love seat next to Tobias and Zeke and Shauna sit on the couch.

"What's the latest on Will and Tori?" Zeke says. Tobias tells then everything about Will's injuries and what progress he's made so far.

"The last time I talked to Zander he told me that Will should be able to go home tomorrow," he says.

"That's great news," I say, hearing it for the first time along with our guests.

"Tori's story isn't as bright." They sit on the edge of their seats taking in every word Tobias says about her injuries, memory loss, second attempt on her life, and the marriage proposal.

"You've got to be kidding me?" Zeke says. "That's horrible. I know she can be a pain in the ass sometimes but no one deserves what she's going through. Maybe it's best if she doesn't remember."

"That seems like the general consensus," I say.

"We do have a plan to get Molly, Drew, and Lauren's DNA," Tobias says telling them about having them followed.

"What about the redhead?" Shauna asks. "Olivia, right? Shouldn't we be getting her DNA also just to be on the safe side?"

"That's actually a good idea," he says.

"I don't know how I could forget her but so much of the circumstantial evidence we have right now points only at Molly, Drew, and Lauren that the bitch is kind of out of sight, out of mind. We haven't had any trouble from her since Teagan was born but you're right. We were told to watch her, too."

"Did either of you come up with a way to use Lauren and Molly's connection against them?" Tobias asks.

"Not really," Shauna says.

"You might not like it," Zeke says.

"What is it?"

"Arrest Kirsten for the crimes and announce to Dauntless that she's responsible for everything," he says. "Hold her here for a few days then transfer her to Candor for a closed interrogation. Molly and Lauren would think that they're in the clear. I can almost guarantee they will try something else … something that says, 'Hey, look at me. You got the wrong person, fool.'"

"I can guarantee that Kirsten won't like that plan," I say.

"What would be the reason she did it?" Tobias says. "If I'm going to literally wreck her life for a few days, her motive has to be legitimate." We all stare at each other for a few minutes until an idea pops into my mind.

"Let's keep it simple," I say. "Revenge. Revenge on the faction that turned her into an outcast after Dante was found to be a spy, revenge on her friends who didn't believe in her innocence and turned their backs on her, revenge on the leaders who did nothing to stop the execution of her loving husband."

"When you put it like that, she really sounds like the true perpetrator," Zeke says.

"The question is, do we tell her our plan before we execute it?" I ask. " _If_ we execute it."

"It may be cruel but I think it will be more realistic to arrest her in public then tell her our plan later and beg for her forgiveness," Tobias says. "I actually like the plan but it doesn't guarantee Molly will make a move."

"What if we publicly humiliated her?" I ask.

"How?" Shauna asks.

"We arrest Kirsten in the cafeteria, making sure Lauren is there to witness it. We then make an announcement that our previous suspect, Molly Atwood, a disgraced, former Dauntless initiate has been cleared of all charges because basically it's been found that she isn't smart enough to have orchestrated a crime this elaborate. If I'm not mistaken, that will make Lauren run directly to her and unless we're wrong about Molly's need for revenge, I think it will cause her to make a move, and we'll be there to catch her." Tobias, Zeke, and Shauna look at each other then start nodding.

"How did your wife become so diabolical?" Zeke asks. "Are you sure you were born in Abnegation, Tris?" I roll my eyes at his absurdity. Tessa starts whining so I cradle her in my arms and massage her sore gums. She holds on to my hand while she gnaws on my finger.

"How about you chew on this?" I ask as I replace my finger with her butterfly. "Mommy's finger is not a teether."

"When do we enact the plan?" Shauna asks.

"Monday at the earliest," Tobias says. "Tris and I are going to Abnegation to talk to her father and brother about the serum Molly's using. Hopefully, we get some answers about where it came from and how it fell into her hands. There's one other thing that we need to talk about." He looks at Zeke and Shauna and asks, "Do you guys remember Marty Turner?" This is a name that I'm 99% sure I've never heard before.

"Eric's sleazy little friend from initiation?" Shauna asks with a look of disgust on her face.

"That would be the one," Tobias says then he looks my way and seeing my confusion says, "Eric only had one friend in Dauntless because no one else could stand him and his name was Marty Turner. Unfortunately, he's a clone of Eric." Why have I not heard about this guy before now if he's as bad as Eric? "He didn't do well during initiation and has been assigned to the fence for the past three years. He also had a huge crush on Lauren but she made it painfully obvious to the entire compound that her feelings would never be reciprocated." Okay. Interesting. "Anyway, I've been doing some research on how the car that disappeared the night Tori did got all the way out to Amity. I called up the gate logs and besides regularly scheduled deliveries to and from Amity there's no record of the gate opening since two days before Tori disappeared. So I dug a little deeper and found that Marty was the one scheduled that night on gate duty. I wouldn't have thought too much about it but I've seen him palling around with Lauren in the cafeteria on more than one occasion this past week. All of a sudden, they look pretty chummy."

"She would whore herself out for Molly?" I ask, disgusted. I didn't think I could lose any more respect for Lauren Jones but I was wrong. Not only is she a murderer but she's also a prostitute.

"It seems like he did her a favor and now she's dating him," he says. "I know you already have your plate overfull, Zeke, but I need you to see if you can follow Marty's movements over the past few weeks. We've always assumed the male DNA was Drew's but with this revelation, it could be Marty's. Like I told Tris earlier, if we could just find the weak link, we could unravel their plans."

"So tomorrow you'll investigate the serum and I'll surveil Marty," Zeke sighs. "Wanna trade?"

"Sorry, bud. No can do," Tobias says. "Another thing. If we have to enact the plan with Kirsten, you'll have to pull all current surveillance off of Molly and her minions, Shauna. We don't know if they've been made or not. If they have, they'll never believe we think Kirsten is behind everything if we're still watching them. Have replacements ready to go in."

"Okay, Four," he says. "What about gathering DNA?"

"Put a couple people on it. Someone you trust wholeheartedly. Maybe younger, innocent faces would be less assuming."

"I have a couple people in mind especially for this job but they aren't mine," she says.

"Who?" he asks.

"Brody and Ana," she says. "Brody has a reason to be in the factionless sector. He has family there. Maybe he's visiting his mother, introducing his girlfriend, and sees Molly chewing on a straw. He would know how to interact with these people."

"As much as I hate it … and I really do, I don't want them put in harm's way … it's a brilliant plan. I never would have thought to use Brody that way but he has to agree to it. Ana too. You can't order them. They're both good Dauntless members and I don't want him getting caught up in his old life."

"There's one slight flaw with that plan," Tobias says. "Ana works for Lauren." I forgot about that. "There would be no way to surreptitiously send her to the factionless sector."

"There would have to be a good reason why Brody would want to take Ana there," I say. "Meet his mother would be one. Maybe something to do with Faith."

"If we can get by without using his dead sister, I'd like the plan better," Tobias says. "Talk to Brody tomorrow, Zeke. See what he says."

"I'll call him in to help me with the footage and bring up the topic," he says. Tessa yawns then starts fussing. I look at the clock and she shouldn't be hungry but she's giving me multiple cues.

"I think we've overstayed our welcome," Shauna says as he looks at the clock herself.

"We're not running you off," I say. "I'm just surprised she's hungry again so soon. It's going to be another long night I'm afraid."

"I think we should go," Zeke says. He and Shauna get up off the couch and move toward the door and Tobias and I follow behind them. "I think we made some good progress tonight on what we're going to do. Are you going to fill in Will?"

"When he comes back to work," Tobias says. "I don't want to overwhelm him. He needs rest. He's already struggling to remember something that might never return. I don't want to tell him our plans then have him think he's not pulling his weight. Something else I need from both of you soon is an idea of who to replace Harrison. I'm drawing a blank. If you can think of someone, let me know."

"You got it, Four," they both say.

"Thanks again for the wonderful supper," Shauna says. "We should do this more often, not just when there is a crisis in Dauntless."

"I agree," I say. We give hugs and say our goodbyes then watch as they disappear down the stairs. After we walk back into the apartment, he double checks the locks. "That really was a productive night." I sit down in my chair and put Tessa to my breast and she latches on with ease. "Little one, you shouldn't be hungry again so soon." Tobias collapses onto the couch, puts his feet up on the coffee table, and runs his hands aggressively over his face then through his hair. "You can talk to me." He's silent for a while then he sighs.

"Is it worth the possibility of losing good friends forever just to apprehend Molly?" he asks. "I'm not just talking about Kirsten either. What about Ciara, Ella, and James? I'd include Trevor and Stefan, too, but I don't know them very well, not yet but I genuinely like them both. If we publicly humiliate her, who's to say we don't lose all of them in the name of catching a problem we created. And then there's Brody and Ana. Using them is brilliant but it's exactly that … _using them_. God! Sometimes I hate that making all these decisions ultimately ends with me. I still say it would be so much easier to just bring in Molly, Drew, and Lauren and execute them in the center of the Pit." I take a deep, breath, not exactly knowing why to say. "It's alright if you don't have the answers … I don't either."

"I don't want to lose anyone either, and if we don't stop Molly, there's a chance that she could take someone else away from us forever. I think in the end, after Molly and her minions are in custody and they learn how hard this decision was for us to make, that everyone will forgive us. She _has_ to be stopped."

"You're right, love," he says. "I'm going to clean up the kitchen." He leans over and gives me a tender kiss then heads into the kitchen. I hear clangs and clatter as I finish nursing Tessa. Instead of being her usually jovial self when she finishes, she lies in my arms with a frown on her face chewing on her hand.

"I sure hope that tooth pops through soon so you start feeling better," I say. I massage her gums, and this time she doesn't try to use me as a chew toy. After a while her eyelids droop and she falls asleep. "I love you, little one." Just as soon as she's down, Peanut starts fussing. I close my eyes and sigh. Tobias comes into the room and takes Tessa from me.

"I'll put her to bed," he says. "You can take care of Peanut."

"Then some Tris and Tobias time?" I ask, my voice hopeful.

"Definitely," he says. He leans in but hesitates a moment before his lips meet mine. The kiss if full of promise of what's to come. "Take your time, love."

"Don't fall asleep, baby," I say, causing him to chuckle. I watch him carry Tessa up the stairs until I can't see him anymore then I pick Peanut up. "Hey, baby girl. Are you still miserable?" I can see in her eyes that she is. I give her the last dose of antibiotics and acetaminophen for the day then sit down to nurse her. She eats more than she has at any one sitting for the past few days, which hopefully is a sign that she's feeling better. When she's done I carry her up to our bedroom intending on putting her in her crib for the night but my husband is lying naked on the bed … asleep so I put her in the bassinet after changing her into some PJs. I slip out of my clothing, craving the feeling of his skin on mine then get the sheet and quilt off the floor, drape it over Tobias, and then slip in beside him. "Goodnight, sleepyhead. I love you." He grunts his reply as I cuddle up next to him after kissing his cheek and go to sleep.


	92. Chapter 92

Our black sedan rolls to a stop in front of my parent's simple house, the sounds of an unseasonably warm Sunday morning coming through my open window. As Tobias is turning off the ignition, Tyler is in the backseat between his sleeping sisters bouncing up and down excitedly in his car seat. He's been extremely hyper since we told him our plans for the day after baths and breakfast were over.

"Tyler! Calm down, buddy," I quietly say, turning in my seat to look at him. "Don't wake your sisters."

"I sowwy," he says. Usually scolding him makes him pout but not today. His eyes are bright and his mood is light. He's so excited to see my mom and dad. Tobias and I quietly get the girls out of the car then unbuckle Tyler. Once he's free, he flies up the walkway. Almost like she has a sixth sense, my mom opens the door just in time for Tyler to launch himself into her open arms.

"Hello, my sweet boy," she says, hugging him tightly.

"Hi, Gwamma!" he says returning her hug just as fiercely then he leans back and gives her a big, wet kiss right on the mouth. "I miss you this much." He stretches his arms out as far as he can.

"That's how much Grandpa and I missed you," she says.

"I thought I heard a racket," Dad says with a chuckle as he steps out of the house, a bright smile turning up his lips. I study their faces, and they look so much more relaxed than the last time I saw them. He holds his arms out to Tyler who immediately goes to him. Tobias and I walk up to the happy reunion carrying Tessa and Teagan who are still napping in their car seats.

"You look tired, Beatrice," Mom says as she ushers us inside the house. The aroma of a typical plain Abnegation meal welcomes me when I cross the threshold.

"I am," I sigh unable to hide my fatigue. "Neither of the girls are feeling very well, and they had me up most of the night."

"Poor babies," she says as she gets Tessa out of her seat. I pick up Peanut and realize she's a bit warm so I take off her gray, mint green, pastel pink, and white hoodie with cute little ears, leaving her in matching mint green pants and a white short-sleeved onesie with a mint green bow on the front. Her eyes flutter open, and she starts crying. "Ssh. You're okay." I press my lips to her forehead and can tell that she's feverish without having to retrieve the thermometer from her diaper bag. I then check to see if she's hungry, and she grimaces when she tries to suckle my finger.

"What's wrong with her?" Mom asks, concern clear in her voice.

"Double ear infection and something called thrush," I say.

"Oh, yes," she says, nodding her head. "Unfortunately, you and your brother both had it more than once when you were infants so I know what you're dealing with."

"I'm going to try and nurse her," I say. I first give her a dose of acetaminophen then try to put her to my breast. She latches on and suckles for a couple minutes but releases me and cries louder. "It's been a very trying 24 hours with Teagan, and poor Tessa is cutting her first tooth so she's been really moody. As a matter of fact, I think it popped through sometime early this morning but it's very faint so I'm not 100% sure." Mom sticks her finger in Tessa's mouth, and a huge smile curls up her lips.

"I can feel it," she says. "The worst should be over for her until the next tooth comes in." After working really hard, Peanut settles into a nice, steady rhythm and stops making faces like she's in pain. I don't know what helped but I'm grateful for whatever it is. "Your father told me a little about the reason for your visit today not that you need a reason to come over. How are your friends, Will and Tori is it?"

"Tori isn't doing so well. She's stable, which is good but when Dr. Parrish tried to talk to her about what happened her vitals spiked, and she had to be sedated again. He's not sure if her reaction is because she remembers what she went through and she just wants to forget or if she can't remember and she panics whenever she tries. She's resting in a private room in the infirmary. Four and Dr. Parrish have talked about transferring her to the hospital in town for specialized care but we're not sure that's the best course of action for her or not," I say. "Will was able to go home this morning. We're all thrilled. He still has some memory loss and headaches. The doctor says the headaches should resolve within the week but, unfortunately, he isn't optimistic about his memory returning. His case reminds me a lot of Dad's."

"Did I hear my name?" he says as he comes into the room carrying Tyler followed closely by Tobias. He sits in his chair, and Tobias sits down next to me and lays his arm on the couch behind me.

"Mom and I were just talking about my friend, Will," I say. "He has some memory loss from the attack he sustained the other day at the Navy Pier."

"Him comed home today!" Tyler brightly says but then his face falls. "Chwissy cwied." He sticks his bottom lip out remembering Christina in the hallway bawling like a baby when Will knocked on her door and surprised her. Tobias left before breakfast while I was getting the girls ready for the day to see how the patients were doing and shocked us all by escorting him home.

"Dad, did your memory ever come back?" I ask. We all know what I'm talking about. The details don't need to be rehashed.

"No, I'm afraid it didn't," he says. "It was odd having to learn the details of a very important event in my life from a third party. When I was sitting there in Candor listening to what they did to me during their interrogations, I could picture every single detail and I thought _maybe_ they were coming back to me but I finally realized that instead of the images playing like memories they were playing more like a movie. It took a long time to come to terms with the fact that I would never remember. Thankfully, the assault didn't take any other memories. That morning nearly destroyed me in more ways than one." I knit my brows together confused. _What's he talking about?_ "Tyler, why don't you go upstairs and play? There are some new books you can look at and a few new puzzles Grandma and I got especially for you. Your Mommy told me that you love puzzles."

"Okay, Gwampa," he happily says. He gets off his lap and very calmly walks to the nearly hidden staircase and disappears.

"I'm sorry to send him away like that but I thought it best we speak in private and before Caleb and Cara get here," Dad says with a warm smile on his face. Mom gets up from her chair, hands Tessa who just woke up to Tobias, then sits down beside Dad on the arm of his rickety old easy chair. Hopefully it hold up under the weight of two. He puts one arm around her lovingly and reaches across his body to grasp her hand gently. "Beatrice, you were always a perceptive girl and very inquisitive. I wasn't as surprised that you left Abnegation as you thought. That curious nature certainly hasn't changed now that you are an adult. You saw that your mother and I were…" He pauses like he's searching for the perfect word.

"Struggling," Mom quietly says, finishing the thought for him.

"Yes, _struggling_ since the day of the shooting at the council meeting," he says. He glances up at my mother and gives her an apologetic look, and she squeezes his hand. "This isn't easy for me to talk about. Your mother and I are highly private people, and as you know, it's selfish to talk about one's self but you are the only one to voice your concerns so we thought we'd put your fears to rest.

"That second brain injury changed me and, unfortunately, not for the better. It made me moody, critical, irritable, _irrational_ , and so full of anger; anger at myself for being weak, at your mother for coddling me, and at the men who hurt me, well, simply for what they did. I was even angry at you and Four for a time in my irrational state, thinking you were to blame." That's painful to hear because there were many times I blamed myself for his injuries because the people were after Tobias and me, and he was only collateral damage to them. "My memory has suffered also. Words no longer come to me on demand as you just witnessed. I sometimes call people by the wrong name. I've been terribly depressed, almost to the point of suicide." I can't silence my gasp before it flies out of my mouth, and Tobias tightens his grip on me. "I said _almost_ , Beatrice. I could never do anything so hurtful and selfish. It's totally against my nature. I know that now." He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath and when he opens them he continues.

"There was a time not that long ago I couldn't see anything because anger and frustration were consuming me. I would be fine, perfectly content one minute and raging about something inconsequential the next. I started taking my frustrations out on your mother. I would verbally attack her for no apparent reason then hate myself for doing it but I wouldn't allow myself to apologize because I felt that was a sign of weakness, and I was already feeling impotent." He stops for a moment, hanging his head while he remains eerily silent.

"It all came to a head right before you gave birth to Teagan. Your mother gave me an ultimatum: Get help or we were done, and I didn't have to think twice. There was no way I was losing the love of my life and the mother of my children but, to give us both the time and space we needed to heal, we separated while I sought treatment." They both look at me for a moment, probably thinking I'll say something but I'm too stunned to speak. "I contacted Dr. Wilson for help. Before I left the hospital after my procedure, he told your mother and me to be on the lookout for changes in my behavior but I thought I could handle it myself, and it nearly cost me everything. He arranged for me to stay in a room at the hospital for four weeks. I had so many tests run to see if there was an underlying cause to my symptoms and after everything else was ruled out, I was diagnosed with mild traumatic brain injury because of repeated blows to the head. Dr. Wilson and another doctor named Dr. Phillips have helped me a lot. They've given me strategies and tools to use when I feel myself spiraling out of control. I joined a support group for others with injuries like mine. I meditate and jog." He chuckles. "That took a lot of convincing on the doctors' parts because Abnegation considers focusing on one's self selfish. But they persuaded me that taking care of my health is not selfish, it's the right thing to do. I've been home with your mother for nearly a week and things are wonderful." He looks up at my mom, a bashful look on his face. "Well, _I_ think they are wonderful."

"They are," she says.

"I know you were worried about us, Beatrice," he says. "Now you know that we have things under control. The last five weeks have not only helped me personally but professionally as well." He pauses for a moment, looking at me like he's debating something. "There's another reason why we decided to tell you this. Your friend Will has had multiple head injuries, right?"

"Yes, he has," I say. After thinking about it, I remember that Dr. Young and Wesley Harkin also knocked him unconscious during the whole Maria fiasco. "But what does this have to do with Will?"

"It might not have anything at all to do with him," Dad says. "Not everyone develops what I have but a large number of people with head injuries do experience some level of changes in their behavior and personality. You saw that there was a problem with me before your mother and I did. Talk to your friend, watch him, warn him _and_ his wife. Don't be afraid to confide in them if you think you see changes. He'll thank you one day."

"I don't know what to think," I say. "You're sure that everything is back to normal?"

"That's not what I said," Dad says. "I'll never be the same man I was before I hit my head during the shooting. He's gone forever. I know that. Your mom knows that. It's been difficult but I've come to terms with it."

"So have I," Mom says. I take a deep breath then slowly blow it out.

"I'm sorry that this happened because of me," I say and everyone starts talking at once. "Wait, guys! I know that what happened wasn't my fault and I put the blame squarely where it's due ... on Maria, Erin, Dr. Young, and Wesley Harkin but if they hadn't been after Four and me in the first place, they never would have targeted you." I get up and start pacing in the small space. "Now we have someone else who is targeting us. We've been warned about her plan by someone I believe. First, she's going after our friends and then she's targeting our family. If she learns you are vulnerable to another head injury, you would be next on her list. I'm not sure how much more of this I can deal with." Tobias gets up and stops my pacing by putting his free arm around me.

"Is this where the Frankenstein Serum comes into play?" Dad asks.

"Yes," I say. "She's killed three people using it and administered it to a fourth but, luckily, she pulled through."

"How is that possible?" Dad asks, his brows furrowed.

"She's not in stable condition so we haven't been able to confirm it but ... we think she's Divergent and was able to fight off the death serum component like I was," I say.

"Why is this girl attacking your friends?" Mom asks.

"Peter Hayes," Tobias says. I hate myself but I flinch at the sound of his name. "The _bastard_ is causing trouble from beyond his grave."

"Until recently we thought that Molly and Drew, two of my fellow initiates, were just close friends with him but the truth is they're family," I say. "She also holds me personally accountable for her being thrown out of Dauntless, which is the furthest thing from the truth. I'm not responsible for her low ranking and the old leaders' rules. I don't think she suspects that I'm Divergent but she does think that I cheated my way to my ranking and that Four helped me. We recently learned that she went to at least one of the old leaders right before they were arrested and lodged a formal complaint. She's told multiple people that I'm living the life that should be hers and that I should be factionless."

"That will never happen as long as I'm the leader of the council," Dad says. A knock on the door interrupts us and I know that Caleb and Cara are here. "Please don't mention our problems to Caleb. He doesn't know anything about them, and that's how we would like it to remain."

"You have our word," Tobias says while I smile and nod. Mom and Dad give us each a hug as they pass by then we sit back down on the couch. "We have a lot to talk about later, don't we?"

"Yes," I say with a sigh. "I'm glad I can talk to you about it. I love you, Tobias."

"I love you, too, Beatrice," he says.

"You're very lucky I love that name rolling off your lips," I say as I place my mouth on his. The kiss is tender and love-filled but very quick. He pulls away then kisses my temple. I check on Peanut and find that she fell asleep and I sigh.

"What is it, love?" he asks.

"She's asleep again," I say. "I hate to wake her but I've got to give her the thrush medicine." I lay her down on my legs and dig the medication out of the diaper bag. After getting a small amount of it on the swab, I hold her mouth open with one hand and tend to the patches with the other one, being extremely careful not to let any of the gel spill from the swab and choke her. Miraculously, she sleeps through the entire thing. "Maybe I should do it when she sleeping from now on. That wasn't bad at all." I pick her up and hold her against my chest and pat her back, hoping to get her to burp again.

"Hello, everyone," Caleb says as he enters the room. "Mom wanted me to tell you that lunch is ready."

"Hi," I say. "Can you do us a favor? Tyler is upstairs playing in your old room. Can you go get him?"

"Too late, little sis," he says. "Dad already went to get him. Are you sure the people who live in this house are our parents?" He laughs heartily. "Can you believe they turned my room into a playroom? We weren't even allowed to have toys!"

"I've had the same thought before," I say. Tobias and I get up and follow Caleb into the kitchen. I try to put Peanut in her car seat so she can nap while we eat but she immediately wake ups and starts crying so I pick her back up. She seems to only be content in my arms right now.

"Tessa and Teagan are joining us for lunch," Tobias says as we sit down around my parents' table, which they put the leaf in. When I was growing up, I often wondered what it would look like.

"The more the merrier," Dad says as he sits Tyler in the booster seat between Tobias and me. We catch up over the simple fare. Dad tells us all about Abnegation business then Mom speaks about her new job, which she obviously loves. Caleb and Cara talk about wedding planning, and I get the feeling she's having problems with her mother. Tobias and I regale the table with stories of our children. _When did we become_ those _parents?_ We try to keep the subject off of Dauntless and its troubles during the meal. There will be enough of that later. After we finish lunch, Tobias gives Tessa to my father and I give Peanut to my mother, and we help Caleb and Cara clean up the kitchen as a thank you to our parents for a wonderful meal. Tyler goes upstairs to play but since he was yawning through the second half of the meal, when I check on him I find him curled up in a little ball in the middle of Caleb's old bed sound asleep next to a couple open books.

"Sleep well, buddy," I say as I kiss his forehead then I drag the soft gray blanket from the bottom of the bed up to cover him. I close the door behind me as I get ready to go downstairs and run into Tobias coming out of the bathroom. "Hi."

"Hello," he says. "Is Tyler asleep? He looked exhausted."

"Yeah," I say. "I think his excitement got the best of him."

"Shall we get business out of the way so we can enjoy the rest of our day?" he asks. I cup his cheeks and pull his mouth to mine. His soft lips are firm as they move slowly against mine. As the kiss deepens, his tongue slips into my mouth and strokes mine. We cling to one another as the kiss intensifies. Suddenly, he pulls away from me, panting rapidly. "You know I'm all for public displays and Abnegation is on both our lists but," he puts his lips right up against my ear, "I'm not having sex with you in your parent's house."

"I'm sorry," I quietly say. "I guess we got carried away."

"You could say that," he says, shifting slightly and my mouth falls open. He's aroused … very, _very_ aroused. I release him from my embrace and take a step back, embarrassed. His state isn't good for either of us. If we were any other place, we'd find a quiet corner and satisfy this sudden, crushing desire we're both feeling but he's right, I'm _not_ having sex in my mom and dad's house. I'd be mortified if they caught us. "Why don't you go downstairs and I'll be down soon. I love you."

"I love you, too." I unthinkingly move to kiss him again and he stops me and shakes his head. I mouth "sorry" then skulk down the stairs and into the living room.

"Mom, do you mind if I make a pot of coffee?"

"There's a fresh pot brewing on the stove," she says as she makes faces at Tessa who is giggling as she chews on her fist.

"Does anyone else want a cup?" I ask. Everyone nods and I go into the kitchen and pour 6 mugs. I deliver them two at a time and when I return with mine and Tobias', he is sitting on the end of the couch. "Here you go." I hand him the mug of black coffee then sit down beside him.

"I don't want to put a damper on the day but I think we need to talk about what I called you here for," Tobias says. "Tris and I need some help. We have a deranged ex-initiate who is wreaking havoc around Dauntless. She and her coconspirators have killed three people and injured one other using what our infirmary doctor refers to as an advanced death serum. Andrew, Tris remembered a conversation she heard between you and Natalie one night at the dinner table stating that new serums or changes to existing ones have to have council approval. Is that true?"

"Yes," Dad says. He sits his empty mug on the small table next to his chair and leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Although, we haven't given any approval for new serums for quite some time. As a matter of fact, when Jeanine had the long distance simulation serum created, she did it without consent from the council. I double checked our records."

"She was an expert at circumventing the rules," Caleb says. "I'm ashamed I ever looked up to the woman."

"You referenced a Frankenstein Serum, Dad," I say. "What can you tell us about that?"

"About seven years ago, Jeanine Matthews put a request into the council to begin experimenting with the death serum," he says, opening a folder beside him and retrieving an official-looking document then hands it to Tobias. "We talked at length about what the ramifications of such experimentation would be. The council was split down the middle but the vote that bore the most weight, Marcus', pushed the vote Jeanine's way. Although, I was under the impression that their tests failed since there was no approval sought for a new serum. I think we all know better now."

Tobias turns to Caleb and Cara and asks, "What did you learn about this from your end?"

"I went to our records room to search our files, and when I couldn't find any information associated with serum experimentation or new serum formulation, I went to Gavin to ask him if he knew anything about it," Caleb says. "During the timeframe you gave me, he was our top researcher, and researchers and scientists usually keep meticulous notes so I knew it was strange that the data was missing."

"Gavin Scott?" Tobias asks, interrupting him. "The current leader of Erudite?"

"Yes, and before you ask, I know we've all been burned in the past by Jeanine and Asher but Gavin is completely trustworthy," he says, not unkindly. "Don't you agree, Cara?"

"Completely," she says. "He's a great man, Four, brilliant, too."

"I wasn't questioning his loyalties," Tobias patiently says. The last thing we want right now is a pissing match over which faction is better. "I'm just trying to get the facts straight. Go on."

"Gavin knew exactly what I was talking about when I mentioned advanced death serum and was very forthcoming and apologetic when we spoke. At the time the serum was first made, Jeanine was a junior leader with high ideals and some interesting ideas for our faction but she was already showing signs of discrimination against Abnegation. She had such a persuasive, charming personality that people went along with whatever she had to say, right or wrong, with little to no question. She had been promoted to her position within that year, and one day out of the blue with no input from her fellow more experienced leaders or the rest of the faction system for that matter, she decided the city needed a new and improved death serum. Since serum work was not her specialty, she enlisted the help of Asher Parrish, Gavin, who like I said was at the top of his field at that time, and a few lab assistants whose names he doesn't recall. They drew up a plan as to what they wanted to accomplish and approached the council with the request to develop a new serum. It took a few weeks but they were given the approval they sought. Jeanine sequestered the team away in a remote laboratory outside headquarters, which he said has since been closed down to do the experiments. She was looking for a specific result so she had them experimenting extensively with all the serums, not just the death serum."

"All the serums?" Tobias says, brows furrowed, and Caleb nods his head. "Did he ever find out what the reason was?"

"Apparently, she kept her reasoning to herself and never shared what her specific plan was but he became more and more suspicious of her motives. The longer the team was locked away together, the more the real Jeanine showed through. She spewed hate about Abnegation and spread misinformation that the others ate up like it was their last meal but it only caused Gavin to mistrust her. After he mixed various serums together, creating numerous new ones, and testing them on lab rats, literally and figuratively, he feared that she was wanting to use the final product on specific targets for personal reasons."

"Wait a minute," I say, horrified. "Back up. These serums were tested on _people_?" I can't hide my hatred of the woman who could have singlehandedly destroyed our city. She truly was an evil monster.

"Yes, they were administered to prisoners who had been handed death sentences at Candor after they were tested on the mice and rats," Caleb says. "Some of the serums did absolutely nothing at all while others were extraordinarily cruel. Those seemed to be the ones she was drawn to and wanted to perfect. The death serum is meant to hand down swift justice. It's administered and within seconds you die. It's humane. The worse serum they created once took over 24 hours for the recipient to die." Sounds of shock, horror, and disgust echo around the room. "That's when Gavin had enough. He went to the other leaders and exposed the experimentation, and they shut everything down and ordered all the serums destroyed. But all they gave Jeanine was a slap on the wrist and it was never mentioned again … until you called, Four."

"Do you know if anyone survived the serum during the trials?" I ask, thinking of Tori.

"There was one," he says. "He was given the Frankenstein Serum as Dad calls it but instead of succumbing, he regained consciousness after approximately six hours. This was exciting for them, especially Jeanine so she ordered him to be studied but they never made any headway as to why he was immune." I'm sure he was Divergent, which she probably suspected.

"Gavin told me an interesting tidbit I thought you should know about. Who knows, it might come in useful one day," Cara says. "When they were experimenting with combining all the serums, they found out through trial and error that peace serum counteracts the effects of the other serums. His example was mixing truth serum and peace serum allowed the participant to lie under the truth serum interrogation."

"Andrew, are you sure the council knew nothing of this?" Tobias asks. I know where his mind is. Maybe Marcus isn't Divergent like we thought. Maybe he has a strange laboratory set up in Tobias' childhood room, concocting serums for his own personal use.

"I'm confident the council knew nothing of Jeanine's plans," he says but then he pauses. "I also can't imagine that she would have confided in your father what she was up to. They were the very definition of bitter enemies." Ah, his mind went to Marcus' interrogation where he was able to lie under truth serum, too.

"Gavin gave me this to give to you," Caleb says, pulling a folded sheet of paper from his pocket. "I told you researchers keep meticulous notes. Well, he looked through some of his personal files and found the formulas for the various serums that were tested. He wants you to compare the ingredient lists and if they are the same report it to him immediately." Tobias reaches over and takes the list from him.

"I'm going to have to wait until I get home to compare the two but I already know the simulation aspect will be different," he says. "Whoever made the Frankenstein Serum being used today used the long range simulation serum Jeanine created to overthrow Abnegation."

"But that's impossible," Cara says. "It was all destroyed. Andrew, you were there."

"He already confirmed for us that what was stored at Erudite was destroyed but Jeanine didn't keep an accurate inventory. Someone could have taken a few cases and no one would ever know it."

"Do either of you know how difficult it is to mix serums?" I ask. "The new serum is made up of a stimulant, a sedative, the long range simulation serum, and death serum. Does it need to be mixed in a lab or is it as easy as pouring the proper amount of each ingredient into a beaker then filling a syringe?"

"I really don't know," Cara says.

"It's definitely not my area of expertise," Caleb says, "but it seems like from what Gavin told me, if you have the formula and the ingredients you can mix up a batch at home."

"Where would factionless get the ingredients?" I ponder out loud. I notice Caleb and Cara steal a glance at each other. "What is it?"

"We had a breach in security approximately six weeks before initiation began," Caleb says. "Security cameras were accessed remotely and turned off but we didn't know it until after the fact because they created a loop that played for our security team. It wasn't until your phone call that we decided to do an inventory of the serum storage. There was discrepancies with the counts of all serums, expect for the simulation serum, which now makes perfect sense if they are using a serum we didn't know existed anymore."

"Did you find the culprit?" Tobias asks as he rakes his fingers through his hair.

"No," he says. "We've had our best programmers trying to trace the hack but they've had no luck."

"That's because she's probably smarter than your top 10 programmers put together," I say.

"She?" Caleb sits a little straighter, definitely interested in this information.

"Yeah, her name is Lauren Jones, and she's one of ours," I say. "She did the same thing at Dauntless. She accessed our surveillance feeds and turned everything off for a certain amount of time that let Molly and her minions kill our friend Tori's boyfriend and then kidnap her."

"If she's so good, how did you catch her?" Cara asks.

"Well, we haven't exactly caught her yet," Tobias says, "but I honestly think we're getting closer. We just need some physical evidence that irrefutably says she did it."

"I wonder if Callen could find any evidence of her digital intrusion," I say, noticing everyone's curious looks. "He and his girlfriend are the ones who identified some software installed on Four's work computer that allows Lauren to remotely access it. They're also the ones who confirmed our suspicions about her in the first place."

"I don't think it would be safe for him to go to Erudite," Tobias says. "He doesn't have a good excuse for going there. He might be able to talk to one of your programmers and tell them what to look for. Apparently, she hides her tracks well. They stumbled onto them quite by accident on my computer." Tyler comes bounding down the stairs then, suddenly remembering where he is stops dead in his tracks.

"Sowwy!" he says then he walks up to Tobias and me. I can tell that he's just woken up. "Can I have a dwink?"

"Of course, you can," I say as I get to my feet. He holds his arms up to me, and I can't help but pick him up. He lays his head on my shoulder and wraps his arms around my neck as I hold him tightly. Tobias hands me a sippy cup out of the diaper bag then I go into the kitchen to get him some milk. I manage to get the cup filled half way without putting him down because he's very clingy at the moment. "Here you go, buddy."

"Thanks," he says as he takes it from me and drinks almost all of it.

"Wow, you were thirsty," I say. "Would you like a little more?" He nods so I refill his cup then head back toward the living room. Just as I'm walking by the door, someone knocks, and I jump nearly a foot. "I'll get it." I open the door, and I can't believe my eyes. Tyler can't believe his either. He starts whimpering and his sippy cup slips from his fingers and bounces on the floor, coming to a rest against the closet door. He tightens his grip around my neck, nearly cutting my airway off then buries his head in my shoulder. "What the hell are you doing here?" I spit.


	93. Chapter 93

I stand in the open doorway of my parent's home staring into the eyes of one of the last people I want to see today or any other day for that matter. There was a time not that long ago that I thought it was impossible for me to hate someone but I know better now. I've been victimized one too many times this past year, and I now know pure hatred. I've felt it creep through my veins like a thick, toxic sludge, threatening to consume me. I feel it now but I refuse to allow this so-called _man_ standing before me to ruin my day. I know I should be civil but I can't help but remember his ploy to hang onto his dead lover by trying to take _my_ son away from me, and every time I look at him, I can't help but recall that he almost succeeded. I take a deep, calming, cleansing breath, hold it in for a few seconds, and then blow it out but unfortunately it doesn't help.

"I asked you a question, Mr. Black," I say, trying my best to keep my voice steady and calm for Tyler's sake. "What are you doing here?" I feel Tobias approach before I see him and Dad out of the corner of my eye but it does nothing to calm me.

"What's going on here?" Dad asks as he cranes his neck to see around the open door. When he lays eyes on our uninvited guest, his entire demeanor changes, and I think I'm witnessing firsthand the "new" man he referenced earlier. "We have no business today, Ethan. You shouldn't be here. I politely asked you to stay away from my family, especially Beatrice and her children but now I'm demanding it. Get off my property _Black_ or there will be hell to pay." Tobias reacts, too, although silently. He rests his hands on my hips with a firm pressure. Whether he's keeping me rooted in place so I don't cause a scene or he's making sure he doesn't grab the unwelcome visitor in front of us by the throat and throw him out I don't know.

"I came to see if you would reconsider letting me see my children," he says, looking me in the eye, his words slurring slightly as he sways. Apparently, this pathetic excuse for a human being needed liquid courage before approaching us because the smell of alcohol drifts on the air between us, turning my stomach. When he hears this, Tobias' grip becomes quite painful, and Tyler's whole body begins trembling as he clings to me for dear life. Even though I have a few choice words for the sperm donor, I won't traumatize my boy any further than he already has been because of this piece of shit.

"Baby, I need you to go to your Grandma in the living room," I say to Tyler who still has his face buried in my neck.

"No," he whines, barely audible.

"Honey, Daddy and I need to talk to Mr. Black," I say. It's like a dagger goes through my heart when he flinches at the name. "I won't be long. I promise. I'm going to set you down and you run in there to Grandma. Okay?" He finally lifts his head and looks at me, tears streaming down his face as sobs rack his body. I get choked up as I try to kiss his tears away but there are just too many. I wonder if there will ever come a time that he isn't terrified that he will have to live with his biological father. He nods almost imperceptibly and after I set him on his feet, he takes off like a shot toward the living room. Dad, Tobias, and I move at once and an elbow gouges me in the ribs, my knees bang into someone else's, and a large booted foot steps on me … twice. I grab Ethan by his arm, spin him around as I walk past him, and drag him outside.

"Let's take this to the back yard," Dad says, remembering Abnegation ways. "It allows us more privacy." I glance up and down the street and am surprised to see so many people out and about. There are two small children across the street laying in the grass, staring up at the cloud-filled sky; a teen boy and girl sitting very close to one another on the stoop two doors down, talking animatedly, smitten smiles plastered on each their faces; and a family of four walking to an unknown destination down the side of the street, heads bowed, hands at their side. They barely acknowledge us with a nod and continue on their way.

"You're right," I say. I'm sure he doesn't want a scene and I don't want to embarrass him by causing one. I never release my grip on Mr. Black's shirt and drag him between the houses to the back yard. When I let go of him, he stumbles before righting himself. _God, he's pathetic._ "You need to stop this … _now_! Four and I have been nice but we won't be from this moment forward. You aren't their father. He is." I point at the only father my kids will ever know.

"You can't keep me from them," he slurs defiantly. "I'll keep showing up until you break."

"Why are you doing this?" Tobias asks, his voice deceptively cold and calm. I know it's his Four facade. "You come to my in-law's house and presume to see _my_ children. You're asked to leave and you refuse, persisting to call our kids yours." I see that his finely tuned composure is quickly slipping.

"Four," Dad cautions, thinking that there might be a physical altercation.

"No, Andrew," he says, looking toward my father with a wild expression on his face. I put my hand on his back to comfort him, not aiming for a specific faction but it lands smack dab in the middle of his Amity tattoo. He looks down at me, eyes narrowed slightly and says, "He's crossed a line, and he needs to understand that it's not right. This can _never_ happen again." He turns his attention back to Mr. Black and shakes off my touch, probably thinking I'm telling him to be nice when in fact that's the exact opposite of how I feel. I want him annihilated. "If you can answer any one of these questions, I'll consider letting you speak to _my_ kids." He pauses for a moment and when he continues, he's regained his control.

"What is Tyler's favorite food? When did Tessa get her first tooth? Who is Tyler's favorite uncle? When did Tessa start army crawling around our apartment? What does Tyler call his baby sister? When did Tessa really smile for the first time? What's the only way to get Tyler to calm down when he's had a nightmare … most often a nightmare about _you_? How did Tessa react when we brought Teagan home from the hospital? What's the name of Tyler's best friend? How often does Tessa nurse? What is Tyler asking for when he says he wants toast?" Tobias continues firing question after question at him pausing slightly between each until his control starts to slip, and he turns away from all of us, running his fist aggressively through his disheveled tresses. I watch Mr. Black as the silence stretches on. He furrows his brows and shifts uncomfortably from foot to foot as his eyes slide from the back of Tobias' head to me.

"I don't know how you expect me to answer those questions when no one has ever allowed me to be a part of any of my children's lives," he says. "First, Evelyn decided to give Jeffrey and Laurel up for adoption without consulting me. I showed up at the hospital, I was told to sign on the dotted line, and they were each gone. Then she talked me into terminating my rights to Tessa. She selfishly didn't think she could take care of another child. And once I finally had custody of my son, Ellie told me that she would leave me if I didn't give you Tyler. It's not fair that I can't be a part of their lives." Wow! Did he just stamp his foot like a two year old?

"I can't believe you're blaming everything that happened on Ellie, Evelyn, and us," I say. "You need to take responsibility for your own actions. No one held a gun to your head and made you sign your parental rights away. You're supposed to be a grown man so grow up."

"It doesn't matter what I signed, I'm still their father," he belligerently spits. He must not realize how dangerous this conversation is turning. You don't come between my husband and his children under any circumstances. Before we realize what he's doing and can stop him, Tobias grabs Mr. Black by the collar and draws him up until they are practically nose-to-nose even though he's a good 6 inches shorter.

"Like I've told you before, repeatedly _screwing_ Evelyn behind your wife's back doesn't make you a father," he says in his steely cold, scary Four voice. "Nothing will ever make you their father … not Tyler or Tessa and not Jeffrey or Laurel. They each have a father who loves them more than their own life. This is something that you will never understand because you are a selfish, taking man who only thinks about his own happiness and no one else's. You don't want what's best for the kids you fathered. You only want what you want. You're still selfishly trying to hold onto the past with someone you didn't love enough to marry, someone you left dying a little each day in the factionless sector. You had the chance to do the right thing years ago but instead you were a coward, stringing two women along … two woman who obviously had very questionable taste in men. You could have divorced Ellie and lived factionless with Evelyn and the four children you had together but instead you kept your cushy life inside a faction with your wife all the while screwing my mother on the side for nearly two decades while she delivered not one but _four_ of your children. And. You. Did. _Nothing_. That to me is tantamount to abandonment." He scoffs. "I guess you did deserve Evelyn after all, you were two of a kind."

"Don't you _dare_ speak like that about your mother," he says, breaking the hold Tobias has on his shirt. "She loved you with all her heart until the day she died, and you turned your back on her. You're the one who abandoned her in the end."

"Seriously!" I say. Tobias looks my way and shakes his head.

"Don't," he says then looks back at Mr. Black. "I won't discuss my relationship with my mother with you."

"She was the best thing to ever happen to me," he says. "I should have had the guts to leave Ellie when we reconnected then none of this would be happening. I'd be with the woman I love more than life itself and we'd be raising our children together, and I wouldn't have to pretend on a daily basis that I'm happy with the wife I no longer love and two ungrateful children." A soft gasp draws our attention, and there by the side of the house stands Susan Black. Emotions she's probably never felt before fly across her face. I expect to see remorse on her father's face but it's shamefully blank. He truly is a heartless bastard. "Go home, Susan. This doesn't concern you."

"Of course, it doesn't, _Dad_ ," she says. "I'm not one of your perfect children you had with your _beloved_ Evelyn. I know when you look at me you see Mom and it disgusts you." If I were her I'd break down. She obviously is much stronger than I am. "There's something you should know, Beatrice. He's been trying to get custody of Tyler and Tessa."

" _Susan_!" he hisses, a truly evil look twisting his face.

"Four and I are their parents now. We adopted them," I say, completely confused as to the direction this has gone. "No one can take them away from us."

"Not unless you break up and are both deemed unfit then the city would find the closest living relative," she says. My brows knit together. It almost sounds like what the city wanted to do to Evelyn. "I know a little about adoption laws. He's been trying to break you two up for months now, and he's extremely frustrated that his plan isn't working out the way he thought it would." I know I should be upset by this news, disturbed even but I can't get past my confusion.

"What are you talking about?" Tobias and I ask at the same time. I slip my hand into his, needing to feel his skin on mine, and he squeezes it almost painfully.

"He arranged for my cousin to join Dauntless during initiation," she says. "She was instructed to break you up using any means necessary then discredit you both in the eyes of the court. He told her everything he knew about you and Tobias. He didn't know you would make her factionless. I've never seen him so angry." A couple pieces of a giant puzzle fall into place, and I can see the picture a little more clearly now.

"Who's your cousin?" I ask, already knowing what I'm going to hear. It's obviously the bitch.

"Olivia Nelson," she says. "She's always up for a challenge. If you ask me, she's a little unstable." I close my eyes and raise my hand to my throbbing temple and rub my head, trying to erase it from my memory … trying to erase _her_ from my memory.

"You underestimated me," Tobias says as he releases my hand after giving it a final squeeze. "You actually thought that some … _bimbo_ would turn my head?" He chuckles once, humorlessly. "Ouch. I guess you don't think very highly of me. Well, the feeling is entirely mutual." He takes a few steps until he's right in Mr. Black's face once again, and I see Dad tense. "I love Tris with all my heart. She's not only my wife, my lover, the mother of my children, and my very best friend, she's also my soul mate. That isn't easily undone and in our case _never_ undone so you might as well come clean and tell us what else you have planned."

"We know for a fact you're still in contact with her," I say, remembering what Edward said about her meeting with someone from Abnegation. I swore it would be Marcus we would be confronting when we found out the name. Maybe he's been telling the truth about turning over a new leaf. Mr. Black remains stubbornly mute on the subject and rage floods my body. " _You selfish son of a bitch!_ You come to _my_ parents' house, insist on seeing _my_ children while continually calling them _yours_ then I find out _you_ are the reason we had to endure Olivia." I slap him full on the cheek leaving my bright red handprint. "Tell us what you know." I hate that _I'm_ pleading with _him_. It's just not right. I turn and look at Susan. "I know we weren't best friends but why didn't you tell me what was going on before now?"

"I'm sorry, Beatrice," she says, once again acting like the good Abnegation member she is, head bowed, eyes averted. "I have no excuse for not immediately getting in touch with you or relaying a message through your parents. I take full responsibility for my actions. I guess I was hoping that I was mistaken and that my father … _my_ flesh and blood … couldn't be so cruel."

"Make it up to me now," I say. "He obviously isn't going to talk so I need to know _everything_ you know even if you think it's inconsequential. It could be the key to everything."

"Have you seen your father with Olivia recently?" Tobias asks.

"Yes. Earlier this week. Tuesday evening I believe."

"Were they with anyone else?" I ask, not wanting to get my hopes up but feeling optimistic.

"No," she says, "but Liv has been here a few times with a couple."

"Can you describe them?"

"Keep your damn mouth shut, girl," he hisses to his daughter. She narrows her eyes at him then turns her back on him.

"I would guess they were Dauntless by the way they were dressed head to toe in black just like Liv. The girl was tall, black hair pulled back in a ponytail. She's not fat by any means but she's a big girl. The guy was smaller, red hair … well more orange than red. He looked like he was along for the ride and Olivia and the other girl were in charge." She just described Molly and Drew to a T. I look into Tobias' eyes and we both grin. She just implicated her father and Olivia in Molly's plans.

"Why are you smiling?" Dad asks.

"Because we have an eye witness that saw Olivia and Mr. Black with two murder suspects as well as plotting against leaders of a rival faction. That in itself is a serious accusation and it means we can arrest him and give a truth serum interrogation. We've been waiting for a long time for this." Tobias pulls his phone out of his pocket and sends a few messages. "I have some patrol officers on their way to take him into custody. Andrew, where can we hold him until then?"

"I didn't do anything wrong," he sputters, fear on his face instead of defiance for the first time since I opened the door. He knows he's screwed.

"I think it best we just wait here until your men get here," Dad says.

"Thank you so much," I say to Susan grabbing her up in a hug, which she awkwardly returns. "Without this information, who knows how long we would have had to wait to get some answers. You'll have to be interviewed under truth serum to corroborate your story but don't worry about it. Jack Kang from Candor will contact you with a time and place. Thank you again." I turn back to Tobias and say, "I'm going to go check on Tyler. I'm sure he's fine now but I need to make sure. I hated leaving him like that."

"Go," he says. "Hug him and kiss him for me. I'll be in as soon as I can. I love you."

"I love you, too." I go up on my tiptoes and give him a quick kiss that very easily could progress into more but I tear my lips away too soon then head toward the backdoor, feeling his eyes on me until the door closes behind me. My heart drops when I hear Tyler. He hasn't calmed down, not one bit. I rush into the living room and scoop him up off of Mom's lap. "Tyler, baby, it's alright. Mommy's got you." He wraps himself around me and doesn't budge an inch. I mouth "sorry" to everyone then head up the stairs and into my old bedroom. The only thing that has changed is the new light gray and white quilt covering the simple twin mattress I've spent many nights on. I sit on the edge of the bed and hold him tight, rubbing his back lovingly and telling him everything's okay over and over in his ear.

"I no wanna go with him," he blubbers or at least I think that's what he says. He has so much raw emotion in his voice and his bottom lip is trembling almost violently that it's making it quite difficult to understand him. Rage makes my blood boil thinking about those weeks before the custody hearing when my sweet boy was forced against his will to spend time with that man who might as well be a stranger to him.

"Tyler, you don't have to go with him," I say. "You don't have to see him or talk to him either. He came over to talk to Mommy and Daddy but he won't be bothering us anymore. I promise." He continues crying softly and it breaks my heart. "Please don't cry." I can't help my emotional state, and my voice breaks. "I don't ever want you to cry like this. I want you to be happy and laughing. I don't want you sad." He raises his red, puffy eyes to mine and sniffs.

"You cwying?" he asks, tears thick in his voice. "You sad?"

"My heart hurts when you're sad," I say as I caress his curls. "That's why I have some tears." There's a tentative knock on the door and Mom sticks her head inside.

"Tris, I hate to bother you but Teagan needs nursed," she says. "I fed Tessa but your baby won't be put off any longer."

"Shall we go downstairs and feed your sister?" I ask Tyler. "We don't want her sad either."

"Otay," he says although he's still very somber but thankfully his tears have dried up.

"Thanks, Mom," I say. I carry Tyler down into the living room following Mom closely. She excuses herself and slips out the backdoor and I go into the living room. The stress inside is palpable. I take Peanut from Cara after I sit Tyler on the couch then sit down beside him. I give her the acetaminophen then get her latched on with no problems whatsoever. "I am so sorry, guys. I didn't mean to leave you for so long."

"What happened?" Caleb asks. I look down at Tyler who is huddled next to me. I think his eyes are closed.

"Is he asleep?" I quietly ask and Cara nods. "Poor baby. I think he wore himself out. He never takes two naps this close together. I need to apologize again. I know that couldn't have been easy for the both of you. His reaction to that man hasn't changed one little bit." I then tell them the details of what took place outside, and they hang on every word.

"He really said those horrible things to his daughter?" Cara asks.

"Yeah."

"Poor Susan," Caleb says.

"I didn't think it was possible for my opinion of Ethan Black to get any lower but he proved me wrong," I scoff. "I don't know how he maintains his seat on the council."

"Hopefully, he won't after today," Caleb says. "A leader of the city can't act the way he did today and get away with it."

"I think his days as a faction member are limited also," I say.

"Do you think he helped with the murders?" Cara asks as she takes Tessa from Caleb. She puts her against her shoulder and rubs her back in little circles.

"I don't know," I say. "Ever since I found out that he was Evelyn's lover, my opinion of him changed. If you would have asked me a year ago, I would have said no but now, I believe he's possible of anything. It can't be a coincidence that Susan saw them meeting more than once."

"How could she not tell you?" Caleb says. "I can't believe I ever had feelings for her." My eyes slide to Cara.

"I know," she says.

"I told her about Susan a long time ago," he says then he smirks. "Have you ever told Four about Robert?"

"Ooh! Who's Robert?" Cara asks.

"Susan's brother," I say. "And yes I told him about Robert even though there wasn't anything to tell."

"Can I ask you something?" Cara asks. "Why is Four called 'Four'? It's such an unusual nickname."

"How much do you know about Dauntless' initiation?" I ask. "Has Will ever told you what it is we were put through?"

"We've never talked about it but I know you're put under a series of simulations," she says.

"Yes, fear simulations," I say. "We are subjected to our greatest fears over and over again until we go through something called our fear landscape, which is all our fears presented at once for our final test. I had seven fears that day while others had as many as 12-15. Four had … four."

"Who started calling him that?" Caleb asks.

"His mentor, Amar," I say. "He wanted to help him fit in. An Abnegation-to-Dauntless transition isn't easy for a lot of reasons." I chuckle, which I think surprises them. "Christina implied on more than one occasion that I left because of the food."

"It's not _that_ bad," Caleb says as he rolls his eyes, obviously a trait he picked up in Erudite. "I actually crave it from time to time."

"I honestly could do without it," Cara says. "No offense."

"None taken," I say.

"It's the only thing Caleb knows how to cook," she says. "So needless to say, I do 99% of the cooking."

"When I'm home sick, feeling nostalgic, or just had an all-around bad day, a simple meal like my mom used to make is just what the doctor ordered. It's not Tyler's favorite either but he doesn't seem to mind once in a while." I finish burping Peanut and put her to my other breast. "How are the wedding plans coming? I'm surprised you weren't gushing over every detail at lunch." They share an awkward glance, and I momentarily wonder if there's trouble in paradise.

"It's really slow going," she says with a sigh.

"What seems to be the problem?" I ask giving my brother a hard look.

"Don't look at me," he says, putting both hands out in front of him.

"I'm the problem," Cara says. "Well to be more specific, the disagreements with my mother are the problem. I feel like I'm helping her with her wedding instead of the other way around. Did your mom try to take over the planning when you got married?"

"Um, no," I say. "I didn't plan my wedding though, Christina did." She looks at me like she's not quite sure she heard correctly.

"You didn't plan your wedding?" she skeptically asks.

"I did make all the big decisions, I guess, but no, she planned and executed the entire thing. It was her wedding gift to Four and me. I wanted to elope and she talked me into the full ceremony, which I'm thankful for now. She even thought of things I never would have in a million years like a photographer. I guess I'm just now getting used to the idea of being photographed and taking pictures."

"I don't think I could stand not having any input."

"Like I said, I picked out the venue and the color scheme. She asked me a lot of little questions, and I decided on a more traditional ceremony compared to the Dauntless norm, which is why I wore white. The only thing that Four and I decided independently was the date, 4/6 … our nicknames for each other."

"Six?" Caleb asks.

"The number of fears I have now," I say.

"One went away?" Why did I bring this up?

"Yeah," I say, my face going pink.

"Do fears just disappear?" Cara asks. "What was it?" I look around, making sure we aren't being overheard. I should be able to confide in my brother and soon to be sister-in-law.

"Fears don't go away easily," I shyly say. "I was scared to be … intimate … with Four."

"Aahh, I didn't need to hear that," Caleb whines, giving me a disapproving look like he used to do when we were children and he didn't think I was doing something right.

"Sorry I asked," Cara says with a giggle.

"So back to your wedding plans," I say, deciding to rescue not only Caleb from the uncomfortable conversation but myself also. "What's set in stone?"

"We're getting married Christmas Eve at the Crystal Gardens," she says. I expect more but she doesn't continue.

"That's it," I say. "Okay. What's your vision? Do you see yourself walking down the aisle in a traditional white wedding dress holding a big bouquet of red roses toward Caleb who is dressed in a black tux and top hat or do you see yourself in something more festive, maybe a simple white gown covered by a long, flowing red coat holding a bouquet of greenery and holly while Caleb and his groomsmen are in simple white suits with Santa Claus-covered ties and barely visible candy cane socks?" They both stare at me.

"Are you sure you didn't plan your own wedding?" she asks, her eyes wide.

"I guess Christina's rubbed off on me," I say with a chuckle. "In all seriousness, your wedding day should be all about you and Caleb. It should be what makes you and him happy. No one else's opinions should matter. Although, I know when strong willed individuals share their opinions it's sometimes easier to give in to them. I didn't think I needed a wedding. Christina talked me into it. For me, the marriage is what was important. I didn't grow up envisioning what my dream wedding would look like, I dreamt of who my dream guy would be."

"Too bad he's such an ugly muck," Tobias says as he comes into the room. He carefully lifts Tyler as to not wake him then sits down beside me.

"You are far from ugly," I say. "I could handle you bald but not ugly."

"I'm glad your good mood has returned," he says as he kisses my temple.

"We were just talking about weddings," I say.

"I kind of figured that out," he says.

"Where's Mom and Dad?" Caleb asks.

"Waiting outside with _Black_." He says his name like an affront. "They sent me inside. Part of me feels like a ten-year-old getting disciplined with a timeout."

"Did you do something?" I ask.

"No but I would have liked to," he says. "Maybe they were reading my mind."

"Or your body language," I say.

"How's our boy?" he asks as he brushes a curl out of Tyler's closed eyes. His hair grows just as fast as his father's. It seems like yesterday they got all their curls cut off and now they're back.

"He's still worried that one day, for some reason, he'll have to live with him," I say.

"He was inconsolable until Beatrice came back inside," Caleb says.

"Did she tell you what's going on?" Tobias asks.

"Yes," they both say then Cara continues. "I'm sorry that someone was trying to interfere in your relationship _again_ but I'm glad you're going to get some answers." Tobias narrows his eyes.

"Sounds like you're speaking from experience," he says.

"It's my mother," she sighs after a long pause.

"She doesn't like me," Caleb says.

"She doesn't approve," Cara says. "She doesn't know you well enough to not like you."

"And she'll never give me a chance so she'll never know me," he says. "Remember earlier when we were discussing the serums and I was talking about people blindly following Jeanine?" We nod.

"My mother is one of her disciples," she says. "She hates anything and everything Abnegation and wants me as far away from Caleb as she can get me. It seems like I've done everything short of giving her an ultimatum to get her to give him a chance. It's making it hard to maintain a relationship with her." She looks at Caleb. "I love you, babe. Nothing or _no_ _one_ will stand in our way. I promise."

"You don't have to keep reassuring me, Cara," he says. "I know how you feel, and I love you, too." He caresses her cheek softly then places his lips to hers as I rest my head on Tobias' shoulder.

"To answer your question earlier, Tris, I've always wanted a simple wedding that focuses on me and the one I love," she says. "Nothing extravagant, nothing seasonal. Just me, Caleb, and the ones we love the most helping us celebrate the day."

"I'm sure if you asked her, Christina would be more than happy to help you plan the wedding," I say. "Her and Will both. He did an amazing job of putting their wedding together on short notice."

"I should reach out to both of them," she says. "It's been a while." Tobias and I look at each other. She must not know. "What is it?"

"Do you know what happened to Will earlier this week?"

"No," she says, her voice raising an octave with stress.

"He's fine," I say. "But a few days ago he went missing. When he was found, he had been hit over the head. He sustained a concussion and a minor head injury. He went home this morning."

"Oh, my God! Why didn't anyone call?" she asks shifting Tessa who has long been asleep into Caleb's arms then gets her phone out.

"I'm sorry," I say. "Christina was a wreck. She barely left his side. I just didn't think."

"It's okay," she says. "I'm going to call him. Can I use a room upstairs?" Caleb gives her directions to his childhood room and we watch her disappear.

"Are you okay with your future mother-in-law not approving of your relationship?" Tobias asks just as Peanut finally pulls away from my breast. I fix my shirt then put her to my shoulder. She holds her little head up and looks around while I pat her back. After she burps, I use the thrush medication then change her diaper while listening to Caleb.

"To be honest, it would be so much easier if Cara didn't want to have anything to do with her mother anymore," he says, "but the truth is she loves her very much and can't imagine her life without her in it. Although, I'm not entirely sure she's figured that out quite yet. There's a reason she's never went as far as to give the ultimatum. And I love her too much to make her choose. I know how I would feel if she asked me to make that choice." He shakes his head. "No, I would never hurt her that way so I'll just endure short visits with her mother. Who knows, maybe one day we'll be the best of friends." Mom walks into the living room, and I immediately know that something else is wrong.

"What is it?" I ask.

"Four, your father's outside," she says.

"That's alright, Natalie," he says. "I called him."


	94. Chapter 94

"You called Marcus?" I ask as confusion washes over me. I guess I shouldn't be all that surprised, he just talked about reaching out to his father last night but I am. He usually discusses these things with me before he acts. "When?"

"Can we talk about this upstairs?" he quietly asks, not liking the fact that we have an audience I'm sure.

"Of course," I say. I get up and carefully lay Peanut in one of the pink bouncy seats we brought with us that's sitting in front of the unlit fireplace so she can continue with her nap undisturbed while Tobias very carefully moves Tyler off his lap and lays him down on the couch next to Caleb without waking him. "Can you watch them for us, Mom?" She nods as Tobias takes me by the hand and leads me up the stairs, straight into my childhood bedroom.

"If we're going to have a fight, I thought it would be best if it was done in private," he says, running his hand through his hair. "I don't want to argue in front of your family." I sigh and smile sweetly up at him.

"Our family, Tobias, and we don't have anything to argue about," I say. "I just wish you would have told me you called your father instead of having me find out the way I did. It's difficult enough for me when he just shows up out of the blue uninvited, I really don't want you subjecting me to him unannounced, too." He groans then flops down on the bed.

"I'm so sorry, love," he says, hanging his head. I step between his parted thighs, and he wraps his arms around my waist and buries his head in my breasts. I wrap my arms around his neck and thread my fingers into his curls, holding him close and kiss the top of his head. "I called him this morning on my way to the infirmary to see Will, Tori, and Zander. I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner. I know how he makes you feel. I should have told you as soon as I got home but with everything that's happened today … I simply forgot." He looks pained as he confesses his absentmindedness. "I asked if him if we could meet to talk about the serums. I momentarily thought about just having a short phone conversation but we both know he's a world class liar, and I thought it best to see his face while we're talking."

"You're right. In person is better," I say. "I'll come with you."

"No," he says. "You don't have to do that."

"I don't exactly want to subject myself to your father but I'd like to hear what he has to say about the serums myself," I say. He leans back and looks up at me with his soulful blue eyes. I can't help myself, and I lower my lips to his. Pent up frustration and passion explode as our mouths move together fluidly. I pull away before we can get carried away and rest my forehead against his as we let our breathing slow, our panted breaths mingling between us.

"I can't wait for this damn day to be over," he says, tightening one arm around my waist and sliding the other to rest on my backside.

"Me neither," I say. "Shall we get this over with?" I take a step back when he loosens his embrace, allowing him to get up then he follows me downstairs and into the living room. Mom and Caleb look at us expectantly but neither of us comment on our conversation. "Are you alright with the kids, Mom? We need to speak to Marcus about the serums." She looks around the room at the three sleeping children and grins.

"It might be difficult but I think I can manage," she says.

"Thank you so much," I say as I wrap my arms around her and give her a big bear hug. "I can always count on you."

"You're quite welcome, my sweet girl," she says. "You better not keep our _guest_ waiting any longer." The depth of the disgust she feels for her former friend is conveyed in what is meant to be a complimentary word. She hates him but not nearly as much as I do.

"Are you coming?" Tobias asks from the doorway. I nod and follow him through the kitchen and out the backdoor. Mr. Black is sitting on the ground, his face buried in his hands as Ellie lays into him. Tobias saddles up to me and softly says, "They're getting a divorce."

"Doesn't surprise me in the least," I say as we stop in front of my father-in-law. I study his face for a moment before speaking. "Marcus." He's portraying a calm facade but I can sense his nervousness.

"Hello, son, Tris," he says. "It's nice to see you today." I can't bring myself to exchange pleasantries with the man so I hold my tongue. My mother did teach me that if I didn't have anything nice to say that I shouldn't say anything. I feel Tobias' hand slip into mine, and he gives it a comforting little squeeze.

"Thank you for coming over," he says.

"It seems like there's an awful lot going on today," he says as he looks over our shoulders at the scene unfolding behind us. "Do you mind if we take this inside?"

"I'm afraid the kids are asleep, and I don't want to disturb them," Tobias says.

"I'm sure that's not the only reason you don't want me in the house," he says, although not bitterly. I just can't get used to this "new" Marcus Eaton. I still feel strongly that he's playing us.

"You're right," he says. "If we have any chance of making this work … whatever _this_ is, we both need to be completely honest with each other. You're not welcome here, and I should have realized as much before I took it upon myself to invite you over to discuss some business. You can't really expect Tris' parents to forgive what you did to their daughter." Marcus bows his head, just like a good Abnegation is taught to do. He really is playing the part flawlessly these days.

"Can either of you ever forgive me?" he somberly asks.

"Forgive." Tobias tests the word to see how it tastes then shakes his head. "No. You didn't see her in that hospital room when I found her … so lost and confused. _You_ did that. I did, however, decided shortly after that day to let the anger I felt toward you go because I knew that if I hung on to it I would become a shell of a man and end up pushing everyone I love away. So no, I'll never forgive and I'll never forget but I no longer feel like ripping your heart out." Marcus' eyes slide from Tobias' to mine.

"Never."

"I understand both your feelings completely. No amount of apologizing will ever fix what I did. I realize that," he says. "But you called me so what is it that I can do for you?"

"Approximately seven years ago, Jeanine Matthews approached the council with a request to experiment with the death serum," Tobias says. "Do you remember that?"

"I certainly do," he says, crossing his arms across his chest.

"What can you tell us about that time? It's very important." Marcus furrows his brows but whether it is in confusion, concentration, or deception, I don't know.

"Jeanine Matthews petitioned the council to make a new, more effective death serum," he says. "This was long before she began her campaign to discredit Abnegation so I didn't have any reason to distrust her. The other council members and I had lengthy discussions for two to three weeks about whether it would benefit the city or not. In the end, I believe it was my vote that swung the decision in their favor. I don't, however, recall them ever requesting approval for a new serum but now that we know what we do about that faction and that woman, they probably circumvented the system and did as they pleased."

"That's basically what Andrew told us," Tobias says. "There's one thing that's bothering me though. Did you know before you voted yes what kind of experimentation she was planning? It's death serum so I understand that it's dangerous but the concoctions she made were cruel … to the extreme, and now someone is using the very formula to kill people in Dauntless."

"And you think I have something to do with it," he says, defensively. I guess some old habits are hard to break. His sudden change in demeanor puts me on edge. "You don't trust me, I get it, but I never had any kind of alliance with Jeanine Matthews so how could I know what she was planning. From what I've learned about her, she always hated Abnegation and me in particular so I really can't help you with any of this beyond what I've already told you."

"Are you 100% certain she never gave the council any updates?" Tobias asks and his father stiffly nods his head once. "The reason I'm asking is because we learned something very useful from the Erudite researchers. Amity's peace serum has the tendency to counteract the other serums when they're combined. For example, let's say, when someone wants to lie under truth serum."

"Wow," he says. "This conversation needs taken to a more private setting." We look around and all eyes are on us. Apparently seeing Tobias in Abnegation with his father is a sight to behold. We now have onlookers who have no business here, which is supposed to be completely out of character for Abnegation members … too selfish to appear nosy. I can't help but roll my eyes. "Let's take this conversation to my house. It's too delicate to be had in public." He turns, expecting us to follow but I stop him.

"We need to check on the kids and tell my mom where we can be reached so we'll meet you there," I say.

"Okay," he says then marches off in the direction of his house.

"Are you okay with this?" I ask after his father is out of ear shot, knowing full well what the ramifications are of him walking back into that house after three years. I don't want his nightmares to return. He still has them from time to time but subjecting him to the house of horrors could be detrimental but on the other hand, it could be healing.

"I'll be fine," he says, his Four mask already firmly in place.

"Just remember that I'm here for you," I say. His face softens at my comment then we head into the house.

"Did you get everything you needed?" Mom asks.

"Unfortunately not, Natalie," Tobias says. "Tris and I are going to Marcus' place to finish our conversation. We just wanted to check on the kids and let you know what was going on."

"Is Tyler awake yet?" I ask as we pad into the living room.

"No, he's not," she says just as I turn the corner and see him still on the couch where Tobias left him. Suddenly, worry tightens my chest. I kneel in front of him and press my lips to his forehead. It's hard to tell if he's feverish or not so I grab the thermometer out of the diaper bag and warm the tip in my hand before putting it to his ear. When it beeps that it's done, it startles him a bit but he doesn't wake.

"Just as I thought," I say. "He's got a fever. Mom, can you give him a dose of the liquid acetaminophen in the bag if he wakes up before we return? I was afraid Teagan was going to make her brother and sister sick." I check on Tessa and she seems fine for the moment. She's sleeping peacefully in the second pink bouncy seat right next to her sister. When they're this close, it's easy to see their similarities and differences. I kiss each one of them then tell Mom we'll be right back. When we step outside, we notice a change in the typical Abnegation air, and I immediately see the reason. Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo are walking purposefully toward us down the center of the street. The children who are gazing at the clouds spring up and rush into their house, apparently not knowing what to make of our men.

"The prisoner is in the backyard with Tris' father and some of his men," Tobias says to them. "He needs taken to Candor for interrogation, although I haven't had a chance to call them yet and warn them of his impending arrival. Simon, please call Jack Kang and inform him that we have an interrogation that needs to be performed sooner rather than later. Have him give me a call with the time and place."

"Yes, Four," they both say at the same time then we continue on our way.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I ask as we stand at his father's door. Knowing what he had to endure inside these walls makes me angry and not want to go inside. I can't imagine what he might be feeling. With the exception of the tension along his jawline, he looks fine but I know that's just his protective mask shielding him from showing how he really feels. He doesn't want to show any perceived weakness in public, especially here of all places. I wish I would have known him then so I could have comforted him.

"Not really," he confesses. I run the back of my fingertips down his cheek, and he covers my hand with his. "I didn't think I would ever have to step foot in this house again." I take a deep breath, making up my mind.

"Go back to my parents' house," I firmly say. "I'll take care of this, and I'll let you know what he says.

"Absolutely not," he says. "I appreciate the gesture but do you think I would intentionally leave you alone with him?" His sterile Four look softens and I briefly see my husband standing before me. "I can do this, love. I just need you to stand by my side and I can do anything?"

"Anything?" I ask, wanting to lighten the mood. "Even go to the top of the Hancock Building and zipline with me?" He pales a little at my question but he doesn't lose his warm smile. "Kidding. I love you. And I know that you can do anything if you put your mind to it."

"I love you, too," he says as he knocks on his father's door. Within seconds he opens it and invites us inside.

"Come in," he says. When I walk through the door, I'm struck with how similar it is to my parent's house, although it's smaller if I'm not mistaken, and its simple decor makes it seem cold and drab instead of warm and welcoming. It must be the occupant. I look up at Tobias and am struck at how stiff and formal he seems at the moment, no doubt trying to not react to the small closet next to us. "Let's go into the kitchen. I made a fresh pot of coffee. I'm afraid I don't have anything else to offer."

"That's fine," Tobias gruffly says. We follow behind Marcus into the sun-filled room, which does absolutely nothing to brighten up the space. The shadows of an earlier, darker time are etched into the walls' memory. We sit side-by-side at the small table, our knees touching, and our fingers laced together. His father pours us each a cup of coffee then sits down opposite us.

"I'm sorry I lost my temper earlier. I know it'll take time for you to trust me but I've been trying very hard to make amends, and it's frustrating that you think I'm still plotting against you. I won't go as far as to say I will never hurt you because I've already hurt you both so much but I'm doing everything within my power to turn over a new leaf. I'm willing to meet you half way but you have to be willing to take the chance on me. I thought you were willing to do that."

"I thought I was but now that I'm back in this house, sitting here feeling exactly how I felt for all those years, I'm not so sure," Tobias says. He leans forward and rests his free hand on the table. "I need honest answers from you, and I need you to understand why they're being asked."

"Go on," he says.

"Are you Divergent?"

"That is exactly why I asked for you to come over," he says. "Yes, I'm Divergent … just like you and just like Tris."

"I'm not," I say, feeling a strong need to protect my secret but he interrupts me.

"I thought we were trying to build this relationship on honesty," he says, his voice dripping with disappointment. I clutch Tobias' hand tighter, and he grimaces so only I can hear him. "I know what divergence looks like. I've lived with it my entire life. I think I recognized it in you before your father did."

"You talked about me?" I ask, stunned.

"Yes. You and Tobi … I'm sorry, you and Four were the subject of many of our conversations, Caleb, too. I confided in him shortly before your Choosing Ceremony," he looks at Tobias, "that I believed you were Divergent and that I saw some of the same traits in Beatrice. A few days later he confided in me that he thought I was right."

"Did you use a combined serum to be able to lie during your interrogation after Tris' kidnapping?"

"Did you use a serum when you went under truth serum?" he asks, looking directly at me.

"You didn't answer the question," Tobias says, getting frustrated with his father.

"No. I've been able to lie, with some effort, during truth serum interrogations my entire life," he says. "I'm not sure why. I thought I was the only one until Tris denied that both of you are Divergent under truth serum. I was floored. I guess we're more alike than you are willing to admit." I want to argue because I feel like he's trying to bait me for some reason or maybe it's just lack of sleep catching up with me. Either way I keep my mouth shut.

"Do you know what Jeanine was planning on doing with the Frankenstein Serum?" Tobias asks. I'm surprised Marcus doesn't question my father's nickname for Jeanine's creation but then again he's probably heard it before.

"I can only tell you what she told the council," he say. "If I remember correctly, she said that the death serum wasn't as effective as it could be. She explained that it was taking too long to kill humanely, that she wanted to streamline it. She also explained that with a few tweaks death serum could be weaponized to target specific DNA sequences in case war was ever to break out again. It could be aerosolized and released, only killing the specific targets, leaving everyone else unharmed." Silence envelopes the room as we let that sink in.

"DNA targeting?" Tobias mutters then his head pops up. "Could she have been trying to figure out a way to eradicate the Divergent population from the city by targeting our DNA under the rouse of 'experimenting with the death serum'?"

"It's possible except for one thing, there is no specific Divergent DNA sequence to target. The theory has been tested again and again for over 200 years according to our history books. No one knows what makes us different but it isn't DNA and it isn't a specific gene."

"I have a theory that everyone is actually Divergent to a certain degree," I say. He looks at me skeptically. "Think about it. Just this afternoon at my parents' house there were several onlookers, gawking at what was going on because they were curious. I was raised being told not to be too curious about things because that was selfish. Being curious is a trait expressed only by the Erudite. I would bet you money that there are still several Abnegation members over there just because they are dying to hear a snippet of information, witness Ellie do a beat down on Ethan, or see you two together and not at each other's throats inside the faction for the first time in years."

"I concede that fact," he slowly says. "You're right. We do have varying degrees of each faction in us but I don't think the city is ready to hear that yet."

"Both you and Andrew said the vote was basically 50/50 until your vote gave her the go ahead," Tobias says. "Why did you think it was a good idea for the experimentation to be done?"

"She was very passionate about that project," he says, a faraway look on his face. "Her plans were detailed, meticulous. She thoughtfully answered every question posed to her. She never lost control. There wasn't even a glimpse of the tyrant she became. Looking back, knowing what I know now, I probably still would have voted to let the experimenting commence. She was that charming and persuasive."

"I can't believe that something that woman did nearly a decade ago is coming back to bite us in the ass more than a year after her death," I mutter under my breath. "Didn't you find it strange that she sought the council's approval on her own?"

"She wasn't alone," he says. "Do you remember David Benz, her predecessor?" We nod, although I barely remember him. He died when I was quite young, some sort of accident. "He was present at every meeting we had, although he was absent for the final vote."

"I don't think my father was aware of that, and our source from Erudite didn't mention it either," I say. "That's strange. Who else attended these meetings, if you don't mind me asking?" Maybe there are others we can talk to and get their take.

"Not at all. Jonah Thompson, Ethan Black, Jeanine, David, and myself," he says. "Jeanine gave a presentation then the five of us would discuss in detail what we learned. After the Erudite representatives left, we would gather the remaining council members and debate the issue. I would relay the information Jeanine gave us, Jonah voiced the cons side of the argument, and Ethan voiced the pros. After listening to all the information and carefully weighing the pros and cons, we held the vote." Sounds straightforward, although hearing that Ethan had direct knowledge of this serum troubles me. We know he's directly connected to the bitch but we don't know for certain that he has anything to do with Molly's plan. I can't wait for his interrogation.

"Do you trust Ethan Black?" Tobias asks. We really do make a great couple. He seems to have the exact same thoughts about Mr. Black running through his mind that I do.

"Not anymore," he says. "Not since I found out about him and your mother. I thought we were friends but he was sleeping with my wife behind my back. Not that I didn't push her straight into his arms." Emotion chokes him up as he talks about Evelyn. I'll admit I've never seen this side of him. From what Tobias has told me, he had no love for that woman.

"Would he have communicated with Jeanine behind your back?" I ask.

"I wouldn't doubt it," he says.

"Maybe it wasn't Jeanine he was in contact with," I say, thinking out loud. I regret it immediately. I didn't mean for it to slip out.

"What?" Tobias says.

"Nothing," I say. I really don't want to give my entire theory to Marcus in case he is playing us. I finish my cup of coffee and Marcus offers more but I politely decline. We're all quiet for a while. I mull over our conversation, looking for hidden meanings or any forms of deception but I think he's being candid. I still don't know what to make of his transformation. The one thing I _am_ certain of is I just don't trust him.

"Do you mind if I show Tris around the house?" Tobias asks, surprising me. I thought he would want to get as far away from the bad memories as possible instead of sticking around and giving me a tour of his hellish childhood.

"Not at all," Marcus says. "I still think of this as your home, too." Tobias visibly tenses when he hears this. I think all three of us know that this was never a home. "Take your time. If you'd like, supper is in the oven and you're more than welcome to stay."

"Thanks for the offer but we have previous obligations this evening, and we'll have to be getting back to Dauntless soon." I think I do a good job of hiding my surprise because I'm almost positive that we have nothing going on tonight, here or at home.

"Maybe next time," he says. Tobias slams the rest of his coffee down then we get up. He takes me by the hand and leads me down a short hallway to the living room.

"This is the living room," he says. There's a small stone fireplace built only for warmth in the late fall, winter, and early spring along the far wall. Its mantle is bare, begging the question, why a mantle at all? There's a drab gray colored, compact, thread-bare couch and a single recliner, which actually looks newer. On the small plain wooden table between the two is a single lamp that I'm sure casts only enough light for Marcus to have read work files, when he worked. I honestly can't imagine living the solitude life he lives, a life devoid of family and friends, of true happiness. If I don't stop that train of thought, I might actually start to feel sorry for him. So I look up at Tobias and study his face as he looks at every surface in the room. I can't tell what kind of memories this room holds for him or if it does. He sighs then leads me back the way we came and up the stairs. I was right about this house being smaller than my parents'. The second floor only has three rooms: Marcus' bedroom, the solitary bathroom, and Tobias' old room.

"This was my room," he says as he pauses with his hand on the doorknob, looking over his shoulder at me. He takes a deep breath then turns the knob, opening the door, which squeaks in protest. He steps aside and lets me go inside then closes the door behind us. My eyes take in the room Tobias spent the majority of his life in so far, and I get a sense of the lonely boy my Tobias was. There's a small bed in one corner of the room fitted with typical Abnegation linens. I run my fingers over the gray sheets and thin gray blanket as I walk past the bed to the small dresser sitting underneath the high window. Unfortunately it does little to illuminate the sparse room or give its occupant the luxury of staring out of it as an escape. A tower of school books I recognize from my final year at upper levels sits on top of his gray-stained plywood desk right next to a pile of schoolwork. I pick up the sheets and admire his handiwork. My Tobias was a very bright student. Right next to the desk is a bookshelf but unlike at home, it's not lined with books, precious momentous, and irreplaceable photos. As a matter of fact, it sits empty, a sterile reminder of our upbringing. The one thing that stands out in this picture perfect Abnegation room is the blue glass sculpture sitting in the middle of his desk that he told me about, the one his mother smuggled into Abnegation and gave to him when he was a child. I pick it up and turn it around in my hands, admiring it. It really is beautiful and unlike any piece of art I've ever seen. It reminds me of water cascading over rocks in the calmer part of the raging river in the chasm.

"Do you know where she got it?" I ask as I sit it back down on the desk.

"No," he says. "She just gave it to me one day out of the blue. I asked what it did and she told me nothing obvious but that it might make me feel good here." He places his right hand atop my left breast, and my heart rate picks up. I expect him to move it but he doesn't. I stare up into his eyes as his gaze burns into me. "She was right. It taught me to look for the beauty in objects that wouldn't normally be considered beautiful: A dented tin button torn from a wool coat, a few stray threads still adhered to it; an old pair of bent eyeglass frames without the lens, missing one of the arms; a discarded key to a lock long forgotten; a rusted knife blade long missing its handle." With each word, he massages the flesh beneath his hand and my breathing becomes rough and labored.

"Tobias, we really shouldn't be doing this," I moan, as he steps closer and puts his mouth on my neck but my refusal sounds weak even to my ears.

"You don't mean that," he says as he kisses his way up to my ear. His arms circle my waist and pull me up against him, and I can't help but feel his hard arousal pressing into my soft skin.

"Yes, I do," I moan, although I unthinkingly move my head to give him better access to my neck making him chuckle. He kisses all around my left ear then sticks the tip of his tongue in the canal causing my entire body to shudder with desire as his hands travel up and down my back. As much as I want him inside me in this very moment, that's how much I don't want to be caught by his father. I may not like the man but having sex in his house is a line we shouldn't cross. It's disrespectful. "This is a bad idea."

"Love, stop thinking," he says. "We want each other. We _need_ each other. And I honestly don't think I can talk myself out of it for a second time." He grinds his hips into mine, and we both groan. He's _so_ hard. His mouth lands on mine, and this primordial need we're feeling is palpable, pulsating with a life of its own that's gaining strength by the second. Our lips, tongues, and hands move together as one.

"We can't do this, not here," I pant against his lips. I'm dangerously close to losing all semblance of control and letting my husband make love to me in his boyhood room with his father downstairs. When he slips his hand down the front of my pants, into my panties, and finds my aching sex with his rough to the touch yet gentle fingers, I know I'm fighting a losing battle.

"We can mark off a place on both our lists," he murmurs breathily against my ear as he increases the pressure on my nubbin. I cling to him so I won't collapse to the floor. "Just think of this as Abnegation, not my father's house."

"Yes, yes, God, yes! Just put it in me now," I say louder than I mean to.

"Ssh, love," he says against my ear. "We have to be really quiet." He gives me another swift kiss that's full of passion and promise then removes his hand from my panties. He abruptly turns me around and pushes me forward until my hands land on the front of his desk. He pulls my yoga pants and boy shorts down to mid-thigh then pushes my legs apart with his as he undoes his pants and frees himself. He blankets my body with his and fills me fully with one powerful thrust. I bite down on my lip to keep from crying out but it doesn't silence me so he turns my head and captures my mouth with his to muffle the escaping moans. He's still for a moment, letting me get used to his size but we know we can't linger. "Ready, love?" His gravelly voice and the forbidden nature of the interlude do something to me.

"God, yes," I moan. "I need you now, baby." We waste no time finding our rhythm. He drives into me, fast and frantic … nearly bordering on brutal as I push back against him just as hard, wanting … _needing_ him to soothe the pulsating ache deep inside. The only sound in the room is our heavy breathing and bodies pounding together forcefully. His stride changes and I know he's close but I'm not there. I concentrate on our bodies, our frenzied coupling but I'm still racing to catch up with him. I slide my hand down between my thighs and find my nubbin. I close my eyes and block everything else out except for me and Tobias as I glide my fingertips roughly over the sensitive little button. I feel a powerful explosion building where he's repeatedly thrusting himself into my body. I rub a little harder on the sensitive bundle of nerves, searching, seeking and then it hits, an eruption unlike any I've had before. I call out but it's once again captured by his mouth. Thank God one of us can still think. My body shakes and shudders around his as he continues pounding into me until he finds his release and explodes, shooting his life giving seed deep inside of me again and again. When we are physically drained, we collapse onto his desk. Thankfully, we don't make any noise and the old desk holds our weight. Once our breathing returns to normal, he pulls out of me, leaving me feeling empty as usual. We straighten up and he puts himself away while I pull my boy shorts and pants back into place. He sits in the desk chair and pulls me into his lap. He wraps his arms around me and nuzzles his face in my neck. He's much calmer than he's been since we stepped foot in Abnegation today. "Is it still hard?"

"No, love, we took care of that?" he says, humor audible in his voice and I roll my eyes at him. "Although, you know how I feel about you. I imagine you'll have me hard again before the day is done. It seems like you always have me hard and wanting." I give him a deep kiss, exploring his mouth with my tongue until we both groan.

"No, smart ass, that's not what I was asking," I breathlessly say. I run my thumb over his lips and he kisses it. "Is it still _difficult_ to come to Abnegation?" His smile slowly fades and is replaced by a serious expression.

"This isn't my favorite place in the world," he says. "If it weren't for bringing the kids to see their grandparents I wouldn't step foot in this faction."

"I'm sorry," I say. "How is it that you seem to be fine sitting here in this house of all places right now?"

"Don't let me fool you," he says. "This is one of the hardest things I've ever done. Look at this place. It seems normal enough but my very last memories of this room were my father's rage, a merciless beating, a restless night, and an act of defiance."

"An act of defiance? What do you mean?" I ask. The others are self-explanatory.

"This statue," he says picking up the delicate blue glass and holding it in his hand. "I could have taken it with me. A small reminder of a rare happy moment with my mother but instead I left it behind as a sort of 'screw you' to the man who made this house feel like a prison instead of a home." He carefully deposits it back where it was. "I was disappointed to see it sitting exactly where I left it. If he'd have seen it, he would have destroyed it just like he destroyed anything good in my life … until you and he tried to take you away from me." My eyes scan the small, unassuming room and something dawns on me.

"I think you're wrong about some of that," I say. He looks confused. "Look around, Tobias. There isn't a speck of dirt on a single surface. After three years undisturbed, this room should be caked with dust. As you very well know, Abnegation do their own house work. It would be considered highly selfish not to. No, he saw that statue and for whatever reason, he left it there."

"Why do you do that?" he asks. His face is suspiciously blank, making me wonder what I said that upset him.

"What do you mean?" I slowly ask, genuinely confused.

"You hate that man and rightfully so," he says and then he sighs. "Yet, lately, you end up playing peacemaker. Why?"

"That's easy," I say. "I love you, Tobias Eaton, and I want you to be happy. I could care less if Marcus is telling the truth about changing. If he changes, great. More power to him. If he doesn't change, that's fine, too. It won't bother me one way or another because I refuse to trust that man … _ever_." I cup his face between my palms and give him a quick tender kiss. "But he's your father, and I know without a doubt, because I know you so well, that deep in your heart," I lay my hand on his chest, "you love that imperfect man, and you want him to change. I also know that you battle with yourself whether to trust him or not because you've been disappointed by him in the past. I guess I play devil's advocate to make sure you are seeing all sides of the story, so to speak, so you can make an informed decision. I just want you happy."

"It would be so much easier if I could just walk away from him and never look back," he says. _I won't argue with that._ "But something won't let me, and that same something won't let me trust him either. It's quite infuriating."

"I don't want to see you hurt, baby. If you hurt, I hurt. It's that simple," I say. Silence stretches between us as I try to figure out how to word what it is I want to say. "If you trust him and he betrays you, it has the potential to destroy you. _Yet_ , wanting to trust but constantly holding back and second guessing your decisions can't be easy either. It has the potential to damage your psyche. When it comes to your father, I won't give my opinion anymore on what I think you should do. I just want you happy. That's all I've ever wanted but only you can decide what brings you happiness." He presses his lips to mine, and I can feel his love and devotion with each stroke of his tongue. We keep the pace leisurely in hopes of not losing control again.

"You are my happiness," he says. "Take you away and I have nothing … I _am_ nothing." I shift on his lap and he frowns. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"Not at all," I say. "But we really shouldn't have done that here."

"Do you know why I wanted to make love to you here?" I shake my head, and he smiles brightly at me. "Now I have one good memory in this house. I love you, my Six."

"I love you more," I say.

"Not possible," he says then raises his lips to mine but he pulls away too soon. "We better get back to your parents'. I'm surprised they haven't sent a search party out by now." I start to get up but he won't release his grip on me. "Thank you … for loving me, for caring deeply about things that matter to me. Thanks for standing behind my decisions, for walking through this life beside me as my partner, my wife, my lover, and my best friend, and taking the reins and leading when you need too. I couldn't do half the things I do if it weren't for you. I love you."

"I know and I love you, too," I say. After a final kiss, he lets me go and we descend the stairs. I covertly study Marcus' face when we enter the living room but he only seems tired. I don't think he knows what we were up to.

"Tris and I need to be going," Tobias says. A strange expression transforms Marcus' face and I glance in the direction he's looking. Tobias has the statue in his hand.

"Where did you get that?"

"Evelyn gave it to me before she left us," Tobias says. "I left it here but I want it back now."

"I wondered where it came from," he says.

"You do know about it." I see. This was a test.

"I had a bad night a few months back," he says. "I finally went into your room after nearly three years. I wanted to think and the rest of the house was suffocating so I found myself at your door. I walked in and sat on your bed. A single beam of moonlight was coming through the window, casting a spotlight on it. To say I was angry is an understatement. I kept thinking, 'How dare he have something so self-indulgent in _my_ house.' I marched over to it, picked it up, and as I was getting ready to shatter it against the wall, something stopped me. I still have no idea what exactly stopped me but in the back of my mind I knew that little piece of glass was important to you and for that very reason, I couldn't destroy it. I set it back down and left."

"Thank you," Tobias says, his voice taking on an odd ring. "It is special. I would have hated to learn it was gone forever. We really need to head back to the Prior's. I'm sure the kids are awake by now. Thanks for the information. It was very useful." We say our goodbyes then he takes me by the hand and hurries me out the door and up the walkway.


	95. Chapter 95

Tobias and I hurriedly leave Marcus' and walk hand-in-hand up the street toward my parents' house in silence. He's been deep in thought ever since he practically dragged me out of that house. I try asking him a couple questions but either he's so absorbed with whatever's on his mind that he doesn't hear me or he's not ready to talk about what's bothering him, so instead of prying, I decide to give him some time, and I go over our conversation with his father in my heard, word for word. The revelation that Ethan Black knows about the Frankenstein Serum troubles me but what concerns me the most is what Marcus said about DNA targeting. What if Erudite researchers make a breakthrough and discover what makes us different and can then make a serum that's harmless to the entire population unless you happen to be Divergent? My heart palpates painfully in my chest.

"Penny for your thoughts." Tobias' soothing, deep vibrato cuts through my anxiety as we stroll up the walkway to my parent's front door.

"I could ask you the same thing," I say as I look up into his dark blue eyes with a smile. "I was talking to you earlier, and I don't think you heard me." He sighs.

"I'm sorry, love. I'm just trying to work a few things out, and I'm not quite ready to talk about it just yet," he says. "When I'm ready, we'll talk. I promise."

"I figured as much," I say. "I'll be here when you're ready."

"I know and I love you for it," he says. "So what has you so far away?"

"I was just thinking about Mr. Black knowing about the death serum experiments and what Marcus said about DNA targeting. I'm worried." I quickly run through my concerns before we go inside to see the kids and talk to Caleb and Cara again. I didn't want to surprise him with my line of questioning. He hangs on every word, worry creasing his forehead just a little more with each word.

"Where did that diabolical brain of yours come from?" he teases when I finish. "Or did I marry a conspiracy theorist and I just didn't know it."

"Do I sound foolish?" I ask, suddenly embarrassed. Maybe I'm making this out to be more than it is. His amused look turns deadly serious.

"That's the most worrisome part," he says. "Every word you just said makes perfect sense to me … and it scares me to death."

"I know. I'm scared too for a lot of reasons," I say. "I was hoping that our trip today would give us some answers, which it thankfully has but now we have twice as many questions as we did before."

"We better get inside." Tobias knocks once on my parents' front door as he pushes it open and steps aside, motioning me forward. The moment I step inside, I hear Peanut fussing from the living room. I pull my phone out of my pocket and check the time. I'm surprised she isn't wailing, it's past time for her next feeding.

"We're back," I say as we enter the room. Dad's pacing back and forth at a measured clip, gently bouncing my sick baby girl in his arms to calm her while Mom sits in her chair giving Tessa a bottle. Tyler is awake but he's still lying on the couch with his head resting on Caleb's leg. I expect a room full of tension but we're greeted with nothing but smiles. I carefully take Peanut from my dad, and she immediately quiets down but starts rooting toward my chest, letting me know that supper had better come soon.

I kneel beside the couch and Tyler says, "Hi, Mommy." My poor little guy sounds miserable.

"How are you feeling, buddy?" I ask as I run my hand over his forehead and into his hair.

"I yucky," he moans.

"I am _so_ sorry," I say as I press my lips to his forehead in a kiss. I don't need a thermometer to tell he's feverish this time. "You lie there and rest, okay, but let Mommy or Daddy know if you need anything, okay? I love you."

"Otay. Love you," he says then I turn my attention to Tessa.

"I think this one learned a new trick today," Mom says, beaming from ear to ear. I watch as she moves her hand away from the bottle but it doesn't fall. Tessa's little hands are on either side of it, holding it up as she suckles away.

"You're holding your bottle, little one?" She takes the nipple out of her mouth and smiles brightly at me then says mama over and over again. "You must be feeling better. Are your gums not hurting anymore?" I stick my finger in her mouth and run it along the once inflamed tissue, immediately finding her first tooth. "This is a big day for you, Tessa, holding your bottle by yourself like a big girl _and_ getting your first tooth. Where did my tiny baby go?"

"Teags right there," Tyler says, pointing at the infant in my arms, causing everyone to chuckle.

"I know," I say, smiling his way. I kiss Tessa's forehead and am thankful she's not warm. I tilt her bottle back up so she can get it in her mouth, and she continues eating. "May I use your chair to feed Teagan, Dad?"

"Of course."

"I'm sorry for all the disruptions and leaving you with three sick kids most of the day," Tobias says as I ready Peanut to nurse. "Thank you all for being willing to look after them for us. You don't know what that means."

"You're welcome, Four," Mom says. "I can't say it's been a dull day. How would you like to stay for supper?"

"Cara and I would love to," Caleb says. "What about you, Beatrice?" I look up at Tobias, leaving the decision up to him since he just told Marcus we had to be getting back to Dauntless soon. Even though I think it was an excuse, he could have been telling the truth.

"I don't think we can," he says, apologetically. "It's been a really long day, and we need to be getting the kids home. We'd have to leave immediately following the meal, and we don't want to be rude."

"Nonsense! You'll stay and eat. We understand you need to be getting home but I love having all of you here. It doesn't happen enough," Mom says. "Four, would you like to finish feeding your daughter?"

"I would love to, Natalie," he says as he lifts Tessa into his arms. He puts her against his shoulder, patting her back to get her to burp, which she does immediately. Mom trades places with him then heads into the kitchen to prepare supper for us, one of her favorite things to do.

"How did things go with Marcus?" Dad asks. "Did he have anything useful to add?"

"It went about as expected. He pretty much gave us the same story you did," I say. "Although, he gave us a few disturbing additions."

"Are you sure he can be trusted?" Caleb asks. "We all know Marcus Eaton has been known to exaggerate and even outright lie at times in the past."

"Trust? I'm still working on the idea of trusting my father," Tobias says. "I don't think it will ever fully happen but I believe what he told us this afternoon."

"I hate to admit it, Caleb, but I did, too," I say.

"What did he have to add?" Dad asks, standing patiently before us since there isn't a place to sit.

"He told us that Jeanine and David Benz petitioned the council to make a more ethical death serum." When I say the old faction leader's name, Caleb and Cara's mouths fall open. They obviously didn't know of his involvement, which makes me suspicious of Gavin. _Can Erudite have a leader who isn't corrupt?_

"Apparently, during the initial meeting, she also mentioned that with just a few tweaks, they could make DNA-specific death serums. The excuse she used was just in case war was ever to break out again but I don't believe that for one second. I can only think of one application something like that would be used for, and I think you all know what that would be."

"To kill Divergents," Caleb says, although this doesn't seem like it would bother him much. I wonder if he would change his mind if he knew that this kind of a serum would kill not only his sister and brother-in-law but his very own mother.

"A serum like that wouldn't work," Dad says. "The cause for divergence has been researched since the city's infancy. Scientists don't know what causes it but a specific gene or DNA marker was ruled out decades ago."

"That's basically what Marcus told us," Tobias says. "Is that true, Caleb?"

"From what I've been told, that is correct," he says. "But there are a lot of people who disagree with the assessment and want to keep testing for what makes them different."

"And if one of your researchers found something tomorrow, would a DNA targeting serum be made?" I ask, horrified at the thought. I have children to think about, children who could be Divergent just like both their parents.

"Probably," Caleb says. "I disagree with it though. This may not be a very popular thing to say but Divergents aren't the dangerous ones. It's the ones who target them that have caused the problems … hurting, maiming, _killing_ innocent people." He's angry. "I know for a fact that we can live in peace if everyone would just try to get along."

"You know for a fact?" Dad asks, breaking the awkward silence. Caleb's sudden intake of breath and hanging head makes me realize that he didn't realize exactly what he said. "Do you know someone who is Divergent, son?" I think Tobias and I are both holding our breaths, Dad, too.

"He's protecting me," Cara quietly says. "I'd become a guinea pig if anyone at Erudite found out my secret. Divergents don't last long in Erudite once they're found out as you can imagine."

"I'm sorry," Caleb says to Cara. "I let my big mouth get carried away."

"Try not to beat yourself up," she says. "We're among family." She looks at each of us in turn. "I can trust you, right?"

"How could you have believed those hateful Erudite reports about Abnegation if you're Divergent?" I ask, flabbergasted by her secret. I never would have guessed in a million years. "You had to know that those reports were full of lies."

"Beatrice!" Caleb scolds.

"No, it's alright," Cara says. "It's a fair question. Tris, you've probably never heard your parents speak ill about anything in your life." Well, only Erudite but I keep that to myself. If there's one thing I know about Cara Drake, she is fiercely loyal to her faction. "That kind of negativity can rub off. I believed what my mother told me because I wanted to. But once I got to know Caleb, he made me learn more about myself and I knew the truth. I immediately let the anger and hurt go."

"How did you learn you are Divergent?" Tobias asks.

"My father. Although, I was too young to know exactly what he was talking about at the time," she says. Will's only mentioned his father once, the night Liam was born. He had tears in his eyes telling his newborn son that he wished his grandfather could be there to meet him. "He died when I was 10 and Will was 8. I remember it was a couple weeks before he died, he sat me down and told me to listen carefully. He told me what divergence was and to not believe everything I heard about them. He told me I was special. Two weeks later he was gone. But I remembered every word he told me that night. He helped get me through the aptitude test and initiation. I don't know what I would have done without his valuable advice."

"Does Will know?" I ask.

"I can't risk telling him," she says. "It would make him hate me. I couldn't stand it." Tobias squeezes my hand. She trusted us with her most guarded secret. I think it's time we trust her.

"Cara, he would never hate you. That's impossible," I say. "He's a lot more understanding than you give him credit for. He was fine when I told him I was Divergent."

"What?" Caleb exclaims as Cara's eyes widen. "No."

"I found out at my aptitude test, although I had no idea what was going on, and the most frustrating part for me was that no one would explain anything. I didn't know what it was, what it meant. I'd never heard the word before that day."

"I should have been brave enough to tell you," Mom says from the hall doorway then she walks into the room. "I guess I was suppressing my Dauntless side for so long that I thought I was doing the right thing. I'm sorry Beatrice. I should have had the guts to do what my mother couldn't do either."

"Mom?" Caleb chokes. "You two?"

"You can add me to the list," Tobias says.

"I think my head's going to explode," he says. "My fiancée, sister, brother-in-law, and _mother_ are all Divergent?" He looks over at our father.

"Nope," he says. "I'm the odd man out."

"Are you alright, Caleb?" I ask. "You look a little green. Maybe you should get him something to drink, Mom."

"I'm fine. I'm just trying to wrap my head around this," he says. "I'm surprised I never noticed before. Although I guess it's been living with Cara that has made me more intuitive to divergence. She may have only gotten Erudite on her aptitude test but I know she's a Candor also. She speaks her mind just like a Candor does. So, Beatrice, are you Dauntless and Erudite?"

"That actually would be me," Mom says.

"Dauntless and Abnegation?" he asks, trying again.

"Dauntless, Abnegation, and Erudite."

"Wow," he and Cara say at the same time.

"I've never met anyone with more than one," Cara says. "What about you, Four?"

"Abnegation," he says. "I've never really thought about what my true test would have said. Marcus coached me to get the result he wanted, and I didn't dare go against him."

"Abnegation and Dauntless, maybe," Caleb says.

"Mm, I think Dauntless and Erudite."

"I think he's just like me," I say, staring into the eyes of the wonderful man I'm totally in love with but addressing the room. "He's definitely selfless – he's proved that time and again, he's smart as a whip, and there's never been a better Dauntless soldier _ever_." By the time I'm finished, his cheeks are pink. "So, Cara, you've met other Divergents?"

"You caught that, huh?" she sheepishly asks and we nod. "It's one of the things Dad told me before he died. He gave me a name to contact when I came of age. I knew that if I wanted the man's help, I had to stay in Erudite so I joined the faction that at the time I knew was actively seeking out and killing our kind. The day after initiation was over I called on him, explained who I was, and what I wanted. He was expecting me. He's taught me so much. I probably shouldn't tell you this but in light of what we've found out about Jeanine and the serums today, I'm sure he won't mind. He's one of a handful of Erudite members who works very hard to keep all Divergents hidden."

"I'm not going to ask for his name but does he have any power to help make sure that DNA targeted serums never comes to life?" Tobias asks. "Everyone in this room knows how bad an idea something like that could be." He stares at Peanut who is asleep against my shoulder. She comes from two second generation Divergents at the very least. That has to put her at greater risk. Hopefully, by the time we have to worry about that, the city will learn that they have nothing to fear from people like us.

"Yes, he does," she says. "And I'll report what I learned minus the fact that you all have secrets to keep also."

"We'd appreciate it," Tobias says. "Andrew, did you know that Jonah Thompson and _Black_ were involved in the meetings with Marcus, Jeanine, and David?"

"I knew that they were directly involved, yes. They led our discussions," he says.

"After learning that _he_ has two direct links to the Frankenstein Serum and is originally from Erudite, it made me wonder something. Do you think he could be a plant?"

"We got all the plants," Caleb says, somewhat defensively.

"It's not an accusation, it's more of an idea," I say. "Something struck me when Marcus mentioned his name. Not only did he know about the death serum experiments, now he's been linked to one of Molly's known associates and we have a witness who has seen him with her. Isn't that too much of a coincidence?"

"I personally think Tris is onto something," Tobias says. "We have no idea what his life was like when he lived there, who his friends were. He could have been best friends with Jeanine for all we know."

"He wasn't," Dad quietly says. Sometimes I forget my parents weren't born Abnegation and that they both lived a whole other life before they let their blood fall on the cold gray stones on their Choosing Day. "I was closer to her than he was."

"You were friends with Jeanine?" Caleb and I spit at the same time.

"I was. Our parents were close friends, and we were thrown together from the time we were very young," he says. "Her many intolerances were showing even as a small child. Sometimes I wish I knew what made her that way but other times, I just don't care enough about her to think about it." He grimaces. "I shouldn't have said that. Jeanine and I have a complicated past that is best kept exactly where it is, the past. I shouldn't have said anything." We watch him walk out of the room and Mom turn and follow after him.

"Do you have any idea what that was about?" Caleb asks.

"Not a clue," I say.

"So you think Susan's father is working with Erudite?" he asks.

"No," I say, meaning it wholeheartedly. "I think in the past for one reason or another he sympathized with what Jeanine and then Asher and Dru were trying to do. Whether he actually helped them or not is yet to be seen. But I'm confident he's neck deep in this … _crap_ that's happening now." I almost say shit but catch myself at the last second. My rambunctious boy is being so quiet right now that it's easy to forget he's lying on the couch listening to our conversation. "He's bitter and angry over Ellie's ultimatum, Four. We have to keep the kids close until this is over."

"I agree," Tobias says. Tessa jumps when his phone rings and starts crying. I carefully put Peanut in Cara's arms, making sure she doesn't wake up then take Tessa from her father.

"Ssh, little one," I say as I rub her back. "Go back to sleep."

"Ma ma ma ma ma ma," she sleepily whines.

"That's right, Mommy's got you," I say. I pace a little, bouncing her softly as Tobias talks to someone from Candor on the phone. What I'm getting from his side of the conversation is we're going to the Merciless Mart tomorrow for an interrogation. We've witnessed our fair share in the last year but I think I'm looking forward to this one the most. We need answers.

"Thanks for the call, Jack," he says then hangs up. "Truth serum interrogation tomorrow at 10 a.m. in the Abnegation holding cell. I tried to talk him into a public interview but as it stands right now the charges don't warrant it. I'm sure within five minutes, Jack will regret that decision, and I told him as much."

"Dinner is ready," Dad says as he comes back into the living room. "I'm sorry I just walked off like that but I needed a minute."

"It's okay," I say. As I pass by him on my way to the kitchen, I whisper I love him and kiss his cheek.

"I love you, too, Beatrice," he says.

"Wow, it smells good in here," I say when I enter the kitchen. "Thank you for inviting us to stay."

"I love having you and your brother and your families here," she says. "I miss you."

"I miss you, too," I say as I sit down. I see that Tessa is wide awake now so I sit her in my lap facing the table after moving everything out of her way. Sometimes it's like she has six hands.

"Tyler isn't joining us for supper," Tobias says as he carries Peanut into the room and sits down beside me. "I'll give him some soup later if he gets hungry."

"Is he alright?" I ask. "If he wants to go home, we can leave."

"He doesn't want to leave. He loves it here," he says, "and he's comfortable on the couch. Besides he'll more than likely fall asleep in the next few minutes. Let's just enjoy this wonderful supper your mom fixed."

"You're right," I say. We all sit at the table enjoying the bountiful meal Mom fixed for us, catching up even further. Mom and I offer Cara our help with the wedding but she thanks us both and tells us that she already asked Christina for her help when she spoke with her earlier. She laughs heartily when she explains Christina had already bombarded her with all kinds of ideas, the stress she exhibited earlier when she talked about wedding planning gone. I also ask how Will is doing and she assures us that he is doing well. He apparently napped on and off with Liam throughout the day, Christina at his side. Even though we decided early in the meal not to talk about business the conversation slowly shifts back to the reason we gathered here today.

"I'm going to attend Ethan's interrogation," Dad says. "I'm really surprised that Jack didn't think it was important to question a council member accused of wrong doing in front of an audience. That opens him up to the appearances of impropriety."

"It might be a favor to Candor's newest leader, Kent Nelson," I say. All eyes fall on me when I say the unfamiliar name.

"And why would that be?" Dad asks.

"They are related somehow," I say.

"That's right," Tobias says. "Kent Nelson is Olivia's father and Ethan is her uncle. He could be pulling some strings. I'll have to let Jack know this information in case it's been left out."

"I'm going to attend also," Caleb says. "Our faction needs a representative present if the serums are going to be discussed."

"I would love to attend," Cara says, "but my schedule is full this week. I could move things around but it would be difficult at this late hour."

"What about you, Mom?" Caleb asks. "Do you want to make it a family affair?"

"I'm afraid my schedule is full as well tomorrow," she says. "You'll just have to handle things without Cara or me. Do you think you're up for the task?"

"I think we can handle it," Dad says with a chuckle. I study his face for a moment then glance in my Mom's direction. They're both wearing identical silly grins. It's nice to see them looking happy again. Moaning captures my attention and I turn my head to find Tyler stumbling into the kitchen. When he squeezes between Tobias and me, I feel heat radiating off of him. I shift Tessa into my other arm and Tobias lifts Tyler onto my lap.

"How are you feeling?" I kiss the top of his head. He's so hot.

"I hungwy but my tummy yucky," he sighs as he leans back against me.

"I made a small batch of chicken noodle soup in case you got hungry, Tyler," my mom says. "Would you like a bowl?" He looks up over his shoulder at me.

"Grandma makes really good chicken noodle soup," I say.

"Yes, peas," he says.

"Would you like some ginger ale, too?" she asks him then looks at me. "I'll add some water."

"That would be great. Thanks, Mom," I say. She sets a bowl of soup in front of Tyler then gets him a sippy cup of weakened ginger ale. He eats about half of it then goes back to the couch.

"I'm afraid we're going to have to go," Tobias says when we finish. "We need to get Tyler home and in bed. He seems like he's getting worse instead of better. We might have to make a trip to the infirmary."

"I'll help you pack the car," Dad says as Tobias hands Peanut to Mom.

"I'm sorry we have to go," I say. "I wish we could stay and visit some more."

"I understand why you have to go." Peanut's eyes flutter open and she frowns before she starts crying. "You don't have to apologize."

"She's probably hungry," I say. "I was hoping she wouldn't wake up until we got home. Does she still feel warm?"

"I'm afraid so," she says after she kisses her forehead.

"I'll hold Tessa," Caleb says.

"Thanks," I say. He picks her up and starts making faces, eliciting squeals of delight from her.

"She is such a happy baby," Cara says.

"She is," I say as I take Peanut. "I'm going to take her upstairs to feed her. Will you tell Four for me?"

"Of course," Mom says. I grab the diaper bag then go to my old room. I quickly change her into a clean diaper then sit back on the bed, my back against the wall. "Are you feeling better? You don't seem to be as fussy." Her clear eyes stare up at me as she nurses. "Mommy loves you, baby girl."

"Is everything okay up here?" Tobias asks from the doorway.

"Yeah," I say. I move over and he sits down beside me. "How are you? It's been a long day."

"I'm tired," he confesses. "Love, you can't go to Candor tomorrow."

"Why not?" I ask, befuddled. "We'll just take Peanut with us."

"Tyler is sick. She's still under the weather. Tessa isn't 100% yet," he says. "I'm not going to forbid you but don't you think our kids are more important than sitting on an uncomfortable wooden bench most the morning listening to that asshole lament on how we took _his_ kids away from him?" I heave a sigh, unhappy, but realize he's making a valid point that I didn't even think of.

"You're absolutely right," I say. "Our babies are more important than anything." Relief washes over him when I agree. "Did you think you were going to have a fight on your hands?"

"Maybe."

"I can be reasonable you know," I say. He leans over and kisses my temple then sighs. I can tell that he wants to talk about something but doesn't know how to start. He always gets quiet and brooding. "What's on your mind?"

"I'm not sure you want to hear it."

"Try me," I say.

"I think Marcus is actually trying to change," he says. It seems like it's almost painful for him to utter the words. "I'm not sure he's capable of it but I think he's really trying."

"What makes you think that?" I ask, worried that he'll open his heart just to have it permanently damaged by that man.

"This," he says as he takes the delicate glass sculpture out of one of the padded side pockets on the diaper bag. "The man I grew up with would have shattered this into a million pieces the moment he saw it and not thought twice about it. I know that for a fact. I witnessed him shatter his fair share of things he deemed selfish. The fact that he had seen it before and it's still intact made me stop and think."

"Does it really make a difference to you if he changes?"

"Well, we'll never be buddy-buddy. That's an impossibility," he says. "I'll never be able to fully trust him after everything he's done – the scars run too deep – but if I can stop feeling hatred and fear every time I look at the man, I think that would be a good thing. Don't you?"

"Absolutely," I say, meaning it wholeheartedly. "You know how I feel about this, Tobias. I don't want you hurt. If he hurts you, I'll kill him."

"I don't think it makes a real difference anyway," he says. "I have no desire to socialize with him or expose the kids to him. I just need to forgive him."

"You're a better person than I am," I say. "But I understand your thinking. You don't want how you feel about him to have a negative impact on your life."

"It's already had a profoundly negative impact. I'm ashamed that I allowed him to hurt me the way he did."

"It's not your fault," I say. "You were a _child_. He's your father. He was supposed to love you and protect you. He shouldn't have been the one you needed protection from. That wasn't love … that was control." I pause before I ask my next question. "Do you think I'm weak because I refuse to forgive him?"

"You're not weak, quite the opposite actually. You are the strongest woman I've ever known. You've never let what he did consume you," he says. "Before I met you, I had the tendency to dwell on my shitty childhood, and it changed who I was here." He bumps his fist against his chest, directly overlying his heart a couple times. "Then I met you, and I started to remember who the real Tobias Eaton was. I need to forgive him because I need to heal." I raise my lips to his, and he kisses me softly. Peanut whines just as he thrusts his tongue between my parted lips and strokes it against mine. He pulls away, and we look down at our daughter who is frowning at us.

"She looks like Tyler with that little frown on her face," I say with a chuckle. "What is it with our kids not liking us to kiss?"

"They'll just have to get used to it because I'm not ever going to stop kissing you."

After another brief kiss, I try to latch Teagan back on to my breast but she's had enough so I put the medication on her thrush patches then we head downstairs. While I get the girls into their car seats, Tobias carries a sleeping Tyler to the car. He immediately comes back in and carries the girls out and fastens them into the car while I say goodbye to my family.

"Thank you for lunch and dinner and for watching the kids when we were occupied. We'll have to do this again soon. Hopefully, minus all the drama though," I say as I hug my mom and then my dad. "Dad, I thought I'd see you tomorrow at Candor but I've got sick kids so I'm staying home."

"I understand," he says. "I'm sure Four will catch you up on everything we learn."

"I'm sure he will, too," I say. I hug Caleb and then Cara before getting in the car. "We'll see you soon." I wave and tell everyone goodbye again then the car pulls away from the curb. "I think I'm ready to get home." It's been a long, emotionally exhausting day.

"Me, too, love," he says, resting his hand on my knee. "Me, too."


	96. Chapter 96

We are still in the car, driving back to Dauntless after a long, hectic day in Abnegation as I stare out the window. I've always loved this time of the year, fall … autumn … harvest … whatever you want to call it. I have always loved watching emerald leaves turn spectacular shades of gold, crimson, and rust then swirl and dance on the crisp breeze until they make their way to the ground. Mom would always give me and Caleb hot apple cider after school under the guise that it was to warm us after walking home in the cooler temperatures but I know now that it was just her way of giving us an extra special treat because she loves us so much.

"We should take the kids to the Harvest Festival," I say out of the blue, remembering the celebration they hold in Amity each year on the weekend before Halloween. It was magical. "I think Tyler would have a great time." I turn in my seat to look at my little man. He's sound asleep between his sister's car seats, his cheeks flushed with fever. "I hope he gets to feeling better soon. I hope they _all_ get to feeling better soon."

"I do, too," Tobias says. "And we'll definitely make plans to go to Amity for the festival. I remember how much you loved it last year. I'm sure Tyler will love it, too." I gaze out the window as clouds roll in to cover the magnificent sunset.

"It looks like it could rain," I sigh.

"As long as it doesn't storm," he says. He's right about that. "I thought of something earlier when we were talking to your parents. Do you know what today is?" When I recall the date, I can't believe I forgot.

"Today is my due date," I say. "I can't believe she's five weeks old already. It seems just like yesterday I was yelling at you in the hospital elevator telling you that we would never have s-e-x again. I felt like I was dying." He shakes his head and chuckles under his breath at my spelling. Can't be too careful. "I guess I didn't keep my word."

"I never thought you would," he says as he brings our joined hands to his mouth and kisses them before returning them to my knee where they've been resting the entire trip. "On a more serious note, we have to have an important conversation."

"About what?" I ask, his tone scaring me.

"About what would happen to those three in the backseat if something were to happen to us," he says. I squeeze his hand. I don't like thinking about something bad happening to him. "Finding out why _Black_ sent Olivia after us made me think. We've never talked about guardians."

"I really don't want to talk about this," I mutter. Why tempt fate?

"Neither do I but it's the responsible thing to do," he says. "I'd like to think that nothing will ever happen to either of us and that we will live happily ever after like all the prince and princesses in Tyler's storybooks but this is real life. People die, and we happen to live in the faction with the highest mortality rate amongst young people. There have always been suicides, tragic accidents, and stupidity in the mix at Dauntless but since we took over as leaders think of the number of people who have been murdered. We both need to know that Tyler, Tessa, and Teagan will be together, loved, and well taken care of if the unthinkable happens." I know he's right but my stubborn nature doesn't want me thinking about making my kids orphans. It makes my heart hurt.

"I know this is a conversation we need to have sooner rather than later but…"

"All we need to do is think about who would give them the best home if we weren't around," he says. "For example, Marcus is nowhere on the list of possibilities." I finally look at him. A small smile forms on his lips.

"I know you're trying to lighten the mood but this really isn't a laughing matter." His face goes somber and he sighs.

"You're absolutely right," he says. "That was in poor taste."

"I understand what you're saying though," I say. "My parents would be an excellent choice … _except_ … I wouldn't want them raised Abnegation. Whoever it is needs to be Dauntless."

"See, one decision made. That wasn't that hard, was it?" he says. "I happen to agree with you 100% by the way. There's nothing wrong with our upbringing, well yours, but I want our kids to experience everything life has to offer and Abnegation can be stifling. I think Tyler would suffocate there."

"An obvious choice would be Zander and Stella, except they already have their hands full with their twins alone. They would love them like they were their own I'm sure but would they get the attention they deserve with so many other children in the home?"

"What about Zeke and Shauna?"

"No offense to your best friend, I love him, I do, but I think that you need to be more mature than a child to raise one," I say. "I guess that would leave Uriah out also. Besides my kids will eat more than cake three meals a day. What about Will and Christina?"

"No offense to _your_ best friend but I don't think she has it in her to not play favorites," he says. "She would love her biological children more and whoever we choose can't do that. They have to be loved like they are their own children."

"I have an idea but I don't know if it's a good one or not," I say.

"Who?" he asks.

"Avery."

"Avery?" I study his face, which is diligently watching the road. I can't tell what he thinks of my idea.

"I know she's young but she's the same age I was when we took in Tyler and agreed to adopt Tessa not to mention when I became pregnant. She loves our kids and Tyler for one loves her, too. She's mature, level-headed, and has a good head on her shoulders." I look over my shoulder at my kids. "I don't plan on leaving those three … _ever_ but I would feel good knowing she was taking care of them."

"She is everything you said," he says. "She seems years older than she actually is. She thinks things through before she acts, which is hard for most Dauntless. She's responsible. She loves Tyler, Tessa, and Teagan and they love her, too, especially Tyler. But I'm not sure she would be my first choice."

"Who would be your first choice?" I ask.

"James and Ciara, I think," he says. "They've been married a couple years now so they are a solid, committed couple. They're having a baby of their own so they obviously want children. I've seen them interact with our kids. They're good with them."

"I can see your point. They would be a good choice but I still think Avery would step up," I say. "We don't have to rush into this decision though. We have time. We're not going anywhere, either of us."

"No, we're not," he says. I see the compound up on the left when he says, "I'll park at the Pire, we'll get the kids inside, I'll unload the car, then take it to the garage."

"No, go ahead and park," I say. "There's no need for you to make multiple trips. I'll carry Tyler and you can get the girls. We can unload the car some other time. I don't want you out by yourself."

"Okay," he says after mulling it over for a moment. We drive past the well-lit public portion of the compound and around the side of the building to the entrance of the underground garage, which seems unusually dark tonight. Tobias pulls into our regular parking space and turns off the engine. "I think I need to send maintenance down here to change out some lightbulbs." I look out and see what he's seeing, random lights in every direction are dark, making it hard to see. "Maybe there was a power surge or something." He sends a quick text as I step out of the car. I immediately know the lightbulbs didn't just burn out when I hear and feel the glass beneath my running shoes. They were broken. We're not alone. My heart starts pounding painfully in my chest, and I'm about to get back in the car when I see a flash of red hair and then I sigh.

"Oh, it's just you," I say. I'm _not_ in the mood to deal with her tonight.

"What do you want, Olivia?" Tobias asks as he steps out of the car. I unthinkingly take a step back and stand near the backseat where the kids are asleep. When I glance in Tobias' direction, he's protecting his side of the car just like I am.

"Aren't you glad to see me, Tobias?" she drawls, trying to sound sexy I imagine but it just sounds pathetic to my ears. "I'm happy to see you. I've missed you _so_ much. I bet you've missed me, too."

"Seriously," I mutter under my breath as I roll my eyes.

"When will you get it through you thick skull that we don't have a relationship?" he says. "I don't even like you."

"I know you don't like me," she says. _Finally!_ "You love me." _Dear, God!_ "Let's ditch the little bitch and go somewhere private and fuck. God, the thought of your big, hard cock pounding in and out of my tight little pussy again makes me so wet. Mmm." She licks her lips. "You know you want to." Her words are so absurd that instead of making me angry, I start laughing ... uncontrollably. I guess I really am tired because nothing about this is funny. Her face twists with rage when she looks my way.

"You. Are. Hilarious," I say, tears rolling down my face, my chest heaving with exertion. I try to catch my breath but it's no use.

"Stop … _laughing_ … at … me," she roars but I can't. I'm too exhausted emotionally and physically, and once the giggles set in, I have a hard time getting rid of them.

"And what are you going to do about it if I don't?" I ask goading her, still chuckling.

"Tris," Tobias says with a shake of his head. It's a warning. Laughing at the unstable girl in front of us is probably not the greatest idea I've ever had. "She's insane."

"I am _not_ ," she spits. She takes a step toward him, and I see a flash of silver in her hand. I study it while she rages at him but she's still partially shrouded in darkness, and it's hard to make out. "How dare you say that? That's not the way to treat the woman you love. Just because your _wife_ is here doesn't mean you have to pretend. I'm here now. We can leave and you never have to see her or the brats again."

"She has a knife, Tobias," I say when I finally make out the shape in her hand, all trace of humor gone. She holds it up and looks at it with her head cocked to one side like she didn't realize it was there.

"That's right, you've never seen me with one of these," she says, waving the weapon around while she points it at me. The thought that she is manic crossed my mind once before, and she seems to be proving it again tonight. She's all over the map emotionally. "Molly taught me how to throw knives and shoot a gun. She's a much better teacher than you, _Tris_." How she can make my name sound like a filthy expletive every time she says it is beyond me. "I'm quite good at it. Here, let me demonstrate"

When she takes the stance Tobias taught Molly and me last year, he says as calmly as he can, "No, you don't need to show us. We believe you." I suddenly wish he had gotten the gun out from under his seat before he got out of the car. Maybe he did. "You never told us why you're here."

"I don't think I'm quite ready to tell you just yet," she says, looking back his way, returning to her flirty ways. I realize my heart is once again painfully pounding in my chest.

"Well, if you aren't going to tell us what you're doing here, Tris and I are getting in this car and leaving," he says. "I have more important things to do than stand here and talk to you." I take another step forward but this catches her attention and she turns her body toward mine, wielding the knife in front of her.

" _Stay there!_ " she spits. I stop my advance but see Tobias slide another foot or two toward her.

"We talked to your uncle today," Tobias says to her, eliciting her attention. "He told us everything." She's much calmer when he's the one addressing her so it's probably a good idea that I not interrupt him.

"I know," she says, sounding sad. "They took him to Candor for questioning tomorrow but I doubt he makes it through the night. We have friends there, you know. He knows too much and no one can stand in the way of our plan. Not even family." My eyes meet Tobias' for a split second, and I see genuine fear in them for the first time since we realized we had company in the garage.

"What's your plan?" he asks. "Can you tell us that?"

"Tris' total annihilation, of course," she sing songs. "I was more than happy to help my new friends when you threw me away and made me factionless. I still can't believe that you had sex with me and just threw me away like that. I deserve better than that, Tobias, but I forgive you. When two people are in love that's what they do, forgive and forget."

"For ... the ... _last_ ... time, we never had sex. We never _will_ have sex. I don't love you. I don't even _like_ you," he says, trying to rein in his anger while taking another small step in her direction. We need to get her into custody as soon as possible but he's right, she's bat shit crazy, and that means she's dangerous and unpredictable. "I thought all of this was an act orchestrated by your uncle but you need help."

"The only thing I need is you," she says. "If you tell Tris the truth right now, I promise I will tell you everything." I'm not sure I can stand hear and listen to him profess his love for her and that I mean nothing to him like he did a few months ago when Maria kidnapped my mother. It would be a smart move so we can learn the whole truth but how much emotional damage do I have to suffer at these crazy women's hands?

"Tris knows the truth," he says after a long pause. I keep my face stoic and my eyes on her since I really don't know what version of the "truth" is coming. "She's my best friend. She's my wife. She's the mother of my children. I could lie to you and tell you what you want to hear to get the truth out of you but she's the one I want. She's the one I love. It will always be her. I'll never want another. I'm sorry, Olivia." The smile splayed across her face slowly disappears with each word until her look can only be described as shattered.

"You don't…" she mutters but she doesn't finish her statement. Is it possible that she's actually hearing him for the very first time since Ethan Black sent her after us? She turns and very deliberately stares at me, her expression no longer defeated but determined. No, she's not giving up. My eyes flicker to the knife, and I see her hand tighten around the hilt. "This is _your_ fault. He's supposed to love _me_. I'm supposed to be the one he wants." Her voice is calm but her body is tense. "He'll just have to learn to love me … once _you're_ gone." As she lunges my way, Tobias takes the gun he hid in his waistband and draws.

"Stop!" he yells. "Don't make me use this on you. You are sick. You need help but if you don't put that knife down and slowly back away from my wife, I'll be forced to shoot you. Is that what you want? Do you want to force my hand?"

"If you'd just give me a chance, you would see," she pleads. "In no time at all you would forget about her. I can love you right, the way a man like you deserves to be loved. Don't throw away what we could have because of _her_." She holds the hand that doesn't have the knife in it out to him. "Come with me, and I'll let her and the brats walk away right now. Nothing will happen. I promise." I know he has to be contemplating her offer just so I can get the kids to safety. Hell, I'm considering it, and I'd rather walk naked across the stage at the Choosing Ceremony than have my husband alone with that crazy bitch for one minute. "If you don't come with me, I'll use this to carve a big smile on her face. It's up to you."

I'm concentrating so hard on Olivia and the knife she's waving around that I don't see Drew until it's too late. He comes up behind Tobias and roughly grabs him around his head and injects a reddish-orange colored serum into his neck. They struggle for the gun until I watch the spark go out of Tobias' eyes, and when Drew releases him, he crumples to the dirty garage floor. I hear metal sliding across the floor but I have no idea where our only means of protection landed.

" _No!_ " I cry out as Olivia barks, "What the _hell_ are you doing, you asshole?" All the fight she was showing mere seconds ago has vanished. "You weren't supposed to hurt _him_. You were supposed to inject Tris. She's the one we all want dead. You're not following the _plan_." She's livid but I'm not. I feel absolutely nothing at the moment, kind of like I'm having an out of body experience. I can't believe what I just witnessed. They gave him the Frankenstein Serum, I just know it.

"That's just what we told you, Liv," a familiar voice says. The numbness is replaced by a hatred unlike anything I've ever felt before in my life. She better hope I don't get my hands on her because if I do, she's dead. I look toward the sound of her harsh, nasally voice but the shadows are concealing her. "We don't want her dead. In fact we want her very much alive and suffering unimaginable, unending pain."

"I want her to hurt, too, but why did you have to kill him?" Olivia whines. "I love him. He was supposed to be mine. You promised."

"I never promised not to hurt Four. I only promised you that Tris would pay for what she did to you." Why the hell do these evil bitches think I'm the devil incarnate? Can't they take responsibility for any of their own actions?

"This isn't what I signed up for," she pouts, crossing her arms across her chest like an obstinate two year old. I'm surprised she didn't just stab herself. "You told me that you wouldn't hurt him. _He's mine_."

"Shut. The. _Hell_. Up," comes from the darkness.

"Why don't you show yourself, Molly?" I'm surprised I'm able to keep the strangling fear I'm now feeling out of my voice. Maybe it's because it isn't fear for myself or even Tobias, it's for the three sleeping angels in the backseat of the car who have no idea what's going on right now. _Please, God, don't let that conversation we had earlier be a dark omen of what's to come._ "Or are you hiding in the shadows and letting your minions do all the dirty work because you're afraid."

"Afraid!" she scoffs before sauntering out from the shadows in between the cars directly across from us, a smug smile on a face only a mother could love. "Here I am, _Stiff._ Have you missed me?" I stare at her, hatred in my eyes. "I guess not." I scan my surroundings to get an idea of what I'm up against. There's a camera about 25 feet away that records 24/7 but I imagine Lauren is monitoring it and shut down the surveillance feed the moment she saw us enter the underground garage just like she did the night Frankie died and Tori went missing. Drew is slowly making his way to the rear of the car, obviously to come up behind me. Molly slowly makes her way to stand at the head of the car just on the other side of Olivia who looks shell shocked. She wasn't expecting anything like this to happen and that could be the one thing that helps get me out of this. My eyes glance at the ground and there by the tire, is the gun Tobias was holding minutes ago. If I could distract them long enough to pick it up, I could easily take them out then get Tobias to the infirmary.

"Are you going to let Molly get away with taking Tobias from you, Olivia?" Everyone stops and looks at me when my voice cracks. I clear my throat before I continue. "I know you love him just as much as I do. Killing him doesn't just take him away from me, it takes him away from you. It doesn't just hurt me, it hurts you. You were willing to go along with Molly's plan because you blame me for getting you kicked out of Dauntless but what are you going to do now that _she_ is the one who eliminated that dream forever?"

"She's right," Olivia exclaims, turning to face Molly. I never thought I would see the day that we were on the same side of an issue. "Drew was supposed to inject _Tris_ tonight, and I was supposed to comfort Tobias. _That_ was the plan. Why did you fuck it all up, Molly?"

"Liv, we all want Tris destroyed for our own reasons. How did you think we were going to do that?" she asks exasperatedly. I angle my body so I can see everyone and slide a little closer to where the gun is laying without being noticed. "First, we kill her beloved Four and then her brats." I gasp when she mentions my kids. "She'll never be the same."

"If you fucking _touch_ my kids, I'll slowly peel the flesh from your bones and shove it down your throat until you choke on it, you psychotic bitch," I say, my voice deadly serious. I'm not messing around. You don't threaten my children and get away with it. "They are innocent in all this. If you want to hurt me, _hurt_ me. I'm right here. I won't even lift a finger to try and stop you." I hold my hands out at my side in a gesture that says come and get me. "What are you waiting for? Haven't you killed enough people to get to me? Here's your chance, you evil bitch." Molly cocks her head to one side and her lips turn up into a bone chilling smile.

"Before I'm finished with you, you'll be begging me to kill you," she says. "Drew, get the kids." _No, no no!_ This can't be happening. I can't let them hurt my kids … I _won't_ let them hurt my kids. I move with lightning fast reflexes and dive for the gun. Before they realize what I'm doing, I roll and fire directly at Drew, putting a round just above his heart and another in the center of his chest, causing him to stumble backward then slide down the wall until he's sitting on the ground. The gunshots are very loud and echo off the floor, low ceiling, and vehicles I'm standing between. My ears ring painfully and I can barely hear anything except the rapid pace of my heartbeat. I wish I had time to relax but I still have two psychos to deal with. I turn, aiming the gun up but no one is there. I stumble to my feet, the gun wrapped tightly in my hand and rush around to the other side of the car.

"Tobias, baby, can you hear me?" I ask. He is sitting against the side of the car, unresponsive. I put trembling fingers against the pulse point in his neck and find a rapid heartbeat. " _Damn them!"_ I put my mouth against his ear and say, "It's a simulation, Tobias. It can't hurt you. I'm right here, baby. Please come back to me. The kids are here, too." At the mention of the kids I jump up and open the door to find all three of them wailing. "Mommy's here. Calm down."

"What the hell?" I hear. "Show me your hands." I turn and look into an unfamiliar face, ignoring the gun pointed in my direction. I've never been more thankful to see anyone in my life. "Tris? What's going on?"

"We were ambushed," I say. "Four needs taken to the infirmary … _immediately_. I'll call for back up." I unhook Tessa's car seat and lift it out then unbuckle Tyler who flies into my arms as the two men Tobias apparently texted to fix the lights before we knew it was a setup swiftly pick him up and carry him in the direction of the infirmary.

"You bleeding," he says. I look down and he's right. There is blood on both of my arms but I don't feel anything.

"It's nothing buddy," I say. "You stand right here next to Tessa while I get Teagan." I try to stand him next to his sister's car seat but he won't budge. "I need you to be Mommy's big boy. Can you do that? You need to be strong right now." He looks up at me with wet eyes and a trembling bottom lip and my hatred for Molly grows. She's taken my children's security away.

"Otay," he mumbles. He climbs out of my arms and stands, trembling, with his hand in Tessa's as I climb across the seat and unfasten Peanut's car seat from its base. I put her down next to Tyler and he puts a protective hand on her head.

"You're doing a good job of keeping them calm, buddy," I say as I send a mass text about Tobias to those I think should know then message Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo about taking Drew to the infirmary. Immediate responses start flooding my phone so I shut it off and slide it into my pocket then look at my kids. All three are wide awake and obviously stressed.

"I want my Daddy," Tyler murmurs, tears flooding his face. How do I tell him about this? I don't want to lie but I don't know what the truth is.

"Daddy's … hurt," I say. "Zander is going to do everything he can to make sure he gets better."

"He gonna be otay?"

"I don't know, buddy," I whisper, choking up but I fight back the tears and crippling emotion. My kids need me right now. Tobias needs me right now. Dauntless needs me right now. I can't selfishly think of only myself. "I have to carry your sister's seats. Will you carry the diaper bag for me?" He solemnly nods and I drape it over his head, crossing his body, and it almost drags the ground.

"Tris?" Purple-Hair says as he comes around the car, making me jump. "What the hell happened here?"

"I really don't want to go into that right now … obviously," I say as I glance down at Tyler. "Just get that piece of scum to the infirmary."

"Get who to the infirmary?" he asks. "There's no one here but you and the kids."


	97. Chapter 97

_There's no one here but me and the kids?_ Impossible! I just put two bullets in the chest of that worthless piece of shit, Drew Boyd. You don't just get up and walk away from an injury like that. I pick up the girls' car seats and have Tyler walk ahead of me to the end of the car but have him stay where he can't see any of the carnage. I look at the wall behind the car expecting it to be smeared with blood but even in the dim light I can tell it's clean; however, there is a tiny blood pool on the ground and a trail leading away from the scene, deeper into the garage.

"Do you see that?" I ask Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo, pointing at the blood droplets and they both nod. "Follow that. Find Drew Boyd and arrest him then get him some medical attention. I shot him … twice." I would have emptied the gun if I'd have known that the act would make Molly and Olivia run off. "I also need your men to locate and arrest Molly Atwood and Olivia Nelson. They were _just_ here so they couldn't have gotten very far. I also want Lauren Jones taken into custody. I have no direct evidence yet of her involvement in tonight's attack but she'll need questioned anyway. Once they are in custody, immediately take them to Candor for interrogation." I lower my voice so Tyler can't hear. "They tried to kill Four." Both of their eyes widen at the news but I get no other reaction. _Typical Dauntless not wanting to show any perceived weakness._ I don't know if they model themselves after Tobias or if it's the other way around.

"Are you okay to walk the kids to the infirmary on your own?" Purple-Hair asks.

"Yes. We'll be fine," I say. "It's more important to make those arrests. Go, please."

"Yes, Tris," they say in unison then turn and follow the trail of blood that will lead directly to Drew. He can't be far away.

"Come on," I say to Tyler. He walks in front of me on the way to the infirmary, his little legs moving as fast as they can carry him but it still feels like we're crawling. I practice my deep breathing exercises, trying to calm myself. I know it's not his fault, and I don't want to take my frustration out on him but I need to get to Tobias.

"Tris?" Zeke calls out as he and Uriah come jogging up to me. "What happened?" They each take a car seat from me, and I pick up Tyler who clings to my frame for dear life.

"Molly is what happened," I quietly say as we rush to the infirmary. "I'll explain it fully when we don't have little ears listening." They both nod in understanding, and the rest of the frantic trip is made in silence.

I waste no time pausing at the intake desk to deal with the unfamiliar looking nurse who is probably a fill-in from another faction after we rush into the infirmary waiting room. I make a mental note that we need additional Dauntless staff here in the infirmary. I hear her call out as we hurry through the double doors. I go straight into the now very familiar examination room across from where Zander and his team are working diligently to stabilize Tobias. Will and Christina are already there waiting for me. I set Tyler on his feet, and she practically tackles me in a hug. I cling to her and let a few frightened tears escape then pull myself together. I have to be strong right now for my husband and children. I can break down later.

"Tris, I think you need a doctor yourself," she says as she stands back looking at me. "You have blood everywhere." She looks at something on my hip. "Is that glass?" I glance where she's pointing and see a rather large piece of glass protruding from my hip, which actually makes my stomach turn but I feel nothing. I'll never feel anything again if he doesn't pull through. _No, you can't allow yourself to think that way, Tris._ He's Divergent. He can beat this. He _will_ beat this. "I'll go tell the nurse at the front desk that you have some injuries that need looking at then you need to tell us what happened."

"Not until Avery and Callen get here to watch the kids," I quietly yet forcefully say. "I'm not talking about this in front of them. They've been traumatized enough for one night, especially Tyler."

"I understand. You don't have to talk about it in front of him," she says. "I'll be right back." She motions for Will to follow her then walks out of the room. I look down at Tyler when I hear him sniffling and see silent tears once again rolling down his face. My poor boy. I pick him up and hold him tightly as I sit down on the cold, metal chair next to the bed, the girls' car seats at my feet. I wrap my arms around him and kiss his head as he clings to me.

"Avery and Callen will be here soon to sit with you and your sisters while Mommy has her ouchies looked at," I say. "I won't be far, and if you need me for _anything_ you just tell Avery or Callen, and I'll come see you as soon as I can. A bad man and woman hurt Daddy, and I need to make sure that everyone is looking for them and the people who helped them."

"Don't go," he whines.

"I don't want to leave you, I don't," I kiss his head, "but sometimes grownups have to do things they don't want to do so I need you to do me a favor, okay? Be a big boy and look after your sisters. I only have the strength to worry about one thing right now and that's catching the people who did this to Daddy."

"Otay," he says. "I be big boy and help."

"Thank you," I say. "Can I have a kiss?" He lifts his chin and his puckered lips meet mine. "I love you so much, Tyler."

"Love you, Mommy," he says. I hold him in a death grip until he signals that my embrace is too tight. After a few minutes, Tessa starts whining from her seat, triggering Teagan's cries. They hate being strapped in their car seats any longer than absolutely necessary. They'd rather be free. I'm surprised that it's taken this long for them to complain. I slip down to the floor with Tyler still in my lap and unbuckle my girls. Tessa tries to sit up and almost falls out of her seat head first so I pick her up and sit her on the floor. Tyler gets up off my lap and starts digging through the diaper bag. I'm about to ask what he's looking for when he pulls out her purple butterfly.

"You want you toy, Tess?" he asks as he hands it to her. A small smile lifts my lips, thankful that they have such a strong bond. I pick Peanut up and hold her close to my chest. I close my eyes and block everything out that's happening. I concentrate on my treasured son and daughter who are sitting on the floor right in front of me playing with a plastic tether and the precious infant in my arms. I want to tell them that everything will be okay, that Daddy will be home in a couple days and we'll be back to normal in no time but I don't want them to hate me forever if that turns out not to be the case.

"Tris?" Isobel softly says from right in front of me. I force myself to open my eyes and face the grim reality. I see my friend squatting down right in front of me, concern on her face.

"Have you heard anything?" I ask, eager to know something, _anything_.

"Not yet," she says apologetically. "I need to look at your cuts. We don't want them getting infected."

"Okay," I say. "But not here though. I don't want to scare them." I motion to the kids.

"I understand," she says.

"Avery, I need you to watch Tyler and Tessa," I say. "Don't let them out of your sight for one second. I already told Tyler that if he needs me for anything that you or Callen would come get me. Teagan needs nursed very soon so I'll take her with me."

"Okay, Tris," she says. She sits down on the other side of Tyler and Tessa, and he immediately crawls into her lap, wrapping his arms around her and she kisses the top of his head. "Oh, you're warm, buddy." God, how could I have forgotten that? He was just in my arms minutes ago.

"I'm afraid Teagan shared her germs," I say. "Could you give him a dose of the children's acetaminophen in the diaper bag? It's the blue bottle. Teagan's thrush medicine is in the green bottle but make sure I didn't mix that up before you give anything to him. Mommy loves you, Tessa. I love you, Tyler."

"Love you, Mommy," he says. I kiss his forehead and hate that this is going on while he's sick. He should be resting. Isobel takes Peanut from me then gives her back once I get to my feet. I follow her out into the hallway, motioning for Christina to join me. When we walk into the sterile exam room down the hall, I turn to my best friend.

"I know this isn't the best time right now for you and Will but I need you, Christina," I say. "Will you hold her?"

"Of course," she says. "Will and I both are here for you, whatever you need."

"Thank you," I say as I carefully put Peanut in her arms.

"I need you to take your clothes off very carefully, Tris," Isobel says as she studies my body. "I see several pieces of glass, which means there are more than likely ones not visible to the naked eye." I carefully step out of my pants and when I look down, I'm shocked at the number of cuts and shards of glass that are in my legs. I don't feel a thing. I take my shirt off and shiver when a chill runs through me.

"What happened?" Christina asks.

"Drew tried to kill Four," I mumble. "I shot him but then he disappeared."

"Why don't you start at the beginning," she says but not unkindly. She sits down next to the examination table as Isobel starts examining my backside, hips, thighs, and calves for glass shards in my many wounds. I should probably feel what she's doing but I don't, which worries me for a split second but then I remember what the love of my life is going through right now just down the hall and I feel guilty for thinking of myself. I don't exactly know how this serum works but with simulation serum running through his veins, I just know he's experiencing his greatest fears and with the death serum mixed in, it has the potential to kill him. A tear slides down my cheek and lands on the floor beside Isobel.

"Do you know what today is?" I say out of the blue. "Today is my due date. I'd rather give birth a thousand times over to keep Tobias from experiencing what he's experiencing right now." The fog in my head clears a little, and I look at my best friend. "We pulled into the garage after spending a long day in Abnegation. He wanted to stop at the Pire and unload the kids but for some reason, maybe because of what we learned from Ethan Black today, I didn't want him to be alone, and maybe I talked him into going to the garage because he didn't want me to be alone."

"What did you learn from the sperm donor?" Christina asks, using our special nickname for Evelyn's lover. I quickly tell her and Isobel about learning that he once again wanted contact with the kids and that he sent Olivia after us to break us up in hopes of getting custody of them.

"Ellie is divorcing his ass," I mutter.

"It's about time," she says. "Go on with your story."

"We noticed a lot of burnt out lightbulbs when we pulled into the parking garage. Neither of us really thought anything about it. He called maintenance to come fix them. I guess we should have been suspicious because, in fact, they were broken." I look down at Isobel. "That's where all the glass came from." I look back at Christina. "The minute I got out of the car I knew something was wrong but I calmed down the minute I saw that it was just Olivia. She's always been crazy annoying but she'd never been violent so I didn't think we had anything to worry about. She made another play for Four but we soon learned that she was just the distraction. It worked. Drew snuck up behind him and injected him with the serum that has killed so many already."

"You don't know that for sure," Christina says.

"Yeah, I do," I say. "Molly basically told me as much. Their plan, which I think was moved up because Ethan Black was taken into custody, was to kill my husband and my kids and make me watch."

"How could someone be so evil?" Isobel gasps as she continues digging various sized shards of glass out of my body.

"I need my phone," I say. "I just remembered that they hinted that a hit was placed on Ethan Black, not that I would mind if he died but he has to answer for what he did legally." Christina hands me my phone, and I immediately dial Jack Kang.

"Kang, here," he gruffly says.

"Jack? This is Tris Prior from Dauntless."

"Not really a good time, Tris," he says. "Can I call you back?"

"I'm sorry to bother you but this is very important. Four was attacked tonight. He was given the same serum that has already killed three people."

"I'm sorry, Tris," he says with genuine sorrow in his voice but I don't want him feeling sorry for me, for Tobias. He will pull though this, I just know.

"Thank you but that isn't the information I need to pass along. Olivia Nelson, I'm sure you're familiar with the name, told us before Four was attacked that Ethan Black would be killed tonight because he knows too much." I hear him gasp. "They've already gotten to him, haven't they?"

"He was found unresponsive approximately half-an-hour ago but we really don't know what's wrong with him," he says. "What's this serum?"

"It's an advanced death serum developed by Jeanine Matthews," I say. I think I hear him growl at the mention of her name. She's been dead over a year, and she's still causing trouble in the city. "There's no known antidote." The moment that comes out of my mouth, Cara's words echo in my head. "Actually, that might not be true. Get some peace serum and give it to him. We were told today by an Erudite informant that while she was developing these serums, Jeanine learned that peace serum has the tendency to render the other serums useless when they are mixed. It might not work but it's worth a try." I look down at Isobel and say, "Go tell Zander that. Four needs peace serum." When she hesitates I scream, "Now!" She scrambles to her feet then disappears out into the hallway.

"Thank you for the information," Jack says. "Did Olivia give you an idea of who she was working with?"

"Ex-Dauntless initiates who were made factionless last year, Molly Atwood and Drew Boyd, who were both Candor transfers and a Dauntless member named Lauren Jones as well as Ethan Black. She didn't indicate who inside your faction was helping them, she just said they had friends there."

"Thank you for the valuable information, Tris," he says. "I hope that Four pulls through. I've always been partial to him. He reminds me of myself at that age. I'm sorry but I've got to go."

"Of course. Please call me if you have an update on Black's condition."

"I will." We both hang up without a goodbye. Isobel comes back into the room, and I feel the need to apologize.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you," I say.

"Hey, you don't have anything to apologize for," she says.

"I'm really trying to keep it together for everyone's sake. This it isn't easy. If I fall apart, I won't do anyone any good but I shouldn't have raised my voice."

"It's fine, Tris," she says as she returns to what she was doing. "I've got all the glass out from back here." She stands up and looks at the gash on my hip. She gently touches it with a gloved hand, and I feel physical pain for the first time since this ordeal started. All these little cuts are going to be worse than when I got shot during the Maria fiasco earlier this year. I glance down at the ragged red scar on my right arm as she continues the examination. "Most of these are superficial but there are five or so that need sutures to close, especially this one on your hip. It's pretty nasty. You can sit down on the examination table." One look at the metal table covered only by a thin mattress and sterile white paper, and I know it's going to be cold. I sit down and wince when she injects a numbing agent into a gash on my knee.

"What else happened?" Christina asks. I forgot I was telling them the story.

"Before we got out of the car, he must have sensed something was up because he got his gun out from under his set, and I'm so thankful he did," I say. "When Olivia threatened me with a knife, he pulled it on her then Drew attacked him. He dropped the gun during the struggle and miraculously it slid to within a couple feet of me. That's when Molly showed herself. When she ordered Drew to try to get my kids out of the car, I dove for the gun, which was lying by the tire in a lot of broken glass. I shot Drew twice but didn't kill him. I don't know if they ran off because I shot him or because they heard the maintenance guys coming. That's what happened."

"Is anyone out looking for them?" Christina asks.

"Yes," I say. "I sent Simon and Tony to arrest them all including Lauren. The last I saw them, they were following Drew's blood trail. I still don't know how he managed to get up and walk away after I put _two_ bullets in his chest." Peanut starts whining and rooting toward Christina's chest. Poor baby's hungry again.

"I'm afraid you don't want me, pretty girl," she says. "You want your mommy." She gets up and hands me my daughter. "I'll give you some privacy. I'll tell the others what happened but I'm sure they'll have questions. Do you want me to give any orders?"

"Yes, I need Zeke to check the security feed," I say. "I imagine it was shut off like it was when Tori went missing but I'd like to know for sure. Thank you." She hugs me then walks out of the room. I put Peanut to my breast and when she latches onto my nipple, the normalcy of the action calms me more than anything has since I stepped out of the car and onto the broken glass.

"I'm sorry," Isobel says. I look up at her and my heart leaps into my throat. "There hasn't been any new news about Four. I'm talking about everything you've gone through in general." She puts the suturing needle down on the sterile tray after closing the wound on my hip. "I'm done with your lower body. I closed five with suture and two others with butterfly strips. Keep them clean and dry. Use waterproof bandages – you can get them in the pharmacy – when showering, otherwise I would recommend not covering them. I'm going to give you some time to nurse Teagan then I will take care of the cuts on your hands and arms." I look at the dried and still seeping blood on my wrists and hands and know she still has a lot to do. "I'll be back soon."

"I'm really worried about your Daddy, Peanut," I say once we are alone in the small procedure room. I always feel better when I talk out what's bothering me with Tessa or Teagan. I think the reason is because they can't talk back and I'm forced to work through my feelings on my own. "When I saw Drew grab him and put that syringe into his neck, I thought my heart was going to stop. I actually think it did for a minute. I don't know what I would do if we lost him. And there's a possibility that he won't come back to us." My voice breaks when I utter my greatest fear out loud. "If that happens, know that he didn't want to leave. He loves you with all his heart and soul. Everything he does, he does for us: you, your brother, your sister, and me." I allow the barrage of tears I've been fighting so hard against to fall unobstructed until they run dry. "He's going to pull through this though, I just know it. Your Daddy is extra special. If anyone can live through this, it's him." A knock on the door makes me look up, and I'm surprised to see my mother. "What are you doing here?" I'm more than a little shy sitting here nursing Peanut in only my bra and panties but she is my mother. "Come in."

"Christina called us," she says. "We rushed right over. Caleb and Cara are with her and Will, your father is with Tyler and Tessa. I needed to make sure you're okay."

"I'm not," I say. "I won't be until I know he's okay."

"Is there anything I can get for you?" she asks.

"Could you ask Isobel for some scrubs?" I say. "She's a nurse, petite, pretty, red hair, pregnant. I think she's wearing light green scrubs but I'm not entirely sure about that."

"I'm pretty sure I passed her in the hallway on my way in."

"Also ask if she has anything I can change Teagan into. Probably Tyler, too. I don't want blood on their clothes."

"Of course." She kisses my forehead then heads out the door. A few minutes later she returns with a pair of aqua scrubs and a pink sleeper for Teagan. She puts the little outfit on her granddaughter as I pull on the set of scrubs, being careful of my wounds. Memories of Tobias and I "playing doctor" flood my memory. Instead of it being a happy thought, a sob chokes me and I break down again. This time my mom holds me while I cry. I didn't know how much I needed her until she was here. I must remember to thank Christina for calling her. Once again, the tears run dry and the hollow numbness returns. I don't know which is worse, feeling too much or feeling nothing at all. There's a knock on the door and, after I say come in, Callen pokes his head into the room.

"Tyler needs you, Tris," he says.

"Okay. I have a few cuts that needs taken care of then I'll be in," I say. "Thanks."

"Hello, Callen," Mom says.

"Aunt Natalie," he says. "Dad's in the waiting room with his girlfriend, Abigail. I know it's not the best of circumstances but he would love to see you."

"Thank you," she says. "I'll make time to stop and see him."

"Here's an outfit for Tyler," Isobel says as she walks back into the room after Callen ducks out.

"Thanks," I say. "I had ahold of him for quite some time. I didn't notice any blood but I wasn't looking either."

"I'll take Teagan with me and put the medicine on her thrush," Mom says. "She looks like she's about ready to fall asleep at any moment. I might say hi to Nathan."

"Okay," I say. "Thank you for being here Mom."

"There's no other place I'd rather be," she says as she caresses her palm gently down my cheek. I watch her walk out the door and an emptiness I hadn't noticed settles over me.

"Put your hands on here." I set my hands, palm side up, on the tray Isobel just pushed over in front of me. She tweezes several pieces of glass out of little cuts on both hands, wrists, and forearms then cleans them thoroughly. I get lightheaded and have to look away after seeing blood continue to ooze out of one of the deeper cuts.

"I think this one is going to take a few stitches to close," she says. As she works, she updates me on what she knows. "Four is stable, although his heart rate and blood pressure are both dangerously elevated. Dr. Parrish is optimistic but he's not making any promises. The next 24 hours are critical. We're waiting for peace serum from Erudite. It isn't kept on hand in any faction except Amity. Candor and Dauntless both had to ask their permission for small quantities. As soon as it arrives, it will be given to him."

"When can I see him, Isobel?" I ask.

"Soon," she says as she finishes the sutures on my right palm and wrist. "Remember, keep the areas clean and dry. You're free to go."

"Thank you," I say. "You're a great friend." She hugs me tightly then reminds me that Tyler needs me. I can hear him before I'm halfway back to the makeshift waiting room. He's huddled on the bed, sobbing, surrounded by Avery, Christina, and my parents but none of them can calm him. "I'm here, buddy, I'm here. I'm sorry it took me so long." Upon hearing my voice, everyone gets off the bed, and I sit down. He crawls into my lap and wraps himself around me. I recognize this cry. He doesn't feel well and he's fighting sleep. I hold him tightly, caressing his hair, and telling him how much I love him, and within a couple minutes, he's out like a light. I gently lay him down on the bed and cover him with the thin blanket. My eyes scan the room until they find my girls. Teagan is sleeping in my father's arms, and Tessa is lying with her head on Will's shoulder but she's wide awake.

"Have you had an update on Four?" Shauna asks.

"He's stable for now but his vitals aren't good," I say. "The next 24 hours are critical." I look at each of my children, lingering on Tyler who looks so much like is father and grief constricts my heart painfully. "He might not make it."

"You can't think that way, Beatrice," Mom says.

"I'm just being realistic," I say, emotion thick in my voice. I shake my head, trying to clear it. "Have any of you had an update I should know about?"

"Zeke texted," Will says. "You were right, Lauren shut down the security cameras, although he thinks it was done at her workstation this time and not remotely. She's not even trying to cover her tracks anymore."

"Something happened today that changed their plans, and they moved up their timeframe," I say. "The only thing I can think of is Ethan Black's arrest. Olivia implied as much and even told us that he would be killed tonight to make sure he didn't talk tomorrow. When I called Jack Kang at Candor I learned that an attempt was already made on his life." My phone buzzes as I'm talking and I'm surprised to find a message from the very person we are talking about.

"What is it?" Dad says.

"That was Jack. Ethan Black didn't make it," I say reading directly from the text. " _Damn it!_ We were going to get answers from him." I bury my head in my hands, trying to collect myself. I'm in danger of losing it.

"Simon and Tony checked in," Will says. I take a deep breath then look up at him. "There's no sign of any of the suspects. Apparently the blood trail they were following ended inside the garage. The theory is they stole a car to make their escape." This just keeps getting better and better. Are we ever going to be free of them?

"I doubt they're stupid enough to take Drew to the hospital in town but just in case they are, I want it checked out," I say. "I'd like to get them into custody sooner rather than later." Tessa looks up and frowns at me then chants mama over and over. "Come here, little one." I take her from Will, and she relaxes into my arms. I kiss her head and automatically sway back and forth in an effort to get her to sleep.

"There's something you should know," Christina says. "The waiting room is full of members. They've been waiting on word of Four's condition since he was brought in. I thought an update would be best coming from you but if you want Will and me to take care of it, we will." Part of me would like to hide with my head in the sand but this is my responsibility. Not only am I his wife but his second in command as well.

"I appreciate the offer, Christina, but I should be the one to speak to them," I say. "I'll be right back. Let's go for a walk, little one." Unfortunately, she's feeling the stress of the situation. "My poor girl. Mommy loves you." When I push my way through the double doors, I stop in my tracks. She was right, this place is packed. There's hardly any room to move. I try to ignore the stares as I make my way to a more centralized position so I won't have to yell too loudly. "Listen up." Everyone turns to looks at me, and the chatter dies instantly. Anxious, curious eyes turn and stare at me. "Thank you so much for being here. You have no idea how much it means to me and Four to know how much you all care. He's in serious but stable condition."

"Was he given the same thing as Harrison and the others?" a voice in the back says. I might as well give them the truth.

"Yes, he was," I say. Shocked gasps and startled cries echo throughout the room. "Dr. Parrish is optimistic that he will be okay but the next 24 hours will be crucial to him making a full recovery."

"Who did this?" someone else asks.

"An alert will be sent out to all of you shortly with names and pictures of the perpetrators," I say. "They are _extremely_ _dangerous_. Their death toll now stands at four, and they've injured two others so if you see them, don't approach. I don't want anyone else dying."

"What can we do?" a man asks.

"Yeah, what do you need us to do?" a young girl asks.

"Go home and get some rest," I say. "There isn't anything to be done. I'll make sure that everyone receives updates on his condition but I think it best to clear out for the night." Some leave without a fight and others grumble on their way out but not everyone leaves.

"Is he going to be okay?" James asks. I walk closer to my friends.

"I don't know," I say, trying to hold it together.

"Are you sure we can't do something for you?" Kirsten asks.

"I'm keeping the kids with me," I say. "Molly threatened their lives. But I need some things. Clothes, diapers. I don't need them now but I would appreciate it if you went to my apartment in the morning and picked up some things for us. I could buy new things but why waste the money."

"Kirsten, Ella, and I will do that first thing," Ciara says.

"Take the guys with you wherever you go until Molly, Drew, Olivia, and Lauren are caught," I say. "I don't want anything else happening because of me."

"You're her target?" Ella asks.

"Mm-hm," I mutter. "My suffering was their endgame." I look down at Tessa and she gives me a little grin. "Tessa, Tyler, and Teagan are the only things holding me together right now. I need to get back to the other two." I give one armed hugs to everyone then head back to the exam room.

"Are they still out there?" Will asks.

"No, I sent everyone home," I say. "Will, Christina, you should go home to Liam. Caleb, Cara, I'm so thankful you came over but there isn't anything here you can do."

"I'm not leaving," Caleb says.

"Why don't you come home with us?" Christina asks. "If Tris needs us, we can be back down here in no time."

"That's a great idea," I say.

"Alright," Caleb says. I give hugs and kisses and tell Will that I will keep in touch via text updates.

"You need to get some rest though," I say to him. "You just got out of the infirmary yourself. I don't want you to have a setback on my account."

"You worry too much, Tris," he says as he hugs me. "I'm fine. Let's concentrate on catching the bastards who did this."

"I agree," I say as I release him.

"If you need anything, anything at all, just let me know," Christina says.

"I will," I say. "And thank you so much for calling my parents. You have no idea how much that means." I think I embarrass her because her ears go red and she doesn't say anything. "Now go home, all of you." We share another round of hugs then I watch them leave the room.

"Beatrice, honey, why don't you send your other friends home," Mom says motioning to Avery and Callen who both look to be on the verge of passing out. "Your father and I will stay with the children."

"You don't have to do that," I say.

"You're right, we don't," Dad says. "We want too."

"Alright. Avery, Callen, go home. Be safe." I watch as they file out of the room hand-in-hand then carefully lower myself onto the thin mattress next to Tyler and Teagan who are both sleeping soundly. Tessa starts whining and rooting so I have Mom get me a blanket. I put her to my breast and tears wet my eyes. I squeeze them shut as tightly as possible trying to keep the moisture at bay.

"It's alright to cry," Dad says. "Or scream if that's what you need to do."

"I'd be a blithering idiot if it weren't for these three," I say, looking at each of my kids who are keeping me sane and strong right now. "But every once in a while I allow myself to think and when I do, the worst thoughts cross my mind. He can't leave me alone with three kids. He made promises." I sit back on the bed while Tessa nurses and stare at the closed door of Tobias' room. What the hell is going on in there? Why is it taking so long? Isobel said I would be able to see him soon but I'm still sitting here over two hours later. I finally pull my phone out and ask for an update from Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo but they have nothing to give. My heart stops then picks up double time when Zander finally walks out of that room and straight to me.

"How are you?" he asks. He picks up my hand and examines Isobel's handiwork.

"How is Four?" I ask. "When can I see him?"

"He's stable," he says. "We finally got a small amount of peace serum from Erudite and administered it to him. His vitals stabilized immediately but he's still unconscious. I'm still not ready to say that he'll make a full recovery. It's just too early to tell."

"Can I see him?" I ask. "I _need_ to see him."

"Of course you can," he says. I kiss Tessa and lay her down beside her brother and sister.

"I'll lie with them," Mom says. "Don't worry, they'll be in good hands. Go. If we need you, we'll come get you."

"Thank you," I say. I give Mom and Dad both quick hugs then walk across the hall. I pause at his door, my heart pounding heavily in my chest. I offer up a silent prayer, asking whoever is listening to please let him pull through. I can't be a widow with three children at 17. I take a deep, cleansing breath, then push the door open.


	98. Chapter 98

I pause after I walk into the trauma procedure room where Tobias is lying on the gurney, resting. I breathe deeply, trying to control the debilitating ache in my chest. He's usually so strong, vibrant, and full of life but now he's so pale and still. I'm not exactly sure what I was expecting but he just looks like he's sleeping. There are no visible injuries except for the redness and swelling on the left side of his neck where Drew injected the debilitating serum he's fighting. He does have an IV in the back of his left hand pumping fluids into his body, a blood pressure cuff attached to the same arm, and familiar looking electrodes attached to his bare chest indicating that it's more than a peaceful slumber.

I force my legs to carry me forward to his side. I pick up his right hand, holding it tightly between my own. Unfortunately, the skin on skin contact does nothing to calm me like it normally does. I have so many things to say to him but I can't talk right now because of the crushing emotions robbing me of my voice. I've never felt such fear, hatred, despondency, and loneliness in my entire life. The depth of each emotion is frightening in itself but when they're combined, the feeling is nearly suffocating. I try to hold back the wracking sobs but I can't, so I bury my head against his neck and let the pent up emotions I've felt since his assault flow out of me. I don't know how long I cry but when I pull back, I feel drained emotionally as well as physically.

"Oh, Tobias," I murmur. "You've got to wake up, baby. You can't leave me. I need you so much. The kids need you. Dauntless needs you. I can't make it in this life without you; you're my rock. You're my everything. I need you to come back to me. We have so much left to do, so much life left to live. You can't leave me." I press my lips against his ear in hopes that I can somehow break through the simulation and make him realize that whatever he is experiencing in his head isn't real. "I love you so much, Tobias Eaton. Can you hear me? I don't know what kind of simulation they put you under but it's not real, baby. You're in your head. I'm right here. The kids are here. All your friends were here until I sent them home for the night. Even my mom and dad are here. We all love you very much and want you to wake up." I think back to the last fear landscape he went through and his greatest fear. A strangled sob escapes my lips as a shiver moves through my body. "It's not real. I'm not dead, baby. The kids aren't dead. We're here, Tobias. You can't jump into the chasm. I promise you, we're here. Just wake up, please." I press my lips to his while I cup his face between my trembling fingers. "Please come back to me." I climb into bed beside him and wrap my arms around him, holding him tightly, doing my best to comfort him, comfort myself. I continue you talk to him like he's awake and listening to every word I say.

Suddenly his EKG starts acting erratically, and his heart rate skyrockets. I jump out of the bed and stare down at him, my hands hovering over him, wanting to help him get through this. Did I accidentally loosen one of the electrodes? It doesn't look like it. He doesn't look any different either but his pulse is higher than I've ever seen a person's. Zander comes bursting through the doors several minutes later even though in reality I'm sure it is only seconds followed by a number of his staff members. He barks for me to leave the room, and after arguing with him and losing, I stumble out the doors and across the hallway into the large room where my family is waiting, which is getting smaller by the second.

"What's going on?" Dad asks. "We heard a commotion."

"I'm not sure," I say. I can't believe how flat and lifeless my voice sounds. "I was talking to Tobias, trying to get him to snap out of the simulation, and his heart rate and blood pressure went through the roof. Zander kicked me out."

"You know doctors don't like working on patients with their loved ones in the room," Mom softly says, placing her hand comfortingly on my shoulder.

"I know but it doesn't make this any easier."

I pace back and forth in the open doorway, once again wondering what the hell is going on in that godforsaken room. If I ever see it again after today, it will be too soon. Seconds tick by turning into minutes, which transform into hours. I comfort Tyler when he has a nightmare and can only get him to fall back to sleep by promising him that his Daddy is going to be okay. I hope I don't live to regret that promise. I nurse Peanut not once but twice during the night and not to feel left out, Tessa decides that she needs my attention also. Isobel checks on me a couple times but has nothing new to offer. I try to stay positive but break down more than once. I'm standing in the doorway, leaning up against the jamb staring at the taunting, unmoving door when Isobel walks up the hall flanked by Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo. I turn and look at my mom who's on the bed with the kids and tell her I'll be right back.

"Do any of you have an update for me? Have you caught any of them?"

"You're not going to like this," Purple-Hair says. I find myself holding my breath waiting for whatever it is he has to tell me. "We found Drew. It appeared that he died of his gunshot wounds before we could find him … until we looked closer. He actually was stabbed through the heart with what looks like one precise blow." Stabbed? _Olivia_? She was pissed at him for injecting Tobias with the Frankenstein Serum but would she go as far as to kill a dying man?

"Has there been any word on Molly, Olivia, or Lauren?" I ask. I look over my shoulder and glance at the door. They put him in that room and if it's the last thing I do, I'll make them pay.

"Molly's dead, too," Snake-Tattoo slowly says. I whip my head around, unsure of what I just heard.

"That can't be right," I murmur. "Drew and Molly are both dead?"

"Each were killed with a single stab wound to the heart, ma'am," Purple-Hair says.

"Tris. My name is Tris not ma'am," I blurt. I hate it when they call me ma'am, and they know it. "Olivia bragged about them teaching her how to use a knife. She even pulled one on Four and me. Threatened to carve a smile into my face. I doubt they knew she would turn on them in the end."

"What would her motive be to kill her friends?" Purple-Hair asks.

"She was livid when Drew injected Four," I say. "For as insane as she is, her feelings for my husband are genuine. She obviously thinks he's dead so she killed them."

"We don't have any proof of that," Snake-Tattoo says.

"Direct evidence? No, but she threatened me and got into a verbal altercation with Molly over Drew's actions. That is proof enough for me. I want her brought in _unharmed_ but if it comes down to either her or you, don't hesitate to take her out. She may appear to just be a silly little girl but the fact is, she is highly unstable, unpredictable, and extremely dangerous. Now that she's killed twice, I don't think she would hesitate to do it again. I want her to be your personal priority. Put someone you trust on Lauren's case."

"There's a problem with that," Purple-Hair says. "We can't find her and there's been no indication of where to start looking. She's not exactly covering her tracks but she isn't screaming, 'Here I am. Look at me, look at me,' either." I take a step closer to the two giant men.

"I want all resources allocated to finding Olivia and Lauren," I say. "No one sleeps until it's done. What did you do with Molly and Drew's bodies?"

"They've been brought into the infirmary for autopsy," Snake-Tattoo says.

"Very well," I say. "Do you have anything else for me?"

"No, Tris," they say in unison.

"Go then," I say. "Find them. Report back with an update at 9 a.m." They turn and walk away without a goodbye. I'm sure they probably think I'm being harsh but I want these bitches brought in, and I want it done now. Even though I'm fine with the fact that Mr. Black, Molly, and Drew all are dead, I wanted them to face justice for what they did not have Olivia take matters into her own hands. There are so many unanswered questions. "Do you have an update on Four's condition? What's going on in there? It's been hours now, Isobel. I'm going crazy here." My heart constricts painfully in my chest. I'm not sure it will ever be the same again.

"Dr. Parrish is having a hard time getting him stabilized," she softly says. "His heart rate is once again dangerously elevated. He's trying everything he knows how to do but nothing is working so far. He's even put in another request for peace serum, although he's skeptical it will work."

"I wish we knew exactly what was going on in his mind," I say. "Has anyone tried talking to Tori? Has she given an indication of what it was like?"

"I'm afraid she has no memory of her time under the serum," she says after she hesitates for a moment. "They gave her memory serum."

" _What_?" I'm appalled by what I'm learning. "Why didn't someone give me this information sooner?"

"Dr. Parrish has been working tirelessly to stabilize your husband's condition, Tris," she says. "He only received confirmation earlier today."

"Of course. I'm sorry, Isobel. I shouldn't take my frustration out on you," I say. I rub my face and do my best to suppress a yawn but it escapes anyway.

"You really should get some rest, Tris," she says. "You won't be of any good to anyone if you push yourself past the point of exhaustion."

"I'm not sleeping until he wakes up," I say. "He needs me."

"Alright," she sighs. "I know better than to argue with you once your mind is made up."

"Do you know if the memory serum was part of a new concoction or was it given separately? Did they give it to Four, too?" A new kind of panic sets in. What if he can't remember me when he wakes up? What if he looks at his beloved children and doesn't recognize their angelic faces? What if the past year is all I'll ever have with him because he doesn't want me anymore?

"Relax, Tris," she says, recognizing my increasing anxiety. "You're working yourself up over nothing. He wasn't given memory serum, only the advanced death serum the others were given."

"Which is bad enough," I mutter.

"Yes, it is," she says.

"Do you have any idea what kind of long-term effects, if any, this serum will have?" I ask, rubbing my head as it throbs painfully.

"We have the lab here and at Erudite testing blood and tissue samples from Sam, Harrison, Frankie, Tori, and Four to determine the answer to that very question. The truth is, we just don't know." The thought of Erudite researchers having access to Tori and Tobias' blood and tissue samples should concern me but right now all I can think about is him waking up and coming back to me.

"Thanks for the information," I say. "I need some time alone." She reaches out and squeezes my shoulder.

"I'm here for you if you need anything, Tris," she says. "All you have to do is ask, just remember that."

"Thanks, Isobel." I take a few deep breaths then wander up and down the hallway, although I maintain visual contact with that damned door. My mind races with the new information I just learned. I can't believe that Molly and Drew are both dead. I thought I would feel relief that they're gone and can no longer hurt us but instead I feel cheated. I want to know _exactly_ why they did what they did. Of course we have our theories but I wanted to hear the twisted truth from their lips. Olivia took that away from me. Suddenly the hatred I have for her surges. I pull my phone out not caring that it's too early to call and dial Zeke.

"Hey," he says when he answers his phone. He doesn't sound like he's been asleep. "Any new news on Four?" I'm irrationally pissed that he got to ask the first question.

"Not really. He stabilized after he was given some peace serum but then his heart rate and blood pressure went through the roof again. Isobel told me that Zander's having a hard time stabilizing him again. I haven't seen him in hours. I'm so scared, Zeke," I say. The ire I was just feeling mere seconds ago dies. "Did I wake you up? I'm sorry if I did."

"No, I've been in the control room all night looking for Molly, Drew, Olivia, and Lauren on security camera footage. James and Nathan are here with me," he says. "It hasn't been easy retracing their steps because of the cameras being shut off again. I swear I'm going to figure out a way to make sure cameras can't be turned off ever again, although then I wouldn't be able to erase sex tapes for friends." I laugh for the first time since I saw Drew inject the serum into Tobias' neck, which I'm sure is exactly what he was going for.

"Right now I'd give anything to be caught by you again," I say.

"Even though I know you don't mean that, I know what you're saying," he says. He's quiet for a moment and I think I hear him fighting tears. I've only heard him like this once before, when Hana was attacked. "He'll pull through this, Tris. He's the strongest guy I know. There's nothing in this world that would make him leave you and the kids. He loves to too much."

"I hope you're right," I say. "Hey, did Simon or Tony call you with news about Molly and Drew?"

"Um, no," he slowly says sounding confused. Why isn't the communication better during this critical time? I shouldn't have to give them orders.

"Molly and Drew are both dead," I say matter-of-factly. I hear him gasp on the other end of the line.

" _How_?"

"Apparently, Olivia killed them both," I speculate, "although, I don't have concrete evidence of it."

"Damn."

"Do you have any leads on her or Lauren?" I ask. "I would feel a little better if I could tell Four they are in custody when he wakes up

"Shauna phoned about 45 minutes ago. She had a tip on Lauren's whereabouts but she hasn't called back with an update," he says.

"Please tell me she has back-up with her," I say.

"An entire team," he says. "She's safe. You don't have to worry about her." Thank God! I don't think I can worry about anything else right now. "I know this is a stupid question but how are you? How are the kids? You're not alone are you?"

"No, I'm not alone. My parents are here with me. I tried to send them home but they wouldn't go, and to tell you the truth, I'm glad they stayed," I say then I sigh. "How am I doing? I don't know, Zeke. I've never felt this … _numb_ before." It's the only word I can think of to describe this emotionless feeling. "He has to wake up. I don't know what I would do without him."

"Don't talk that way," he says. "He's going to be just fine." He's right. I've got to stop thinking the worst.

"I hope you're right," I say as I hear a muffled cry. "I'm sorry, Zeke, but I've got to go. Teagan needs me." We say our goodbyes then I head to my daughter.

"I told you that your mommy would be back soon," my mom says.

"Come here, baby girl," I say as I lift her out of my mother's arms. "You shouldn't be hungry yet." I sit down in the lone vacant leather chair in the corner of the room under the bare, dimly lit bulb and tuck her into my embrace just right. I look down into the face of one of the four people in this world I know I can't live without, and a single tear slides down my cheek but I quickly wipe the moisture away. "Did you just want your mommy, my sweet girl?" She nuzzles my breast but doesn't act like she's hungry and within a few minutes she falls back to sleep. "I can't believe you're five weeks old already. It seems just like yesterday your daddy and I saw you for the first time on the ultrasound. You looked like a perfect, precious little peanut. I was so scared when my water broke on that train but your daddy helped me through every single second until I was holding you in my arms. He loves you so much. I do, too." I feel eyes on me and look up to find my mom gazing lovingly at me. I forgot I wasn't alone. "Thank you for sitting with us tonight." I look at my dad. "You don't know what this means to me."

"There's no place else we would rather be," Mom says.

"Any time you need us, we'll be here for you, Beatrice," Dad says. "We know this is hard for you."

"I just wish he would wake up," I sigh. "I don't understand what is _taking_ so long." I half expect a lecture about patience and good thoughts from my father but don't receive it. Hell, part of me wishes he would lay into me. I don't like everyone pussyfooting around me like I might break. If they have something to say, I wish they would just say it. Maybe a confrontation would make me feel alive right now because honestly, I feel hollow, numb, dead. I think that's why I want Olivia and Lauren found so badly so I can yell at them.

"Tris?" Zander asks as he walks into the room. I jump to my feet when I hear his voice.

"Can I see him?" I ask. "I _need_ to see him, Zander."

"I need to speak to you in private," he says, not quite making eye contact. The look on his face makes all the air go out of my lungs. "Why don't you give Teagan to your father?" I look behind me and am surprised to see him standing right there with Mom beside him. I didn't see either one of them get up. And why is everyone wearing the same face? My heart begins to pound painfully in my chest, and I finally drag in an agonized breath into my aching lungs. They're not telling me something or maybe that's the problem, they have something to tell me that they know I don't want to hear. I put Peanut in my father's arms and kiss her head before blindly following Zander out into the hallway. "Tris, I'm so sorry. I did everything I could do but the serum was too much for Tobias. He didn't make it." Arms wrap around my waist just in time to keep me from wilting to the dirty tile floor. I want to struggle against the embrace because they aren't the loving arms of my beloved but all fight goes out of me when I realize I'll never feel him hold me again. I suddenly feel myself being dragged backward then being sat down in a chair. A heavy, suffocating weight tightens my chest.

"I need to see him, Zander," I whisper, nearly choking on the unshed tears in my throat. I can barely hear my own voice coming out of my mouth. "I need to see my husband."

"Of course," he says. He helps me to my feet and across the hall. With one arm holding me up, he opens the door to the exam room with the other then guides me over the threshold. I stifle a sob as I look around. The monitor that was erratically sounding earlier is now silent. The love of my life is gone, ripped away from me at such a young age by a deranged bitch. The tears I was desperately trying to hold back stream down my face as pain unlike anything I've ever felt before rips through my body. I'm surprised my legs hold me up. Maybe they're not. Maybe it's Zander who's keeping me upright. I break loose from his embrace and hurry to Tobias' side and crawl into bed beside him. I curl my body around his and cry into his chest. He's still warm but I feel no heartbeat beneath my trembling fingertips. This _cannot_ be happening. I think of all the things we have planned, things we'll never get to do, and a new wave of crushing despair washes over me. I cry so hard I cry myself to sleep.

My sleep is restless though. It's plagued by disturbing nightmares. I can hear Tobias calling out to me but try as I might, I can't find him. I search and search through a dense darkness trying to make my way to him but thick sludge makes it seem like I'm moving backward. My feet finally break free from the muck, and I run toward his voice, which gets closer and closer. I think that if I open my eyes I will come face to face with him but I know that's impossible. He was taken away from me forever. New tears build behind my eyes.

"Tris, _please_ wake up, love." This time his voice sounds so real, like it's hovering right above me, and the pain I hear in it is palpable. "She's crying, Zander. _Do_ something. She must be in pain." Just as I feel my blood begin to pulse violently through my veins, I hear an erratic, quickening beeping sound surround me. I fight to open my eyes, knowing that I won't like what I find when I do but I do it anyway. My lashes flutter open, and I realize I'm still dreaming but I'll take it because my love's handsome face is staring down at me. "There you are." His voice is full of emotion, and as good as it is to see him, he looks like hell.

"Tobias?" My voice surprises me. It's rough, raw. "Such a lovely dream," I mutter. "I don't ever want to wake up." Surprise and then confusion registers on his face. "I miss you so much. Why did you leave me?"

"Love, what are you talking about?" he asks. "What do you think happened?" I reach up and caress his heavily stubbled face and am surprised by the IV port in my left hand.

"You died," I say staring at the IV. Confusion sweeps over me. "Why is that there? What the hell's going on?"

"Love, you're in the infirmary. Olivia attacked you," he slowly says, running his hand through my hair. "You've been unconscious for over 48 hours. _You're_ the one who almost died." _48 hours?_

"Wait, _what_?"


	99. Chapter 99

I have never been more confused in my entire life than I am right now in this moment. _I_ almost died? No, that can't be true. I don't feel that terribly bad. Tobias died. That I'm sure of. I lived it. I cried into his still, lifeless body. I laid my hand over his no longer beating heart. I felt the crushing weight of losing the only man I will ever love. My heart fractured into several small pieces, never to be whole again. I can still picture him lying there on that gurney, pale and still and feel the ripping pain in my broken heart. I slowly shake my head from side to side, not knowing what's real and what's not, wishing someone would turn off that annoying high-pitched beeping that's getting on my last nerve. Is this my mind playing some kind of cruel trick on me, making me think that the love of my life is here in this room with me? Am I dreaming? If I allow myself to close my eyes, will he vanish forever? I don't want to wake up and feel the suffocating pain of losing him all over. I know I wouldn't survive it.

"This isn't real," I mutter almost incomprehensibly. "I'm going to wake up and have to learn to live without you … and I don't want to." My body shudders as tears obscure my vision, and my bottom lip quivers with raw emotion.

"Love, this is very real," he says, cupping my face between his palms, wiping away the tears with his thumbs. He looks so lost right now. "You were in a simulation." _Simulation?_ I was in a simulation? I can't think that was a simulation. It was so real. "I'm right here, and I love you so much." He slowly leans down and puts his mouth on mine for a sweet, tender kiss. The moment our lips touch it's like an electrical jolt to my dead heart, bringing life back to it. When he pulls back, tears glisten in his eyes. I lift a trembling hand to caress his cheek. Do I believe him? Is he here? Is he real? Was I actually in a simulation and nothing I experienced real? That kiss seemed real. I still don't know what's real and what's not and that is terrifying for me. The irritating beep echoes around the room, somehow getting impossibly louder and faster.

"Four, you need to exit the room," Zander brusquely says. I didn't even know he was here with us. "I need to get Tris' blood pressure and heart rate stabilized. It's dangerously high. I can't do that with you here." I tense. I don't want him to go. I need to be touching him. It makes all this feel real. I see Tobias' face transform into Four's right before my eyes, and I can't stand the thought of either of them walking out that door. I just know if he leaves, I'll never see him again.

" _NO!_ " I scream at the top of my lungs, reaching out and grabbing ahold of Tobias' shirt and pulling us toward one another. "Don't go. Please don't leave me. I can't handle it if you leave me again." The grating beeping sound only get louder, making my head throb painfully and my frustration level rise to an all-time high. "Would someone _turn off_ that _goddamned_ noise?" Tobias freezes at my outburst. He sits down on the edge of the mattress and gathers me up in his strong, loving arms. I feel his lips in my hair and his large hands on my back, and I sigh into his chest, breathing him in, relishing the feel of his arms around me. I cling to him, never wanting to let go. He feels the same. He smells the same, although a shower wouldn't be a bad thing. I never thought I would be in his embrace ever again. It feels right. It feels real.

"Four, you really need to leave," Zander repeats.

"I'm not going anywhere," he gruffly says, bordering on rude but when his eyes meet mine, his expression softens. "This isn't a dream, love. This is reality. I'm alive … you're alive … I'm here … you're here. Everything is going to be fine but first you have to calm down for me." He starts taking long, slow, deep breaths and soon I realize I'm mimicking his every move. It doesn't take long before the beeping slows down. It's only then I understand the sound that had been aggravating me this entire time was my racing heartbeat echoing around the room through the EKG machine.

"Well, alright," Zander says, looking at me like I'm an oddity. "I'm impressed. If you can keep your vitals under control on your own, I won't sedate you but if this happens again, I'll have no choice." He pushes a button on the machine I didn't realize I was attached to then takes all the necessary readings and notes them in the chart in his hand. "I know you two need to talk but try to get some rest, Tris. You've been through a severe trauma and you need time to heal. If you need me for anything just push the button right there by your head. Okay?" I turn and look at what he's pointing at.

"Okay," I say.

"I'll walk you out," Tobias says as he gets up off the bed. I try not to panic but I tense up, and the EKG machine betrays my anxiety and fear. I give him a sheepish look when our eyes meet. I don't want him to leave. "Or not. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry I yelled, Zander, but I couldn't leave her."

"I understand and since the two of you were able to get her vitals under control on your own, it's no harm, no foul. Under any other circumstances though, I really need you to do as I ask, Four. I only do what I think is best in the moment. Would you like me to tell the others that she's awake?" Tobias furrows his brows in concentration as he looks at our friend.

"Not yet," he says. "I want to tell her parents and brother first then bring the kids in for a while before she's bombarded by everyone else."

"Okay," he says. "Remember, if you need anything, just press the button. By the way, welcome back, Tris. You had us all very worried but you seem to be handling the serum better than Tori did."

"Thanks, Zander," I say.

"I'll check back later," he says. "Get some rest." Tobias and I watch as he walks out the door then I turn to ask for a drink of water or something because my throat is so dry that it's bordering on painful but I don't get a chance because his mouth lands on mine, muddling my thoughts. I must admit that the kiss surprises me at first but within a fraction of a second I catch up and move my lips aggressively with his. He pulls away too soon for my liking, and we cling to one another, breathing each other's air like it could be the last time.

"I was so worried about you, Tris," he whispers. "I was beginning to think you were never going to wake up. I've been sitting with you for the past 24 hours trying to get you to hear me. I'm so thankful you finally listened. God, you're stubborn but I wouldn't trade you for the world." He lowers his lips to mine again but this time I'm the one who pulls away. The moment he sees my tears he climbs into bed beside me and carefully gathers me up in his arms.

"Are you sure I'm not dreaming?" I mutter still unsure about all this.

"What can I do to make you believe that I'm real?" he asks, agony and just a touch of frustration in his voice.

"That's the problem," I whisper, emotion thick in my voice. "I don't know what's real and what isn't. I'm scared. This is almost as confusing as when I was given memory serum."

"Why are you scared?" he tenderly asks. I'm not sure how to put the fear into words. I take a deep breath before I start.

"You died, Tobias," I whisper. "I saw you … I _touched_ you. Your heart wasn't beating." I stop and take in a ragged breath in. "The pain was … _indescribable_. I know for a fact now that I would never endure losing you. If you die … I die. If this is a dream, I have to wake up and lose you all over again. How am I supposed to survive that?"

"I'm so sorry you had to go through that," he says as we lie in each other's arms, staring into each other's eyes.

"It didn't feel like a simulation," I say. "I've always been aware when placed in any type of simulation. If that was one, why didn't I have an idea that something wasn't right?"

"I don't know. Maybe the combination of serums and drugs had a strange effect on you," he says. "Tell me what you think happened, and I'll fill you in on what really happened."

"Can you get me a drink first?" I ask, remembering I was thirsty.

"Of course," he says. I reluctantly unwrap myself from around his body, and he gets up and goes to the sink in the corner of the room. While he's filling a pitcher, I adjust the bed until I'm in a more comfortable sitting position. "Here you go." He hands me a glass filled with cool water. It's very refreshing on the way down.

"Thank you," I say. "Before I start, how are the kids?"

"It's a trying time for all of them," he says. "Tyler's beside himself. I've brought him in a couple times to see you. I didn't know if it was a good idea or not but Zander, Isobel, and your mother all agreed that it was good for him to see you. After a particularly bad nightmare, all he wanted was his mommy so I brought him in. I thought he would calm down just by seeing you but I finally had to promise that you were going to wake up. He fell back to sleep within minutes after hearing that." I stare at him with what I know must be a confused look on my face. "What is it, love?"

"I had almost the exact same conversation with him about you," I say. "He had a nightmare, and I couldn't get him to settle down for anything. I finally promised him that you would wake up. Doesn't that seem odd?"

"I know what you're thinking," he says as he refills my glass. "I swear this is real."

"You know me so well," I sheepishly say. He's right, I'm having my doubts again that this isn't a dream. "What about Tessa and Teagan?"

"Tessa's eating more and more often," he says. _Oh, my poor stress-eating baby._ "Peanut has had a very rough few days. Our daughter doesn't like a bottle but she finally takes it when she's hungry enough. When it was time for them to eat, Natalie would bring them in here for me to feed."

"Poor Peanut," I murmur. I hate that I wasn't the one who got to give her her first bottle. "When can I see them? I need to see them, Tobias. I miss them."

"I know you do but they're asleep right now," he says. "Soon."

"When the girls wake up, I'll feed them."

"We'll have to ask Zander first. He wants to make sure all the serum is out of your system before you nurse," he says.

"I hadn't thought of that but it makes perfect sense," I say. "I should probably pump then. I'm kind of uncomfortable."

"Should I get Zander or Isobel?" he asks.

"No, I want to talk first," I say. "Where do you want me to start?"

"Well, what do you remember about Sunday?" he asks as he sits down beside me. He puts his arm around me, and I cuddle into his side like I've done hundreds of times before but it's never felt quite as good as it does right now.

"We went to Abnegation to talk to Caleb, Cara, and Dad about serums," I say, remembering every detail almost like I'm reliving them. "Ethan Black interrupted us but it was worthwhile when Susan made us aware of his connection to Olivia. I'm thankful she confided in us. We went to your father's." Color floods my cheeks when I think of what we did in his childhood bedroom. "We marked off a place on our lists."

"Nothing but good memories in that house now," he says, smiling warmly before he kisses my temple. "Go on, love."

"Everything was fine until we pulled into the garage," I say. "We should have known it was a set up because so many lights were out. Olivia confronted us, well _distracted_ us actually. She pulled a knife on me then Drew injected you with the serum."

"I'm with you on the details up until this point," he says. "When we pulled into the garage that night, the hair on the back of my neck stood up. I knew there was trouble brewing, I just didn't know how bad it would end up being. I should have backed out and parked at the Pire then none of this would have happened."

"You can't blame yourself," I say. "I'm the one who didn't want you walking around the compound alone. If this is anyone's fault, it's mine."

"No, Tris," he says. "I've finally learned to place the blame directly where it belongs, with Molly, Drew, Olivia, Lauren, and Ethan Black. They are the ones who orchestrated everything. It's not my fault and it certainly isn't yours."

"You're right," I say.

"I'm always right," he jokes and I roll my eyes at him. He smiles brightly at me for a moment then his look becomes somber. "My biggest regret from that night is not thinking that Olivia was a threat. As a matter of fact, I was relieved when it was her who stepped out of the shadows. I thought it was going to be Molly. I didn't think she had it in her to hurt us. I was wrong." He picks up my right hand and gently kisses my throbbing wrist before showing me a laceration, which stretches across my palm, over my wrist, and continues several inches up my forearm. Just looking at it turns my stomach. I idly wonder how many stitches it took to close that. It has to be well over 100. "Defensive wound." He looks at it again and gently places his lips beside it. He then sits my arm back down and sighs. "She confronted us, spouting the same nonsense she has from almost the beginning. I won't repeat her bizarre fantasies. I think laughing at her set her off."

"I did that, didn't I?" I ask with a grimace, remembering my uncontrollable fit of laughter. "I was exhausted and just found the entire situation totally absurd. I tried to stop laughing – I honestly did – but I just couldn't."

"Then you noticed she had a knife in her hand. I had a bad vantage point and couldn't see it even after you told me about it until she started waved it around."

"That's what sobered me up," I say.

"I think, at that point, I still considered her presence more of a nuisance than anything," he says. My thoughts exact. "That changed though when her behavior became more and more erratic. I honestly thought about leaving with her just so you could get the kids to safety."

"I did, too," I confess.

"I couldn't do it though," he says. "I couldn't give her what she wanted. I couldn't hurt you like that. I remember the look in your eyes when I told Maria that you meant nothing to me. I couldn't stand to see that look on your face again." He puts his fingers on my chin and turns my head toward him then presses his lips to mine. Before the passion can grow out of hand, he pulls back with a groan.

"What happened next?" I breathlessly ask.

"She started waving the knife at you, spouting drivel," he says. "As we tried to talk her down, I was running tactical scenarios through my mind. I really wanted to end the standoff peacefully – that girl needs psychological help – but was thinking of ways to subdue her if necessary the entire time. That's when she lunged at you. I couldn't exactly see the attack so I didn't know the extent of your injuries but I'll admit I thought the worse. I froze for a split second, then started toward you. I remembered the gun under my seat before I took my third step so I went back, opened my door, and dove for it. It took me a second longer than it should have to get it out. When I stood back up, all the air went from my lungs. Drew had you by the neck and was just finishing injecting the Frankenstein Serum. Our eyes locked and you looked so scared then it's like the life went out of them and you collapsed. I thought they gave you something that had killed you. I didn't hesitate. I shot Drew, twice. I wish I would have killed him. I _should_ have killed him but he's in a room down the hall under 24-hour guard. No one in or out without Will's written consent."

"Why Will?"

"I shot him. I thought it looked better to put Will in charge of him. No show of impropriety."

"Good thinking," I say. "Did you shoot Drew in the chest?" I'm beginning to realize something about the simulation I was under.

"Yeah," he says.

"Once just above the heart and the other center mass?"

"How do you know that?"

"That's how I shot him," I say. "I'm beginning to believe this is my real life but with details overlapping like this it's still very confusing for me. It's like the simulation mimicked exactly what happened but made me live my greatest fear of losing you. Is it possible I was hearing everything and the details seeped into my unconscious, altering the simulation like it did when I was placed into Lauren's kidnap scenario? I somehow managed to turn her generic fear into my own and make unknown assailants morph into Peter, Drew, and Al right before my eyes. I knew it wasn't real but it's the only other time I lost myself in a simulation."

"I don't know," he says. "We have no idea how this serum works other than it kills by fears."

"I think it almost killed me," I softly say. He drags a ragged breath into his lungs.

"Why do you say that?" His face betrays the depth of his emotions for a split second then he protects himself by transforming into Four.

"After you died, I thought I cried myself to sleep in your arms," I say. "That's when I think I fought the death serum and it wasn't easy but I could hear you begging me to come back to you so I fought like hell and I made it."

"So you finally think I'm real?" he asks, his face softening.

"There's still a small part of me who is afraid this could be a dream or a part of the simulation. They really messed with my brain." I nuzzle into his side and kiss his neck. "Can you continue telling me what happened?"

"Of course," he says. "When I shot Drew, Olivia ran off. I have no doubt that Molly was there that night but she never showed her face." Hhm. There's a difference. "I rushed to your side and sent out a massive 911 text telling everyone to be on the lookout for Olivia, Molly, and Lauren and for Simon, Tony, and Zeke to meet me in the garage. You had cuts and gashes not only from Olivia's attack but from the light bulb shards Drew dropped you in. I did my best to attend your wounds then I checked on the kids. They were all a wreck."

"I remember them crying," I say, ghosts of their frantic sobs echoing in my mind. "How much does Tyler know about what happened? I was attacked and you shot someone right in front of him. He has to be traumatized."

"He never saw you until your injuries were cleaned up," he says, "and as for the shooting, it's what woke them all up. He's never mentioned it so I didn't want to bring it up."

"I'm glad he never saw anything," I say.

"Me, too," he says. "Two maintenance men arrived on the scene first, followed closely by Simon, Tony, Zeke, and Uriah. I gave the instruction for Simon and Tony to take Drew to the infirmary to have his injuries checked out and then to arrest him, I asked Zeke and Uriah to take the kids to the waiting room and stay with them until Avery and Callen came, and I asked the maintenance men to clean up the scene after any evidence was collected then I scooped you up and immediately brought you to Zander. He confirmed rather quickly that you had been given the Frankenstein Serum." He pauses then takes a deep breath. "You have a stab wound on your left hip and one in your left side. Zander said that neither did any major damage but your recovery will take a while. Like I showed you earlier, you have defensive wounds on both hands but your left hand is by far worse. The rest of your injuries are rather mild. I think you have a couple stitches on your right knee from where you fell in the glass. You also have a bump on your head from when your head hit the ground but no concussion or brain injury." He runs his hand through my hair, and I wince when his fingers glide over a sizable knot. "Sorry, love."

"Stab wounds?" I repeat. A shiver runs through me. It was bad enough when I thought my injuries were from broken glass but to know that she actually _stabbed_ me irritates the hell out of me. I should probably be scared but I'm just annoyed and angry. "Is she in custody yet?"

"I'm afraid not," he says. "Shauna had a lead on her whereabouts earlier but the last I knew she hasn't checked back in."

"What about Molly and Lauren?" I ask. "Have they been caught?"

"Not yet but I have hopes that they'll be found soon," he says. "Everyone has been tirelessly working since you were attacked. We'll find them."

"What about Ethan Black? Was he given the serum?" I can tell by the look on his face that he was. "Is he alive?"

"I'm afraid his secrets are lost to us forever," he says. "Jack Kang is pissed someone snuck into the Abnegation holding cell and murdered the man while in custody. When he checked the surveillance feeds, they'd been shut off so we have reason to believe Lauren has her laptop with her. Callen and Avery are trying to use that information to find out where she's hiding. That came through the simulation also, huh?"

"Yeah," I say. "Something else did, too. Was Tori given memory serum?"

"Not that I know of," he say.

"Oh," I say. "I guess my brain made up scenarios to fill in the gaps. Did anything else happen?"

"Nothing important," he says. "From the time Zander allowed me into this room, I haven't left. I knew you were strong enough to fight the serum but I was worried, and your vitals were all over the place. There were times I thought I was going to lose you."

"What do we do now?" I ask. "We have to find them."

"The only thing you are going to do is rest," he says. "Will you be alright in here by yourself for a little bit? I need to go across the hall and tell your mom, dad, Caleb, and Cara that you're awake. I also need to check on the kids."

"Yeah," I say, trying to be brave but anxiety starts filling my chest with a crushing weight at just the mention of his leaving. "I would like to talk to Zander or Isobel anyway. She's been here, right?"

"Yes, she has," he says. I close my eyes and relish the feeling of his lips on mine. "I love you, Tris. Very much."

"I love you, too, Tobias." I watch as he crosses the room and goes through the door. When I'm alone the beeping on the EKG machine starts bouncing around erratically. I try to do deep breathing exercises but they don't quiet my muddled brain or slow my racing heart. I hope he hurries back.

"Are you okay?" Zander asks as he rushes through the door.

"I'm trying to calm down but it's harder without him here," I say.

"I can give you a little something," he says. "It won't make you sleep but it will help with the anxiety and it's safe for breastfeeding as are the pain medications you're on." I nod, unsure I can speak. He inserts a needle into the port on the IV and injects a calming liquid. I feel its effects immediately.

"Thank you," I say as the EKG begins to normalize. "Speaking of breastfeeding, can I nurse my girls?"

"I would like to get one final blood test to double check our last findings," he says, "but I'm confident you don't have any serum left in your system." He goes to the cupboard on the wall and comes back with a syringe. I turn my head as he draws a vial of blood. I've never known myself to be squeamish around blood but now even the thought of it turns my stomach. "How are you feeling?"

"A little achy but confused mostly," I say. "Are you sure I was given the same serum as the others?"

"100% sure," he says. An unfamiliar-looking nurse comes into the room, takes the blood sample and a sheet of paper from Zander, and then leaves us alone without saying a word. "Why do you ask?"

"I wasn't aware under the simulation," I say. "It wasn't like any simulation at all. It was just like this. It was so real. Has Tori been able to give you any insight into what she went through."

"We'll never know what Tori went through, unfortunately," he says. I gasp. "What is it?"

"She was given memory serum, wasn't she?"

"Yes, she was but how do you know that? I haven't even told Four yet," he says, befuddled.

"It seems like what was going on around me seeped into my unconscious and steered the simulation," I say. "Did you discuss it in here?"

"Yes, I did," he says. "I talked about it with Isobel."

"Isobel is the one who told me about it in the simulation," I say.

"Fascinating," he murmurs and my brows shoot up. "I'm sorry. I'm sure none of this is fascinating for you."

"Not in the least," I say then yawn.

"Can I persuade you to rest now?" he asks.

"Not until Four comes back," I say. "How has he been?"

"Let's just say you didn't want to get on his bad side, which seemed to be the only side he's had," he says. "He was worried sick about you. We all were."

"I think I'm going to be fine," I say.

"I have no doubts about that," he says.

"Neither do I," Tobias says as he walks through the door, carrying Tessa in his arms. "Look who's awake, Pebbles. It's your Mommy."

"Ma ma ma ma," she says with a huge smile on her face.

"Why are you so wide awake at this time of the morning, little one?" She squeals loudly when she hears my voice.

"She missed you," he says. Zander pulls his phone out of his pocket and checks a message.

"You can nurse," he says. "We've had two blood samples free of any serum."

"Thank you, Zander," I say as Tobias very carefully lays Tessa in my arms being careful of my stitches. It isn't exactly comfortable but I'm not giving her up for anything. She giggles and grabs ahold of my face then comes at me with her mouth wide open." Zander chuckles.

"What is she doing?" I ask.

"She's giving you a kiss," he says. "She's never done that before?"

"No," I say as Tobias shakes his head.

"Each child is different but most babies start with wide open mouth kisses," he says. "They're some of the best kisses I've ever gotten. I'll check back in on you later. Remember what I said, Tris, try to get some rest."

"I'll make sure she does that," Tobias says.

"Thank you, Zander," I say then he walks out the door.

"Are you hungry, my little one?" I ask.

"She might be," he says. "Your Mom and Dad would like to see you. Do you want me to send them in?"

"Yes," I say as I stare down at Tessa. She smiles back up at me then tries to shove her fist in her mouth. "Do you have a blanket? My girl's hungry."

"I'll bring one back with me, okay?"

"Please don't be worried about your Mommy," I say to Tessa after Tobias leaves the room. "I'm fine. I missed you while I was sleeping."

"Beatrice?" My mom's quivering voice interrupts my thoughts. I look up at her and smile. She comes to my side and wraps her arms lightly around me in a tight hug. "I'm so glad you're awake."

"Me, too," I say.

"You gave us quite the scare," Dad says.

"I'm sorry about that," I say. "It's been a rather confusing couple of hours."

"We won't keep you," Mom says. "We just wanted to see you. We need to get back to Tyler and Teagan. He will be thrilled to hear that you're awake. He's been so worried about you." They both hug me again and kiss my head then head toward the door.

"I love you," I say. "Thank you for supporting Four during this hard time."

"We love him, too," Dad says. "Just as much as you and your kids."

"He loves you, too," I say. Tessa starts whining and I know that she wants fed. I don't wait for the blanket since I'm alone. I bare my breast and put her to it. She easily latches on and suckles vigorously.

"Do you have room for one more?" Tobias says as he walks into the room with Peanut in his arms.

"My baby girl," I say. "I'm sure I do." Within a minute they're both nursing peacefully and Tobias is sitting on the edge of the mattress beside me, watching them. As he gazes at them, I commit his face to memory.

"You're staring," he says.

"No, just observing," I say. He hangs his head then glances up at me shyly. For as much as we've been through he still doesn't like being stared at, which is odd considering he was just watching our daughters nursing from my bare breasts.

"You haven't shaved," I say.

"I didn't want to leave you."

"You look good." It pops out of my mouth before I can stop it then it's my turn to softly blush. "I wouldn't mind it all the time if you like it."

"I've never really thought about it," he says. "And thank you. It's nice to hear that my wife thinks I look good."

"You always look good, Tobias," I say.

"Just like you are always beautiful but not quite as beautiful as you are right now." He carefully takes Peanut and burps her while I burp Tessa then with his help I switch them. "Do you need some pain meds?" He's very observant. I'm quite uncomfortable at the moment." He drapes the light blanket over my chest then goes in search of someone. Within five minutes he comes back with Isobel in tow.

"Welcome back. I heard you need something for your pain," she says. "What is your pain level right now?"

"5, maybe 6," I say.

"Okay," she says. "This should help." She injects pain medication into the port on my IV. "It won't take effect for a little while but it will make you drowsy but you need your rest."

"I know," I say. "I'll lie down as soon as the girls are done."

"Can I get you anything before I head out for the evening?" she asks.

"No," I say.

"I'll have someone walk you to your car," Tobias says.

"Actually Carter is picking me up," she says.

"Good," he says. "I'll have someone walk you out."

"That really isn't necessary," she says.

"It is," he says. "You are our friend so that puts a target on your back. Molly moved up her plans for god only knows what reason. Since she and Drew went after Tris, our friends may not be in danger anymore but we're not taking any chances."

"Okay, Four," she says, giving into his demands.

"I'll see you soon, Tris," she says.

"Be careful," I say, worried not only for the friend in front of me but for all my friends.

"I will," she says.

"I'll be right back, love," Tobias says as he kisses my forehead then he walks out the door with Isobel right behind him. I finish nursing the girls just as he comes back into the room. I snap my gown as he burps Tessa then I carefully pick up Peanut and put her against my shoulder. She's a little easier to maneuver than Tessa because she's still quite a bit smaller. A light rapping on the door gains our attention and Callen sticks his head in the room. He looks stunned to see me.

"Tris?"

"Hi," I say. "Come in."

"I didn't know you were awake."

"We've kept it to ourselves until Tyler can be told," Tobias says. "Can we do something for you?"

"You told me to immediately contact you if I found news about Lauren's laptop," he says. "I can't make any guarantees she'll be with it but I can say with 100% certainty where the laptop is."

"Where is it?" I ask, my heart pounding with anticipation.

"Candor's headquarters," he says.

"The Merciless Mart?" Tobias and I both say at the same time.


	100. Chapter 100

Lauren's laptop not only is in Candor but it's in Candor's headquarters, The Merciless Mart? This actually doesn't surprise me. I've always figured that Molly and Drew had to have help from inside their born faction but this proves it. But the big question is who is the traitor? Will it be Molly's mother or stepfather or will it be someone from Drew's family? Maybe it's Olivia's mother or maybe it's her father lending them a hand. There is one person without a doubt I know that I don't want it to be and that is Ruth Hayes. I don't think I would be able to trust myself around anyone new ever again if she's betrayed me after opening my heart and my home to her. I consider her more than a friend. She may not be my husband's mother, and I hate her son completely, but I think of her as my mother-in-law.

"You say it's in their headquarters?" Tobias asks and Callen nods. "If I call their leader right now, can I tell him exactly where to look for it?"

"Yes," Callen says. Well that's promising. Maybe Molly, Olivia, and Lauren will be hiding with it and taken into custody within the hour. It's unlikely but a girl can dream. "It's in room 534." Tobias drags his phone out of his pocket and dials Jack Kang.

"Jack, Four here. Sorry for the wake-up call but there's been a development that I thought you would want to be made aware of right away. One of our computer technicians just discovered where Lauren Jones' laptop is. Apparently, it's in room 534 of your headquarters … Yeah, I'm 100% sure of the information. I trust him and his skills fully … No, we have no way of knowing if Lauren or Molly and Olivia for that matter are with it but if you find it unattended, maybe you could set up surveillance to see who comes back for it and arrest them then … Yes, our list of suspects include Molly's mother and stepfather, Drew's parents, Olivia's parents, and although it is highly unlikely, Peter's mother … It's obviously not our fault but Molly and Drew are excellent storytellers. They might have been able to convince their parents of our guilt and recruited any one of them … Will you let me know what you find … Thanks. Can I run something by you before I let you go … We have a prisoner here who is receiving care for a couple gunshot wounds … Yes, that's right. I shot the bastard. He tried to kill my wife. Anyway, I want him interrogated under truth serum as soon as possible. Does he have to wait for his wounds to heal or can he just be stable … Good. I'll give you Dr. Parrish's number and you can coordinate with him on Drew's progress. He has important answers locked in his mind, and the coward won't open his mouth. We really need to know what he knows, and we needed to know it yesterday." He gives Jack Zander's number then hangs up after saying his goodbyes. "He thinks that as long as Drew is stable, he'll be able to handle the truth serum. Apparently, it's been administered to Candor members on death's door, and they've tolerated it well enough. If Zander okays it, they will come here later today and do the interrogation. He understands the time sensitive nature of the situation."

"Did he give you an idea of whose office her laptop is in?" I ask. I'm getting to the point where I can barely keep my eyes open and know that I won't be long for this conversation.

"The fifth floor houses attorneys, judges, and courtrooms," Tobias says. "Jack wasn't sure which office belongs to what person. He's going to have that looked into."

"I'm sure we'll find out soon enough," I say. I fight as hard as I can but finally yawn widely.

"Will you hold her?" Tobias asks as he hands Tessa to Callen who looks uncomfortable taking my daughter then he comes over and picks Peanut up off my chest. She immediately lays her head on his shoulder and closes her eyes. I notice that both my girls are as sleepy as I am. "I'll be right back, love. I'm just going to put the girls down across the hall. Go ahead and get some rest."

"Sleep tight, girls," I say. "Mommy loves you."

"They love you, too," Tobias says as he dims the lights then makes his way out of the room. I should fall directly to sleep because I'm tired enough to sleep for a week but I fight with all my strength against the darkness, needing to see him one last time before I let the fatigue consume me.

"There you are," I mutter as he comes back into the room. His brows shoot up in surprise. He obviously wasn't expecting me to be awake.

"Why aren't you asleep?" he asks. He sits on the edge of the mattress and lightly caresses my jaw with his knuckles. "You're obviously exhausted."

"I needed to see you one last time before I close my eyes," I say. "Will you lie down with me?"

"Of course," he says. He kisses my forehead before he gets up. He slips out of his shoes and lifts his shirt off over his head and unceremoniously drops it to the floor then gets into the narrow hospital bed beside me. I relax when I cuddle up next to him, resting my head on his bare chest as he takes me in his arms. "Go to sleep, love. I'll be here when you wake up."

"You promise?" I think I hear him sigh but I'm not sure.

"I promise, Beatrice Grace," he says. "I'm not going anywhere. _This is real._ "

"I love you more than I knew," I mumble as I drift off to sleep. I don't know how long I sleep or if I dream or not. I wish I could say that I wake refreshed and ready to face the day but the truth is throbbing pain all over my body pulls me kicking and screaming from my slumber. After fighting it for a couple minutes, I drag my heavy eyelids open and find the most beautiful light blue eyes staring back at me tentatively.

"Hi, Mommy," Tyler says.

"Hi, buddy," I say as I reach out and caress his cheek.

"I missed you," he says, his bottom lip protruding poutily. "You sleep a long time. I cwied."

"Oh, baby," I say as I adjust the bed and take him in my arms. "Mommy didn't mean to make you cry." I hug him tightly and pepper his head with kisses. "You should never be sad because of me."

"I happy now 'cause you waked up," he says. "Daddy say you huwt. You be otay?"

"I'm going to be just fine," I say. "It's nothing you need to worry about." His eyes widen, and I realize he's looking at the long stitched up cut on my arm. "This is my cut." I turn my wrist and try not to wince in front of him. I hate lying but he needs reassurance right now. "It doesn't even hurt." He narrows his eyes at me, looking so much like his father. I must not be a very good actress today because it's obvious he doesn't believe me. "Okay, it hurts just a little bit." I hold my thumb and forefinger a small distance away from each other, demonstrating to him that the pain isn't as severe as he thinks it is.

"Can I kiss you ouchie?" he asks, so sincere. "You kiss mine and I get bettew."

"Of course you can," I say, hugging him tightly to me once again. "That is so sweet of you to offer."

"But be careful," Tobias says, his voice coming from behind me. Tyler very carefully puts his lips over the cut on my wrist and kisses it.

"Thank you," I say. "It feels so much better already."

"I knowed it would," he says with a little giggle. I look up over my shoulder at Tobias.

"Good morning, handsome," I say. "It's so good to see you."

"Bad dreams?" he asks, obviously concerned so I give him a smile to ease his fears.

"None that I can remember," I say. As he leans over and brushes his lips against mine, I hear Tyler snicker, and I can't help but sigh. I look back at my son who has his little hands over his eyes and chuckle. "Should I kiss you instead of Daddy?"

"No kisses," he says. I pretend to pout when he peeks out from between his fingers.

"How will I ever make it through the day without kisses from my two favorite guys? I'll be so sad." He takes his hands away and stares for a moment then lunges at me without really thinking. He wraps his arms around my neck and peppers my face with kisses like I do to him sometimes, causing me to laugh almost uncontrollably.

"No be sad," he finally says. "I give you lots of kisses."

"Thank you so much," I say.

"Now you don't need none from Daddy," he innocently says.

"You really think that, don't you?" Tobias asks.

"Yep!" he says.

"So have you been up long?" I ask Tyler then I look at Tobias and add, "What time is it?"

"I been up long time," Tyler says. "I eated toast with Uncle Wiah." _At least it wasn't cake._ "Then I comed in hewe to see Daddy and you. It been long time."

"It's almost 10 a.m.," Tobias says. "Are you hungry?" When I think about it, I realize just how hungry I am.

"I'm starving," I say. "The last thing I ate was Sunday night at Mom and Dad's."

"Let me tell the nurse that you're awake," he says. Instead of leaving the room he presses the button Zander told me to use last night if I needed him. Within a minute, Marlene comes into the room.

"You have no idea how happy I am to see your eyes open," she says as she approaches my bedside. "Dr. Parrish called for a full exam, and I thought maybe you would like to take a shower after. Would you like breakfast first?"

"I think that would be a good thing," I say. "I don't want to get dizzy in the shower. I'm pretty hungry."

"Okay," she says. "You don't have any dietary restrictions. What would you like?"

"Some scrambled eggs, toast, and fruit would be nice," I say.

"I'll put the order in then let you eat with Four and Tyler," she says. "After that, I'll need about an hour of your time."

"Jack and the other leaders of Candor are coming at 1 o'clock to interrogate Drew," Tobias says.

"I need to be there," I say.

"Okay," Marlene says. "I better get breakfast for you then. I'm glad you're okay. Can I send Christina in? She's beside herself."

"Yeah," I say. "I want to see her."

"I'll send her in then," she says as she heads out the door.

"Everyone is clamoring to see you," Tobias says as he sits down next to Tyler just as Christina bursts into the room like a tornado.

"Tris! I didn't think I would ever see you again," she says as she wraps her arms around my upper body and squeezes.

"Be careful with her," Tobias gruffly says sounding like Four as he shakes his head. "Tyler, let's give these two some privacy. You can see Mommy again later." He pouts so I kiss his head and give him a hug, which he returns full force. Tobias picks him up off the bed then kisses my temple. "I'll be across the hall with your parents and the kids if you need me for anything. I love you."

"I love you, too," I say.

"Try not to break my wife, Christina."

"I won't hurt her," she defiantly says. Once we're alone, she lets out a big sigh. "First my husband is almost taken away from me because of these psychos and then my best friend. I'm not sure my heart can handle more of this."

"I'm sorry," I say, remembering that Will just got out of the infirmary the morning I was attacked. "It really has been an eventful week."

"They told me you were injected with the same serum that killed Harrison. Was it horrible?" I tense up, thinking about the simulation.

"I really can't tell you what the serum itself was like because I don't even remember being injected," I say. The look on her face tells me that Tobias hasn't shared many details if any with my friends about my ordeal. "I only remember the simulation I was in, which made me think that Four was the one who was injected with the Frankenstein Serum." I recount every detail I can remember from the time I thought he was injected until I woke up with him hovering above me. During the middle of the story, a cafeteria worker brings in a plateful of fluffy scrambled eggs that nearly rival Tobias', a bowl of mixed fruit, two slices of crispy bacon I didn't ask for, and two pieces of wheat toast slathered with honey butter. Christina encourages me to eat while I continue telling her what happened.

"You really thought he died?" she quietly asks. "I can't imagine."

"Yeah," I say. "It was horrible. I was so confused when I woke up. I was convinced I was dreaming and that if I closed my eyes he would disappear forever." Just thinking about it makes my heart hurt. "Thankfully, I don't believe that anymore."

"I'm so glad," she says.

"How's Will?" I ask. "He hasn't gotten much recuperation time before the shit hit the fan."

"He needs some rest but he won't stop," she says, obviously worried. "He's pushing himself and I'm … _concerned_. I want Molly, Lauren, and Olivia found just as much as the next guy but not at the expense of his health. Even Four has tried to get him to slow down but it hasn't done any good. He seems like a totally different guy all of a sudden." My Dad's warnings about Will's possible personality change echo in my head but it's entirely too soon for that to happen. It must be the stress of the situation.

"We're all under a lot of stress for one reason or another," I say. "Give him time. He'll be fine. He wants them caught so everyone in Dauntless will be safe, especially you and Liam."

"I'm sure you're right," she says. "But this situation with Molly and Drew is getting more and more out of hand."

"I'm really sorry, Christina," I say. "None of this would be happening if it weren't for me."

"Do you think I blame you for any of this?" she asks, sounding appalled. "Never! I blame one person and one person alone and that is Molly Atwood. I'd blame Drew also but he's never had an original thought in that pea-sized brain of his. He's her lapdog. If she told him to inject himself with the serum, he would do it in a heartbeat, no questions asked and probably thank her." She shakes her head in disgust.

"I blame her, too," I say with a sigh, "but I think I'll always feel a sense of responsibility for the people who died. I still don't know what I did to make them, especially Peter, single me out in the first place. They were awful to me, and I never did a damn thing to them."

"You're right. You never did anything to them. What you did was show bravery that first day on the roof, courage the Dauntless-born didn't even have. You jumped first. You impressed so many people but you also shone a light on yourself that Peter just couldn't ignore. That's all you did."

"I've been over that day so many times in my head," I say. "Just think, if I would have gone second, all this could have been avoided. Someone else could have been their target."

"Tris, you can't change who you are and you shouldn't try," she says. "I honestly believe that's what made him first notice you but if it wasn't that it would have been something else. Whether you know it or not, you have the tendency to stand out."

"Listen to your friend," Tobias says. "She's telling you the truth." Christina and I look toward the sound of his voice and I can't help but blush at their compliment. They think I'm stronger, braver than I am.

"How long have you been there?" I ask.

"Didn't anyone tell you it's not nice to eavesdrop?" Christina asks and I honestly can't tell if she's kidding or not. Tobias' face starts to transform, and she begins to laugh. "Keep your pants on Four. You need to learn to take a joke." He closes his eyes and inhales deeply.

"It's really not a good time for a joke," I say.

"Yeah, it is," she says. "I swear that if I can't laugh, I'm going to breakdown and cry, and I really don't want to do that."

"I understand," I say.

"What do you say that when this is all said and done, you and I have a spa day just the two of us? It's been a long time since we had girl time. Then we can get babysitters for the kids that night and have a double date with our husbands. We deserve a day off after everything we've been through."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea," I say.

"I better get home," she says. "I need to spend some time with my baby boy. It's been too long since we've just sat around and snuggled." She wraps her arms around me and hugs me tightly. "I'll talk to you soon. You have no idea how happy I am that you're going to be okay. My life would suck without you."

"I love you, too, Christina," I say with a chuckle. She's so Candor unless she's expressing her deepest feelings then she's insecure. A knock on the door draws our attention and Marlene walks in.

"Are you ready for me?" she asks.

"Yeah, but can you give me a minute with Four?" I ask. "Have a good time with Liam, Christina. I'll see you soon." She gives me another hug then accompanies Marlene outside, leaving me alone with my husband. He sits on the bed next to me and takes my hand in his.

"What can I do for you, love?" he asks.

"I haven't had two minutes alone with you since I woke up," I say. "I've missed you." I cup the back of his head with my better hand and pull his mouth to mine. Our lips and tongues synchronize, and I melt into his kiss.

"Good morning," he breathlessly says when we break apart. "I've been wanting to do that since I saw your beautiful eyes flutter open this morning but Tyler got to you first."

"Thank you for bringing him in," I say. "I feel slightly better since I've seen them all. I'll be even better when I can get home. I never know how incomplete I feel until I haven't seen the kids for a while. I'm such a _mom_."

"You are the best mother in the world," he says. "My kids are lucky to have you."

"That's exactly how I feel about you."

"You think I'm a good mother?" His smile is infectious and I laugh, which makes me wince.

"You know what I mean," I say, my hand moving to the throbbing ache in my hip.

"Do you need more pain meds?"

"I can't tell you when I last had a dose," I say. "I'll talk to Marlene about it when she does my examination. Will you do me a favor while I'm occupied with her?"

"Of course."

"Get yourself cleaned up," I say as I run my fingers over his three-day beard. "I'm sure there's a shower here somewhere that you can use. It's too bad we couldn't take one together," I softly kiss his lips, "but I have a feeling that's going to be off the table for a while."

"Unfortunately," he says, voicing what I'm thinking.

"The wait will make it better," I say. I really don't know who I'm trying to convince though, him or me.

"I'm not sure you believe that," he says. "You seem sad."

"I am," I say then my attitude shifts. "A little pissed, too. I'm tired of other peoples' agendas interrupting our love life. It sucks."

"You're cute when you get pissed off," he says as he threads his fingers into my hair then he flirtatiously rubs the tips of our noses lightly together. "I love you, Mrs. Eaton."

"I love you, Mr. Eaton," I say. "I didn't know how much though until this happened. You bring out the best in me and I'd be lost without you."

"Am I interrupting something?" Marlene asks just as our lips touch, causing us to groan into each other's mouths.

"No, you're not," I say as Tobias lets me go and gets up off the bed.

"I'm going to check on the kids then take care of this," he says, rubbing his stubbled chin.

"I like that," I say. Out of the corner of my eye I see Marlene roll her eyes.

"Out, Four, or Tris will never be ready for Drew's interrogation."

"Fine," he says.

"See you later, baby," I whisper after a final kiss. "You better go." He kisses my forehead and as he's getting ready to go, his phone rings. Before answering, he looks at the caller ID.

"I've got to take this," he says. "I'll be back soon, Tris. Love you." I watch as he ducks out into the hallway to answer his call.

"So how are you feeling this morning?" she asks.

"I hurt, Marlene … all over," I say. "Where I hit my head is tender and sore, my hip has a dull aching throb in it, my hand feels like it's on fire and it's throbbing, too, and I generally feel tired and weak. I didn't feel this bad when I got shot earlier this year."

"I'll get you something for the pain," she says. She goes to the cupboard on the wall and retrieves a syringe full of something. "You should have said something earlier."

"I guess I was trying to be tough."

"Stupid Dauntless and their pride," she scoffs, shaking her head in disgust. "I'm sorry but it's so maddening. If you are in pain, tell us. There's no need for you to suffer needlessly. Think of it this way, if Tyler got hurt would you withhold treatment or pain medicine to toughen him up and show everyone else how brave and tough he is?"

"No!" I say, my voice three full octaves higher. "I would never make any of my children suffer like that."

"Then why do you do it to yourself?" I never thought of it that way. Dauntless as a whole has a bad habit of trying to not show any weakness. I guess we need to do a better job of educating people against this.

"You're right," I say.

"I just have a hard time seeing any of my patients, or my friends for that matter, in pain."

"I understand how you feel," I say. "I don't like seeing others in pain either. I don't know why I make myself suffer."

We chat about my simulation while she does a thorough physical examination including poking and prodding, taking blood and urine samples, and taking my vitals in every position imaginable. She shows me each one of my wounds, which number in the double digits. It's no wonder my body hurts. After she relieves me of my catheter, she helps me to the bathroom in the corner of the room. Each step I take on my left leg elicits increasing pain. The injury on my hip may not be life threatening and it might not have done any permanent damage but it hurts like hell. I swear if I get my hands on Olivia, I'll kill her. I should have killed her for kissing Tobias and then maybe I wouldn't be standing under this weak spray of lukewarm water, breathing through the discomfort, trying to wash off over three days' worth of dirt, grime, and dried blood. I'm surprised anyone could stand being within two feet of me.

"I'm done," I grunt. Marlene helps me dry off then change into a pair of black cotton pajama pants and a matching black and pink nursing cami and robe.

"I need to get a couple pairs of these for at home," I say once they are on. "They're really comfortable and I like how the cups unclip to nurse the girls. That's really handy."

"We just started giving those to nursing mothers," she says as we step out into the room. I stop in my tracks when I see Tobias. His hair is wet, too, and he's changed into a clean outfit someone obviously brought him but I see that he didn't shave. He did trim up the stray whiskers though. He meets me halfway to the bed with a wheelchair.

"Your chariot awaits, love," he says, wearing a sexy smile. He and Marlene both help me into the wheelchair then he kneels in front of me and holds out a bright pink pair of slippers that match my PJs. "Let me help you." He holds each foot in his large hand and slides the slippers into place then rests my feet on the footrests. "Did you have a nice shower?"

"It wasn't ours," I say, "but I feel better now. How about you?"

"All I can really say is I'm clean," he says. "I think it's time for the infirmary to get a bit of a facelift."

"It could use it," Marlene says as she gathers my blood and urine samples to take to the lab. "It's been decades since anything but repairs were done to this place."

"That settles it. We'll put an infirmary remodel on the calendar," I say as I look at the clock, which reads nearly 1 p.m. "We better go, Four. We need to hear what Drew has to say."


	101. Chapter 101

Tobias and I are quiet, leaving each other to our thoughts, as he pushes my wheelchair down the hall toward Drew's room. I don't know what's on his mind but mine is occupied with thoughts of Molly and her minions. I am nervous yet excited to hear Drew's answers under truth serum. I will never understand anyone who blindly follows another and doesn't think for themselves but, hopefully, this will give us some insight into who he is and why he's done the awful things he's done. When we round a corner not too long into our journey, it's easy to tell which room is his. About halfway down the hallway on the right stands two very large, armed Dauntless guards flanking a set of double doors and scattered throughout the rest of the corridor is Jack Kang and several other Candor leaders. When he sees us, he separates himself from the crowd and approaches.

"Hello, Four, Tris," he says as he offers his hand to Tobias who shakes it firmly. "I wish we were meeting under better circumstances."

"You and me both," Tobias says. "Do you have an update on the laptop situation?" Anger momentarily flashes across Jack's face but it soon fades away. If I wouldn't have been directly looking at him in that very moment, I would have missed it.

"Do you mind if we talk about that after the interrogation is over?" he asks. He looks over his shoulder at his fellow leaders who aren't paying us any attention then back at us. "As of right now, the three of us are the only ones who know about that, and I'd like to keep it that way for the time being."

"I take it you have a suspect then," Tobias says, his tone suspicious as my eyes land on Kent Nelson. Did he help his daughter? It's the only scenario that makes any sense to me. I study his features trying to see _the bitch_ but it's hopeless. They look absolutely nothing alike, apart from their red hair. Her mother must have model good looks because she definitely got none from him.

"I do," he says. "I'm hoping his identity will be revealed during the boy's interrogation."

"In that case, we'll keep the information to ourselves and not mention it until you do," I say. "But I for one am looking forward to our conversation later."

"How are you feeling, Tris?" Jack asks as he turns his attention to me. "You look pale."

"I don't think I would be out of bed under any other circumstances but I need to hear what Drew has to say. He nearly killed me Sunday night, and I deserve to know why."

"Of course you do," he says. I tuck my bangs behind my ear with my left hand, and he grimaces as he takes in the wound on my wrist and arm. "He really did a number on you, didn't he?"

"Yeah, he did but he didn't do this. The redheaded bitch did," I snarl. "He injected me with the Frankenstein Serum, which made me live through my worse fear. The physical pain of being stabbed was nothing compared to the emotional torture of have to live through the death of Four." Jack's face contorts with confusion because obviously Tobias is standing right here with us. "My worse fear is the death of my husband." I clear my throat when emotions well up. I didn't realize I was reliving those agonizing moments as I spoke but I was. Tobias puts his hands on my shoulders and squeezes. I reach up and take ahold of his right hand and say, "I want him punished to the fullest extent of the law for what he's done."

"If he answers our questions the way I think he will, his crimes will warrant the death penalty," Tobias says.

"I agree," Jack says. "Anyone who murders a leader of this city will receive swift justice."

"We're all in agreement then," I say.

"We better get this show on the road then," he says. He turns and Tobias and I follow closely behind him.

"Make sure neither of you leave your posts during the proceedings," Tobias says, addressing the guards who are the only ones left in the hallway. "Everyone who is attending should already be present so no one else is allowed inside."

"Yes, Four," they say in unison. Jack is standing in the threshold, holding the door open so Tobias can push me into the room. When my eyes meet Drew's he pales drastically. For a split second I think his wounds are bothering him but then I realize I've seen that look before. It's the exact same look Cameron wore when he walked into the interrogation room after he gave me death serum on New Year's Eve and saw me. Drew thought he killed me just like Cameron thought he had but I'm tougher than they give me credit for.

Tobias parks me along the wall by a double row of folding black chairs brought in especially for the interrogation then sits down beside me. Under normal circumstances I think this room would be a very large one, which is probably why we're using it but with all these people in here, it feels claustrophobic. Besides Jack, Tobias, and me, there is Niles, four other leaders of Candor … or at least I assume they are leaders – they have an air of authority about them – Will, Caleb, Dad, and two more armed Dauntless guards standing on either side of Drew's bed. I guess Will and Tobias are taking no chances on him trying to escape. Dad and Caleb have their backs to me, talking to Will but the moment he sees me he points me out to them. When they turn I'm met with tired, worried eyes.

"Hi," Caleb says as he leans over and lightly hugs me. "You had us all very worried. I'm glad you're going to be okay."

"Thanks," I say then I look up into my father's face. "Hi, Dad. I didn't expect to see either of you here."

"Our presence was requested as representatives not only of Erudite and Abnegation but of the council," Dad says. "If he did what he's accused of, an execution time needs to be set immediately. You don't murder a leader of a faction and get away with it."

"Who decides his punishment?" I ask. I've never thought about this before. "I guess I thought Candor handed down the sentencing."

"They always have input from the other four factions," he says, "but the decision is usually predetermined."

"So what you're saying is the punishment is already chosen before it's determined if a crime has been committed or not?" I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that.

"That's exactly right," Dad says. "That's how the city has managed to always hand down swift justice."

"You mentioned all five factions but Amity isn't here," I say.

"Actually Summer Miller is here," Caleb says. I haven't seen her since the last council meeting I attended, which seems like forever ago. "She's sitting in that corner over there." I crane my neck to where he's pointing and see a flash of red and yellow between the sea of black and white worn by the Candor leaders.

"I think I see her now," I say. Jack clears his throat, and the room goes quiet except for the sound of Drew's slightly raised heartbeat through the EKG monitor.

"I'm sure we all know one another so I will skip the formalities," he says. "We're here today for the interrogation of Drew Boyd, factionless. Niles, you may proceed." Everyone who was milling around seconds ago takes a seat including Jack as Niles prepares Drew for the interrogation. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Tobias pull out a small notebook and pen, and I furrow my brows at him.

"In case I have any questions I want asked," he whispers after he presses his mouth up against my ear. I nod in understanding. I'm sure we'll have plenty of questions. I then look back at Drew, wondering what information he's going to confirm and what secrets he's going to reveal. We've been waiting months for this day, and I realize I'm waiting for his answers on pins and needles.

Niles tries to hand Drew an alcohol swab but he can barely lift his arm so he cleans off the left side of Drew's neck himself. He then takes a syringe out of the rectangular black box sitting on the hospital table next to the bed. I tense as a memory of a shiny metal injector with a red serum attached to it flashes through my mind causing my heart to race. I reach out and Tobias, sensing my anxiety, takes my hand and laces our fingers together. I take several deep, cleansing breaths to try and calm the anxiety while Niles injects the serum into Drew's neck. Once the syringe is out of sight, my heart rate begins to slow. _What the hell was that all about?_ I watch Drew's face as his eyes gloss over, and I know the interrogation is ready to begin.

"Will you please state your name for the record," Niles says.

"Drew." We all wait for him to finish but he doesn't say another word. I can't help but roll my eyes at his stupidity.

"Your _full_ name," he says with an exasperated sigh.

"Oh," Drew says like he doesn't have a worry in the world. "Andrew Mitchell Boyd."

"How old are you, Drew?"

"I just had my 18th birthday last month," he says.

"What are your parents' names?" Niles asks.

"Dustin and Sally Boyd." I expect a touch of melancholy in his voice when he speaks of his parents like most people under truth serum but all I hear is indifference.

"Do you have any siblings?" he asks.

"Yes," Drew says. Again he doesn't answer the question fully, and he doesn't look like he's in pain. As a matter of fact, his heart rate has decreased, which I find strange.

"What's her name?"

"Jenny, uh, Jennifer Lynn Boyd," he says. _Wait a minute._ How did Niles know his sibling was a sister and not a brother? Do they know each other?

"What faction were you born into?" Niles asks.

"Candor."

"What faction did you choose?" he asks.

"Dauntless, although I'm factionless now," Drew says.

"And why are you factionless?"

"Dauntless changed its rules last year and not everyone was allowed to stay," he says. That's a surprisingly accurate accounting and nothing at all like I thought he would say. Something's not right here. I look at Tobias, and his Four mask is firmly in place but I see tension in his jawline and mistrust in his eyes. He knows something is off also.

"I'm going to switch gears now," Niles says. I find myself leaning forward in my wheelchair, anticipating what information he's going to give us. "What is your relationship with Molly Atwood?" He pauses but doesn't seem to be experiencing any pain.

"She's my cousin."

"And the late Peter Hayes?" he asks.

"He was my cousin, too," Drew says.

"What about Olivia Nelson and Lauren Jones?"

"I don't recognize those names," he says. _What the hell does he mean he doesn't recognize those names?_

"Where were you in the morning hours of July 19 of this year?" Niles asks.

"I don't know." I've been studying Drew's face since he was injected and I knew something was different from other interrogations but I couldn't place it … until now. I don't see the telltale sign of truth serum … confusion. _How is that possible?_ I've known the bewilderment of truth serum firsthand. It isn't something you can escape whether you're Divergent or not, and I know for a fact that he's _not_ Divergent.

"Please think about the question," he says. "There was a death in Dauntless." Niles looks at a sheet of paper I didn't notice he has in his hand. "Samantha Jean Lawrence." Drew narrows his eyes slightly and slowly shakes his head.

"I'm sorry but I don't know that name," Drew says. Alarm bells go off in my head. Ruth told me that Lauren babysat Peter, Molly, and Drew. He has to know that name. She also told me that Molly was friends with Olivia and someone named Sami. I may not be acquainted with all my friends' friends but I know their names. He has to be lying right now … but how? My eyes scan the room and land on Kent Nelson, his suspected coconspirator, and he has a look of concern on his face then my eyes slide to Jack and his is contorted with anger.

"This needs stopped," I say and everyone in the room looks my way. "He's lying. I don't know how but I know for a fact that he's lying."

"I will have order, Tris Prior," Niles sternly spits.

"Tris," Jack says but I interrupt him.

"Jack, please hear me out," I say. "It's almost as if Drew wasn't given truth serum at all. Most everyone in this room has been subjected to a truth serum interrogation at one point or another so we all know how confusing it feels. Drew doesn't look or act confused. His heart rate went down when he was injected. That should be impossible. He's acting like he normally does." Jack very slowly gets to his feet, and I expect him to be angry with me for my outburst but his irate stare isn't on me.

"I had my suspicions that this is how this interrogation would go, although I thought Drew would do a better job of convincing us he was in fact under the effects of the serum," he says. He thought this was going to happen? Maybe I intervened too soon. I've only seen Jack Kang this angry once before and that's when he found out that his good friend and trusted colleague Miles Randolph was helping Asher and Dru target suspected Divergents. "There is something that everyone needs to know. Last night it was brought to my attention that Dauntless fugitive Lauren Jones was hiding in _our_ headquarters." It's obvious to me that the other Candor members knew nothing of this finding because they all look astonished. "Four called and told me that her laptop was in room 534. A thorough sweep of the room was performed but no evidence of a foreign laptop or an intrusion was detected. At first I thought she had just gotten away so I was preparing to arrest the office's occupant but upon learning her identity, I thought it might be part of an elaborate setup. I immediately called the Dauntless technician who detected the laptop's position in the first place. I asked if he could still detect it in office 534, and he told me he could. After a little back and forth he realized that the signal was piggybacking the office computer. Once he figured that out, he led us to the laptop and to Lauren Jones. She was immediately taken into custody and is being held in Dauntless' holding cell at Candor." _Lauren's in custody?_ Hallelujah! "Would you like to explain why I found a fugitive hiding in your office, Niles?"

"I don't have any idea what you are talking about," he says with typical indignation.

"I suppose you don't know that the serum you just gave Drew … the serum that was prepared by _you_ … is actually a 50/50 mix of peace serum and truth serum, which essentially renders the truth serum useless." Niles look changes from innocent and unassuming to smug and superior. Why would he be helping Molly and her minions? I've always had an idea that he didn't like Tobias and me but what would his motive be? Is it possible he was in Peter's orbit, too? "Four, do you have a holding cell we can put Niles in?"

"Yes, we do," he says as he gets to his feet. "Todd, Joe, please escort the prisoner to our holding cell then guard the door. I'll let Simon and Tony know of your reassignment. Don't let him out of your sight."

"Yes, Four," they say. They each grab Niles by the upper arm and escort him out the door. He doesn't say a word to defend himself.

"Can he be given more truth serum or is that too dangerous since he got a partial dose?" I ask not caring if it hurts him, only wanting to make sure we get the information that we need. That is what's important.

"I anticipated this would happen when I learned he was a traitor so I happen to have another syringe with truth serum right here," Jack says. He reaches inside his jacket pocket and pulls out a syringe. Once again I go lightheaded at the sight. For a split second I think the thunderous heart rate echoing around the room is mine but I quickly realize that it's Drew's. He obviously was in on the rouse because he wasn't nervous until now.

"Jack, whose office is 534?" I ask.

"Stephanie Misner." Will gasps and my mouth falls open. "She's your best friend's mother and the mother-in-law of a Dauntless leader, correct?" I nod, still unable to speak. "I also know that she has helped you with some legal matters in the past so I ascertained she had no motive to hurt you. That's why I looked for an alternative explanation. I personally talked to her this morning, and she insisted on a truth serum interrogation, which I performed. She has zero knowledge of why you and Dauntless are being targeted." I exhale loudly. They tried to hurt my best friend by hurting her mother. They've sunk to a new low.

"Thank you for your thorough investigation into this matter," I say.

"Yes, thank you," Will says. "From myself and my wife. Tris, we've got to find Molly and Olivia before anyone else gets hurt."

"Do you know where your daughter is?" Tobias asks, addressing Kent Nelson.

"I don't," he says. "I'm not sure I would help you if I did. You're a parent. Would you turn your child over to an angry mob?"

"Mob?" Tobias says, voiced raised but I rest my hand on his Amity tattoo. If he wasn't so angry in this moment he would see where this man is coming from. He's a grieving father.

"I wouldn't want to see anything bad happen to my child, which is why I would do anything within my power to make sure he or she got the help they needed," I say. "Sir, your daughter is sick. She needs to be in a hospital. I know it's not something you want to hear but she is the one who put me in this chair, and she's the one who did this," I hold up my left arm so he can plainly see it, "and worse. She's fixated on my husband and thinks that if I'm out of the way he'll turn to her in his grief, which would never happen. So if you have a clue as to where we can find her, please tell us. We'll do everything in our power to make sure she gets help instead of a dose of death serum."

"I'll think about it but I can't make any promises," he says.

"That's all I ask," I say. "I'm starting to not feel very well. Can we finally get the _real_ interrogation underway?"

"Of course," Jack says. "Four, would you please assist me? You know better what is happening than I do." He turns to his fellow leaders. "Does anyone object to this?" I watch as they one by one okay the plan. Tobias kisses my temple then joins Jack as he readies Drew for the truth serum. After wiping off the left side of his neck, he jabs the needle into the vein and pushes the plunger. Almost immediately his eyes glass over and he slumps down in his bed. After a minute, his heart monitor picks up speed. "I think we can begin. Please state your _full_ name for the record."

"Andrew Mitchell Boyd." There is zero hesitation in his answer and confusion settles on his face. We already know he's a terrible actor so it's obvious the serum is working this time.

"How old are you?" he asks.

"I just had my 18th birthday last month," Drew says.

"What are your parents' names?"

"Dustin and Sally Boyd," he says. _Hhm_. He still doesn't sound like he misses them.

"Do you have any siblings?" Jack asks.

"Yes, I have one sister, Jennifer Lyn Boyd but everyone calls her Jenny."

"What faction were you born into?" he asks.

"Candor," Drew proudly says.

"What faction did you choose?" he asks.

"Dauntless," Drew says.

"Did you want to join Dauntless," Tobias asks, taking over the questioning.

"No," he says flinching after a short pause.

"So why did you join a faction you didn't want to join?" he asks. Drew pauses so long that he cries out in pain before the flood gates open.

"Peter always wanted to join Dauntless," Drew breathlessly says. "He insisted that we join along with Molly, our cousin."

"Did you ever think about doing what you wanted to do? You chose after Peter. He couldn't have done anything to you."

"I thought you knew him better than that, _Four_ ," he scoffs. "His reach is from beyond the grave, don't you see that? If I would have joined Candor like I wanted, like I should have … he would have killed me." Maybe Peter Hayes was more dangerous than we thought.

"Why do you think you're factionless now?" Tobias asks.

"I wasn't good enough for Dauntless with their old rules," he says but it looks like it pains him to do so.

"Is that the only reason why you think you're now factionless?"

"If you're asking me if I think you and Tris cheated during my initiation the answer is I don't know," Drew says, surprising me. "Molly does, that's for sure."

"Besides being Molly's cousin, what is your relationship?"

"She's my best friend," he says.

"So, am I right when I say you're close?" Tobias asks.

"Yes."

"How close?" he asks. I see him visibly flinch as he fights the serum.

"I'd do anything she asked," Drew spits.

"So if she asked you to kill someone, you would?"

"Yes," he says, hanging his head defeated.

"Tell me, Drew, who have you killed?" Tobias asks.

"The first person I killed was Sam."

"Did Molly order her murder?" he asks.

"Not exactly," Drew says. "She saw Molly and Lauren talking near the Pit and was going to turn Molly in for being in Dauntless. I had no choice but to silence her." _Poor Sam._ It sounds like she wanted to do the right thing and paid for it with her life.

"When you say Lauren who do you mean?" he asks, steering the conversation to yet another pivotal player.

"Lauren Jones," he says.

"How do you know her?" Tobias asks.

"She babysat Peter, Molly, and me when we were little in Candor."

"Who was your next victim?" he asks. Once again he tries to fight the serum. "If you answer quickly, you won't feel the effects of the serum."

"I think his name was Harrison," Drew says. My God! He didn't even know who he was injecting that awful serum into.

"That's right. Harrison Cosgrove, a leader of Dauntless." Unbelievably, Drew pales even more upon hearing that news. He must not have any blood left in his face. "Why did you kill him?"

"Molly told me to," he flatly says.

"Did she give you a reason as to why she wanted him dead?" Tobias asks.

"No. She just told me where to go and who to look for." Someone in the room gasps at that statement. How does he know he killed the right person?

"How do you know you got the person Molly wanted?" he asks, basically reading my mind.

"She said I did a good job," Drew says. He shrugs his shoulders then grimaces with pain. He must have forgot about the two bullet wounds in his chest.

"Who were you next ordered to kill?"

"Tori Wu but I got her boyfriend instead," he says. "Molly and Lauren were upset with me so I knocked her out and took her with me."

"Why did you do that?" Tobias asks.

"I only had one syringe with me but Molly wanted her dead so I thought it was best to take her to the serum. I didn't want Molly mad at me." I can't believe what I'm hearing. Was he so desperate for friends that he would do anything Peter commanded and then Molly? If he wasn't a killer and so pathetic, I might actually feel sorry for him. Tobias is standing across the room rubbing his temple. He's finding his answers just as absurd as I am.

"Why did you hold onto Tori?" he asks.

"Molly asked her about the investigation but she didn't know much," Drew says. "When she was absolutely certain she got all the information she could get out of her, she had me inject her and take her to the Navy Pier for Will to find."

"Why did you attack Will if he was part of the plan to find her?"

"I didn't," he says. "We don't know who did that." I look over at Will, and he looks pissed. I'm sure he thought he would find out the name of his assailant today. I guess I always figured it was Drew.

"Are you the one who told him to go to the Pier?" Tobias asks.

"Yes."

"I'm going to back up for a minute," he says. "What is Molly's plan?"

"Tris' total destruction?" Drew says.

"Why?" Drew pauses but doesn't really look like he's in pain.

"Tris embarrassed her," he says. I expect a barrage of comments but he stops.

"What do you mean Tris embarrassed her?" Tobias asks. Our eyes meet and I see fury and pain in them. I fully understand the fury but am at a loss for the pain.

"Tris knocked her unconscious during the practice fights. If you hadn't pulled her off she might have even killed her." I feel eyes boring into me but I keep mine on Drew who is looking straight ahead. "She didn't like being made a laughing stock of by a _Stiff_." So it's okay for her to show my ass to a dorm room full of people but not for me to beat hers in front of our classmates. She doesn't make a bit of sense.

"So you're telling me that she concocted an elaborate payback of my wife because she beat her during one lousy fight over a year ago?" he asks.

"Oh, no," Drew says. "She didn't come up with the plan."


	102. Chapter 102

I could have sworn that I just heard Drew confirm under truth serum that someone _other_ than Molly came up with the plan that is wreaking havoc on our lives right now. But whose plan could it be? Drew? No, he's too stupid. Olivia? Seems doubtful that she would target anyone other than me. Ethan? I know he wanted Tyler and Tessa back but killing my friends seems like an unreasonable way to achieve that. _Ruth_? _Please, please,_ please _don't let it be her._ Marcus? He seems like the most likely candidate, although how would he even know who Molly and Drew were to set up a scheme like this. I find myself holding my breath waiting for who the culprit is.

"Let me get this straight, Drew," Tobias sternly says, "you're telling us that Molly isn't the mastermind behind the plan that's left three Dauntless members dead, including a leader and two others injured."

"She's not smart enough," he blurts then his eyes widen and his cheeks flood with color. I think that was a truth he didn't realize he held.

"If it wasn't Molly then who was it?" I can tell Drew doesn't want to answer. He fights hard against the serum, his face twisting in pain but then he hangs his head and groans.

"It was Porter." Porter? _That son of a bitch_. Why? How? I never thought that this would cross my mind but I think Porter Hayes is worse than his son and that is saying a lot.

"You're telling me that Peter Hayes' _father_ is the one who came up with the plan?" he asks.

"Yes," Drew says, looking crestfallen. I think the serum has finally gotten the best of him.

"How is that possible? He's been in lockdown for months now."

"Niles let us in to see him a few times, and he passed messages back and forth for us," he says and Jack mutters an expletive under his breath. I know how he feels. It's hard to learn that someone you trust completely stabbed you in the back.

"I need you to start from the very beginning and tell me every detail you know of how Porter's plan came to life," Tobias says. I knew after learning he helped his son kidnap me that he was evil personified. What kind of person would do that? And now all this. He must really hate me.

"One week after Porter was sentenced to jail, Molly and I received a message from him. It instructed us to dress in Candor black and white and go to the faction long-term holding cells just after sundown for an important meeting. We contemplated not going. We thought it might be a joke or an elaborate rouse to get us into trouble but her curiosity won out so we decided to hedge our bets and we went. When we got to the holding cell area, we were surprised that Niles was the one who greeted us." I see Tobias pull the notebook out of his pocket and jot something down while Drew rattles on. "He took us to Porter's cell and waited with us, making it look like it was a legitimate visit. Porter wasted no time in explaining what it was he wanted, Tris Prior's total destruction. He explained that Tris was the one responsible for Peter's death, which Molly and I already suspected." I shake my head at their stupidity. "He made it perfectly clear he wanted her dead, too, but first he wanted her to suffer unimaginable pain. That's when he laid out his plan.

"The first phase was to contact a woman at Erudite who gave us a formula for a new serum. She also gave Molly the codes to the door closest to the serum vault so we could sneak in and steal the necessary samples from storage but I don't remember her name. She doesn't like _Stiffs_ and was eager to help when she heard the serum would be used against one of the traitors who stopped the war on Abnegation." Typical Jeanine lackey. They just keep popping up. It's too bad we can't eradicate them all. "The second phase was for us to infiltrate Dauntless and get around undetected, which we easily accomplished for _weeks_. No one looked at us twice … until Sam saw us talking with Lauren that morning. The third phase was to enlist people to help us. Dauntless members were preferred because of their close proximity to you and Tris but anyone who was willing to help was okay. Lauren took some convincing but Olivia jumped at the chance to ruin Tris the minute we asked her. She hates her nearly as much as Molly does, maybe even more so. The final phase was targeting those closest to Tris. We were to start with her colleagues and friends then move on to her extended family and finally you and the kids. He wanted her to have to live with the guilt of knowing all those people lost their lives because of her before she was our final victim." My eyes shift to Tobias, and he's already staring at me. I wish I was standing next to him, our hands linked. I think my father senses my need or gets some sort of unseen sign from my husband because he slides over next to me and offers his hand, which I grip tightly between mine, ignoring the ache in my palm.

"You obviously didn't complete phase four to Porter's specifications," Tobias says. "Why was the timetable for the plan moved up?"

"That stupid Ian Beck or whatever his name is from Abnegation went and got himself arrested Sunday afternoon. I've never seen Molly more pissed off than I did that day. Olivia shared the entire plan with him, and Molly was afraid that he would spill the beans so she arranged with Niles a little one-on-one time with him in the Abnegation holding room and gave him the serum."

"Was Tris your intended target Sunday night?" he asks, his voice rough, ragged yet quiet. I see Drew flinch then swallow past his fear before he answers.

"You all were," Drew says. "But she was the ultimate target. She was to get the death serum, which I gave her. She should be dead." He turns his head toward me, probably unable to make me out in his altered condition and says, "You should be dead. I don't know how you are alive, especially after the crazy red head stabbed you. Of course, I'm not sure how I'm alive after Four shot me." I see Tobias roll his hands up into tight fists, his knuckles turning white from the exertion then close his eyes. It's hard hearing what their plans were for that night, especially the children. I think if we were alone in this room, I would gladly kill him.

"Four, would you like me to continue?" Jack eventually asks, finally breaking the long, drawn out silence.

"No," he says. "I just needed a moment." Yeah, a moment to collect himself so he didn't choke the life out of that scum lying in the hospital bed in front of him. "My apologies."

"Take your time," Kent Nelson says. I could be wrong but I think I misjudged him just because he's the _bitch's_ father.

"Did you know Niles before this?" Tobias asks.

"Everyone in Candor knows who he is but he isn't a family friend or anything. I have no idea why he so willingly helped us." We'll find out, that's for sure.

"Where is Molly?" he asks.

"I don't know," Drew says.

"Where is Olivia?" He shakes his head.

"I don't know," he sighs.

"Was Ruth Hayes ever a part of your plan?" Tobias asks.

"No. We wanted to recruit her but she's attached to Tris. We knew she would never go for it so we didn't even bother to ask." _Thank God!_ I don't think I could handle a betrayal by her.

"Has anyone else from any faction helped you that we have not talked about yet?" he asks.

"There's a fence worker named Marty Turner who helped us get to an abandoned building on the outskirts of Amity. He's a friend of Lauren's," Drew says. I forgot about him. Looks like he has a factionless future to look forward to. "You already know about Olivia, that Buck guy from Abnegation, and Lauren. Molly and me. That's all I know about." I think I half expected to hear Marcus' name mentioned somewhere along the way. I'm surprised by how disappointed I am that his act isn't an act after all.

"There are some things I want clarified for my own peace of mind." He takes a deep breath before he continues. "Who stabbed Edward in the eye?"

"Peter did," he says.

"Did you help him?" Tobias asks. He fights answering this question the longest, gritting his teeth and wincing again and again.

"Yes," he finally spits. "I held him down." A shiver runs through me upon hearing that.

"Did you know what Peter's intentions were the night you attacked Tris at the chasm?" he asks.

"He said he wanted to show her who was boss," Drew says. "I didn't know he was going to touch her and I certainly didn't know he was going to try to push her into the chasm." I hear a gasp when this is revealed but I don't respond. I keep my eyes on Drew.

"If you had known, would you have told him that you wouldn't participate?"

"Probably not," he says. "I never told him no." He's never told anyone no.

"Did you have any part in Tris' kidnapping by Peter?" Tobias asks.

"Yes, I helped him move her from Dauntless to Candor." I unknowingly squeeze Dad's hand then whimper as pain shoots through my palm, up my forearm, and into my shoulder. I don't like that this subject is being broached. As much as I like to think that I've put that terrible time behind me, it still stars in my nightmares. I know it wasn't my fault but I still feel horribly guilty that I was with another man. Isobel calls it a form of survivor's guilt. I work on those feelings daily. I will Tobias to look my way and when he does, I shake my head once begging him to stop this line of questioning and he nods, understanding.

"Can you tell me what it is that you personally have against Tris Prior?" he instead asks. Confusion floods Drew's features as he considers the question but there appears to be no pain.

"Nothing." _Hmph_. He helped the man who emotionally tortured me, molested me, tried to kill me, kidnapped me, and then raped me but I'm okay in his book. I'm not sure I believe that. He's spewed hate at me in the past. Something tickles at the edges of my memory. _Hasn't_ _he_? I quickly run through my interactions with Drew Boyd and am surprised by what I find. No, he's never raised his voice to me once. He's just went along with whatever Peter and Molly planned. Ruth told me he was a follower. I don't think she knows the half of it.

"That's all the questions I have for you," Tobias says. "Jack, do you have any additional questions for the prisoner?"

"I do," he says as he gets up. "Drew, we ask this question of everyone who goes under truth serum. What is your biggest regret?"

"My biggest regret?" he mumbles. "I regret that I'm not my own person. Everything I've done these past few months, _hell_ my entire life, has been at someone else's request." We all think he's done but he turns his head and looks my way. "Tris, I don't hate you. If I'm telling the absolute truth – and since I'm under truth serum you know that I am - I'm sort of indifferent to you. I could have cared less that you jumped first or beat Molly unconscious. I didn't even mind that it appeared you started dating Four before initiation was over then placed first. But these were things that really mattered to Peter and Molly … Peter because he was jealous of Four and Molly because, well, she's jealous of you. I'm just weak and never learned to say no. I'm sorry for my part in all this. If I had it to do all over, it probably wouldn't change a thing because a leopard never changes its spots and neither do I. That's all I have to say."

"Thank you for your Candor," the Candor members say in unison. Tobias crosses the room and kneels in front of me.

"I want to go back to my room," I quietly say. "I don't feel very well but I think we need to have a talk with Jack. Can you have him meet us?"

"Okay, love," he says. "I'll be right back." He kisses my forehead as he gets up then goes across the room and touches Jack's shoulder.

"Thanks for sitting with me, Dad," I say.

"You don't have to thank me, Beatrice," he says. "You may not live under my roof anymore but you will always be my little girl. I hate how these people view you and I hate that they keep hurting you." He hugs me tightly for a second. "How are you doing with all this?"

"It isn't easy hearing what they had planned, especially for my kids. What kind of animal plans on hurting an innocent child? It makes me that much more motivated to get Molly and Olivia into custody and learn the entire truth." I slide my eyes to Tobias and after a short conversation with Jack, I see them shake hands then he starts back toward me.

"Are you ready to go?" he asks.

"I am," I say. "Thanks again, Dad. I'll see you later. Bye, Caleb."

"Goodbye, Beatrice," Dad says as Caleb says, "I'll see you later." Tobias wheels the chair towards the door then pushes me out into the quiet hallway.

"How are you really doing, love?"

"I don't really know," I murmur. "I have so many conflicting emotions running through me at the moment but I don't know which is dominant. That was a lot to take in, and we still don't know everything."

"We may not know everything but we know a hell of a lot more than we did before," he says.

"I don't understand why everyone hates me," I mutter under my breath as irrational tears gather in my eyes.

"No one hates you."

"Yes, they do," I say, emotion thick in my voice. He wheels me into my room and up next to my bed. He stops then kneels down in front of me again. He cups my face between his strong hands and gently wipes the wetness away with his calloused thumbs then moves his mouth to mine for a slow, tender kiss.

"Everyone who matters loves you. You are quite extraordinary," he says as he runs his hands up and into my hair. I think he's going to kiss me again but his look changes from one of love and adoration to one of pure hatred. "Everyone else can go to hell and, believe me, by the time all of this is over, I'm going to personally see to it that Porter, Molly, Drew, Lauren, and Olivia each receive a one way ticket. Now let's get you into bed." He positioned the wheelchair so all I have to do is stand, turn, and then sit on the bed. It's not as comfy as my big bed at home but right now it's so much better than the wheelchair. Once I'm situated, I reach my hand out and take his.

"Please hold me. I need you, Tobias," I say. He lies down beside me and gathers me up in his arms. I immediately feel safe and loved … I feel home. I slide my hand under the hem of his t-shirt and rest it on his bare abdomen. At first he tenses but he soon relaxes under my touch. I need the physical, skin-on-skin contact. "I'd give anything if you could make love to me right now. It would make me feel so much better."

"I was just thinking the same thing," he roughly says. I tilt my chin up, seeking his lips and he doesn't waste any time fulfilling my wishes. Our lips first move slowly, tenderly together but after he thrusts his tongue into the confines of my mouth, the kiss deepens becoming eager, passionate. He tightens his grip on me, and I moan, unfortunately, with pain. He pulls his lips from mine, panting raggedly. There's remorse in his eyes as he leans up and kisses my temple. I close my eyes and relish the feel of his arms around me as we let our breathing normalize.

"We need to find another stress reliever," I chuckle then wince.

"Yes we do but right now I think you need some pain medication," Tobias says as he pushes the button on the bed. We chat and within two minutes Zander walks in.

"I didn't realize Drew's interrogation was already over," he says. "What can I do for you, Tris?"

"I think my pain meds have worn off," I say. "Everything hurts." He looks at my chart and then his watch.

"It's actually past time for a dose," he says. I watch as he unlocks a cupboard on the wall and take out a vial of liquid then he takes a packaged syringe out of one of the drawers. He measures out a dose then inserts it into the port on my IV. "This will help you rest."

"Thank you, Zander," Tobias and I say at the same time.

"I'll be back to check on you later," he says just as a knock sounds on the door.

"That should be Jack," Tobias says as he extricates himself from my embrace and sure enough the leader of Candor sticks his head into the room.

"I hope this isn't a bad time," he says.

"No, your timing is perfect," Tobias says.

"The doctor just gave me pain medication so I might not be lucid much longer, and I think we have a few things to discuss. Four, can you ask Dad to join us. I'd like a representative of the council to hear this."

"Alright," he says, furrowing his brows then he heads out the door. He's wondering what's going through my mind.

"I'm sorry, Tris," Jack says after a minute of awkward silence. "I'm questioning my leadership skills upon learning of Niles betrayal. That's two men I considered a close, personal friend who's betrayed me. I don't know why I didn't see it."

"It doesn't mean you aren't good at what you do, Jack, it only means that he is better at subterfuge. To tell you the truth, I'm not entirely surprised of his involvement. He's never really liked Four or me."

"I'm beginning to see that myself," he says as Tobias walks into the room, closely followed by my dad.

"Beatrice, honey, are you okay?" he asks when he reaches my bedside, worry evident on his face. I think hearing Porter's plan has adversely affected him, too.

"I'm tired," I say, "so we better get down to business before I pass out." Everyone chuckles thinking it's a joke but I'm dead serious. I'm emotionally exhausted, which is taking a greater toll on my body. "I gathered you all here for two reasons. The first is I want to attend each interrogation. I think that it's my right as the motivation behind these crimes to be present to hear the answers. Jack, we have a large space here in the compound that can be used for public interviews. Do you have a problem with performing the truth serum interrogations here?"

"That's never been done before, Tris, but since Dauntless and its members are the main victims, I don't see a problem with it. I would need to tour the space before I make a decision though. I'm sure you understand."

"I'll have Will escort you to the auditorium when we're finished," Tobias says. It always amazes me how similar our thought process is. He knew exactly what I was talking about.

"The next thing I want to talk about is punishments, and that's why I wanted my father present," I say. "We keep making more and more people factionless, and I'm beginning to think that isn't the best form of punishment. I've been thinking about something for a while. When someone breaks the law it seems like there are only two forms of punishment: Death or becoming factionless. Sometimes the crime, in my opinion, doesn't warrant a death sentence but becoming factionless, with or without memory serum seems like a slap on the wrist. What if we created a work detail? There are so many parts of this city in disrepair. Why not put these criminals to work for a good cause?" Tobias, Jack, and Dad look at one another and then at me.

"I like the idea," Dad says. "But how would we keep them from just running off?"

"We would have to hammer out the details but I suggest a color of their very own for starters. Purple or maybe orange. They would work in small groups guarded by groups of two or three Dauntless patrol. Since policing the factionless sector was discontinued, which I think was a mistake, we have more than enough personnel guarding the fence. They can be reassigned. Might I also suggest a color of their own for the factionless? I could be paranoid but too many times over the past year they've been using our generosity against us by getting complete color coordinated outfits from the redistribution center or each other and entering factions undetected. Obviously, we as leaders can't know every single member of our faction but maybe it would be a deterrent for these factionless criminals to try."

"I love how your brain works," Tobias says.

"I have to admit, I like your plan also," Jack says.

"Has anything like this been tried before?" I ask, looking at my father.

"Not that I know of," he says. "I can check the archives then the council will have to discuss the matter."

"I don't expect the city to rush into anything," I say. "I've just been thinking about it for a while now." I yawn widely.

"I think we need to let Tris get some rest," Tobias says as he caresses my cheek. "When will we know about the interrogations?"

"Before I leave today," Jack says. "Tris, I hope you get to feeling better."

"Thank you," I softly say.

"Four, I'll let you know if I have any updates," he says. "I expect the same from you."

"You can count on it," he says. "Let me walk you out."

"Hurry back," I say as my eyes slide shut. The bed jostles, making my eyes open, and I find Tobias staring down at me.

"I didn't mean to wake you," he says.

"I wasn't asleep," I say through a yawn. "I _just_ closed my eyes." He chuckles softly.

"You've been out all evening. You even missed supper," he says. "Are you feeling up for some company? Tyler's getting pretty antsy. He wants to see his Mommy."

"Of course," I say. "I can't believe I was asleep. It doesn't feel like it." He kisses my forehead then says, "I'll be right back." After he walks out the door, I adjust the bed into a sitting position and try to get my bearings. When the door swings open, I'm surprised to find Tobias with Tessa and Teagan in his arms and Tyler walking in front of him holding a small sack.

"Tess and Teags want to see you, too, Mommy," Tyler excitedly says. He climbs up the side of the bed being extremely careful of the sack and straight into my arms. He hugs me tightly and I return the affection with as much fervor as my body will allow at the moment. "I miss you." Suddenly he sounds so sad.

"I've missed you, too, buddy" I say. "I'm sorry I've been asleep so long."

"We go home?" he asks, hopeful.

"I'm not sure when Zander will let Mommy go home," I say. "I think I have to get a little better before he releases me."

"A lot better," Tobias says. I didn't see him lower himself into the chair next to the bed. I reach out and Tessa takes my finger then starts jabbering. "She misses you, too. They all do." A single tear slides down my cheek and Tyler reaches out and wipes it away.

"It otay, Mommy," he says.

"I love you very much," I say. "I love you all very much. I can't wait to get home and get everything back to normal."

"I bwing you sompin," Tyler says with a brilliant smile. He hands me the sack, which I open to find a flattened turkey sandwich, some potato chip crumbs, carrot and celery sticks, and a single chocolate chip cookie.

"Thank you very much," I say. "How did you know I was hungry?"

"You miss eatin'," he says. "You tummy hungwy." He's very perceptive because my stomach is lightly growling. He jabbers while I eat my meal. It may not be in the best of shape but since it was given to me by my son, it might as well be a five course meal. When I unwrap the cookie, he sits up a little straighter, and I know he's dying for a bite.

"You know what? I'm getting full. Would you like to share my cookie with me?" His head bobs up and down eagerly, his eyes bright with excitement. I split the cookie in half and give him the bigger of the two."

"Thanks!" he says.

"Would you like a bite?" I offer Tobias but he declines. I watch as Peanut shoves her fist in her mouth then frowns. "Are you hungry, baby girl?" Tobias looks down at her and smiles.

"She's definitely hungry," he says. "Your mom tried to give her a bottle just before we came in but she wouldn't take it."

"Maybe I should try to give her one," I say as I put the rest of the cookie in my mouth. "She needs to learn to take one. Maybe she would be more willing if it was coming from me." I have Tyler shift down so he's sitting by my legs and Tobias maneuvers Peanut into my arms and she immediately starts rooting at my chest. "I'm going to give you a bottle, Peanut. If Mommy ever plans to go back to work, you need to learn how to take one." Tobias ducks out of the room and returns less than two minutes later with a prepared bottle.

"Here you go, love," he says then sits back down in the chair. After nearly giving up, she finally relents and takes the bottle.

"That's my good girl," I say. "You better slow down or you're going to choke." She stares up at me while I talk to her. I have a lot of questions for Tobias but I don't want to interrupt this family time with our problems so they can wait. Instead I inquire on what my kids have been doing the past three days.

"Who has been taking care of you, Tyler?" I ask.

"Gwamma and Gwampa," he says. "I see Zane fo a little while today."

"He went to daycare during the interrogation," Tobias says. "I thought all three of them by herself would be too much for Natalie. Cara had to go back to Erudite yesterday."

"Are you being good for Grandma and Grandpa?" I ask.

"Yeah. They tell me so."

"Did you have fun with Zane today?"

"I did! We played with blocks and wobots and dinos. It fun! Emma play with us little but Elliott and Mia not thewe."

"Well, I'm glad you had a good time," I say. "Is there something special you want to do before bedtime?"

"Can I stay with you?" he asks, pouting.

"You can stay with Mommy until you go to sleep," Tobias says. "But you'll have to spend the night across the hall because she needs her rest. Okay?"

"Otay!" When Peanut finishes her bottle she promptly falls asleep in my arms. I hold her for a while longer because I've been missing her terribly. After my arm starts throbbing, Tobias takes her and lies her in the portable infant bed Isobel brought in earlier right next to a sleeping Tessa.

"Come here," I say to Tyler and hold my arms out to him. With his father's help, he crawls up the bed and snuggles into my right side, being extremely careful of my wounds. "I like sitting with you like this. We should do it more often."

"I like too," he says.

"Can I join this party?" Tobias asks.

"Otay, Daddy," he says with a yawn. He gently sits on the bed and wraps his arm around me while I run my fingers through Tyler's hair until I realize he's asleep. "Would you like me to move him?"

"No, I want to hold him for a while longer," I say. "He won't always want his Mommy."

"I have a feeling this one will always want you," he says. "He loves you very much. He was about ready to come across the hall earlier if I didn't check on you." I kiss his head and he sighs contentedly.

"Did Jack okay having the interrogations here?" I ask.

"He did. Porter, Niles, and Lauren will be interviewed here tomorrow starting at 10 a.m."

"Good," I say. "I'm glad I get to witness them. I can't help but feel that this is all my fault."

"Tris," he sighs.

"No, hear me out, baby. If I hadn't suggested that Porter sit and stew in prison for six months, living with his misery, none of this would be happening."

"That's just not true," Tobias says. "If it wasn't Porter it would have been someone else pushing Molly and Drew's buttons and talking them into doing their dirty work. He's the killer and they're his weapons."

"I'm not sure I'll ever get over this," I say. "He planned people's murders just because they knew me. What if he had chosen to start with you first or my parents or God forbid one of the kids?"

"I don't want to hear you talk this way, love," he says. "What if's never get a person anywhere. All they do is make you doubt yourself. You didn't do anything wrong. Not when you became the first jumper. Not when you beat Molly. Not when you placed first during initiation. And definitely not when Peter died. This. Is. Not. Your. Fault." He places his lips to mine and kisses me gently then groans as he pulls away. "Neither of us have anything to be ashamed of or guilty about, Tris. We are not the reason Molly and Drew are factionless. We are not the reason Peter is dead. We are not the reason Porter is behind bars. And we are not responsible for the plan cooked up by him and executed by Molly and her minions that killed Sam, Harrison, and Frankie. _They_ made their decisions. _They_ need to be held accountable."

"I know you're right … up here," I touch my head, "but it still hurts here." I touch my heart.

"We'll get through this, love," he says as he kisses my temple.

"I know."


	103. Chapter 103

I'm not sure what time it is but I know it's still quite early, and Tobias isn't in bed with me. For a split second after I pry my heavy eyelids open, I panic until I see the wound on my left hand and realize that this is indeed reality and not a simulation or another horrible dream my night has been plagued by. I take a few deep, cleansing breath but it takes me a while to calm myself down, which makes me wonder how long he's been gone because I usually don't have that many nightmares with him beside me.

Faint crying reaches my ears, and I immediately recognize a very distressed Peanut. She's been put through so much these past few days, I think she deserves a break this morning. I take the stiff, lightweight blanket off me and swing my legs over the edge of the bed then slip my feet onto the floor. I take a tentative step and pain shoots through my hip and down my left leg. Instead of trying to make it out the door and across the hallway, I make it to the wheelchair, which Tobias wheeled out of the way after taking the kids to their room last night and sit down. Relief immediately washes over me. I wheel myself up to the door and push my way through it. Peanut's cries are louder in the hallway even though that door is shut also. After trying to get the door open, I softly rap on the doorframe then back up a few feet.

"Beatrice!" Dad says in a hushed voce, surprised to see me. He steps aside and allows me to enter. "What are you doing out of bed?"

"I couldn't sleep, and then I heard Teagan crying," I say. I glance in my Mom's direction and find that she has a haggard look about her. She's in desperate need of a break today. "How long has she been up?"

"I've been trying to give her a bottle for over 45 minutes," she says. "She's being very stubborn this morning. She's nearly woken up her brother and sister twice now."

"I'm going to nurse her," I say. "You all need a break. Why don't you go up to our apartment and get some sleep?"

"We couldn't possibly do that," Mom says.

"Please. I insist. You both have done so much for me and Four these past few days and you are exhausted. His keys are right there." I point at the tray table against the wall. "Take them. Go get some rest."

"Okay," she finally relents. "Thank you, Beatrice."

"No, thank you both," I say. "Can you help me into bed with Tyler and Tessa then you can give me Teagan."

"Of course," Dad says. He carefully moves Tyler and then Tessa over, making room for me then wheels me to the bed. I stand up, turn, and sit down just like in the other room. Once I get situated, Mom hands me Peanut who is crying loudly. I stick my knuckle in her mouth, quieting her but I know it won't last long.

"Thank you," I say. "What time is it anyway?"

"A little after 4 a.m.," Mom says as she looks at the clock on the wall behind me.

"Do you know where Four is?" I ask.

"The last we knew he was helping get the auditorium ready for the interrogations," Dad says. "I think he has a lot of nervous energy following Drew's interview." Normally we work off that excess, uneasy energy with each other so I know how he's feeling right now.

"Okay," I say. "Can you close the door behind you? I don't want my precious girl waking up the entire infirmary."

"We will," they say then exit the room, doing as I ask and securing the door behind them. I unhook the cup on my nursing cami and put Peanut to my full breast. She latches on easily, and I swear I see her smile as she suckles. She obviously doesn't like a bottle, and I'm not sure how to remedy that. I remain quiet so I don't disturb Tyler and Tessa while Peanut eats. I just gaze at my very hungry baby girl, caressing her head and face as she nurses. Just as I put her to my shoulder to burp, Tobias rushes into the room, his eyes wild with worry. My heart starts slamming against my ribcage wondering why he looks the way he does.

"What's wrong?" I whisper when he reaches my side. He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and runs his hand through his messy hair.

"I couldn't find you," he finally says. "I started to panic."

"I'm sorry. I couldn't sleep and heard Peanut so I decided to nurse her," I say. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"Where are your parents?" he quietly asks.

"I sent them to our apartment to get some rest. They're both exhausted."

"I'm surprised they went," he says as he pulls a chair up next to me. "I've been trying to get them to take a break for days."

"Our sweet baby girl has them both stressed out," I say. "She was stubbornly refusing the bottle and beyond pissed off. I swear she smiled when I put her to my breast."

"She's been very obstinate since you were hurt," he says. "Earlier when you gave her the bottle was the easiest time anyone's had and I could tell it frustrated you. I guess that's why I'm surprised you're nursing her."

"She needed a break, too, and if I didn't get to nurse I was going to have to pump soon anyway," I say as I put her to my other breast. "This has been very stressful for her, too. I didn't mean to introduce the bottle in this way. The minute she latched on she calmed right down."

"She looks more content than I've seen her in days," he says as he runs his hand over her head.

"I agree and I haven't spent as much time with her as you have," I say. "Mom and Dad told me you couldn't sleep."

"I tried but it was impossible. I'd close my eyes and see that bastard's smug face." I knit my brows together wondering who he was picturing. We unfortunately have come to know too many smug bastards. "Porter Hayes," he spits and Tyler groans then rolls over. "Sorry. Why couldn't you sleep?"

"Bad dreams," I say.

"They must have started after I got up," he says. "You were sleeping quietly, a little smile on your face. I watched for a while, wondering what put that look on your face."

"You did," I say, bits and pieces of an erotic dream about Tobias making me flush.

"That good, huh?" he says with his cocky grin. He likes that I have sex dreams about him.

"Always," I say as I lean over and kiss him then I groan as I right myself.

"Do you need more pain medication? I could go look for Isobel. Zander went home after he checked on you around midnight."

"It probably wouldn't hurt," I say. "Is there enough room in this bed for all of us? I'd like for you to stay also. You need some rest just like Mom and Dad. You're pushing yourself too much. I'm worried about you."

"I think there's more than enough room for us all," he says. "You shouldn't worry about me."

"How can I not worry, Tobias?" I ask as I reach out and caress his face. "You know how I feel about you. Take care of yourself … _please_."

"Nothing is going to happen to me," he says as he covers my hand with his. "You concentrate on getting better."

"Alright," I say. We're quiet as I finish nursing Peanut who eats more than she ever has before. It's almost as if she knows her next feeding will more than likely come from a bottle and she's storing milk up for the long fight. After her final burp she lies her head on my shoulder and falls asleep. Tobias takes her and puts her in the baby bed then he goes and retrieves Isobel who gives me something to take care of the pain and within minutes I surrender to a dreamless sleep.

Rustling of fabric and hushed voices wake me up. I know that it's hours later because I finally feel refreshed. I slide my eyes open unnoticed and observe my family getting ready for the day. Mom is helping Tyler get dressed, Dad is rocking Tessa who is taking a bottle, and Tobias is changing Peanut's diaper on the end of the bed.

"Good morning," I say, bringing it to everyone's attention that I'm awake.

"Oh, we waked Mommy up," Tyler says with a pout. "Sowwy, Mommy."

"I was ready to get up," I say. "You didn't wake me." His forlorn look turns sunny as he smiles brightly.

"I was happy when I waked up and you was with me," he says. "I was 'prised."

"It was a nice surprise for me as well to wake up with my whole family here," I say. "How did you sleep, Mom, Dad?"

"Good. Thank you very much for the use of your apartment," she says. "Your father and I both feel grateful for the break."

"You guys can go home if you want," I say.

"No!" Tyler whines. "I like Gwamma and Gwampa with me."

"We aren't going anywhere, not until you get to go home, Beatrice," Dad says. Hearing this makes Tyler grin from ear to ear. "We don't want to be anywhere else but here with you and the kids right now."

"Okay," I say. "But if you need a break, please take it."

"We will," Mom says.

"Tyler and Tessa are going to daycare today," Tobias says. "Teagan will be staying with your mom."

"Has she eaten yet?" I ask.

"No, we haven't even tried," he says as he finishes dressing her. I hold my hands out and he gently places him in my arms.

"Hey, pretty girl, are you going to be good for you grandma today?" I ask as she grins at me. "I think I get you. You are the opposite of Tessa. She's my stress eating baby and you don't want as much."

"I never thought of it that way," Mom says. "But you're right about Tessa. I think she's gained at least a pound since Sunday."

"My poor girls," I say. I watch Peanut and know that she is in fact hungry so I ask Tobias for a blanket so I can nurse her.

"I was going to take Tyler to the cafeteria for breakfast," Tobias says. "Would you like me to change our plans?"

"No. I'm sure you haven't had a lot of one-on-one time these last few days. You go ahead and go. After Peanut finishes, I'm going to have someone help me with a shower."

"Would you like me to get you some breakfast?"

"That would be nice," I say. "Something light. Maybe a bran muffin and some fruit."

"I swear you are the only one who actually likes those bran muffins," Tobias says, turning up his nose.

"I think they're rather tasty," I say.

"Okay," he says as he leans down and gives me a tender kiss. I run my hand down his cheek as he kisses me. "I love you, Tris."

"I love you, too," I say as he moves the blanket away from Peanut and kisses her head then replaces it.

"Are you ready to go, buddy?" he asks.

"Yeah!" Tyler excitedly says. "Bye, Gwamma. I love you. I see you latew! Bye, Gwampa. I love you. I see you latew! Bye, Mommy. I love you. I see you latew!" He gives each of my parents a hug and kiss then has Tobias lift him so he can hug and kiss me.

"I love you, too, buddy," I say. "I'll see you later. You be good."

"I will! Bye!" He waves at everyone as Tobias carries him out into the hallway after kissing Tessa on the head. I chat with Mom and Dad about a little bit of everything while I finish nursing Peanut then hold Tessa until Isobel comes in to help me with a shower and getting dressed. I kiss the girls, hug my parents, then let Isobel wheel me across the hall and into my room.

"Do you think I'll be transferred to a regular room soon or will I be getting to go home soon?" I ask as I sit down on the thin mattress after I'm showered and dressed for the day in loose fitting clothes and a robe.

"Dr. Parrish and I have discussed it but a decision hasn't been made yet," she says. "It's handy to have your family directly across the hall."

"I know it probably doesn't seem fair that we are using two rooms but I wouldn't know what to do without knowing that they're safe just feet away."

"I totally understand," she says as she checks my hand wound. "I don't know what I would do if a lunatic threatened my entire family."

"It's not easy knowing that my kids were three of their targets," I say, gritting my teeth in anger. "That's unforgivable."

"Yes, it is," she says. A knock sounds on the door and Tobias sticks his head in the room.

"Are you decent?" he asks.

"You tell me," I tease in a flirtatious tone. He comes up to my bedside carrying a tray and leans over and gives me a quick, loving kiss.

"On that note, I will leave you two alone," Isobel chuckles as she walks out of the room.

"Well you know how to clear a room," he laughs. "Breakfast is served, love." He moves the tray table across my lap and puts down a plate with a bran muffin, a cup of yogurt, and a bowl of fruit and a bottle of milk.

"Thank you. This looks delicious. How was your breakfast with Tyler?" I ask as I take a bite of the moist muffin. I close my eyes and moan, it tastes divine.

"It was entertaining," he says as he opens my bottle of milk for me. "Of course, he wanted to sit with Uriah in case I forgot it was morning just this once and let him eat cake." He chuckles. "I didn't but he was happy to be with everyone. He missed you though. So did I. All our friends missed you, too. If you're feeling up to it, how would you like to have supper in the cafeteria?"

"It sounds like a wonderful idea but I'm not sure I'm up for that yet," I say. "The interrogation yesterday took a lot out of me. I hope I make it through all three today. What time is it anyway?"

"It's a little past 9:30. When you finish your breakfast we'll leave. Tyler and Tessa have both been taken to daycare. Your mom took Peanut to our apartment. I thought maybe the familiar surroundings would be good for her. Your father is in the auditorium greeting the different faction members. It's already filling up and not just with Dauntless members. I really didn't think there would be a big crowd but I was wrong. I think people are more curious to see the inside of the compound than the interrogations though. You should have seen the gawkers. It reminded me of visitation day, all the people walking around, mouth agape, staring at their surroundings."

"Just like every new initiate when they take in the understated beauty that is the Pit," I say as I push the tray of half eaten food away from me.

"Is that all you are going to eat?" he asks, worry creasing his forehead.

"I'm full," I say. "I already don't feel the greatest. I don't want to add a stomachache to the list."

"Did Isobel give you something for the pain?" he asks.

"She gave me a couple acetaminophen," I say. "It's taken the edge off the pain. I didn't want to sleep through the interviews so I didn't want anything stronger." He looks less than pleased with me. "For now."

"Alright," he finally says. "I know harping on you will only make matters worse but promise me one thing, Tris, if you get to feeling poorly you'll forget about the interrogations. I need you to get better." I sigh as I look at him.

"Okay," I say. "If I get to feeling worse, I'll come back to the infirmary." He moves the tray table out of the way and sits down next to me.

"I love you. It kills me that Olivia and Drew were able to get close enough to hurt you, and all I could do was stand there and watch them do it. I should have been able to protect you. That's my job."

"You take care of me every single day, Tobias Eaton," I say, running my fingertips down his cheek. "And if I'm not mistaken, you shot Drew … _twice_. If that's not protecting me then I don't know what is."

"They should both be dead," he says under his breath after he wraps his arms tightly around me. I run my arms up his back and into his hair, moving my mouth to his.

"I love you," I breathlessly murmur against his lips when we're both in desperate need of air.

"I love you, too," he says, tightening his grip on me, running his hands up and down my back.

"Yeah, yeah. We all love each other," Zeke says from just inside the door. Tobias groans but doesn't move away from me. He gives me a final kiss then turns toward his best friend with a steely glare. Instead of being intimidated, Zeke laughs.

"At least you have all your clothes on this time," he chuckles. My face goes red at the comment, and I hear a growl emanate from Tobias' chest. "Just kidding. Geez. Always so serious. You need to lighten up, my friend."

"What do you want?" I ask, sensing that Tobias isn't in the mood for Zeke's jokes.

"It's almost time for the interrogations," he says. "Everyone is there but you two." Tobias pulls his phone out of his pocket then looks at the clock on the wall.

"Well, shit," he mutters. "That clock is slow. We've got to go, love."

"Okay," I say. He pushes the wheelchair up beside the bed, and I lower myself into it then he quickly wheels me out of the infirmary, across the Pit floor, and into the auditorium. My eyes widen as I take in the number of people in the room, whose eyes all seem to be on me. I've never seen it this full.

"I'm sorry we're late," Tobias says. "The clock in Tris' room is slow."

"No worries," Jack says, reaching out to shake his hand. "Lauren has been brought in and is waiting preparation. I've talked it over with my fellow leaders and we would like to recruit you to help with the interrogations. I'll do the basic questioning and you will ask any questions about Porter's plan and Molly, Drew, Olivia, and Lauren's actions. If I have any additional questions, I will ask them at that time. Do you have any questions for me?"

"No, I don't but thank you for the opportunity to ask the questions. I appreciate it," he says. "Let me get Tris situated then I'll join you on stage."

"I'll go ahead and get her prepped for the interrogation so we can keep to our schedule." Tobias wheels me over next to an empty chair, which is meant for him. Dad slides over to fill it, and I'm thankful for his presence.

"I'll check on you in between interrogations," Tobias says. "Remember your promise."

"I will," I say. "You get us some answers."


	104. Chapter 104

After Tobias gives me a quick, tender kiss, I watch him walk up on stage to where Lauren is seated in the single black leather armchair that sits center stage. Jack just handed her the alcohol swab and instructed her to wipe off the left side of her neck, which she is doing right now. I've witnessed countless interrogations since becoming a leader of Dauntless, and I've gotten pretty good at reading people who are about to be put under truth serum. I know without a doubt that Lauren is guilty of assisting Molly with Porter's plan but her demeanor right now isn't one of a guilty person. Most guilty people are defiant and resistant to the serum prep while the innocent ones are compliant and helpful. She definitely falls in the latter category, which is in direct contrast to what we know about her involvement with Molly and Drew. Jack takes a syringe out of the black box sitting on a small table next to her chair and the irrational anxiety I experienced yesterday returns. I avert my eyes and take some deep, calming breaths as Jack injects the serum into the left side of her neck. When I hear the box lid close, I look at Lauren and find her slumped in the chair ready for the interrogation.

"For those of you who don't know who I am, my name is Jack Kang. I'm the leader of Candor, and I will be conducting the interrogations today with the help of Four here, the leader of Dauntless."

"We'll have complete quiet during these proceedings," Tobias says. "If you disrupt us, you will be removed." I know that this speech is meant for the normally rowdy Dauntless crowd and not the remaining three factions. Understandably, there are no representatives from Amity here today. Summer made the long trip back to her faction last night and chose not to return. "The first interrogation will be of Lauren Jones, Dauntless. You may proceed, Jack."

"Please state your full name for the record," Jack says.

"Lauren Christine Jones." Typical confusion settles on her face as she states her name with no hesitation. At least we know the serum is working today.

"How old are you?" he asks.

"22," Lauren says.

"What are your parents' names?"

"Bill and Cindy Jones," she says, a bittersweet melancholy marking her voice.

"Do you have any siblings?" Jack asks.

"No, I'm an only child."

"What is your born faction?" he asks.

"Candor," Lauren says.

"What faction did you chose?"

"Dauntless," she proudly says.

"Which faction are you loyal to?" Jack asks. She pauses and confusion crosses her face. I expect some pain also with how long she is taking to answer but she's displaying none.

"I'd like to think that my loyalties lie with Dauntless," she finally says. A hushed scoff echoes throughout the cavernous room. Jack looks at Tobias then nods.

"If you are loyal to Dauntless, why would you conspire with a group of outsiders against one of its leaders?" Tobias asks.

"I didn't want to." Even from where I'm sitting, I see tears streaming down her face. "They made me."

"What do you mean they made you?" he asks. "You don't have a mind of your own?"

"Of course, I have a mind of my own, Four," Lauren says. "I love the life I've built for myself here at Dauntless but they knew, and they made me help them. I swear I didn't want to."

"They knew about what?" She fights as hard as she can against the serum before she gives in, pain contorting her face.

"About the baby," she says. _Baby?_ What the hell is she talking about?

"What baby?" Tobias asks, looking just as confused as I'm feeling.

"When I was 15, I fell in love with a neighbor boy, Drake Mills. My parents didn't like him. They thought he wasn't good enough for me. I never understood why. I always envied his home life. His parents were so nice and welcoming. I loved it there. We planned on making the move to Dauntless together when we turned 16 but," she chokes back a sob, "he died. He had a severe peanut allergy and ate something he wasn't supposed to. I was heartbroken. Then I found out I was pregnant. I knew what my parents would say and what they would expect me to do so I hid the pregnancy from them. It wasn't that difficult. I didn't get very big so baggy clothes hid it well. I was so scared the night I went into labor. Thank God I read books on what to do. After I had the baby, I took the bus to the hospital and left her in front of the emergency department. I've never told this story out loud to another living soul before. I have absolutely no idea how Molly and Peter learned about her but they did, and they both had me do their bidding at one time or another since they jumped into Dauntless. Abandoning my child the way I did was the darkest time in my life. I made a lot of bad choices that I never wanted to come to life. That's why I did everything they asked me to do. I was scared and ashamed. I'm _so_ sorry." That's quite a story. Now I understand why she did what he did. If I abandoned a child, I wouldn't want anyone to know about it either.

"Let's concentrate on Molly for right now," Tobias says. "We'll revisit what you did for Peter later. When did Molly first approach you with her plan?"

"Just after initiation started."

"How did she contact you?" he asks.

"She slid a sheet of paper under my door asking me to meet her," Lauren says. "I didn't want to go but the note had a _friendly_ reminder of what she knew so I went."

"Where did you meet her?"

"The park in town," she says.

"What did she ask you to do?" Tobias asks.

"She told me that Tris killed Peter and that his father wanted to teach her a lesson. She then laid out Porter's plan and asked me to help her execute it. I told her no, that I didn't have a problem with Tris but she threatened me until I gave in. I never wanted my secret to come to light."

"What exactly did she ask you to do?" he asks.

"I was in charge of keeping up with the surveillance," Lauren says. "If footage needed to be erased, I erased it. If she wanted cameras turned off, I turned them off."

"Did she ever ask you to do anything that didn't have to do with surveillance?"

"Yeah," she says. "After Sam was killed, Molly had me give her regular updates on the investigation so she could stay one step ahead, and when she realized you were getting close to figuring things out, she had me try to frame Kirsten Reyes as being the mole."

"Why Kirsten?" Tobias asks. I look toward where Kirsten is sitting with Trevor, Ella, and Stefan. She's sitting on the edge of her seat with a nasty scowl on her face.

"Molly left it up to me who to try and set up. I watched security feed of all Tris' friends but Kirsten was the one who I thought I could get closest too. She has a routine that she never strays from." It's terrible to think that a routine is a bad thing.

"What about the remote access software on my computer?" he asks. Lauren looks surprised.

"Molly wanted certain files, although she didn't tell me which ones, so she broke into Harrison and Tori's offices and homes trying to access them from their computers but they didn't have high enough clearance so she had me put remote access software on your computer thinking that would get her what she wanted. I don't know if it did or not." Hhm. We know she accessed files from all three work computers. Maybe Molly didn't share that with Lauren.

"Did she ask you to do anything else?"

"Yeah, she asked me to make sure she could get outside the fence whenever she wanted to," she says, a shudder moving through her. "I knew a fence worker named Marty Turner had a crush on me so I agreed to date him in exchange for letting Molly have unfettered access to Amity. I would also erase any evidence of the unauthorized openings and closings in the fence logs."

"Was there anything else she asked you to do?" Tobias asks.

"No, she did not."

"Did you have a direct hand in the deaths of Samantha Lawrence, Harrison Cosgrove, or Frankie Dutka?" he asks.

"I did not," Lauren says.

"Do you feel remorse for what you did?"

"I do," she says. "I didn't want to participate in the first place. I wish I hadn't been so scared to let a secret come out that came to light anyway. I have so many regrets in life. I hate that this has become another one."

"Let's rewind for a moment," Tobias says. "You said that Peter Hayes blackmailed you into helping him also. What exactly did he have you do?"

"He had me alter the security camera footage in the garage the afternoon he kidnapped Tris."

"What do you mean?" he asks, his voice deadly quiet. I, too, sit up and take notice of this. I didn't know there was any alteration of the footage during my case. As a matter of fact, I don't remember Tobias ever saying anything to me about the security cameras.

"He had me run a loop of the garage that was recorded earlier at the time that she was kidnapped so that he couldn't be followed," Lauren says. Tobias turns his back on the crowd, takes a deep breath, and runs his hand through his hair. After a moment, he collects himself and turns back around.

"Did you do anything else to help Peter with Tris' kidnapping?"

"No, I didn't," she says.

"Did you think to come to me when she was missing and tell me where my wife was?" Tobias asks. I think he's angrier learning she helped with my kidnapping than the death of three Dauntless members.

"Yes but, like I've said before, I didn't want my secret coming out so I kept my mouth shut and went along with everything. I'm not proud of my actions."

"You shouldn't be," he hisses. "I'm done with her Jack." As Tobias walks off stage, Dad slides over to let him sit down next to me. He puts his arm around me and draws me near. I can feel nearly every eye in the auditorium on us but I don't care. I lean into him, resting my head against his shoulder, and he kisses my temple. I rest my injured hand on his thigh and look toward the stage. Jack is staring at Lauren, his brows furrowed.

"Did you conspire with anyone from inside Candor to hurt Tris Prior?" he says.

"Just Porter Hayes," Lauren says.

"Did you meet with Porter?"

"No, I only met with Molly and Drew," she says.

"The morning you were arrested in Candor, you were found in Niles Murphy's office after we were sent on a wild goose chase," Jack says. "How did you come to be in his office?"

"Molly told me he was helping her and his office would be a safe place to hide, that no one would ever look for me there." She scoffs at the notion, knowing that that is exactly where she was caught.

"Why were we first sent to another office looking for you?" he asks.

"Molly still wanted me to keep up on the investigation so I piggybacked my laptop on Stephanie Misner's office computer. Since she is Tris' best friend's mother, I thought they would drag her in for questioning and I would have time to escape. I was wrong. I'm not sure how you found me. You must have someone who's better with computers than me, although that's hard to believe." My eyes seek out Callen, and I see a sense of pride on his face. He's better than Lauren in every way.

"What do you think your punishment should be?" I've never heard this question asked of anyone before during all the interrogations. I wonder why he asked it while she sits staring straight ahead.

"I honestly don't know," she finally says. "Maybe Tris should pick my punishment." That's a novel idea, although after hearing her story I don't know what the appropriate punishment would be.

"I have one final question for you, Lauren," Jack says. "What's your biggest regret?" I think the whole room already knows her answer after her story at the beginning of the interrogation.

"Leaving my newborn daughter outside the hospital will always be my biggest regret," she says, tears streaming down her face.

"Thank you for your Candor," echoes around the room after all the Candor members say it in unison.

"The next interrogation will begin in 10 minutes," Jack says then gives some instructions to Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo. They drag Lauren out of the chair and off the stage then through the rear door. I know they're taking her to our holding cells, which thankfully aren't too far away.

"Are you okay?" Tobias quietly asks me.

"I am," I say. "I could never understand what I did to make Lauren hate me and want to help Molly. The answer is nothing. She was helping her for her own reasons. Part of me doesn't blame her. If I were in her shoes, I wouldn't want that secret to come out."

"You are far too forgiving," Christina mutters from behind me. I turn in my wheelchair the best I can and look at my best friend. She's angry.

"I don't forgive her. Not at all."

"She tried to frame my mother for something she didn't do," she says. "She could have been killed."

"I'm sorry that any of you were put in danger because of me," I murmur.

"It's not your fault," Will says.

"Love, you know this isn't your fault," Tobias says.

"No, it's not," Will and Christina say at the same time.

"We've talked about this," he says, kissing my temple again. "Porter and Molly had an ax to grind. That's on them, not you."

"I know," I say. It does nothing to squash my guilt though but I might as well not say anything. Changing the subject I say, "Why do you think he asked her what her punishment should be?"

"I don't know," Tobias says.

"I'm surprised she didn't have an elaborate punishment worked out in her mind with as much guilt as she has," Christina says. "I don't see how someone could just give their baby away like that. It's one thing to put it up for adoption but to leave it outside the hospital like that. It's so dangerous."

"I know," I say. We're all quiet for a time, contemplating the baby's fate I imagine or that's what I'm doing at least. The door by the stage slams open and Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo drag Niles into the room then up on stage. They throw him into the leather armchair and each keep a hand on his shoulders, keeping him in place.

"Are you ready?" Jack asks Tobias as he approaches us.

"Yeah," he says. "Would you like to do the honors with him?"

"If you're asking if I want to stab him in the neck with a needle, yeah, I would," he says, glaring at the prisoner who glares right back at us.

"I was actually talking about the questions but I'm not going to stop you from stabbing him," Tobias says, a little humor in his voice. "Be my guest." A small smile lifts Jack's lips and a measure of calm seems to wash over him.

"Thank you, Four," he says. "I do think I would like to ask the questions but I'd like you on stage with me."

"You've got it," he says. He gives me a quick peck then follows Jack up on the stage. I find my heart rate accelerating with anticipation. This is the interrogation I'm most interested in. I now fully understand why each one of the other players did what they did but he's a mystery to me. He's always had a chip on his shoulder when it comes to me and my family. I want to know why. After refusing to wipe off his own neck, Tobias stands behind Niles and puts his strong hands on his head and exposes his neck to Jack who tears into an alcohol swab and quickly wipes the skin then with no pretense whatsoever, jabs the long needle into his neck and injects the serum. Within seconds, Tobias is able to let go of his head when he slumps in the chair under the effects of the serum and he moves just behind Jack.

"The next interrogation is of Niles Murphy, Candor," Jack loudly says to the crowd then he turns his attention to the prisoner. "Please state your full name for the record."

"Niles Alexander Murphy." Just like every interrogation except Drew's first, typical confusion fills his face.

"What are your parents' names?" he asks.

"Alexander and Melissa Murphy," Niles says.

"Do you have any siblings?"

"I do," he says. "A brother and a sister."

"What are their names?" Jack asks.

"Noah Murphy and Neva Hampton." I hear Will gasp when he hears the names. I turn to look at him, and I find that he's lost all his color. He mouths, I'll tell you later and I nod then I turn my attention back to the stage, wondering about his reaction.

"What faction were you born in?" he asks.

"Erudite," Niles says. I look at Dad, wondering if they had a past he hasn't shared.

"What faction did you choose?"

"Candor of course," he says, head held high. It's easy to tell which faction he views as superior.

"What faction are you loyal to?"

"Candor," he says.

"You are a high ranking member of Candor," Jack says. "How is it that you got messed up in Porter's plan?"

"He asked me." I realize now that the wording of the questions is going to have to be pretty specific to elicit the entire truth from the man who has done thousands of interrogations during his career.

"How did Porter Hayes contact you?" he asks.

"He called me," Niles says.

"Do you know how he got access to a phone?"

"No," he says. This is going to take a while I'm afraid.

"When he called you, what did he ask of you?" Jack asks.

"He wanted to see me immediately."

"You obviously went," he says.

"I did," Niles says, a smile on his face. It's obvious that he's enjoying himself.

"When you saw him for the first time in his cell, what did he ask you to do?" This time Niles frowns. I guess Jack is catching on.

"He asked me to get a note to his niece, Molly Atwood," he says. "He wanted her help getting revenge against Tris Prior for killing his son, Peter," he says. I wish these people would stop saying that. I didn't have anything to do with that creep's death, although I would have gladly reached down his throat and ripped his testicles out through his mouth.

"Why did you tell him you would help him knowing full well that Tris had absolutely nothing to do with Peter's death?" Jack asks. "That is a proven fact." Niles winces as he fights with the serum for the first time since being injected.

"I don't like Tris Prior at all, and I wanted to see her put in her place just once." _That's it_? He just doesn't like me. _Well, screw him!_ At least I won't be factionless or worse after all this is all said and done.

"Let me see if I understand this right," he says rubbing his temple. Maybe he, too, realizes that his friend has thrown his entire life away because of a stupid grudge. "You don't like Tris so you decided to help a grieving father sic a deranged girl on her _friends_. You thought this was okay?"

"No," Niles quickly answers then looks confused. I think he's taken aback by his own answer.

"Why did you tell Porter yes then?"

"Because his argument made sense to me," he says but doesn't elaborate.

"Explain yourself," Jack says with an exasperated sigh.

"Porter and I have been friends since I came to Candor. When he asked me to meet, even though I knew it was against the rules and not a good idea, I went anyway. I wanted to hear what he had to say. He is beside himself with grief over Peter's death. He knows that Tris didn't physically kill his son but he holds her accountable for his death nonetheless and for every day he's been locked up in that cell heartbroken, he wants Tris to suffer twice as much. I didn't see anything wrong with that. She could use a little humility."

" _Ass_ ," I mutter under my breath, then I sigh and shake my head. I'm tired of lunatics. I just want to gather up my family and move to the Amity farm and leave all this shit behind.

"What exactly did Porter ask you to do for him?" he asks.

"He asked me to be the go between for him and Molly, which is exactly what I did," Niles says. "He knew she would do anything to avenge Peter's death."

"Did he ask you to do anything else?"

"No," he says.

"Did Molly ask you to do anything for her?" Jack asks.

"She asked me to let her friend, Lauren, hide in my office. I had no problem with it so I gave her a spare key so her friend could come and go as she pleased. I also called the guards off the Abnegation holding room when Ethan Black was a prisoner. I didn't know she was going to kill anyone though."

"Did anyone else ask you to do anything that had to do with Porter's plan or their own plan against either Four or Tris Prior?" he asks.

"No," Niles says. Jack turns and looks at Tobias then must ask a question because I see him shake his head.

"Niles, what's your greatest regret?"

"Picking up the phone the day Porter called. I knew better than to do anything he asked but I let my hatred for one insignificant girl ruin my life." It amazes me how he views me. If I didn't have better self-esteem, I would probably curl up in a ball and sob right here in the middle of the auditorium. The thanks of the Candor crowd echoes throughout the chamber, and I watch Tobias make his way to me.

"That really was anticlimactic," I say. "He doesn't _like_ me so he helps kill three people. That is absurd."

"Yeah, it is, love," he says. "Some people are idiots." I turn in my seat, remembering Will's gasp earlier and find his color has returned.

"Why did you react that way to his sibling's names?" I ask.

"His sister is my mother's best friend," he says.

"Jack," I yell and he comes over to us. "You need to ask Niles if his sister has anything to do with serums before he's led out of here."

"Hold up," he shouts, stopping Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo in their tracks. "Niles, what does your sister do at Erudite?"

"She's a research scientist," he says.

"In what department?"

"In medical and serum research."

"Does Porter know this?" Tobias asks.

"Yes." I can tell he doesn't want to answer.

"Did Porter give your sister's name to Molly to get her into Erudite?" I ask. When he hears my voice he literally growls, which causes a gasp to echo throughout the room.

"We'll have quiet," Tobias shouts. "Answer the question."

After struggling in vain against the serum for more than two minutes, sweat beading on his forehead and upper lip from the exertion, he says, "Yes."

"Caleb," I say. He already has his phone out.

"I read your mind, sis," he says then steps away to make the call.

"Take him away," I say.

"How did you know about the sister?" Jack asks.

"She's my mother's best friend," Will says.

"Can we take a bit of a break?" I ask. "I need to use the facilities."

"I'll take you," Christina says.

"I can go with you," Tobias says, sitting down beside me.

"I doubt Four would be welcome in the ladies' restroom," I say. I lean over to him, and he gives me a tender kiss. "Christina and I will be right back."

"Take your time," Jack says. "We'll start when you get back." Christina pushes my wheelchair past the stage and out the stage exit, down the dimly lit hallway, and into the ladies room.

"Thank you," I say as I hobble out of the chair and into the stall.

"That was one hell of a story Lauren told, wasn't it?" Christina asks from her own stall. "It's hard to imagine."

"I know. I can't even fathom abandoning a child the way she did." I hear her toilet flush then seconds later the faucet turn on. "I'd never be able to live with myself. I don't condone her helping Molly but I think I understand it more. I would never want a secret like that coming out either." A muffled thud draws my attention just as I flush my toilet. "Hey, are you okay out there?"

"Mm-hm."

"I think I'm disappointed in Niles explanation of why he did what he did," I say as I pull my pants up achingly slowly, being careful of my hip wound. "Hating someone shouldn't be an excuse for murder. Do you think we have time to go to the infirmary and get some pain medicine? What Isobel gave me earlier wore off." I open the stall door and shuffle out into the bathroom, watching where I'm walking. I would hate to trip. I look up expecting a friendly face but instead all the air goes out of my chest. "Molly."


	105. Chapter 105

"What the hell are you doing here?" I ask, my voice deceptively calm, steady, and strong as I look at Molly who is wearing a smirk on her unattractive face. As casually as I can, I glance down at her hands, which are both visible by her side and, thankfully, free of any weapons. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Christina lying in a heap on the floor, blood spilling out from her mass of dark curls. I make a move to see if she's alright but Molly tsks me and when I raise my eyes to hers, she shakes her head. The look on her face says stop, so I do. No need to antagonize her right off the bat. "What did you _do_ to her?"

"Oh, she didn't do anything," comes from behind me and a new fear envelopes me. I know I'm in real trouble now. I turn and glare at Olivia who is sitting in my wheelchair dressed head to toe in Dauntless gear, her red hair pulled away from her smug face. She's turning the same knife that stabbed me just days earlier over and over between her fingers, her head cocked to one side with an evil smirk on her face. It reminds me of when I was in the garage staring her down, although I don't know if I'm remembering real life or the simulation. Adrenaline-spiked blood courses through my veins, and I forget the pain that was ravaging my body just seconds ago. I shift so my back is against the closed stall door and pray that they don't spring another person on me I don't know about.

"Did you come to turn yourselves in?" I ask. "That would be the best thing either of you could do. Olivia," _God, I hate the taste of her name on my tongue_ , "you haven't killed anyone. If you turn yourself in, you could make it out of this with your life."

"The only life I want is with Four," she says, a faraway dreamy look in her eyes. "When we're done with you, he'll be all mine." _Keep dreaming psycho bitch._

"You honestly think he would want you if you hurt me?" I ask. "He. Loves. _Me._ Not. You."

"Leave her alone, _Stiff_ ," Molly says with a chuckle. I wish I could see the humor in this situation. "She lives in her own little fantasy world but she comes in handy once in a while. She does what she's told and doesn't ask any questions." She pushes off the sink, standing a little straighter and crosses her arms across her chest. A flash of steel draws my attention, and my already thundering heart picks up speed. There on the vanity top right beside her lays a gun. I don't know why I didn't see it before. She must have had it hidden behind her, giving me a false sense of security. Who am I kidding? I haven't felt safe or secure since I exited that stall.

"You never answered me," I say. "What are you doing here? How did you get into the compound this time?"

"We came to watch the interrogations," she says. "In case you missed it, your doors are standing wide open today. We just had to keep our heads down and walk right in with everyone else."

"I guess we're letting any ol' riffraff just walk right in off the street," I mutter. Someone's head is going to roll for this. "You know, Molly, whatever it is you have planned, just get on with it. I'm tired of fighting with you."

"Well, since Porter was arrested, I thought I would change the game." Of course, she _would_ think of this as a game. She's just as psycho as her redheaded friend. "I'll make it easy for you, _Stiff_." She holds up a syringe and I cringe. "I want you to confess all your sins, and I'll end this. No one else will get hurt … except for you that is. Refuse and we'll continue with Porter's plan as is. Who knows who else will die? Maybe we'll start with your little best friend right there." She points at Christina who just happens to moan at the same time. _Thank God she's alive_. Maybe she's not hurt as badly as I thought.

"What is that?" I ask, nodding at her hand.

"Truth serum," she says.

"Just truth serum?"

"Yeah," she says. "No more hybrids. They obviously don't work on you anyway or you wouldn't be here right now."

"What was your worse fear?" Olivia asks. "Was it Four with me?" I look at her for a second then roll my eyes. I contemplate what Molly is asking of me. I know I can fight the truth serum but can I fight it right from the beginning? Then an idea pops into my mind. _Can I do this? Would it work?_

"You want the violence to end, right?" Molly asks, egging me on.

"Of course! It's what I want more than anything." Just not at my expense. I want this over and her gone but I also want my life to continue. I can't stand the thought of leaving Tobias or the kids. If she has her way though, I won't be leaving this bathroom.

"If I'm to be put under truth serum, I want it done in front of everybody," I say, fixing my eyes on Molly. She looks at me like I'm crazy. "I'll make you a deal. Put your gun on me and walk me into the auditorium. Have Jack put me under truth serum and give me a proper interrogation. It isn't as easy as you think to get the answers you're seeking from someone under truth serum. You have to ask the right questions. After all is said and done, if you still think I cheated during initiation, started dating Four while he was our instructor, and got Peter killed, you can execute me in front of everyone."

"Four won't let that happen," she says.

"Yes, he will," I say. "If you are holding me at gunpoint, he won't have a choice but to cooperate. But if I'm innocent, you both have to turn yourselves in. What do you say, Molly?"

"Fine," she says with a smirk after thinking about it long and hard. She must think that the interrogation will prove me guilty to agree to this. She picks up the gun off the vanity and grabs me by the arm. "Come on, Olivia. I'm going to need your help." Molly sticks the gun in my side then drags me to the doorway and looks out. It must be clear because she pulls me out into the hallway. Pain rockets through my body with each step. The feel of the gun poking me in my ribcage is not as nerve-racking as having the psycho bitch who wants my husband and already has a taste for my blood behind me with a knife. I feel as if she might end this with a quick stab or two then I'd never see my love again. Heads turn as I walk through the rear stage door into the auditorium. When my eyes meet Tobias' I first see happiness then confusion and finally horror when he sees the gun Molly has pressed into my side practically an inch. He immediately jumps to his feet.

"Everyone calm down," I yell when the place erupts in chaos and, surprisingly, everyone goes quiet. "Jack, I need you to put me under truth serum and interrogate me. If I'm innocent of Molly's charges, she and Olivia are going to turn themselves in." I stop and take a deep breath. "If I'm guilty, I'll be executed in front of everyone." I hear my father's gasp, and I'm relieved that my mother is upstairs with Peanut right now. Molly and Olivia carefully drag me up the stage stairs and drop me into the chair, making sure their backs are never to the crowd. I can feel my pulse pounding against the razor-sharp blade of the knife the bitch now has resting against my throat. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Molly looking out at the crowd.

"I know what you're thinking, Four," she says, "but if you make a move, your precious Tris is dead. Olivia obviously won't hesitate." I curl my hands up into fists and feel the throbbing pain from where she stabbed me on Sunday. I look at Tobias trying to convey that everything will be okay as long as everyone stays calm.

"Where's Christina?" Will yells out, his face white as a sheet.

"We left her in the bathroom," Molly says. He starts to get up and she points her gun directly at him. "Sit, Will." He lowers himself back in his chair, never taking his glare off of her. "Good boy. If anyone moves, Tris dies. If I see a weapon, Tris dies. I know that any one of you armed Dauntless members could easily take me out but know this, Tris … will … die. So, Four, what are your orders for your members?"

"Everyone stand down," he shouts, his Four mask firmly in place.

"Jack, I need you up here," she says, summoning him with the gun. I watch as he walks across the auditorium and up the stage stairs, his face blank. "Get started." He comes to my side and picks up an alcohol swab off the table. I expect him to hand it to me but instead he rips it open.

"Are you alright, Tris?" he quietly asks as he wipes off the left side of my neck.

"Yeah," I say.

"Shut up," Molly spits.

"I need to know what the accusations are so I can ask the correct questions," he says. "You may write them down."

"Nice try," she says. "I'll just tell you. Here are my allegations." I stare at Tobias as she lists her grievances. I've heard them so many times before, I don't need to hear them again.

"I love you," I mouth.

"Me, too," he mouths back still wearing his Four mask. I know he's concerned but he also knows that I will fight with every ounce of strength to come home to him, Tyler, Tessa, and Teagan tonight.

"I'm sorry," I mouth. He closes his eyes and excruciating pain flashes across his face until his mask falls back in place. Without warning, a syringe is jammed into my neck, making me cringe, and truth serum is administered into my system for the second time in my life. Within seconds I feel its effects, and it's so hard to concentrate.

"Please state your full name for the record," Jack says.

"Beatrice Grace Prior-Eaton." My full name slips out of my mouth before I even think about it, which is odd. I usually think before answering a question even if it's as routine as my name. I have so many names now, Beatrice, Tris, Six, Love, Mom.

"How old are you?" he asks, interrupting my runaway train of thought.

"17," I immediately answer.

"What are your parents' names?"

"Andrew and Natalie Prior." I smile thinking about Mom and Dad then blink back the confusion. _Why am I answering these questions again?_ I think I had a plan but what was it?

"Do you have any siblings?" Jack asks.

"Yes, one, Caleb Prior," I say.

"Are you married?" he asks.

"Yes, I am." I smile goofily thinking about Tobias, and I hear someone scoff. _Who is that?_

"Who are you married to?"

"Four," I say, a smile turning up my lips again. _God, I love him._ I look around. Where's he at?

"What's Four's real name?" Molly asks and I scowl. Why is that bitch here? Suddenly a burning pain moves through my body, and I remember what I'm doing. I'm trying to save my friends from total destruction at the hands of this lunatic.

"Tobias Eaton," I say. Too many people know his true identity now. I need to save the burning pain for later when I have to lie.

"Do you have any children?" Jack asks.

"Yes, I have three."

"What are their names?" he asks.

"Tyler Aaron, Tessa Beatrice, and Teagan Grace," I say.

"What is your born faction?"

"Abnegation." I hear melancholy in my voice at the mention of where I grew up. I wonder if anyone else can hear it.

"What faction did you choose?" This has always seemed like such a silly question.

"Dauntless," I say, a chuckle escaping.

"Which faction are you loyal to?" Jack asks.

"Dauntless."

"I have some questions for you pertaining to last year's initiation when you were an initiate and Four was your instructor," he says. Here we go! I remember why I did this here in front of everyone and not in the bathroom … to give me time so I can lie. I have to beat the serum or this definitely will be my last day on earth. "When did you first meet Four?" This could be a trick question.

"When he pulled me out of the net on Choosing Day," I say. Technically not a lie. It's when I met _Four_.

"Had you ever met him or seen him before that day?"

"Yes, I had. I was at his mother's funeral when we were children. He was 9, and I was 7."

"Would you say you had a relationship with him before you joined Dauntless?" he asks.

"No," I say, shaking my head. "I really only knew his name because he was Marcus' son." _Oh, shit!_ Slow down, Tris. _Think before you speak._

"When did you learn his true identity?" I take deep, measured breaths that hopefully aren't too obvious and concentrate on not answering too quickly.

"Two days before initiation ended."

"How did he tell you who he was?" Jack asks.

"He let me into his head." I expect fire for the half-truth but am pleasantly surprised when it's absent. That must be enough of a truth to keep the searing pain at bay.

"How did he let you into his head?" he asks.

"He let me in his fear landscape," I say after a moment. I think I hear a gasp but I'm not sure then I think really hard. Did I just say something wrong?

"You weren't dating but he took you into his fear landscape?" Molly scoffs.

"How many times do I have to tell you this? Yes, he took me into his fear landscape. No, we weren't dating during initiation, we were falling in love." _Ooh! Did I just say that?_ That might be bad. "We told each other how we felt _two_ _days_ before the end of initiation but we couldn't act on it. He knew how others would react … people like Peter, Drew, Eric, and you so he kept me at arm's length until after the rankings were announced. He wanted to wait even longer but I couldn't wait one more second so I let the whole compound know exactly how I felt about him when I kissed him in the middle of the cafeteria. _That's_ when we started dating." Burning pain blankets my body, and I breathe through the excruciating pain.

"Can't we just kill her already?" Olivia whines. "This isn't any fun." _Holy shit!_ I forgot the psycho redhead was here, and I forgot about the knife pressed up against my throat.

"Olivia, you'll get your chance with Four, I promise," Molly sighs. "Have some patience please. We have to allow the _Stiff_ time to confess more sins."

"Alright, let's get this back on track," Jack says. "Tris, when did you and Four start dating?" _How many times do I have to answer this question?_

"The day the rankings were announced," I say.

"What was your ranking?" he asks. Oh, good! A question I can answer honestly.

"First." The pain diminishes marginally.

"Did you earn that placement in any way because of Four?"

"Absolutely not!" I say. "I earned my rank 100% on my own."

"Damn it! I know you cheated. How the hell are you lying?" Molly spits. "No one gets through those damn simulations as fast as you did. Your _boyfriend_ had to have been helping you. Admit it." Even though it's not a question I decide to answer.

"Four was not my boyfriend. _I_ didn't cheat. _Four_ didn't cheat. There. Is. No. Way. To. _Cheat_ ," I say, losing my temper. I roll my eyes up to the ceiling, and take a deep breath but it does nothing to calm my anxiety. I know I need to slow down or something damning could fly out of my mouth. "When I was under the simulations, I came out of them thinking it had been hours instead of only minutes. I don't know why I got through them so fast. Four couldn't explain it to me either." I search for her face. I think she's glaring but I can't quite make out her features. "I know you don't believe me and nothing I can say will ever make you believe me so _why_ are we having this discussion … _again_?" Did I just make it through without telling her I'm Divergent? That definitely would have signed my death sentence, if not from her from the city.

"You're right. I don't believe you," she spits.

"Are you going to let me finish this interrogation?" Jack asks.

"Yes," I say and he chuckles.

"That one wasn't for you, Tris," he says. "That was for Molly." I hear the crowd gasp but I don't know what's going on.

"I think I'll finish," she says. "Let's see, you slept with Peter then had him killed. Isn't that right?" Blood begins to boil in my veins at the characterization, replacing the agonizing pain. I know I can answer this question truthfully, not that I really want to reveal my darkest hour to a roomful of strangers.

"No, it isn't. _First_ of all, that piece of shit _raped_ me, I didn't _sleep_ with him. He kidnapped me, he made me forget my family, he made me think I was someone I'm not, and then he _violated_ me. You are a woman, how can you know what he did to me and have it be okay in your eyes or my fault?" A single tear slides unrestricted down my cheek. "Second of all, I had nothing to do with him dying. Maria ordered his death because he outlived his usefulness to her. How is that _my_ fault? Explain that to me." My chest is heaving with raw emotion.

"If he hadn't been arrested for kidnapping you, he wouldn't have been in that cell, vulnerable to an attack by her people. Have you ever thought of that?"

"Maybe you should think of it this way, if he hadn't given his assistance to a disturbed woman with a vendetta against my husband, he wouldn't have been killed by her," I say. "Peter wasn't the saint you or Porter make him out to be, and I think you know that but instead of placing the blame directly where it should lie, with Peter, you blame me. You want me to confess to you, fine, but why don't you confess to me. Why was Pete so damn important to you?" She steps forward so I can clearly see her face. She stares at me with an ominous look, and I wonder if I've pushed her too far.

"I know on every level that it was wrong, but I was in love with Peter," she says. I vaguely remember someone predicting that. I laughed it off then, especially after learning that they are cousins but I guess I was wrong. "I would have given anything to have him look at me the way he looked at you, talk to me the way he talked about you. I don't know why I couldn't turn his head."

"He was rude, hateful, and disrespectful to me. He was extremely violent. He put his hands on my when I begged him not to. He ripped my clothes off even as I cried out and he told me what he was going to do." I shudder at the memory of the vile attack in the training room. "He tried to kill my unborn child by kicking me in the stomach … twice. You wanted him to do those things to you?"

"He never did those things," she spits.

"Why would I make that up?" I yell back. "If you don't believe me just ask my friend, Zeke. He saved me from Peter that day."

"I know what you're talking about. That's when Four's friend caught you two flirting and he beat Peter up." My mouth falls open hearing what he told her but I feel no pain, probably because there has been no question posed to me for quite some time. I realize we're just having a screaming match. "Everyone protects you and Four. Well, I've had enough." My heart leaps into my throat when I feel her place the gun against my head.

"You don't need to do that, Molly," I say. I hear uncharacteristic pleading in my voice. I don't want to leave my husband and kids.

"The hell I don't," she says.

"Goody! It's time," Olivia jubilantly says, removing the knife from the throat. I think she moves away but I can't be sure. I know I can't fight. Not in this condition. I can barely lift my hands off my lap where they're resting. All I have left is my ability to lie under the debilitating serum.

"You don't want to do this," I say. Her look goes from menacing to amused.

"Well, you're wrong about that, _Stiff_ ," she says with an ugly smile on her face. "I've dreamed of this day since you put me in the infirmary during initiation."

"You're going to kill me for beating you during a practice fight?" I scoff. "Under that logic I _should_ have killed Peter myself."

"God, you're such a smartass," she says. "I was told that if Four hadn't pulled you off of me when he did, you'd have killed me." Sometimes I wish I would have killed her. "You made me look like a fool."

"Like you need help with that," slips out of my mouth and she glares at me. Oops.

"Then to top it all off, because you beat me your little friend who is lying on the bathroom floor moved higher than me in the ranking, and she stopped our fight because she couldn't handle me. That wasn't fair."

"Life isn't fair, Molly," I say.

"You're right," she says.

"If you shoot me, you'll never make it out of here."

"I'm fine with that," she says. I hear her slide the bullet into the chamber, and I close my eyes. I picture Tobias' handsome face smiling at me, our laughing son on his shoulders. I see my sweet girls who are too young to remember who their Mommy was. Tears slide unrestricted down my cheeks. I thought this was a good plan. I guess I was wrong. Just before she can fire, the gun is, thankfully, ripped away from my head. I hear shouting and screaming and blows landing. I hear grunts, groans, and whimpers. But I see nothing because of the veil of tears blocking my sight. One second I'm sitting on the stage and the next I'm being dragged into arms that I would know anywhere. I cling to Tobias with all my might and his embrace is crushing but I don't mind.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"No," I automatically say. "Um. I don't know why I said that."

"I do. It's the truth," he says. "Are you hurt?"

"No more than I was but Christina's hurt in the bathroom," I say. "Someone needs to check on her."

"I'm right here, Tris," she says. I turn my head toward her voice but don't see her.

"I thought you were dead," I say. "That insane bitch tried to kill you. I'd like to kill her."

"Love, watch what you're saying. Truth serum, remember?"

"No, I actually forgot again," I say. "It's really hard to keep up the…" I start to say lying but Tobias' mouth lands on mine in a need-filled kiss, and I forget everything else. We move our lips together possessively, intimately. He runs his tongue across my bottom lip and then thrusts it into my mouth. I greet him eagerly with mine, trying to devour him. When he releases me, I'm panting heavily. "God, you are such a good kisser. I'd really like to take you to bed right now." _Did I say that out loud?_

"Jack, please tell me you have an antidote for this serum before I have to lock her away until it wears off?"

"I said that out loud, didn't I?"

"Yeah," Caleb says, sounding amused.

"Oh, God," I mutter. "What happened? I'm _so_ confused and my head hurts. To… Four, did you kiss me to shut me up?" He wraps his arms around me, and I think he's going to kiss me again, which I'd be fine with but instead he just holds me tightly to his chest and puts his mouth against my ear.

"Please be quiet, Tris," he quietly says. "You're spouting off truths left and right. If you say too much, there could be trouble. Can you do that for me? We'll talk about what happened when you are lucid."

"I'm so sorry," I murmur. "I'll try but I'm not sure when I'm thinking and when I'm talking. I love you."

"I love you, too."

"You are in luck," Jack says. "I have one antidote."

"Thank God."

"Don't you want to ask me the regret question?" I ask. I think I hear Tobias growl but I'm probably imagining it.

"Do you want to answer more questions?" Jack asks.

"No," I spit. I feel a stick on the left side of my neck and my head starts to clear and my eyes focus.

"Feeling better, Tris?" he asks.

"Yeah," I say although it's not really true. "What happened? Where are Molly and Olivia?"

"In the holding cell," Tobias says. "I should get you back to your room. You need your rest."

"We can postpone Porter's interrogation for a day or two," Jack says.

"No," I say. "I want the interrogations finished up today. If anyone else is arrested for helping them, you can deal with them Jack. I want to hear Porter, Molly, and Olivia's reasons then I want to forget they ever existed."

"Beatrice Grace Prior, you need to rest," Tobias says.

"I want them prepped and ready in 10 minutes, Jack," I say. He looks at my husband for approval, and Tobias finally nods.

"Alright," he says. "We'll start with Olivia, then move on to Molly, and finish with Porter."

"That sounds great," I say. "Four will have some questions I imagine."

"Definitely," he says. "I'll send for more truth serum."

"I need to talk to you in private," Tobias says as he wheels me out of the auditorium. Unfortunately he doesn't sound very happy with me. Within a minute we're in my room in the infirmary. He parks me just inside the door and pulls a chair up in front of me.

"What the hell were you thinking?" he asks, his voice deceptively calm. I reach out and take his hand.

"She wanted to change the 'game' as she called it," I say. "She was going to give me truth serum no matter where it happened. I thought if Jack could do an actual interrogation it would give me time to get my bearings. If she'd have started asking the important questions immediately," I shudder at the thought, "you would have found a body in the bathroom. I hoped it could end peacefully. What happened anyway? It was so confusing. I know she was getting ready to pull the trigger." He leans forward and wraps his arms around me again.

"Christina, Simon, and Tony are what happened," he says. "They snuck up on stage and tackled Molly to the floor. Three other Dauntless patrol members grabbed Olivia. They both fought like hell but it was a reasonably peaceful resolution."

"Did I really tell you I wanted to take you to bed in front of my brother?" I ask.

"It gets worse," he smirks. "Your father was right beside him."

"Oh, dear God," I say, burying my head in his shoulder. "I'll never be able to look him in the eye ever again but it's your fault."

"My fault? I was just trying to get you to stop talking. You nearly blurt out how hard it was to lie."

"I kind of remember that," I say. "But that wasn't just a little peck. That was an I want you and I want you now kiss."

"I do," he says after a fashion. "I just watched my wife with a knife at her throat and then a gun to her head. I needed to know you were okay. Are you okay?"

"I'll let you know after we have all the answers," I say. I pull back and look in his weary eyes. "I love you, Tobias Eaton. I'm sorry I put myself in danger today but she promised to quit hurting people if I played. I never want to leave you but I would sacrifice myself if it meant keeping you, Tyler, Tessa, Teagan, and all our friends safe."

"I know," he says with a sigh, "and I can't fault you for that because I would have done the same thing in your shoes.

"We need to get back but I need some pain medicine," I say.

"I'll get Isobel." He kisses my forehead and heads out into the hallway. A minute later, he comes back with two tablets and a paper cup of water. "Here you go. It's a little stronger than acetaminophen but won't put you to sleep and is safe for Tessa and Peanut." I take the drugs and down them with the mouthful of water. "By the way, I love you, too. More than my own life."


	106. Chapter 106

Tobias leans over and presses his lips to mine in a reverential kiss full of love and affection then wheels me back to the auditorium just in time to see the redheaded psychopath being dragged up on stage.

"You're going to let them do this to me, Tobias?" she yells and my irritation level grows.

"Jack, she's mentally disturbed. If she thinks the things she says are true, will she be able to lie?" I ask.

"It's possible depending on how deep her delusions are," he says.

"That's what I'm afraid of," I say.

"If I have to, I can go under truth serum myself to set the record straight," Tobias says.

"Okay, let's get this started," Jack says. Tobias wheels me over by Dad and Caleb then joins him on stage.

"At Tris' request, the interrogations will continue today," he says as Jack readies the bitch for the serum. "Olivia Nelson, factionless, will be first followed by Molly Atwood, factionless, and finally Porter Hayes, Candor prisoner. The interrogations will be held in quick succession. You may attend one or all. There will only be a short recess between interviews and no lunch break. Once the interview is underway, we want no interruptions. Jack, are you ready?"

"I am," he says as he injects the light blue serum into the prisoner. Within seconds she wilts in the chair and Jack goes through the routine questions then he starts in on the relevant ones. "Why did Ethan Black ask you to try and break up Four and Tris Prior?"

"He wanted his children back, and he thought if _Tobias_ and _Beatrice_ separated the courts would award him custody."

"Why were you willing to help him?" he asks.

"He was my uncle," the bitch says. "You do things to help family."

"What things did you do to try and break up their marriage?"

"I faked some photos of me and Tobias in compromising positions but _she_ wasn't convinced," she spits. "I snuck into their apartment and played little pranks, hoping to get them arguing but I'm not sure they even noticed. I told everyone I was having sex with Tobias. I tried to talk a few guys into spreading rumors that Beatrice was unfaithful but they were scared of Tobias." God, I wish she'd stop saying his name.

"First of all, who helped you with the photos?" Tobias asks. Her body visibly trembles as she tries not to answer.

"Grant and Sam."

"Simon, Tony, have Grant Clark arrested," he says and they take off through the door. Unfortunately, Sam got the death penalty. "Why did they help you?"

"Sami owed me a favor," she says, "and Grant would have done anything I asked. I let him have sex with me." I look at her father and idly wonder how many people in this room know she's his daughter. He must be _so_ proud.

"It's nice to know you whored yourself out," Tobias mutters.

"Four, let's keep this civilized," Jack says.

"You're right. I'm sorry," he says then turns back to the confused redhead in the chair. "Did we ever have sex, Olivia?" Once again she rallies against the serum, not wanting to answer.

"No," she says. "But I really want to. I love you, Tobias. We could have a good life. I'll even consider helping you raise your brats."

" _Enough_ ," he roars, his voice bouncing off the walls and ceiling of the crowded room. "You may finish with this piece of trash, Jack." I think he's going to come sit next to me but instead he exits the stage door, needing some time to pull himself together.

"Did you have a hand in killing anyone?" Jack asks.

"No."

"Did you stab Tris multiple times in the Dauntless garage on Sunday, October 9?" he asks.

"Yes," she says.

"Were you acting under anyone's orders when you stabbed her?"

"Nope. I wanted her dead. Still do," she says.

"If Molly, Drew, Porter, or anyone else had asked you to kill for them, would you have?" Jack asks.

"Only if they had asked me to kill _her_. I would have killed Beatrice, no one else."

"A couple more questions? Are you in love with Four?"

"Yes."

"Do you think he's in love with you?"

"No, but if he'd just give me a chance he would love me. I know it. I'm very loveable."

"If you were to go free in the future, would you pursue Four?"

"Yes."

"Did anyone you not mention help Molly with her plan to hurt Tris and her friends?"

"Drew, Porter, and Lauren."

"My final question for you is what is your biggest regret?"

"That I didn't try harder to get Tobias to notice me," she says and I can't help but shake my head and roll my eyes. The Candor crowd half-assedly thanks her for her candor then two Dauntless guards I recognize but don't know drag her out of the chair, down the stairs, and out the stage door.

"How are you doing, Beatrice?" Dad asks.

"I'm fine," I say. "I think I'm a bit overwhelmed by all the information we're learning though. Do either of you know anything about Christina?"

"She's resting in the infirmary," Tobias says. When I turn and see him standing there, I give him a smile, which he returns. "I'm sorry you had to see me lose my temper, Andrew, Caleb. That doesn't happen often but I'm tired of that girl calling my children names."

"I don't blame you, Four," Dad says. "You'll never outgrow protecting them."

"Is Christina going to be okay?" I ask, still wondering about my best friend and hero. I owe her so much.

"Yeah," Tobias says. "She got a couple stitches, and they're watching for a concussion but they don't think she has one. She might not even have to stay in the infirmary overnight."

"That's great," I say. "I was so worried when I came out of the stall and found her lying on the floor."

"She was awake for most of your exchange," he says. "She was just waiting to make a move. She's a bit irritated that you made that deal with Molly, too."

"I think we all are," Dad says.

"I already explained to Four. I never ever want to leave any of you but I would sacrifice myself in an instant if it meant keeping all of you safe, and that's what she was offering."

"What you did was noble but reckless at the same time," my brother says.

" _Caleb_ ," Tobias growls but I put my hand on his arm.

"It's alright," I say then look at Dad and Caleb. "It was reckless but I would do it again if it meant saving you, Four, the kids, and my friends." A commotion draws our attention as the men who took the bitch away come back literally fighting with Molly. I actually see her sink her teeth into the fleshy part of one man's biceps and he cries out. I didn't know she could be so feisty. After a huge struggle, they get her into the chair and handcuff her to the arms. She's going to bruise herself if she doesn't stop yanking on them.

"I'm not answering any questions," she says. "You can't make me." Then she screams, sounding much like a feral animal. _This is going to be fun_.

"Actually we can," Jack says as he skips the preliminaries and just jabs the needle into her vein on the side of her neck. I'm surprised he didn't miss with how she's thrashing about. I watch her eyes as he injects the serum, and I see the instant it takes effect. She's very tame now. After Jack asks her the mundane opening questions, he hands the interrogation over to Tobias.

"I'm not going to take up a lot of time here because we all know what you did," Tobias says. "My first question is why, why help Porter target Tris?"

"I _hate_ her. I don't care that she told the truth and didn't cheat during initiation and didn't lie about dating you, she doesn't deserve all that she has. There's nothing special about her but she seems to live a charmed life. She placed first during initiation, she married you, she has three cute kids, she has _my_ dream job. The way I look at it, she is living the life that was meant for me."

"Are you jealous of Tris?" he asks.

"Yes," Molly immediately answers, confusion on her face.

"Do you think Porter was justified in setting the plan in motion that killed three people and injured two?"

"Yes, I do," she says. "He was devastated by Peter's death. A lot of us were." She sniffles and I see tears in her eyes. How anyone can cry over that monster, I will never know.

"He was upset over the death of his violent, rapist son so that justified killing innocent people?" Tobias scoffs.

" _Stop calling him that._ He would never do such horrible things."

"You think Tris lied under truth serum?" he asks. I hold my breath because technically I did lie but not about that.

"No." It obviously pains her to say it. I breathe a sigh of relief.

"You broke into Harrison's home and office, Tori's home and office, and my office. What exactly were you looking for?"

"I was gathering information on your friends," she says. "The more I knew the easier it was to anticipate their movements. Some files I accessed just to mess with your minds though. I would never have physically hurt your children. That wasn't part of the plan."

"Why did you target Harrison and Tori?" Tobias asks.

"To make your lives harder. Will should have died also but I obviously didn't hit him hard enough." She was the one who struck Will? I'm actually shocked.

"Are you the one who left the cryptic notes on our car at the Navy Pier and on Will's body?" he asks.

"Yes. I liked messing with you any chance I got. It was fun to watch." She really is a sick, twisted bitch.

"Did you have plans to hurt anyone else?"

"We had a long list of victims prepared," she says. "I actually was very close to bumping Ciara off the path one day but someone came out of a hallway and started walking with her, and I lost my chance." James wraps his arms tightly around his wife as she cradles her protruding stomach lovingly between her arms. She has a look of pure terror on her face learning how close she and their unborn baby came to losing their lives. Guilt rears her ugly head, and I feel horrible that such a good friend nearly lost his family because of someone's grudge against me. I return my focus to the stage and look at my own husband. I catch his eye and I see pain behind his steady gaze. This is hard on him, too.

"Molly, are there any other people who helped you with Porter's plan besides Drew, Lauren, and Olivia?" Tobias asks.

"Niles' sister Neva Hampton gave us formulas to some hybrid serums Jeanine created a few years ago and the code to the door near the serum vault in Erudite. She also gave us instructions on how to get in and take the serums we needed," she says. "Marty Turner helped us at Lauren's request come and go through the fence."

"Did anyone in Amity help you hide?" he asks.

"No, we just picked an abandoned building and hid there. We knew no one would look for us outside the fence."

"Why kidnap Tori?"

"That was Drew's doing," she says. "We interrogated her for hours but we didn't learn anything useful. She kept screaming and bawling because Drew killed her boyfriend. I kept telling her that injection was meant for her and he would have been fine if he hadn't interfered but she didn't see it that way. Just to shut her up we gave her the memory serum. It was funny. One second she's crying over the loss of the love of her life and the next she didn't even remember his name. I have to admit I was surprised. I thought for sure she would keep it together better in a crisis. You should look into a new leader to replace her, Four. She really isn't Dauntless material."

"Like I would take advice from you," he mutters but loud enough that I can hear. "Jack, I'm done with her." He marches off stage and sits down beside me. I rest my hand on his thigh and he picks it up and kisses it before lacing our fingers together and setting them back down. I see him physically relax at the touch. I guess I have the same effect on him.

"I have one question, Molly," Jack says. "What is your biggest regret?"

"Following Peter to Dauntless. If I'd never done that then I never would have heard the name _Tris Prior_ ," she says. "I would have been happy in Candor." What is it with these people making my name sound like the dirtiest word in the dictionary?

"Thank you for your Candor," rings out and I swear I see some Dauntless and Erudite members saying it, too. Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo uncuff her from the chair and drag her away. I rest my head on Tobias' shoulder and close my eyes. I swear I'll sleep for days after this. I'm exhausted.

"You don't have to stay," he says then kisses the top of my head.

"Yes, I do," I say. "This is the most important one. We may know everything already but there's the slight chance that he'll drop a bombshell. Personally, I hope it's the former because I don't think I can handle any new information."

"I just want to make sure 100%, without a doubt that Ruth has nothing to do with it."

"She doesn't," I confidently say then raise my head. I search the crowd for her. "I'm kind of surprised she's not here."

"She is," he says, pointing to the far end of the auditorium by the set of double doors. When our eyes meet she gives me a small smile.

"Has she been here the whole time?" I ask. He nods. "It must kill her to hear what he did."

"It kills a lot of people," Tobias says. I move my eyes to my father and brother. Neither of them knew details of my attack before.

"Why does my family keep hearing personal details through truth serums?" I mutter mainly to myself.

"Because my lunatic wife feels the need to save the world," he says. He moves his lips to mine and butterflies flutter in my tummy. I run my fingers down his face as the tender kiss ends. "I love you."

"I love you, too." A hush falls over the room and when I look up, Porter is being escorted in by Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo. He's wearing a hateful scowl that takes my breath away and sends my heart racing. He looks just like his son. I've never really notice a resemblance before but it's striking right now. When his eyes meet mine, I have to force myself not to move. His stare can only be described as evil and now a roomful of people have seen it. He doesn't fight, scream, or curse. He just walks up the steps and sits down in the chair. When he settles in, he starts searching the crowds like he's looking for someone. I know he found whoever he's looking for when his eyes narrow. I follow their line of sight directly to Ruth. Instead of the shrinking violet she's always been around him, she sits straight and holds his glare until he looks away. I'm very proud of her. Jack quickly prepares him for the interrogation then injects the serum into his neck.

"Four would you like to do the honors?" Jack asks.

"It would be my pleasure," he says then he lowers his voice and speaks only to me. "We almost have all our answers. Hang in there, love." He kisses my forehead then gets up and joins Jack on stage. "Please state your full name for the record."

"Porter William Hayes," he says with characteristic confusion on his face.

"What are your parents' names?"

"Philip and Agnes Hayes," Porter says.

"Which faction were you born into?" he asks.

"I was born into and chose Candor both."

"Are you married?" Tobias asks.

"No, I'm divorced," he says. Oh! That's news to me, although it makes perfect sense.

"How long have you been divorced?"

"About three months," Porter says.

"Who instigated the divorce?" he asks.

"My wife, _ex-wife,_ Ruth."

"Do you have any children?" Tobias asks.

"You damn well know I had a son you sonofabitch," he spits but Tobias only smiles.

"My mother wasn't perfect but I would like you to refrain from calling her names." A chuckle moves through the crowd, and I can tell Porter doesn't like being laughed at. "Tell me what you think happened to your son."

"He got mixed up with your whore of a wife," Porter says with a smirk, erasing the one off of Tobias' face. I swear I see his hands twitch in the bastard's direction but he controls himself. "He was murdered."

"Are you an active Candor member now?"

"No," he says after fighting with the serum for a moment.

"Why not?" Tobias asks.

"I am serving a 6-month jail sentence for aiding and abetting my son with Beatrice Prior's kidnapping then I'll be factionless," he says.

"What have you done these past four months while you've sat in jail?"

"Thought of ways to destroy you and your wife," Porter hisses. "There hasn't been one minute of one day that you haven't been on my mind. Why should you be out there in the city laughing it up with friends, making love, running a faction, and raising a family when my poor boy didn't even see his 18th birthday?"

"Please detail your plan to get even," he says.

"I contacted my niece, Molly. She was always close to Peter. I knew she would help me. I told her to enlist some friends, anyone who hated Beatrice as much as I did to help destroy her happy life. First, I wanted her career in shambles, and then I wanted her friends decimated. Finally, I wanted you and her torn apart … permanently. No happy ending for your whore." Tobias grabs him up by the throat and gets in his face.

"Stop calling her that," he spits. Jack, Purple-Hair, and Snake-Tattoo surround him.

"Four, put him down," Jack says.

"Yeah, you don't want to kill him," Purple-Hair says. Tobias releases his grip on his throat and he falls into his chair sputtering, spitting and trying to take air into his lungs. Jack puts his hand on Tobias' shoulder and he shrugs it off. He leans over and puts his face in Porter's, and I see him shrink back into his seat.

"I'm not going to rehash the details of Peter's attack on my wife. You know what he did to her because one, you helped him arrange to kidnapping and wedding and two, she gave you all the details of what he did. Instead of saying you're sorry and making amends you send an unstable girl who was in love with her very own cousin by the way and her band of unhinged misfits to terrorize Dauntless. Did you think she was lying to you?"

"No," Porter says. "I believed every word she said."

"And yet you still hold her accountable for the death of your son even though the perpetrators have been dealt with?" he asks.

"If he'd never have met her, he would still be here."

"I'm sick and tired of that fucking excuse," Tobias roars. The auditorium goes quiet. "It is not Tris' fault that she made one of the hardest decisions in her life and joined Dauntless the same year that Peter, Molly, Drew, and Al made the same choice. It's not her fault that she turned Peter's head. It's not her fault that they attacked her at the chasm and tried to kill her. It's not her fault that she's been the best initiate Dauntless has ever seen. It's sure as hell not her fault that your monster of a son kidnapped her, gave her memory serum, and then raped her. It's not her fault that he helped Maria and then got himself killed. And it's not her fault that you are in the situation you're in. You are a grown ass man who makes his own fucking decisions. _Own_ them. Don't blame others. It's not Tris' or Jack's or Ruth's fault. Be a _fucking_ man for just once in your life instead of a worthless piece of shit and own up to what you did." Holy shit! I wonder if he feels better now. He stomps down the stage stairs and plops down in the chair beside me. He leans forward and buries his face in his hands, and I drape my arm across his shoulder and kiss his arm.

"That was … wow," I whisper. He turns his head and looks at me. "You always look out for me."

"I meant every word," he says. I suddenly realize that the entire room is looking at us and I blush. I glance at Jack and motion for him to finish with the trash.

"Porter, please name every person who helped you with your plot against Tris," he says.

"Molly Atwood, Drew Boyd, Olivia Nelson, Niles Murphy, Neva Hampton, Lauren Jones, and some Dauntless fence worker whose name I don't recall."

"Did Ruth Hayes help you in any way with this plan?" Jack asks.

"No," he says. "She had no knowledge of my plan. She's innocent in all this."

"I have one final question. What is your biggest regret?"

"That my son died before me," Porter says. "No parent should outlive their child."

"Thank you for your Candor," the Candor members say. As Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo drag Porter off the stage, everyone starts clearing out of the auditorium.

"I can't believe this," I say. "It's over." Tobias wraps his arms around me and buries his face in my hair. He's still upset. I grip him tightly, wishing there was more I could do for him.

"It is over," he says. One hand trails up my back and into my hair, holding me tightly to him. It's like he doesn't ever want to let go, which I'm fine with.

"Mommy! Daddy!" I hear called and Tobias and I look toward our names. Tyler's standing beside my mom who has Tessa and Teagan in her arms.

"I better help your mom," Tobias says as he reluctantly lets me go. I hold my arms out to Tyler and he runs to me, dodging several members who are milling about. He climbs up onto my lap and gives me a hug.

"Hi, buddy," I say as I kiss his head. "What are you doing here?"

"Gwamma and me and Tess and Teags was going to have ice cweam," he says. "But we find out you done. Come with us. Peas! I want you to come. I miss you."

"I've missed you, too, but Mommy isn't feeling up to it," I say. "Maybe you can eat some ice cream for me." He sticks his lip out and pouts.

"What's that look for, Tyler?" Tobias asks coming up to me with a very happy Tessa in his arms. Peanut, on the other hand, looks distressed.

"Has she eaten?" I ask.

"Very little," Mom says.

"I want Mommy to come fo ice cweam. I miss hew," he says.

"What if we get ice cream and eat it in Mommy's room. She's really tired and needs her rest but I think she'd be up for that. What do you say, Mommy?"

"That sounds like an absolutely wonderful idea," I say. "That way I can feed your sister."

"She'll eat when she's ready, Beatrice," Mom says.

"I know but I hate seeing her so unhappy when I can fix her problem," I say.

"Tyler, why don't you come with me and your sister, and we'll get enough ice cream for everyone."

"Otay!" He will do anything for ice cream. He turns back to me and days, "I be wight back. Otay?"

"Okay," I say. He grabs ahold of his father's hand, and I watch them walk toward the exit. "I'll take her, Mom. Can you push me back to my room? I need to get back in bed." She gently places my beautiful girl in my arms. She coos a little and even smiles a couple times before she starts crying. "Are you hungry?" She nuzzles my breast and even tries to find my nipple through my shirt. I caress her cheek and she keeps turning her head toward it. "Do you have a diaper bag with you?"

"Yes," she says as Dad pushes my wheelchair back to the infirmary. "Would you like a blanket?"

"Please." After a minute she hands me a soft pink blanket and I toss it over my shoulder then free my breast from my shirt. Peanut latches onto my nipple easily and suckles hungrily. "Thanks, Mom. Not only for the blanket but for watching her all day. I hope she wasn't too much trouble."

"My grandchildren are never any trouble," she says with a happy smile. "I love them very much. It's one of my greatest pleasures. I didn't know it would be this way. I love every minute with them."

"They are pretty special," I say as I peek at Peanut. She smiles when she sees me then goes back to eating. The minute I get back to the infirmary, Isobel takes me from my parents and tells them she'll be right back then wheels me into a different room. It has a queen-size adjustable bed, a toddler bed, a baby bed big enough for two, a dresser, and a changing table. It also has a kitchenette, couch, TV, and what looks to be large bathroom.

"Surprise!" she says. "Your very own suite so your family can be together."

"Thank you," I say.

"I heard the interrogations were pretty rough," she says and I know what she's referring to, the constant mention of the rape.

"Yes, they were," I say. "Can I still call you if I need to talk?"

"Of course," she says. "Day or night, Tris. I'll go get your Mom and Dad and bring them in. I'm glad that psycho didn't hurt you."

"Can you tell me how Christina is?" I've been so wrapped up in myself that I forgot about her assault.

"She's tough," she says. "No permanent damage was done."

"I'm so relieved," I say. "I was worried when I came out of the stall and found her on the floor."

"She was lucky," she says before she leaves me alone with Peanut. I move the blanket and pull her away from my breast then put her to my shoulder and pat her back. She holds her head up strong and proud, not even a little wobble.

"You're getting so big," I say then kiss her cheek, eliciting a big toothless grin. "Are you happy that Mommy can take care of you a little? I'm happy about that." When Mom and Dad come through the door I'm surprised to find Tobias, Tyler, Tessa, and Caleb with them, also. "Hi."

"We stopped and got a couple pizzas," Tobias says. "We'll have the ice cream for dessert."

"Cheese and peppewoni," Tyler says. "It my favowite."

"I know."

"Look at this room, Pebbles," he says as he puts the ice cream in the small refrigerator-freezer. We all get to sleep together tonight." She kicks and squeals then sticks her tongue out and blows raspberries.

"You're silly."

"I think we should be getting back to Abnegation," my Dad says.

"I bought enough pizza for everyone," Tobias says. "Please stay."

"Alright." Tobias sits Tyler on the end of the bed while Mom, Dad, and Caleb pull chairs up around it. He sits the pizza boxes in my lap and opens them up. He takes a slice for Tyler and everyone digs in. We chat about everything under the sun, except for the interrogations. We laugh, joke, tease, and laugh some more. I can't remember a time when we were all together and everyone was this much at ease. After bowls of ice cream all around, Mom, Dad, and Caleb say their goodbyes. As much as I hate to see them go, I know they all need a good night's sleep in their own beds. Mom promises to come back tomorrow to help with the kids and after some minimal back and forth, we agree that we need the help, especially since Dauntless leadership is very shorthanded at the moment.

"What do you want to do tonight, Tyler?" I ask.

"Anything?" he asks.

"Anything that can be done in this room," Tobias says. He looks around and his eyes light up when he sees the TV.

"Can we watch movie?"

"That sounds like a great idea," I say. Tobias opens the cabinet holding the TV and DVD player and finds hundreds of titles. Tyler picks a couple since it's relatively early and hands them to Tobias then crawls up the side of the bed and snuggles into my left side. Tobias puts Tessa next to him after handing me Peanut then gets in beside Tyler. I don't get much out of the two animated films but I love every minute of it. Tyler laughs, which sets off Tessa's little giggles. They are more entertaining than any blockbuster.

"How are you?" Tobias asks once the kids are asleep, and we're alone. I'm cuddled up in his arms with my head lying on his bare chest.

"I have to be honest. All the talk of what Peter did has brought up a lot of feelings I thought I'd dealt with."

"I figured as much," he says as he plays with my hair.

"What I wouldn't give to make love right now," I murmur as I trace my name over his heart.

"I don't mind you screaming in pleasure. As a matter of fact I love it but you'd be crying out in pain and you know what that does to me."

"Instant mood killer," I say and he's right. I'm in no shape for sex and probably won't be for weeks. The thought depresses me. He tilts my chin back and gazes in my eyes.

"I nearly had a heart attack when Molly put that gun to your head. All I could think was I can't live without you. I've never been more thankful to see your best friend than this afternoon when she snuck on stage and grabbed her gun away. She saved your life. I owe her. I'll forever be in her debt."

"I have to remember to thank her," I say. "I was very confused at that time."

"I know," he chuckles. "You basically told your Dad and brother you wanted to take me to bed. I couldn't get you to shut up. For as comical as it was, it was terrifying also."

"I know. Once my mouth engaged, my brain shut off. I'm surprised I didn't say something that got us in trouble. I didn't, did I?"

"No," he says. "Although Jack gave me an odd look when you told the roomful of strangers that we fell in love during initiation."

"That slipped out," I say. "It's obviously the truth."

"Yes, it is." He kisses my head then sighs.

"We keep talking about me," I say. "How are you?"

"If I'm being honest…"

"I always want you to be honest," I interrupt.

"I don't really know yet," he says. "I have a lot of information to process and it's going to take some time."

"Believe me I understand. I can't believe it's over, Tobias," I say. "It is over, right?"

"Yes," he says. "We can both sleep easy tonight and things will be better tomorrow."

"And even better the day after that," I giggle.

"God, I love that sound," he says. He moves so we're looking in each other's eyes. "And I love you, Mrs. Eaton. I don't ever want to lose you. You are too precious to me. I can't breathe, I can't _think_ when you are hurt, sick, or in danger. I think part of me would like to lock you up in a tower someplace just like in that movie we watched tonight."

"I don't have to grow my hair that long do I?" I tease.

"No, you are absolutely perfect just the way you are," he says. We wrap our arms around each other and move our lips together until I groan. My body is really starting to let me know it's had a very long day. He carefully moves then presses the button alerting the nurse that I need assistance. Marlene comes in, and I tell her I'm finally ready for the dose of pain medication that she's tried to give me twice before. She just smiles then comes back with the largest needle I've seen and injects it into the IV port still in the back of my hand. Its effects are instantaneous. Not only do I feel pain relief but I also feel its sedating effects. I close my eyes and for the first time in months I don't think about who might hurt us tomorrow. I'm actually looking forward to making plans again.

"Baby," I mutter.

"Yeah, love?" he says, his lips against my ear.

"No more looking over our shoulders," I murmur. "I'm looking forward to tomorrow."

"I'm looking forward to _all_ our tomorrows."

"Love you _so_ much."

"Love you more," he says then kisses my lips as I fall into a peaceful sleep.


	107. Chapter 107

As I roll over and groan, my hand instinctively reaches out for Tobias only to find cold, empty sheets beside me. I lift my heavy head from my hot, flat pillow and squint trying to adjust my eyes to the surrounding darkness and look for my missing husband but he's nowhere to be found. I carefully listen to the baby monitor that's sitting on my nightstand thinking he may be checking on Tessa or Teagan but I only hear the steady breathing of their peaceful slumber. I roll back over and stretch my stiff, tired muscles then sit up. _Where are you, my love?_ Maybe Tyler woke him up and I didn't hear. I slip my legs over the edge of bed and slide my feet to the floor then make my way to my son's room.

I can't believe that it's Christmas Day already. Tyler is so eager for Santa Claus to come that he didn't want to go to bed last night. He was bouncing off the walls with excitement and anticipation. Tobias and I never thought he would go to sleep but fatigue soon won out, and we were able to get him down nearly an hour-and-a-half past his bedtime. This is, after all, his very first Christmas along with his sisters, so his father and I have tried to make the entire holiday season a memorable one for him. We decorated our entire apartment until it looked like a winter wonderland. We wrapped live greenery and twinkle lights around every stair railing; hung five large, matching red and white stockings each adorned with our names in a whimsical design from the fireplace mantle; and decorated a nearly seven foot Christmas tree that sits in the corner of our living room by the windows. I'll never forget the way his eyes lit up when we turned the multicolored twinkling lights on for the first time. I imagine they looked just like mine did last year. He was beyond mesmerized. I thought he was actually going to cry. He also helped me shop for the presents he's giving his daddy and sisters later this morning, and he even helped me wrap them. We baked sugar cookies for all our friends, which was quite an experience. After mixing them, rolling them, cutting out various shapes like trees and wreaths, and then frosting them, he was covered head to toe in a dusting of flour, sticky multicolored frostings, and red and green sprinkles. The minute we finished, he shoved two cookies in his mouth then begged to repeat the entire process again the very next day. I couldn't help but laugh at the sight and his exuberance. I tiptoe into his room and find him fast asleep in the middle of his big boy bed, a delighted expression on his face. I'm surprised he's sleeping so well.

Maybe Tobias is in the nursery after all, so I head back toward our bedroom and into the girls' room but it, too, is empty save Tessa and Teagan. I take a moment to check on my girls. I peer down at Tessa and a mixture of joy and heartbreak courses through me. She's growing _so_ fast. I can't believe that she's 9 months old already. She crawls all over the place, getting into _everything_ , and just two days ago, she pulled herself up to the couch and stood all by herself. I picked her up, holding her tightly against my chest and cried like a blubbering baby. She thought I was insane but gave me kisses to make me feel better and they did their job. I kiss my fingers and gently run them over her soft, dark curls then move to Teagan's crib. She's the exact opposite of Tessa with her blonde waves and dark blue eyes. She also looks like my mini-me while her sister is the spitting image of Tobias. But my little peanut isn't so little anymore. She's getting _so_ big. In the past two-and-a-half months she's caught up to where she should be if she hadn't been a preemie. I totally freaked out when she gained her birth weight last month but Zander told me she's perfectly healthy and actually still measuring small even though she doesn't look like it. I run my hand over her little head then head out of the room.

I descend the stairs wondering what has Tobias up in the middle of the night. I hope it's not my health. I would often find him pacing at the end of our bed, watching me sleep after I was finally released from the infirmary. Thankfully, he stopped doing that a couple weeks ago. I think he was worried I would take another turn for the worse. I was in the infirmary under close supervision by Zander for 12 additional days after the interrogations because I got a _nasty_ infection in my hip where _the_ _bitch_ stabbed me. One day we were discussing me going home, and the next I spiked nearly a 103 degree fever and felt like death warmed over. There were moments I thought I wasn't going to make it. It actually took longer for me to recover from the infection than the original injuries but I have completely recovered. He doesn't have to worry about me. When I step into the kitchen, I see that it, too, is empty and for the first time since waking, my anxiety level raises.

"Tobias? Where are you?" I quietly ask as I make my way into the empty living room. He pops up from behind the couch and scares me nearly half to death. I must jump a foot off the floor as I shriek. My hands fly to my cover my mouth as my heart starts pounding painfully against my ribs. "What the hell!"

"I'm so sorry, love," he remorsefully says as he gets up off the floor and comes to me. He takes me in his arms and wraps me in his embrace, and I rest my head against his chest as I cling to him. I feel his lips in my hair as my heart rate returns to normal.

"What are you doing?" I whisper. "Santa" already came right before we went to bed so I have no clue as to what he could be doing down here at this time of night.

"Making Santa footprints for Tyler," he says. I loosen my arms and rest my hands on his waist as I look up at him. I know my face is betraying the confusion I'm feeling.

"What?"

"Here, let me show you," he says. He releases me then takes my hand and leads me over by the front door. Since we have a gas fireplace and don't have a traditional chimney, we told Tyler that Santa has a magic key that allows him to enter every little boy and girl's homes. I notice a faint stain on the floor in the moonlight. I bend over and narrow my eyes to get a better look, and they finally come into focus … boot prints! They start at the door and go to the tree where the presents are sitting. "I went upstairs to our fire pit and got some ash." Although the temperatures fall overnight, it's been unseasonably warm, and we haven't had a single snowflake, which is odd for the city. "I put it in a tray, dipped an old pair of boots in it, and have been carefully putting the prints down." I reach up and caress his cheek then slide my fingers into his ruffled curls and pull his mouth to mine. I kiss him affectionately, tenderly. I run my tongue along his bottom lip, longing to deepen the kiss, and he hesitantly opens his mouth so I can slip my tongue between his lips and mate it with his. I know why he's being cautious.

The day before I was finally released from the infirmary, I had my postpartum appointment with Isobel and after a long discussion, I chose to have an IUD placed for birth control instead of repeating the shot. We love our children dearly but we aren't ready for another one and probably won't be for quite some time. But, unfortunately, we haven't gotten a chance to try out its efficacy yet because I haven't felt up to it. Because of that, we haven't been overly affectionate with one another. It would cause too much temptation and be too hard to stop. We thought the time after Teagan's birth was bad. It was nothing compared to this but I have an extra special present for him tonight though … me wrapped in a bow. I feel wonderful and have for the past few days, and I'm beyond ready. I know he is, too.

"You're such a wonderful father, Tobias Eaton," I say after I release him. "Tyler, Tessa, and Teagan are so lucky to have you." If I'm not mistaken, I see him blush at the compliment. "It's so thoughtful of you to do this for him. Where did you get the idea?"

"It's something Hana did for Zeke and Uriah when they were kids," he says. "She told me about it when she was over for dinner the other day. The idea stuck with me."

"When do you think you'll be done?"

"I have to go from the tree to the cookies and then back out the door," he says. "Why don't you go back to bed?"

"I'm not tired anymore," I say. "Is there something I can do to help you?"

"It's really a one person job," he says.

"How about I sit here and keep you company then?" I ask. "I'll never be able to get back to sleep without you."

"But you need your rest, love." He's always so worried about me.

"I need to be with you more," I say. "I think Tyler's excitement has rubbed off onto me."

"Alright," he says. "I won't be long then we can go back to bed." He kisses my temple as I sit down on the couch and put my feet up on the seat. I'm wondering what the day will bring when Tobias drapes the fuzzy gray throw over my lap.

"Thanks, baby," I say, smiling up at him. "That was sweet of you."

"I thought you could use it," he says. "Look out the window." My eyes slide to the wall of windows, and I can't believe the sight, it's snowing flakes almost as big as my head. "I guess we're going to have our white Christmas after all."

While Tobias finishes the soot footprints, I stare out the window wrapped head to toe in my fuzzy gray throw watching the first snowfall of the season. My mind drifts to that horrible night in the garage like it so often does when I'm left alone with my own thoughts. At the time, I didn't realize just how close Tobias and the kids came to losing me. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to relax and thank God that I'm still here. If Molly, Drew, and _the bitch_ had gotten their way, it would have been a very different outcome, one I can't bear to even speculate about.

It's hard to believe that it's been two-and-a-half months since I sat in the auditorium listening to Porter, Molly, Drew, and Lauren's truth serum interrogations not to mention being subjected to one myself. Sometimes it seems just like yesterday while other times it feels like years have passed. Porter was executed immediately since his plan directly resulted in the deaths of Sam, Harrison, and Frankie. Molly and Drew were executed soon after because they carried out his orders no questions asked. Lauren's punishment was a topic of intense debate, but when it came down to it, the fact that she was blackmailed into helping saved her life, although she didn't get off scot-free. She will sit in jail for five years and then live out the rest of her days with the factionless. I was actually overruled when it came to _the_ _bitch's_ punishment. Instead of being sentenced to jail time for her role in Porter's plan, she was involuntarily committed to the mental health institute at the city hospital. I guess I should be happy she's getting the help she so desperately needs but she could have killed me when she stabbed me that night in the garage. I still feel like she got off with only a slap on the wrist. Marty Turner, who turned his back on Dauntless so he could date Lauren, was made factionless for allowing Molly and her minions to leave the city, and Neva Hampton from Erudite was also made factionless for giving her access to their headquarters to get the ingredients used for the Frankenstein Serum. After talking to Grant about why he helped _the_ _bitch_ fabricate the photographs she used to try and break us up, Tobias and I put him on probation of sorts, and he was transferred to fence duty. If at any time over the next two years he does anything that either of us views as reckless or criminal, he's out on his ass. He will not get another chance. I was actually surprised when Tobias agreed with me on this issue. He was _pissed_ when those photos surfaced, as was I, but Grant seemed genuinely remorseful for what he did and I know the male of the species. They have the tendency to do their thinking with their little brain instead of their big one. I honestly believe that if she hadn't delivered sex he never would have done what she asked.

Thankfully, it's been quiet in the compound since that day. Tobias, Will, and I have made some staffing changes. Tori stepped down from leadership, which surprised us all but the memory serum that was given to her did more damage than first thought even though most of her memories have now returned. She is back to running the tattoo parlor full time and is content with her decision. I believe it's helping with her mourning. We still haven't made a final decision on who to ask to replace her and Harrison but we are narrowing down the candidates, who include Shauna and James among various others. We asked Callen to take over Lauren's job, which didn't go over very well with some of the older long-term programmers who thought someone of his age couldn't have enough experience but Tobias and I made it abundantly clear to everyone that his skill level made him more than qualified and age is just a number. He was extremely reluctant at first to take it and in fact turned us down flat at first but after talking it over with Avery, he took the position. We knew he would be a natural, and he hasn't let us down.

"Penny for your thoughts," Tobias says, pulling me from my reverie. I drag my eyes from the beautiful snowfall and take in the sight of my handsome husband who is leaning against the wall before me in nothing but a pair of black flannel sleep pants, looking better than any man has the right to.

"I'm just thinking about … things," I say with a warm smile for the man I love more than life itself.

"Do I need to ask what things?" he asks, concern on his face and I shake my head. He pushes himself off the wall and saunters over to me. "Are you okay?" He sits down on the couch beside me, and I cuddle up into his side as he wraps his arm around me.

"Yeah, I'm okay," I say. "I was just thinking how thankful I am that Porter's plan didn't work. I wouldn't want to miss any of this." He tightens his grip on me when I mention the man who tried to destroy our life.

"I'm still worried about you, love," he says then he kisses my temple. "I think you're doing too much. You really should be in bed right now. We had _such_ a long day yesterday with breakfast with our friends, the last minute Christmas shopping, lunch with your parents, and then the wedding. You should slow down." Last night we attended Caleb and Cara's intimate Christmas Eve wedding at the Crystal Gardens. It was a very simple, beautiful, romantic ceremony just the way they both wanted it. Christina did a wonderful job planning every detail after learning what it was they both wanted. Cara finally found the courage to tell her mother that she doesn't have to like or even agree with her choices but that she does have to respect them if she wants to be a part of her life. It took a couple weeks for her to come around. Will told me that what finally swayed her decision was wanting to know her future grandchildren. She was the picture of politeness all evening long, and I didn't get the urge to punch her in the face once!

"Did you have a nice time at the wedding this evening?" I ask.

"You're changing the subject," he says.

"Would I do that?" I ask as I look up at him.

"Yes. You would," he says. I can't argue with that. I want to forget about Porter, Molly, Drew, Lauren, and _the_ _bitch_. I don't like how thinking about them makes me feel. "But for the record, it was a nice ceremony and the reception was enjoyable. Christina could make a killing if she were to become a full-time wedding/party planner for the city. She's absolutely amazing at what she does but I happen to remember a much better wedding with the most beautiful bride there ever has been or ever will be. It was the greatest day of my life."

"Mine, too," I say, cuddling further into his side. "You were very handsome that day. Of course, you look good every day."

"Stop it," he says, feigning embarrassment. "You're making me blush." His eyes are sparkling with mischief and there's humor in his voice. "We should go to bed, love."

"I'm not tired," I say.

"Today is going to be another long day," he says. "Let's just go to bed … _please_."

"Okay," I say, giving in. We get up off the couch, and he surprises me by lifting me into his arms. "I can walk, you know."

"I know you can," he says, "but I like feeling useful."

"Useful?"

"I have felt so … out of control and _useless_ these past few months," he says as he carries me up the stairs and into our bedroom. "I didn't like it, love. I hated sitting back watching you in pain, knowing there was absolutely nothing I could do to help you." He very carefully sets me on my feet beside our bed then turns down the sheets. I put my hand on his shoulder, and he turns and looks at me.

"That's not true, baby. You were with me every step of the way," I say reaching out, taking his hands in mine, and threading our fingers together. "You comforted me when I was feeling down. You held me when I was hurting so bad I could barely stand it. You encouraged me when I didn't think I could go on for one more minute. You've never been useless. You've been my rock, Tobias Eaton. I love you so much." He brings our joined hands up to his lips and kisses my knuckles while staring deeply into my eyes. I take a step forward and after releasing his hands, cup his cheeks and capture his mouth with a hungry urgency, pouring every ounce of love I feel for him into the lingering, intimate kiss. He groans as I nibble on his bottom lip before plunging my tongue deeply into his mouth, making love to it. I wrap both my arms around his neck and press myself up against his hard body, and I can feel what I'm doing to him.

"Tris," he moans, "we've got to stop this."

"No we don't. I want you inside of me, Tobias," I pant against his lips. "We've waited long enough. I _need_ you."

"I don't know," he hesitantly says as he pulls his lips from mine. He slowly shakes his head, a mixture of desire and uncertainty on his face. I stare into his dilated eyes knowing that he wants me just as much as I want him so I try not to let his indecision get to me. He's just doing what he always does, he's looking out for me.

"I'm ready, baby," I say. "I planned on giving you one last Christmas present tonight after we got the kids into bed but I just realized I can be your very _first_ present. Make love to me, Tobias. I know you want me. I can feel you." I drop one hand down and rub him through the flannel fabric. His throbbing shaft lengthens and hardens further under my touch until he abruptly drags it away with a groan.

"Of course, I want you," he says as he lifts my hand to his mouth and kisses my knuckles. "I want you so bad I could explode right here with that one touch. It's been _so_ _long_ but I need to know you're okay. I won't put my desire to make love with you above your wellbeing." He runs his hand into my hair and tilts my head back a little, exposing my throat to his hot mouth. "How do I know you're telling me the truth?" I understand why he's asking but it still stings a little until I feel his tongue on the base of my throat then I almost forget everything.

"Would I lie to you?" I finally ask, my breath catching in my throat.

"About _this_ , of course, you would," he says and I can't help but sigh. He knows me so well.

"You're right … I would … but I'm not. There was a time when I was lying in bed in the infirmary wondering if this day would ever come because I was in so much pain," I say then an easy, relaxed smile overtakes my face. "I promise you, Tobias Eaton, I'm fine, and I want you inside me right now. I miss you. I miss us. I want you so much. Please make love to me."

"You have to promise that if you don't feel up to it you tell me and we'll stop," he says. "I almost lost you. I'd wait forever if that's what you need."

"I promise but I swear, I'm ready." His mouth moves to mine, and he kisses me passionately yet unhurriedly as his nimble fingers make quick work of the buttons on my sleep shirt. A shiver runs up my spine when I feel his hands land on my bare hips. He slowly moves them up my heated body and slips the flannel sleep shirt off my shoulders until it falls to the floor at our feet. A rumbling growl emanates from deep in his chest as he takes in the sight of my naked body before him.

"God, you're beautiful," he breathlessly pants. "Do you know how much I love you?" _I do_. I wrap my arms around his neck, pressing my body to his, and draw his mouth to mine. The feeling of my bare skin on his will never get old. Our hands explore as our tongues tangle, and I suddenly get the strong desire to taste him. I put my hands on the waistband of his sleep pants and push them down over his hips. As I sink to my knees before him, he lets out a low growl. "You don't have to, Tris."

"No I don't but I want to, Tobias," I murmur. As I continue ridding him of his pants, he springs free from the confining fabric, and I can't take my eyes off the magnificent tower of masculinity in front of my face. I lick my suddenly parched lips then wrap my hand around his hard length and glide it up and down. I slide my eyes up his body until I meet his gaze then kiss the tip. It's empowering to see and feel his entire body react. I dart my tongue out of my mouth and drag it up the throbbing underside, playing with the sensitive spot directly below the head. I continue to pleasure and tease him with my hand and tongue until I think _I'm_ going to explode from feeling him writhe in front of me then I take him in fully into my mouth for the first time in months. I start with slow, shallow passes then suck a little harder as I go a little deeper all the while teasing his shaft with my tongue until he's repeatedly hitting the back of my throat. I move my other hand to his backside and knead the muscles gently as he repeatedly thrusts his hard, thick manhood into my mouth. I know he's about to come when his rhythm changes from long, measured strokes to short, frantic stabs. When his entire body tenses, I stop all movement and hold him in my mouth as deeply as possible without setting off my gag reflex.

"Oh, _shit_ , Tris," he moans loudly as he shoots strand after strand of thick, sticky protein straight down my throat. I swallow quickly, making sure I get every last drop then I suddenly feel myself being dragged straight up his body. His mouth crashes into mine as he guides my legs around his waist, and I wrap my arms tightly around his neck and cling to his body as he ravishes my mouth with his talented tongue. He pulls his lips from mine and rests his forehead against mine as our breath comes rushing in and out of our heaving chests. "Do you have any idea what you do to me?"

"The same thing you do to me," I pant loudly.

"I love you," he says as he caresses my cheek.

"I love you, too," I say then give him a tender kiss.

"And I love how you make me feel with this pretty little mouth of yours," he says as he runs his thumb gently over my swollen bottom lip then I watch his eyes dilate until they turn nearly black as I draw the digit into my mouth and suck softly. "You're killing me, love." He utters a nearly inaudible expletive as I tease his thumb with my tongue then I give him a flirtatious little wink. He groans deeply then a sly grin spreads over his face. "I think it's my turn to get my mouth on you." He removes his thumb from my mouth then takes a couple steps. He gently lies me down in the center of the mattress then covers me with his body. I moan when I feel his weight for the first time in ages, and he tenses above me.

"I'm alright, baby. There's nothing to worry about." I run my fingertips from his shoulders down to his backside, give a little squeeze, and then run them back up and into his hair. I draw his mouth to mine for a long, lazy, exploratory kiss. "God, I love how you feel on me," I mutter when he moves his mouth to my left ear. I close my eyes and relish the feel of his lips and tongue on one of the most sensitive spots on my body. I rake my fingernails up his firm, muscular back and arch against his hard body when he sticks his tongue in the canal and French kisses my ear, aching almost uncomfortably for him. I realize I'm holding my breath when my lungs begin to ache, and I pull in short, harsh, unsteady breaths. When he moves off me, I can't help but pout but he doesn't let me mope for long. He proceeds to run his hands all over my heated body while he continues teasing my ear with his lips, tongue, and teeth. He glides one up my side into my hair and moves his mouth to mine as he slides the other over to cover a milk-heavy breast. He kneads it gently, making me moan around his probing tongue then rolls the sensitive nipple over and over between his calloused fingertips, pinching, probing, and tugging gently, eliciting a stifled gasp. He then moves his attention to my other breast, repeating every touch as he peppers butterfly kisses over every inch of my neck, shoulders, and chest.

"I think I'll have a little taste," he says as his swollen lips wrap around a tortured peak. I thread my fingers into his hair and pull him closer to my chest and sigh as he sucks it into his hot, wet, greedy mouth. After a little snack, he grasps the engorged bud between his teeth, nibbling softly then repeatedly flicks the tip of his tongue against it.

" _Holy_ _shit!_ " I moan as I twist the sheets. "God, I've missed this!" I'm concentrating so hard on every move of his mouth that I miss his roaming hand until his rough fingertips glide gently over my aching nubbin. " _Aaahh!_ " I arch off the bed at the electricity-like jolt that seems to come from nowhere. " _Tobias!_ " He smiles against my skin as I writhe then drags his tongue across my chest and captures my other highly sensitive nipple between his lips as his fingers deftly explore the warm, wetness between my thighs. He throws one of his legs over mine, keeping me open for him and teases my aching bundle of nerves with his fingers as his tongue lashes the throbbing peak in his mouth. I thrash about on the bed, an overwhelming release building. " _Oh, my God! I'm gonna come!_ " As the words explode from my lips, an orgasm so intense hits me that it's almost unbearable. My body is overtaken by multiple shuddering, clenching spasms, and I momentarily forget how to breathe. I pound my balled up fists again and again on the mattress as I fight for air. Suddenly an agonized gasp fills my deprived lungs, and I pant in short little spurts. When I raise my eyes to Tobias', I blow out a breath showing him I'm fine and a sexy as hell, triumphant smile overtakes his face.

Whenever I expect my gorgeous husband to do something, he surprises me by doing the exact opposite. I expect him to climb up my body and cover it with his before he makes sweet love to me but he starts kissing his way down. I sit up on my forearms and watch his progress, anticipating what I know it coming next, his talented tongue on my throbbing nubbin. He kisses my cesarean scar sweetly, a look of love and adoration on his face then he slides his tongue over to my newest scars. I'd like to think that they're my last but because I'm Dauntless I somehow doubt they will be. He runs his fingers lightly over each scar then kisses them, too. This time his look is dark, scary.

"I'm fine," I softly say, reaching out and caressing his cheek.

"I know and you don't know how thankful I am for that," he roughly says. "They're just hard to look at. They remind me that I almost lost you."

"I'm right here, Tobias," I say. "They didn't win. Please don't let this ruin our morning. I need you."

"You're absolutely right," he says. He kisses each scar again then continues his descent. He reaches around my legs and caresses my hips and stomach with his calloused fingertips as he repeatedly places soft kisses on the inside of each of my thighs. I pick up my right leg and rest my foot on his back and lower myself to the mattress as he kisses my womanhood. My heart speeds in my chest as my breathing becomes short and shallow. He very deliberately runs his velvety tongue up the length of my opening then kisses the throbbing bundle of nerves at the top. I suck in a ragged breath and fist my hands in the sheets as he continues to tease, not quite putting the full weight of his talented tongue _exactly_ where I want it. He peppers butterfly kisses over the intimate area then searches the folds, gliding effortlessly round and round my nubbin. Finally his relentless tongue finds my most sensitive spot and my back involuntarily arches off the bed. I moan long and low as he continues to slowly circle my nubbin, only gliding over it once in a while. I reach down and grasp the hand that's caressing my stomach and squeeze it tightly when he sucks my nubbin into his heavenly mouth. He nibbles lightly on the engorged flesh then flicks his tongue against it again and again. I feel my body starting to spiral out of control at his ministrations; my heart is trying to beat out of my chest, my blood pressure must be dangerously high, and I can't seem to get enough air into my tortured lungs. He moans loudly as he sticks his tongue inside me and laps up my flowing juices, and I can't help but blush from head to toe. Hopefully, he doesn't notice. Suddenly I'm seized by a rush of sensation so intense that tears flood my eyes. I arch against his mouth as wave after crushing wave off painful pleasure washes over my body but he doesn't stop. As a matter of fact he very slowly inserts one of his large fingers into my spasming center, and I grip it tightly. He continually runs his tormenting tongue over my throbbing bundle of nerves as his finger massages the inside of my body. When my second release overtakes me, I have a religious, out of body experience. A string of curse words I don't normally say comes flying out of my mouth as my body retreats back to earth.

"Hi," Tobias says, that cocky I-just-made-my-wife-come-harder-than-hell grin on his face. He's lying between my outstretched legs with his fingers threaded in my hair, and I'm a little shocked to realize that he's already buried deeply inside of me.

"Hi," I repeat back to him. I lift a trembling hand to his face, caress his cheek, then pull his mouth to mine. We kiss softly, slowly, sweetly. I slowly rotate my hips, and we both moan into each other's open mouths.

"Are you alright?" he asks, an intense look in his suddenly worried eyes.

"Of course," I nod, a warm smile on my face.

"Good. I'd like to make love to you now."

"I'd really like that," I pant. I grip his body tightly as he starts to withdraw from my depths. I sometimes wonder how he fits inside of me at all. Right now is one of those times. "Slowly, baby." I know he's probably thinking he can't go much slower but he'd jump up and down on one foot if that's what I asked of him. He very slowly moves in and out of my body all the while placing soft, loving kisses on my face, neck, shoulders, chest, and breasts. I feel his need to increase the speed but I'm not quite there so I push on his chest, and he rolls us over so I can be in control. I set a slow but steady in-and-out pace, lifting myself with my knees then returning to my previous position over and over again. I take his hands and drag them up my body and place them on my aching breasts. He gently squeezes them for a time then molds them with his palms as he plays with the perky little peaks with his thumbs. We repeatedly moan and groan and pant and gasp as our bodies collide against one another. Sensing I'm finally ready for more, he rolls us until I'm once again beneath him. He hooks my knees with his arms and pushes them back toward my chest, spreading me wide for his impressive length, and we move with each other … _against_ each other.

"I love you," he moans into my neck.

"I love you," I whisper. His lips move to mine, and we make love to each other's mouths, mimicking each movement of our inflamed bodies. He releases my legs and leans back onto his knees then grasps my hips and thrusts vigorously into me again and again. " _Oh, shit!_ " I moan loudly as my body continues to climb toward its release. His long, steady strokes become shorter and frenzied, and I know he's getting closer to coming, too. I frantically lift my hips up to meet every single one of his urgent thrusts, and we fall over the edge … spectacularly … together. My body clenches and spasms around his invading length as he empties his life-giving seed inside of me. When we're both spent, we still, and he collapses on top of me.

"Merry Christmas, Tobias," I whisper in his ear as I run my fingertips up and down his sculptured back. "That was … fucking awesome."

"You took the words right out of my mouth," he says as he kisses my temple.

"That just slipped out," I giggle and flush.

"God, I love you," he mutters. "How are you, love? You're not hurting are you?" I take a quick inventory and am pleased with what I find.

"I'm good," I say. "No pain." I wrap my arms tightly around his neck. "Thank you."

"Tris," he sighs. I know he doesn't like it when I thank him for making love to me but he deserves it. That was spectacular on every level.

"I should be able to thank my loving," I kiss his cheek, "caring," then his right ear, "very considerate," then his jawbone, "thoughtful," then his lips, "sexy as hell husband for giving me not one, not two, but _three_ mind-blowing orgasms. I think I was speaking in tongues for a moment. I didn't even feel you enter me. You, sir, have stepped up your game. I owe you a pampering session. Whatever you want, I'll do it."

"Anything? Merry Christmas to me!" he says, a lustful look in his dark eyes. As I giggle, a deep chuckle rumbles through his chest that does something magical to our joined bodies. "Is it too early to ask for another present?" I clench down on him, causing him to moan. I push on his chest and he rolls us over.

"I think that can be arranged," I say then I proceed to make love to him again.

We're dozing in each other's arms when Teagan's fussing comes through the baby monitor loud and clear. Tobias offers to get her but I tell him to try to get some more rest because I imagine Tyler will be up at any time. I slide out of bed and stretch feeling sore in places I haven't felt sore in quite a while, and I can't keep the smile off my face. I love the reminder that Tobias has been inside me. It's a welcome ache. I pull my sleep shirt back on, crawl across the bed, and give my husband a long, slow kiss.

"What was that for?" he asks, playing with a strand of my hair.

"Thank you for trusting that I knew I was ready," I say. "I love you, Tobias Eaton. Merry Christmas."

"I love you, too, my Beatrice Grace," he says. "Merry Christmas." Our mouths are moving toward each other's when Teagan's fussing turns into cries.

"I better get her," I sigh. I give him a quick peck then slide out of bed for the second time in a matter of minutes and pad into the nursery. I pick her up out of her crib and hold her close, comforting her. "Are you wet?" I lie her down on the changing table, strip her out of her damp sleeper, and change her wet diaper then dress her in clean jammies. I've been itching to get her and her sister into these PJs ever since I bought them. They are red fleece footie pajamas with the cutest little animated reindeer on one side and My First Christmas in white on the other. "Is that better, Teags?" Tyler's nickname for her has stuck, and we don't call her Peanut much anymore. She smiles around her fist, which is shoved in her mouth. "Now let's get your tummy full before your brother and sister wake up." I put a matching bib on her to protect her cute little jammies then sit down in the rocking chair. I unbutton a couple buttons then put her to my exposed breast. She latches on and suckles greedily. "Slow down, sweetheart. I don't want you to make yourself sick. Did Mommy make you wait too long? I'm so sorry." As she nurses, I stare into my daughter's beautiful eyes, which are becoming more and more like her father's every single day and quietly hum her a song I first heard shortly after she was born. I heard it again last week, and I just can't get it out of my head. It's the perfect sentiment, talking about everything a mother wishes for her children but a daughter especially. I pull her from my breast and put her against my shoulder then pat her back. She coos until she lets out the loudest burp. "Wow! That was a Tessa burp! Is your big sis rubbing off on you? I'm going to have to separate you, aren't I?" I hear whining coming from Tessa's crib so I stop talking, hoping she'll fall back to sleep but instead she starts wailing at the top of her lungs. Teagan releases my nipple and tries to sit up to see what's going on when Tobias walks into the room.

"Is your arm stuck, Pebbles?" he asks as he carefully picks her up. She smiles through her tears at him.

"Mama," she whines pathetically as she eyes me nursing her sister. Her little babbles, jabbers, and coos are mostly incomprehensible, except for Mama. That is plain as day.

"What, little one?"

"Her arm was stuck, and she couldn't roll over," Tobias says. "That's what upset her."

"Is she okay? She's not hurt is she? Do we need to take her to the doctor?"

"No, she's fine now," he says with a chuckle and I know he's right. She's moving her arms and she doesn't act like she's in pain. He quickly changes her diaper and puts her in her new Christmas PJs then sits in the second rocking chair next to me. Tessa sits contentedly on his lap, chewing on her fingers staring at me.

"Are you hungry, too, little one?" I ask and she smiles around her fingers.

"I'll get her a bottle," he says as he starts to stand.

"No," I say. "Let's see if she can hold off for just a little bit then I'll nurse her. Teags is almost finished."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," I say, sadness audible in my voice. "She'll be weaned too soon as it is."

"Alright," he says, relaxing in the chair. He looks from Tessa to Teagan and back again. "They look adorable in their matching outfits."

"Their Christmas outfits for later match also and coordinate perfectly with Tyler's," I say. I picked out white onesies that say Baby's First Christmas in red flanked by a couple silver snowflakes, red pants covered in big white polka dots, a matching red tulle skirt, and a white headband with a red bow on it to tie the entire outfit together for the girls and a crisp white button-down shirt, black dress pants, and a matching pair of red suspenders and bowtie with big white polka dots for Tyler. "They're going to be so cute. We have to get a lot of pictures. We can't miss a single minute. I want everything to be perfect today, especially for Tyler. He's went through so much this past year."

"We all have," he says.

"You're right but he's only two," I say. "No child should have to deal with what he's dealt with since we got the call that Evelyn was in the hospital. Should we throw him a birthday party?"

"Not today. I think there's enough going on," he says sounding so serious. I look at him then roll my eyes.

"Smart ass," I murmur under my breath.

"I heard that," he says with a chuckle. "I was kidding. A birthday party is a great idea. We can invite all our friends and Zane, Elliott, Mia, and Emma. I think he would love that."

"I know he would love it," I say. I pull Teagan from my breast and Tobias gives me Tessa then takes her. As I put Tessa to my breast, he proceeds to burp Teagan. "I love our life." I stare down into my growing girl's face, and I marvel once again that I'm able to nurse her. When I feel Tobias' gaze, I look up at him.

"I love our life, too," he says. Teagan once again burps loudly then lays her head on his shoulder as he rubs her back. "I thought last Christmas was perfect. It doesn't hold a candle to this one now that we have a family."

"Last year and this year both will always be extra special to me because they were both firsts; last year because it was our first Christmas together and this year because it's our first Christmas as a family."

"Mommy! Daddy!" Tyler excitedly yells as he runs into the room. "Santy come! Santy come!"

"He did?" Tobias asks, feigning shock. "How do you know?"

"I see pwesents by the twee," he whispers, bouncing up and down excitedly.

"Well if you saw presents Santa _must_ have been here," I say. "Should we go downstairs and see what he left?"

"Yeah!" he says, shifting from foot to foot.

"Go potty first," I say.

"Otay!" he says and he turns and runs out of the room. Tobias and I both laugh at his innocent exuberance. I shift Tessa in my arms and get up. She continues nursing as I make my way down the stairs. I pick up the remote for the Christmas lights, and when I flip the switch, the entire living room lights up. It's easy to see "Santa's" boot prints in the soft glow. I lower myself into the club chair and wait for Tobias, Tyler, and Teagan. As I'm burping Tessa, I hear footfalls hurrying down the stairs.

"Mewwy Chwistmas, Mommy!" Tyler says as he runs into the living room.

"Please walk, Tyler," Tobias says as he comes into the room behind him. "You don't want to spend your day in the infirmary do you?" He shakes his head but his good mood will not be deterred. I notice a little black box in my son's hand.

"What do you have there, Tyler?" I ask. He's standing staring at the presents beneath the tree. "Tyler?" He turns his head and his bright eyes meet mine then he looks in his hand like he forgot he was holding something.

"This fo you," he says as he places the box in my hand.

"Is this from you?" I ask. He shakes his head innocently.

"It fwom Daddy!"

"Tobias!" I whine as Tyler places the box in my trembling palm. "What's this?" I look into his eyes and frown.

"It's Christmas, love," he says like he's actually talking to a two year old. "Did you honestly think I wouldn't get you a present?" He rolls his eyes at me, and I know he has a valid point. "I really want you to have it and, just to be clear, it's from me _and_ the kids." I flip the lid on the box and tears immediately spring into my eyes as I take in the delicate platinum infinity symbol necklace before me. I feel terrible for giving him such a hard time. "That symbol is just like our love … strong, unbreakable, and never-ending." He sits on the ottoman in front of me then reaches out and wipes away the tears falling from my lashes onto my cheeks. "A lot of wonderful moments happened for us this past year but by far the best were the birth of our daughter," he touches the sapphire that is imbedded in the dangling infinity symbol, "and when we signed Tessa and Tyler's adoption papers." He slides his fingers over the diamond and garnet. "If we have more children their birthstones can be placed right next to these. You've given me the best present in the world, Mrs. Eaton. You made me a father, and I don't know what I can ever do to thank you enough. I love you." I lean forward and press my lips to his. Giggles, babbling, and cooing make us part. Tyler has his hands over his eyes, and the girls are looking up at us like we're nuts.

"I love you, too, Mr. Eaton," I say, caressing his cheek. "Thank you for making me a mother. I was terrified at first … and sometimes still am … but it's the most rewarding job I will ever have." I kiss him again then run my fingers over the necklace.

"It's so beautiful," I mutter, trying not to cry again.

"Can I open a pwesent?" Tyler asks, inadvertently interrupting a tender moment.

"Of course you can, buddy," I say. We get up and follow him to the tree. He stops short of it and cocks his head to one side then looks toward the front door. He sees the boot prints. He follows them with his eyes then makes the discovery that the milk and cookies he left for Santa are gone.

"Look!" he squeals pointing at the tray. "Santy eated the cookies all gone! What's those?" He points at the prints.

"Wow! I think those are Santa's boot prints. That's _amazing_!" Tobias says. He seems just as excited as Tyler who has honestly never looked happier. Well I can think of one exception, the day he got to come home with us forever. "Should we sit down and open presents?"

"Yeah!" Tyler says. We gather around the tree, Tessa in my lap, Teagan in Tobias', and Tyler between us. As I watch our son rip into his first present that "Santa" brought him, I think back over the past year. My eyes touch briefly on each person I love most in this life and silently thank God that we are all healthy, happy and, most importantly, _together_. After reminiscing for a moment I realize that everyone is looking at me.

"Why you cwying, Mommy?" Tyler asks. I reach up and feel wetness in my eyes that I didn't realize was there.

"I'm happy," I say. He reaches up and wipes the tears away with a frown.

"You not 'pose to cwy when you happy," he says. "You 'pose to laugh!" I smile brightly at him.

"It's okay to cry when you're happy," I say. "But you're right, buddy. No more tears today."

We have a wonderful time watching as Tyler excitedly rips open present after present from Santa and us. He opens the toy computer and cartridges that were bought for him months ago; a football, basketball, and soccer ball trio and a baseball glove and ball that Tobias can't wait to play with with him; several outfits he's not really that interested in except for the Dauntless gear that matches Tobias' exactly. He thinks it's the coolest thing ever; several pairs of long pajamas; and a stocking full of this and that including some candy, which he sneaks a piece of. We try to get Tessa to open her presents but she's just not interested in anything beyond shoving the wrapping paper in her mouth so we let Tyler open both Tessa and Teagan's presents, too. He enjoys tearing into each package but he's less than thrilled with the, what he loudly and almost disgustedly dubs, "girl stuff" he finds, which include a soft-bodied baby doll with dark curly hair and light blue eyes that look like it was made especially for Tessa and a blonde-haired, dark blue-eyed one for Teagan; an assortment of teethers and rattles; several outfits, sleepers, socks, shoes, and bibs each; and several storybooks. Their stockings are full of necessities like ointments and lotions but also cute barrettes, headbands, bows, and ponytail holders.

Tobias and I aren't left out either. I give him a few different outfits including the sweater I bought for him in Amity on our honeymoon; a whole new line of wonderful-smelling toiletries including shampoo, conditioner, shaving cream, cologne, aftershave, body wash, and lotion; and new individual and group shots of the kids that I arranged with Gunner to take while Tobias was working. But what he's most impressed with is the father's ring I got him. It, like my necklace, is in a simple platinum setting inlayed with a garnet, diamond, and sapphire representing each of our children. We continue to amaze each other with how closely matched our thinking is. Tyler made him a paperweight for his desk at work. It's basically a good sized rock we picked up at the park that he decorated one afternoon while the girls were taking a nap. He's extremely proud of his handiwork, and Tobias deemed it the most beautiful paperweight he's ever seen. He also got a t-shirt from the kids that says Best Dad Ever Hands Down that has each of the kids' handprints on it in different colors. Christina volunteered to help me with that project and ended up having to trim Tyler's hair to get the yellow out of it. It's a super cute shirt I'm not entirely sure was worth the mess until I see Tobias' eyes light up and then I know that if repainting the entire apartment had been the price, it would have been worth it.

Not to be outdone, Tobias basically gives me a brand new mix and match wardrobe including tops, dress pants, skirts, t-shirts, jeans, jackets, matching lingerie sets, nighties, several pairs of sexy heels, and ankle boots he picked out all on his own, and he's extremely proud of that fact; a beautiful double interlinked hearts platinum bracelet, which is engraved in tiny letters on the back with 4 and 6 4ever; a gift card to the spa for a day of all the pampering treatments I desire; and a beautiful figurine of a woman with flowing blonde hair holding her baby against her chest. To me it's just as sentimental as the Ferris wheel ornament he gave me last year on Christmas morning. I give him a passionate kiss in thanks. The kids give me a picture that Tyler spent a lot of time drawing and Tobias put in a frame for my office. It's of the five of us, and we are at the park. There's smiles on all our oversized heads. It brought tears to my eyes seeing how he pictures us all but I quickly willed them away. I told him there would be no more tears today.

"Well, I think that's everything," I say. "Who wants breakfast?"

"No, it not," Tyler says. "See!" He points to the left side of the tree, which is hidden in shadows and sure enough there sits four small square boxes wrapped in an unfamiliar shiny silver and teal paper. My eyes slide to Tobias, and he shrugs his shoulders innocently. "Can I open?"

"Let's see who they are for first," Tobias says. "Go ahead and grab them." Tyler excitedly dashes and gets the boxes then returns to his seat.

"Who they fo?" he asks.

"Well, this one says Tessa," I say as I read the first box. "This one is yours. This one is Teags, and this final one is mine."

"Awe! Daddy don't have one," he says. He picks up Teagan's present and hands it to his father. "You open this one!"

"Well thank you, buddy," he says. "You go ahead, Tyler, and open your present but be careful with what's inside."

"Otay." He carefully tears off the paper revealing a decorative box, and I move closer to get a good look at it then have to wrestle the paper out of Tessa's strong fingers. Tyler lifts the lid, and I'm amazed by what's inside. He looks at the ornament then up at me.

"Do you know what that is?" I ask and he shakes his head.

"That, my boy, is your very own ornament for the Christmas tree," I say as I lift the sterling silver ornate ornament out of the box and let it dangle off my finger. Hanging down from the center is a moon and a heart. "It says, Son, I love you to the moon and back, and back here it's engraved with Tyler's First Christmas."

"Moon and back?" he asks, his bottom lip quivering as he studies the ornament. He goes to Tobias, being careful of his baby sister and wraps his arms around his neck. "I love you, Daddy." Then he does the same thing to me. "I love you, Mommy."

"We love you, too, buddy," I say as I kiss his cheek. "Do you want to unwrap your sister's presents?"

"Otay," he says. Teagan's ornament is the first he opens, and it makes us both laugh. It's a baby dressed as a peanut that says Teagan's First Christmas. It's absolutely perfect. He next opens Tessa's ornament that is so sweet. It's a sterling silver baby booty with light pink accents and a heart that says Baby's First Christmas. "Want me open this one?" He derives so much more pleasure from ripping open the packages that I let him. "Hey it you!" He's right. I take the ornament and hold it up.

"How?" I ask.

"Gunner," is all Tobias needs to say. I'm not sure how he accomplished it but it looks like he painted one of our wedding pictures on the inside of a glass ornament along with the phrase Our First Christmas, which technically is true. It's our first Christmas as Mr. and Mrs. Tobias Eaton. It's amazing and truly one of a kind ... just like us.

"I love it," I say. "I love them all." Tobias sits Teagan in my lap next to her sister and Tyler cuddles up next to me as we watch him hang each of the four ornaments on our tree in prominent places. "It's perfect." Tobias turns and looks my way.

"No, you four are perfect," he says. "Merry Christmas! Now who wants breakfast?"


End file.
